#let it be known that i am barnacles no. 1 fan

[styllwaters]

If you're still taking requests, could we see you draw some of your favourite sea creatures?

How could I refuse?

[catnip-smuggler-radio]

A Ship of His Own: Part 1

Tray was sitting by the docks of the Kugane bay, letting the time just float away from early morning into late morning.  He was resting on a bench with his pipe in his mouth and a book in his hands.  The leather-bound book looked simple, almost as if it was a journal, but inside it was just a trashy romance novel by his favorite author.  Tray often disguised his romance novels as something less obvious, but that didn’t change the fact that he enjoyed them. Though, for the last bell or so, he really hadn’t been reading. Though he was looking at the words on the page, he wasn’t seeing them.  Rather his mind was wandering over yesterday’s events. After meeting with Jak’s twin Vynnie, the red-head had taken it upon himself to help try to heal the rift between them.  At the time, it seemed the right thing to do. But why?  Jak had commented he hadn’t known either long. In fact, he’d only met Vynnie for a bell or so by pure accident.  He had answered because you helped folks you cared for.  But, now, he wondered if it was more self-serving than that.  Certainly the murderous trash-catte was a fan of happy endings.  Most of the books he read ended in ‘Happily Ever Afters’ after all, mostly because life seemed so stingy with giving anyone a real, true happy ending.  But part of him realized that he wanted to see if he could patch this rift between the twins not just for them, which he did want, but also because he wanted to see if it was in him to even be able to heal familial relations.  He was curious if he would have been able to heal the relationship between him and his son. If there would have been hope for them had Yimir had not been slain. “Well, scupper me, you really are alive.” Tray perked his pierced ears as he turned from the book towards a large, Roegadyn woman with a mane of wild, shoulder-length grey hair that was walking towards him; a smile creased the wrinkles around her eyes. She was dressed in a white, cotton shirts and black trousers that were tucked into knee-high, brown boots.  Over her shoulders was draped a thigh-length, green jacket with black lapels and buttons of solid gold. ((Rest under cut cause loooong))

