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audubonbaybridge · 4 years ago

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Rest your head, little girl blue

Author: @shesasurvivor (aka @audubonbaybridge)

Rating: General

Summary: Drake just wants to keep Gosalyn safe. Maybe asking her to be his crimefighting partner wasn't the best way to do that. But someone has to be there for the kid. Especially today. Set post-Let's Get Dangerous.

A/N: How exciting was Let's Get Dangerous? I'm so happy that Gosalyn has finally arrived in the DT17 universe. Her relationship with Darkwing is everything, and I couldn't help wanting to flesh them out a litle more in this version of their lives. Consider this a little warmup for getting a grasp on their new characterizations.

Read on AO3

"Okay, Gosalyn- "

"Uh-uh. Quiverwing."

"Oh! Alright. Remember, Quiverwing, you want to give your enemies a sense of surprise. You want to ease through the night, sneaking up on them."

"Why wait?" The redhead duckling jumped from the perch where she and Darkwing Duck hid in wait for their nightly nemesis, St. Canard's current number one villain, Dr. Slug.

"Gosalyn!! Uh, I mean, Quiverwing!" Darkwing Duck yelped in a mixture of terror and surprise as he watched his protege leap haphazardly from the shadows and directly into the path of danger. Seeing no other choice, he jumped after her, hurrying to catch up.

"He's right around the corner, according to W.A.N.D.A.! If we hurry, we can corner him and pin him to the ground in no time!" Quiverwing Quack called behind her to Darkwing Duck as she raced along the dark, empty city streets.

"No, Gosalyn, we need to have a plan! Ahh!" Darkwing fell to his face as he tripped over a curb. His screech finally brought Gosalyn to a halt.

Turning around to the scene of Darkwing Duck splayed out across the cement, she couldn't help rolling her eyes, even if a small smile threatened to lift the corners of her beak. "Are you okay?" she asked, circling back to where he lay.

"Never better," he muttered. With a deep breath, he pushed himself up with his arms, then brushed off his costume. "But we really should be more careful. Dr. Slug is St. Canard's number one villain. He could have anything planned for us."

"But how am I going to learn how to be a superhero if I'm always playing it safe?" Gosalyn shot back. "Come on, you said you wanted me to be your crimefighting partner, remember?"

"Well, yeah... " Darkwing had brought that up. He couldn't deny Gosalyn was smart and challenging, and she was actually good in a fight. But that hadn't been the reason he had asked her to be his partner. Not the real reason, anyway.

"Then teach me!" Before he had a chance to argue, she turned on her feet and began running back in the direction of the bank Dr. Slug was supposed to be in.

"No! Gosalyn, it's not safe!"

This had the desired effect. Or so Darkwing thought, at least. Gosalyn slid to a stop, then whirled around to face him. "Safe?" she asked. "Was it safe when you jumped off a scaffold to save me?"

"Well- "

"Or when you rode your motorcycle off the wires on the Audubon Bay Bridge?"

"Well, that's just how you exit Darkwing Tower."

Gosalyn rolled her eyes and crossed her eyes. "And I guess it was safe when you marched alone to face Taura Bulba and the Fearsome Four without anyone there to help you. That seemed really safe."

"Hey, young lady!" He was mad now. He had gone into that building alone for a reason. And it was the same reason he didn't want her rushing headfirst into a dangerous trap set by a supervillain now. "That's going too far!"

For a brief second, Gosalyn drew back, quiet. Then anger flooded her eyes. "Young lady? Don't call me that! You're not my father!"

Now it was his turn to draw back in surprise. "Maybe not," he said slowly. "But I'm looking out for you anyway. Someone has to."

"I thought I told you, I don't need anyone to look out for me!" Gosalyn crossed her arms and glared at him.

This was true, and Darkwing remembered the words well. He also remembered thinking how much he disagreed with her assessment. How, no matter how much she might insist she was fine on her own, she clearly needed someone to be there for her. To help her and look out for her. And whether Drake wanted to admit it himself, he could barely stop himself from being the one to do it.

"Fine," Darkwing crossed his own arms. "But you can't help me with Dr. Slug. You'll just have to watch me this time."

"What?!" Gosalyn's beak dropped open in shocked outrage. "You can't stop me!"

"I can take away quack-fu lessons for a week if you don't stay out of this fight."

Her brow furrowed, angry, but at a loss for words. She was at an impasse, and she knew it. Gosalyn lived for their daily quack fu lessons. Truth be told, Drake hated to take them away from her himself. They gave her a focus and discipline she sorely needed and craved. She had thrived under his tutelage, and he couldn't help watching her progress with pride. But he would take them away if it meant keeping her safe now.

When it became clear to Gosalyn that he would not relent on this, she stomped past him with her hands rolled into fists, grumbling something about how ridiculous he was as she headed back to the Ratcatcher.

The journey back to Darkwing Tower was silent. Gosalyn would not look at him, instead opting to stare off into the side with a stony expression on her face, arms still crossed. She wouldn't be over missing out on tonight's fight for a while. Darkwing couldn't help the numerous glances at her as he drove. Couldn't help wondering if he had made the right call or if he should have given in and let her fight. Would it have been better for her to let her have her way and addressed the issue later? No, he was convinced that making her sit this one out was the right choice. It was the only way to make sure she understood the consequences.

Back in the tower, she quickly climbed out of the sidecar, tossing her helmet aside carelessly, not even bothering to look where it fell. Drake wordlessly picked it up, watching as she sulked up the ladder to the window overlooking Audubon Bay. Her favorite place to go when she was upset.

Placing the helmet back in the sidecar, he took a deep breath and decided to follow her. He found her curled up on the window ledge as she stared out at the city. If Launchpad were here, he would join her. It had worked before, hadn't it? Drake padded over and settled down next to her, letting his legs dangle over the side.

Gosalyn didn't even acknowledge his presence. She just stared out into space.

Drake sat in silence for a long time, trying to think about how to approach her. It was difficult sometimes, trying to find the right words to say to her. Yet he understood her. In a lot of ways, she reminded him of himself. Maybe that was what made it so difficult. He wanted to do right by her. Until they found her grandfather, he was the only guardian she had. And despite her protestations that she could take care of himself, he knew she needed someone to care for her.

This time, though, Gosalyn solved the problem for him.

"Why did you even take me in as your crimefighting partner," she asked, putting extra emphasis on the last few words, "if you didn't have any intention of actually letting me fight?"

Drake opened his bill to answer, then shut it again, still not sure how to respond. Was it this hard for everyone raising a preteen? He caught himself--raising? They had both agreed that this wasn't what that was. Gosalyn had made it clear she had her own family she wanted to get back to. And Darkwing Duck worked best as a solo act.

Except when he didn't.

"I do want you to fight," he said. "I just want you to be smart about doing it. You can't just go rushing into every situation without a plan. Remember how things went with Taurus Bulba?"

He was greeted with stony silence. Of course, she remembered.

"Look," he said, "I just want you to stay safe- "

"You treat me like some kind of baby! I'm not a baby!" She turned and glared at him, her green eyes reflecting anger, but also a flicker of something else. Doubt.

"I know you're not! But, well- " Drake stuttered, looking for the right way to explain it. What it was he wanted for her. Drake wanted her to tone her inherent strength, to keep her spirit alive, and learn how to utilize it in her favor. He just wanted the best for her. The best in the whole world. But he also knew, if he were honest, that maybe she was right. He just didn't want her to get hurt.

"Of course, you're not a baby!" He told her. "But is it so wrong that I don't want anything to happen to you? You're still just a kid, Gosalyn! A resourceful one, sure, but I still have to protect you!"

There it was: the tip of the iceberg of what was really going on inside Drake. That maybe asking her to stick around wasn't so much about giving her a place to stay and something to do while they searched for a way to bring back her grandfather, but because he couldn't stand the thought of letting her be alone in this world. That he really did want to keep her safe.

He expected her usual acerbic insistence that she didn't need anyone to protect her, but he was surprised to be met by silence. His expression softened. "Hey... you okay?"

Gosalyn glanced at him, then sighed as she looked back out over the bay. "I know you were just trying to protect me," she said.

Drake quirked an eyebrow. This wasn't going as he expected. "You do?"

Gosalyn didn't answer his question. A faraway look was in her eyes like her mind wasn't in the present. And it didn't take much for Drake to tell that something was bothering her.

"Hey, earth to Gosalyn," he said, waving a hand in front of her face to bring her back and maybe even make her laugh. No response. He studied her for half a minute before placing a hand on her shoulder. She jumped slightly at the feeling and looked over at him.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Drake asked her gently, giving her a small, encouraging smile.

He could see by the look on her face that she didn't want to tell him. But then she surprised him by doing so anyway. "It's just... it was one year ago that my grandfather disappeared."

Drake's heart fell for her. No wonder she had been acting out earlier, trying to run headfirst into danger. He'd been reading books on children with trauma, and he knew acting out was a sign that something was bothering her.

"I'm sorry," he told her quietly. It was all he had; all he could even offer her. He knew nothing he could say could take away the pain she must be feeling at the memories, at the knowledge that it had been a whole year since she had last seen her family. All he could offer was silence and to keep her company while she dealt with the pain. So he sat with her and looked out across the moonlit bay.

Eventually, soft sniffles arose from beside him, and he realized she was crying. Gosalyn hardly ever cried; she was continually trying to prove she was too tough to do anything like that. But every so often, the tears came, like on the night she had done the brave, selfless thing and destroyed the Ramrod. It had broken his heart for her then, just as it was now.

Just as he had that night, instinct took over his reactions, and he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close. Immediately she leaned in, burying her face in his shirt as the soft tears gave in to louder sobs. He pulled her into his lap, where she curled into a ball as he held her while she cried until she had fallen asleep in his arms. Then, carefully, so not to wake her, he carried her to her bed, removing her shoes and tucking her in as he hummed the lullaby she occasionally hummed herself. Maybe there were words, but she hadn't yet taught him them. Perhaps someday, she would.

Gosalyn rolled over on her side in her sleep, her fist grasping on the edge of the pillow. She was sweeter than she wanted anyone to know, but she was starting to let her guard down and let Drake see it more and more. She needed a protector, whether she wanted to admit it or not. And if he could help it, he would always be near to chase away fear.

He patted her softly and whispered, "Goodnight, Gosalyn."

#Darkwing Duck #Ducktales 2017 #Ducktales #Darkwing Duck fanfic

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howrry · 5 years ago

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when you need me

a/n: here’s that slowburn i mentioned. there WILL be a part 2 so don’t hound me on it!!!! i promise she’s coming!! enjoy :~)

w/c: 5.1k

warnings: sfw! brief mentions of violence

***

Harry and Y/N were friends for exactly one summer.

Y/N and her family moved in next door to Harry when she was seven, and her parents were delighted to find out that the boy was the same age as their daughter. Sure, at the time of the move, Y/N wasn’t intensely attached to any of her old friends or her old home or her old school, but it was good to have someone to ease her into the new life.

The two clicked immediately. They played every day that summer, either swimming or playing cops and robbers or drawing on sidewalks with chalk. They rode bikes around the neighborhood, and shot basketballs in the hoop that belonged to the teenager down the street, and explored the small forest behind their home for squirrels. He taught her cool card tricks and she taught him how to make perfect chocolate milk without using an overwhelming amount of chocolate sauce.

It was a match made in heaven—up until a few days before the beginning of classes, the last time they would've openly called the other a "friend". It wasn't that when the summer ended, they'd had some big fight or randomly stopped talking to each other; it just... wouldn't have been logical to remain associated once the school year picked up.

They’d been playing in a sandbox at the local park that day. Sure, they were a little old to be playing in a sandbox, but the only people there were a family occupying their usual spots on the swing set. Harry dug around in the sand forming both holes and piles around him while Y/N drew pictures with a stick.

“Look what I found!” he yelled, holding up a little earwig he’d dug out from the sand. He waved it in her face, to her disgust.

“Gross, Haz.” She backed up and almost stumbled back out of the sandbox.

Harry laughed and tossed it back into the sand, where it burrowed itself. “You’re such a girl sometimes.”

“Because I don’t want you shoving bugs in my face?”

“Tommy and James like bugs. They think they’re cool.” His gaze dropped down to the sand where he began to mimic her drawing.

Y/N paused for a second. “Well I’m not Tommy and James, am I?”

Harry narrowed his eyes at her. “So… you don’t want to be friends with them when we go back to school?”

“Not really. I don’t like bugs. I like…” She scanned around the park. “Flowers. And art!”

He laughed. “I guess we’re just different people at school. What are we gonna do?”

She thought it over but didn’t answer. “It’s getting late. Let’s start walking home.”

The two strolled back to their homes, kicking rocks and not saying much. Once they’d reached their front lawns and the street lights flicked on, she broke the silence.

“Just because we can’t be friends doesn’t mean we can’t say hi.” Such a simple conclusion. “And we’re pretty helpful to each other.”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “I taught you how to shuffle cards.”

“Exactly. Let’s make an agreement.” Y/N had been watching some Law and Order episodes when her parents weren’t around. They mostly bored her (since she was far too young to understand what was going on) but the legal parts of the show enticed her. “Let’s just be there for each other when we need it.”

“Like when we’re in trouble?” he asked, brows furrowing.

She giggled. “Yeah. But just in general too. If one of us needs help, the other will do what they can.”

Harry nodded, staring past her. “Sounds fair. Shake on it?”

The two shook hands and went inside their homes, with no idea what can of worms they’d just opened. ***

The first time the pact is utilized, it's for a jar of dewberry jelly.

The school year had arrived, and Harry and Y/N had almost no contact other than a brief ‘hello’ whenever the two ran into each other during the day. He hung out with Tommy and James who laughed too loud in class and threw dodgeballs really hard in Phys Ed. She made new friends with girls in art class who put stickers on their binders and gushed about fashion. Their agreement went unused for a very long time—two years to be exact, but it’s not like a child is gonna find themselves in deep trouble at every turn.

Y/N's parents were still in bed asleep one Saturday morning and she really wanted some toast. It was quite an easy breakfast to make for a 9-year-old by herself, up until she went to open the jar. Nothing. Not even a budge. It was almost ridiculous how much she was struggling to open the stupid lid. She even tried going on Google for tricks on how to open a jar: tapping the lid with a knife, running it under hot water, using duct tape, etc. No dice.

The idea of waking up one of her parents for help flashed over her mind, but stirring them before noon after a whole week of hard work just seemed evil. She had no other option but to ask Harry for help.

She grabbed the jar and ran next door, using the knocker to alert them of her presence. Gemma opened the door, one headphone in her ear and the other dangling. She scanned Y/N, and before the younger girl could even open her mouth, Gemma turned around.

"Harry, your friend is here!" she called and drifted back in without inviting her in. Fortunately, he appeared in the doorway before Y/N could realize how awkward the situation felt.

"Oh, hey, what's up?" he asked. Instead of answering his question, Y/N just shoved the jar into his hands.

"Please help me! I just wanted some toast but the jelly doesn't want to get eaten!" she whined, crossing her arms in a huff.

He inspected the jar a bit before laughing and popping open the lid with ease. When he handed back the jelly, their fingertips brushed together but he pretended not to notice. "Enjoy your toast."

"Thank you!" And she went off with her opened jar, skipping back to her house.

***

The second time, he needs her.

It's been two or three years since the jar fiasco, and Y/N had started to get an inkling that she wouldn't be seeing much of Harry anymore. If he could go so long without needing her or even acknowledging her in the hall, maybe that was the end of the two of them. The long amount of time without H had somewhat given her closure anyways.

Her mother had already gone to bed and she should have as well, but late-night reruns of Full House were so much more appealing than sleep. Y/N could feel her eyelids get heavier and heavier and she almost drifted off right there on the couch before there was a tap on the living room window looking out into her backyard.

She nearly jumped out of her skin, but when her eyes adjusted and she realized it was just Harry, her shoulders relaxed. As quietly as she could, she opened the back door and guided him inside, holding a finger to her lips so that he’d remain silent. Y/N took him to the dining room, an area far from her parents’ room so that they could talk freely.

“What’s wrong?” she finally asked, eyeing the backpack draped over his shoulder.

“Mrs. Williams is gonna fail me if I don’t get this project done,” he breathed, setting the bag on the table. “It’s a collage piece, and I’ve tried to do it m’self three times now and I ruin it every time. You’re an art genius, can y’help me?”

She smiled at being called an art genius. Sure, Mrs. Williams gave her an A on every piece and she even won an award at the local art competition for her stop-motion movie on a butterfly hatching, but she wasn’t Van Gogh. Still the compliment rang in her ears and the pact itched at the back of her mind. “Of course.”

It was a simple assignment, using magazine clippings to make a collage about anything they wanted, and Harry picked football. He pulled out several magazines, most of which had been cut out of already (presumably for his first three attempts) but there was still enough left to make a coherent project.

