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lordprettyflackotara · 5 months ago

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heroin kiss || kylo ren

‘& now i’m feenin’ for ya, cravin’ for ya, heroin kiss’

sum: after being captured, kylo ren is determined to extract what he wants from you. by any means necessary.

tw:smut, minors dni 18+. sorry poe. rough sex. inappropriate use of the force, cream pie, humiliation/degrading

a/n:kylo lives in my head rent free

You were fucked.

Completely and utterly fucked.

You struggled against the metal restraints that pinned you down to the metal table, blinding lights making your eyes water as they blinded you from above.

The room was unusually sterile, your nose burning from the sickening scent. You swallowed as you tried to move, your wrist and ankles restricted in the most uncomfortable manner. How long had it been since you had been brought here? You couldn’t recall, your mind drowning in fears of what was to come next.

You had been separated from the resistance, left behind in a desperate attempt for any of the fellow rebels to survive. Many were already dead. The scattered bodies on the ground below had proven that. You guessed they had presumed you dead, stranding you on whatever damned planet had resulted in your capture. You cursed yourself for not paying more attention on where you were landing.

Now you were trapped on the finalizer, misery and torture destined to come your way. You could feel the sound of people scrambling outside of your room, the metal doors sliding open. With wide eyes you stared at Kylo Ren, the leader of the Knights of Ren. The realization of how utterly fucked you were crashed over you, upon seeing his ominous mask stare down at you. Your body froze, staring at him as you awaited his next move. You were surprised to watch him take off his helmet, his face stern as he glared down at you. “For such a tiny little thing you put up quite a fight. How many of my men did you kill on your way in with that pathetic little blaster of yours? Three?” He questioned.

His amusement confused you, Kylo Ren being known for his ruthless wrath. You opted out of speaking, instead staring blankly. You knew this could end in various methods of torture. He could use the force to strangle you, cut off your limbs one by one with his light saber or-

“Enough with the various torture methods you’ve conjured up. They’re all absurdly boring and take absurd amounts of time,” Kylo said sternly, regaining your attention. Your eyebrows furrowed, causing him to snicker. “What? Did they forget about use of the force in your training? That pretty little mind of yours is all I need,” He explains plainly, as if you not knowing was utterly boring. Menacingly he walks beside you, his eyes never straying from your face.

He can read minds? What kind of left out training fuck shit is that?

This caused Kylo to snicker once more, his gloved hand grabbing your chin. He forced your lips to pucker out like a fish, your eyes widening in fear. Instinctively you struggle against the restraints, your bones clashing with the metal. “Such foul thoughts, I wonder if your lips are the same way. Let’s see,” He grins, his smile wicked and curled upwards in amusement. You can feel your mind becoming fuzzy as he steps into your mind, your body going limp as he explores your memories. You stand beside him in your own mind, watching every moment, from significant to minuscule, like a picture movie. Your lips are unmoving, but you’re screaming for him to stop, begging for him to wait.

Ever so achingly slow, he begins exploring each path of your mind. Your updated memories aren’t enough for him, the warlord intrigued and diving deeper. “Stop this at once! Get out!” You screech, your screams falling on deaf ears. Kylo’s unmoved by your demands, waving through the boring memories and landing on one that catches his eye. His eyebrows furrow as he begins to watch, your face twisting in disgust as you turn away. Kylo’s own face turns in confusion, his eyebrows raised as he watches the memories of you and Poe.

“Poe Dameron? That’s your type?” He questions. You can’t bear to watch the events of the past play out, your stomach churning as Kylo watches them. Every exchanged smile. Every training session. Every battle fought together. Kylo can feel the romantic feelings that pound in your heart at the sight of the pilots face. Every hug, then every kiss, every sexual encounter. Every plea you gave for him to fuck you harder. To choke you. To make you forget about the worries of existing. You cover your eyes, listening to the unforgettable sounds of Poe Dameron’s smooth voice. Kylo watches, puzzled. Your romantic entanglements did not intrigue him. They meant nothing to his search for helpful knowledge. But your reaction, your screams, your emotions. That did intrigue him. And so Kylo watched it all, watching you fall in love with the beloved pilot of the resistance. It was then the worst part was coming, that you wanted to curl up into a ball.

Poe Dameron was dedicated to the resistance more than anyone you had ever met. He knew his purpose for existing was to fight for what he deemed to be right. So much so, that he deemed a relationship with you a waste of energy and time. After all, what if you were to die? He’d never be a good pilot after that. He’d never be as good of a resource as the resistance needed him to be. So as ruthlessly and heartlessly as he could, he abandoned you. Every moment Kylo watched meant absolutely nothing to Poe Dameron, the pilot leaving you without a second thought. It was then Kylo left your mind, your head spinning as you both returned to a brutal reality. Your waterline was flooded with tears, your gaze focused on anywhere but Kylo’s face.

He stared down at you, releasing your face. “Torturing you isn’t going to get me what I need,” He said emotionlessly. You avoided his gaze, hot tears streaming down your cheeks. You hated how degraded you felt, humiliated by the warlord before you. With the flick of Kylo’s hand he used the force to undo your restraints, raising the table and forcing you onto your feet. You briefly stumbled, his gloved hand grabbing you and pushing you against the closest wall. His eyes bored down into yours, his touch harsh as he chose his next words carefully. “A factor you haven’t considered, is a fair exchange. I give you what you want more than anything else and you give me the same,” He says slowly. You swallow as you await his next words, your lips cracked as you slowly open them.

“W-What-”

“Don’t play coy with me. You want nothing more in this life than to feel loved. I can make that happen, you know I can. Then you’ll give me what I want in return,” Kylo says, glancing down at your lips. You shivered in fear and flusteredness as Kylo attempted to be gentle, shoving some stray hairs behind your ear. “I can read your mind, you know. I can see right through you. I can see your fears, your memories. But most importantly, I can see your filthy desires,” He whispered, leaning in close to your ear. You freeze as he smirks, relishing in the feeling of your fear.

“Little solider girl wants nothing more in this life than be ruthlessly fucked, is that right? To be treated like a worthless whore?” Kylo purrs, his breath hot against your skin. His gloved hand finds its place on your neck, holding you steady. “Submit to me. Give in,” He growls. He can feel his own desires washing over him, his body fizzling in anticipation. “Just say the word and i’ll make you feel so good, you’ll forget Poe Dameron ever existed,” Kylo continues. He knows what word you want to say. He can see how badly you want him. It’s evident in not only your flushed face, but your loud and filthy mind.

“Please.”

Your voice is barely above a whisper, your heart pounding. Kylo knows you haven’t been with anyone since Poe, your guarded heart not allowing it. He smirks as he uses the force to undress you, unmoving as the cold air creates goosebumps across your skin. Once you’re fully exposed he takes a step back, admiring your perky nipples and exposed form. You feel your face flush red. To you, sex is an intimate experience meant to be solely a love filled affair. Yet the primal gleam in Kylo’s eyes makes you feel different, your core throbbing with a different kind of desire. You were programmed to despise Kylo Ren and the ground he walks on. To, in any situation, blast him until he doesn’t move.

Yet you stand before him naked, desperate to be touched. Kylo takes a step back, soaking in your form. He forces you to sit on the ledge of the window, using the force to spread your legs. “Go on, amuse me. Touch yourself for me,” He orders, staring down at you like you’re a piece of meat. You gulp nervously as you lick the pads of your index and middle finger, before bringing them to your core. Kylo refrains from smirking at this action, your cunt glistening in the relentless bright lights. You begin to sheepishly circle your neglected clit, forcing yourself to maintain eye contact with the man before you. Your cunt is so wet it takes everything in Kylo to not pick you up and use you as a cocksleeve. Instead he wants to savor this, soaking in the sight of a rebel humiliating herself for his amusement.

You go to dip your fingers into your entrance but Kylo stops you. “I didn’t say to do that. Keep circling that pretty little clit of yours,” He orders. The sternness in his voice sends a chill down your spine, your fingers slowly circling your sensitive bud. Abruptly Kylo rewards your obedience, the feeling of two thick fingers plunging into your cunt. Kylo himself is still feet away, watching as he uses the force to finger fuck you. You can feel the fingers curling upwards, stretching you out while brushing against your g spot. “O-Oh fuck, Kylo-” You babble, choking on your own words. The sight of seeing nothing there, while Kylo cockily watches, only makes your core throb much more intensively. “Does that feel good? Falling apart before me for my entertainment?” Kylo ask, tilting his head to the side mockingly. He watches your hips rut into nothing, sinful whimpers escaping your lips.

This is all you should really want. Is to feel humiliated and to feel good from doing so. Kylo knows this what you want, which is why your next statement puzzles him.

“P-Please, cmere, wanna feel you-” You whine, barely able to keep up with the feeling of being finger fucked into oblivion. Kylo’s hardened expression falters for a moment, before he regains it. He ignores the way a spark ignited within him, his feet carrying him to you. He picks you up, your legs wrapping around his waist as he sets you on the metal table. Hesitantly he leans in, his gloved hand cupping your face. He can feel your breath hitch as he finally leans in, placing his lips against yours. This kiss feels different. Far different than any you had shared with Poe. You know this. Kylo knows this. You both want to chop it up to the heat of the moment. Two ruthless fighters being touch starved. Truthfully, maybe that’s all it was. But you knew better, your mind swirling as you passionately struggled to keep up with his eager lips.

He needed you, just as bad as you needed him.

Kylo allowed himself to give in, undoing his pants and cupping your breast. His gloved hands explored your body, worshipping each inch of your skin. No lover had ever made him feel so alive before, his cock brushing against your entrance. You struggled to keep up with the desperation that was behind his kisses as you grabbed his cock, desperately guiding it into of you. Both of you let out a groan in unison as he slowly slid inside of you, your walls clinging to him. You moaned into his mouth, his gloved hand finding its way to your throat. He squeezed your airway, watching your mouth drop into the shape of an O as he bottomed out inside of you. Kylo snickered as he read your thoughts, grinning in sick satisfaction.

“Im that much bigger than him?”

He moaned as your walls fluttered around him, the sound heavenly to your ears. You stared in the eyes of your enemy, sinful noises escaping your lips as he began to move his hips. “You like this? Hmm? Being used by your enemy for nothing more than my pleasure?” Kylo asked, his voice deeper than normal as he rutted into you. You grabbed his wrist for support, struggling to keep up as he fucked you properly. His gloved hands found their way to your ass, your legs wrapping around his waist as he picked you up as if you weighed nothing. You couldn’t control your strangled moans as he used you like a fuck toy, your hands grabbing his shoulders.

“A filthy cock sleeve, falling apart on my cock. You’re a worthless whore, aren’t you rebel scum?” Kylo seethed, fucking into you ruthlessly. All of his anger and frustrations were taken out on your poor cunt, your body going limp as you let him use you as he pleased. “Please don’t stop, fuck fuck fuck,” You whined, his cock abusing your g spot. You felt a knot form in your stomach, your orgasm threatening to come sooner than planned. Kylo sensed this, using the force to grab your face and force you look at him. “Not yet, not fuckin yet you pathetic whore,” Kylo snarled. Your body craved for release, your nails digging into his suit. “Feels so good,” You panted, your heart pounding in your chest. Kylo’s thrust never let up, his stamina one you couldn’t have imagined. Your vision grew more dazed, your body growing limp.

“I bet it does,” He smirked, feeling your walls clench around him. He slammed your body into a nearby wall, knocking the air out of your lungs. “Go on, cum for me. Cum on my fuckin cock like the good little cock sleeve you are,” Kylo ordered. Your body came on command, euphoria washing over you as your legs trembled. Your walls spasmed around his shaft, his cock filling your womb to the brim with his cum as he released. The two of you were panting messes, the warlord burying his face in the crook of your neck. It’s then you realize that you had no information Kylo wanted, none at all. You weren’t a high ranking general or pilot. You were nothing but an insignificant soldier knowing nothing beyond the bare minimum. Kylo knew this as well, sensing you had caught on. He wanted you just as bad as you wanted him.

As gentle as he could muster he pulled you against his chest, stroking your back.

“Let’s get you cleaned up and i’ll send you home.”

Those words were the last thing you heard, before falling into a deep and enticing sleep.

#kylo ren x you #kylo ren smut #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren #ben solo #ben solo smut #ben solo x reader #ben solo x oc #kylo ren x y/n #kylo ren x oc #kylo ren x rey #star wars #star wars smut

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rynwritesstuff · 5 months ago

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Nosferatu - Kylo Ren x Reader

Vampire!Kylo Ren x Reader

Warnings: NSFW, PIV sex, blood-sucking, brief mention of death, and a deep eternal bond between Reader and Kylo (duh)

Word Count: 1.3k

Summary: You and a mysterious man - or creature - from beyond share a passionate, lustful evening together. (Heavily inspired by Nosferatu)

“Come to me.”

Thunder claps and booms outside. The rain falls, heavy as hooves against a paved road. Midnight approaches, a massive and dark blanket falling over the town. The window of your bedroom is open, your arms outstretched as if to say: I am here. I am open. I am ready.

