#led to me to believe that that wasn’t a true friendship | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

arlana-likes-to-write · 2 months ago

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Sugar Rush

Family is More Than Blood Masterlist

Summary: Carol needs advice on how to ask you on a date.

Warning: fluff, some amount of angst, mention of past abuse from the Red Room and Dreykov, Val is a good friend, everyone loves to tease the reader, gay panic

Word Count: 5.3k

Maybe Carol was overthinking it. This wasn’t foreign territory to her. It was easy for her to get a girl into bed with her. Yes, it built her a reputation as a playboy, but no one got hurt. In her eyes, she was entitled to a bit of fun after all the hell she’s been through. But you were different, so Carol needed to be different. Carol found you attractive. She believed anybody was an idiot if they failed to see your physical beauty. However, it was your heart that drew her in.

Her time was between patrolling the stars and helping the Avengers on Earth. Somehow, you were all Yelena talked about when she was at the compound. Since the fall of the Accords, Yelena has painted this picture of you. Her older sister gave herself up to Dreykov, so she and Natasha could be free. Carol was intrigued by you. She wondered how someone who was captured by the darkness so young and for so long was good.

It was easy for you to capture Carol on your web; she knew you had no idea what you were doing. At first, it was the way she caught you staring at her when she got done meeting with Steve. The blush on your cheek was Carol’s new favorite color. Then, it was the way you confronted the Widow after exposing her to the red dust. You opened your arms to her without hesitation. You comforted her and reassured her that it was not her fault.

At the bar, where you thankfully agreed to get a drink, it was your smile as you tried to hide it. The way your eyes lit up when you talked about your sisters. Even when she spoke of her life, you hung on every word she said.

What she told your sisters was true. She wanted to be your friend. If it led to more (which she hopped), then she would be grateful. But it would be on your timeline; she wouldn’t force you to do anything you weren’t comfortable with.

So here she was, on her ship and lost on what to do. You were visiting the compound for a few days, and it linked up to when Carol was coming back to Earth. Your friendship was growing through text messages or short phone calls. Carol wanted to plan something fun to do together. She called Valkyrie for help. Was it wise to call her ex-girlfriend and her first girlfriend since Monica? Unsure, but there weren’t other people she could ask. Besides, she and Val ended things on good terms; they were better off as friends. “Oh captain, my captain,” Val teased when the call connected and her hologram came up. “What do I owe the pleasure?” Carol rolled her eyes.

“Am I interrupting?”

“Oh, you are, but being a king is trying work,” she sighed dramatically. “What do you need? You never call.” She winced and made a mental note to be better at that.

“I need advice.”

“Is this about the Black Widow you fancy?” Val asked.

“I don’t fancy her,” she stood up from her bed and moved around her ship. “Also, who says fancy anymore?” Val laughed. “But yes, it’s about her,” she picked up a toy for Goose and threw it. The flerken ran after it. “I want to plan something but don’t know what to do.” Val hummed.

“Is the endgame to sleep with her?” Carol slapped her hand against her forehead. “What?” Val asked while laughing. “It’s a valid question, and depending on the answer, I could give different options,” Carol sighed, picked up the toy Goose brought back, and threw it again.

“Yes,” she admitted. “But not right away. She’s special, Val, and I don’t want to fuck this up like I normally do. If I do, I will have two very pissed-off Black Widows after me,” Carol paused. “3 if her mother decides to join in on the hunt,” Val laughed so hard, she almost fell out of her chair. The sound made Carol smile. Val was a pain in her ass sometimes, but she was grateful for her.

“Goodness, I forgot how funny you are.” Carol wasn’t sure if that was a compliment, so she kept her comments to herself. “So we want friendship to possible lovers’ date ideas, right?”

“Yes,” Carol sighed, shaking her head. She was starting to regret asking Val.

“And she’s the one who gave herself up for her sisters,” Carol hummed. “Heroic,” Val was silent beside the click of her pen, and she leaned back in her chair. So Carol kept throwing the toy for Goose. “Take her to an arcade.”