As Y/N got to work, he stared at her. “You’re not using enough glue,” he noted as she arranged David Beckham in the center of the cardstock.

“Who’s the art expert, again?” she snapped. The cutout stuck perfectly and he hummed in deflation. “I see why your first three projects didn’t work,” she joked, making a little smile appear on his lips.

As Y/N finished up the cutting, the two of them could no longer contain their yawns and Harry began rubbing at his eyes with his fists. "Do you ever think that we shouldn't be this tired, at this age?" she asked, breaking the heavy silence lingering over the dining room.

Harry unceremoniously dropped his chin into his palms, watching her work. "I think we'll be thinking that for the rest of our lives."

***

Y/N hated being late.

First there was the issue of wasting other people’s time, then there was the whole show about feeling awkward when you did arrive. This was all her history teacher’s fault—he was so freakin’ deaf he didn’t hear the warning bell and griped at the students who tried to pack their bags or leave. Once he’d realized what time it was he griped even more about how nobody told him it was time to go (they did; he just didn’t hear).

So, she somehow had to make a five minute journey across her campus in negative two minutes. Easy peasy. Y/N had no other option but to book it, until she unfortunately ran smack into Cara, one of the mean girls in her year.

“Watch where you’re going, spaz!” she whined, even though Y/N was the one who crashed onto the floor. Two other girls stood behind her, one of whom was named Lacey and the other was just some bitch who copied Cara to get ahead.

At the beginning of eighth grade, the secretary at the front desk of the school chose a few students each class period to help her with filing and giving notes to teachers and so on. Cara was one of the students chosen which virtually gave her the free pass to wander around whenever she wanted. Her friends, not so much, but if Cara told you to do something, you did it, even if it meant skipping class.

Y/N scrambled back up without apologizing, adjusting her bag and planning on walking away and ignoring her. Unfortunately, Cara stopped her by stiff arming her. “What’s the rush?” she hissed, a malicious smile curling up. Her eyes fell down to the ground. “Nice shoes. Do they come in women’s sizes?”

Okay, she was just trying to psych Y/N out. They were plain black Doc Martens, for crying out loud—it’s not like she was in steel toed work boots. “Are you done?” Y/N asked, unamused.

The grin on Cara’s face dropped and was replaced by a grimace fit for a cartoon villain. “Now listen—” she started, ready to chew the other girl out, but was interrupted by someone behind Y/N.

“Fuck off, Cara, or I’m telling the headmistress that your clown posse is skipping class thanks to you.” It was Harry, of all people. (Why he wasn’t in class either was a whole new can of worms, but Y/N chose to be grateful.)

She huffed out of her nose, realizing she was backed into a corner. Cara shoved past Y/N and slammed her shoulder into her, her goon squad following behind hot on her coattails.

Y/N breathed out a very appreciative thank you to Harry, and when he nodded at her, she went back on her way to her class, now with negative 4 minutes.

***

Y/N’s first mixer party was a night to remember, to say the least.

It took ages to convince her parents to let her go, but in her defense, both her mom and her dad were going to parties at 15. Plus, that was in the age of serial killers and before cell phones, so she definitely had the upper hand in that argument. Besides, it’s one party, what’s the worst that could happen?

Someone in her geometry class had invited her, and the same day she went to get a new flowy top from H&M to wear there. One of her art friends, Jenna, had already gotten her license and drove the two of them to the party where things were already in full swing once she’d entered.

It was a very mild kick back. It was a lower attendance than she’d anticipated, but the main point of reference she had were those crappy teen movies. The only thing people had to drink were those Smirnoff Ices that have almost no alcohol and a ton of sugar in them, which totally repulsed Y/N. Guess it’d be a sober evening for her.

After a few hours of chatting with people (that she would just talk to in school anyways) and listening to music, Y/N was about ready to call it a night. She excused herself from the host’s living room in search of Jenna when she felt someone tug at her arm.

It was Tyler, one of the centers on the school basketball team. “Y/N, hey! What’s up?”

She was totally caught off guard. Tyler was reallygood looking and didn’t usually spend his time around the art students. “Oh, um, hey. I was actually about to—” she started, eyes drifting to where he was holding her elbow still.

“Leave?” he finished, flashing a pearly white smile. “No way, it’s so early! Actually, I wanted to talk to you.”

A pit formed in Y/N’s stomach. What could Tyler want with her? Her eyes narrowed, but she figured she’d probably regret leaving more than finding out what he wanted. “Sure, what’s up?”

“In private, I meant.” He gestured towards the back porch, which eased her mind. If he was just trying to get handsy with her, he’d take her to a bedroom—not outside by the pools where everyone could see.

“Okay,” she finally agreed, letting him guide her outside into the yard.

The backyard was large and well taken care of. The pool had lights that changed colors, and all of the furniture matched the mahogany color of the deck, fence, and pool shed. A black grill looked like it had never been touched and the grass was a beautiful shade of bottle green.

“Are you having a good time?” he asked, breaking the ice and shoving his tanned hands into his pockets.

“Kind of. Not many of my friends are big partiers so this scene is pretty new for me,” she admitted, eyes dropping down to her shoes.

“That’s why I was surprised when I heard you were coming.” His hand came out from his pocket and lifted her chin up so that they were making eye contact. “I figured it was my only chance to tell you how pretty I think you are.”

Y/N was, how you say, shook. Her eyes widened and she squeaked out a “really?” before being alerted by a noise coming from the pool shed just a few feet away. “Did someone just laugh?” she asked, head snapping over to the shed in question.

“I didn’t hear anything,” Tyler claimed, trying to get her attention away from the shed to no avail.

“No, I swear I heard a laugh,” Y/N absentmindedly insisted, leaving Tyler to go yank open the doors of the shed.

What happened next was in light speed. The doors flew open to reveal Cara and Lacey, the former holding a 5-gallon bucket and the latter a cell phone as if she was filming. Before Y/N could even get a dazed ‘what?’ out, Cara had dumped the contents of the bucket onto Y/N. Ice water.

She let out a shriek at this, frozen in every sense of the term. When she could feel her feet beneath her again, she spun around to see Tyler laughing his ass off along with the girls.

“I almost couldn’t do it!” he yelled, clutching his stomach.

“Thanks, Ty,” Cara purred, going to loop an arm through his. “You earned that $20 fair and square.”

Y/N didn’t stick around for any longer. She didn’t want to go back in the house in the state she was in, and everyone had probably seen what happened anyways. Rather than face even more humiliation, she did the only thing that came to mind: run.

Y/N could text Jenna later. She ran and ran and ran until she was home, but rather than go inside and cry her eyes out in bed, she found herself at the base of the oak tree next to Harry’s window.

She frantically shimmied up the tree, pausing only to wipe tears out of her eyes. Her knuckles collided with his window and for a moment she wonders if it was too loud. Then the thought of Harry not hearing the knock at all flashed through her mind, and she was left wishing she'd hit it even harder.

The room brightened just a little bit, as if he'd turned on a lamp. She perked up at this, leaning forward but keeping her balance in the tree. He pulled aside the dark curtains and opened the window carefully.

"Y/N?" he asked groggily. "What are y'doing? Why are you soaking wet? Y'scared me half to death." She opened her mouth to explain but her eyes just welled up and she felt her face turn pink. "Wait, are you crying? Get inside." He lifted the window even higher so that she could tumble in gracelessly. Without asking any more questions, he pulled her into a big hug, where she sobbed quietly into the crook of his neck. It took a moment to get the sad out of her, but once she was ready to let go, his hug lingered for a half-second too long.

So there she sat, on his bedroom floor, covered in cold water and trying not to shed any more tears then she already had. Harry handed her a fluffy towel and she wiped her face off before starting to babble. "I'm sorry it's late, and you were probably sleeping, but it's been a really - hic - long and rough night and I just needed someone. I know I needed you last and it's not my turn but I didn't know who else to go to—"

"Wait wait wait, what did you say? Your turn?" he asked, holding a hand up and completely halting her babbling.

She nodded, wiping at the mascara running under her eyes. "I mean... yeah. The past eight years we've switched off who gets the next favor. You helped me last time when Cara and those other girls were picking on me, and now here I am again."

His eyebrows were knitted together in sheer confusion. "I don't know what you're talking about," he said slowly. "It's never been on a turn system. Whenever you come to me in a time of need, or vice versa, we help each other." Y/N nodded, feeling dumb. "Besides, you didn't cometo me that time. I was just in the right place at the right time. Even if we were doing turns—which we're not—it's still technically yours anyways."

He was trying to make her laugh, and it worked. Her wobbly and blotchy face broke into a cute smile without her even trying, and Harry always found an underrated beauty in a laugh after a good cry.

"Now, do yeh wanna talk about tonight?" he pressed gently, sitting on his bed and offering her a spot next to him. It was hard explaining what happened without crying again, but once his hand started rubbing up and down her back, it was easy to relax and tell her story.

He was disgusted with what he’d heard, of course. “I’m so sorry about that Y/N,” he stammered, unsure of what to say. “You don’t deserve those kinds of people in your life, not now and not ever.”

She smiled and it was totally contagious. “Thanks H.”

“Do y’want me to get you some of Gem’s clothes?” he offered. “Yeh look like a sad puppy, shiverin’ and all.”

Y/N shook her head. “No, I think I’m just gonna go home. I can tell my parents I fell in the pool. Thank you for listening, and everything else. You’re a great friend.”

She returned the towel and left the same way she came in, Harry making sure she safely got to the ground before she ducked into her home. Something felt strange for a few minutes afterwards and Harry couldn’t put a finger on it until he was tucked into bed and drifting out.

That was the first time she’d called him his friend in eight years.

***

Fuck, my laundry!

Three universal words that will have anyone throwing themselves out of their bed late at night to go dig through a washing machine and pray it hasn't been so long that the clothes need to be rewashed.

Y/N was one of these people, on a night where she should probably be out with friends. It was Saturday night, but that meant tomorrow was Sunday and the day after that was Monday and that meant her stupid Calculus homework would be due. Who said that senior year would be a breeze? She wanted to kick their ass.

Fortunately, the clothes were fine, and on the way back to her room she was imagining how she was going to backflip into her bed and knock the hell out for nine hours. Just before she went upstairs, she saw a shadow in the corner of her eye fluttering outside the front door.

Her blood ran cold. Her parents were long asleep at this hour; if this was some intruder, she wouldn't be able to make it over to their room and have them awake quickly enough. Her mind scrambled over dozens of plans and ideas (all of which ended with the intruder totally catching her) before something really surprised her.

A knock at the front door.

Umm... people planning on breaking into your house don't knock. Well, they do, but only at two in the afternoon when they're checking if someone's home, not when it's well after midnight. She tiptoed to the door and peered through the glass to see none other than Harry.

She swung the door open instantly. "Harry? What are you do—?" She stopped when her eyes adjusted and finally was able to see that he was notin good shape.

Harry's hair was mussed up, lacking its usual composure. He wasn’t able to stand up straight without leaning on the column, like he was drunk as hell. One of his eyes had a purple smudge under it and his nose trickled a tiny amount of blood. His arms were covered in scratches and bruises, but the most pressing issue was what seemed to be a paper towel soaked in blood he was holding against the side of his torso.

"Oh my God!" she whisper-yelled, guiding him inside and taking him upstairs to her bathroom. She sat him down on the edge of her tub and dug through her cabinets for a first aid kit.

Y/N didn't ask any questions. She washed her hands, found a clean rag, wet it with warm water, and rubbed a tiny bit of soap on it. Harry was still sitting with the paper towel, which she tossed in the trash can immediately.

"Can you... uh..." Y/N trailed off, gesturing weakly towards his black t-shirt. He nodded, understanding exactly what she meant, and slowly reached up to the back of the neck on his shirt to yank it off his body. He hissed when he was able to lower his arms, and she got straight to work cleaning up his wounds despite his whines.

She'd never been this close to his skin before. That was kind of a weird sentence when she thought about it, but it was true. It was tanned and firm, and a few inches above the cut on his side were the ripples of the serratus muscles. Nice.

Once the cut was cleaned up, it was clear to see that it wasn't bleeding nor had it been very deep in the first place. To be safe, Y/N used an alcohol pad to sanitize the wound once more (which Harry was not a fan of, since he didn't see her pull out the packet nor have time to brace himself) and bandaged it up with a Band-Aid bigger than the palm of her hand.

Harry watched her intently while she tended to him. He noticed how when she focused really hard she always pursed her lips, just like she did when she did his art project. Everything she did to him was delicate, as if getting his ass beaten was enough excitement for one night. Even just her stepping back to admire her handiwork and cocking her head was so... gentle.

"Hmm... you're pretty," he goofily mumbled, making her head snap up. As soon as it was out in the room, he shook his head and ran a hand down his face. "God, sorry about tha'. I think I'm still a little drunk."

"Wow, the first boy who compliments me immediately takes it back and blames it on being drunk. Just my luck, right?" she joked dryly, cleaning the bloody rag and rewetting it with fresh warm water.

He stared at her. "Wait, are yeh serious? The first?"

Y/N paused, staring down at her hands. "I mean... does my dad count?"

Harry laughed at this but only for a second before wincing from the pain. He figured she wasn't counting that skeez who'd tricked her back when she was 15. "Then I take back taking it back. You're beautiful and caring, and I really appreciate you--ah, fuck-- doing this for me."

She'd started dabbing at the dried blood from his still-sensitive nose. "Thank you, Harry. That means a lot." Y/N further inspected his nose, gingerly feeling it and holding the rag below it to prevent any further bleeding. "Doesn't feel like it's broken. Think it's just a little sore. In a day or so you'll be right as rain." Her focus moved up to his black eye, and Harry didn't breathe while she let her thumb ghost over the thin skin. "This doesn't look that deep, either. I'll get something to cool it down, and if it still looks bad, I'll give you some makeup to cover it. Be right back."

She left him alone in the washroom but returned quickly with two little boxes of apple juice. "Why'd y'get two?" he asked, taking them from her.

"So you can drink one. You looked parched." She went back to cleaning the remaining blood from the rag and hanging it to dry on the towel rack. Once the bathroom had been reorganized and Harry had finished his juice box, she sat on the lid of the toilet. "So... if you don't want to talk about it, that's fine, but... can I ask what happened?" She waved a hand around his entire body.

He snorted. "Honestly, whenever I think about it, I cringe a little. It's so cliché."

"How so?"

Harry inhaled through his bruising nose sharply. "So m'at this party with my mates, right? I didn't know a lot of people there, so I was just trying to mind my business and have a pint or four. I'm sitting in the corner of this house near the front door and I see this girl trying to leave. She's totally wasted, and it kind of looked like she was calling an Uber. I tried t'keep an eye on her 'cause, y'know, world's a dangerous place. Just as she's about to leave, some guy comes up to her. Looks real mad. Demands that she go home with him, which she protests, says her ride is there. They kind of argue while she's going out the door, so I got up to follow 'em." Harry paused to roll his neck side to side, one pop one each side making the only sound in the bathroom. "Out on the porch, he's practically got her in a bear hug. I go into panic mode and start yelling at him.

"I'm yelling at him 'get off her' and 'what's your fuckin' problem' and stuff till I catch his attention. He shoved me, I shoved him back, then it's kind of a blur. Guess he got a couple in on my face before one of his buddies joined in on kicking my arse. I got knocked down and I landed on somethin’ rough which is what cut me up so bad." He gestured towards the bandage on his torso.

"Jeez, Harry," she breathed out, eyes like saucers.

"I know. The girl managed to make it out to her ride while all this was going on. Some other blokes pulled the fighters off me and I didn't know what to do. I grabbed some paper towels from a gas station t’stop the blood and came straight here.” Once he’d finished explaining, his gaze dropped down before adding a soft, “Didn’t know where else t’go.”

She nodded. “I appreciate that. I’m glad you’re okay and I’m glad that girl is as well. The universe will reward you for this for sure.”

He laughed at her ominous remark. “Little weird, but it’s not like I expected normalcy from the art expert.”

Y/N guided Harry back downstairs after giving him a big shirt to change into. “I’ll wash this and give it back as soon as I can, okay?”

He nodded and stopped at the front door. Harry looked down at his little Florence Nightingale, decided to do the one thing he’s wanted to do for almost ten years now, and leaned down to plant a kiss on her lips.

For a second, she was pliable and willing, and he thought she was about to deepen it, but instead she pulled him off. “I need…” she started, dazed. “I need you to forget that just happened.” Then she opened the door, pushed him outside, and closed it in his face.

#harry styles #harry styles smut #harry styles one shot #harry styles fan fiction #harry concepts #harry styles masterlist #permanentcross #majorharry #harryforvogue #jawllines #haroldloverboy

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sfivcs · 5 years ago

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IC2019: The Failed Experiment of IDIC Con.