Ready, you are, for whatever he may give you tonight. You ache for it, long for it like a man starved and thirsty. Many a time you have gotten drunk off of his touch, and you picture him now, above you with wide eyes like a beast in the night who has caught his prey. His hair, long and dark and wavy – like a black halo around his pale face. His eyes, brown and unshining as they stare into yours. His nose, his cheeks, his forehead – unflushed and white yet still so touchable, so easy to need.

He is not always nude when he comes to you, but whenever he seems to be, it is something that you savor. You remember the taste of him and bring two of your own fingers to your mouth. You rest them on your tongue. They are heavy when you press down, and your lips close around them. You hunger for him, for the way he makes you feel. What you wouldn’t give, now, to feel those large, cold hands on your breasts, on your cheeks, around your throat . . .

The lawn in the back of the home is well-manicured, trimmed to perfection, but the wind blows leaves and flowers to and fro across it. There is a fountain in the center of the green grass. Rose bushes surround it on both sides, and as you open your eyes and stare out into the wet night, you feel it – you feel him.

His presence washes over you suddenly, so suddenly that you gasp for breath and pull your fingers from your mouth. Sweet air rushes into your lungs, and a chill runs down your back. However cold it may be, though, it does not diminish the heat between your thighs. The knowledge that he is here, that he sees you . . . It is enough to make your core flood.

Tree branches scrape against the side of the house angrily, but you pay them no mind. He is here. Here.

Your Kylo Ren.

The ground is wet and cold beneath you. How you got here, you aren’t sure. Your nightgown sticks to you as rain pours from the Heavens. He is coming. You press your hands against the grass as rain water soaks into your clothing from the ground. Your hand moves down your body; over your throat, over your breasts, down your stomach–

He is on you. You gasp, eyes wide with terror and arousal. Kylo Ren’s bare, cold body straddles yours, and when you try to move your hand, you realize that he has you in his grasp.

“You are not for the living,” comes his deep voice. Your breath hitches as Kylo presses his hands against your thighs. He slides his hands up, up, up, and with his movement, your nightgown slides up as well. “You are not for humankind.”

Your bottom lip trembles.

What an endeavor this is. What sin, what joy. What luck it is that you have this at all. You hardly feel the rain against your face, now. It seems to no longer touch you now that Kylo has thrust himself upon you. You bring your hands up to touch his cheeks. He lets you.

“Kylo,” you breathe, voice barely audible above the thunder and lightning in the sky. If someone in the house were to look out into the yard, they would hardly see you. The rainfall is too persistent and steadfast for much to be visible through it. You are alone with Kylo Ren, alone amongst the dirt and grass and flowers.

His tip presses against your core – when did you spread your legs? – and you gasp again, head falling back. His hand comes to rest on your jaw. He holds you there as he presses in. You groan in pleasure, nipples hard from the freezing rain and the pleasure of it all. This is filthy, you know it. You are hardly sure if it’s real or if it’s simply a fantasy you’ve made up for yourself to lessen the pain of being alone, but God, if this is what gets you sent down to the Devil, then perhaps you’ll die pleased. Why see Heaven if erotic pleasures such as this cannot take place? This is worth it. This is worth everything.

“Kylo . . .” you moan as his body rocks above you. His hand slides from your jaw to your throat. He squeezes, and hazily, you groan again. Never have you ever felt so full, so complete. The Earth falls away from you. Are you floating, or just imagining it? Is Kylo real, or just a manifestation of all the dirty things you yearn for?

Oh, what silly questions. None of it matters. Not really. Not now, when his cock is deep inside of you. Dirt stains you – your nightgown, your skin, your hair – But no part of you cares. Perhaps this is what it is like to be buried, you think between thrusts. Heavy. Wet. Cold. Suffocating. Delicious.

Life, powerful and strange, seems to find a way. You hope that when you die, it will not be frightening. You reach up and cling to Kylo, taking handfuls of his dark curls as he grunts above you.

“Please,” you sob. “Please . . .”

“You shall be one with me ever-eternally,” Kylo tells you. Your heart swells. He needs you. You are his affliction. What good is a man without a woman? What needs are met? What joys are felt? What is the meaning of anything if Kylo Ren doesn’t have you? “Do you swear it?”

You pull at his hair. You need him. Whatever he will give tonight, you need it now. White hot pleasure fills you. You scream, but the thunder swallows it. He fills you, and the feeling of it makes your body lurch. His hands grip your breasts as you push your chest up.

“Do you swear it?” Kylo demands again. You feel as if your eyes have opened. Was there a time before him? Does any other man exist? You offer up your chest even further, and he rips open the front of your nightgown.

“I swear it,” you sigh. Kylo presses his face against the center of your chest, mouth open, and deep down you must know what is coming, because you run your fingers through his hair and pull him closer.

“My dearest love . . . I swear it.”

Teeth sink into your skin, and you gasp sharply as tears fill your eyes. Gulp. Gulp. Gulp. Your head is light, your body is numb. You moan softly as he pulls away and looks down at you. His hand goes to your cheek and wipes away the tears and raindrops.

“You cannot love,” you breathe. A realization, a prayer. Kylo’s mouth presses against yours firmly. You can taste your blood, metallic and warm against the coldness of him. Perhaps this is not a dream . . .

“I cannot,” he says. “Yet, I cannot be sated without you.”

You look into his eyes and hold his cheek. You believe him. A scar runs down the side of his face, and you wonder just how long it has been since this scar was fresh. Somehow, you cannot bring yourself to care about whatever the answer may be.

“I am yours, just as you are mine,” you say, nodding. Kylo kisses you once more. You close your eyes. The rain is falling against your face again, sharp and chilled. You feel as if you sink against the ground, falling further into the grass. You open your eyes and see nothing but the fountain, the rose bushes, the leaf-strewn lawn. You sit up, soaked from the storm, your heart pounding against your chest.

Your chest. You look down. Yes, your nightgown is still torn open. Yes, your skin has been punctured by teeth that must have been hungry and ready.

Oh, yes, it was real.

Tagging a few vampire-loving friends: @safarigirlsp @babbushka @mrs-gucci

Divider by saradika-graphics

rynwritesstuff, 2025

#rynwritesstuff #adcu #kylo ren #kylo x reader #kylo ren smut #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren x you #nosferatu #nosferatu 2024 #nosferatu movie #nosferatu x reader #kylo ren fanfiction #kylo ren fic #kylo ren x reader fanfiction #my writing

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earlgreydream · 1 month ago

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𝐁𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐇𝐚𝐭𝐞. || 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐫!𝐊𝐲𝐥𝐨 𝐑𝐞𝐧 𝐗 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐦𝐮𝐭

@earlgreydream x @little-diable

𝐇𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝟒𝐭𝐡! 𝐈𝐭’𝐬 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐝𝐚𝐲, 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐦𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐂𝐡𝐢 𝐰𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞, 𝐊𝐲𝐥𝐨 𝐑𝐞𝐧. 𝐖𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐲 𝐚𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬, 𝐦𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐜𝐞 𝐛𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮!

She tried to pay attention to Professor Kylo Ren, though her efforts weren’t doing much good. The seminar was coming up on three hours, the classroom air was stuffy, and a fluorescent lightbulb flickered overhead. It was already dark outside, the blackness in the windows reflecting back the image of an irritable professor and disinterested grad students.

The lecture that droned on bored Y/N, the professor’s gorgeous appearance far more captivating than any medieval history lesson he insisted on dragging out. It wasn’t that he was a bad professor, it was that he seemed to hate her, and she seemed to hate him all the same. The handsome man was stern, demanding perfection in a way that nobody could ever live up to. His punishing scowl was even more famous in the university than he himself, one she was all too familiar with.

“Do you have anything to add, Miss Y/N?” The sound of your name on Kylo’s lips snapped her back into reality, her lips parting in a frustrated huff.

“Only that I think this lecture is worse than the black death,” you snarked, earning a few shocked giggles from her peers that would never dare disrespect Professor Ren.

Kylo crossed his arms over his broad chest, leaning back against the edge of his desk, a dark glare locked on the student that he loathed. A sharp bolt of electricity shot through his nerves at the sight of Y/N’s smirk, making him even angrier. He forced himself not to think about how he truly desired to correct your disrespect, to force you into submission.

“Quite pleased with yourself, are you? Everyone is dismissed except Y/N,” he barked, students immediately rushing out of the suffocating classroom.

“I have places to be, professor,” Y/N stood, slipping her laptop into her bag, ignoring his order to stay behind.

“Why do you have to have such a fucking attitude with me?” Kylo snapped, fed up with being dismissed.

“Why do you have to be such a —”

“Kylo, are you able to discuss the findings for our upcoming conference?” Professor Djarin called from the doorway, interrupting the two’s brewing argument.

Kylo cleared his throat, standing up straight off of the desk and giving Y/N one last scathing glare.

“Of course, let’s head to my office.”

“Goodnight, Professor Ren,” Y/N spoke, her sweet voice dripping with poison as she swept past him.

Ever since she had left the classroom behind, Y/N hadn’t been able to stop thinking of her professor. Stars, she hated him, he was undoubtedly the worst of them all, and yet something about him pulled her in. Something she cursed whenever she noticed her wandering thoughts.

With a groan, she plopped down on her bed, eyes closed to try and work through her thoughts. She detested him, hated him more than words could ever express, but maker, he was handsome. Even Y/N could admit that much.

Perhaps she had even touched herself to the thought of him once or twice before - okay, a lot more than that. But a few wandering thoughts didn’t seem to hurt, and most importantly they didn’t stop her hatred from spiralling. And hatred is what she needed to survive his boring course and the homework he didn’t even seem to correct.

She reached for her phone, staring at the screen while hitting up one of her friends, desperate for some kind of distraction. Perhaps some clubbing could force her thoughts to let go of the annoying professor, or even a house party where she could link up with those she hadn’t seen in a few weeks.

It only took her friend a few minutes to reply and to send her the details of their meeting spot. Y/N couldn’t stop her grin from widening as she rose to her feet once again, leaving the comfort of her bed to find something good to wear. Her fingertips stroked along a few dresses and skirts until she settled on an outfit she had worn in class a few weeks ago.

Back then Professor Ren had murmured something about the inappropriateness of her clothes, which seemed to be exactly what she needed. Her eyes studied her reflection in the mirror as Y/N dressed herself and retouched her makeup, filled by an all too familiar giddiness she didn’t want to shake until enough alcohol could loosen up her system.

The chilly air wrapped itself around her as she left her home and made her way towards the home where she’d meet her friend.

Y/N was barely ten steps in the house before her best friend was putting a shot in her hand. The pink whitney burned going down, but at this point she’d drink almost anything to shake the frustration of her graduate class.

“Another?” A shooter was held out, dangling from a girl’s hand, calling to her like siren.

“Fuck it,” Y/N cheered before swallowing.

Bad pop music from the 2010’s was blaring from someone’s speaker as five already tipsy girls all tried to fix their hair in the bathroom mirror. Someone had shouted that the uber would arrive in three minutes to escort the group downtown, where they’d crawl from club to bar until nobody could stand.

Y/N didn’t have anything to lose — Professor Ren’s class had already been cancelled in the morning, likely him throwing a tantrum at her attitude. That left a night of debauchery on the table with nowhere to drag a hungover body to in the a.m.

She hardly remembered getting downstairs, registering that she was squeezed into the back of an uber with her friends, taking a short hit off of someone’s vape being passed around the party.

“That was bad ass of you in class today, Y/N!” One of Professor Ren’s haters called over the music.

“Yeah! He looked like he wanted to choke you!” Another chimed in innocently.

Though the words were just an expression, it twisted Y/N’s stomach into a knot. The image of Kylo’s hand around her throat left her shifting in her seat, suddenly far too warm in the skimpy dress that squeezed her figure.

A couple sips from a flask in the club’s queue, and Y/N was all too emboldened by the alcohol to think straight. She awkwardly made her way down a flight of stairs in an alley, into the club that was pulsing with blue and purple lights. The bass throbbed in her body, jarring her skeleton with every unsteady step.

As much as she had hoped that her drunk mind could distract her from Kylo and her wandering thoughts, they only seemed to grow more intense with every passing minute. She needed a breather, desperate for some cold air to be sucked into her aching lungs. Y/N pushed through the body of dancing people, barely able to see where her feet were taking her until she finally managed to step out into the cold.

Her body took her a few more steps away from the loud music before she sat down on the sidewalk, knees pressed to her chest. Deep breaths were inhaled into her shaking body, hands pressed to her warm cheeks to try and ground herself.

Perhaps she needed to get home, set on sleeping the day away until her hangover would be awful enough to curse herself out. Perhaps she needed a few calmer moments to shake all the confusing thoughts and the hatred that seemed to wander up her throat like bile rising.

“Miss Y/N?” She froze, eyes squeezed shut for a second. And then all too slowly she managed to look up at him. Kylo was towering over her, hands pushed into the pockets of his jacket, height all too towering.

“Fuck me.”

Kylo scoffed at the profane greeting, no more happy to see her than she was to see him. Y/N put her hand out, trying to balance to pull herself to her feet, only making it halfway up before falling back down on the hard concrete sidewalk.

“Jesus Christ, you’re messy,” Kylo sighed, reaching down and gripping her forearms, pulling her to her feet.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Y/N sneered, putting her hands on his chest — intending to shove him off, though the second her palms were pressed to the strong muscles, her body forgot that this was the man she hated.

