#let aaron and neil be friends 2k19

[itsstickball]

neil and aaron friendship only no one can tell if they’re bantering or actually still hate each other because it sounds the same? do they know if they’re friends or not? only andrew knows and he’ll never be bothered to tell

So the thing is, Aaron and Neil are actually fairly similar. Like Neil’s for sure got Aaron beat on the amount of fucked up shit he’s had to go through, but if you remove the mob, you’re left with two pretty similar dudes.

Both of them are assholes. Like Aaron is nice to Katelyn and Neil is….whatever, to Andrew and he’s learning to be soft with the upperclassmen, but otherwise?

I fully subscribe to the theory that someone took  video of the Great Riko Roast and of Neil punching Riko and that Aaron was the first to find them (and then watch them ten times before he shared them with the others).

They have no chill, is what I’m saying.

So once they’ve grown a tad (like, the smallest amount), they realize that they don’t actually hate each other? Like, they were essentially fighting over their places in Andrew’s life, lbr, but now they don’t have to and neil’s not hiding mob secrets anymore. They can co-exist and respect each other and it’s great.

And approximately .00001 things change in their relationship.

The most common phrases exchanged between them are “Fuck off” and “Fuck you” (to which Neil occasionally replies “no thanks, I’m demisexual, not minyard-sexual”)

They throw things at each other like…you need a pen? Think fast. Box of cereal? Catch! A raw egg that you didn’t even ask for? Hope it doesn’t hit the ground or both of them will have to endure Kevin’s rant about cleanliness. An entire dufflebag of Exy gear? Good luck!

And if it hits the other person in the face, or they have to drop other things in order to catch it? Even better.

Naturally, they insult each other constantly. Aaron’s favorite target is Neil’s disaster fashion sense. Like, unless Andrew dresses him – which is pretty distinctive, Aaron just rips into him.

“New shirt?” “Yeah.” “Did it come with a free bowl of soup?” “Fuck you.”

If one of them is trying to study or whatever and the other is being loud/annoying (playing video games, watching too many exy games, whatever), they don’t even bother getting up to tell the other person off, just yell at them through the walls.

They absolutely use deadpan/fatalistic humor with each other.

“If I hear one more mention of ligaments, I will jump out this window.” “God, I can only hope.”

“If I don’t show up to practice, you’ll probably find my body rotting in the languages building. My Spanish professor is trying to kill us all via strange verb conjugations.” “As if we’d ever be so lucky.”

“then perish”

Anyway…it makes sense that no one really knows what’s going on. It’s the center of a rather large bet – which Andrew doesn’t participate in or give any clue to because it amuses him.

Of course, the only way Andrew really knows is because he talks to them individually. Aaron goes to therapy with Bee on Wednesdays all of their third year until they finally feel like they’re in a good place and Neil is…well, Neil. He and Andrew don’t even try to hide things from each other.

Kevin is probably the closest to figuring them out, just due to all of the forced proximity. But he’s also shit at picking up on normal social cues, so he’ll think he has them figured out and then he watches them interact and is just like “???? What the fuck??” 

(Or Neil is throwing an egg at Aaron, who fails to catch it, and Kevin is then distracted by the need to yell at them)

Regardless, the bet isn’t settled until Aaron and Katelyn get married and Neil is somehow standing up front as a groomsman (thankfully with one of Aaron’s med-school friends providing a buffer between him and Nicky’s tears). Nobody understands still, but Robin makes a shitton of money.

Neil then proceeds to roast Aaron in front of 150 of his closest friends and family bc Andrew didn’t want to do the best-man speech.