#lessee if anybody sticks with it

[terassaras]

Year of the Lion: Zero

A Sangatsu no Lion/March Comes in Like a Lion fic.

Rei contemplates nothingness.

Read below or on AO3. DO NOT repost on any other platforms.

Chapter Warnings: deep introspection, much sadness & loneliness, mild dissociation & depression symptoms, a bit of philosophy thrown in.

Rei?

What a weird name!

But it suits you. No home, no family, no school, no friends.

 When I open my eyes, the sunlight is dancing across the ceiling in golden glimmers, reflected by the river flowing under a ribbon of robin egg skies. It’s the only time when the room would fill with warmth and shapes and colors. It’s like being inside a kaleidoscope.

Otherwise, the room is empty. No curtains, no bed, no desk, no sofa. Not even a bottle of cooking oil or a jar of salt on the counters. It doesn’t look like a home.

Maybe it’s because I don’t have one.

 There isn’t anywhere in this world where you belong, is there?

 Kyoko’s words pierce through my mind like midday thunder—a crack without a warning, a burn across my finger. The curse of a shogi player is a good memory. I can remember every syllable in her words as much as the acid on her tongue. They return every so often, merciless and clear, and each time I would think the same.

It’s all just as she said.

The only odd thing is that I’m not bothered by it.

Rationally speaking, there is no use in agonizing over the truth. It’s as if she had torn my shirt open and seen through my chest, a wicked smile breaking across her beautiful features, delighted at what she’d found. I had no defense—not against her words or—

Not against her.

 Kiriyama Rei. That is my name. Class C, Group 1, fifth dan. Age seventeen. Occupation: professional shogi player. Other than that—

 You are a zero.

 Kiriyama Rei. Age seventeen. First year of high school. Professional shogi player 5-dan. That is all.

As for what I have, well, I have this shogi board that Father gave. It is my most precious possession. Other than that, my apartment is empty. Empty—but with a mesmerizing view of the river.

I like watching the river. It is a wide, blue river that stretches and curves around the city, undisturbed by the motions of people or time, breathing constantly in quiet, peaceful waves.

But lately I felt lost even when I watch the water slowly rise and fall.

Rise, fall.

Rise.

Fall.

 Do you know that sensation when you jump from a high place into a pool? Those few seconds before you crash, when you have neither the earth nor your legs to support you, and you suddenly become painfully aware of your own weight?

And you think, “Have I always been this heavy?”

Gravity is pulling you into its core and there’s nothing you can do.

You know you’re going to hit the water. The surface tension explodes and the water suddenly becomes angry slaps running on your skin.

Suddenly you’re inside a different atmosphere. The angry sounds disappear, swallowed by the giant mass of dark water. Light flickers. The water over you won’t let the brightness in. And you are still going down, pulled by your own weight, which you thought was your own.

Your heart makes up for the lack of sound. It is beating wildly between your eardrums as it senses your panic. The adrenaline kicks in, heating your limbs down to your fingers, screaming at you to

Swim! Fight!

Forget everything else!

Breathe!

 Do you know that sensation of falling?

That is how I fear I’ll fall

Losing

Sinking

Deeper

As the days pass by

 ….

……….

……………….

Breathe!

The first gasp of air feels like a cold cut across my lungs. Even when the air stings, even if it burns my throat, even if my limbs feel like lead, I surface and breathe. I must.

So I swim.

And swim.

And swim.

And somewhere in the darkness of the ocean I’m swimming, under this sky that has only known storm and lightning, I frantically search for a place, a thing.

That’s right. If I can just get there, somewhere, some place where I won’t feel like falling once I stop moving. If I can get there everything will be—

Once I get there, I can stop moving, and there will be nothing. Maybe finally I can stop—stop this endless struggling, falling, thinking, feeling, suffocating, being—

 Looking at the shadows of shogi pieces in the vanishing daylight, pieces I haven’t moved since the blurry hours of the morning, I can’t tell if I’m still swimming or if I’ve stopped moving at all.

  Rei.

Zero.

A nothing.

Aside from shogi, I don’t have much and I have nothing to offer anybody. The memories of my family are hazy and I don’t remember them much. I might—I might’ve left them that way. And the family that took me in—I left them too, because I could see too clearly what my selfish hands had done to them. And now—

No home, no relatives, no school, no friends.

Well…

I think…

If having nothing means I’m not taking anything from anyone,

If feeling nothing means I’m not hurting anyone,

And if days when nothing happens mean I’m not hurting,

Then maybe it’s better that way.

Maybe I can accept being like this.

…

………

But then—what is this feeling that I’m not—that it’s not okay? That somehow...something’s…

  Emptiness.

I might have read the word somewhere, maybe in a middle school literature class, like in a poem or an essay. I didn’t think about it much back then. Maybe it was the day after a match. I was probably worn out, my mind wandering in a too-light feeling.

So I decided to go to the bookstore. I walked into the section bearing guides and tactic books for shogi out of habit. I passed by the magazine section just to glance at the shogi magazines though there’s no reason for me to pick one up. It’s not like reading shogi player interviews can help me win matches.

Then I found the dictionary aisle and looked up. Large books stood in neat rows, their spines almost as wide as my hand, their covers muted and fonts practical. Heavy and silent, the dictionaries seem almost proud, as if each of them held the entire weight of the world’s knowledge.

I shuddered. I suddenly felt so small—overwhelmed by the number of books, the immensity of their wisdom. If I knew nothing, then these pages must list everything. It suddenly seemed impossible to choose just one title. So many books, so many decisions I could make, and I couldn’t figure out what the right move was.

I couldn’t see a winning strategy.

I took a deep breath. I had to calm down. Even in shogi you have to make the first move—and even if it seems like a monumental decision, what follows is more important.

I took another deep breath. Eventually, I picked up a dictionary titled The Great Passage. The title sounded interesting for some reason. I flipped through the pages and found the word:

 空 【クウ】 (Kuu)

Definitions:

(1)    Empty air, sky.

(2)    Fruitlessness, meaninglessness

(3)    Void

(4)    Shunya: emptiness, nothingness; the lack of an immutable intrinsic nature within any phenomenon. Also: dependent creation. Buddhist term.

 Emptiness.

Can emptiness mean something?

I looked around for the nearest window. All above me was the monotony of rectangular ceilings and fluorescent illuminations. I got up and for some reason started half-running, half-walking towards the exit—and as I stumbled onto the empty sidewalk, I looked up.

Beyond the static skyscrapers were bright winter skies and not a single cloud.

Nothing in sight.

No, not nothing. I read about this. The atmosphere is made of gas particles that scatter the light at certain wavelengths perceived by the human eye as colors. And then beyond that is the milky way, the outer space, the entire universe, which continuously expands and which vastness is beyond reach and comprehension—

An endless depth. A void.

Huh. But you can’t really see anything up there from here, standing here on solid, concrete earth.

I went back to the bookstore and picked up the dictionary I had left. My head was running around in a hurricane of thoughts. I stared at the word for minutes, reading the definitions enough times for them to burn into my mind. One meaning had caught me.

It was shunya.

I shelved the dictionary back and went to a section I had never been, searching hastily for one kind of book. It was an unplanned decision. It was a book on shunya—on emptiness. It felt odd to buy something other than shogi books or textbooks—but I just felt like I had to. Maybe I was hoping it would help me understand a small part of this world—a small part of myself.

On my walk back to Rokugatsu Town, pressing the solidness of the book’s spine against my beating heart, I kept craning my neck up to the sky till it ached.

  Obsessed with emptiness, I tore through the pages of the book like a hungry beast. I was a lion on a huntI was on a silent journey, scanning my surroundings, sometimes running till my chest hurt and sometimes prowling, studying things from a great distance, trying to find things I could claw my desperate mind to. Any formula, any theory, any word that would quell this hunger. I skimmed through the introduction and jumped right to one part.