“Getting a drink after how much shit you put me through,” he shot back, going to let go until she started to wobble in her heels.

“You… you can’t get away from me. You’re here because you want to fuck me, you creep.”

Kylo knew it was the drunk ramblings of an angry student, but the words were vicious, creeping their way down his spine. He hated the satisfied smirk on her face, knowing that the stupid words had gotten under his skin.

“You’re the one who hasn’t taken your hands off of my chest,” Kylo’s voice was low, his dark eyes boring into her as if he could read every filthy thought, see every memory of her touching herself to the thought of him.

She was too far gone to react to his bickering, eyes getting lost in his darkening ones. Y/N hated the power he held over her, how he managed to draw her in with one simple glance that only fuelled the hatred she felt.

“Fuck, look at you, you can barely stand straight. How are you getting home?” It seemed to do the trick, successfully pulling her out of her trance and away from him. She stumbled a step back, struggling to hold her balance as his hands shot forward to stabilise her.

“That’s none of your concern, Professor.” He rolled his eyes at the tremble of her voice, staring down at her for a few more seconds before letting go of a sigh. Without speaking a warning, he picked her up to throw her over his shoulder.

Y/N screeched but he didn’t seem to care about her protest as he kept walking. He didn’t even reply to the question of where he was taking her, all he did was walk until he came to a halt in front of a black SUV, open the door and gently though urgently placing her down on the seat.

“Where the fuck are you taking me?” He started the car seconds later, letting the child safety locks snap in place before she could even think of ripping the door open again. Kylo kept quiet for a moment, he pulled out of his parking space and began driving down the dark road, letting darkness swallow them both wholly.

“I’m taking you back to mine, I mean, look at you, such an embarrassment.” Heat flushed through her body at his biting tone, making her tremble in anger. But she kept quiet, having to sort through her thoughts as he kept driving. What was she even doing? The man she had tried to escape from was the knight in shining armour now. What a fuck up.

Only as Kylo parked the car in front of a modern house did she snap out of her trance. Wordlessly she undid her seatbelt and watched him round the car to help her step out into the cold night.

Kylo opened the door, waiting for Y/N to step out of the SUV of her own volition.

“Come on, it’s fucking cold out here!” He snapped impatiently, hauling her out himself, tired of her defiant stare.

She stopped screeching for a moment to take in the massive modern castle — double height ceilings making way for elaborate pieces of artwork and sculpture, just as dark and mysterious as him. Y/N was set down so he could lock the door behind him, taking the opportunity to rip the heels off of her feet. She tossed them drunkenly beside the door, not caring where they ended up, earning yet another curse from her knight.

“This is your house?” She questioned, stumbling forward, inviting herself to explore.

“Obviously.”

Kylo watched her, hair falling out of the ties to frame her face, normally fiery eyes slightly glazed over from the alcohol. She was such a force in the classroom, a viper daring him to come closer, waiting for the opportunity to strike and poison. But here, in his home in the middle of the night, she was harmless, pathetic, even as she swayed as if the earth meant to swallow her up.

He’d followed her into the kitchen, something straight out of a Food Network set. She leaned against the marble island, dropping her phone onto the surface. Kylo was on her in an instant, his body towering over hers, hands on both sides, trapping his prey.

She looked up, staring at him for a terribly long moment before her hand threaded into his black hair, dragging him down into a messy, angry, desperate kiss. Every nerve in Kylo’s body woke, reacting to her touch, the feel of her lips against his, and the taste of whiskey on her tongue.

“Fuck,” Y/N gasped softly, breaking away as he grabbed her waist to lift her onto the countertop.

Her dress rode up around her hips, knees parting to make room for Kylo as he dragged her back to him, gripping her throat with his large hand.

“You need to learn your place and stop fucking embarrassing yourself,” he hissed, his teeth sharp against the crest of her ear.

She grabbed his free hand, bringing it to the flimsy panties she wore, letting him feel what the brief encounter had already done to her.

“I think you like seeing me like that, professor.” Her teasing words made him groan against her lips, only deepening the kiss. For a moment, nothing but his wander touch mattered, fuelled by their tension and need for one another. Big, cold fingers pushed her panties aside to brush them through her slit, covering her pulsing bundle of nerves with her arousal.

“You’re a fucking slut, you know that? Whoring yourself out to a professor whose life you keep making miserable.” A cry tore through Y/N as he pushed a finger into her, letting her walls spread around him. She trembled, she cried, she was ready to let go even as he kept mumbling degrading words.

It was pathetic almost with how close she was to letting go already, but his touch gave her something she had been aching for ever since meeting him. She didn’t even care if he could tell what he was doing to her, all she wanted to focus on was the orgasm clashing through her without another warning.

Y/N choked on her cry, head rolling forward to rest against his broad chest. Kylo kept moving his fingers, prolonging the sensation for a few more seconds before finally pulling away from her, “So, what will it be? If you want me to fuck you, you’ll need to beg for it.”

Something between a scream and a groan escaped Y/Ns lips. Kylo wasn’t about to give her anything without humiliating her first, to make this as painful as possible. Under normal circumstances, she’d leave, but now, her cunt aching and desperate, she would do anything for relief.

“Please fuck me, I need you,” Y/N whined, looking up at Kylo with wide eyes.

“What are you?” His lips almost pulled into a smile, pleased with himself as he studied the dark patch that was only growing on her panties.

“I’m a fucking slut, and I want you to fuck me,” she forced out the words, tears threatening to spill from her lashes.

“That’s right. This is for my pleasure, not yours!”

In an instant, Kylo dragged her off the countertop before flipping her around to face away. He bent Y/N over the cold marble, pushing her head down and the fabric out of the way.

“Jesus, you’re fucking soaked. You have no shame, do you?”

When she tried to speak, he shoved two of his fingers in her mouth, silencing any protest. Hatred burned almost as bright as the lust she’d become enslaved to. It took everything — her dignity, her sense of self — until she was being railed over the counter in her enemy’s kitchen.

Kylo’s hand muffled her scream as he fucked into her sopping entrance, her walls stretching to accommodate his size, dragging along every vein. Y/N’s eyes rolled back into her head, fingers clawing helplessly at the marble as he hit the spot inside that left her seeing stars. Every thought fractured into pieces, leaving nothing but the overwhelming sensation of pleasure as Kylo bruises her hips against the stone.

“Kylo, fuck!” Y/N yelled as he brought his hands down to her waist, gripping the soft flesh in his fingers, pulling her body back to meet his, forcing himself impossibly deeper.

“Such a slut for me. I like you much better like this than running your mouth and being a brat.” He emphasized the last word by slapping her ass, leaving a handprint that would remind her of her shame for days.

She wanted to speak up, wanted to throw the mean words right back at him, but she couldn’t. No longer did she remember the simplest words, mind only focused on the feeling of taking his cock. He kept impaling her on him, ripping her apart with every thrust that only grew rougher and faster.

“Please,” it was the only thing she could whimper, hating that her body was giving into his every command. He had won the upper hand, had forced her to kneel for him as he took what he was aching for - again and again.

“Please what? What is it that you want, huh?” Darkness wrapped itself around her as Y/N pressed her eyes shut. Perhaps she’d finally find the strength to say something, to push back with the same spite he seemed to master. But she couldn’t, fuelled by shame, defeat, and a burning hot lust.

“Let me cum, fuck, please.” Her orgasm was about to rip through her, making tears well up in her eyes. Kylo kept quiet, he only let go of an excited hum the second his big hand found her throat, cutting off most of her airstream. Y/N’s eyes snapped open, focusing on the big window that offered a reflection of their linked up bodies.

It was a sight so sinful, she couldn’t help but let go. Kylo kept fucking into her from behind, pushing her through her intense orgasm to get his own fill.

Tears were streaked down her face, her body shuddering with shocks of overstimulation. The reflection in the glass was pathetic, fingers weakly clawing at the counter, trying to escape the man who was pumping her full of his seed until it was leaking down her thighs. Kylo’s hand was still heavy on her throat, even as he finally pulled out of her, watching his mess drip from her.

“Kylo,” she finally gasped out when his hand was off her neck, struggling to push herself up on her elbows.

He ignored the way she whimpered his name, pulling his black boxers up and lighting a cigarette. He leaned back against the opposite counter, watching as she tried to collect herself, forced to soak in the filth of her lust. To Kylo, she’d never looked better — eyes red and wet, legs trembling, and her smart mouth finally shut.

“Look at yourself,” he shook his head slowly before taking a long drag.

Y/N pulled her dress down and wiped her eyes with the back of her hands, trying to save the last glimpse of her dignity. It was exposing, being under the hard stare of his brown eyes, his cock still half hard and feeling his cum smearing between her legs.

“Not running your mouth for once,” he mocked when she didn’t answer, wordlessly turning to the dark window. “The bathroom is down the hallway, clean yourself up before you leave, will you?”

Her breath hitched in her chest, wide eyes snapping back to his as if she didn’t believe the words he’d just spoken. But Kylo didn’t say another word, didn’t even offer her another glance as he poured himself a glass of water and then disappeared from her sight.

Trembling legs forced her to move, to find the dark bathroom. Y/N couldn’t look at her reflection as tears blurred her vision once again, feeling even more humiliated and angry than before. Of course he wouldn’t ask her to stay. Of course he wouldn’t drop their fight just once to make her feel somewhat comfortable after offering herself to him. Of course he was still the asshole she’d once sworn to hate.

Slowly, she stepped back into the quiet hallway. Her eyes moved along the walls for a second, giving him another second to reappear and to pull her back towards him. But he didn’t, he left her alone and confused as her aching body finally carried her out into the night.

#kylo ren #kylo ren smut #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren x yn #kylo ren fanfic #kylo ren oneshot #may the 4th be with you #may the force be with you #may the fourth be with you #star wars #star wars imagine #kylo ren au #adam driver

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pocketsofdaisy · 4 months ago

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“Do not speak to me as if we are familiar.”

Hunger flickers across his expression, eyeing her like a nectar-laced blossom, ripe for plucking. He only needs to peel back the petals. “I can be as familiar as you desire, my lady. Just say the word.”

“Give me your name—” she bellows, cheeks burning, “and only your name, serpent!”

At this, he sets his jaw before surging forward in a fluid, gliding motion. Several horses in the stable let out frightened neighs. He leaves no distance between them, till the sheer breadth of him covers her entirety in shadow. He stares down at her haughtily—a look of someone who has lived too long, seen too much.

“Do not shout, child,” he murmurs silkily. A warning. “It’s impolite.”

🐴🗡️🏰

presenting the stunning commission by the amazing, talented, wonderful, lovely @meetingyourmaker for my fic dulce periculum which depicts the scene of Death revealing his human form and name as Kylo Ren before the noblewoman Rey. The elements of horses on his robes and the rose borders are fantastic details that Maia translated from my work and her own interpretation and ideas and suggestions—so yes, my dear friends, i can confirm she is a genius!!!!!!!!

please enjoy and share the artist some love too 💕

—————

fic content warnings: • god of death kylo x mandalorian noblewoman rey • horse!kylo • medieval au • gothic romance vibes • DEATH IN LOVE • death and the maiden • dark fairytale with deities inspired by the Greek's Three Fates • wartime and domesticated animals • oppression of women • dry humping • also inspired by THAT ONE scene from the witch (2015) film 🍎

#reylo #reylo art #reylo fan art #reylo fanart #reyloart #reylofic #reylo fic #reylo fanfic #reylo fan fic #reylo au #pocketsofdaisy art #meetingyourmaker #i am not worthy of this art #ben solo x rey #rey x ben solo #kylo ren x rey #rey x kylo ren #REYLO FOREVER #my otp

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cowboygenesis · 2 months ago

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11: super silver haze | kylo ren x reader

part 11 of the "bump it, cool it" series: masterlist. | playlist

pairing: [modern!au] kylo ren x reader chapter warnings: TONS of explicit language, loud arguments, smoking (weed) (like, a lot). word count: 6.6k series summary: when your roommate’s older brother needs a place to crash, you begrudgingly offer up your couch— only to realize he’s the most insufferable, entitled asshole you’ve ever met. the worst part? you can’t seem to stop thinking about him. notes: holy shit you guys. this was a doozy, but we're finally climbing the precipice and inching toward the long-awaited CLIMAX. literally kicked my feet and giggled writing this, so ya'll. i pray i did this scene the justice it deserves. please let me know what you think, and as always, thank you so much for reading and supporting me ♥

Now Playing: Sunday Sermon - Booker T. & the M.G.'s

The room rolls with warmth, heavy with the scent of grape juice and resin. As you exhale, a thin stream of smoke flows through the dimness, rippling with technicolor.

“And what?” Poe utters lazily as you hand him the joint, his dark waves kept neat with a headband. “ He said no?”

“Dude, are you even listening?” Finn reprimands from the kitchen, shaking a pot against the stove. The smell of artificial butter fills the room, making your mouth water. “He said—”

“Not like this.” you cut your friend off, sinking into your velvet beanbag with an exasperated sigh as you recall those forbidden words. You’re uncertain if it’s sentiment or just the high, but the pit in your stomach makes you nauseated the second you’re reminded of the party.

You flip your head to the side, lazily meeting Poe’s gaze. His lips curl into that usual, half-hearted smile while he ponders your predicament.