Before I launch into my tirade, I wanted to put some links together for you all with respect to the Periscope streams that I did for IC2019:

- IC2019 Opening Ceremonies: https://www.pscp.tv/SFIVCS/1djxXplDlMVxZ - IC2019 General Session: https://www.pscp.tv/SFIVCS/1OyKApVvYYNxb - IC2019 Meet the Candidates: https://www.pscp.tv/SFIVCS/1BdxYAygXpyxX - IC2019 Marine Muster: https://www.pscp.tv/SFIVCS/1LyxBAqwdjYJN - IC2019 Academy Panel: https://www.pscp.tv/SFIVCS/1OdKrvzgrVeKX - IC2019 Final Mission: https://www.pscp.tv/SFIVCS/1MnxnvpaOdLxO - IC2019 Closing Ceremonies: https://www.pscp.tv/SFIVCS/1BRJjvZvpggJw

I know it wasn’t as much coverage as IC2018 and for that I apologize. I, along with Dan & Melissa Toole, Linda & David Kloempken, Lucy Franck, Theresa Bristow, Melissa Comeau, Jessie Single, Connie Franklin, Gru, David Goldsberry, and a few others (apologies to those I missed) were busy trying to ensure that the IC actually happened. I streamed what I could for the members who couldn’t attend, and I chose the most relevant panels... but I could only be in one place and any given time.

Also, there were those who supported the IC from afar with logistical and technical support: Mary Kane, Tony Knopes, Linda Olson, Greg Mortensen. Btw, my profuse thanks to all those who attended or supported IC this year. I only wish I had a few more weeks to market and get more people to come out.

Note that this will be the last time that I’ll be streaming IC from Periscope. This, along with all the other social media accounts for the Office of the VCS will be turned over to either Theresa Bristow or Jim Herring, depending on who wins the election in November. It is my sincere hope that they will both lean into social media at the same levels that I have.

Let’s dive into IC2019′s post-mortem, after the jump.

Positives out of IC2019 include:

- In times of crisis, STARFLEET really pulls together. I’ve seen it time and time again in the past, but nothing quite reminds you strongly of the sense of family when the chips are down and you need help. The most positive aspect of this year’s IC was that we inadvertently formed an all-star team of IC staff. - Within a few short weeks since taking over the event, we managed to sell 25 supporting memberships, 19 weekend memberships, and 6 Saturday memberships. All told, the new website and registration system took in almost $3k to support IC2019. - The auction further raised another grand toward supporting the IC. - For the first time in IC history, STARFLEET was able to show licensed films with full studio permission (thanks to our friends at The Royal Manticoran Navy). We showed Trek films, Babylon 5, and Avengers: Endgame! - Our Marketing & Branding Department kicked off the 45th Anniversary branding campaign (more on that in an upcoming post). - As with previous ICs, friends (old and new) discussed Star Trek fandom, plans for the next fiscal year within our organization, and came away filled with purpose.

So, in spite of it all... the fleet came together once more.

That’s great... but, what the hell happened?

Often times you’ll get a group of people together to try something new with the IC formula. I think this comes from a sense of ego/pride; that they can try to do better than the previous... which isn’t a bad thing. We should always look to improve on our concepts and adapt to the times. STARFLEET is notoriously poor at embracing the new and recognizing obsolescence.

However, events like the International Conference are successful because attendees have a certain set of expectations. We have core components of an IC that are now looked for every year:

- Workshops and Panels on topics of interest to members. - Meal-based events like the Marine Mess and the Admiralty Banquet - The Annual General Session, where we acknowledge our growth and listen to reports from the Executive Committee. - The meeting of the Admiralty Board and Executive Committee, to set the agenda for the coming year. - Opening & Closing Ceremonies.

In 2019, the formula seemed to be wrapping in the concept of a full-blown convention setting called IDIC Con.

Obviously, upon my early arrival, I set upon trying to find out what happened. I spoke directly with members, hotel staff, and vendors. The overall picture seems to be that the previous CS was sold on the idea of kick-starting a brand new “mini comic-con” on our dime. Unfortunately, circumstances led to that being an outright failure and those involved stepped down, one by one, until the burden was too much for those remaining and the whole thing collapsed.

Roughly five weeks out from IC, Dan and I had no choice but to step up and take control of the rudderless ship and try to salvage what we could. I personally feel that without Dan’s personal leadership, we would be in far worse shape than we were. I can safely say that both of us lost a lot of sleep on this, in between working our full-time jobs and working phones and social media to turn things around.

In the course of setting this up, however, they booked nearly the entire ground floor of the hotel. Roughly 30k square feet of space was set aside for this event; far more space than was necessary. At the actual IC, we did our best to utilize the space, but we gave up about 40% of the rooms. And yes, that was money wasted as a result.

The measure of our success lays with those who attended. So far, the positive feedback outweighed the negative.

Lessons Learned

And let’s be clear that what I’m about to say is common sense. Hindsight being what it is, I’m sure that the adjustments we need to make are going to seem obvious.

- Improve Communication: IC teams/committees need to not be so passive with information. IC2018 was a great example of a team that kept up their regular reports, gave us a sense of confidence that the event was progressing and coming together nicely. I never once had a doubt about Minneapolis. On the opposite end, the EC should be reaching out more often for information. - Update Bid Guidelines: We need to do a comprehensive review of the current bid guide. This is already in progress, in discussion with some of the past successful IC chairs providing input on improvements. - Protect STARFLEET Financially: We’re looking into some legal and financial shields for STARFLEET, if this should ever happen again in spite of changes made. Right now, some of those ideas are in the earliest stages of formation, so I’ll refrain from commenting too much. But that leads me into the next point: - Improve Oversight: Many members came up to me and asked me about this, because it seems like this is a no-brainer. We should use the above to refine and improve our oversight of the IC. I feel that in updating the Bid Guidelines, we should cover this point as well.

Keep it Simple: Future administrations should be wary of any plans involving a brand new convention to be started alongside any IC. As I said above, ICs have a particular core value to the membership in terms of it being an annual party to celebrate our organization and highlight all the positives STARFLEET has achieved in the previous twelve (or so) months. Adding the stress of starting a new event on top of IC requires a lot more manpower than most IC committees have access to. Thusly, you get encumbered by the demands of ambition and the result is something along the lines of the failed IDIC Con. But, that failure is at the expense of the members’ dues. In my opinion, that was an unacceptable risk. The members are now paying for the pride and ego of IDIC Con’s concomm... and they all bailed out of the event with mere weeks to go before the first member touched down in St. Louis.

The final lesson is that we should also provide contingencies in case we have a full burnout of the IC team as we did this year. Some kind of response team that has been keeping tabs and stands ready to step in and take over with little to no notice. This response team should shadow their counterparts closely each step of the way, and perhaps also act as an alternate if/when it’s necessary to take on those duties when RL shifts attention away.

After having said all of the above, this begs an obvious question (that’s been asked already several times):

IC2020: But this is another convention, isn’t it?

Yes, it is. But, I feel that BayCon has a longevity that IDIC Con never had. Also, there’s a clear division of labor next year. BayCon’s staff will be tending to the convention side, while the STARFLEET team shall be tending to the IC side of the programming and event schedule. You won’t have to have the same group of people trying to manage an IC while at the same time trying to run a public convention.

Lastly, our buy-in will provide a salve to the hit being taken on by the General Fund this year. We’re being provided facilities and programming at next-to-no cost to the organization.

Pick up your memberships now! The $55 membership is only available until the end of August 2019: http://ic.sfi.org/2020reg

See you in San Francisco!

#starfleet #ic2019 #conference #international #startrek #star trek #ic2020 #convention #idic con

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saureus · 7 years ago

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Motorcycle Accident Lawyer Boise Idaho Call 208 343 7510

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#hepworth #holzer

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porcileorg · 4 years ago

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A conversation about Kunstverein München’s group show ‘Not Working – Artistic production and matters of class’ (2020-09-12 – 2020-11-01)

Conversants: The Bensplainer, Magda Wisniowska, and Victor Sternweiler [talking on Skype, in the evening of Nov 11, 2020.]

Victor: We should start our conversation about Kunstverein München’s show ‘Not Working – Artistic production and matters of class,’ [online through 2020-11-22] curated by Maurin Dietrich and Gloria Hasnay, while making clear that we were not able to attend the parallel program, consisting of tours, lectures, performances, and video screenings, which were partially screened online, and an extensive reader was published too. This will simply be a conversation about the actual show. One could claim that such a review can’t do justice to the whole project, but I claim that nobody was able to attend everything, except for the makers, so one can only have a fragmented take on it, and therefore it is legitimate to, mainly or solely, talk about the work installed in the space.

Exhibition consisted work by Angharad Williams, Annette Wehrmann, Gili Tal, Guillaume Maraud, Josef Kramhöller, Laura Ziegler and Stephan Janitzky, Lise Soskolne, Matt Hilvers, Stephen Willats.

A film screening series selected by Nadja Abt, showing work by Adrian Paci, Agnès Varda, Ayo Akingbade, Barbara Kopple, Berwick St Collective, Laura Poitras and Linda Goode Bryant, Max Göran.

A single event screening with films selected by Simon Lässig.

Accompanying program consisting of a book presentation (Düşler Ülkesi) by Cana Bilir-Meier (in conversation with Gürsoy Doğtaş), lectures by NewFutures, Ramaya Tegegne, Tirdad Zolghadr and a publication presentation (Phasenweise nicht produktiv) from a collaboration by Carolin Meunier and Maximiliane Baumgartner.

The reader containing contributions by Annette Wehrmann, Dung Tien Thi Phuong, Josef Kramhöller, Laura Ziegler and Stephan Janitzky, Leander Scholz, Lise Soskolne, Mahan Moalemi, Marina Vishmidt and Melanie Gilligan, Steven Warwick.

Exhibition documentation: https://artviewer.org/not-working-artistic-production-and-matters-of-class/

Magda: To help, I was rereading today the booklet accompanying the exhibition, although I don’t see how the text is really going to address what we see in the actual Kunstverein space. For example, I quote, “The works on view are characterized by a consciousness of how background, socialization, education, and artistic practice are inevitably entangled. They hence allow for a consideration of these categories in relation to the actual lived realities of their producers.” Does it mean that the artists somehow reflect their own social background? Autobiographically on their own lived reality? Well, by large, they don’t. We don’t know what social background these artists are coming from.

Victor: How would you know anyhow?

Magda: Instead, the coherency of the exhibition relies on going through all the positions which were outlined in the booklet’s introduction. So, Stephen Willats investigates the historical aspect of class, Annette Wehrmann performs the interrogation of the economic model, Josef Kramhöller’s is a more personal approach to consumerism, Gili Tal tackles gentrification and cosmopolitanism, and Angharad Williams addresses the performative and fashion , and so on. And at least two of the artists are no longer alive.

Victor: In the time of Covid, where you try to make ends meet, how can you say no? What I’m trying to say is that the precariousness of their class is testified also by artists not being able to nowadays refuse to participate in an exhibition in which they potentially don’t think they fit in. They do it, plain and simple.

The Bensplainer: I don’t think it is due to Covid. It’s a general trend. If you're invited by the artistic director of the Venice Biennale, whatever their exhibition idea is, you participate, as an artist. It’s not anymore the time when an Alighiero Boetti could angrily refuse an invitation by Harald Szeemann.

Magda: Is that really the central problem of this exhibition? There are a lot of problematic issues, and I am now again looking at the text, especially at the end, where it states that “today the question of class is not addressed anymore.” That is completely untrue. Much of postmodernism consisted precisely of the critical inquiry into questions of class. I don’t know about you, Bensplainer, but in my time in London we had to read a lot of Bourdieu, especially his idea concerning cultural capital.

The Bensplainer: Jameson was my lighthouse at that time!

Magda: It was a big thing! You can’t say really the topic had been ignored since then.

The Bensplainer: Especially after the last Documenta in 2017.

Magda: I acknowledge that the question of class is no longer about a white male perspective, defined by simple economics. But really? What does this exhibition add to this conversation?

The Bensplainer: I think that the main problem here is when you set up a thematic exhibition. If you, as a curator, have some aprioristic ideas about the specific interpretations on cultural work, then you tend to apply them to your own exhibition making. Although, you tend to lose contact with the works themselves. You tend to look more at the anecdotal parts of the work and at its processes. Let’s be honest, there are no great works in the exhibition, the ones being able to question your own vision of forms and of the world in which these forms happen.

Magda: I think the older works displayed here, as Stephen Willats’ ones, from the 1980s, present some problems: they are, in fact, historical, and at that time had a certain currency, whereas they seem today …

The Bensplainer: … nostalgic.

Magda: And dry as well: this kind of class idea, of people living in a housing block – like he documented and interviewed – it doesn’t seem relevant anymore. The other thing is that it seems so British, so entwined in that specific culture. We know this Monty Python sketch, right? This kind of satire, for example, wouldn’t fit German society at that time, I think.

youtube

Magda: The other thing I was thinking of, while walking through the exhibition, was Pulp’s ‘Common People.’ (1995) Did anyone think of that? The song is about a girl from the upper classes, who wants to behave as being from the lower. But she never achieves that, because she always has her rich daddy in the background. I think that a potential problem this exhibition faces is of glamorizing this kind of a working-class cliché.

youtube

Victor: That song is especially ironic, as it was brought to my attention by a friend that Danae Stratou, the artist, industrialist heir and wife of Yannis Varoufakis, is the subject of that song.

Magda: Yes, that’s why I mention it.

Victor: I had a chat with The Bensplainer at some point and we had concerns about the installing too. It seemed, we agreed, like an art fair show display. The question is: how do you display all these works like a survey of an idea?

Magda: It is about all the artistic positions that the text referred to. As I said before.

The Bensplainer: If you see such an exhibition, you might consider how it fits a piece of writing, it being a master or a PhD thesis. On the other hand, it really lacks the viewer’s possibility to freely interact with the works. In other terms: how could you translate an idea for an exhibition, if the exhibition itself follows a logocentric and rational process? There is no surprise, indeed: I wanna see something, I don’t wanna learn something.

Victor: This is a kind of philosophy made clear by the exhibition makers: what can art do and how it can utilize itself, in order to convey politics?

The Bensplainer: Do you mean how art can be utilitarian?

Victor: Let’s say you have a curatorial agenda, or an hypothesis: art-making as a precarious condition. And then you, as an exhibition maker, attempt to visualize that. In this sense, these works witness this very aspect, like art illustrating an intellectual point of view.

Magda: Otherwise said, either it is the work that is convincing, or the hypothesis. Right now, it doesn’t seem to be either. About the works I don’t wanna say much, but the text, its arguments can be easily dismantled. In many places, it is simply not coherent. For example, why do you state in the exhibition text that the coronavirus pandemic is what makes visible the rise of social inequalities the exhibition addresses, and then you show works from the 1980s? It makes no sense.

The Bensplainer: Works from the 1980s which recall works from the 1960s.

Magda: Exactly! If you were really consistent with your method, you would research the topic, then find out who’s working with it now. Not the artists who kind of work with the idea… just a little bit, so that they can fit your curatorial idea.

Victor: On the behalf of the curators: why should you do a show like that? What are their motivations?

Magda: Of course, you can do a show addressing the notion of class. There’s nothing wrong about that. Even if it were an illustration of ideas, it could work. But you need a good thesis first, while here the positions that are supposed to illustrate it, are weak. Who liked Laura Ziegler and Stephan Janitzky’s installations?

Victor: As a person who attended some performances by Ziegler and Janitzky previous to the KM show, but not to the last one actually at KM, I would say I see their sculptures as stage props. These performances enchanted or activated their sculptures. So, I’m quite neutral about their works in the show, but at the same time I’m neutral about all the works featured. It seems to me that the show has an agenda in representing all kinds of mediums. Photography, video … like a checklist.

The Bensplainer: Maybe old-fashioned?

Magda: It is a safe agenda. If you take Mark Fisher’s ‘Capitalist Realism,’ he states that museums and related institutions are safe spaces where we can make criticism of capitalism, while capitalism itself allows it.

Victor: Yeah, Roland Barthes already said that. On my part, I am totally opposed to the idea of ‘making art’ as a profession, in the capitalist sense. When paying your rent depends on the money from selling your art, then soon you’ll be under pressure to produce, and that in return, I think, ultimately leads to overproduction and junk.

Magda: Then we ought to know more about the artists and how they position themselves to the capitalist model.

The Bensplainer: I think we are derailing the conversation. I mean, after 1989, there is only one religion, which is capitalism, and you hardly can escape this fact (I agree with Giorgio Agamben on this). Insisting on this leftist nostalgia is counterproductive. Art is luxury. Some artists are fighting against this mindset, but we are still in such a system.

Magda: Indeed – and yet the exhibition promotes an anti-capitalist position. For example, The Coop Fund’s aim is to provide an alternative funding, so that is very clear. Guillaume Maraud is also doing a standard institutional critique by creating an alternative fund.