 Shunyata

A Sanskrit word, shunya means “zero,” “nothing,” “empty” or “void.” The root of the word is svi, “hollow,” and the noun form is shunyata, hence, “nothingness.” The Great Buddha describes it as void, the absence of rising and falling, cessation, and calmness. Dew drops, floating bubbles, flash of lightning, reflections in the mirror—these are all said to illustrate shunyata. However, it holds different meanings in different streams of Buddhism.

Although it may seem contrary, shunyata does not suggest some kind of “great void,” as if it were some dimension where nothing can be found. Rather, all existence and all nature are based in shunyata.

In Mahayana, shunyata is the belief that “all things are empty of intrinsic existence and nature,” or pratitya prasamutpada. That is, all things dependently originated. Everything we know is just an impermanent concept, they seem to appear and then disappear, when actually it is not so. They are things we thought to have name and a separate existence, when truly there is no real nature, essence, or substance in anything. No “things” or “conditions” appear on their own. Everything is interdependent and exists relatively.

However, that does not mean one’s experience is not real or that one does not exist. It is just that we choose to name and make concepts or boxes out of experiences or objects when they, in fact, are inseparable from everything else and will continue to change. We call a bicycle a “bicycle” but once the parts are taken out, do we still call them a bicycle? There is no one essence or substance that makes up a “bicycle” or stands for what “bicycle” is. Nothing stays as they are forever.

We tend to think of the “self” as “the self” and therefore cling to all emotions, thoughts, and experiences as though they were the most meaningful things. By doing this one would be filled with greed, craving, and suffering as one would be filled with ego. However, when one manifests shunyata or emptiness, one is freed from attachments, and one becomes egoless, or anatta, the non-self. The self is not attached to things and no thing is attached to its meaning as perceived by self. This is the only way to understand the reality of life. Perceived self is impermanent, perceived material is impermanent, and perceived existence is impermanent. Emptiness is the nature of all existence.

 Huh. Wait—hold on.

So emptiness is saying that…everything means nothing? It’s just all names and imagination? But then—

Oh, okay, nothing stays as they are forever—so in that sense, maybe things change and so will I. Things will change. I got that…I think.

Okay, so emptiness is not some great void, rather…all existence is…empty?

Wait—what?

Does that mean who am I or what I’m thinking or whatever I’m doing—it all means nothing?

That can’t—I mean—if that’s so, then what have I been doing all this time? What have I been agonizing over all this time!? It can’t all be nothing!

Oh—hold on, it says if we cling to our emotions, thoughts, and experiences as the most meaningful thing, we become filled with greed and craving and suffering…

Huh?

What?

Well I’m—I am suffering! What’s wrong with that? And I don’t even know why!

And what is this part!? It says you must become egoless? The not-self? What the hell is that? If I don’t have self, if I’m really empty, if I really don’t care about what happens or what I do or what I think or feel…

…

…..

 I guess the world I’m trying to understand is too different. The words were there but it was as if I was watching everything while hanging upside down. Even though—

Even though the book was called A Monkey’s Guide to Buddhism: Even Monkeys Can Understand!

….

…….

I just don’t get it.

Yeah. I really don’t get it—this emptiness thing.

  Okay, I have been thinking about this. How can I agonize so much if I say that I have nothing?

I’ve been trying to read that book. Maybe it’s that dependent creation again. It’s that…maybe who I am now…is because of everything that has happened. That includes every person I’ve met. Don’t they say that people leave an impression on you and that they never really leave you? So in a sense you are never alone.

That means….all the people I’ve faced on the shogi board are part of me. The hundreds, hundreds of people that I won and lost against, in front of that small board.

That also means…Father.

Maybe even Kyouko.

Mom. Dad. Chihiro.

But if that meant I wasn’t alone—it’s still strange. It doesn’t make a difference. It’s not like I can see or touch or talk to them.

The Buddhism book says that you go into this cycle—this samsara--that’s inescapable unless you reach nirvana. Everything just repeats itself over again. And as part of the cycle you can never escape this…grief, this dukka. That’s a part of life.

………

That’s sad, I think. That you can never escape this grief.

But do other people carry this grief too? This grief that just exists because you exist?

…

…I don’t know.

I really don’t know. Is that something you can ask other people?

No, no, no, no—just the thought of speaking to strangers is—and I mean with that kind of topic—there is no way, is there?

But if there were somebody I can ask…

Right—come o think of it, if other people are part of me…that means I would be part of others too.

Huh?

Wait, would I? Have I ever been that kind of person to someone? To anyone?

  It was childish and embarrassing, I guess, but I hid that book. I didn’t have many places to hide things in the apartment so I shoved it in a box of off-season clothes and old textbooks.

I didn’t want to see it again. Even the thought of confronting the title, lifting the pages weighed by so much wisdom, the black ink spilling blunt truths onto my hands—

It scares me.

Rather than ponder about all this…emptiness and life cycle and karma and attainment…things I can’t make heads or tails of…

I just want to think about things I can solve.

Yes, like shogi matches. That I can work with. If I just focus on game notations and think about tactics and practice and practice, I can just make out a path.

Yeah. I don’t need to worry about anything else.

Yeah.

  Back here again.

The pawns are raring. The knights, bishops, and lances are staring. The generals and the rooks are waiting. The board is standing there, expecting.

And I’m the only one who couldn’t make a move.

Though it’s almost the beginning of the new year, nothing has changed and nothing feels different.

I thought I’ve been swimming frantically all this time. But the truth is I’m slower than time. Most days it’s a struggle to pull myself out of bed and make the heavy thoughts go away.

But I mean—there’s no way I wouldn’t think or worry about things is there? About what I should do, about what I wished I didn’t do, about—

I guess that’s what happens when you have too much time by yourself.  

Thinking and worrying so much with no one to talk to, my head just keeps going in circles. The circles keep growing bigger and looser and wilder, like a child drawing with a black crayon, painting pictures not even he can understand.

There, sitting with arms wrapped around knees that throbbed from sitting too long, I’m floating in a giant starless darkness—and though my stomach pleaded and cried to me for food, I stay there, knees glued to my chest, listening to the endless drone of the heater that does nothing to the numbing winter night.

  I wake to the ache on my back. The blanket over my shoulder has joined the scattered shogi pieces on the floor. I must’ve fallen asleep at some point and kicked the board in my sleep.

Papers bearing game notations rustle under my hands, crumpling and sticking on my skin, as I rise and look outside to the new year’s sky.

It’s morning.

A grey morning.

A cold, grey morning.

And there’s shogi to do.

 Ah, I should probably eat….but making breakfast is a pain.

Hmmm, I should at least drink some water. No, later.

There’s laundry too—when was the last time I did it?

Right, at least I should change my clothes—but maybe later. It’s too much. I’ll just do shogi.

And the next morning will be the same. I’ll do shogi.

And the day after tomorrow will come and it’ll be the same. I’ll do shogi.

And then next year will come and I…

Author Comment:

Things get better, as Rei will learn, but it takes time. Also, there’s nothing like an existential crisis that can get you to read a book on philosophy and/or religion. Just…maybe not a book called A Monkey’s Guide. Word defintion taken from here.

There’s one more chapter planned for January and then one chapter (hopefully) for each month after. Comments, critics, and questions are always welcome.

 PS. Did anyone notice the reference to a recent anime?