“Such a romantic,” he finally shrugs, and you can’t quite tell if he’s being serious or not. His smile drops, and he looks at you in question. “Can I say that?”

You roll your eyes and tug at the strings of your sweatshirt. The broad hood contracts, trapping your scowling face within. “Whatever.”

“Whatever?” Finn echoes as he reenters the living room, holding a fresh bowl of popcorn. He sets it down on the low coffee table before joining you and Poe on the ground. When you peek your nose out to eye the men’s curious faces, you realize you’re not hungry anymore.

“I think I’m over it,” you finally sigh, leaning back against the beanbag as your friends begin shoveling into the kernels.

Poe snorts, chewing thoughtfully as you withdraw from your hood. “You’re absolutely not over it.”

“Uh-huh,” you scoff at his denial, mindlessly taking the joint from Finn’s hand when he passes it your way. Only a charred nub is left, but you bring it to your lips, anyway. As you inhale, you cringe at the heightened burn settling in your throat. “I want to be.”

The man quirks a brow, picking unpopped kernels from his palm and flicking them into the plastic trashcan. “Do you?”

The question settles into your swirling gut like a weight, making you groan in displeasure—because, after all, you don’t know the answer.

After finding out the story behind Sienna, you thought you had it all figured out. Kylo’s arrival, his inexplicable moods, and why he refused to be anything but a massive pain in your ass.

Except you knew that wasn’t all. This innocent crush you developed on your best friend’s older brother eventually blossomed into something completely untameable, and now? You felt stuck between a rock and a hard place.

You craved the lingering gazes, the teasing, his bold touches. You wanted to be around him, become the object of his attention. But you didn’t love him. It was a strong, terrifying word that neither of you were ready for.

But you did hate him.

You hated how he’d treat you like a confidant, only to pull away just as you found joy in the position. How he smiled so wide, then scowled with twice the force.

You hated how he made you feel wanted, just to choose the other woman.

“When is he moving out, by the way?” Finn pipes up, knocking you out of your rumination. When you turn toward him, he gives you a raised brow. You must have been scowling.

“I don’t know,” you utter quietly, relaxing your expression to calm any suspicion. “He’s not made any progress.”

“Wait,” Poe shakes his head in confusion, leaning over the coffee table to reach for the rolling papers. “Remind me why he’s crashing at yours in the first place?”

You sigh, toying with the beanbag’s loose threads as your friend fills his plastic grinder. “He’s moving. Or, he wants to move.”

“Can’t blame him one bit,” Finn groans, leaning back against the front of the couch. “Can you imagine living with your ex after finding out they cheated? Seeing them every day?”

“It’s so much worse than that,” you explain, earning looks from your two friends. You bite your bottom lip, gaze dropping to your lap. “He walked in on them.”

Finn stops mid-chew, while Poe’s jaw drops in shock. He quirks a brow at you as if disbelieving in the disrespect. “Dude.”

“Yeah, dude,” you laugh joylessly, crossing your arms. The image of Kylo’s sunken features plagues your mind, replaying that same conversation like a hellish mantra. You’re unsure if the pit in your stomach comes from anger or sympathy.

“But, I mean…” Finn trails, scooping another handful of popcorn. “In their own bedroom, too?”

Your lips flatten, glimpsing into the distance mournfully as you nod. The two men shake their heads in joined disbelief.

“Christ,” Poe mutters, continuing with his new joint. “No wonder the guy’s such a jackass.”

“Poe,” Finn reprimands, making his friend raise his hands defensively.

“Sorry, but it’s true!” he utters dramatically, gesturing toward you with bud-stained digits. “No matter how bad you’ve had it, you don’t just… You don’t just get to shove your grief onto other people. That’s not how it works.”

A silence follows, filled only by the muffled sound of 90’s hip-hop emitting from a small JBL speaker.

You want to be mad, but inexplicably, you’re not. The pit in your stomach expands, blooming into something soft around the edges and gooey in the center. You know it’s not hatred.

“Oh, god,” Poe gasps dramatically, making you meet his gaze with confusion. “You don’t blame him.”

Your eyes widen, matching the frustrated scowl lining your features. You shake your head in denial, but it comes a second too late for authenticity. “Poe—”

“I think you might even be empathizing with that motherfucker,” he trails loudly, watching your lips tighten once more. You’ve got nothing to say in defense, and your friend catches onto that immediately with the emerging curl of his mouth. “Holy shit, don’t tell me—”

“Stop,” you groan, rubbing your face into the meat of your palms. “I’m serious, Poe, I can’t handle this shit ri—”

“Maybe he doesn’t want to make any progress,” Finn cuts you off, making the two of you stop your bickering and face him with quirked brows.

You sigh, curbing your frustration before speaking again. “Go on.”

“I think he means that—”

“What I mean,” Finn gruffs out, shooting a sharp scowl toward Poe, “is he wants to stay.”

The latter nods severely, eyes wide as he speaks through a mouthful of kernels. “With you.”

You scoff, head shaking as you scan their expressions. Somehow, the conversation has sobered you up enough to realize they’re not fucking with you.

“Nonsense, I mean—that makes no sense.” you chuckle sardonically, hands twitching at your sides. “Right?”

The two men look at each other knowingly, then you.

“I don’t know,” Finn shrugs, tapping to the rhythm of the song that plays. “He’s hot and stacked. I don’t see how he’d have an issue finding something suitable.”

Poe scoffs, licking the joint shut at last. “I couldn’t couch surf for this long.”

Just as you’re about to speak, Finn cuts him off with a burst of disbelieving chuckles.

“Dude, except you have,” he reprimands. “Remember your Eurotrip? Berlin?”

Poe sucks his cheeks in with a hum, thinking for a moment before facing his friend with a pointed finger. “Don’t talk to me about Berlin.”

You sigh, leaning into your beanbag once more. Your friends’ conversation melts into the background, letting you clear your mind.

“He rejected me,” you finally shrug, voice low. “Plain and simple.”

“In his defence,” Finn purses his lips, placing the plastic bowl to the side. You watch him shift onto the couch, hands locked. “You could interpret those words in a dozen different ways.”

“I haven’t seen him since the party,” you sigh in exasperation, flailing a hand in the air. “He’s completely MIA.”

Poe nods in acknowledgment, placing the filter between his lips and palming the floor for his lighter. The other man focuses on you, eyeing the nervous way you drum your thigh.

“Does Rey know?” he finally questions, making you knit your brows. As if.

“He doesn’t tell Rey anything. When he leaves, it’s a compl—”

“No, I mean,” Finn cuts you off softly, swallowing thickly as he ponders over an appropriate way to address the concern. Poe watches him curiously, burning the tip of the rolling paper off.

“Does Rey know about your…” The man on the couch begins anew, fiddling with his digits. “Problem?”

Poe scoffs between inhales, motioning toward you lazily.

“It’s not a problem, she’s just horny.”

“Ugh,” you scowl, feigning nonchalance as your cheeks burn red at the bold statement. If only it weren’t true. “Stop saying that.”

“What?” he taunts, bloodshot eyes narrowed as he curls his lips into a devilish smirk. “Horny?”

“Alright,” you raise your palms defensively, quickly rocking your way out of the beanbag. As you stand, the two men glance up at you with worry. “I’m out.”

“Hey, I was kidding!” Poe cries out, shuffling to stand up. He does so haphazardly, swearing under his breath as he loses balance and stumbles into Finn’s knee.

“It’s not that,” you explain quietly, the weight of your anxiety knocking all humor out of the situation. “I promised Rey I’d take her suit to dry cleaning. She’s got some company event next week.”

While spending quality time with friends was generally a great way to get over a dumb crush, you suddenly dreaded needing to answer more pressing questions. You needed air, stat.

“Is she out of town?” Finn questions, his sudden interest making you smile joylessly.

“For a few days,” you nod with a shrug. “Seeing family again.”

Poe mutters something under his breath as he finally stumbles upwards, meeting you with a wild grin. “So it’s just you and Kylo at ho—”

“Zip it,” you warn smoothly, pointing a digit his way. “I’m so serious.”

“Alright, alright!” the man raises his hands in a dramatic display of defeat, sighing to steady his posture. His face shifts into something more sympathetic, dark eyebrows high on his forehead. “Want me to drive you?”

“You’d be a health hazard in your current state.” Finn scoffs from the couch, earning a lazy eye roll from his friend.

“At least I have a license.”

“I’ll take the subway,” you reassure with a polite smile, approaching the foyer to grab your jacket from the hangers before another argument erupts. “It’s chill.”

Poe trails after you, one hand in his pocket while the other wields the joint. “Suit yourself, baby.”

You whip your head toward him with furrowed brows and a smile, head tilted as you slide your shoes on. Even in the most off-beat moments, you’re reminded of Kylo Ren. “Is that a Jersey thing?”

Poe quirks a brow, his eyes narrowing like he’s trying to interpret a foreign language. “I’m not Jersey.”

You shake your head with a tart chuckle, reaching to pat your friend’s stubble-riddled cheek. You lean back, issuing Finn a quick wave. “See you.”

You hitch your bag on your shoulder and walk out the door, hearing Finn snickering from inside. “Stay safe, you two!”

“Don’t make me come back in there!” you yell back half-heartedly, earning another fit of giggles from the two men before the door finally slams shut.

As you descend the staircase, your smile shifts into a deep frown.

୨ৎ

You watch the pristinely ironed pantsuit with narrowed eyes, peeking at you behind a thin layer of protective plastic. It hangs from the curtain rod, swaying in the soft breeze like a business-casual ghost as you lean your back against the balcony railing.

You inhale the bittersweet resin, letting it warm your lungs before hurling it into a swirl of smoke. The Meters play softly from inside the apartment, elevating your approaching high.

If it were any other circumstances, you’d reprimand yourself for choosing another joint over sobriety. But today was special.

You were mourning the death of your fixation.

On your treacherous way home on the subway, you thought about facing Kylo again. It was there, squeezed between two other passengers at rush hour, that you had reached an epiphany.

Even now, it makes your throat burn with acid as you strain your eyes against the doorway of your home.

While you haven’t seen Kylo in over twenty-four hours, something primal made you feel like the meeting was approaching steadily. Then, once it was time, you’d finally tell him your feelings.

You’d tell Kylo Ren you hated his guts.

You twist around, resting your elbows against the cold balustrade. Your quaint neighborhood lies just below, humming with occasional passersby. In the distance lies the heart of the city, looming brightly over the watercolor-stained horizon.

As you puff smoke through your teeth, the front door clicks open.

Your jaw tightens, eyes wide when you realize you’re left no time to prepare. The sun has just begun to set, meaning he shouldn’t be home for another few hours. You bite worry your lip between your teeth. This wasn’t at all according to—

You hear the rustle of keys being tossed onto the console in the foyer, followed by the deep sigh of a man shedding the weight of the day. He starts with his shoes, shoving them off by the wall. Then comes the hefty leather jacket, tossed haphazardly against the couch’s headrest.

Your eyebrows furrow, fingers curling tightly around the joint as you lift it back to your chapped lips.

Soft, measured footsteps come from the living room.

You exhale, watching the smoke billow into the air against a backdrop of blue and orange. The next breath, you hold.

The footsteps stop at the balcony doorway, replaced by a single, quiet hum. It’s all too familiar, and while you’re severely tempted to face him, you know it’d be a bluff. So you persevere.

“Good evening,” he calls smoothly. You’ve barely gone a day in its absence, yet the sudden reappearance of his hoarse baritone is enough to send a crisp jolt down your spine.

You extend your stiff arms against the balustrade, trying to remain natural in your silence. You think he’ll keep going and make a nasty comment about your half-hearted outfit or your drug habit, but he doesn’t.

Kylo stands there in silence, looming. You imagine he’s leaning against the doorframe with a hellish smirk, awaiting your next move.

But you’re so, so tired of the games. And this time, you want him to know.

“When’d you get so stuck up?” you bark out, head shaking to amp up the hostility.

Naturally, Kylo chuckles at your antics. The low, reverberating sound heats your skin and boils your blood, until you realize what you had planned to do.

Just as you’re about to twist toward him, the footsteps pick up again. You still in place, breath quickened as you feel his presence loom over your flank in a few, short strides.

You force your head forward, deliberately dodging his gaze when he arrives in your peripheral. Despite the blurry image, your heart thrums at the umber silhouette framing his porcelain mein.

Your nostrils flare as he leans against the balustrade, matching your position while maintaining an appropriate distance. Somehow, that very fact makes you all the more frustrated with him.

Pine fills your nose, and you clench your jaw. Instantly, your fog-addled brain is flooded by visions of the sidewalk, a half-finished bottle of whiskey, and Kylo’s lips so achingly close to yours.

And then comes the aftermath, with Sienna’s vixen smile and Kylo’s dreadful rejection. For a moment, you think you might hurl. That ought to prove a point, at least.

Then, you feel something brush against your knuckles. The movement is brief, and before you can turn to look, Kylo’s picking the joint from your fingers.

You whip your head toward him, breath catching in your throat at the sight.

The joint hangs loosely from his plush lips, trapped behind a bittersweet smile. The ember glows as he inhales, cheeks hollowing to drag the smoke out. His eyes remain locked on yours like two dark pools of oblivion, flickering over your face before he exhales. The scent of burnt resin and pine tar lingers in your nose, its warmth hitting you like a sly taunt.