The Bensplainer: At the same time, these practices are canonized. When KM showed Andrea Fraser in 1993, the questions she raised were novel and on the point. The visuals in this present show are canonized. Stephen Willats repeats a visual language of more established artists, as Hans Haacke for instance.

Magda: Yes, maybe the only thing Willats adds is a British perspective on the problem.

The Bensplainer: Victor, you said on the occasion of our NS-Dokumentationszentrum conversation [link]: „Preaching to the converted.“ Basically, we find here the same pattern. So, you can argue with a lot of reasoning about a motivation for an exhibition – in this case an anti-capitalist agenda – but what I expect is to see works and practices which change the way I see. Sorry if I repeat myself, but seeing works which repeat, without a difference, canonized visual experiences from the past gives me such a kind of déjà vu effect. What is this exhibition about? What are the politics that motivated it? From the point of view of the exhibition making, it is in itself a sort of repetition. In the last Documenta, the assumptions were similar: a lot of nostalgic Marxism and related leftist theoretical positions, which are good, but at the end of the day, the works become an illustration sketched aprioristically by the curators and the artistic director. Here lays the critical point which we really have to address. Paradoxically, if the works are repeating themselves, aren’t also the politics of exhibition making repeating themselves?

Magda: Yes and no. My question is: why are you repeating these positions? You can repeat a practice under the change of circumstances: the pandemic has changed the parameters.

The Bensplainer: I agree: the pandemic has unveiled changes which were not so clear before that.

Magda: So, does the repetition offered in this exhibition reflect that? Does our present context require repetition? How are the works from the 1980s and 1990s relevant now?

The Bensplainer: Let’s be clear: I don’t consider repetition with a negative value. I remember a wonderful group show at KW, Berlin, in 2007, titled ‘History Will Repeat Itself.’ Precisely, it was interesting because it focused on repetition as a visual device, that’s to say how artists and works dealt with the notion of repetition, be it of other works or of overarching experiences. I remember this great video by Jeremy Deller, ‘The Battle of Orgreave’ (2001), directed by Mike Figgis, in which the artist reenacted the famous 1984 clash between workers and police in Orgreave, South Yorkshire, England, and interviewed some participants from both sides too. By the way, it was a ground breaking show, but if you now repeat because it is fashion, a canon, then repeating loses its critical charge. Moreover, works become simply an illustration of the curator’s idea. It seems to me so frustrating now, especially when Anton Vidokle already addressed the question in his seminal and controversial article ‘Art Without Artists?’ on e-flux already in 2010. [link]

Victor: Yeah, that’s what I find problematic with this show: in this time of existential precariousness, how can an artist be critical or be able to question the politics of an exhibition? You’re invited, you get attention and funds, you simply go along with it. The institutions are creating ideological precariousness by wagging with the money. Nonetheless, I see that an artist needs the money. I think it is an inherent issue of institutional exhibition making, but I can’t see an immediate way out of it. It is a trap. The people in the institutions are also paid to play their role, and if they refuse to, replacement will be found quickly.

The Bensplainer: I don’t think that it is the main point here.

Magda: I recognize that there are many artists that suffer contemporary financial precariousness, but there are equally many who do not. Let’s be honest, how many artists, or student artists, may claim that they are coming from working class families? I mean, many are playing the role, but really?

The Bensplainer: I have to check it again, but there is a statistic in Bavaria that states that families on the edge of or below existential and financial poverty who are able to send their kids to higher education are 6 or 7%. That’s a ridiculous percentage, especially because these underprivileged students or artists have then a structural difficulty in order to enter the so-called art system.

Magda: Mid- or upper-class people study art. They come from that comfortable background. At any given time, they may or may not have money, but they indeed have a safety net.

Victor: People that I talked to were missing a critical view on the institution itself and how this show sits within its history and why they did the show there, since the Kunstverein was developed specifically to cultivate an image and space for the bourgeoisie, the middle class, by propagating aesthetic values from the upper class. It was the beginning of the ‘public sphere’ separate from the court, but also was the image of upward mobility and how its members today, generally upper middle class, use the space as a form of patronage and charity as an additive to their cultural capital. So, one might interpret this show as cynical, but I personally think that there is also the possibility of freeing yourself up from that tradition and subverting or bastardizing that project of that middle class of 200 years ago. However, I think that the show is too conventional and there is an opportunity missed here.

The Bensplainer: Sorry if I always bring up my PhD topic about the Russian so-called Avant-Garde. If you analyze it socially, the Avant-Garde cloud was also animated by class and social warfare. Practitioners from the periphery came to the capitals, Moscow and St. Petersburg, and they had to fight with their contemporaries belonging to the urban mid- or upper-class world. For instance, you have Malevich who needs to rent a big apartment for him and his family, in order to sub-let and make a little profit from other people. But he also has to provide meals for them and he can paint only when he has some spare time. You still have today this romantic idea of the Avant-Garde, forgetting that it was also a very hard social situation.

Magda: But, the thing is that the economic or even its symbolic model, doesn’t seem to be really relevant. Class as it was in the 1970s, 1980s or even 1990s doesn’t exist anymore. What about class and technology? You can’t apply for jobs because you don’t have easy access to the Internet, because you don’t own a laptop or a smartphone. You can’t have a flat because you don’t get the notification on time. And flexibility changed the notion of work. There are a lot of structural changes in our societies, which the show’s accompanying text acknowledges clearly, but they are not examined in the work, or at least only in the orthodox leftist way. These positions are repeated nostalgically in the art. To me, the working class today is exemplified by DHL delivery workers.

The Bensplainer: I would add this. Today's working class might also be embodied by wannabe successful TikTok accounts! You may immediately perceive the fakeness in appropriating models from the supposed upper class in order to convey a different idea about yourself.

Magda: Fake it until you make it! TikTok responds to an already established model.

The Bensplainer: The novel level conveyed by TikTok is that it is not about hustling or conning anymore. Everybody knows everything is fake, so everybody accepts the coded rules.

Victor: That’s the classic definition of Žižek’s ‘ideology.’

Magda: Coming back to the show, I was surprised that urgent political issues were not questioned. I mean, the rise of populism is an issue, and it is class oriented. I don’t know much about Berlusconi and his years in power, but he did address the narrative of his politics to a certain class and set up a model for the recent years, didn’t he?

The Bensplainer: We Italians are not recognized in such a way anymore, but we’re still at the verge of the Avant-Garde! If history repeats itself as a farce, after Berlusconi everything is a farce. He had – and to some extent still has – an appeal to the working class, in the sense that he sold a narrative through which you can change your life only by willing it. At his first election run in 1994 he won in working class’ bastions, where traditionally the former Communist Party won with ease, efficiently selling his abstract ideas on liberty through his glittering television sets. So, already then, you might perceive that categories such as the Left and the Right were structurally changing. And this historical and epochal shift, so charged with ideological questions, is totally forgotten in this exhibition.

Magda: Thus, I could have accepted as legitimate the exhibition’s assumptions, even if illustrational, if they would have addressed the ongoing complexity of the topic of populism, digitalization, 0-hours contracts, and so on, all related to an idea of the working class. Then it would have been fair enough!

The Bensplainer: I would add another topic to this. If you consider the state of satire, especially from the US, comedy is way ahead of visual art. It addresses those topics in a much more effective and creative way than visual art is actually doing. Only because they’re really reaching millions of people.

Magda: Yes, John Oliver, for instance.

The Bensplainer: I became a huge fan of Jimmy Kimmel’s late-night monologues in the last two years, because he and his authors adapted his style of comedy shifting from weird Hollywood absurdities to overall US social and political issues. So, his and his authors’ craft reached a new level of satire, and the audience’s awareness. What can visual art do, as powerful as it might be, in comparison to mainstream satire? Let’s simply think about how Kimmel dealt with the topic Obamacare and how he related to – his personal history.

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Magda: This is important, as access to healthcare in the US especially, is a class issue. But then, yeah, why don’t you simply invite a comedian to KM, then? Ok, you could never afford that, but who knows?

The Bensplainer: It would be so wonderful! But this idea should also be declined in a weirder approach.

Magda: For sure, a comedian in an art space could have more freedom compared to the one he could have on national television.

The Bensplainer: Victor, do you remember Olof Olsson’s performance at Lothringer 13’s cafe in Munich in 2017?

Victor: Yes.

The Bensplainer I found it brilliant, mixing visual and comedy devices, and very generous, because it lasted so long! This kind of transdisciplinary performance says more about social, political and economic issues, than a conventional show, like this one at KM. If I had to make a single critical statement about this show at KM is that it doesn’t move our present cultural perception to a different plane, as satire does.

Magda: My impression is that a student went through their assigned reading list, without going to the library. Everything which was required was read, but no insight was then further researched.

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healthyworthyofficial · 5 years ago

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Leftover Corned Beef Low-Carb Reuben Bake (Video)

posted by Kalyn Denny on March 16, 2020 Leftover Corned Beef Low-Carb Reuben Bake is a scrumptious manner to make use of leftover corned beef, however you can even purchase corned beef on the deli to make this casserole that has all of the flavors of reuben sandwiches, with out the carbs. PIN Leftover Corned Beef Reuben Bake to make it later! Watch the video to see should you would possibly wish to make Leftover Corned Beef Low-Carb Reuben Bake!

I like St. Patrick’s Day, and yearly I attempt to encourage individuals to prepare dinner corned beef and cabbage, which go on sale for this vacation within the U.S. And whether or not you make my tried-and-true Slow Cooker Corned Beef or Instant Pot Corned Beef with Creamy Horseradish Sauce, I actually hope you’ll prepare dinner some corned beef for the vacation. And in fact I’ve already advisable Roasted Cabbage with Lemon as the proper aspect dish for corned beef. And should you’re fortunate sufficient to have corned beef leftovers, I hope you’ll make this superb Leftover Corned Beef Low-Carb Reuben Bake. But even should you don’t make corned beef (or don’t get any leftovers!) you should buy corned beef on the deli and make this low-carb casserole with layers of mashed cauliflower, cabbage, corned beef, Swiss cheese, and Thousand Island dressing. If you’re a fan of the Reuben Sandwich, you’ll acknowledge a few of these components and notice how this casserole obtained its title. This is a recipe I got here up with a number of years in the past after I noticed a Reuben Bake from My Recipes (most likely on Pinterest!) I spotted I might change out the potatoes for tacky cauliflower (and use low-sugar Thousand Island dressing) and make this right into a scrumptious low carb dish. It took me a few tries to get the recipe and images how I wished them, however when Kara and I examined this remaining model we wolfed it up. And I’m hoping I don’t sound like I’m fully missing in modesty if I say it is a full winner for a manner to make use of leftover corned beef; take pleasure in!

How to Make Leftover Corned Beef Low-Carb Reuben Bake:

(Scroll down for full printable recipe, together with dietary data.) Chop up a head of cauliflower and prepare dinner in boiling salted water. Drain cauliflower at the very least 5 minutes, then use an Immersion Blender (affiliate hyperlink) or hand beater to puree the cauliflower with the bitter cream. Stir in grated Swiss cheese and inexperienced onions. Slice up cabbage, shred corned beef aside after which chop, and measure out the Thousand Island dressing. Heat olive oil in frying pan and saute the cabbage (seasoned with salt, pepper, and a bit of caraway seed.) When cabbage is beginning to wilt, add corned beef and prepare dinner 1-2 minutes extra. Let cool for a couple of minutes after which stir within the Thousand Island Dressing. I used a deep casserole dish so you may see the layers, however any glass or crockery casserole dish that’s not too small will work. Make a layer with half the mashed cauliflower within the backside of the dish. Put the cabbage/corned beef combination over that and high with grated Swiss Cheese. Then make one other layer of mashed cauliflower, spreading it round. Top with one other layer of grated Swiss Cheese. Bake at 375F/190C about 45 minutes, or till it’s effervescent sizzling and the highest is beginning to brown. Serve sizzling.

I promise this can be a success with anybody who likes corned beef, even when they don’t care about low-carb consuming.

More Tasty Low-Carb Ideas with Corned Beef:

Low-Carb and Keto Corned Beef Recipes ~ Kalyn’s Kitchen Low-Carb Fried Cabbage with Corned Beef ~ Kalyn’s Kitchen Leftover Corned Beef Soup with Sauerkraut and Tomatoes ~ Kalyn’s Kitchen

Weekend Food Prep:

This recipe has been added to a brand new class referred to as Weekend Food Prep that can assist you discover recipes you'll be able to prep or prepare dinner on the weekend and eat through the week! Ingredients 1 massive head cauliflower 1/Three cup bitter cream 2 cups grated Swiss cheese (divided) half of cup sliced inexperienced onion salt and fresh-ground black pepper to style 1 medium head inexperienced cabbage 2 tsp. olive oil half of tsp. caraway seeds (non-compulsory) 2 cups leftover corned beef, shredded after which chopped into bite-sized items half of cup Thousand Island Dressing (see notes) Instructions Preheat the oven to 375F/190C. Fill a pot half fill with water, add a bit of salt and produce to a boil. While the water heats, trim away the leaves from the cauliflower, preserving the stems; then coarsely chop cauliflower. When the water is almost boiling, add the cauliflower, flip warmth to medium, and prepare dinner the cauliflower 10-11 minutes or till it’s barely beginning to get tender. (Don’t overcook or the mashed cauliflower can be mushy.) Dump cauliflower right into a colander positioned within the sink and let it drain at the very least 5 minutes so it’s not moist. Put cooked cauliflower again into the pan you cooked it in, add the bitter cream, and use an Immersion Blender (affiliate hyperlink) or Hand Mixer (affiliate hyperlink) to puree the cauliflower. (Don’t over mix; I stored it barely chunky. Remember it’s going to prepare dinner extra within the oven.) Mix within the cup of grated Swiss Cheese and the inexperienced onions. Remove any wilted outer leaves of cabbage, minimize the cabbage into quarters, and minimize away and discard the core. Then slice cabbage about 3/Eight inch thick. Shred the corned beef aside into strips and chop to make bite-sized items. Heat the olive oil over medium-high warmth in a big non-stick frying pan (I used my favourite Green Pan (affiliate hyperlink) to prepare dinner the cabbage.) When the oil is sizzling, add the cabbage, flip warmth to medium, and saute the cabbage, seasoning with salt, pepper, and a bit of caraway seed if utilizing. Cook about four minutes, or till it's beginning to barely brown on some edges. Add the corned beef and prepare dinner 1-2 minutes extra. Turn off warmth and let the pan calm down for a minute or two, then stir within the Thousand Island dressing. Spray a big casserole dish with non-stick spray or olive oil. (The dish I made this in was about 9″ x 12″.) Put half the mashed cauliflower into the dish and unfold right into a flat layer. Put the cabbage-corned beef combination on high of the layer of cauliflower and sprinkle with 3/four cup grated Swiss cheese. Spread the remainder of the mashed cauliflower in a layer on high of that, and sprinkle the cauliflower with one other 3/four cup grated cheese. Bake uncovered for about 45 minutes, or till the combination is effervescent sizzling and the cheese is beginning to evenly brown on high. Serve sizzling. Nutrition Information: Yield: 8 Serving Size: 1 Amount Per Serving: Calories: 291Total Fat: 20gSaturated Fat: 8gUnsaturated Fat: 10gCholesterol: 61mgSodium: 274mgCarbohydrates: 10gFiber: 3gSugar: 6gProtein: 18g Nutrition data is mechanically calculated by the Recipe Plug-In I'm utilizing. I'm not a nutritionist and can't assure 100% accuracy, since many variables have an effect on these calculations.

Low-Carb Diet / Low-Glycemic Diet / Low-Carb Diet Suggestions: For low-carb diets, it’s necessary to search for Thousand Island Dressing that doesn’t comprise a variety of sugar to make Leftover Corned Beef Low-Carb Reuben Bake. (I used Litehouse Thousand Island Dressing with Three carbs per tablespoon.) Corned beef isn’t actually advisable for the South Beach Diet as a result of quantity of fats, so it is a once-in-a-while deal with for South Beach Dieters however I’d actually make it for St. Patrick’s Day leftovers in case you have some. South Beach would additionally advocate utilizing mild bitter cream and reduced-fat Swiss cheese if yow will discover it. Find More Recipes Like This One: Use Casserole Recipes to search out extra recipes like this one. Use the Recipes by Diet Type picture index pages to search out extra recipes appropriate for a particular consuming plan. You may additionally wish to Follow Kalyn’s Kitchen on Pinterest to see all the great recipes I’m sharing there.

posted by Kalyn Denny on March 16, 2020 Don’t Miss a Recipe! subscribe to obtain new recipes through e mail: We are a participant within the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate promoting program designed to supply a way for us to earn charges by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated websites. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Source link Read the full article

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theworstbob · 7 years ago

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yellin’ at songs: week 31

brief reviews of the songs that debuted on the 8.9.1997, 8.11.2007, and 8.12.2017 editions of the billboard hot 100

8.9.1997

10) "Never Make a Promise," by Dru Hill

See, the thing about this R&B song in which a person makes an eternal promise that separates it from all the other dozens I've heard in the past couple of weeks is, goddamnit I was really hoping I would come up with a joke by the time I got to the conjunction, I figured, y'know, I'd get the ball rolling, get some momentum, y'know? If I started saying words in the cadence of a joke, I would get with the program and sort of involuntarily make a joke. I see now the folly in my ways. I should've been better prepared for 1997. I knew milquetoast R&B was in store. I dropped the ball on this one, and dropped it in such a way that it did not start rolling, to tie it back to a metaphor from earlier. I promise to do better. And uh, fun fact about me, I never make a promise I won't keep.