[marijencqus]

Rental House Management Provider for Clients

Lots of residence owners like to have a rental house management company care for their residential properties. The reason behind this is the usual performance and professionalism, petroff.bg and trust that comes with a reliable and also renowned company. Many of these firms have actually developed regulations as well as guidelines with which they base their deals with their customers and also their renters. Some also have a variety of services which they can as well as have customized for their clients. Services Amongst the various services that a rental residence monitoring company supplies its clients, pairing up a dwelling and also a lessee may be just one of the harder. This is also one of the most important and the first steps to having pleased customers. Generally, both the proprietor of your house and the would-be occupant always has preferences which they will certainly inform the company agent. These choices are the bases of what each side wants from the other. For this component, it is important that the specifics of the owner of the residence be complied with because it is the property that will certainly be rented out as well as will certainly be under the treatment of one more individual throughout of the period of time showed. Troubles will be plentiful if there are offenses which are against what was originally specified in the contract. An additional solution that a rental house administration company may do for their customer is to accumulate the regular monthly charge from the occupant. This is pretty simple in terms that the contract will certainly constantly mention the fixed amount of rental fee that the renter is expected to give the company at a details day monthly. There might be other specifics linked to the repayment and this can be exercised before any signing of the contract is done. The finalizing of the agreement is legitimately binding which is why it is very important that the person that wishes to rent the building comprehend every single specification that is specified in it. The very same point opts for the owner of the domicile that is to be leased. Checking out the small print never hurt anybody as well as can enlighten those associated with the agreement signing. There are various preferences which will certainly be specified with concerns to the paying of the rental fee as well as these should be complied with in order to have an inconvenience cost-free remain in the dwelling. Proprietors should additionally stick to what has actually been agreed in the agreement, especially relating to the upkeep of the location. The scheduling of the upkeep and also repair work of the property is likewise component of the solutions that a rental home monitoring company includes their customers. This goes both to the person that possesses the residential property and to the individual renting it. Given that the company takes care of the property as well as all points connected to it. It is understandable that they also maintain a lookout for whatever needs repairs or maintenance. The common treatment is to establish a regular upkeep schedule to examine things. Any issues from the lessee pertaining to fixings must additionally be explored as quickly as feasible.

[shadowofimpendingdoom]

OK LIKE HELL AM I GONNA LEAVE THAT BE here are some new and improved Avery lines

@pasteldot this is your fault

Select:

“Lemme at ‘em!”

Pre-round introduction:

“Time to paint the town red!” “It’s very knife to meetcha!” “Youse ain’t gonna like any of what’s comin’ to ya.”

Samson: “I’ll teach ya a thing or two 'bout backstabbin!” A: “Chief, you don’t know what you’re doin’!” S: “Could say the same for you.”

Vice: “Don’t even try ta stop me!” “You can do better than this and you know it!”

Avery: “Hey!! Who do you think you are!?” “Lookin’ good. Now get bent.”

Krieg: “Wanna play Cat & Mouse!? ...Or would it be Goat and Bird...?” “You’ll never take me alive!” K: “I usually refrain from harming minors, but...” A: “If that ain’t the biggest load a’ bull I’ve heard today!”

Hungern: “And just when I thought we was gettin’ along.” “All you cops are the same, after all.”

Lev: “*nervously* I don’t know 'im!” (referring to Samson) A: “Just how many people has Sam pissed off?” L: “Every being he’s ever met.”

L: “You are not safe with him, little one.” A: “And you’re supposed to be any better?”

Sagan: “Start autographin’, pretty boy!” A: “Sure would be a shame for showbiz if yer face got messed up.” S: “Hey, I heard scars are all the rage these days.”

S: “I’ve killed more Skullgirls than you count, newbie.” A: “Should be a good time for retirement, then, yeah?”

A: “What up, doc?” S: “That’s my line!”

LG: “No hard feelings!” “Show me what’cha got, Red!”

Sekhmet: “Seriously, how many people did Sam piss off!?” “Nuttin’ but a dry well here, sister! Breeze off!”

Tara/Bee: “You don’t tell me what ta do!” “Outta my way!”

Buer/Gae: “Let’s see if all dat stuff they pumped into ya was worth squat.” “Guess Needles needed friends as creepy as her.”

Andy: “Step down, Andy! This is professional work!” “Go back ta your shows. I got this!”

Robo LG/Shamone: “What in the bull hickey?" “Guess this is happenin’ today.”

Skullheart: “Ain’t no runnin’ away now!" “Let ‘er go, skullbag!”

Combat:

“Real funny...” (Recover)

“You’ll pay for that!” (Recover)

“Oh, boohoo!” (Enemy recover)

“Drop dead already!” (Enemy Recover)

“Ya seem to be on edge.” (Enemy Recover)

“Stick around!” (Grab)

“What’s the rush?” (Grab)

“Wingin’ it!” (Grab escape)

“Open wide, blubber-mouth!” (Blockbuster)

“Dammit!” (Failed blockbuster)

“No, no, NO!” (Failed blockbuster)

“Uh oh.” (Failed blockbuster)

“Hey, git back 'ere!” (Failed grab)

“YOU WANT SOME!?” (Infinite Break)

“GET LOST!” (Infinite Break)

Switching/Tagging:

“Toucan play this game!” (Switch in)

“Save some for me!” (Switch in)

“Make way~!” (Switch in)

“Hate to cut and run.” (Switch out)

“All yours!” (Switch out)

“I’ll be back!” (Switch out)

“What’s-yer-face!” (Switch out)

Samson: “Chief!/Hair for brains!/Boozehound!/Rip ‘em open!”

Vice: “Minion!/Lackey!/Torpedo!/Break a leg or two!/Bruno!"

Avery: “Good-lookin’!/Yours truly!/Hot stuff, comin’ through!”

Krieg: “Fuzz!/Bad cop!/Soulja boy!/Officer~/Buttons!/Ten-hut!” A: “I won’t go to jail for this, right?” K: “Today.”

Hungern: “Fuzz!/Good cop!/Eyeball!/Pleasure workin with ya!”

Lev: “Wisehead!/Grandpa!/Stiff!/BBQ, anybody?”

Sagan: “Pretty boy!/Done powderin’ yer nose?”/ S: “This doesn’t mean we’re friends.” A: “Thank Venus.” / A: “This is a one-time thing!” S: “Please word that better.“

LG:  “Red!/Algae!/Kiddo!/Newbie!/Short stuff!/Show ‘em what for!”

Sekhmet: “Canary!/Chippy!/Dish!/Dame!”

Tara: “Jane!/Give ‘em hell, sister!/Give ‘em a shock!/Make yerself useful.”

Bee: “Bee’s knees!/Buzz!/Stingy, are we?/Feelin’ swell?”

Buer/Gae: “Droppers!/Palooka!/Tear ‘em to pieces!/Lessee what’cha got!”

Andy: “Kiddo!/C’mere, brat!/Make yerself useful.”

Robo LG/Shamone: “Uhhh./Sure, I guess?/Sams--! Wait.”

Skullheart: “No funny business!/I’m watchin’ you./McGuffin!

Win:

”Good knife and sweet dreams!” “Ya don’t seem t'be in a stable condition.” ’*Woody Woodpecker laugh*’ “That’s all, folks!” “I hope Boss hears o’ dis!”

Samson: “That’s what’cha get!” “You had it comin’.”

Vice: “I told ya--I’m the sharpest!” “Join me already!” “Typical slice-of-life drama.”

Avery: “That’s... uncomfortable to look at.” “There can be only one! The best lookin’ one!”

Krieg: “Yer job’s a heavy birden.” “No egrets!”

Hungern: “Well, yer better than yer brotha.” “Should’a stuck to babysitting.”

Lev: “I’ll pick my own friends, thanks.” “Chief’s got weird taste.”

Sagan: “*sarcastically* Poor rich kid.” “Sign ‘ere. Make it out to Peacock!” “Quit rufflin’ yer feathers!”