Your fingers twitch at your sides. “I don’t remember offering.”

Kylo hums, tipping his head back.

“Are you avoiding me?” Kylo questions instead, his tone low and devoid of substance. Your eyes roll at the implication, already exhausted at having the blame pinned on you. If you knew better, you’d tear the joint from his hand, tell him to fuck off, and storm off—but instead, you dig your nails into your palms with a labored huff.

“Avoiding you?” you scoff as a trickling burn settles in your chest. “Some nerve you’ve got.”

He takes another long drag before passing the joint back to you. You take it from his hand slowly, prudent enough to keep a distance.

As you place the filter between your lips, you realize it’s still moist. You know you shouldn’t lose your mind over such a meaningless, juvenile thing, but the sensation makes you tense your abs with something indescribable.

“So you aren’t?” the man continues, and you sigh. Even if he’s just asking to torment you, you know that the quickest way out is through.

“No,” you mumble lowly, settling your gaze into the distance without a particle focus. “I’m not.”

Your answer is stern and simple, but seems to satisfy Kylo just enough for him to hum in acknowledgment. You feel him shuffle at your side, shifting his weight deeper against the balustrade.

“Are you upset with me?”

“You sound like a needy child,” you scoff again, but his question gets you thinking. While you wouldn’t use that particular word to describe your severely complex feelings toward Kylo, it’s a good place to start. “I’m always upset with you.”

He hums again, craning his neck to look at you. “Why?”

His voice is flat but not as empty as before. The lack of his usual dry humor lacing the edges makes you feel like there’s a semblance of authenticity to the question, yet you can’t bring yourself to give him that same courtesy.

Your eyes flicker toward him, taking in his lazy smile and lax eyebrows. “You’re a pain in my ass.”

He scoffs this time, nostrils flaring. “I think you like it.”

The accusation, albeit frivolous, carries stones into your stomach. You inhale sharply and turn away again, fists clenched tight as you brace to lie your way out.

“Then you’re wrong.”

Yet again, Kylo doesn’t trail on. The silence stretches taut, pressing against your ribs like a tightening vice. You feel his gaze on you, but he offers little else—no quip, lazy smirks, or lazy provocation. Something in your chest caves at that.

Your jaw clenches, and before you can stop yourself from turning the conversation petty, the words tumble out like sand. “How was it?”

Kylo’s fingers flex against the railing, lips parting slightly before pressing into a thin line.

“The party,” you elaborate, pressing harsh emphasis on the words. You can’t hide the bitterness in your voice, no matter how hard you try to fight it. And he notices.

“Why are you asking?” he shifts toward you.

Your stomach shifts at his bellicose nonchalance, voice snappy when it comes. “Why do you think?”

“I don’t know,” he murmurs, head steady as he fervently chases your gaze. You don’t give in, so he continues. “Maybe because you enjoy torturing yourself.”

You let out a sharp, humorless laugh, finally shifting your attention toward him. As usual, there’s little for you to go off besides the occasional twitch of his lips. “Just drop the games.”

He huffs, inching his gaze away momentarily. You watch his lips tighten, and he finally faces you with a frown. “Is this about—”

“Why’d you say that?” you cut off, but the regret settles in almost immediately. Your nails dig into your palms, eyes narrowed as you curse yourself for following your curiosity. This wasn’t how things were supposed to go.

“What?” he questions quietly, slowly, like he’s giving you a way out. And despite everything you’ve sworn yourself to abandon, the next words fall from your lips unprompted.

“On the curb,” you croak, feeling your throat run dry. You’re unsure if it’s the weed or the bubbling whine threatening to rise to your mouth. “Why’d you say that?”

His breath is shallow like he’s just taken a hit to the ribs. His knuckles are white where they grip the railing, and for a second, you think you see something split behind his eyes. But it’s gone in a blink, swallowed up by that same infuriating restraint he’s been showcasing since the dawn of his arrival.

Your chest rises and falls, your own breath just as unsteady. The night air feels suffocating now, dense with the buzz of tension that’s been meandering between you for far too long.

"Say something," you demand, voice sharp and crackling.

Kylo shakes his head, bringing a palm up to rub his face. His eyebrows furrow microscopically, leaving small divots in his pale forehead.

“You were drunk.”

Your throat tightens, a bitter smile emerging at the curve of your lips. “And you weren’t?”

He doesn’t need to answer. Kylo had been drinking, sure, but not like you—not in a way that made his actions foggy or excusable. He had been coherent, steady, and calculating as always; whatever happened that night hadn’t been a mistake of impulse. There was no convenient excuse, no haze of intoxication for him to hide behind like you have.

And the worst part? He didn’t owe you anything. He never had.

“Not like you,” he mutters. His chin drops, gaze flickering downward like he can’t fully bring himself to look at you, as if facing your expression might be worse than whatever this is simmering between you.

A shaky breath flutters past your lips as you stare at him, blinking against the strain plowing through your chest.

In some perfect, utopian world, this would be comfortable. You’d get a clean rejection—a firm: ‘No, it meant nothing’, and that would be that. You’d nod, finish your joint on the balcony, then disappear into your room to cry for a reasonable amount of time for someone grieving their heartbreak. Kylo wouldn’t follow.

Things would settle—return to normal.

Or at least, as normal as they were before any of this ever saw the light of day.

But as you watch him now, your stomach knots with something sharp and agonizing curling beneath your ribs. Your eyes track over the little scar beneath his eyebrow, the dim smudge of stubble along his jaw, and the way his hair falls in reckless waves you want to touch, if only to see if they’re as soft as you’ve always imagined.

This is your moment. Your chance to let it die here and pretend none of it ever mattered.

And yet your fingers twitch at your sides, aching to move like it did. The words slip out before you can stop them.

“And if I wasn’t drunk?”

Kylo turns toward you, his expression breaking open with the first raw reaction you’ve seen from him all evening. His brows twitch upward, eyes widening just slightly at the bluntness of your words.

“What?”

You squeeze your eyes shut for a moment, inhaling deeply. The joint in your fingers has nearly burned itself out, forgotten in the poundage of your conversation. A trim loss in the grand scheme of things, you think.

“If I wasn’t drunk that night,” you repeat, voice enduring despite the wildfire bursting in your stomach. Every syllable is carefully weighed before you release it into the air between you, smoke curling from your lips as you watch Kylo’s countenance flicker between flippant, indistinguishable emotions. “Would you have done it?”

Finally, you’d learn whether Kylo Ren’s glances, touches, and his infuriating, insufferable behavior toward you had ever held any merit. If you’re particularly unlucky, he’ll return your advances. You’re unsure of what happens, then.

You stare into each other silently, breaths mingling. Anxiety prickles your stomach, coursing through your veins like a silent harbinger of doom.

Kylo’s eyes darken, filling with something you can’t fully interpret, before they inexplicably narrow with scorn. You taste bile.

“Don’t be stupid.”

Your stomach drops.

You think it shouldn’t hurt as much as it does. Kylo’s always been a bastard with cruel words, knowing exactly where to stick the knife to make it bleed the longest; yet something about this particular dismissal feels like a death toll.

The pang in your chest weaves through your lungs, squeezing and tugging like a serpent. A scoff tumbles past your lips before you can stop it. You lower your head, shielding your eyes before they can betray your falsified mein. “Right.”

You hear the sharp exhale he lets out at your tone, stepping from one foot to the other. When you finally glance up, his face is turned toward the horizon, the ascending evening sky casting its glow over his features. Warm, golden hues spill across the sharp planes of his face, bathing him in the coming of spring. Your heart swells.

And somehow, it’s that quiet pang of adoration that sets you off most.

Without another word, you pluck the spent joint from your fingers, flicking it into the plastic cup on the table.

“Is it because of her?” you ask steadily, watching the ember fizzle out in the shallow pool of water.

Kylo stiffens at the sharp edge in your voice, his jaw tightening as he angles his head toward the sky. You watch the muscles in his throat shift as he swallows thickly, face cast in light and shadow.

“No,” he finally croaks out, voice low and treacherous as your heart threatens to give out. “No—No, I was—”

“Then why?” You cut him off impatiently, voice breaking under the heavy weight of his ignorance. Pulled in too many directions at once, your chest aches with the pressure pulse of a frenzied drum against your ribs. “Why do you keep doing this?”

Kylo inhales sharply through his nose, fingers clenching into fists at his sides. He doesn’t look at you, his gaze locked somewhere in the distance, and judging by the way his nostrils flare, you know he’s just as furious as you are.

“It’s complicated.”

A bitter, disbelieving laugh bubbles up from your throat at the banal excuse. “Why? It doesn’t have—”

“But it is.” his voice is unyielding now, laced with a cold that prickles your skin.

You watch him with parted lips, his eyes flickering over your features with something you pray isn’t contempt.

He huffs, leaning his stiff shoulders against the railing.

“You don’t fucking know me.”

The words punch the air from your lungs, making you inhale sharply. You swallow, trying to fight the emerging sting behind your eyes as the self-pity within you shifts into a trembling fire of disdain.

"I just want the truth,” you mumble, voice flattening with impatience.

He looks at you with curiosity, but the tone of his reply simmers with an undeniable edge of contempt. "I gave you the truth."

"No,” you reply through a joyless chuckle, head shaking at his apparent stupor, “you gave me scraps. You gave me riddles and half-answers and the bare fucking minimum."

You watch his lips press together, eyes unmoving as a looming shadow. His secrecy has always driven you mad, but now? It feels like you’re at your wit’s end.

He exhales sharply, dragging a hand through his dark curls. They cascade down his neck, a stray lock falling into his face to frame the acerbity of his mein. "I told you it's complicated."

Your stomach twists, urging you to push harder. He wouldn’t get to play with you like that without a proper explanation, even if it meant the end of your non-friendship.

"Bullshit!” you hiss, voice laced with venom and an essence of doubt. You pause for a beat, surveying him through half-lidded eyes and taking in the lackluster expression painting his face. Your forehead pulsates. “You’re a coward, Ren."

His eyes snap to yours, dark and perilous at your daring proclamation. He scavenges your body from head to toe, sizing you up like a predator does his prey.

"Careful."

"Or what?" you spit through a scoff, pushing off the balustrade and raising your arms in a losing battle. "You’ll push me away?”

His jaw clenches. You catch his nostrils flare, fingers twitching.

“Because news flash, Kylo.” you trail bitterly, voice edging toward a strained yell. He watches you with surprising patience, dark pupils mirroring the brilliant sky. “You already fucking did."

His throat bobs as he swallows, body going wooden like he’s pushing himself to keep still. His fingers twitch again—like he wants to grab you, shake you, do something to break this damned tension once and for all.

Instead, he lets out a quiet, humorless laugh. “You act like I had a choice.”

Your jaw tightens, watching him with utter incredulity. While your belly rumbles with anger, you know that to a certain extent, you can’t deny his words. You don’t know much beyond the fact that he was cheated on and forced to live with his estranged sister. You’ve never known the details of his situation, or what keeps him coming back to the woman who irrevocably betrayed his trust.

He’s right.

You don’t know him.

Yet, that can’t keep you from probing for answers.

“Didn’t you?” you utter breathlessly, making his lip curl just enough to infuriate you further. He shakes his head, shooting you a cold scowl.

“Right, of course,” he scoffs, folding his arms as he faces you, “You know everything.”

You exhale in disbelief, planting your fists against your hips. “I know enough to know you’re being a fucking idiot about this.”

He exhales sharply through his nose, looking off to the side like he’s trying to physically restrain himself from saying something much worse. “Sure you do.”

“Oh, fuck off, Kylo,” your laugh is sharp and humorless when it leaves your lips. “You love talking in circles, don’t you? Like if you’re vague enough, you can get away with whatever the fuck you want.”

He finally turns back to you, empty expression betraying his otherwise razor-sharp tone. “God, why do you have to make everything about yourself?!”

Your arms drop to your sides as a sore chuckle escapes your throat. “Right. Because this has nothing to do with me.”

He shakes his head wildly, regurgitating a strained, joyless chuckle amidst the spread of his arms. “No! It really doesn’t!”

Your mouth cracks open at his careless expression, tone dropping an octave in a challenge. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me,” he continues asceribly, shifting side to side. “You’re always so fucking dramatic. Not everything is about you and yours! And—and if you’d just—”

“Oh, I’m dramatic?” Your voice pitches higher as you gesture wildly between the two of you. “You’re the one who starts shit and then gets pissed when I have the nerve to bite back!”

Kylo’s tongue pressed against the inside of his cheek, his patience wearing thin with every word you utter. You hear him mumble something before facing you with a strained gust. His sudden calmness scares you more than the initial storm.

“I start shit?”

Kylo takes a step forward, and instinctively, you take one back. You can feel the cool metal of the balcony railing pressing into your lower back, but you refuse to let that stop you. You wouldn’t back down from this, even if it meant getting your ass handed to you.

You cross your arms over your chest, chin lifting defiantly. “Yes, Kylo. You do.”

His eyes flicker over your stance, his lips twitching slightly like he’s resisting the urge to smirk—like this is all just some fucking game to him, while you’re over the precipice of losing your mind.

“You always do.”