“Ye didn’t think teh rumors of meh death were really real did ye?” Tray chuckled, tipping his pipe over and dumping the last of his moko onto the dock as he rose to his feet.  He put the pipe and book away as he went to offer his hand to the roe.  Instead of taking the hand, he woman came in and wrapped Tray in a strong hug, squeezing him hard.  Tray wheezed as he heard his back popping when she lifted him off the ground. “I did actually.” she laughed.  She popped a view more vertebrae as she squeezed and then returned Tray to the earth.  The red-head took a moment to regain himself before he gazed up at her broad face and gave her a fanged smile. Dennlona Nedyrthota was probably the oldest friend Tray still had in the world.  She had been his first captain almost twenty years  ago when he’d shown up in Limsa seeking a life of adventure upon the seas.  She’d taken him aboard her ship as a cabin boy and then, she’d eventually allowed him to rise to become first harpoon of her whaler.  Tray had sailed on several of her whaling expeditions during the ten years he’d been a sailor and his nautical knowledge all stemmed from this woman. In a very real way, she was a second mother to him. Shortly before Tray had retired from whaling to raise turnips with his mate, Denn had transitioned from captaining vessels to running her own shipping company and eventually into the business of purchasing and selling ships.  If you needed a ship, she could find you something for the right price. And right now Tray was in the market for a new one. “Ye know meh better den dat, Denn.” Tray snorted. “You think I would.” the roe replied, pausing to nod at his covered eye.  “What happened there?” “Made a bad deal.” Tray answered and Denn raised a grey eyebrow as she fixed him with her golded eyes.  “Way I hear it, you made a lot of bad deals.  And  a lot of enemies, Tray.  Yer name’s on a lot of black lists back in Limsa and Ul’dah.” The red-haired miqo’te grunted. “So I’ve heard.”  he flicked his pierced tail.  “Trust meh, I didn’t want to go to ye but I need a ship to start makin’ gil again an; I don’t have a whole lot of contacts on dis side of teh sea.” Denn looked at him and then, slugged him in the chest hard enough to knock him onto his ass. “Oi!” he protested. “I taught you better then that, Tray.” Denn muttered.  “I mean, the garleans -and- the monetarists?  Did you really think pissing them all off was a good idea?  And trying to establish a triad to boot?  You’re a sailor, not a business miqo’te.” “Hey, I saw how much money ye was makin’ on land and wanted to give it a go.”  Tray grunted, picking himself up.  Denn paused and then laughed. “You’re still that same little shit kit I hired on all those years ago.  Eyes, well eye now, bigger than your stomach.”  She crossed her huge arms.  “Suppose I actually did bring a ship all the way out here like you requested in your letter?  Suppose I sell it to you today?  What do you do with the ship?  Way I see it, you’re blacklisted from most other companies and I’m risking tarnishing my reputation by selling to you.” “I use it to make money. Keep provin’ I’m teh best smuggler dis world ever seen.” he grinned before sticking his pierced tongue out at her.  Quick as a viper, Denn caught his tongue in her fingers.  Old as she was, she was still fast as lighting and Tray blinked at his former captain in alarm. “That comes out of your mouth again, I keep it, savvy?” Denn commented calmly as she let go. Tray flexed his jaw and nodded. “Look, Denn, I need dis ship. For me, okay?  I lost everythin’ when teh garleans came down on meh.  Everythin’.  An’ I tryin’ to rebuild mehself.  I’m working for a new company an’ need to carry meh weight.  I need to be on teh sea, provin’ to mehself and dem I’m worth a damn, aight?  I ain’t trying to rebuild meh criminal empire here.  I’m just trying to make a livin’, feel teh sea spray on meh face, and maybe murder a few garleans in exchange for what deh did to meh and meh son.” Denn ground her teeth, clearly thinking as she studied her red-headed, -almost- adopted son.  She had watched Tray go from a wild, rambunctious youth full of fire to a power-hungry criminal drenched in blood.  She hadn’t enjoyed seeing it, even if she had been selling him trade galleons before it all came crashing down on Tray.  Her relationship with him had actually hurt her business in the aftermath of Tray’s fall and she’d taken moons proving she’d distanced herself from him.  Her business was still hurting from that.  Yet, despite the personal financial loss, she still had a fondness for him, as if she couldn't help but see him as a young kit laughing in the rigging as he saw his first whale spouting off on the horizon. “You aren’t planning on rebuilding?” Tray shook his head. “Not to that degree.  I been at teh top and fell.  Saw a few spots on teh way down I’d rather set up shop instead.” he chuckled and wagged his pierced tail. Denn was silent. “I hear one word, one tale, of you making a bid to the top, I’ll sink you myself.” Denn grunted.  “Cause I am not having you bring me, or anyone else you tie yourself too, down.” Tray spat into his had and offered it to Denn.  She spat into hers and they shook. “Deal.” Tray agreed. “Alright then.  I did bring a vessel all this way.” Denn explained as she freed her hand.  “It’s not much, but your letter made it sound like this was exactly what you were looking for.  Come on.” The tall woman turned and began walking towards the docks, weaving through sailors and merchants alike.  Tray followed, taking two strides for every one of hers. “Still can’t believe you’re alive.” Denn chuckled after a few moments of awkward silence.  “I -almost- didn’t come but I had to see if it was true.” “Glad ye did.” Tray answered as they turned to one of the smaller piers.  They began passing moored vessels as they came to the end of a dock. “There she is.”  Denn commented as they came around a large trade galleon to see the ship that rested in the galleon’s shadows. A two-masted brigantine lay moored alongside the docks.  At just short of seventy feet in length, she was smaller than most of the ships Tray had sailed on in recent years but she was sleek and her bow was sharp.  Speed had been the intent when her designers had laid down her hull and that was both a blessing and a curse.  She was a bit more narrow than the average brigantine, which would reduce the amount of cargo she could carry.  And, at only seventy feet, he’d only be able to mount ten guns so her bite would be minimal at best unless he went with twenty-four pound canons and that was a lot of extra weight he’d need to factor in when trying to stuff her full of wares. “So what do you think?”  Denn commented as the pair climbed the gangplank and boarded the ship. “She was a prize back when she was made.” Tray said, running his hands over some of her rigging lines and feeling the crusted mildew eating away at the sinews. “She ain’t been well cared for, Denn.” Tray walked to her foremast and pressed his ear to it.  He knocked several times.  No stressed fractures inside the mast could be heard at least.  “Her lines are rottin’, she’s got barnacles, and I can only imagine what her sails look like.”  He looked up at the rolls of canvas overhead. “She wasn’t one of mine till recently.” Denn explained, leaning on the railing.  “Picked her up a moon ago.  Was going to do a rework in the drydocks but, you seemed to be in the market for something fast and she -is- that.  Quick as silver she is.” Tray leaned back and looked up towards the helm.  As he walked he stomped his boots, listening to her deck.  She was made of solid wood that had aged well despite her former owner’s neglect. “I trust ye’ll be knockin’ down teh price since I’mma need to re-rig her, buy new sails, and scrape her clean.”  He went over to the railing and peered at her hull.  “Probably re-coat her too.” Denn pulled out a slip of paper and handed it too him.  The miqo’te took it, read the quote, and snorted. “Ye can’t be serious, Denn! For dis price I could buy mehself a new sloop or even an ol’ galleon back in Limsa.” “Aye, you could, but this isn’t Limsa, and you have limited people that will see to you.  Plus, I had to have a crew sail her out her for you, and they’ve got to ride back on my galleon when I leave.” Tray flicked his tail, looking around. “For this price, least ye could do would be leave me a dozen hands to help get her sea-worthy again.” he commented. “I’d be willing to spare some if you promise to get them back to me in Limsa once she’s back at sea.”   Denn offered. “I can’t pay in full now.” Tray said.  “I’ll need to take it on credit.”  “If it was anyone else but you, I’d tell ‘them to walk a plank. I’ll take that offer, at ten percent interest.” “Five.” “Eight, final offer.” Tray chewed his lower lip as he explored the ship further.  Denn watch him wander and explore for about half a bell before Tray approached her and nodded. “Alright.  I’ll take her, with yer promise of some hands to help.” It was Denn’s turn to spit into her hand and offer it to Tray.  He reciprocate the gesture. “Congratulations on your new ship, Captain.” Denn remarked with an amused grin.  Tray felt his own face smiling, that title sounding good in his ears. ((Tray got a ship but now has to work on. Huzzah projects!  Mentions of @miqojak​ and @miqo-vynnie​ ‘s  characters based on rps cause that’s on his mind too!))