LG: “You’ve still got a way to go, twerp.” “What’s your deal?”

Sekhmet: “I’m tired of yer cuttin’ remarks.” “Go exit stage left, broad.”

Tara: “Try all ya want, you’ll never be my level!” “*mockingly* Does Tarry need new batteries?”

Bee: “Look’s like I’m the bee’s knees, after all!” “All swagger, no substance.”

Buer/Gae: “The heck’s Lab 0 up to?” “Braindead’s got nothin’ on me!”

Andy: “As usual, I gotta do all the work.” “Leave this to the professionals, kiddo.”

Robo LG/Shamone: “And I thought Buer was creepy.” “O-kay! Never again!”

Skullheart: “Rest easy, doll.” “I did it... I did it...!”

Lose:

“’M sorry, Boss...” “No fair...!” “I... can’t lose...” “You’re so... dull...” “*dreamily* Candy canes...”

Samson: “Filthy traitor...!” “You won’t get away with this...!” “Double-crossin’ sonnuva...”

Vice: “Don’t... trust them.” “But I’m the brains...!”

Avery: “That’s just uncalled for...” “Load a’ baloney!”

Krieg: “Child abuse not in yer book!?“

Hungern: “So much for that...” “Like big bro, like lil’ bro.”

Lev: “You’ve got issues...” “Still not... convinced.”

Sagan: “I hate you so much...” “So those weren’t special effects...”

LG: “No fair...!” “What's with you!?”

Sekhmet: “No... don’t....!” “Don’t hurt them...!”

Tara: “Anyone but... you...” “But I’m the better one...!”

Bee: “Laugh it up...” “Can’t believe this...”

Buer/Gae: “I can’t lose to... you...” “Wrong on so many levels...!”

Andy: “No... seriously...!?” “Dunno if I’m angry or proud...”

Robo LG/Shamone: “I feel... irrelivant.”

Skullheart: “Patty...!” “I can... still...”

Draw:

“Well I could’a done that.” “That was on purpose!” “I’ll get you, gadget...!”

[jobsearchtips02]

Verify Your Eligibility in These Settlements from Apple, Nissan

Car producers, cosmetics makers, a gun producer and an herbicide producer are among the many companies which have agreed to class-action settlements highlighted this month. See for those who qualify for a little bit of stuff in your stocking from these settlement presents. 

Nissan Altima CVT 

For those who owned or leased a Nissan Altima, mannequin 12 months 2013 by way of 2016, you could possibly be eligible for a $1,000 voucher.

In case your Nissan Altima is provided with a repeatedly variable transmission (CVT), each present and former homeowners and lessees may very well be eligible for compensation as a result of an alleged defect that induced transmissions to prematurely fail. Signs included shuddering, unexplained energy surges, automobile hesitation, stalling and different noises.

Affected homeowners could qualify to obtain:

Extension of the phrases of the Nissan New Car Restricted Guarantee for both 24 months or as much as 24,000 miles, whichever happens first. Reimbursement for transmission meeting repairs associated to the alleged defect. Anybody whose automobile required two or extra repairs or replacements can obtain a $1,000 voucher towards the acquisition of a Nissan or Infiniti. House owners of autos which are greater than 84 months previous or with greater than 84,000 miles usually are not eligible for the prolonged guarantee however they’ll declare reimbursement for bills associated to transmission repairs.

For full particulars, click on right here and submit your declare by the Jan. 30, 2020 deadline. 

Nissan Sentra, Versa and Versa Observe Transmissions

The 2016 Nissan Sentra is debuted in the course of the Los Angeles Auto Present, in Los Angeles. AP Photograph/John Locher

Nissan has additionally agreed to increase warranties and reimburse prospects for restore bills associated to Sentras, Versas and Versa Notes with faulty transmissions.

For those who purchased or leased a 2013 to 2017 Nissan Sentra, 2014 to 2017 Nissan Versa Observe or a 2012 to 2017 Nissan Versa, it’s possible you’ll be eligible for as much as $four,750 in restore reimbursement or a $1,000 voucher. 

Plaintiffs alleged the transmissions included a defect that induced the vehicles to all of a sudden jerk and shake whereas being pushed. The defect appeared outdoors of the five-year, 60,000-mile powertrain guarantee, leaving customers on the hook for the repairs. 

Potential awards are:

An extension of the Nissan New Car Restricted Guarantee from 60 months or 60,000 miles to 84 months or 84,000 miles. Customers can be reimbursed for 100% of transmission repairs they paid for, if the repairs had been made by a licensed Nissan supplier and different necessities are met. Reimbursement of as much as $four,750 is obtainable if eligible repairs had been made by a non-Nissan restore facility. Former homeowners who repaired transmissions two or extra instances could obtain a $1,000 voucher towards the acquisition or lease of a brand new Nissan or Infiniti automobile.

The declare deadline is Jan. 30, 2020 or 30 days after a qualifying transmission restore is made, whichever date is later. For full particulars, click on right here.

Younique Moodstruck 3D Fiber Lashes Mascara

Cosmetics maker Younique agreed to pay $three.25 million to resolve allegations the corporate deceptively marketed its Moodstruck 3D Fiber Lashes Mascara as consisting of “100% Natural Green Tea Fibers.”

For those who purchased Younique Moodstruck 3D Fiber Lashes Mascara between October 2012 and July 2015 whereas residing within the states of California, Ohio, Florida, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Tennessee, Texas or Washington, you could possibly be eligible to obtain a portion of this settlement.

The Younique lawsuit alleged the mascara’s fibers consisted of shredded nylon, and never of inexperienced tea in any respect. The corporate settled for $three.25 million. 

Every client will obtain an undetermined settlement quantity after charges and bills are deducted. No proof of buy is critical. 

The deadline is Jan. 21, 2020, so click on right here for extra info or to submit your declare. 

Spectracide Focus Herbicide

For those who purchased Spectracide herbicide in a concentrated kind between Sept. 21, 2013 and Nov. 1, 2019, you could possibly be eligible for a portion of a $2.5 million settlement. 

United Industries settled allegations its Spectracide herbicide focus was not as efficient when it was diluted per the directions. The 2017 lawsuit alleged the diluted product was solely efficient on “newly emerged weeds.”

The corporate admits no wrongdoing, however agreed to make modifications to its product labels.

Customers can obtain $6.25 per eligible Spectracide product. As much as 4 claims are allowed per family, or a most of $25 in compensation. 

Receipts or the dates and places of the purchases should be supplied. Click on right here for settlement particulars and file your declare by Jan. 20, 2020.

California iPhone four, 4S and 5 Energy Buttons

The Apple iPhone 5 is on show in San Francisco. AP Photograph/Eric Risberg

For those who’re a California resident who purchased an iPhone four, 4S or 5 smartphone that included a faulty energy button, you may benefit from a $20 million class motion lawsuit. 

For those who purchased an iPhone four between June 24, 2010 and Oct. 10, 2011, or an iPhone 4S between Oct. 11, 2011 and Sept. 20, 2012 and the ability button stopped working or labored intermittently inside a 12 months of buy, you might be doubtless eligible. Additionally included are California residents who purchased an iPhone 5 previous to April 1, 2013, and the ability button induced issues inside three years of buying. 

For those who had your iPhone repaired or changed by Apple totally free due to a faulty energy button, you gained’t be eligible for this settlement. 

Every California claimant could obtain as much as $24 per qualifying iPhone. For particulars, click on right here and submit a sound declare kind by the March 23, 2020 deadline.

Vary Rover Suspension Defect 

For those who owned or leased a 2003 to 2006 Land Rover Vary Rover, you could possibly be eligible for a part of a $6.7 million settlement over the autos’ faulty suspensions.