He cocks his head, expression flat but demanding. The sardonic smirk emerging at the corners of his lips is hilariously ironic, like he’s proving your point without trying.

“Anything else?” he huffs with fabricated lethargy, striking you with a sharp glare.

Oh, fuck no.

Your breath shudders as the turmoil bubbles over, burning your throat as the words spill out.

“Yeah.” You exhale sharply, hands clenching into tight fists, though you’ve got nothing. Your body trembles with adrenaline, urging you to spit acid in any way you can. “Would it kill you to treat me with human decency?”

Kylo scoffs loudly, tilting his head back like the idea alone is too much for him to entertain.

“Right.” He takes another step closer, eyes hooded. “Because you’re such a sweet, innocent angel.”

Despite the venom lacing his tone, his choice of words makes your thighs squeeze. It’s an instinctive reaction that makes you shake your head, lips parting in utter disbelief.

“At least I try.” Your voice is sharp, eyes burning into his. You push forward, ignoring the heat rising in your body. “But—but every time I want to be a friend, you—”

“God—Will you fucking stop that for once?” Kylo snaps, cutting you off with harsh, unfriendly laughter.

Your brows knit together, lips hanging ajar at his hasty defiance. Your eyes scan across his features, taking in the odd glint in his eyes. Everything around you simmers with heat.

“What?”

He shakes his head incredulously, raking a hand through his hair again. When he speaks, his voice is tighter than ever, loud and final like a stray bullet.

“Trying—trying to act like we’re fucking friends.” He gestures vaguely between you, devoid of tenderness. He meets your gaze, eyebrows low on his forehead as he hisses your name. “We’re not friends. Never will be. At best, we tolerate each other, and even that comes with its shitty fucking surprises.”

Your heart slams in your chest, pulsating in your ears. Your mouth moves before your brain has the chance to catch up, filling the buzz of your sermon with unforgiving bite.

“God forbid someone gives a shit about you.”

Kylo’s expression blackens. His whole body stiffens a margin, towering above you like a rage-filled statue splayed in hues of orange and red. His scowl says it all. You know you’ve hit a nerve before he even utters.

But then he leans in, barking through gritted teeth and a labored breath:

“I don’t fucking need you to.”

Your breath catches harshly, scraping your vocal cords. You force yourself to hold his gaze. Heat and electricity simmer between you, raising the thin hairs at the back of your neck.

You moisten your lips, meeting the man’s gaze with half-lidded eyes. Pressure builds within your chest, fluttering through your arms and legs like a powerful, undeniable current.

“Good,” you start quietly, toying an ill-tempered smile against your lips, “Because I don’t.”

You take a step forward, straightening your back and sizing him up. He watches keenly, nostrils flaring as you poke a digit into the firm plane of his ribs. Kylo’s breath stutters, his chest rising and falling in quick, erratic beats.

You lean in, your voice faint, razor-thin, and laced with a fatal malignancy.

“I fucking hate you, Ben.”

Birds cry into the setting sun, cars honking in the distance while Shuggie Otis croons through the speakers inside. A soft spring breeze blows through the balcony, tousling Kylo’s dark locks as he peeks at you through dark lashes.

A bitter smile curves at the edge of his mouth, taunting you as always.

“Say it again.” He murmurs, unhurried and nearly cruel.

Your pulse slams against your ribs, matching the beat of percussion. His eyes are locked onto yours, dark and penetrating with this simple, impossible dare.

You swallow thickly, shifting your digit into a full palm. It lingers against his chest, sinking into the rhythmic thrum as you furrow your brows, bearing a fearless step closer.

You flare your nostrils, pushing up slightly onto your toes.

“Kylo,” you trail quietly, his breath hot and moist on your cheeks. You part your lips, trembling, preparing to nail the coffin shut forever under the slow, percolating flicker of his eyes as they survey your eyes, cheeks, the parting of your lips.

He hums. Your heart roars beneath your ribs, pleading in agony.

“I hate y—”

Kylo’s lips crash hungrily onto yours.

His hands gently clamp around your jaw, fingers threading into your scalp as his mouth slants over yours for easier access. The air between you vanishes, swallowed by the sharp, heady collision of lips and teeth scraping in a desperate dance.

The taste of him floods your senses with resin, smoke, and something hauntingly sweet and tender that you lap up with discomfiting greed. He nips at your bottom lip, pulling and kissing.

Your fingers curl into the soft fabric of his shirt instinctively, nails scraping against his chest as you push up against him—desperate and thoroughly enraged at the audacity of his measures.

A groan tumbles deep within his throat, low and sultry as it vibrates against your tongue. His grip tightens, pulling and all-consuming, like he wants nothing more than to brand you with his touch.

And for a moment, you think you’ll let him.

“Kylo,” you mewl, feeling his large hands roam over your cheek and neck. It snakes to your waist, inching under your tank top and splaying over the small of your back.

“Shh,” he hushes, his mouth sloppily ghosting along your jaw, then down the column of your throat. His teeth graze against your skin, lips chasing the mark with something almost worshipful. His palm slides higher beneath your shirt, fingertips grazing your ribcage, coaxing a shudder from your body as he holds you tightly against the railing.

You whimper softly, throwing an arm around his neck and leaning your head back to grant him access.

You should stop this, you think—push him away. But instead, your fingers tangle in the fabric of his shirt, pulling him closer, greedily wanting to feel more of him.

Until something shifts.

You’re caught up with his hold on you; like a porcelain doll, delicate and too precious to allow a break. His breath stutters when his lips brush over your pulse like he’s breathing new life, unraveling something irrevocably powerful.

It feels like giving in.

And suddenly, your resolve crumbles into nothing. Your body washes over with palpitating regret, urging your breath to catch at his tender nipping as he bucks his hips into yours.

Your hands flatten against his chest. “Kylo—”

He slows, lips lingering near your collarbone. His breath is heavy and warm against your skin as you give him a push, eliciting a soft moan from his plush lips.

A second passes. Then another.

He pulls back, dark eyes searching yours, obscured by something mildly animalistic. His grip loosens, sliding away from your body like he’s afraid of what he might do if he lingers.

The space between you stretches with a crackling silence. The city beyond hums with life, but all you can hear are your heavy breaths intermingling, lingering with the taste of each other.

You take a step back. Your throat tightens with the thousand things you want to say.

“I can’t,” is all you can utter, the whisper barely audible over the pounding in your ears.

Kylo exhales sharply, running a trembling hand through his disheveled hair. His lips are swollen with the semblance of your kiss, eyes burning with a plunging, living fire that penetrates your heart like hot daggers.

He calls your name. The word is sweet and languid on his tongue, lined with the kind of softness you’ve never been the fortunate prey of. His hand tenses mid-air, fingers flexing at the devastating sight of your gaze sinking away from his.

And then, without another word, you turn and slip inside, leaving him alone in the woeful finale of your favorite song.

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ncfan-1 · 12 days ago

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The thing of it is, the “Not my Luke!” criticisms leveled against TLJ never made much sense to me because the Luke we get in that movie is so recognizable to me as the Luke of the Original Trilogy.

At his worst, Luke in the OT is impulsive, arrogant, quick to anger and slow to come down from it. When discouraged, he becomes pessimistic and defeatist. When we see him overcoming these character flaws in ROTJ, it does not mean that these flaws no longer live inside of him; it means that he is choosing not to give them the power required to rule his actions and dominate his decision-making.

But a moment of triumph is just that: a moment. You have to live your whole life making sure that you don’t let the worst angels of your nature guide your decision-making, and no one is perfect. No one can always make decisions that aren’t guided by their own character flaws.

It was to my mind entirely plausible that after years of being able to sense Palpatine’s efforts to wear down child Ben’s resistance and, most likely years of Palpatine probably subtly influencing him as well, that Luke, known to be dangerously impulsive, might one night impulsively decide to take drastic measures to prevent “the next Darth Vader,” only to snap out of it once he was actually standing over his sleeping nephew and think to himself “What am I doing, this is crazy, he’s just a kid, he hasn’t even done anything and I’m going to kill him because: what? I think he has rancid vibes?”

And it was also entirely plausible that after everything he’d tried to accomplish comprehensively blew up in his face, that Luke would throw his hands up in the air, throw in the towel and say “I give up.” He had by that point devoted a significant portion of his life to trying to rebuild the Jedi Order, and the end result was that every last bit of work he had engaged in for the past fifteen odd years was reduced to ash and rubble. And he thought that it was his own nephew who had done it, to boot, thought that he had succeeded in creating the monster he feared would arise (Forever salty that Ben’s background as revealed in The Rise of Kylo Ren, in that he didn’t destroy Luke’s Temple, didn’t kill anyone who died that night, and didn’t truly fall to the Dark Side until years later was not at least touched upon in the movies but was instead relegated to a tie-in comic that a lot of movie-watchers will never read).

I think even people who do not become pessimistic and defeatist when discouraged would struggle to come back from that, would struggle to move on. I can see how Luke came to the conclusion that he had just been carrying on bad traditions, that it was all rotten to the core and none of it was worth salvaging, because he’d tried to make it better and look what happened! And then he needed a good hard jolt, a good hard paradigm shift to get him to see the brighter side of things again, just like he did in the OT.

Yeah, that was very much my Luke.

#I already know I'm gonna catch flack for this #because of the combo of defending TLJ and defending Luke as portrayed in TLJ #and I say: whatever #the happy sunshine smol bean Luke Skywalker fanon interpretation is way too prevalent #and I think fueled at least some of that backlash #I think a good part of the rest of it came from people who wanted to treat Luke like he's an action hero #Star Wars #TLJ #Luke Skywalker

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cheemscakecat · 1 month ago

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At his core he is silly.

Disregarding Disney’s attempt to slander this man like Scrappy Doo in the live action Scooby Doo movie:

Luke Skywalker is fundamentally a silly goofy goober. Experiencing the horrors and becoming a powerful Jedi changed him, but at his core he will remain an optimistic and whimsical little creature.

Like, in the third movie he’s doing these epic kickflips off Jabba’s skiff to escape the Sarlacc. Defeating a bunch of Stormtroopers with his new skills.

Then proceeds to make 3P0 float to get the Ewoks to quit being hostile, instead of letting Han shoot at them. And pulls up to meet Vader with the “I believe there’s still good in you, I came here to talk”.

Beyond the obvious Mustafar PTSD from Padme dying, I imagine Luke’s whole demeanor has the opposite effect he wanted it to. To us he looks all serious and grown and composed, but Vader is his dad. To Darth that fella looked 12 years old, coming there all hopeful and standing at the window in his little sweater.

Look! Vader’s just standing there like:

“That’s… you can’t… I don’t know what made you think that was even an option.”

I think it genuinely surprised and rattled Anakin that the terrified, angry kid who jumped off Cloud Bespin came in with an olive branch instead of guns blazing.

It’s the opposite of what anyone else would do. Obi Wan and Yoda told him it was a bad idea. Leia definitely thought it was a bad idea. It looked like they were right.

But after 20 years of being a depressed, bloody enforcer under Palpatine’s boot, the fact that someone tried at all was startling. Not as a fake nicety to lure Vader into a trap, or to spy, or to get a better trade deal. That, and it was his own child who had every reason not to try.

Yes, Skywalker can throw hands and will if he needs to. But don’t forget that it is in his nature to do the right thing, and to look for the good in people, and be silly. The Kylo Ren disaster is not in his nature, and neither is running away for 14 years instead of dealing with it. Let Luke be Luke.

#Star Wars #Star Wars original trilogy #luke skywalker #Darth Vader #Anakin Skywalker #Disney’s Star Wars will never be canon to me #Let Luke be a silly but competent fella #he deserved better #me yapping #legends continuity

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lessnowon · 10 months ago

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😔🤜🏻💥🤛🏻😔 solidarity

confession: TRoS ruined kylo/ben for me, despite not liking him previously.

when i watched TFA in the movie theater, i absolutely hated kylo ren (not in an "anti" way, it's simply a sign of a good villian). TLJ put him on thin ice with me because like 🤢 re*lo foreshadowing (yes in an anti way, but not the point of this post so dont @ me) but i otherwise still loved to hate him, even if i didn't understand why so many fans liked him. but then the dreaded TRoS happened and i was like... "huh, i miss kylo ren?"

i mean, i know that character development is a thing, but... what happened to my darth tantrum? what happened to "let the past die, kill it if you have to"? like, it baffles me that he ends TLJ having killed his master, been rejected by rey and rejected her in turn (again), claimed the title of supreme leader, and then been publicly humiliated by his uncle/ex-master—and then in TRoS he just... ditches everything he has achieved, lets go of all the perceived wrongs against him, reverts to ben, and kisses rey? and oh by the way it was Palpatine, still, all along?? isnt this supposed to be a new story?????

obviously he wouldn't end the final movie of the trilogy in the same as he was halfway through or at the start, but i think it's stupid that he had so much build up as a villain, actively rejecting the light side and redemption at every single turn—and he had many, many opportunities—only to spend most of the third movie on the side of the light, helping to defeat the exact same villain that was defeated three movies ago

like yeah, okay, he "finished vader's business" and "killed the past" by finally defeating darth sidious, but idk... the guy started out the trilogy so determined to uphold vader's legacy that he led the slaughter of every student at luke's temple a la anakin at the end of RotS, that he murdered and tortured innocents for years, and instead of realizing that "letting the past die" includes vader's legacy and making his own way, redeemed or not but still remaining kylo—or, hell, even evolving his ambition into the determination to outdo vader where vader fell short; killing the past by becoming the new, more powerful evil—he, what???? learns that he can just shed years of deliberate bad choices because none of it was his fault anyways, and all he has to do is repeat the past to be redeemed because he is just doomed to be an echo of his ancestors that contributes nothing genuinely new to his family history, anyways?

yeah i preferred the unstable and immature yet wildly overpowered possible-sociopath on the cusp of shedding his blinders and coming into his own...