87) "Down for Yours," by Nastyboy Klick ft./Roger Troutman

Pitch the Auto-tune a little lower, put in a few of those drums what sound like a dude roiling his rs to imitate a machine gun, and this is a perfectly acceptable 2017 pop/rap song. I just wanna real quick address something: I know I said last week that every 1997 rapper, short Magoo, was better than the best 2017 rapper, but I was speaking in terms of pop/rap. Like, if you only go by what charted, which is a mistake for so... so many reasons, 1997 rap is better? But once -- I mean, the Kendrick and Jay albums were fire, but more importantly, you've got folks like Vince Staples and Brother Ali and Joey Bada$$ and Lupe Fiasco and SZA making awesome, challenging works that aren't gonna chart. These charts are at once a sample of music history and the poorest imaginable representation of music history. Anyhoo, I don't know what previously held the title of 'most innocuous song to throw Bob into an existential tailspin over the general utility of the YAS project,' but it belongs to this dumb sack of song now!

90) "Never, Never Gonna Give You Up," by Lisa Stansfield

Hey: if nothing else, clicking on this edition of YAS 7s should give you a fun and cool new way to Rickroll your friends. Add a meta layer to your Rickroll game. I know this isn't actually a comment on the song, because how could anyone be aware of memes in 1997? All these songs predate Hamsterdance. Someone should have told Lisa Stansfield there was already a song called this, though. Anyhoo, I'm not actually talking about these songs at all. They're boring! This is probably the most okay song so far, but I'm putting it out of my mind to think about a boring meme about a boring song.

92) "Drink, Swear, Steal, & Lie" by Michael Peterson

aw this guy's just a big ol' dork. i love him! ii love his dork ass song about how in love with his girl he is. this song has one joke and it's still a vastly more complex and well-written song than any pi[50,000 word treatise on bro country redacted]anyway, this dude's great. like, i'm a pop/punk main, y'know? i love dorky and earnest jams. this hits that button squarely, y'all. i'm so into this.

only publishing the 1997 top 20 because changes happen with the other two and i value consistency

20) "Step by Step," by Whitney Houston (3.15) 19) "Can We," by SWV ft./Missy Elliott (8.2) 18) "On and On," by Erykah Badu (1.25) 17) "I Want You," by Savage Garden (3.1) 16) "It Must Be Love," by Robin S. (5.24) 15) "Smokin' Me Out," by Warren G ft./Ronald Isley (6.21) 14) "Fix," by BLACKstreet ft./Ol' Dirty Bastard (8.2) 13) "Silent All These Years," by Tori Amos (3.22) 12) "What They Do," by The Roots (1.11) 11) "Step Into a World (Rapture's Delight)," by KRS-One (4.5) 10) "I'm Not Feeling You," by Yvette Michele (2.22) 9) "Bill," by Peggy Scott-Adams (3.29) 8) "Just Another Case," by CRU ft./Slick Rick (7.5) 7) "I'll Be," by Foxy Brown ft./Jay-Z (2.15) 6) "Felton St.," Leschea (6.14) 5) "Bitch," by Meredith Brooks (4.26) 4) "Mo Money, Mo Problems," by The Notorious B.I.G. ft./Puff Daddy & Mase (8.2) 3) "Return of the Mack," by Mark Morrison (3.1) 2) "Hypnotize," by The Notorious B.I.G. (4.26) 1) "Not Tonight (Ladies' Night Remix)," by Lil Kim ft./Angie Martinez, Left Eye, Da Brat & Missy Elliott (7.12)

8.11.2007

47) "Stronger," Kanye West

Graduation is such a goofy album because it has three of the best Kanye singles of all time, including what, let's be real, probably ends up as the best song from 2007, but it's also Kanye's worst and least interesting album. It's Kanye at a crossroads, stuck between being the pop/rap god and the morose Auto-tune sadlord who makes 808s and MBDTF. This song actually finds Kanye at the perfect point in the crossroads. He's still making a towering achievement for the mainstream, but he's breaking out of being chop up the soul Kanye, moving into electronic territory, developing his sound into that direction in a way that doesn't quite sound like MBDTF but sounds like the first step on that road. It'd be a bold experiment if it didn't absolutely work, and this is an amazing song by any objective measure.

65) "Cyclone," Baby Bash ft./T-Pain

Man maybe I just haven't noticed it yet or maybe I'm just coming down from the "Stronger" high, but I forgot how horrible the generic crunk beat was to listen to. It hasn't been quite so prevalent, but heck whoever gave this dude the Lil Jon MP3s. I will say that T-Pain making noises to describe what it feels like when a woman dips it low is the tiniest little miracle of a thing, but boy, is my life not better with this song in it. OK I just got to the part where T-Pain makes that noise three times in a row, this song is an achievement in Western art and culture and the world is saved.

83) "Love Me if You Can," Toby Keith

who the fuck listens to toby keith for the ballads like who is this for who thinks of this song when they think of toby keith no legit dude just make dumbass party jams i don't get why this would ever need to exist

84) "Take Me There," Rascal Flatts

Like legit why would you give "Love Me if You Can" to Toby Keith when Rascal Flatts is literally right there. Songs like "Love Me if You Can" and this treacly pile of love song are why you made Rascal Flatts in the first place. I also enjoy the twist this puts on The Country Song. I don't think anyone ever came to Rascal Flatts for Authentic Country Music, so them saying they want the girl to take them to Main Street and the backroads is actually kinda sweet. Like, they're not posturing, they're saying, "Yeah, we're clearly city softboys, but we wanna see the small town blue jean nights that made my girl." Rascal Flatts: generally inoffensive yet again! They just keep comin'!

89) "Proud of the House We Built," Brooks & Dunn

I like this song because it reminded me of The Wonder Years' "Teenage Parents," and I appreciate the opportunity to think about The Wonder Years. I dunno, country hasn't really been problematic this week! This song is almost good! It's just a nice look back on life. "Yeah, it kinda sucked, butcha know what, we made it." Maybe it could've acknowledged that the tough times sucked instead of looking back smiling and saying, "I wouldn't have it any other way?" Hard times suck, dude. I know you haven't heard that Paramore jam yet, but hard times suck and you shouldn't idealize them. Especially when, you know, you're a millionaire, and people who are actually going through hard times are listening to you and saying, "Welp, guess this is my station in life!" Hey Bob you're going on a treatise on the sociological implications of bro country, and you are actually unable to write that. Please write about JoBros.

92) "Hold On," Jonas Brothers

What a week for songs named after far more notable '80s jams! (Actually Wilson Phillips w)I LOOKED IT UP AND DECIDED I DIDN'T CARE anyway did anyone else forget that Jonas Brothers are like legit songwriters? Like, this is definitely as good as any Simple Plan song, and Simple Plan was like a decade older than these kids. Does Simple Plan make good music? That's beside the point, which is that Jonas Brothers was never garbage. They were always making highly enjoyable pop/rock songs for the whole family, and they were capable of making these songs from an extraordinarily young age. We could've done worse, is what I'm trying to get at. Like, we had it pretty got dang good with the JoBros, friends! There's a world where JoBros fades into semi-obscurity and makes highly enjoyable Christian rock with Hanson, and also no one ever makes "Jealous," and that's a pretty OK alternate reality, that one.

100) "Hood Nigga," Gorilla Zoe

The most optimistic sentence on Wikipedia is, "This is Gorilla Zoe's only top 40 hit on that chart, to date." This song ain't bad! It would've been a fine #1 in some of those weeks where the best song was like "Do it Just Like a Rock Star." He has this really fun and gruff voice, maybe a little laconic but certainly pleasant to put in the ears, the beat is, as the kids might have said in 2007, knockin', and we have certainly heard worse things! Also the radio edit replaces N with F and of all the letters to replace the N, F is easily the funniest, because now this song is about a dude who can't get enough figs in his life. Fuck Cristal, this dude's got a Fig Newton cabinet.

New #1 hype! 20) "Lip Gloss," by Lil Mama (6.9.2007) 19) "Stolen," by Dashboard Confessional (4.21.2007) 18) "Beautiful Liar," by Beyonce & Shakira (3.31.2007) 17) "Cupid's Chokehold," by Gym Class Heroes ft./Patrick Stump (1.13.2007) 16) "The River," by Good Charlotte ft./M. Shadows & Synyster Gates (2.10.2007) 15) "Say OK," by Vanessa Hudgens (2.17.2007) 14) "Alyssa Lies," by Jason Michael Carroll (1.13.2007) 13) "Never Again," by Kelly Clarkson (5.12.2007) 12) "Can't Tell Me Nothing," by Kanye West (6.16.2007) 11) "Get Buck," by Young Buck (4.14.2007) 10) "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going," by Jennifer Hudson (1.13.2007) 9) "Thnks fr th Mmrs," by Fall Out Boy (4.28.2007) 8) "Candyman," by Christina Aguilera (1.13.2007) 7) "Misery Business," by Paramore (7.21.2007) 6) "Because of You," by Ne-Yo (3.17.2007) 5) "Umbrella," by Rihanna ft./Jay-Z (4.28.2007) 4) "Beautiful Flower," by India.Arie (6.16.2007) 3) "Dashboard," by Modest Mouse (2.17.2007) 2) "The Story," by Brandi Carlile (4.28.2007) 1) "Stronger," by Kanye West (8.11.2007) Hey guess what the alt-country song doesn’t end up being Record of the Year 2017. Also I made a minor adjustment to #20 because Lil Mama is going to stay around as long as I feel I cannot bop her in good conscience.

8.12.2017

40) "Back to You," by Louis Tomlinson ft./Bebe Rexha & Digital Farm Animals

Huh, well, I think I mind this the least of all the One Direction side projects! I'm down for a duet, even if this is just a little too low-key to ever attain Iconic Duet status -- drunk folks and karaoke wanna shout about love, and while I'm sure they'll appreciate the "you fuck me... up" phrasing, you're not giving them a lot to work wth. I've never minded Bebe Rexha as little as I do here, and just like in his boyhood, Louis Tomlinson doesn't do anything to ruin everything. This was passable. I wouldn't mind hearing this again, I wouldn't mind if a thousand lives were lived before I heard it again.

61) "What's My Name," by China Anne McClain 81) "It's Goin' Down," Descendants 2 Cast

Listen. Am I upset that this young woman's villain song does not in any way hearken back to "Poor Unfortunate Souls" in any way? Of course. Am I 15 years aged out of the target market for this song? I mean fucking obviously, I knew we'd be treading in these waters eventually. These are fine generic pop songs, the only true flaw in any being the fact someone looked at purple-haired girl and said, "She should be in a rap battle. I think she could convincingly hold her own in a rap battle," like I'm sorry sweetie you have an abundance of other talents and zero bars. It's charming. It's charming! Listen. Am I ready for China Anne McClain to rule the world for five yet-to-be-determined years in the future? Yes. Do I love Captain Hook's gay son? I LOVE CAPTAIN HOOK'S GAY SON

77) "Issues," by Meek Mill 79) "Wins & Losses," by Meek Mill 83) "1942 Flows," by Meek Mill 96) "We Ball," by Meek Mill ft./Young Thug 97) "Fuck That Check Up," by Meek Mill ft./Lil Uzi Vert 99) "Heavy Heart," by Meek Mill

So if I'm rating the theme weeks of 2017: 1) Kendrick Week 2) Jay-Z Week 3) Future Week 4) Meek Mill Week 5) Migos Week 6) Ed Sheeran Week 7) Big Sean Week 8) Drake Week 9) Bryson Tiller Week I was honestly surprised by how much I enjoyed these songs. Like, I'm actually adding the Meek Mill album to the library for future listening. "1942 Flows" and "Wins & Losses" are legit, they're engaging songs and Meek Mill brings passion to them, and maybe I'm just unfamiliar with the rest of Meek Mill's catalogue, but I honestly didn't expect to be involved in these songs. This seems like a fine album with which to kill a summer bus ride or two. Like, I can't remember the last time I heard a song with a Young Thug feature where I wasn't paying more attention to what Young Thug was doing. Meek Mill did fine work. (Worth noting: Wins & Losses is 15 minutes longer than DAMN., and I am curious what makes Meek Mill think he has 15 minutes' more of worthwhile thought than Kendrick.)

91) "Imitadora," by Romeo Santos

It was "Heroe Favorito," right, where I said I might enjoy Romeo Santos' whole thing on another day, when I was ready to accept him into my life? WELL HOT DIGGITY, Y'ALL, 'CUZ TODAY'S THAT DAY. I love his breathy falsetto thing over this song way more, it just fits. I'm also in love with this track, this gentle Latin guitar with occasional blasts of indie platformer main menu music. I don't know a better term to express what I mean because I'm bad at music, but these synth blasts play in the intro and outro and occasionally come back and they just take this track to another level. This is just phenomenal work from someone I now understand to be a veteran in the scene from the past seven months of limited engagement with the world of Latin pop.

I changed the top of the 2017 Top 20 again. 20) "Bodak Yellow," by Cardi B (7.22) 19) "Woman," by Kesha ft./The Dap-Kings Horns (8.5) 18) "Smile," by Jay-Z ft./Gloria Carter (7.29) 17) "Love Galore," by SZA ft./Travis Scott (7.1) 16) "Bad Liar," by Selena Gomez (6.3) 15) "DNA." by Kendrick Lamar (5.6) 14) "It Ain't Me," by Kygo x Selena Gomez (3.4) 13) "Craving You," by Thomas Rhett ft./Maren Morris (4.22) 12) "That's What I Like," by Bruno Mars (3.4) 11) "Chanel," by Frank Ocean ft./A$AP Rocky (4.1) 10) "Strangers," by Halsey ft./Lauren Jauregui (6.17) 9) "Either Way," by Chris Stapleton (5.27) 8) "Run Up," by Major Lazer ft./PARTYNEXTDOOR & Nicki Minaj (2.18) 7) "Imitadora," by Romeo Santos (8.12) 6) "Green Light," by Lorde (3.18) 5) "Hard Times," by Paramore (5.13) 4) "ELEMENT." by Kendrick Lamar (5.6) 3) "Despacito," by Luis Fonsi ft./Daddy Yankee (2.4) 2) "iSpy," by KYLE ft./Lil Yachty (1.14) 1) "Issues," by Julia Michaels (2.11) Like #1 should be a mix of Most Impactful Song and Song I Enjoyed Most, and maybe #1 justifiably belongs to “Despacito” given how great that is, I’m still getting a lot of mileage out of “Issues,” and honestly as long as I’m not keeping up this silly idea that a song that was #90 for one week is the most iconic song of the year this useless list has at least some utility. Shoutout to the true heroes Paramore, though. And also Major Lazer, PARTYNEXTDOOR, and Nicki Minaj. I will never fucking forget you guys.

Who won the week?

2017 actually put up a rather strong fight, but there was no way Meek Mill and the Descendants 2 soundtrack were going to take down “Stronger,” even when it was being weighed down with Toby Keith. 2007 had a couple strong punches, and it was more than able to notch another point. 2017: 11 1997: 11 2007: 9 In next week’s post, we get to listen to Spice Girls AND Billy Joel, 2007 gives us Luke Bryan AND Robin Thicke, and I don’t know what fresh hell 2017 has in store but evidently Tay Tay collaborated with B.O.B. at some point in the recent past and it’s gonna be real fun to deal with B.O.B. the popular musician should it come to that. What an unproblematic and unremarkable artist who has precisely zero bad opinions which he expresses loudly!