[neversaw-youcoming]

The Mysterious Death of Mildred Button

“I just do not understand why you wanted to come to this sort of distasteful spectacle, Charles.” Emma Darwin sighed.

“Now darling, you are always asking me to get out of my study and spend more time with you and the children. It’s supposed to be a fun day out for us.” Charles Darwin looked at his wife eagerly. “And this way I do not have to get on another boat to the colonies to study these exotics savages like I did in my youth on the Beagle.”

Excitement glistened in Darwin’s eyes as he walked up a dusty path to a large striped tent ahead, with the words Behold, Human Freaks! painted in large letters on the sign hung above. “Some of my colleagues have mentioned there is this girl here that is covered in hair like an ape! They say she is the missing link that will turn my next book into an even bigger breakthrough than On the Origin of Species! Oh, I do hope they are correct.”

Emma held her tongue when she saw how excited her husband was. She hated his work and how it drew a big wedge between him and God, but what was she to do she had no control over him? The nights she had spent aching and praying for his soul seemed countless. It took a while but she had come to terms with the fact that he was not going to stop his research, for it was a hunger inside to learn that drove him.[1] She had come to accept his work with animal species, but hearing that he was trying to broaden his theory to people made her scared and wistful for the time when mollusks and barnacles were all he talked about.

“Run along children, and do not touch anyone!” she called ahead, squeezing her husband’s hand a bit tighter as he paid and they ducked under the flap into a dark space lit up by torches on the walls of the tent. The Darwin’s stood together by the back of the tent as their vision adjusted to the dim lights. The murmur of the crowd grew louder as the curtain on stage shook.

A man in a top hat and a dirty brown suit waltzed onto stage, “Ladies and Gentleman!” the booming voice echoed around them.