#TRoS was SUCH a smack in the face #the only intriguing thing was hux's betrayal and even that was executed in the STUPIDEST WAY POSSIBLE #like here's this zealot—this true believer—who totally flew under my radar in TFA beyond a token 'lol bill weasley!'#(cause i thought he was just a tarkin stand in... sry hux fans)#who is given ALL THE REASONS to resent kylo ren in TLJ #who is allegedly??? cunning and ambitious and tactically minded ig????#and yet in TRoS he never once uses those purportedly 'canon' skills on screen 🙃#and instead just suddenly goes 'me SPY ! *blatantly attacks his own personnel* now let me (a self-preserving coward) stupidly go to die!#and dont get me STARTED on the stormpilot roll back!!#why did rose need a love interest?? she was literally grieving for her sister for most of her screen time no???#i feel like she had potential for character development that was stunted by that romantic sub plot #finn didnt really help her grow #cause from the beginning their dynamic was the other way and #with her having these her worship expectations that he (who is still in flight mode) doesnt live up to #and instead of him going on a self discovery journey and choosing to come back #rose decides to pull a trick straight from Misery like ???#but now ive veered into my TLJ issues OOPS

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hannibals-favourite-meal · 2 years ago

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.⋆｡What He Deserves｡⋆.

Alpha!Bucky Barnes x omega!plus size reader

The morning after Bucky claims you, he realises how much he truly loves you

Warnings: implied smut, nudity, mention of claiming, fluff, brief talks about Bucky’s past

WC: 478

Minors DNI

Library- @hannibals-favourite-meal-library

4k Celebration

Dawn crept over the horizon slowly, the weak winter sun just barely breaking through the curtains on the far side of the bedroom, creating small beams of light that fell over the bed. There were pillows and sheets strewn everywhere, leaving the bed bare save for a singular blanket that covered the occupants.

Bucky had been awake for hours, in fact he hadn’t even fallen asleep. Too overwhelmed with new emotions to even think about shutting his eyes, he had just watched you. You were sprawled on top of him, your naked body fitting perfectly on his own, chest to chest, your legs intertwined with your nose firmly pressed against his collarbone.

The wound on your shoulder was already healing, it would leave a scar but that was the whole point wasn’t it. A perfect circle of small cuts that, if Bucky leaned down and put his mouth to it, would match the pattern of his teeth. Unable to stop himself, he rubbed his thumb against the broken skin and fresh wave of your scent washed over him.

Bucky groaned as he inhaled, the smell of you so raw and untainted it made his skin prickle with goosebumps.

“Alpha?” Your voice came out as more of a rasp, still thick with sleep.

He winced. “Sorry mega, didn’t mean to wake you.” You hummed and nuzzled further into his warm chest, your hand coming up to rest just over his heart. Bucky smiled and kissed the top of your head.

“’S okay.” You sighed, a happy calmness spreading through the fresh bond. It immediately settles in his stomach, a feeling of peace and home. His grip gets just a little tighter but you don’t fight it, instead your soft body goes completely limp in his arms as you let out a contented mewl.

Snores began to escape your lips once more and Bucky just watched you. This was all he had ever wanted but never thought he could have, or deserved. You were his everything and by the grace of whatever god was out there, you let him worship you and love you with his whole being.

And now you were mated, joined together for eternity.

You chased away his nightmares with a smile, banishing them to a place where they could never hurt him again. You guided him into the light with your laughter, you showed him that touch doesn’t always bring pain. You proved to him that he was more than his past, more than a puppet for someone else’s bidding.

“I love you more than I ever thought possible.” He spoke quietly into the early morning light so as to not wake you once more. He let his eyes finally slip shut, content with you in his arms, your scent keeping him grounded.

He couldn’t wait to wake up and start the rest of your lives.

Request: Do you think I could get a a/b/o with either “I burn for you,” or “I love you more than I ever thought possible” with either Kylo Ren or Bucky Barnes?

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#4k follower celebration #alpha!bucky barnes x omega!reader #alpha!bucky x omega!reader #bucky barnes x plus size reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x you #bucky x plus size reader #bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky x you #plus size reader #female reader #reader insert #fluff #inbox #tw a/b/o

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autistic-ben-tennyson · 4 months ago

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Why the Diamond Redemption Doesn’t Work

About a year ago I wrote a post defending Steven Universe and Steven’s character writing. Since then my views have changed a bit and while I don’t think Steven is as much of a wuss as those Jack Horner or Hitler memes make him out to be, I can understand some of the gripes with the Diamond’s redemption. While Lily Orchard is a shitty person, I do side eye some of the people who hate her especially due to transmisogyny getting worse and her being a trans woman that doesn’t pass well and while some of her criticisms of the show are unfair, others were those black fans already had discussed regarding the show’s anti blackness with Sugilite and Bismuth and I’m going to explain why the Diamonds redemption doesn’t work by comparing them to similar characters.

In most stories that redeemed a fascist, abusive or genocidal villain, something was done to ensure that they would be incapable of causing further harm. Darth Vader, Kylo Ren and Gendo Ikari all died. They may have committed a heroic sacrifice and gotten acceptance from Luke, Rey and Shinji but that’s it. Vader and Kylo did go to Jedi heaven and Gendo was allowed to reunite with Yui in death but they still had to die as their crimes were too great to forgive. People can criticize how well executed these redemptions were but they only reconciled with one person and no one was forced to forgive them.

As for villains who were given a second chance and continued to live, something was still done to prevent them from hurting others. Lord Ozai had his powers taken away by Aang. ATLA has also been criticized for falling into white liberalism but at least Ozai still faced consequences. Ben directly targeted the Highbreed’s racist ideology by forcing them to walk in the shoes of those they tried to genocide by mixing their DNA with the omnitrix’s aliens. Lord Garmadon was corrupted by the Great Devourer and later Oni blood after his resurrection and he had to prove both times he had changed by taking a vow of nonviolence and helping the Ninja. Harumi’s redemption was criticized for being rushed but at least she had lost her powers and was implied to be under police surveillance in Crystalized. All these villain characters got off easy but at least had something done to remove their ability to cause harm.

In some cases a villain would be offered redemption and chose to reject it. That would have been a way to keep Steven a pacifist while still destroying the diamonds via their own actions. Lord Shen was offered a second chance despite everything he had done to Po and rejected it which caused his own death. Emperor Belos tried to manipulate Luz and was rightfully treated as the liar he was. The Diamonds for all we know could be doing the same and only acting nice to placate Steven until he dies, given how little they seem to regret abusing Rose and tried to get a replacement with Steven and later Spinel. They didn’t need to be shattered but as @thewoollyviking said, they needed to lose their powers so they could never be able to take back their empire if they returned to their old ways.

Something else that’s been on my mind is the idea that wanting the diamonds to suffer consequences is a “culturally Christian” or “Tankie” worldview. Like maybe some people are influenced by a punitive view of Christianity but i have also seen Christian fans who insisted that Steven had to forgive them based on their religious views. Wanting someone to face consequences isn’t always to be cruel and unusual. It’s to prevent them from harming other people and restorative justice is not the same as letting people off the hook. They still need to face some sort of justice to recognize what they did was wrong as a catalyst for becoming better people.

I think the problems with the diamond’s redemption came down to it being intended to be an allegory for an abusive family while having them commit all sorts of crimes like purging any gem that didn’t align with their beliefs and creating the cluster to blow up the earth. SU suffers because it used magical girl solutions to deal with sci fi/irl political issues which came off as tone deaf to a lot of people. Not everyone who dislikes it does so because of one person’s video essay and while it didn’t need to kill the diamonds, them losing their powers and being banished from Homeworld would have been more satisfying as a compromise because people like the diamonds will never change in real life and letting them off like that does have real world implications.

#steven universe #su critical #steven universe critical #Ben 10 #ben 10 alien force #evangelion #neon genesis evangelion #nge #rebuild of evangelion #star wars #avatar the last airbender #atla #the owl house #kung fu panda #ninjago #lego ninjago #lily orchard

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upon-a-starry-night · 10 months ago

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While We Dream Pt.1

Kylo Ren x Fem! Reader

Star Wars Masterlist Series Masterlist

Word Count: 1.4k

Summary: As Kylo sleeps he finds himself mysteriously transported to your modern world, while you sleep you find yourself following alongside Kylo as he goes about his duties as “supreme leader?” who even was this guy? And why does he keep talking about ‘The Force?'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You know how in life there are those days that make you want to squeeze lemon juice directly into a fresh cut just to feel something? Well, you were having one of those days.

You’d just been laid off from your job and to make matters worse you locked your keys in your car while you were packing away your desk essentials. It would take the mechanic two hours to arrive so you could either sit there looking pathetic in the parking lot of the job you just got fired from or you could take a walk.

Yeah, you weren’t going to humiliate yourself with that first option, especially not after all your coworkers avoided eye contact with you as you packed up your belongings.

Running your hands through your hair, you sighed in frustration, looking up at the cloudy gray abyss above you. Well at least the weather matched your mood, you just hoped it would hold off on raining until after you were back home. Maybe then you could cuddle up with your cat and a good book and forget today ever happened.

Walking in the opposite direction as your old office building, you turn around to glare at it in all its boring corporate glory.

“Good riddance” you mutter under your breath as you shove your hands in your pockets and let the sidewalk lead you to something that would hopefully brighten your day.

You’d never really gotten to explore the area around your work aside from the coffee and bagel shop you’d frequent for breakfast and the deli two buildings down where you’d get lunch. You’d miss the sandwiches at that deli but there was no way you would go back there and risk running into your coworkers. It was only noon and today was already one of the worst of your adult life experiences.

It wasn’t like you particularly liked that job, you yearned for a creativity that would never be found behind a wooden desk in a cubicle. Still, you’d made a few accomplices and had started growing used to your routine.

You didn't know if it was bad luck or the universe telling you to finally do something more adventurous with your life but either way, you’d need to find a new job soon.

So lost in thought, you don’t even realize where you are until you stumble over a stray tree root. Only then do you notice the gorgeous park you’re in. It’s roughly the size of a large backyard but it’s filled with so many plants and tall trees that you could nearly forget you were in the middle of a city if the honking of traffic didn’t give it away.

Flowers of every color blossom all along the brick pathway and all sorts of pollinators flitter around the garden. It’s a wonder they can find their way to this place through all the buildings and construction around but if you lived here you’d probably never leave it anyway.

It would feel like a segment pulled straight out of a forest if it weren’t for the fountain in the middle of it all. It’s a beautiful circle made out of white marble with a woman in the center holding some sort of pot where the water is flowing from.

It’s nothing but a simple statue but something about the woman's eyes is warm and motherly, whoever carved them must have spent a lot of time on them to get them to feel so inviting. They don’t look directly at you, however, they focus just to the right of where you're standing and you follow the line of sight till you notice something in the bushes.

Curious as to what could be so important that they’d face the statue towards it, you move to investigate the mysterious object and are pointedly surprised to find a coin machine buried amongst the leaves and vines. It reads:

“Wish coins. Hold the coin in your hands and make a wish then toss it into the fountain. The Universe is kind to those with pure intentions. Only one per person!”

From the looks of it, no one’s used it in a long time and it makes you sad that humanity has seemingly given up on simple things like making a wish in a fountain. You remember doing it once or twice as a kid, although your wishes never came true- it was probably for the best that you didn’t receive 15 puppies and all the toys in the world at age 8.

It only costs a penny to get a coin from the machine so after a few minutes of digging through all your pants pockets you manage to scrounge up one dirty penny made in 2003 from your back pocket. You insert it and twist until your ‘wish coin’ comes out with a clank.

It’s bigger than a dollar coin and looks like something you’d get at an arcade or gaming festival. It’s got a star on both sides instead of anything remotely similar to real currency but it holds the weight of real metal and looks entirely made of copper. Even if you don’t throw it in it’s a pretty cute trinket to have found.

Checking your watch, you see that you still have an hour until the mechanics can get to your car so you walk over and take a seat on the fountain, admiring the greenery, you think about how you probably never would have found this place if all of the bad stuff didn’t happen. Although you didn't know if this surpassed the loss of your job you were grateful to have found such a beautiful place to rest and wait.

Taking a deep breath in, you flip the coin in your palm over a few times, staring at it in consideration. It couldn’t hurt to try…could it?

Truth be told, you don't know why you’re putting so much thought into it but maybe there was a small part of you that still believed in silly things like this. The little girl in you that held out hope that things like magic actually exist somewhere in this world.

Standing up, you turn and face the fountain as you clutch onto the coin with both hands and think of the perfect wish. What is it that you really wanted anyway?

A job? No, that was something you needed, and it didn't feel like something worth wasting a wish on.

