#let an autistic gayboy have fun

[timdales]

erica g-idle fan & sarah blackpink fan

[dxppercxdxver]

hey juno! 🌙! anyways, I have no clue what jonnymike deathtrap au is but it sounds decently cool!

also, one if you have from any wips with disability rep please!

also this is unrelated but I heard roses was about gay trauma and deep water, and jaws? what inspired that?

P.S. I’ve asked about hhsa for the past two asks, but, that juno character in it and their mysterious nature or disappearance is fascinating so if you have anything on that that would be cool

also P.S. stop sign junction is cool but already was asked so if there’s anything else about it to say and you want feel free to elaborate on it too

P.P.S i just realized spytown means saf and hadestown that’s so cool I’m not necessarily asking about that (unless you want) I just wanted to say this

hello again moonon!!!! once again you are being so kind to me with all of this, so let me see if i can indulge you

once again, putting this all under a cut because. Long

jonnymike deathtrap au is. a very self indulgent project i need to finish, but to try to summarize a deeply and stupidly complicated premise as best as i can, it's a crossover of three different pieces of media? through dumb circumstances me and @firstmatedville wrote a self indulgent crossover where mike nelson (of mystery science theater 3000) and jonny d'ville (of hit band the mechanisms) fell in love and had an epic romance. and then i decided to cross that over with my favorite play, deathtrap, which is a gay murder mystery about a playwright and his ingenue murdering his wife. it is So Much Fun and ransom's been yelling at me to finish and i am so sorry i haven't yet

MICHAEL. (Gestures to the body, almost proud.) Right on the rug. You can’t fault me for neatness.

JOEL. Mickey… What have you done.

MICHAEL. Exactly what I intended, my love.

JOEL. Don’t call me that.

MICHAEL. Why ever not, dear?

JOEL. You— Who are you?

MICHAEL. I’m the same person I’ve always been.

JOEL. No. No. You are a stranger to me, Mickey. (MICHAEL steps away from the body to come comfort her husband, but JOEL scrambles backwards with an aborted sob.) Get away from me.

MICHAEL. (Holds up hands in surrender.) As you wish. (Moves back to JONATHAN’S body, rotating his corpse so it’s parallel with the long side of the rug. Begins to roll the carpet over him, but pauses.) Your heart seems to have taken it.

JOEL. But for how long? When the police start asking questions, when his family comes knocking, what happens then?

MICHAEL. No one will know. (Keeps rolling up the body into a little corpse carpet taco.) Listen, once I get the ball rolling with this new script, we’re gonna take a long vacation, far from anywhere, a place where you can stay and rest, and where I can take care of you. A little cabin in the mountains, maybe.

JOEL. What, so you can kill me too?

MICHAEL. Why ever would I do such a thing? I did this—all of this—for you.

next up, disability rep!! i'm not sure i have any wips with that rn beyond what background disability i include in all my characters, but i did just publish a where or when fic that talks about a character's (non-canonical unfortunately) disability! linked here

third, the inspiration behind roses!! i am a certified autistic gayboy that hyperfixated on jaws upon watching it in october of 2020 and decided that the main characters martin brody and matt hooper had Something kinda homoerotic going on and also Latched Onto Hooper like a barnacle. so i wanted to do an examination of like. queer sexuality and disability and mental health in the 1970s. because both of these are characters with troubled pasts who are Going To End Up Mega Traumatized. and i wanted to examine what their lives might be like after the events of the movie!! i can go more in depth if you want later, but that's the basic gist :)

fourthly, juno in herronimus!! and his mysterious habit of disappearing!! i don't really have a passage that exemplifies this, so i'll just tell you about him!! idk how much nat's told you about the story, but juno's whole deal is that he's unstuck in time! in the flashback, he disappears because he's tried to make a deal with the main antagonist and instead gets swallowed by it and transformed into a bird, and he remains in that form for about twenty or thirty years until someone breaks him free and he becomes a Teenager again. so he's got a lot of memory issues and tends to wander off and not quite be grounded all the time bc he's like. All Knocked Out Of Time. and i care him Very Deeply

fifth!! fifhtly!! i think there's one character in stopsign junction i haven't talked about yet, which is an as yet unnamed rapscallion who has a bit of An Agenda. they're not evil, per se? but they're very possessive and distrusting and kind of want theo for themself, and when he doesn't work with them when they want they get Real Weird about it. big goth androgyny vibes, but this character is also subject to change bc i'm not Super set on them

aaaaaand finally, spytown!! spytown is mostly a published series/au that i've been working on with my beloved spytuals (@/szollibisz, @/considerablecolors, @/owen-not-carvour, @/teethworm, etc.) that's a crossover of spies are forever with hadestown. i left off in the middle of a fic where curt!orpheus and owen!eurydice meet, and it so so gentle (music!! love!! domesticity!!) but i just lost steam on it? series is available to be read on my ao3 here

once again, thank you so so much for letting me gush about all these stories!! blorbos from my brain <3

[lateral-org]

im doing all the fucking tag games tonight. Let's GO

Tagged by @beardedblack , ten tags ten characters ten fandoms. or whatever

Edward Teach. Our Flag Means Death. oh my god. he led me into my raccoon era and i am thankful. he is just like me for real.

2. Edward Nygma, specifically from fox's Gotham. This should be the only other Ed on this list but the night is still young. Autistic repressed theater gayboy. Everything i aspire to be and more. have you seen his sparkly suits. thank you. also i named my blog after him so he belongs on this list.

