#left my og job for a more specific job that could work for OT or Art psychotherapy but had to leave after a month
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#came off my ssri 2 months ago now and man the consequences of my actions still coming for me#i came off them more because it was like well im in a better place to manage myself now haha how time changes#and mostly bc them being tied in my prescription for adhd meds it was impossible to even get citalopram bc my script would get rejected#and i kept running out and having to ration my citalopram so its like fuck it just come off it then#all i wanted was to have emotions back and ever since all I’ve felt is the wide range of misery#i wanted joy and laughter and imagination back and all I’ve got is physical anxiety and misery#it doesnt help that I’ve just had an absolute fuck of a time with work#left my og job for a more specific job that could work for OT or Art psychotherapy but had to leave after a month#then i spent just shy of 3 months on unemployment doing my best to keep my head above water fighting benefits system#all to be in another assistant job feeling like an absolute idiot day to day the team is a huge clique and i don’t know whats going on#i spend all my off time sitting in dread about going back to work#and the worst part is i cant even just go back on citalopram because i cannot put on anymore weight#im bigger than a whale im bigger than a house im so fucking huge I’ve never been this huge and its so hard to lose weight#im in such a miserable headspace all i wanted was to just feel my happiness not being stunted anymore#and i don’t know the last time i felt a sustained amount of joy
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