The lawsuit alleged the SUVs’ entrance air springs might crack or leak. The ensuing lack of air stress allegedly stored the Vary Rovers from having the ability to journey in a straight line, probably leaving drivers vulnerable to dropping management.

Remaining approval for the settlement is scheduled for Feb. three, 2020; present and former homeowners and lessees would have till Could three, 2020 to file a declare.

House owners might acquire partial or full reimbursement for out-of-pocket bills for changing an unique entrance air spring as a result of an air leak. The quantity of reimbursement will rely upon the years in service and mileage.

Proof of fee of bills and different documentation is required. For full particulars and a declare kind, click on right here.

Tarte Excessive-Efficiency Naturals Cosmetics

Tarte Inc. pays $1.7 million over allegations its high-performance naturals cosmetics and skincare merchandise really contained artificial components.

If the proposed settlement deal receives closing approval, prospects who purchased a Tarte high-performance naturals product between Nov. 13, 2013 and the deadline of Jan. 21, 2020 will likely be eligible to obtain $5 per product for as much as 10 gadgets. A receipt just isn’t required, however different info will likely be required to ensure that the declare to be fulfilled.

Customers who embrace a proof of buy will obtain a full refund. 

Among the many merchandise included are the Tarte Skincare Frxxxtion Stick, the Tarte Skincare Brazilliance Self-tanning Face Towelettes and the Tarte Skincare Pack Your Baggage Undereye Patches, all of which allegedly include artificial components equivalent to butylene glycol, glycerin and phenoxyethanol. 

To submit a declare by the Jan. 21, 2020 deadline, click on right here. 

Rossi Revolver

Forjas Taurus has agreed to a $38 million settlement concerning allegations its Rossi revolvers can hearth if dropped.

For those who purchased a Rossi model .38 Particular or .357 Revolver manufactured between Jan. 1, 2005 and Dec. 31, 2017, it’s possible you’ll be eligible totally free restore of the weapon and money. 

The affected Rossi model revolvers are fashions R35102, R35202, R85104, R97206, R97104, R46202, R46102, which had been manufactured by Forjas Taurus and embrace a serial quantity stamped on the body of the revolvers starting with the letters Y, Z, A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, or Ok.

In response to the allegations, the Rossi revolvers can discharge when dropped due to a defect. The gun maker is accused of failing to warn of the defect or difficulty a recall. 

These with the affected weapons could have their revolvers inspected, repaired and cleaned at no cost, and obtain an enhanced guarantee and a $50 inconvenience price. 

For full particulars and to submit a sound declare by the Oct. 22, 2020 deadline, click on right here.

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[originaldetectivesheep]

A Life of Riley Part 2: The Building That Had A Grudge Against Furniture Or Something ch 2

Chapter 1

II

"So, you'd have the whole fourth floor," this guy – Maurice? I guess – said, leading us up the stairs.  "Some of the people still in the house used to be up here last year, but we lost about a floor's worth of people to graduation and moving out, and we wanted to stay together – not stick new roommates in with everyone unless it was someone's partner moving in, which didn't happen.  And it's been kind of hard to pitch it to like one or two people – having the four of you come in, if you like it and everyone's cool with you, would be just about perfect."

Remy looked around from the landing, hands down in his pockets.  "There are sure a lot of doors up here – what's the layout like?"

Maurice scratched his head.  "It's maybe a little flexible, but it's pretty much four medium-sized bedrooms, two on each side with connecting doors between the ones on the same side.  The ones by the front have their own entries, the two by this end use the main door here – or you could just walk through your friend's room and the connecting door if you're that close."

"Yeah, we're close, but not quite that close," I said, ignoring very different but very calculated looks from both Remy and Carolína. "So this is the main entry here?"

"Yeas," Maurice said, unlocking the door.  "You've got the doors on each side for the inside bedrooms, then a couple coathooks here in the hall and the bathroom, then a small common room.  They didn't run gas up here, so it's not a kitchen, but people usually have a microwave in here to make popcorn and stuff.  The bathroom's fully functional, but the water pressure in the shower's not too great; people usually go downstairs to shower, and if you clear it with whoever on the second or third floor it's usually fine."

Leo pushed in ahead of me and nodded, looking around.  "It's that easy?  It sounds like everyone here gets along pretty well."

Maurice shrugged.  "Yeah, mostly we do; some of it, it's a big house and we can stay out of each other's way when we're home, but we do like each other, we do do stuff together more than maybe you'd get with eight or twelve randoms in a house."  He unlocked one of the side doors, the ones going to the connected bedrooms.  "We'll go around this side, out this side's entry, and then you can look over the other two from the other side, and then we'll go back downstairs and you can meet whoever's in.  Unless you want to look more at the bathroom and the common area up here?"

"No," said Carolína, shaking her head as she ducked back from around the bathroom corner.  "I think we're good; the bathroom looks like it's in working order, and the living room or TV room or whatever looks like it belongs to normal people.  Is that wicker table somebody's?"  She followed Remy in to the bedroom behind the rest of us.

"No," Maurice said, shaking his head and craning back like he thought he might be able to see it around the turn of the halls.  "No, at least not anyone who still lives here.  I think it belonged to Rachel, but she left it after she moved out, and then Arturo put it up here when he took over her room."  He looked up at Remy as he opened the connecting door to the front-side bedroom.  "You said you were on the taekwondo team, right?  Did you know Rachel Cuffey? She did karate, and I don't know if you had like joint practices or something where you might have met her."

Remy looked up at the high ceiling, the tall wood-framed windows, like he was thinking.  "Rachel – oh, Cuffer, right!  Yeah, I think I remember – I think it was that she was dating one of our old captains back before she got together with that guy she's engaged to now, but they were cool, so she'd show up and spar sometimes, or just hang out.  Like three inches taller than Carolína, half a shade browner, a really mean hip kick that you can't block?"

Maurice laughed.  "I don't know about the kick; she never kicked anyone in the house.  But everything else checks out.  I think you'll probably be cool, but if we have problems deciding later, we'll text her and ask about you."

"If she mentions anything about beercan golf, what you have to know as someone who doesn't do combat sports with her, is that there are these very limited and very specific areas where Cuffer is actually a tremendously huge liar.  They don't come up much in normal day to day life, but, y'know, just to be aware, like."  Maurice nearly fell over laughing about this as he opened the door out onto the landing, then stumbled his way over to the other side to open the other bedroom set.  It wasn't that good a joke – I didn't know what Carolína was looking up at me like that for as we went across the hall.

The bedrooms on the other side were pretty much the same as the first two, only backwards; adequately clean, decently lit, big enough for a normal person and their stuff without feeling like there was wasted space, private enough that despite being so close, you didn't necessarily have everyone else in the quad up in your business all the time.  It was decent enough for me, and it seemed to be decent enough for everyone else; not a lot of other questions as we went back down the stairs to look over the common areas on the first floor.

"This is the main living room – hi Arturo, hi Gloria, prospective roommates checking the place out" – Arturo, a Latin-looking guy with round glasses and black stubble, and Gloria, a black or native-Australian girl with her braids up on a twist, looked up from grading papers or marking up textbooks or something and waved – "you can come down whenever, but don't play the stereo too loud late, and if you're going to be dropping into the end of a show, check that you're not spoiling it for whoever else is down.  The kitchen's through this way – there's a chores list and a rota for buying like pasta and rice and onions, but anything else you put your name on like anywhere else.  Back that way is the downstairs bathroom and the dining room; we mostly just use that for parties, but if you want to meditate or like do tai chi or whatever your forms are it's usually open."  Maurice opened a cabinet up over the refrigerator, and got up on tiptoe to get out a stack of forms.