“Here we go!” Charles said pulling out an old notebook and pencil from his coat pocket. He flipped through pages and pages of notes scratched into the paper for his next book, The Descent of Man. He settled on a blank page when the crowd hushed.

“What you are now about to see is proof of the remarkability of man!” the announcer bellowed. “My name is Tom Norman and I’m here to show you the one and only Mr. Joseph Merrick, the Elephant Man!”[2] The curtain dropped and the crowd gasped at the sight of the deformed man on stage.

“Good heavens!” Mrs. Darwin exclaimed, hiding her face in her husband’s chest, the wool fabric tickling her face.

“How fascinating!” Mr. Darwin said, stepping forward through the crowd to get a better view.

“Oh you are mad as hops!” Emma called after him, but is drowned out by the murmuring spreading through the crowd from the sight of the man on stage in front of them. Merrick stood in his refined Sunday’s best, breathing loudly like a dog panting in the sun. A couple of women ran towards the exit at the sight of him, and a mother was shushing her crying child.

“Now do not be afraid me friends!” Mr. Norman exclaimed. “Do not to despise or condemn this man on account of his unusual appearance. Remember,” he asserted, “we do not make ourselves, and were you to cut or prick Joseph … he would bleed, and that bleed or blood would be red, the same as yours or mine.”[3] An air of awe swept over the crowd as Merrick gave them a bow. “I want you to look into your hearts and see that this man is the most remarkable human being ever to draw the breath of life! For he is not a monster but a master work of nature!” [4]

Charles scribbled a description of Merrick into his notebook, “enormous and misshapened head. From the brow there projected a huge bony mass like a loaf, while from the back of the head hung a bag of spongy, fungous-looking skin…”[5] Mr. Norman continued to work the crowd in the background, telling them how Merrick was a working man from right there in England, and earned his living just like the rest of us.[6]

The Darwin’s walked hand in hand together, looking at the other freaks on display, waiting for the next one on the main stage. The torches flickered on the wall. “How about that? Do you think it was some sort of accident?” Emma asked Charles.

“Actually ma’am, I was born this way.”

“Oh my! I am sorry I did not think you could hear me.” Mrs. Darwin said, startled to be interacting with the man that appeared to have no arms or legs at all. Sat on a trunk, he wore a garment that resembled a sock along his whole body.

“Happens all the time don’t worry about it,” the man said in a gruff voice, “the name’s Prince Randian but I’m known here as The Snake Man. Want to see me roll a cigarette?”[7] He grabs a small glass jar of tobacco with his mouth from the side of his trunk and used his shoulder to hold the paper in place as he sprinkled the tobacco inside.

“My good sir, where do you come from?” Charles asked.

Prince Radian managed to get the cigarette into his mouth and light it. “British Guinea.”[8] Darwin scribbled in his journal.

“Now, may I have your undivided attention as I present the missing link in our evolution, all the way from Laos, Krao!”[9] Norman bellowed once again on stage.

“Oh I must see this!” Charles said, grabbing his wife’s hand and weaving his way through the crowd. “What a fascinating find!” he sighed, observing the girl on stage covered completely in thick dark hair. The show had dressed her up in a blue dress fitting of a girl her age, something Mrs. Darwin would have made their daughter Annie wear.

“Krao here is an eight year old girl, and a perfect specimen of the step between man and monkey!”[10] Mrs. Darwin was appalled at the claim this dirty freak show owner was making, who seemed to be a big fan of her husband. “Who here has read On the Origin of Species?” Norman asked the crowd. Charles eyes lit up with glee as he turned to his wife when a light cheer ran through the audience, not letting the several sounds of displeasure get to him. “Well, I am sure Mr. Darwin would agree that this girl here with her primitive, hairy body, fits his theory to a tee.”

“What a remarkable creature!” Darwin turns to his wife as the stage show continues. “This is exactly what I needed to finish my evidence collection on my next book. It is the key to my theory.”

“You know how I feel about this, Charles.” Emma sighed.