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one-of-us-blog · 7 years ago

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Sick and Tired: Part 1 (TGG, Season 5, Episode 1)

Today Eli is forced to watch and recap Sick and Tired: Part 1, the Season 5 premiere of The Golden Girls. We’re kicking off a brand new season with a story penned by the show’s creator! Dorothy has been feeling under the weather for months and is desperate for a solution, while Blanche decides to pursue a new following in life. Will each of the gals get what she’s after? Keep reading to find out…

Jon, I’m not only happy that you enjoyed The Crimson Horror and did such a fantastic job of reviewing it, but I’m thrilled that you seem to have a major windfall coming from that Japanese buyer! I forgot to mention it last time, but I should have a big payday coming my way soon as well! You see, I returned from the pocket dimension with a large selection of gems that I had recovered from the old mansion; I had attempted to utilize these to find my way home before you pointed me to the appropriate magic crystal. Yesterday, I was all set to sell these priceless jewels and retire comfortably, when I was approached by the head of one of those start-up space companies! At least, I assume that’s who she was, because this lady had a plan to put a rocket into the cosmos, and she wanted to offer me a once-in-a-lifetime investment opportunity! She showed me her blueprints, and when I asked why the rocket was labeled VENOM, she explained that this was simply an acronym for “Very Expensive NASA Operating Materials” that needed to get into space right away, and that I shouldn’t at all interpret the project as a method of raining a deadly toxin upon the world’s population. That was a relief! Anyway, I gave her all of my wealth, and I expect to receive quite the return on my investment just as soon as the rocket launches. We’ll be buying that One of Us! compound in no time! Anyway, I’ve rambled on quite enough, so let me get started on my own recap. Let’s head to Miami!

Buttocks tight!

Episode written by Susan Harris, directed by Terry Hughes

Blanche has an idea. Ever since she was a little girl nicknamed “Peacock” by her mother, Blanche has known that she was destined for greatness, and now she knows the path that she must take. Blanche is determined that she will become one of the great romantic novelists, in the tradition of Southern writers like…well, you know, all of those famous authors. Meanwhile, Dorothy has returned home in a bad mood, and it’s obvious that she is exhausted. She has been struggling with the “flu” for months, and today found herself too tired to even speak in front of her class. The girls tell her that she may not have the flu after all, and urge her to see another doctor. She is convinced to see a specialist, while Blanche continues to ponder the possibilities of her novel.

Dorothy visits a doctor (portrayed by Jeffrey Tambor), who has the wrong patient’s chart and seems far more concerned with dishing about famous patients he is treating than getting to the bottom of Dorothy’s problem. When she demands her test results, the doctor assures Dorothy that she is fine, and that nothing is wrong with her. Dorothy gets very emotional, and lays out her symptoms, despite his condescending insistence that she may just be lonely. Sophia enters the room and demands answers herself, telling the doctor off when he claims the problem is only mental. Eventually, he tells Dorothy that if she wants to investigate every possibility, she should visit his mentor in New York.

We cut to a night scene, where the girls are barbecuing on the lanai while Rose mentions a tragic event in St. Olaf history. Blanche claims to have writer’s block, but as she hasn’t written a single thing, it is unclear if she can yet claim to be a writer. We learn that Dorothy is heading to New York to see yet another doctor, and she is taking Rose with her. Blanche is jealous and thinks that she should be the one to get to go, but Rose is way too pumped to see the Big Potato.

In New York, Dorothy attends an appointment with the doctor to whom she was referred. And yet again, the doctor attempts to convince Dorothy that she isn’t sick. He suggests she see a psychiatrist, and she tells him that she has already seen two. She is clearly frustrated that she isn’t being heard, or her sickness acknowledged. He tells her that there isn’t anything wrong with her other than the fact that she’s getting old, and then like a big fat jerk, he suggests she get her hair done.

Back in the hotel room, Rose is chatting with room service about the price of tomato juice when Dorothy returns from her appointment. Dorothy tries to ask about Rose’s day, and Rose talks a bit about King Kong. Hey, how did Rose know that we will soon be Going Ape in August? It isn’t long, however, before Dorothy breaks down in tears. She is sick, and nobody believes her. Rose assures Dorothy that she believes her.

After they return to Miami, we find Blanche planning to stay up all night to finish her book. Dorothy is in bed, and Sophia tells the others that her daughter is still wiped out and depressed. Rose shares another St. Olaf tale that doesn’t seem to help much, and then things get real. Sophia doesn’t want Dorothy to die before her. Rose and Blanche assure her that this won’t happen, but Sophia is in tears. Dorothy could be dying, and they just don’t know it.

To Be Continued…

Oh man, what an opener! I told my wife as we watched that it felt like this episode had an entirely different rhythm than what we’ve grown used to, and I was expecting to see that a fresh new writer was involved, so imagine my surprise when I learned that the episode was written by Susan Harris herself! I suppose the creator knows her characters better than anyone, however, and knows how to employ their strengths. She also hadn’t written an episode of the show since Season 2, so she must have been saving up a good one (especially to redeem herself for Empty Nests, the awful backdoor pilot she wrote that wrapped up the second season). In this case, the jokes were very well timed and all landed, and the episode managed to blend some emotional moments with the comedy effectively. As has been made apparent from my recaps, these are always the episodes that I enjoy the most. I was definitely invested in the story at the end of the episode, and anxious for the resolution in Part 2. The ladies were all on the top of their game here too! I was afraid that the show might have peaked in Seasons 3 and 4, and I would be witnessing the beginning of a downward trend, but now I’m eager to see if they can maintain this quality level. I’m going to get to the next episode right away (even if my recap won’t be posted for a while), so let me just quickly give Sick and Tired: Part 1 a score of 4.5 poofy hairdos out of 5, and be on my way!

Join us tomorrow, when Jon will be sharing his recap of Nightmare in Silver, the next episode of Doctor Who, and I’ll be back on Tuesday with my recap of Sick and Tired: Part 2, the next episode of The Golden Girls. Until then, as always, thank you for being a friend, and for being One of Us!

#golden girls #the golden girls #one of us

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drthehonpeterphillips-blog · 8 years ago

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2017 BUDGET PRESENTATION BUILDNG A JAMAICA THAT WORKS FOR EVERYONE #ForwardTogether