"These are just the application; we'll take them and the landlord might run a credit check, but she's used to us and anybody that we like and can make the security deposit, it's just a formality.  You seem like good people, so probably just what'll happen is we'll do a house meeting in a couple days when everyone can be around, the rest of the guys will agree that you're cool, and then we'll take the deposit and sign the lease right then."  He spread four of the application forms out on the table, and Remy started slapping his pockets for a pen.  I sighed and handed him one out of my bag; what was he doing, pretending he wasn't an engineer to look cool in front of these people?

"Sounds like a plan," Leo said, flipping around idly through the boilerplate that was probably 80% required by the city, 20% no pets and no vaping indoors.  "After we sign, will you need the first month's rent right then?"

"No, not necessarily, not right away," Maurice said, hands up as he leaned back on the oven rail.  "The landlord's chill, so we're not hurting for it.  We can decide when we have the house meeting; we won't need the first month until you guys actually move in.  This late in the year, I know you might have leases to get out from under that might need time to settle, or to get everything together to move."

"Good deal," Leo said, nodding.  "Yeah, we'll work it out together, but for my part I'd rather sooner than later.  I don't have a current lease, or a lot to move – I was in Muttonbird, but then that place burned down, you know, and I've been living on a bunch of cardboard pallets under a drill press in the AP lab."

Something clunked hard, and I looked up to see Maurice's mouth hanging open, his eyes goggling out; it was his hands that had fallen and smacked the crap out of the oven door.  "AP," he repeated faintly. "The AP lab – that's Applied Physics?  You're in the Applied Physics lab?  The one with Riley Kannacheskis?"

"Leo's not actually in the lab," Carolína put in, sounding like she had the same feeling I had, that this landmine had already gone off, but why not try to limit the damage. "He – he just works there sometimes, and Riley offered him a place to sleep after his apartment burned down."  This probably wasn't a helpful look, and it was also going to lead directly to Maurice's next question, because anyone who knew how and why Leo wasn't part of the lab probably was part of it themselves.

"But – the rest of you – some of you are with that lab, if you know that – and seriously, if Riley's letting him sleep there I don't know how that couldn't be constructed as –"  Maurice was looking seriously twisted up, almost afraid about something – afraid of telling AP people that we weren't welcome here, or afraid of something else.

"Oh, all right, fine, whatever," I said, hands on my hips.  "We'll come clean.  I don't know what kind of dumb lies you've been hearing about Applied Physics, but we don't bite.  We're not from outer space.  Look, I'm in the lab, and Carolína's in the lab, and Leo lives there and works on stuff, and Remy hangs out too much, even though he's a ChemE and shouldn't even be in the same building, because we're good company and he also wants to get into my pants.  You've met us.  We were cool half a minute ago.  What happened?"

"It's in the lease!" Maurice blurted, twisting his hands around each other.  "I'm sorry!  You do seem like good people – if you weren't in the AP lab then sure, we'd be chill, you'd be signed up from yesterday!  But the landlord changed the lease for this term – look at this here!"  He took the application out of my hands and turned to the third page, pointing at a paragraph midway down. Lessee agrees not to cosign for, nor sublet to, nor entertain as a guest for more than three (3) nights continuously any person affiliated with or connected to the university Applied Physics lab, nor any of their dependents.  What the hell.

I grimaced and shook the paper – shook Remy's application paper, because Maurice was still leaning on mine.  "Can you even do this?  This is a covenant, isn't it?  How is that legal?"

"'Belongs to a lab with a track record of building illegal weapons and setting things on fire' isn't exactly a protected class," Leo said, staring up at the ceiling fan, his jaw set.  "I think they got us, and even if they don't it's not worth fighting about."

"I'm so sorry!" Maurice said again, almost tears in his eyes.  "I'm sorry – I'm really sorry – you seemed like such good and nice and chill people, I didn't think to ask at the start, and even if I thought to, I wouldn't've wanted to weird you out.  I'm so sorry – I'm so sorry I got your hopes up and –"

Somehow, we managed to get out of the house without him melting on us, and with most of a twelve-pack of Lagunitas as an apology present on the way out the door.  Whoever got into that fourth floor was going to be in a college-movie paradise setup – but it wasn't going to be us. "Man," Remy said, digging into the beer box as we walked towards the bus stop, "if everyone's going to be this nice when they find out we're with Riley's lab and they can't rent to us, I'm all about getting rejected from another ten places today."  He pulled a can out and rapped twice on the top by the pull ring.

"Jesus, don't drink that in the middle of the street," I said, taking the beer out of his hands and shoving it back in the box.  "And save it – not everywhere's going to be that nice.  More accurately, nowhere is going to be that nice.  What's the next address?"

"Fifteen Bridgend," Leo answered, looking at his phone.  "Two stops and a bus change – it's way down past the scuzzy end of Frat Row into the scuzzy, scuzzy end of off-brand Frat Row; we better keep the beers in case we need to buy our way through."

As it turned out, we didn't; Frat Row and then the rest of Benrod Street and finally Bridgend Avenue at the bottom of that were all quiet this early, only a few people sprawled out passed out on lawns or in bushes, sitting vegetating behind dark glasses on porch couches, and we got up to number fifteen with all of our beers and without having to step in anybody's vomit.  That was probably a better Saturday morning than usual around here.  It took a couple minutes standing on the porch for Leo to text this guy Al who was supposed to be showing the room, but eventually he stumbled his way out through the screen door, unlocking it on the third try, and let us in the house.

"Yeah, so, like, it's the top floor, uh," he said, still in dark glasses coming through a kitchen full of empty cans and what looked like a picnic table with most of its legs cut off, "I guess you can go up and look, I'm pretty sure that Stalebread stapled down the carpet again yesterday before the party.  Before that you'd'a have to be careful, it got mad ripped up from dudes sledding down it three weeks ago."  He pointed up a narrow staircase covered with bumpy carpet that looked like it had been attacked at random by a drunk chimpanzee with a staple gun.  There were screw holes in the wall where the brackets for a banister had gotten ripped out; I put my hand over them to lean on as I went up.

The upstairs stunk less like bong water and stale beer than the downstairs did – but more like mold, and unwashed dudes, and something else I couldn't place.  The two rooms here were two large bedrooms that we'd have to do as doubles – and then we'd have to interact with the rest of the house for literally, literally anything else.  The windows were tiny, covered in metal ventilation grates, and the sliding-door closets were falling apart; some of the electrical sockets looked okay, but some of them, stuck in weird places behind stand-up radiators, looked like This Is A Fire Hazard illustrations in a bad OSHA training video.  "It's… a little close in here," I said at last, looking around at the paint on the walls bulging as a layer of wallpaper somewhere underneath tried to peel.  "Have these rooms been just closed up since whoever moved out?"

"Yeah, more or less," Al said, nodding, huffing beer breath out too close.  "This one, it's been like this since Piggo's girlfriend lost her shit when Runksey sawed all the legs off the table and made them move out, but the other one, after Melvin ghosted we had to clean that up special, so it was open for a while.  It took like a week to make sure that we found all his piss bottles and got'em cleaned out, so yeah, it was open then."  He had his back to Carolína, and couldn't see the way her face was distorting into shapes people normally had to do with CG in horror movies.  "Anyway, that's, like where rooms would be; you wanna check out the rest of the house?  We have, like, uuuuurp, this sick bar in the basement, breh."  He nudged his way past Leo out the door and down the steps, and we followed.

"Sajitha, this house is no good," Carolína murmured to me as we went down.  "I don' feel safe here."

"Same," I muttered back.  "Forget the part where we're guaranteed to get raped sooner or later, I feel like I'm getting tuberculosis just standing around inside.  Who wants to bet they didn't actually find all the bottles of this guy Melvin's pee and there's still some lying around upstairs?"  No takers.