“I am sorry, my dear, but no honorable man shall accuse me of concealing my views once I finish this book.”[11] He says triumphantly. “My views have often been grossly misrepresented, bitterly opposed and ridiculed.” [12]

“Maybe you should write a clarification of what you believe next, if you are so concerned about your legacy here on earth.” Emma rolled her eyes at her husband.

“You are angry with me?”

“The habit in scientific pursuits of believing nothing till it is proved, influence your mind too much. The situation that has befallen that girl is likely to be above our comprehension. The existence of God cannot be proved in the same way as all your studies.”[13]

“Darling, I cannot deny my own mind. When I am dead, know that many times, I have kissed and cried over this,[14] but I cannot avoid the belief that man must come under the same law.”[15] He put his arm around Emma just as a crash echoed from the stage.

           Gasps ran through the audience with the realization that the Bearded Lady, who had just walked on stage, collapsed. Her pink dress was strewn across the floor and Tom Norman was knelt next to her, lightly slapping the sides of her face to try and revive her. He stood up, “Alright now, stay calm everyone. Some find the Lady Isabella!” he shouted over the commotion. The Bearded Lady came to, and was handed a glass of water by Krao.

           Suddenly, a woman in a purple and orange oriental gown and turban burst through the flap of the tent.[16] Distressed and hands covered in blood she yells out “Mildred Button is dead!”

Chaos erupted in the crowd, which Norman started to usher out of the tent. “Sorry folks, due to unknown circumstances the rest of the shows are canceled for today!”

Two men in suits approach Norman, “Excuse me, we were here for the show but we are detectives with local law enforcement and are here to help with this apparent murder of one of your performers is it?”[17]

“Yes, yes,” said Norman, still in shock. He grabbed one of the detectives by the arm and said, “she was our only dwarf in the show. Look, I have as little information as you do we are going to have to talk to the Lady Isabella.” Tom Norman began to steer the detectives towards the Lady Isabella while Emma Darwin gathers her kids to leave. Charles started to follow behind them when the detective with a mustache stopped him.

“I am sorry, sir, but do you happen to be Charles Darwin? I recognize you from the paper,” the detective remarks.

“Oh yes, lovely to meet you. I will be getting out of your way.” Darwin tried to duck past the man.

“Actually sir, I was wondering if you would stick around for the investigation? My friend here Arthur Weaver is a consulting detective for the force whose a scientist and we have found that the more scientists we have at an investigation the faster we can solve it.”[18]

Darwin hesitates for a moment, “alright then, but I must get back to my family soon.” The detective holds out his hand to Charles “The name is John, John Fisher. It’s an honor to meet you, sir.”

The two walk over to Norman and Isabella who was animatedly talking to Detective Weaver. “She claims she went into the female freak’s tent to talk to Ms. Button about the show they were doing together tonight and found her bleeding heavily from between her legs,” Detective Weaver says to his partner.

“She was dead when I found her! There was no way she was pregnant or nothing! She never even had her first menarche the doctors think she was too small,” Lady Isabella explained to the detectives.

“Lady Isabella is basically the manager of the female freaks here, knows all their medical information and keeps them all fresh and healthy for the shows,” Norman said.

“Actually I feel her spirit here with us!” Lady Isabella exclaimed.

“Huh?” said Darwin.

“She is also out in house medium. Sell out shows every week,” Norman said proudly.

“A medium, say,” Fisher inquires, “why don’t you just talk to Mildred’s spirit and she can tell ya why she is dead.”

“Yes! We must hold a séance!” The two detectives nod in agreement as Darwin tried to figure out he became a part of the side show act.

All but one torch was blown out and the five of them sat around a table with Lady Isabella at the head of it. “I ask you to all join hands and open yourself to the realm beyond,” the Lady Isabella said. Charles Darwin could not believe the scene he had gotten himself into but decided to play along and close his eyes.

“I call to you Mildred Button. Come to us and illuminate what brought you to such an untimely end.” The Lady Isabella started to take larger and larger breaths and it seemed that everyone else had stopped breathing. This single torch on the wall flickered fast. “Yes, my girl! Speak through me!”