“An arcade?” Carol questioned, froze mid-throw, and looked at Val’s hologram. The flerken yelled at her, so she threw it at him. Val was leaning on her desk with her hands crossed.

“Yeah, she’s probably never been to one. You guys can be all cute and competitive; then you can woo her by winning her a prize.”

“I hate you,” Carol deadpanned, but it wasn’t a bad idea.

“No, you don’t, or you wouldn’t have called me,” she had a point. “Let me know how it goes.”

“Thanks, Val,” Carol smiled. “I’ll come visit soon.”

“Bring the new boo thang,” Carol hung up before Val could say anything. Sighing, she sat down in her chair with her hands over her eyes. She felt a little silly, acting like a teenager with a crush. But she was nervous and a little anxious, and these were feelings she wasn’t used to. Goose ran over and jumped on her lap, rubbing his head against her hand to get the captain to pet him. Carol smiled.

“Maybe I should take you with me. She does want to meet you,” the flerken meowed. “Do you promise not to eat any of them?” Immediately, Goose jumped off her lap. “That does not provide me with any confidence.”

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

“Hey stranger,” you turned around from your spot in the kitchen to see Carol. While you were in Russia, you missed your sisters. You missed spending time with Wanda, but you missed Carol the most. These feelings were something you were still trying to understand. While apart, your friendship was forged over text messages and phone calls. You worried your friendship wasn’t going to work in person.

“Did you bring him?” You asked. Carol shook her head but chuckled at your frown.

“Stark doesn’t like Goose,” she said and took half of the sandwich you made. You could give two fucks about Stark’s feelings. You wanted to meet the cat or Flerken or whatever. “Goose tried to eat him last time.”

“Good,” you shrugged. “He probably deserved it.” Carol laughed and took a bite. “Is it good?” The captain nodded with a smile. You rolled your eyes and took a bite of your half. She was right. It was good. Another thing about the compound is that your food was never safe.

“Do you have plans for tonight?” Usually, you would spend it with whoever wanted to watch a movie or play video games.

“Nope,” you said. “Do you want to do something?” You watched her smile grow, and you enjoyed it.

This is the first time you’ve done this. You only looked at someone and enjoyed their mannerisms by analyzing every detail for a mission. Slowly, you were unlearning those behaviors while leaving with the Avengers. Wanda liked tea before she went to bed. Steve always had a sketchbook next to him. When Yelena was nervous or anxious, she played with the rings on her fingers.

You liked learning about Carol. When she was reading over a mission report, she was spinning a pen between her fingers. Her eyes would light up when she was asked about Monica or Goose because she loved them both. She was playful, snarky, and wasn’t afraid to tease your sisters or Tony. “Do you want to go somewhere with me?” She asked.

“Do I get to know where we are going?” you countered. Carol shook her head. “It sounds like you are kidnapping me,” the captain smirked.

“Do you think I could kidnap you and get away with it?” You shrugged. It would be a challenge, but it would be fun. Besides, she could not get very far. Carol laughed.

“Do you trust me?” It went against your training to trust anyone, but you wanted to trust her.

“Yes,” you answered.

“Good, wear something casual, and I’ll pick you up at 5,” she winked at you, leaving you alone in the kitchen. You shook your head with a smile and ignored the way her playful gesture filled your stomach with butterflies. Instead of focusing on the upcoming hang-out with Carol, you began to clean the kitchen. It was a simple task that kept your mind busy and present. You were so distracted that you didn’t realize someone else entered the kitchen.

“Why are you cleaning?” You jumped at the sound of Wanda’s voice. “I am going to brag for years that I was able to sneak up on you,” you rolled your eyes at the witch and splashed water at her before drying your hand. “That was uncalled for.”

“Are you hungry? I can make you something quick,” you said, ignoring her question by opening the fridge and pretending to look through it. But you felt her eyes on your back. “Stop that,” you said.

“Then answer my question,” you sighed and closed the fridge. Wanda sat on a chair, and you leaned against the counter. Thankfully, Wanda gave you time to collect your thoughts. It seemed wild that these people cared about you when you hadn’t been in the compound for long. It was a feeling you were getting used to. You’ve been on your own for so many years. Sighing, you twisted the ring your sisters gave you for your birthday.