When we got to the bottom of the stairs, we found Al tugging and bumping at a door next to the stairwell that had to go into the cellar, without any luck in terms of opening it.  "It's… shit, it must be locked, like Robbo or Limpos went up the other way last night. I'll go around and… uh, open the bulkhead and come back and show you around.  Just – just like one second, dude."  He walked past us, out through the carnage in the kitchen and outside, leaving the four of us alone in someone else's filthy party house.

I beckoned everyone in.  "Right, huddle up."  We huddled. "Reviews?"

"I heard what you were saying, and you're right, this place is terrible and not safe.  I'm not going to ask you to live here."  Remy, at least, was getting out in front.

"This place is the filthiest excuse for a house I have ever been in, and I have been to uncles' bachelor pads in the barrios in Barranquilla."  Carolína was shaking with rage.

"There is a story behind who or whatever cut almost all of the legs off of that stupid picnic table," I added, the others having covered all the important points, "and I feel like if I ever find out what it is, I'll lose too many brain cells to call the police and report it like I ought to.  Leo, what about you – what the hell possessed you to put this place on the list?"

He shrugged from the other side of the huddle.  "They were asking six hundred a month for two doubles.  It's not worth it."

"Forget a hundred fifty, I would not let them pay me six hundred dollars a month to live in this sty."  If we didn't get her out quick, Carolína might decide to cleanse this place by fire.

I stood up, dropping my arms.  "If there's no way we're taking it, no matter if they have friggin Studio 54 in the basement, let's cut bait and get the hell out of here.  Do we have to tell that guy we're going?"

Remy shook his head.  "Saj, that dude was high as shit.  He's probably standing in his bulkhead right now turning around in place, wondering what the hell he came down there for.  Let's just rip off their liquor cabinet and ghost."

"No dice," Leo said, already looting the cabinet next to the fridge. "There's nothing here – there's just an open bottle of Dr. McGillicuddy's that's evaporated into toothpaste sludge, and then like an apocalypse's worth of giant ketchup bottles.  Let's just take our beers again and go before this place gets any weirder." None of us needed any more encouraging – when someplace is getting too weird for our lab, it's time to officially GTFO.

"Ugh ugh ugh ugh," Carolína said, scrubbing her arms with her palms as we walked back up towards the bus stop.  "I need a shower.  I need all the showers.  I don' know like I'll ever feel clean again."

"I get the feeling, but going home to take a shower and then getting right on the bus again seems like wasted effort," I said, "and it's like physically impossible that the next place won't be cleaner and, like, generally more suitable for human habitation than this one.  Where are we going next?"

Leo scrolled his phone.  "Groveton Towers.  And we'd better hurry, and make sure that we make the bus change in front of the post office – this is the kind of place where we have an appointment with the realtor."

"Just great," I said.  "Just awesome, piss bottle house to meet-with-a-realtor development.  Now I want a shower."

I didn't get a shower, obviously, but it didn't matter, because even if I had, I would have felt like a freshly-showered peasant instead of a not-freshly-showered peasant who'd been riding the bus all morning when Ellen, the power-suited realtor, finally let us out of the marble-finished elevator and opened the heavy hardwood door onto the model Residence – not an apartment, not a condo, a Residence with a capital goddamned R – midway up the brand-new Groveton Towers building.  It was ridiculous.  It was stupid ridiculous, high-pile carpets that Remy was walking on gingerly, like he was going to sink into it like quicksand, giant sprawling spaces of an open-floor plan away from the two very private, very tasteful, double-uppable bedrooms, all littered with tasteful Italian furniture that had been bought by someone on purpose rather than scooped off the curb on the basis of "well, this doesn't look moldy or smell like cat piss". It was all staged – it was a model, after all – and any apartment we took in this building would just be a warehouse slice with granite countertops and waxed hardwood floors completely empty of stuff, but it was also a warning sign: this Residence was going to be so suffocatingly goddamn expensive that anyone who could afford the rent could naturally also trick it out in Italian leather.

This, obviously, was way beyond the means of four college students who were looking around at the furnishings like panicked punchbowl turds, and Ellen very naturally introduced the topic in as smooth and as natural and as unthreatening a way as she could.  "So, while you're looking over the furnishings, do you have any questions about the rest of the complex?  About the tenant amenities?  Was there something in particular that attracted you to Groveton Towers?"

Leo answered; he'd put this place on the list, and the rest of us were all looking to him for an explanation of exactly how he thought this might be affordable or realistic at all.  "Well, I guess it's like when you apply to Harvard on top of all the schools you think you'll get into; because why not, and you never know.  I get it, it's not really typical student living, but I was looking on the website, and if we could get a two-bedroom like this for two thousand, that's right out at the edge of what we could do with the four of us, so why not reach for the stars?"

"Oh!" Ellen said, just that one sharp pain point in her voice like she had something really bad to break to us, and was trying to decide just how polite she absolutely needed to be to people who topped out a five hundred bucks a head on rent.  "From the website?  With the calculator?"  Leo nodded.  "Oh.  I see.  I see.  I'll have to talk to IT about that, if it's not clear; the calculator finds an expected rent per occupant, not per unit.  I'm very sorry for the confusion."

Well, that cleared a lot up.  This definitely looked more like an eight-grand apartment than a two-grand unit, and I gave Leo a displeased look.  If we were blaming him for wasting our time, Ellen might blame us all less for wasting hers, and we could get out of here with a minimum of getting sneered at as uppity poors.  "Come on, Leo," I said, "seriously?  I knew I should have checked these.  And this is probably the most affordable multi-bedroom unit type in the building, so there was no point in even coming up, right?"

Ellen inclined her head a little.  "Yes – yes, you're right on that one.  I'm sorry, again, that the website wasn't clear, but if the footprint you can afford here is really more on the size of one of our mailboxes, wouldn't your time be better spent on another property?"  Jesus ouch.  That was cold.  I bit my tongue and let Ellen hustle us all downstairs again, and hustled the rest of us out and down the steps so that we'd get clear before she started punching walls and screaming about brokeass college kids wasting her time.

"Can I drink one of them beers now?" Remy asked, reaching for the box as we ducked around the Groveton's rank of Tesla supercharger posts and made our way out into their parking lot.  "They gotta be getting warm, and I gotta wash the smarm outta my throat after that."

"Fine," I said, handing him a can and taking one myself, "but only because I want a drink and this is also the kind of place that needs empty beer cans thrown over their fence."  Leo took the box from under my arm and handed one to Carolína, setting it on the ground as he opened his up, pointing it at the fence to foam out.

"God damn it," I said, covering my mouth with the back of my hand after a long, long swallow, "what the hell.  You were right, Leo, this is hard as crap.  If it's not eye-bleeding expensive it's full of mold and piss bottles and druggies – and if by a miracle it isn't either of those, people are writing friggin covenants against the lab now.  I know you've got a couple more places on your list, but you're probably right: there's no way we're going to find a good apartment this time of year, even with four people."  I chugged down most of the rest of the can, swishing the dregs around in the bottom, not sure if I wanted to drink the rest of this, or throw it over the fence as it was and maybe leave more of a smell on the other side.  Remy had shotgunned his beer, and he flipped his empty over the fence, digging in the box for another one.

"Hey! Hey!  Were you just rejected from Groveton?  Are you looking for an apartment?  A condo?  I can help!"  I looked up to see who this was who was barking for apartments in the parking lot of someone else's luxury condo, and unexpectedly saw a short brown girl with straight black hair, east Asian features, and a trim but heavily-worn gray pinstriped suit charging over at us at a rate of knots.  Her nylons were stretched, and her low-heeled shoes were scuffed at the toes; she'd been pounding the pavement for a while.