           A shiver seemed to pass through Lady Isabella as the table started to shake. Suddenly the table stopped and the Lady Isabella’s eyes snapped open. Her whole demeanor changed from commanding to scared.[19] “There was this doctor…” Darwin’s eyes snapped open at the voice. It had come from the Lady Isabella’s mouth but it was not her own. This voice was timid and of a higher pitch, not unlike a little girl or dwarf women he assumed. Goose bumps spread up his arms, he tried to tell himself it was the body’s natural reaction to the unknown and he was not actually afraid there was a spirit talking through the women beside him.  

           “There was this doctor who said he was going to cure me,” the voice continued. “He had come to check on all of the women, but he spent extra time on me because I was feeling down about work and had these coughing fits recently. I heard the mention of hysteria. I am not crazy!” [20]the voice seemed distressed.

           “Who was the doctor, what happened?” Detective Weaver asked.

           “I do not remember much, but it was very painful and when I woke up I no longer felt like a women.” A tear rolled down Lady Isabella’s face. “A week of pain went by that just got worse, and today I could not even walk. The incisions he made down there in me were swollen, and then there was a tearing, and the blood would not stop coming. I tried to call for help but everyone was at the show.”

           “Do you know who the Doctor was, Mildred Button? We cannot solve your murder unless you tell us who treated you here,” Fisher exclaimed.

           The Lady Isabella had tears streaming down her face. The voice came through with the sound of pure anger. “It was Dr. Baker Brown,” it hissed.

The Lady Isabella’s head collapsed onto the table. She looked up, appearing to be out of her trance. “God Almighty in heaven, rest her soul. That was the man who saw the Bearded Woman! I heard her go on and on about some cure, I thought she was talking nonsense!” Lady Isabella explained, voice back to normal.

The detectives looked back and forth at each other. “Are you thinking what I am thinking?” Detective Fisher asks his partner.

“That is the man we had been getting multiple reports about!” Detective Weaver shouted, slamming his palms on the table and getting up. “We can use Mildred Button’s death to finally end that Ratbag! This will make our careers!” He slapped his buddy on the arm.

The detectives shook the hands of Norman and Lady Isabella. “We will try to pin him for murder, but if that does not stick we will at least be able to get him for destruction of property for your freak show because you lost an act,” Detective Fisher said. “We must get going but we will update you guys when we can.” The two detectives ducked out of the tent together.

“I best be going,” Darwin said. “I am glad you will be getting justice for your friend Mildred, a man as dastardly as that deserves to be off the street for good. You cannot force evolution by removing part of a being.” He shook hands with Norman.

Charles Darwin turned to Lady Isabella. “I do not know what you just did there ma’am, but my wife is always telling me that there are things on this Earth that are truly beyond our comprehension and I think you might be the first proof I have found of that.” She smiled at him as he walked out of the tent to tell his wife and kids a new fantastic story to match those from his youth.  

[1] Charles Darwin, The Autobiography of Charles Darwin, 1958, 197.

[2] Nadja Durbach, “Monstrosity, Masculinity, and Medicine: Re-Examining the Elephant Man,” Cultural and Social History, 2012, 201.

[3] Durbach, “Monstrosity, Masculinity, and Medicine,” 201.

[4] Ibid, 201.

[5] Ibid, 194.

[6] Ibid, 202.

[7] “Prince Randian: Biography,” International Movie Database, 2017.

[8] Ibid.

[9] Nadja Durbach, “The Missing Link and the Hairy Belle: Krao and the Victorian Discourses of Evolution, Imperialism and Primitive Sexuality,” Victorian Freaks, 2008, 1.

[10] Ibid, 1.

[11] Darwin, The Autobiography of Charles Darwin, 107.

[12] Ibid, 103.

[13] Ibid, 198.

[14] Ibid, 199.

[15] Ibid, 107.

[16] Arthur Conan Doyle, The Sign of Four, 2001.

[17] Ibid.

[18] Conan Doyle, The Sign of Four.

[19] Alex Owen, “The Darkened Room: Women, Power, and Spiritualism in Late Victorian England,” The New Cultural Studies Series, 1990.

[20] Isaac Baker Brown, “On the Curability of Certain Forms of Insanity, Catalepsy, and Hysteria in Females,” 1866.