“Carol asked if I wanted to hang out tonight, and I said yes,” you said slowly.

“You guys hand out all the time,” Wanda said with a slight tilt of her head. That was true. If you weren’t with Wanda or your sisters, you were with Carol.

“Her asking me felt different,” you told her. “I think she asked me on a date.” A smile grew on the witch’s face.

“Finally!” She threw her arms in the air. “I’ve been so tired of listening to her thoughts whenever you guys are in the same room.” You felt your body heat up.

“She thinks about me?” You questioned.

“All the time,” she answered honestly. “Some thoughts aren’t very PG,” you groaned and snapped a towel at her. Wanda laughed and took your weapon of choice. “I will be fine,” she said. “Besides, she is in your mind just as much, if not more.” You flipped Wanda off as she took an orange from the fruit bowl and left.

You tried to keep your thoughts at bay around Wanda. Yelena told you the story of how they met the witch. You trusted her, especially since your sisters did, but your mind was filled with so much bloodshed you caused that you did not want to subject her to that. Of course, she was right. Carol always seemed to be on your mind. Maybe it wasn’t a bad thing after all.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

“An arcade?” you questioned and looked at Carol. You stood at the entrance, amazed by the sounds and lights.

“Yeah, I thought it would be fun and a little competitive.” Carol walked over to the counter and bought two game cards from the high schooler. You were busy looking at the lights flashing and the sounds of the games. “Is this okay?” she asked and handed you a card that looked like an ID.

“I’ve never been to one,” you followed her to where the prizes were. They had candy, stuffed animals, and fidget toys. Above everything else were the more expensive prizes like game consoles and household products. You weren’t sure what a kid would do with an air fryer. “There was one in the mall in Ohio, but I wasn’t allowed to go in.” You were so jealous of the kids that were running around being kids.

“Is this okay?” Her question snapped you of your thoughts. She looked concerned.

“I’m gonna kick your ass in that shooting game I saw.”

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

You won the shooting game, but she got more tickets than you. Combined, you had enough for a small teddy bear that she gave to you, and after the arcade, she took you to dinner for food. You had a great time. Not that you feared you wouldn’t, but this felt different. You weren’t afraid to hide your glances at her as you watched her concentrate on the silly games. She was adorable, and the smile on your face hurt your cheeks.

“Hey,” Carol’s gentle voice pulled you out of sleep. “We are back at the compound.” You opened your eyes and blinked away the sleep.

“Shit, sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” you rubbed your eyes and Carol smiled.

“It’s fine,” she said and turned off the car. You looked cute.” It was reflexes when you punched her arm softly, but you felt your body heat up at the compliment. Her laughter followed you as you exited the car with her teddy bear in hand. Out of the car, you heard the weather—the pounding of the rain against the walls. There was the distinct sound of thunder.

“It’s raining,” you said.

“Yup,” Carol closed the door of the car. “We seemed to have followed the storm.” A smile grew on your face. “Why are you smiling?” You loved the rain. You loved laying in bed and listening to the weather back in Ohio. Sooner rather than later, Yelena would end up in your but that moment of peace you cherished. Without answering, you placed your prize on the car’s roof and walked to the garage door. The hum of the garage opener filled the silence. Then, the smell of petrichor filled your lungs. “What are you doing?”

You glanced over your shoulder with a mile and walked up the driveway. Immediately, the rain soaked your clothes. A gasp left your lips as the temperature of the rain startled you. Soon, your body got used to the cold. “You are going to get sick,” Carol said with a smile and crossed arms.

“I can’t get sick,” it was a half-truth. It was more challenging for you to get sick. “You can come keep me warm,” you smirked. You held your breath as you watched Carol think it over. Maybe you were being too forward. Perhaps all she wanted was to be friends. The captain shook her head. With a smile, she ran up the ramp and into you. You laughed as you wrapped your arms around her neck, and she spun you in a circle. Carol placed you on the ground. Your laughter died down, and you stared at her lips.