"Hey! How are you!  How are you?  What kind of place are you looking for? I'm Sandra – Sandra Khee, call me Sandra – I'm an agent for the Renfield Arms.  It's close!  We have vacancies!  I can do a deal for you – I can do a really good deal for you!  Won't you come and have a look, if you're looking for an apartment around here?"  She buzzsawed her way across each of us, pumping everyone by the hand, leaving each of us a business card that she must have magicked out of somewhere that I wasn't watching, and latched herself onto Remy's arm with both hands, holding it across her body like she'd picked out our biggest weak spot at the first glance.

"It's not far!  It'll be really quick, and I'm sure you'll love it!  Don't you have a minute to come and take a look?"  She was already tugging, and Remy for all his being Remy did manage to resist a little, even if it was maybe that he just wanted to finish his beer first.

"I – uh, Sandra, I'm sure that your place is lit, but if it's like around here I dunno if we can afford to even look at it – like, Sajitha, what was that thing the lady said to us about not affording the mailbox?"  He was looking at me like he kind of wanted moral support, but the rest of his body obviously wanted to go wherever the cute real-estate pixie was trying to drag it.

"Two thousand bucks a month apparently gets you a nine-by-eight-inch mailbox at Groveton Towers," I said, slugging the last of my beer and throwing the can over the fence with a plink, "so to get enough space to put down a couch we'd have to take out another tranche of student loans.  Is this Renfield place like that?  Do you get a commission for getting heads through the door, even if they'd have to hit the lottery to be able to afford whatever you've got vacant?"

"No, no!" Sandra said, at least letting go of Remy's arm to wave my concerns away.  "No, it's not like that – it's not a timeshare.  I don't work on that kind of commission – I have empty units, and I want to get good people into them, and I just know that we'll be able to find you your perfect apartment or your perfect condo, and we'll be able to make a good deal to get you into it at your perfect price.  Won't you come and take a look?  Please?  You've come out this far, if you're students, and just gotten abused by those Groveton people; we'll take better care of you, and I just know you'll find something you like.  Please?  Please?  It won't take a second."

Leo finished his beer and chucked the can away to the side.  "Why the hell not; we don't have any more appointments and this can't be any much more of a waste of time than anything else we've done this morning.  Whatever, let's just go; she's obviously not going to let go of Remy until she gets us to sign something."  I scowled at that, more than I ought've, because even though it was obviously true and she was obviously pressing Remy's arm right into her cleavage I wasn't sure what her high-pressure tactics had to do with me.

"Fine. Whatever.  You guys want to look, I'll come along."  Sandra immediately smiled from ear to ear, then started dragging Remy away like she was hauling like a crossfit truck tire by a rope over her shoulder, and the rest of us followed on after.

Sandra did have to let go of him to unlock the door once we got over to their demo unit or whatever, only a few streets away and across a bit of greenbelt with a stream flowing into a culvert, and then she didn't grab him up again as she led us around the place, gabbing a mile a minute.  Four small single bedrooms, nice and private; clean and new-built common areas, a modern kitchen, all appliances included, and if the rest of the condo was completely unfurnished, that just meant that nothing was being covered up.  It looked legit: it wasn't another penthouse like that Groveton place, but this was a legit condo that you could legit rent to grown-up people with actual incomes, not college students living hand to mouth.  There had to be a catch somewhere.

"And if you look at the standard lease," Sandra said, pulling a tri-folded sheaf of paper out of an inside pocket in her suit jacket, "you'll see that we normally offer this unit for a very reasonable twenty-nine a month – all utilities included.  But like I said, I'm certain that we can get you into a perfect apartment like this at a price that is right, so for the first year we can strike out this stated rent and offer a very special introductory rate, like so" – she Xed out the $34,800 next to the yearly rent and replaced it with something with four digits – "and I know that when the time comes to renew we'll be able to make another deal on good terms."

"That – for – how long is the lease for?"  Remy was as confused as any of us, maybe more with the way she was standing next to him.

Sandra put both of her hands on his arm to answer, and my eyebrow twitched involuntarily.  "A standard one-year lease.  Don't worry – we won't take advantage of you.  We want to make a good deal, so that you're happy; we'll do everything we can to make sure you enjoy your time with us."  There was definitely a double meaning in that; I looked over at the kitchen sink and wondered how long the bendy cable inside the faucet head was, and how much water pressure I'd be able to get if I had to turn the hose on them.

"But – with that – the security deposit –" Leo was looking over the lease, and if anything he was looking more confused than Remy.

Sandra spun around and grabbed his hand in both of hers.  "Don't worry! It's waived!  We couldn't possibly ask you to commit to a standard security deposit with such a significant change to the standard rent! It's waived – it's that much easier!  Now isn't that a deal? Doesn't that put you at ease?  Please, read it through – you'll see, this deal's exactly what it seems to be; please ask me about anything, anything, if you have any questions at all."  Leo was melting under her full-force assault, but got all the way through the lease.

"It's… shit, it's exactly what it looks like.  You all can do whatever, I'm definitely signing this."  Leo pulled his pen out of his pocket, leaning over the counter.

"Me too, then," Remy said, crowding him.  "I need a place of my own, too, and this condo is hot."

I stepped up in next to him; I had my own apartment and didn't need to and moving would be a pain and an expense, but this was why I'd come out and suggested this: college life together with college friends, and also I had to keep an eye on Remy if that little minx was going to be sniffing around here hand-delivering other tenants.  "All right, I'm in.  Where do I sign?"

"And if you're in, I'm in, too," Carolína said, nudging in to the high counter so that she wouldn't be reaching out for the lease at arms' length.  "When do we get to move in? I have to pack up, and I don' want to be living out of boxes too long."

"Any time!" Sandra said, clapping.  "This condo's empty – any time after you sign the lease, it's yours, and you can start moving in!  Do you need a truck?  I'll call the head property office – we should be able to comp you up to a medium U-haul, as long as it's in town!  Just let me know when you're ready and I'll set it up!" Carolína signed and dated her signature on the lease, then handed it back, and Sandra bowed deeply over.

"Thank you!  Thank you so much!  I'm so glad!  I'm so glad we could help you!  I just know you'll have a wonderful time here!  Just give me one second – I'll file the lease with the property office, and then come back with your keys, and then you can start moving in whenever you're ready!  Thank you so much!"  Sandra shook hands with each of us again like she was thumping the handle on an old water pump, dragging her fingers over the boys' wrists obviously on purpose again, and then vanished out the front door with a bang as quickly and as completely inexplicably as she had come.

"God damn," Remy said, looking back down the hallway after her with an expression that was 100% Pure Organic Thirst, "I ain't ever smoked, but I think I need a cigarette."

"I need a stiff goddamn drink," I said, more growly than I meant to, but I didn't feel like apologizing.

"I need several drinks," Leo said, shaking his head.  "Do any of you realize what we just signed up for?  We're paying two hundred a month for this place, all inclusive, with no security deposit."

"Two hundred a month?"  Carolína asked, genuinely surprised, like she hadn't read the first page and figured, like I did, that she could afford whatever Leo was willing to pay sight unseen.  "That's cheap – this is almost as much space, much newer, as we have at the house, and that was twelve hundred plus heat.  I'm surprised, that she does a deal for eight."

Leo shook his head again.  "We're not paying two hundred each. We're paying two hundred total. Fifty bucks a month each for a brand new condo.  There's a catch somewhere – there's got to be a catch.  But fifty bucks – it'd have to be a hell of a catch to make that a worse deal than sleeping on cardboard with Riley's boots for an alarm clock."  He shook his head.  He was right – there had to be a catch somewhere.  But with this kind of deal, I didn't have to sublet my old apartment – so that if this place somehow happened to catch on fire like his last one, we'd at least have somewhere to fall back on.

Chapter 3