3. Martin Blackwood. The Magnus Archives. Shout out to the boy who helped me personify my depression(????) Lonely Avatars are the hottest bitches. thank you.

4. Shiv Roy. Succession. Oh my god. Ma'am? Ma'am. leave your husband and marry me instead. corrupt me with your capitalism. i couldn't change her but i'd let her change me. (honorable mentions of succession shoutout to tom greg and roman. but my girl shiv wins every time.)

5. Lalo Salamanca. Better Call Saul. He is the happiest unhinged person i've ever seen. im trying to bring that energy to the new year. remember that time he just. climbed into a ceiling. why did he do that??? unparalleled. adore him forever. (honorable mentions to jimmy and kim. y'all put the SLAY in relationship codependency)

6. Took me too long to get to CASTIEL SUPERNATURAL!!!! SPECIFICALLY FROM SEASON 4. just look at him . oh my god. cultural reset.

7. Katsuki Yuri. Yuri On Ice. I could have picked Vitya but there's something about my depressed little guy and his love for food that hits different. adore him endlessly.

8. Goro Akechi. Persona 5 Royal. Fuck this guy. I hate him so much. I want him dead. i want to keep him on a 4 foot leash. he's the love of my life. literally no character has sparked within me the feelings he has. love him forever. Light Yagami lookin ass. Encyclopedia Brown motherfucker. Ben Shapiro wannabe. Get out of my sight and into my bed

9. Power. Chainsaw Man. She is the queerest girl i've seen in my goddamn life oh my god i love her she's a feral gremlin child she's all the girls i hung out with in middle school do you see her walking around with her bra pads and her baggy jackets. gender.

10. Usagi Tsukino. Sailor Moon. She's the adhd girl representation i always needed as a child. thank you sailor moon for protecting innocence and femininity, you will never be overrated. also your fashion sense is still peak

Tag list: genuinely no pressure but this was really fun so have fun with it: @meanmisscharles @jacentric @vi-fallout @mysticaltragedyturtle @milkywayworm @twelves-guitar @colinthrobinson

[bisexualmaedhros]

22, 32, 39 for the trans ask game?

haha hi rei

this is the ask game they're referring to btw! anyone can send in asks from it still if u specify that's what they're for ^_^

22. do your neurodivergencies and/or disabilities affect your gender?

hm tbh i don't know! i wouldn't be surprised if my anxiety or ocd affected how i realized i wasn't cis— for years, i agonized over wether i was "right" or not, and if being "wrong" would mean i'd hurt the trans community in some way. i know that worry is common among plenty of questioning people, but i later learned it can be exacerbated by ocd and similar disorders. it was to the point where thinking about my gender and trying to figure it out made me incredibly anxious and uncomfortable, sometimes even nauseous.

i hesitated to openly call myself trans up until i was almost 18, when a friend at the time invited me to join a t4t server he was in. you didn't have to be exclusively t4t, but you did have to be trans. that invitation, to me, was kind of like... a reassurance. this other trans person who very much was "trans enough" (bs concept that i applied only to myself, you know how it goes) was acknowledging me as also "trans enough". a lot of people in that server did a lot of fun gender stuff, which made me much more confident in my own sometimes contradictory identity.

i'm no longer in that server, but i did make a friend there in the lovely @/noellegoesmeow, and i'll always be grateful for what i learned there.

ah, i guess i got kind of off-topic... while, after years of research, i suspect i may be autistic, i hesitate to openly and publicly claim that label*. so while i do know autism can affect one's view of gender, i'm not sure if that can be said for me.

(i do think, though, that being nd also kept me from realizing i was dysphoric for a very long time. i've always had a horrible time making sense of and naming my emotions, so i didn't realize what i was feeling was that until i described it to my therapist, ended it with "but i'm not dysphoric", and she was like "ok but isn't that... dysphoria?")

*not against informed self dx, just full to the brim with self-doubt. reread answer to question 22 for example.

32. how do you see yourself identifying/presenting in 5 years?

honestly i don't know! as time's gone on, i've gotten more comfortable with my own ambiguity, and i find the word "nonbinary" is both sufficiently vague so as to accommodate that, but also succinct enough so that i'm not left reaching for a word or categorization. it's a nice fit with plenty of wiggle-room.

i've also lately gotten more comfortable again with terms like "sapphic" and "wlw", which for a while made me quite a bit dysphoric. as long as they're being used to refer to me by someone who understands i'm not fully "woman". i do owe a lot of my joy regarding my contradictions to gnc lesbians, especially those who id as nonbinary and/or use pronouns other than she/her. while i don't share all their same labels, i've found a lot of the ways they refer to themselves have been comfortable for me, too (like using both masculine and feminine terms for myself in the same sentence, eg. "she's a funny guy")

39. is your ideal partner also trans, or do you not have a preference?

i don't really have a preference, so long as they're not awkward about my gender. cis and trans people alike can become uncomfortable when presented with nonbinary identities in general, let alone one that seemingly contradicts itself in their eyes. i think i would be uncomfortable around someone who seemed like they were walking on eggshells trying to get it right. i used to think i'd only be fully comfortable and feel understood with a trans partner, but i don't want to cut myself off that way. there are cool cis people

(maybe it's just a coincidence that 2/3 of my romantic relationships so far have been with trans people. shoutout to @/rei-is-reblogging-stuff and @/oohbrother girls who are gayboys have more fun, i'm told)