#leman russ iykyk

[eternaltempest]

Lol oops I didn't really elaborate did I?

I'll start with Ferrus here but go in regular order from there 😆

Ferrus : I felt bad about the circumstances of his death and he's also kind of vanilla so he gets the crying heart of wasted potential and untimely demise 😭😭😭

The Emperor : Ok so like he's pretty hot, but omfg is he literally the most idiotic, stereotypical man in all of history. Might as well be the God Emperor of stupid ass decisions, it's so rage inducing I want to choke him

Lionel : he's pretty too, and I love me a bearded man 😏 but he's a little too quiet to be husband material imo

Fulgrim : same as Lionel but opposite. Would fuck just once ✨ for the experience ✨ but seems too freaky to be a husband. More for y'all Fulgrim stans, getcho freaky on!

Peter Turbo Perturabo : ngl he's a psycho and kinda a dick. Thank you, next.

Jaghatai : He's also pretty hot, I like his bone structure and his hair so I'd bone, but also seems the type to go Tokyo Drifting with his homies and tbh I don't like car guys. No hate tho, mad respect for the need for speed. As Sonic says; gotta go fast 🏎️

Leman Russ : all I gotta say is no lube, no protection, all night, all day, from the kitchen floor to the toilet seat, from the dining table to the bedroom, from the bathroom sink to the shower, from the front porch to the balcony, vertically, horizontally, quadratic, exponent al, logarithmic, while i gasp for air, scream and see the light, missionary, cowgirl, reverse cow girl, doggy, backwards, forwards, sideways, upside down, on the floor, in the bed, on the couch, on a chair, being carried against the wall, outside, in a cerberus, on a flagship, IN A LEMAN RUSS, on a jet bike, the bed of a baneblade, on a trampoline, in a bounce house, in the pool, bent over, in the basement, against the window, have the most vile, sloppy, atrocious, gushy, creamy, devious, scrumptious, amazing, delightful, delectable, unbelievable, magnificent, unique, extraordinary, splendid, phenomenal, bark worthy, cant walk, beastly, toe curling, bACK ARCHING, LEG SHAKING, DICK THROBBING, FIST CLENCHING, EAR RINGING, MOUTH WATERING, ASS CLENCHING, SNOT DRIPPING, EYE WATERING, EYE ROLLING, HIP THRUSTING, EARTH SHAKING, SHEET GRIPPING, KUNCKLE WHITENING, JAW CLENCHING, HAIR PULLING, TEETH CHATTERING, MIND BOGGLING, SOUL SNATCHING, OVERSTIMULATING, OVUM STIMULATING, MOAN INDUCING, HEART WRENCHING, SPINE TINGLING, BACK BREAKING, LIP BITTING, BODY NUMBING, GRAVITY DEFYING, NAIL BITING, SWEATY, FEET KICKING, MIND BLOWING, BODY SHIVERING, ORGASMIC, BONE BREAKING, WORLD ENDING, BLACK HOLE CREATING, UNIVERSE DESTROYING, HEAD NODDING, SOUL EVAPORATING, VOLCANO ERUPTING, SWEAT ROLLING, VOICE CRACKING, TREMBLING, SHEETS SOAKED, HAIR DRENCHED, FLABBERGASTING, LIP LOCKING, SKIN PEELING, EYELASH REMOVING, EYE WIDENING, PUSSY POPPING, NAIL STRACTCHING, BRAIN CELL DESOLVING, HAIR RIPPING, SHOW STOPPING, MOUTH FOAMING, BRO HE COULD PUT A NUCLEAR BOMB INSIDE ME AND I'D STILL RIDE. HE'S NOT GONA BE ABLE TO WALK THE ENTIRE WEEK HE'S GONA BE SO HOARSE HE WONT EVEN BE ABLE TO HOWL OR SCREAM HE'LL NEVER ESCAPE MY GRASP

Dorn : iunno

Curze : I wouldn't touch that baby eating, greasy ass having MF with a 39 and a half foot pole except maybe to cut him down. Creep.

Sanguinius : He's so pretty I want to cry 😭 probably likes to bake and take bubble baths together. I'm not usually into fluff as much but if it's with him I'm willing to do so until we die of old age 🥹

Angron: LET MY BOY GO HE'S INNOCENT HE'S JUST A BABY HE DID NOTHING WRONG HE'S A VICTIM THEY KILLED HIS DOG RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM THOSE MONSTERS THEY'RE PUTTING SMOKE in the form of nails INTO HIS HEAD HE JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED HE JUST NEEDS KISSES LET ME KISS HIM PLE- 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Guilliman : He would be a great husband I am pegging him and bearing his children. I will not elaborate

Mortarion : Ew

Magnus : *Insert 'he did nothing, wrong' joke here* he's pretty and istg they gave him the biggest arms in existence and god DAMN. But god damnit Magnus, you had one un-fuck-up-able job!

And also

Horace : he's got a kissable face but he's bald... And stupid just like his father

Lorgar : His only redeeming feature is his last name. Have y'all ever seen Forged in Fire, when the guy says "Will it keal?" And proceeds to stab a gelatinous dummy mannequin? Lorgar is the gelatinous dummy mannequin. Stupid just like his father x2

Vulkan : THE BEST husband, warmest cuddles, sweetest kisses. He potect, but also atack type shit. But he's a little too big iykwim

Corvus : love me a little Edgar Allan Hoe definitely fucking him into submission but I also Wana pamper him and kiss him and take him shopping to Hot Topic so he can get all his sad emo boi fashion even though he can probably kill me in broad daylight and go undiscovered 🖤

Alpharius/Omegon : Sorry I'm not into mass orgies

...This took me way too long to type

Let's play FMK the Primarchs!!!

Did a fmk w/ all the boys 💖 I'll include a clean copy below in case anyone else wants to add theirs 😁

Also guest appearance by Big E himself He gives me stress ulcers

OG art is from this reddit thread

💋 - fuck

💍 - marry

💀 - kill

The 🤷‍♀️ are because I don't know enough about said primarchs (and ibr I don't wana fmk Shining Twins McGee over there. And Dorn is... Dorn)

{Leman Russ is not escaping my grasp}