A partner? Now that would be nice, someone to come home to and cheer you up on days like these, but even that didn’t feel right and you didn’t want to end up in one of those shitty genie situations where they take your words literally and end up screwing you over.

What was it that you truly wanted? Adventure? Excitement? Something to look forward to in a world that makes you constantly look back? That felt like the right direction but you had no idea how to phrase it so you just poured everything you were feeling into the coin and then flicked it into the clear blue water.

As it sank to the bottom you held your breath as you waited for something to happen. You don’t know what you were expecting, it’s not like everything you wished for would just magically appear out of nowhere…

You waited a few minutes, shifting anxiously on your feet as you stared at the coin at the bottom of the fountain. There were no other coins in the water and you wondered if someone came to clean it often, even the water was flawlessly clear despite the area being so secluded. You wondered if your coin would soon be cleaned out and debated fishing it out of the water.

It was pretty cute but maybe you could just grab a second one from the machine? You fisted your pockets for another penny but came up empty so you resorted to searching the surrounding dirt for any lost change. Much to your luck there was a single penny underneath one of the within-reach bushes and you quickly inserted it into the slot and tried to twist.

The machine didn’t budge. Was it broken? You tried twisting again, taking the penny out and putting it back, and even lightly smacking the machine but nothing worked. The “only one per person" sticker staring at you tauntingly. Perhaps that was your sign to stop trying.

Sighing, you glance at the time and decide you should probably start to head back if you want to make it to your car before the mechanic people do. Before you go though, you take one last look into the statue's warm eyes, letting the tiniest ounce of hope spark through you.

“I don’t really know what I wished for but… I hope it comes true.” You turn to walk away but then hesitate, taking in the scenery one last time “And I hope it makes me happy.”

Pt.2

A/n: Hope you enjoyed Chapter one of my new series! It only gets crazier from here!! ~Starry

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littlebugs · 2 years ago

Note

Can I request for Kylo Ren in which the returns with him from a failed mission? She made a mistake and maybe Kylo made it clear to her that he was very upset about it during an argument afterwards. She tries to make up for it by doing a mission on her own, only on this one she gets badly hurt and is brought back by Hux after finding her severely wounded/injured. When Kylo learns of it, he flips out thinking she wasn’t going to make it alive, but in the end, she survives and makes a full recovery. Something short and sweet in the end between them as he takes care of her during the healing process. Thanks! ❤️

(I hope this is okay! If not, feel free to ignore it!)

i love you

warnings: injury, very angsty (fluff ending), fem presenting reader (she/her pronouns), mild language, written at 1am so not the best proofreading, toxic kylo in the beginning 😓 a/n: thanks so much for the request love! i got carried away writing this lol, sorry if its a lil long!

.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .

"Shit," you cursed as you sprawled over the couch in yours and Kylo's living room. You'd messed up today. It was tiny, minuscule, just a little mistake. You hoped it wouldn't matter to Kylo. But you knew better.

The large door, black, matching most of the Commander's gloomy interior, swung open. And slammed shut. You nearly fell off the couch, already exhausted from the days work. "Hey Ky..." you trailed off. He looked absolutely terrifying. Blood on the toes of his boots. Holes ripped through his outfit. But the worst of all, his face. He looked- angry. Disappointed. Annoyed. Maybe even..disgusted?

"Shut up," He threatened, walking up to you. His arms crossed, feet spread apart, you knew you were in for it. From your spot now on the floor, huddled in a ball, you felt defenseless. "You messed up today," he scolded. "This was a covert operation. We had one shot at this, and you blew it." His voice was a low, seething growl.

"I'm sorry I had a- momentary.. lapse in judgment?" You didn't know what to say. This wasn't supposed to be a big deal. It was a tiny mess up. You forgot to disable a single security camera. Just one. It wouldn't matter anyhow, as the saber marks lining the walls of the Rebel base being hijacked was a sign as to who the attacker was.

"Sorry isn't going to fix this. We're on the brink of a war, and this mission was crucial. The Supreme Leader trusted us, and now, because of your mistake, we might have just handed our enemies a victory," he nearly shouted.

Kylo's voice rose as he continued, but it was as if you were underwater, the sounds muffled and distorted. Your eyes filled with tears, blurring your vision. You couldn't let him see you like this. "I-I'm sorry," you mumbled, as you got up from the ground and staggered to the door.

You scarcely cried. There were many things the two of you never did, which maybe you should have done. It wasn't a conventional relationship. You'd only cried in front of him once, years ago. He had left you, crumpled on the floor, unable to deal with the sudden emotion. He never told you he loved you. Not even once. You shared a ship, meals, even a bed with him, and even in your most intimate moments, he just... didn't seem to feel anything. At least on the exterior. You hoped.

"Leave me." you stammered, nose already running. "Did you think I was going to follow you? Pathetic. Absolutely worthless. Do you think I even care-" He stopped, dead in his tracks, after catching sight of your face, glimmering in tears. "M'sorry" you mumbled, and quietly closed the door behind you.

Breathing in the cool air of The Supremacy, you quickly wiped your face before any troopers nearby could catch sight. Word traveled fast, and although it was a big ship, news could be spread in mere hours. You remembered the first time you had to deal with the gossip, it had been your first one night stand with Kylo, before any relationship. You left in the dead of night, but one lucky Stormtrooper caught you on the security camera. The next day, half the the Supremacy was staring you down, and the other half was triumphantly giving you high fives (Knights of Ren included.)

Life seemed...simpler. Now you were plastered on the wall to Kylo's rooms, breathing in slightly sterile air as you tried to get your wits about you. It being 11pm already, you decided to make way to your old room. Walking down the hallway, you encountered little confrontation. That was the good part of being in relation to Kylo. Then there was the name calling, the teasing the "Commanders whore" whispered behind your back. It all made you want to cry again, and you were grateful to near your room.

As you unlocked the door, your old life greeted you. There wasn't much left really, as you had inhabited Kylo's space for the past months. You had thought maybe...maybe he was changing- that he would one day tell you how he felt? Yeah right, you thought, as you walked in, flopped down on the bed, and stared at the ceiling. Looking around you, a chair sat to your left, with a window showing the view of a million stars outside. A bathroom and dresser to your right, emptied of all your items. Not that you had any in the first place, but Kylo had spoiled you as of recent.

You couldn't stop thinking about him. His face when he saw your tears. The way he had yelled at you nonstop. The fact that he didn't seems to care.

In the dimly lit room, shadows danced across the walls like haunting specters. Suddenly feeling cold, you huddled beneath the covers of your bed. The air was thick with silence, now broken only by the muffled sobs that racked your body. Your fingers clutched at the sheets, the fabric twisted and knotted in fists of despair. With each passing moment, the tears fall harder, faster, until you couldn't breath. You gasped, shuddered, and with a pounding headache, went to sleep, soiled clothes and all.

Unbeknownst to you, Kylo stood near your door, listening to your sobs feeling...terrible. He hated hearing you cry. It filled him with disgust not in you, but now in himself. For making you feel this way. And through the Force, he heard your thoughts, the desperate calls to be openly loved that Kylo had so valiantly ignored. He thought to wake you, but instead headed back to his quarters.

.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .

The next morning, at 6 am sharp, you woke up with solid determination. You were going to show him you weren't pathetic, worthless...disgusting. You were always soft, especially in comparison to him, but you weren't pathetic. Or at least you hoped so.

As you headed to the mirror, you jumped at your reflection. That wouldn't do. You would also have to make it work with the meager amount of supplies at hand, but you could do it. After opting a shower to the refresher, so you could use scented soaps and lotions, you blow dried you hair, and styled it to the best of your ability. "Not too bad," You thought to yourself as you brushed on mascara and lip balm. "Nothing crazy" you told yourself, but betrayed your thoughts as you opted for a smaller sized uniform.

Exiting your room, you felt misery and despair inside of you, but at least you looked like you had it together. Making your way down to the control center of the Supremacy took quite a while, it being a literal Mega Class Dreadnought ship, but it gave you time to think. Think of what you were going to say to him. You could apologize. You could pretend nothing happened. You could act all mushy and touchy. Or just ignore him completely.

You decided to just fuck it and ball. Walking into the room, the control center hummed with the usual tension that permeated the First Order's headquarters. The air was thick with the weight of strategic discussions and the ever-present rivalry among its officers.

Then you saw him. The air seemed to crackle with electricity as he moved, his presence commanding attention. You had always been drawn to the enigmatic power he exuded, and despite the fight, that magnetic pull remained intact. You were immediately waved over by General Hux, and as you walked over to a control table in the very front of the room, getting closer, you regretted your decision. The mask, the robes...everything about him was just huge. Intimidating. Compared to your scantily dressed body, he looked like he could envelope you whole. Maybe you wanted him to.

Deciding to play with him a little, you boldly stood next to Hux, leaning over to look at the schematics on the table so Kylo had direct view of you. Though the mask concealed his emotions, you could sense the internal turmoil beneath it. He was distracted, and you knew why.

Hux sighed and rolled his eyes, in classic fashion. He was never one for your machinations, but continued explaining the mission at hand, obviously annoyed. You didn't bother listen, opting to shift around in a way that made Kylo's fists clench.

At what seemed like the end of the brief, Hux tiredly asked "So we'll need an Admiral or Commander to volunteer for this mission. As I know both of you do not care in the least so I will just-" You cut him off. "I'll do it." Both Kylo and Hux turned towards you, silent. "But you never do anything-" The General retorted. You roll your eyes. "Shut up Hux. I'm going." The redhead sputtered. "But-you... -You don't even care! Ever!" "Ok well, I'm a Commander, and I'm going," You spat, not bothering to glance at Kylo, who hadn't moved an inch in the last minute. You stormed away, but not before hearing Hux call "Don't screw this up Commander," and scoffing.

.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .

It wasn't going well. You had overpowered the Rebel base, which was somewhat pitiful, but managed to get a blaster wound to the side which was currently steaming in a way that did not look safe. Most of your troops had made it through, save the couple of troopers who'd been shot here and there. The masks made it harder to remember they were human, people on the inside. Limping back to your ship, you woozily asked Hux to make someone check the surrounding areas for stragglers as you slumped into the seat, adrenaline still preventing you from feeling the full pain of your wound.

Setting the TIE on autopilot, slowly coming back to reality, you looked down to the left of your torso. You had almost dodged the blast, the wound cauterized by the superheated plasma, leaving a sizzling, blackened mark on your flesh. Smoke rose from the wound, carrying with it the acrid scent of burnt fabric and singed skin. The pain intensified with each passing second, as if a red-hot poker has been driven into your side.

You clenched your teeth, trying to stifle a scream, as you grasped at the wound. Your fingers came away slick with your own blood, which oozed from the wound and trickled down your side. The ride was short. Only 30 minutes at full speed. You could probably..maybe hold on. You busied yourself coating the wound with Bacta spray, which took most the time, considering the fact that every movement made your side burn and sting like never before.

After successfully applying the antiseptic, you started to see the giant that was the Supremacy. It slowly appeared as a behemoth of steel and darkness, adorned with the stark, angular design characteristic of First Order aesthetics you had come to be so familiar with. You were on course, but you'd have to manually land the plane. "Oh for Kriffs sake" you muttered to yourself, trying to figure out how you were even alive.

You painstakingly moved your right arm to the control panel, and started the descent, aiming for one of the many hangars. It seemed to take forever, but with a final, skillful maneuver, you brought the ship to a shaky landing on the hangar deck. The ship's landing struts had absorbed the impact, but the screech of metal against metal reverberated through the hangar.

You all but fell out of the fighter, letting out a strained "I'm aight-" before collapsing into the arms of medical personnel, whom immediately transported you to the medical wing.

Not known to you, the second of your arrival, Kylo was storming down the hall, looking menacing as ever. Although he looked same as ever, on the inside, his emotions swirled inside of him. He was freaking out. He powered through the med bay, drawing terrified looks from doctors and patients alike, not stopping until he found your room.

He ripped the door open, all calm was lost. "Is she alright?" He boomed, modified voice scaring the living daylights out of the doctors and nurses surrounding you. "S-Sir, erm-Commander we think she'll most likely survive with minor s-setback" A doctor answers, inspecting the wound as to not have to face Ren.

He sat down on a chair, further terrifying the staff with his presence. "She'd better," Kylo fumed, prepared to annihilate the staff over anything. He didn't know what made him feel like this, but he was prepared to wait days for you to awake. And wait he did.

.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .

It was early morning. You had just woken up, not in the Med Bay, but... in his room. He was already awake, looking at you with those deep brown eyes. You looked around, surveying the surroundings. You were wearing his sleep clothes, all too big on you, hair smelling freshly washed. You had an IV hooked up to your arm, and the stiff bandage across your torso chafed against delicate skin.

"I'm sorry" He uttered, quietly. "I said those things, and I... shouldn't have. I'm sorry. I don't- feel like that about you. I think you're.." He trailed off. He'd never said sorry before. You didn't know how to react.

Looking at him, caring for you in your injury made you frown. "Why do you- why do you care?"

"Here, lay down. Have some soup." He nudged you gently, positioning pillows behind your head. You were so shocked, you almost forgot your previous question. "Wait, but why are you doing this?" You whisper, voice hoarse.

"Because I love you"

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