DR. PETER D. PHILLIPS OPPOSITION SPOKESMAN ON FINANCE AND PLANNING MEMBER OF PARLIAMENT FOR EAST CENTRAL ST. ANDREW TUESDAY, MARCH 14, 2017 BELOW YOU WILL FIND THE FOLLOWING: Section II PORTIA SIMPSON MILLER SECTION III THE BUDGET PROCESS Poor Management of the Process SECTION IV Response to the Budget –The Expenditure Side NATIONAL SECURITY EDUCATION HEALTH REVENUE Impact of the New Revenue Measures Tax on Health Insurance New Deal for Agriculture Land Titling Housing “BUILDNG A JAMAICA THAT WORKS FOR EVERYONE” ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Once again as I rise, I begin my presentation by recognizing the self-evident fact that my presence here in this Chamber and in this Debate is made possible by the support I enjoy from many others. I want particularly, to recognize the contribution of my constituency which is represented here by Councillors Nenna Wilson and Dennis Gordon, along with members of the constituency executive and all others who have kept me as their Member of Parliament for six consecutive terms. My colleagues and comrades in the PNP – both those in the Parliament and those outside whose advice, prayers and solidarity have been a constant source of inspiration. My family, within this Chamber as well as those outside, and particularly my wife Sandra who is here, and who continues to make it possible for me to be here by her sustained support, and encouragement. Finally, let me recognize and pay tribute to you Mr. Speaker, for your guidance to the Parliament and also to the Clerk and other members of the parliamentary staff. Whatever our complaints, we need to recognize that the Jamaican Parliament has over the years gained a well-deserved reputation as one of the more important centres of Caribbean Democracy. A series of Standing Committees on Economic Production, Human Resources Development, and the like. We have pioneered the work of the Public Administration and Appropriations Committee (PAAC) and maintained the effective functioning of the Public Accounts Committee (PAC), all of which are chaired by Opposition members. These are traditions that do not exist elsewhere in the Caribbean, and we would do well to treasure them and protect them. In that regard, timely answers to questions are required by both to the letter and the law of our parliamentary democracy. Section II PORTIA SIMPSON MILLER The Budget Debate bears special significance particularly for us on this side, and I dare say for the Parliament as a whole. The Leader of the Opposition for the past ten years has led this side both in government and in opposition. She has indicated that she intends, within a few weeks to demit office as leader of the People’s National Party and I want to use this occasion to pay my personal tribute to her for her resolute and inimitable guidance to the affairs of this side during her tenure of leadership. It has also been widely acknowledged in Jamaica and outside that the Administration led by the Most Honourable Member from South West St Andrew laid the foundations for sound public finances in Jamaica, and established a firm platform for growth. As her Minister of Finance, I can personally testify to the value of her support and the importance of her credibility and goodwill among the Jamaican people in ensuring the effective implementation of the Economic Reform Programme. It is further to her credit that this programme was undertaken alongside a far-reaching commitment to advancing the social agenda with progress in education and training; the extensive land titling efforts, and I dare say the imaginative and innovative integration of community re-building efforts with crime-fighting strategies. Truly, her administration not only ensured that the Budget was balanced, but made progress in balancing people’s lives as well. SECTION III The Budget Process The entire Budget process is intended to provide the Parliament and the people of Jamaica with an accurate sign post of the country’s social and economic progress. To this end documents are circulated including the Fiscal Policy Paper, the Estimates of Expenditure and Revenue and The Debt Strategy. Poor Management of the Process However, I must bring to the attention of this Honourable House that the budget exercise this year has revealed the inadequacy of the government’s management of the process and by extension its management of the economic affairs of the country. This is cause for concern. The confusion was evident for example in the discussion of the Standing Finance Committee where it became clear that the right hand of the government did not know what the left hand was doing. Whereas the revenue books show zero intakes from the bauxite levy inflows, the statement by the Minister of Mining said something different. How can this be? The confusion is compounded even more by the fact that at every session of the Standing Finance Committee the government has been forced to make corrections to its numbers and to submit replacement documents. At the 11th hour, the Ministry of Finance was making adjustments to the Capital Expenditure of the Public Bodies showing an overall reduction of $10.7B for the selected Public Enterprises. These adjustments include: a decrease of $5B in the capital expenditure of the National Housing Trust; a decrease of $4.5B in the capital expenditure of the Port Authority of Jamaica; $100M decrease in the expenditure of the Civil Aviation Authority; a $100M decrease in the Universal Access Fund; and A decrease of $100M in the Capital Expenditure in the Student Loan Bureau – just to mention a few. What can explain all these changes made between the laying of the Estimates and the start of the Budget Debate, except incompetence and poor management of the Budget process? The total confusion with respect to the proposed draw-down from the National Housing Trust of $11.4B goes beyond the simple matter of confusion and may involve a breach of trust. Mr. Speaker, you will recall that the JLP then in Opposition took the previous administration to court on the basis that a withdrawal from the NHT was illegal, despite the Parliament clearly having passed the appropriate legislation. The Prime Minister, who was then Leader of the Opposition, declared openly that no future administration that he led would be withdrawing funds from the NHT. The Prime Minister also indicated as recently as two weeks ago that no decision had been taken to withdraw funds from the NHT. Many interpreted this to mean that no funds would be withdrawn and said so. Up until the announcement of the proposed withdrawal of funds from the NHT there was no attempt by the government to clarify the situation. Mr. Speaker, it seems clear that this administration’s approach to governance does not include taking the people into their confidence. They are more comfortable proceeding in a “samfi” way. And then there is the question of how we impose taxation. On more than one occasion, I have urged the Minister to consider utilizing the Committee on Tax Measures that is provided for under the Standing Orders of this House. On the occasion when we on this side have utilized the Committee we have found it to be of great value. It has allowed the people’s representatives an opportunity to consider options for revenue raising; It has allowed stakeholders in the wider community an opportunity to present their views and have them considered by the Parliament. Yes, there are political risks, particularly for a government, but if we are to mature as a democracy, we can’t persist in this approach of taxation by stealth or trickery. SECTION IV Response to the Budget –The Expenditure Side Looking at the Budget in more detail what does it reveal? Overall expenditure has been increased by approximately 22 per cent. However, the bulk of this increase is due to the growth in resources needed for the repayment of loans that have matured. Amortization has increased substantially (by over 120 per cent). If we take away Debt Servicing costs the overall increase in the Budget is a mere 6 per cent. If we take account of inflation the real increase in the budget is about 1 to 2 percent. So Mr. Speaker, despite all the talk about growth, this is not a growth Budget. After the J$29B in taxes, the Capital Expenditure is only J$53B, of which J$40B - and the bulk of this is – for debt repayment, leaving a mere $13B for Capital investment; For completeness, we should take account of the proposals for an additional J$69.7b by the selected public enterprises but this must be viewed with caution; By the end of this financial year, March 31, 2017, the estimates provided for J$57B of expenditure for the selected Public Enterprises. Yet it is estimated that only J$39B will be spent; Hopefully, that will not happen next year. And already even before the ink was dry on the 2017/18 Budget, the government moved funds from the Selected Public Enterprises into the Consolidated Fund. The cuts instituted last week included J$5 B from NHT; J$4 B from Port Authority; J$100 M from Civil Aviation and most disturbingly J$100M from the Students Loan Bureau. NATIONAL SECURITY A further consequence of this flawed budget is that critical areas, where there is urgent national need, will be short-changed and under-financed. National Security is one such area. There is no one in Jamaica today who is not painfully aware of the depth of the crisis that we face as far as the security of our citizens is concerned. Last year, despite the promise of the Honourable Prime Minister during the Election campaign that we were going to be able to sleep with our windows and doors open if his party won, Jamaicans now have never felt more insecure. For the current calendar year, the pace of criminal activity persists without relent. Murders are already up 22.7 per cent over last year, and shootings are up by 37.3 per cent. The Prime Minister also promised last year that there would have been “unprecedented” provision of resources to deal with the security problems in this year’s Budget. Sadly, the budget documents circulated in the House indicate no such provision. The Recurrent Budget for the Ministry of National Security is less than that of last year in nominal terms. The Recurrent Budget for the Police Department is down from last year by more than $1.5 B. MOCA which is supposed to deal with organized crime and anti-corruption efforts has its budget cut by more than half; and the Capital budget for the Ministry of National Security is down by approximately 30 per cent. This pattern covers almost all the agencies including the Correctional Service. So not only do we not have the provision of “unprecedented” levels of resources, but in fact we have reduced resources. I might add, Mr. Speaker that, as we all know, one of the most important deterrents to crime is the certainty that our Court System will deliver justice swiftly. Yet, the allocation for the Ministry of Justice, like that of the Police, has been decreased. The allocation for the Court of Appeal is reduced by $218 M, and there is no provision for an increase in the number of Court of Appeal judges so that the third panel of judges that has already been approved by law can be appointed to sit. Despite the talk, when we examine the provision in the Budget it is clear that there will be no improvement in either the Justice system or the state of National Security. EDUCATION As is the case with National Security, so is it with Education. No well-thinking person would deny that in a context where routinely in Jamaica, more than 50 per cent of our students leave school without the minimum requirements for the world of work, education and training must be accorded the highest national priority. Yet, here too, the provisions in this Budget for the Ministry of Education Youth and Information are grossly inadequate. The Recurrent Budget is essentially flat since the increase of $5 B will only keep pace with inflation. Further, when you take account of the increases in salaries and other operating costs, like electricity, there is going to be less to spend on the delivery of quality education and training. On the Capital side, particularly on Capital A the J$58B reduction in the allocation for Primary Education is a major step backward. The provision of J$100M for Secondary Education on the Capital side does not fill the gap especially when we consider that no school has been taken off the Shift System since the change of Administration, and only 12 schools are planned to be taken off this year against the 24 that the PNP Administration had planned to take off the Shift System in the same period. Under the School Feeding Programme, the assistance to students under PATH has been increased by J$1.8B. However, the assistance to students under the traditional school feeding programme has remained constant. Taking inflation into account, it may well be that the assistance to students in these areas this year has declined in real terms. When we look at the Recurrent Provisions for Grants, Contributions and Subsidies, we note that there is a reduction in the provision of materials and goods to support curriculum development of Infant, Primary, All Age and Secondary Schools and for the printing of text books. These have all remained at $821M, which means that there is a real decline when inflation is taken into account. Another major step backward has been taken in education with the decision to effectively halt the continued rationalization of basic schools and their transformation into infant schools. The early years are the most critical in the education process and consequently the reduction in the funding for this vital area of early childhood education means that the government and therefore the country are going in the wrong direction. The Prime Minister should heed the words of his mentor, former Prime Minister Edward Seaga, who in a column published in last Sunday’s Gleaner said “It may be said that it is already too late to find a way out to use early childhood education seriously into the system to begin a real transformation. “It would cost too much” would be the response but if we think that would be costly we should check the cost if it’s not done. It is the major part of the cost of fighting crime.” In the face of rampant anti-social and violent behavior amongst our youths, one would have expected a major effort to expand the programme of behavior modification for unattached youths which was introduced by the previous Administration. HEALTH The provisions for Health Services have moved marginally from $5.53B in 2016/17 to $5.61B in 2017/18 indicating that basic medical supplies such as gloves, bandages, needles etc. will still be in short supply at our public hospitals. The provision for the maintenance and upgrading of our facilities has been reduced from $3.0B in 2016/17 to $1B in 2017/18. Similarly, the provision for institutional strengthening to improve national surveillance and control of infectious diseases has also been reduced by $5M from $15M in 2016/17 to $10M in 2017/18. Although the monetary reduction is only $5M, one must question the rationality of this move given the recent history of Zik-V and Chik-V and the threat of malaria. We have heard statements attributed to the Honourable Minister of Health indicating that he would be looking towards the Trust Fund of the National Health Fund (NHF) to assist in financing the capital works for the Ministry of Health. The members on this side of the House would wish to warn the administration that we will not be party to a wholesale depletion of the Trust Fund which currently stands at J$9.4B The Health Fund was established to provide a medication subsidy for persons suffering from high blood pressure, sugar, asthma, cancer, obesity, heart problems among others. In addition a public education programme was designed to promote life-style changes. The focus on subsidy and promotion to effect lifestyle changes as integral parts of the NHF was designed to take the pressure off hospitalization by the treatment of these chronic non-communicable diseases and so reduce the cost to the Budget. Approximately two-thirds of the Health Budget goes to secondary and tertiary care (hospitalization). Thirty five per cent of these patients that are hospitalized suffer from these critical non-communicable diseases. While we recognize the need for urgent funding to assist the ailing health sector, it is critical that this be done in a sustainable way. REVENUE The most devastating part of this budget relates to the Revenue side. If we include the Tax Package of J$13.5B announced by the Minister of Finance along with the additional amount of J$4 B expected from the new valuation regime for property tax and the transfer of J$11.5B from NHT. The additional revenues being used to fund the budget amount to J$29B. There are those who will be quick to point out that we on this side, raised substantial revenues too, and transferred resources from the NHT. Before we go too far down that road, let us be clear that we are talking about two very different contexts. Let me make it clear that in 2012 and 2013, the Administration of which I was a part, inherited a national economic emergency which the Prime Minister admitted in the run-up to the 2011 elections when he promised “bitter medicine”. The JLP government had in reality abandoned the IMF Programme. Jamaica had no access to either domestic or international capital markets. In the absence of the IMF seal of approval, multilateral institutions such as the World Bank, the IDB and EU were not providing financing to Jamaica. By 2013, the country’s international reserves had slipped below internationally recognized minimum levels. No contracts were in place for any of the public sector workers. The primary surplus target which was set at 5 per cent was breached. This was the national economic emergency that we inherited. Before the IMF would consider re-establishing a programme for Jamaica, specific prior actions were required: A wage freeze A second national debt exchange; and Correction to the fiscal imbalance Mr. Speaker, the stakeholders too recognized the danger to the country and bought into the programme. The workers accepted the wage freeze Creditors, including pensioners, re-scheduled their debts And the public endured serious revenue packages. I say to them once again, thank you. The country owes you debt of gratitude. Let us contrast that situation with the one that we left in place and which the JLP government has benefitted from. Relations with International and local capital markets had been restored Balanced budgets Inflation had been tamed and was at its lowest level in 50 years International reserves were healthy The relationship with the IMF was restored with Jamaica having the best record globally of meeting its commitments. 98 per cent of public sector workers had wage agreements in place. The simple truth is that this onerous tax-package which has been forced onto the backs of the Jamaican people – is not caused by any national/economic crisis in the Jamaican economy, it is caused solely by the decision of the government – a decision rooted in ill-conceived partisan political interests. The government during the election campaign had promised to raise the tax threshold without any taxes. We said it couldn’t be done – and that it would cost J$30B of New Taxes. And that is the price that the Jamaican people are paying. We are not against raising the Tax threshold – we raised the income tax threshold three times, successively, but it should be done without causing undue disruption either to the economic stability of the country or imposing unnecessary hardships on the majority of the people. There are a number of issues with this tax package: The first has to do with equity and fairness. Over the past two budget cycles the government has shifted the burden of taxation from direct taxes (and in particular individual income taxes) to indirect taxes on consumption. Because people with lower income consume a greater portion of their income than high wage-earners they will suffer more from any increased taxes So for example – Only persons earning above the current J$1M threshold will benefit from the threshold increase yet the burden of the new taxes will fall on a much wider net including workers and the poor. The increases announced to PATH benefits will help; but PATH only covers 320,000 persons and PIOJ numbers suggest that you have 540,000 persons below the poverty line, and may move on the borderline. These are the working poor. It would be useful to know if a tax incidence study was done to see what effect these taxes would have on the distribution of national income. Even without the benefit of such studies however, I suspect that based on the range of indirect tax increases imposed in the last two budget cycles, these policies will have resulted in one of the most significant re-distribution of income from the poor to the rich in the history of this country on the basis of a policy choice by a sitting government. The second issue that should be emphasized is the impact of these tax policies on the cost of doing business, and by extension, on the general competitiveness of the Jamaican economy. One of the primary determinants of competitiveness in the local economy is the cost of energy consumed in the production of goods and services; yet the Government of Jamaica has chosen to target taxes on energy to offset the lion’s share of the revenue shortfall created by its redistributive tax policies. Is this consistent with the Government of Jamaica’s emphasis on economic growth and job creation? The final point to be noted is that the current budget is not the last in which we will count the cost of the government’s disastrous policy choices. As pointed out in Minister Shaw’s presentation, because the new threshold takes effect on April 1 when the Tax year starts January 1 the effective threshold will average J$1.375M and not J$1.5M. It is not until 2018/19 that the full cost of the increase to J$1.5M will be fully absorbed in the government’s accounts and in the economy. Look out for more taxes. Impact of the New Revenue Measures Among the more unacceptable aspects of the revenue package are: the increased tax on energy will push electricity prices, stifle businesses and penalize all households. The taxes on fuel will also affect everyone – drivers, businesses and other users of transport services, etc. The package will be particularly devastating to the young. Tertiary students, workers, as well as young entrepreneurs, are trying with their businesses and are barely making ends meet. The question is to what extent will the newly announced revenue measures create further unemployment, instability and hopelessness among the youth? Let us take the case of Jubbi, who after leaving school was not able to find employment and with the assistance of extended family finally managed to get a loan from the Credit Union to buy a taxi. Last year he was hit with a $7 increase on every gallon of fuel. The revenue measures announced for this year will hit him with another increase in the cost of fuel as well as an increase in license fees. Predictably, he is requesting a 25 per cent increase in fares. Can his customers afford to pay? And if they can’t, what is his future in the Taxi business? Jubbi is from an average working class family, and his mother is a single parent with another child at school. She is presently not paying income tax and will therefore not be among the beneficiaries of the new income tax relief measures, but will have to bear the new tax burdens that have been imposed. Next, let us take the case of Chris a 20-year-old student at the University of Technology studying Hotel & Research Management who lives in West Prospect, a community near Bog Walk and travels to school daily. His present daily bus fare is $100 from West Prospect to Bog Walk another $130 from Bog Walk to Spanish Town then $100 from Spanish to Halfway Tree and another $100 from Halfway Tree to UTECH. If he has a patty and a box drink for lunch that is another $260. Taxi drivers are demanding a 25 per cent increase in fares, and this will inevitably be the demand throughout by other providers of public transportation. Chris’s mother can hardly cope with the present transportation cost of nearly $600 per day. Will she be able to afford the impending increase? Finally, let us take the case of Kamisha who after leaving school could not find employment and got help to start a little hair-dressing business at her home. She is already faced with an electricity bill which reached $5,000 per month. She will now have to contend with another substantial increase in her monthly light bill. Kamisha is deeply worried about the future of her small business. At another level let us take the case of an elderly couple, both of whom are pensioners, who will now face an increase in the cost of medicines, which they will be unable to pay. They now face an uncertain future. We on this side, while in government made provision for annual increase in pension payments. In this case, the JLP government is imposing a tax burden with no relief for pensioners. Tax on Health Insurance A particularly pernicious element of this Tax Package is the Tax on Health Insurance Premiums: In a country where the public health system is still grossly inadequate, it must be an obvious part of the country’s strategy of Health Care delivery to facilitate citizens to buy Health Insurance coverage, that is why no government in the past have ever taxed Health Insurance Premiums. The effect will be immediately to raise the costs of premiums to firms and individuals (see examples): IMPACT OF GCT ON EXISTING GROUP HEALTH PREMIUMS (SAMPLE CLIENTS} In many instances, firms will not increase their budgets – and the result will be lower levels of coverage. In some cases the effect will be devastating for individuals Take the case of Monica – a cancer survivor who took early retirement She remains a part of a special group plan for retirees in the firm she used to work with and she pays insurance premiums of $14,000 per month. Her income is fixed Her medication, without insurance is more than $40,000 per month With her Insurance coverage, she pays only $8,000 for medication With this new tax, her $14,000 per month premium will go up, but her income is fixed, and she is unable to find the increase. She is literally looking at the doors of death if she is unable to secure the medication which her insurance coverage used to provide for her. Mr. Speaker the best we can say for this whole package is that the government should withdraw it: It was ill-conceived It was motivated by partisan concerns rather than national interest. It is too burdensome especially on the majority, especially on the poorest. The government should “wheel and come again”. SECTION VI Advancing the Economic Reform Programme to Achieve Stability, Equitable Growth & Prosperity Mr. Speaker, In 2012, we embarked on an Economic Reform Programme. I introduced it in my Budget as “a new and binding covenant for stability, equitable growth and prosperity”. During my tenure as minister of finance I consistently spoke to the importance of a national “consensus around the essentials of our development path and the strategies to achieve developmental goals”. Today, I am even more convinced that only “continuity of effort and fixity of purpose” will see us through. Consistent with this view I welcome any initiative by the JLP administration to continue the implementation of the Economic Reform Programme (ERP). I note that the Minister of Finance no disparages the passing of IMF tests and no longer draws a line of demarcation between “the IMF test” and “the Peoples test”. It should be apparent to all that passing the IMF tests laid the foundation for economic success for the benefit of the people. We, on this side of the House, rejoice in his repentance for as the Good Book says, “Joy shall be in Heaven over one sinner that repenteth more than over ninety-nine just persons who need no repentance”. CONCLUSION We remain convinced that the Jamaican economy will not achieve the requisite levels of high rates of economic growth unless and until we tackle the problems of stemming from social and economic inequality. We need to bring the hundreds of thousands who have been living on the margins of the economy and society into the mainstream of the social and economic life of the country. To achieve this objective, we will have to complete the reform of our Educational system, to ensure that the 50 per cent of our students who are being left behind each year after leaving school are adequately prepared for the world of work. We will have to modernize our security forces to effectively control crime and anti-social behaviour. We will have to directly confront the poverty and inequality that is embedded in our economic and social reality. And this will require three critical initiatives. A New Deal for Jamaican Agriculture A Resolution of the Land Question; and A New Approach to housing for the majority of our people New Deal for Agriculture The creation of a more competitive exchange rate as part of the Economic Reform Programme (ERP) provided a vital push for Jamaica’s agriculture. The new deal will go much further to provide: Improved infrastructure – especially water and irrigation An expansion of the Extension Services to provide both advice in Agricultural technique and in marketing The marketing possibilities are limitless. Mr. Speaker I would like to bring to the attention of the House that tomorrow one local producer is sending off a shipment of sweet potatoes, pumpkins, yam, etc. in his first shipment to mainstream supermarkets in the U.K. The demand for Jamaican cuisine is now global. Most of all though we will need a new approach Land Titling, to enable the more than 40 per cent of our agricultural producers who have no land title to become titled landowners for the first time. This will enable them to enter the formal financial system and economy. Land Titling The land problem has been with us since Emancipation. At the present time – some 700,000 Jamaicans are categorized as squatters, living an uncertain existence, with no legitimacy of tenure in their own land. This endures to our collective shame. We created the Land Administration Management Programme LAMP to advance the solution to this problem, but its pace is obviously inadequate The PNP is committed to creating a new legal framework to rationalize the over l00 pieces of legislation which currently impact directly or indirectly on land ownership and use. The new legal framework must reflect the Jamaican reality and facilitate the regularization of persons who have occupied registered land for years, particularly in our inner-city communities where, despite possession for decades, occupants are unable to obtain titles. Housing Successive governments of Jamaica have grappled with the housing problem, and a number of institutions have been created to deal with this challenge - A Ministry of Housing; the Jamaica Mortgage Bank; the Housing Agency of Jamaica; The Greater Portmore Project. The National Housing Trust was created in 1976 and it has since has borne the brunt of financing the country’s housing needs. As I speak, the NHT has provided around 200,000 housing mortgages which, depending on what figure one uses for the average size of families, impacts between 25 per cent to 33 per cent of the population. When we left office in February 2015 the NHT was in the process of implementing some 9,300 solutions in 10 parishes and locations. I was happy to note that the current Prime Minister broke ground for the Project in Friendship in St James, which will provide a mix of 1,500 housing solutions. I expect that he will be breaking ground for a good number of the remaining 8,000 which were planned before we demitted office and, I would expect some new ones initiated by his government. Despite Jamaica’s best efforts in addressing the housing situation, we are challenged by the economic reality that the costs of materials of construction itself outpace the increase in wages; and therefore consequences for affordability and the income stream to NHT through contributions and mortgage repayments. Another major challenge is the time frame for implementing many housing solutions. Planning, Procurement Design, and Design Approvals takes up to two years; with Procurement taking as much as 46 weeks for even relatively small Projects. This will have to be radically revised without impairing transparency. If we are to provide adequate and affordable housing solutions for the Jamaican people, we will have to: Drastically reduce the ‘lead time’ from initiation to start, and of course speedier construction Find a way to encourage self-building initiatives for low-income persons through a micro-financing scheme financed by NHT institutions like the Credit Unions. Explore the possibility of providing some level of insurance to private institutions or firms to invest in low-income housing; and Follow-up on a proposal we had before we left office to amend the law to enable us to upgrade shelter and/or infrastructure of poor communities and indigent homes operated by the State, NGOs or the Private Sector Finally, Mr. Speaker, we must state quite frankly that this budget does not advance Jamaica’s economic reform programme. It offers no hope that it will solve the fundamental challenges that face our people: The country has treated to litany of broken promises; The people were promised a 1.5million tax break without any new taxes – that did not happen; They were promised that there would be no further draws-down of funds from NHT – that promise has been broken; They were promised unprecedented Resources to confront the spiraling crime rate – this promise has not materialised; They were promised more resources for Education – that is not evident in the budget; Healthcare has been set back not only by the limited resources provided in the Budget, but by the ill-considered plan to tax Health Insurance Premiums; The government runs the risk of squandering the economic gains made during the previous administration in laying an economic foundation that offers hope to the people; We need to make the democratic process of Parliament work by utilizing the Committee on Tax Measures and stop this approach of taxation by surprise; Our vision is of a Jamaica that works for all the people; A Jamaica in which no Jamaican citizen will be a squatter in the land of their birth; A Jamaica in which every Jamaicans will have access to affordable housing; A Jamaica where agricultural is finally transformed into a modern sector of the economy; We can achieve these goals if we are more honest with each other; We can create a better Jamaica if cooperate more and compete less; Let us move forward together to the better Jamaica that was the dream of the Founding Fathers and Mothers of this nation. Thank you God Bless Jamaica, Land We Love

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mateotorrezjr · 6 years ago

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again, but better → christine riccio

special shoutout to st. martin’s press via netgalley for providing me with a copy of the book to review, all thoughts expressed in the following discussion are my own.

if i were a person that used half stars, i find that this is a book that would a perfect time to utilize them. as it stands, i don’t, and while from a purely objective standpoint this is a solid three star book, i don’t rate books objectively. i rate them from a purely subjective standpoint based solely on my enjoyment, and so i had to settle on a solid two stars.

before i descend into a ramble i want to acknowledge that i don’t think it’s inherently wrong for an author to draw on their own personal lives for a character, in my opinion while this is a novel it does teeter on the edge of semi autobiographical. i don’t even think that it’s wrong for a book to serve as wish fulfillment for an author or for a protagonist to be any kind of analog for an author. it gets into a weird territory when you can start to draw those connections perhaps, but to judge the whole of the book in that way i do believe to be a mistake. my relationship to the author, as tangential as it is as i haven’t watched her youtube content regularly in a few years, is not universal and there are plenty of readers that won’t come to this story with the same baggage that i did. if there was anything about the self-insert, semi autobiographical nature of the book it was the use of references. for a bulk of the novel the references seemed to be used entirely to make the reader that the book was taking place in 2011, it felt more like a crutch and one that riccio refused to abandon as the book went on. judging by how lackluster the bulk of the descriptions we did get i can understand why the references were used as a crutch. i’m not sure that at this point the “world building” could have been strong enough without that reliance. if the second half of the novel is anything to go by, even when presented a second chance to fix some of the lackluster descriptions the opportunity wasn’t seized.

part of the reason i felt like i needed to keep this in two star territory and not simply round up to a three were the characters. not so much individual arcs, but i found that our supporting players were never quite utilized an any kind of meaningful way? they existed seemingly as afterthoughts, which is kind of insulting as they do serve as some of the books only “diversity”. first we have shane’s roommates during her semester abroad in london; sahra and babe. babe is described as “dark skinned and curvy”, i’ve seen at least one person label babe as a black woman, and if further description of babe is provided in the book i can’t recall anything other than a mention of her hair being thick and curly. i feel like descriptions like this don’t do any service in terms of representation as “dark skinned” can refer to a multitude of ethnicities and racial identities. sahra is described as tan, and that’s about it. her name coupled with the fact that her family went on a trip to lebanon at some point in the past i assume that she’s middle eastern, but it’s never confirmed and furthermore neither of these characters are all that instrumental in shane’s life. there’s a throw away line about babe becoming her best friend, but all of those sort of references are made off the page and we rarely get to see those moments. they do get to share pleasant moments of general getting along, but nothing that would make me believe they were anything ever than simply pleasant with one another. what bothered me most about these two characters specifically if they were meant to be woc, is that both of them have moments where they are seemingly antagonistic toward shane for seemingly no reason, both times for pure shock value.

the novel also includes atticus, a gay asian [ nothing more specific is ever given to my recollection. so whether he is japanese or mongolian or vietnamese is a complete mystery to me ] and he is only ever included in minor moments of even far less significance than the ladies. presumably because the novel isn’t from pilot’s, atticus’ roommate and the love interest of the story, perspective. there is a second gay character, but he is by far and away the least important character in the story and his coming out is shoehorned in at the very end of the book in a way that feels more like a deleted scene that forgot to be removed. there is a black woman at shane’s internship, but her not getting an arc wasn’t an important to me given that she wasn’t really an important character to the story in the same way that babe and sahra could have been.

now i want to discuss the plot twist of the book that happens just before 50 percent of the way through the book, without getting too spoilery. simply put i don’t think that it was at all necessary. if anything i think that the later half, particularly the parts written between 65 – 80ish percent of the way through the book were by far and away the weakest of the novel. not only because we were retreading ground that we had already traveled, but really at no point did it feel as though any of our characters had grown.

in the interest of fairness some of the character have an excuse for the staticness of their arcs, this was a novel that was really never interested in making those characters three dimensional and was really only interested in one of the two leads. that said even they didn’t seem to have grown in a way that i think would have made sense given the circumstances. when you take into consideration shane’s goals the fact that she remains so static becomes even more painfully obvious.

shane as a character herself was also really painful to read at times during this novel. part of me feels that if you don’t fine shane interesting and compelling by the time you get to the plot twist the second half of the book doesn’t really offer you anything you can’t assume will happen, there’s very little reward for sticking through it once you’ve reached that point. that aside, shane for so much of the novel seemed to be pushing the blame for certain actions off of herself and onto the shoulders of various other characters. particularly in the first half of the novel. there’s an instance where she meticulously planned and coordinated a lie and then when confronted tried to play it off like it was an accident or she hadn’t meant to do it. i don’t think that the story really ever dealt with that situation, or even what would have been the fallout following the plot twist?

another thing i think the book failed to do was describe anything well. it never crossed into white room syndrome, i did typically have a general understanding of the layout and some of the key furniture or flooring, but there was general lack of depth. the book is set in london, but there are moments that take place in rome, paris, edinburgh, and new york city. all of these cities have distinct flavor and vibe to them, that riccio utterly failed to capture. i’m not even sure that it was a goal of the writing, and i do feel like it hurt. the setting all sort of blurred together. in terms of settings i think riccio relied on landmarks to really do the heavy lifting without thinking through how these setting could play into the story she wanted to tell in a way that was important to the narrative.

at times i found the dialogue to be clunky. mostly that a lot of it seemed to be 1) a reference to something or 2) something that could have been in any straight to dvd teen rom com situation. some of the clunkier moments were when riccio was trying to subvert a popular ya cliche. the first being a riff on the “i let out a breath i didn’t know i was holding,” line that was honestly just whatever, nothing to offense. what really made me decide that it was clunky was a line later that’s an extended scene and conversation about that big romcom moment in entertainment where two love interests have a conversation that builds to a sort of iconic tattoo worthy word like “always” or the “okay, okay” moment from tfios that ends in the most ridiculous way. to be fair, it wasn’t the worst thing i’d ever read, in the grand scheme of things for some people that moment will work. it didn’t click for me, and it’s one of the easier moments to point to and not the countless conversations that obviously occur over the course of a novel that didn’t click. y’know?

riccio also made the decision to include postcards written to shane’s parents and her journal entries, and while i do think that at times they help to make shane a more well rounded character, at least more in comparison to the characters. but i found that these journal entries were another crutch to breeze through aspects of the story that honestly should have been far more fleshed out. i feel like this approach was taken to better facilitate this plot twist that i don’t think was entirely necessary. a book can only be so long, and the way that this narrative was chosen to be told, you have to make concessions and unfortunately i’m firmly in the camp that this same story could have been told without it and that the story could have even been better without it.

how many times can i sneak that sentiment into this discussion?

it’s hard to talk about the cheating that takes place in this book without going into spoilers, but i’ll do my best to. the cheating aspect was one of the many things that halted me from becoming fully invested in this romance. i was also partially not into it because for at least the first half of the novel i think that it was really easy for a reader to see as very one sided. i don’t know if that’s me being a dumb bitch, or me being stuck in shane’s head where her running commentary and anxieties. after the first 25% i was really convinced that this mutual attraction thing wasn’t all that mutual. even when i was back on board i thought that it was very strange that shane would continue to pursue a relationship with someone that was already in another relationship, and at one point in the novel she laments about how upset she was that the dude didn’t cheat on his girlfriend with her? it’s something that’s completely and totally irrational. i think that the narrative casually ignores the fact that after the plot twist shane is technically not in a position to be pursuing a relationship. ignoring isn’t the right word, it’s acknowledged, but still tossed aside in favor of resting on the fact that because of the plot twist it changes things. it’s a very nuanced situation, and one that i don’t think that this book was honestly not prepared or wanting to handle. it’s serious ethical conversation that most ya contemporary novels aren’t trying to tackle. it’s okay. just don’t introduce them. pilot’s girlfriend is also firmly in stock character, total plot device status. we literally get to know nothing about her. also just not a fan of this idea that after three months you should be completely in love with someone or the relationship is a failure, like, i feel like that’s not the message. i also feel like the book send a weird message about pursuing people already in a relationship, that if you have a crush on someone that is with someone it can work out for you and you can get a happily ever after with them. it’s very complicated like i said, and honestly not the type of conversation this book is capable of handling.

i had a lot of issues with this book, if you are interested in my live reactions and thoughts about things i did livetweet it, so you can check that out here. i tried to keep this review centered on the larger issues that i had with the narrative. i’m almost positive thought that few of the pettier critiques i had slipped in, and i wouldn’t be surprised if i was more than a little repetitive.

all of that said though, i objectively don’t see this book as terrible. if nothing else i was compelled to finish the book, it was really easy to read and so it never felt like a chore to continue despite the fact that shane was constantly annoying me and the narrative was constantly failing to utilize it’s whole cast of characters. as i’ve stated there’s nothing inherently bad about this story. despite the fact that i’ve given it such a low rating, i do think that there are people that won’t have the same issues that i did. i don’t think that this book is for everyone, that said i think that it’s also really easy to tell if it’s not for you and even if it’s not if you do manage to get to the end i don’t think that it feels like a waste of time. as aggravated as i became that the narrative wasn’t living up to the full potential, i can’t deny that some small part of me was at least pleasantly entertained by the mess that i was watching unfold. it’s a book that while can’t support the conversations that it sparks, it does spark discussion and i think that’s certainly better than a book that exists simply as matter in the universe.

#again but better #book review

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bloojayoolie · 6 years ago

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Being Alone, Andrew Bogut, and Cats: KID, CAT, DOG-friendly Chivalen needs a safe spot to land.. KID, CAT. DOG-friendly Chivalen needs a safe spot to land. . Nothing makes a heart sink more than seeing a sad senior knowing he was dumped by the very ones he was loyal to. Please open your hearts to Chivalen. He deserves a loyal companion in his life. FOR a New Family to KNOW: PLAYFUL A GOOD B Chivalen is described as being FRIENDLY & NEEDS y AFFECTIONATE with his owner. Overall, he i PLAYFUL, SHY & EXCITABLE. Well-behaved when left alone, he love to sprint around the house holding his bone (and also favorite toy) tightly in his mouth, his favorite is Blue Buffalo brand food & he prefers to not be on leash but rather run around free in the yard. He may be 11 yrs old but this little fella still has a lot of gusto in him.- Awesome Chivalen needs ONE PERSON to eare for & love him& THAT RIGHT Now as he IS ON the NYC Kill described as being don let List STEP up NOW to Save his LIFE APPLY with rescues RIGHT NOW or MACC WILL KILL him!!! HURRYHe is OUT OF TIME!!!: 35883 *Chivalen is ON the NYC Kill List *** To Be KILLED 7/31/18 in NYC *** HELP ME, I am BACK on the KILL LIST for the THIRD TIME!!! ** PLEASE, SAVE ME!!! KID, CAT, DOG-friendly Chivalen needs a safe spot to land. FOR a New Family to KNOW: Chivalen is described as being FRIENDLY & AFFECTIONATE by his owner. Overall, he is described as being PLAYFUL, SHY & EXCITABLE. Well-behaved when left alone, he loved to sprint around the house holding his bone (& also favorite toy) tightly in his mouth, his favorite is Blue Buffalo brand food & he prefers to not be on leash but rather run around free in the yard. He may be 11 yrs old but this little fella still has a lot of gusto in him. - Awesome Chivalen needs *ONE PERSON* to care for & love him & THAT RIGHT NOW as he IS ON the NYC Kill List AGAIN ** STEP up NOW to Save his LIFE ** APPLY with rescues RIGHT NOW or MACC WILL KILL him!!! ** HURRY ** He is OUT OF TIME!!! :( Little Chivalen DIES at the Manhattan, NY ACC UNLESS ✔FOSTERED✔ADOPTED✔RESCUED✔RIGHT NOW!!! Just DO IT, APPLY NOW & Save his Life !!! A VOLUNTEER WRITES: I watched Chivaleen out with staff yesterday and saw a good boy, scared but not aggressive and very well behaved. He showed friendly interest in my dog on the other side of the fence and didn't venture far from his handlers nor became reactive when they were close to him. I hope this handsome gent can get the TLC he needs to live a long, happy life. No senior should have to end their days at ACC. ****************************************** To FOSTER or ADOPT little Chivalen, SPEAK UP NOW & Save a Life, APPLY with rescues OR message Must Love Dogs - Saving NYC Dogs IMMEDIATELY!!!! ****************************************** The general rule is to foster you have to be within 4 hours of the NYC ACC approved New Hope partner rescues you are applying with and to adopt you will have to be in the general NE US area; NY, NJ, CT, PA, DC, MD, DE, NH, RI, MA, VT & ME (some rescues will transport to VA). ✔Pledge✔Tag✔Share✔Foster✔Adopt✔Save a life! Thank you for caring! ================================= Hello, my name is Chivalen. My animal id is #35883. I am a male tan dog at the Manhattan Animal Care Center. The shelter thinks I am about 11 years old. I weigh 32 lbs. I am a good boy, please, please, save me!!! FOR a New Family to KNOW: Chivalen is described as being FRIENDLY & AFFECTIONATE by his owner. Overall, he is described as being PLAYFUL, SHY & EXCITABLE. Well-behaved when left alone, he love to sprint around the house holding his bone (and also favorite toy) tightly in his mouth, his favorite is Blue Buffalo brand food & he prefers to not be on leash but rather run around free in the yard. He may be 11 yrs old but this little fella still has a lot of gusto in him. Means of surrender (length of time in previous home):: Owner surrender Previously lived with:: 1 adult, 1 dog, 1 cat Behavior toward strangers:: Growls, barks Behavior toward children:: Friendly Behavior toward dogs:: Relaxed, playful Behavior toward cats:: Did well with cat in home; sniffed Resource guarding:: Growls if high value items are approached Bite history:: None reported Housetrained:: Yes, when taken out on a schedule Energy level/descriptors:: Friendly and affectionate with a high energy level Playgroup: When introduced to a social female greeter dog, Chivalen briefly acknowledges her but keeps to himself. He accepts her greetings and occasionally will investigate her but does not engage in any play and remains fearful throughout his time in the yard. 7/29: Chivalen is soft and polite greeting calm dogs. He hides from more forward approach. Date of assessment:: 7/29/2018 Summary:: Chivalen remains shut down in the care center and makes strong attempts to flee/move away from any human interaction. Out of concern for Chivalen's stress level and handler safety, a handling assessment will not be attempted. Behavior Asilomar: TM - Treatable-Manageable Recommendations:: No children (under 13),Place with a New Hope partner Recommendations comments:: Place with a New Hope partner: Due to the behavior observed in the care center, the behavavior department recommends Chivalen be placed with a New Hope placement partner who is able to provide an experienced adult-only foster home. A period of decompression is recommended to allow Chivalen to acclimate comfortably to his new environment; force-free, reward based training only is advised when introducing Chivalen to new and unfamiliar situations. Consultation with a professional trainer/behaviorist is highly recommended for guidance to safely manage/modify any behavior Chivalen presents with outside of the care centers. No children (under 13): Due to how uncomfortable Chivalen is currently with touch and novel stimuli, we feel that an adult-only home would be most beneficial at this time. Potential challenges: : Resource guarding,Fearful/potential for defensive aggression Potential challenges comments:: Fearful/potential for defensive aggression: Chivalen has been observed to escalate quickly to snapping in the care center, so this is an established behavior that he offers when he feels threatened. Chivalen needs careful behavior modification and management to prevent future incident. We recommend only force-free, reward-based training methods for Chivalen as more aversive techniques are likely to increase fear and increase the risk of aggression. Resource guarding: Chivalen's previous owner notes that he may growl when his high value items are approached. We recommend that Chivalen be left alone while eating, and that food guarding behavior modification steps (available at ASPCApro.org) be utilized if this behavior is problematic in his future home. Nothing should ever be taken directly out of Chivalen's mouth, and any time something is removed he should be rewarded with a high value treat or toy. He should be taught the "drop" cue and trade-up games. DVM Intake Exam Estimated age: Reported 11 years old - exam is consistent with this Microchip noted on Intake? MC scanned neg Subjective: Alert, tense, walks well on leash Observed Behavior - Very tense, pt claws off the muzzle and jumps around when restrained. Gasping with anxiety, eyes extremely wide, body very stiff, pt sits down when hind legs are touched. Pt allows all handling (including blood draw and rectal exam) with NO vocalization, snapping etc. Evidence of Cruelty seen - None Evidence of Trauma seen - None BAR-H, MMs pink and moist, BCS 5/9 EENT: Eyes clear, ears clean, no nasal or ocular discharge noted Oral Exam: Clean adult teeth PLN: No enlargements noted H/L: NSR, NMA, Lungs clear, eupnic ABD: Tense, not distended. Unable to palpate well for masses. U/G: Male intact, testicles S/S MSI: Stiff hind legs when walking, especially right hip and stifle. Severe muscle wasting in both hind legs. Clicking and laxity palpable in right stifle on flexion. Difficult to palpate the range of hip extension due to pt stress. Skin free of parasites, no masses noted, healthy hair coat. CNS: Mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities Rectal: Right-sided perineal hernia - mostly fat although one loop of bowel is palpable inside the hernia as a tissue slip. Rectum is dilated. Feces evacuated was two colors and consistencies, as if some has been sitting there for longer than the rest. Assessment: 1. Right-sided perineal hernia 2. Osteoarthritis in both hind legs, especially right Plan: 1. CBC/chemistry 2. Miralax 1/2 tsp BID until surgery - may need to adjust the dose 3. Recommend surgical correction of hernia +/- neuter 4. Recommend sedated evaluation and rads of both hips and stifles SURGERY: Permanent waiver due to age (geriatric). ... NOTE: *** WE HAVE NO OTHER INFORMATION THAN WHAT IS LISTED WITH THIS FLYER *** ... ============ Shelter address ========== - Manhattan Shelter: 326 East 110 St. New York, NY 10029 - Phone number (212) 788-4000 (automated only) Operating hours: Monday through Friday 12.00pm to 8.00pm, Saturday & Sunday: 10.00am to 6.00pm. Closed on all Holidays.. ================================= == About Must Love Dogs - Saving NYC Dogs == We are a group of advocates (NOT a shelter NOR a rescue group) dedicated to finding loving homes for NYC dogs in desperate need. ALL the dogs on our site need Rescue, Fosters, or Adopters & that ASAP as they are in NYC high-kill shelters. If you cannot foster or adopt, please share them far & wide. Thank you for caring!! <3 ================================= https://newhope.shelterbuddy.com/Animal/Profile/Index/67b2b361-0051-4f10-ba53-c1f087b9bfc5

#funny #lol #humor #memes #meme #memehumor #dank memes #funny pics #rolf #lmao #Being Alone #Andrew B

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