You couldn’t remember your first kiss. It was before Ohio, you thought - a short kiss between you and another Window. As you got older, kissing was used as a tool. You would make out with a target and slip a sedative in their drink. Now you wanted to kiss someone and have it mean something. That scared you. Would kissing her change what you already had? You would rather stay friends than ruin it.

“Tag your it,” you said, tagged the Avenger, and ran off. Running seemed like the more straightforward thing to do.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

Carol sighed and stepped out of the bathroom. Her hair was still wet from the shower, but she had time to dry and style it. Her phone rang when she changed into gray pants and a white sports bra. “Hey Val,” she said, placing the phone on speaker. “I find it rude that you aren’t at this party.” Val laughed.

“Maybe Stark shouldn’t plan something so last minute,” Val had a point. “Turn on your camera. Let me see what you are wearing.” Carol rolled her eyes and placed her phone against the lamp to turn on the camera. She was finishing buttoning her white shirt when her friend’s face appeared on the phone. “I like the gray suit,” she wiggled her eyebrows. “Is she going to be there?”

“Not sure,” Carol stood in the bathroom to dry her hair and brushed it out. “She’s returning from a mission. Nat isn’t sure if she’ll be back.”

“But you are still trying to look hot,” Carol shrugged.

“Always good to be prepared,” she returned to the closest to put on her gray vest. It was more than just looking good. She felt confident in this suit. After the almost kiss in the raid, she needed all the confidence she could get.

“What’s wrong?” Val asked. “If you keep frowning like that, you will get more wrinkles.” The captain flipped her friend off. “So what’s the matter?” Carol sighed.

“We almost kissed last week, and we haven’t hung out since then,” she told her. “I don’t want to force her into something she isn’t ready for. I’d rather be friends than lose her.” Val was watching her closely.

“You aren’t forcing her, Carol,” she said. “If she did not like you, she wouldn’t hang out with you. " That was true, but Carol was worried. She is her own person.” You were, and Carol was lucky to see glimpses of the person you were becoming. “Goodness, you have it bad for her.”

“Shut up,” Carol mumbled, but she did not deny it. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Let me know how it goes!” Carol waved and ended the call. She had it bad for you, and it was so worth it.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

“There she is!” Yelena cheered. Carol watched the blonde run over to you. Something short-circuited in Carol’s brain. It wasn’t her proudest moment; the way her jaw dropped, a bit of her drink fell down her chin.

“Damn, you got it bad, Danvers,” Steve laughed and handed her a napkin. Carol snatched it out of his hand.

“Language, soldier,” but he wasn’t wrong. It was hard not to look at you. She saw the politicians glance your way. The red dress highlighted your figure with a thigh slight and spaghetti straps. She could tell you were wearing little makeup, but you never needed it, in her opinion. Steve chuckled.

“Maybe you should tell her how you feel,” he said. “You never know what could happen”. Carol looked at Steve and then back at you. Natasha and Maria joined the small group around you. You caught her looking, and you waved. She raised her glass to you with a smile. It was embarrassing how often she thought about kissing you or holding you in her arms. But she promised your sisters and herself she would take it slow and not force you.

“Yeah,” she whispered. “Maybe you’re right.”

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

God, you hated parties with politicians. The dress wasn’t helping your situation, but when Sonya discovered your slight crush on Carol, she suggested the red dress. It was working. Her eyes were on you as soon as you arrived, but she hadn’t moved toward you. You sat at the table with your back to the wall, nursing a rum and coke. Yelena was with Sam and Wanda. Natasha was talking with some politicians whose names you couldn’t remember. You weren’t worried. She could handle herself around men like this. Men who valued power over personal values. It was hard to find a good politician these days. Maria and Steve were with her.

Honestly, you were so exhausted - mind, body, and soul - which wasn’t helping your mood. The past three days were late nights chasing down Widows, exposing them to the red dust, and then helping them settle. All you wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep for a week, but luck was not on your side. Tony was having a party with a few politicians. You could have gone back to Russia, but it was packed with Widows, and you would get no rest with Alexei being annoying. So, the compound was the best option. Even though Yelena wanted to see you at the party. “Well, well, well,” a man said, walking over to you. He was drinking an old fashion. “Mind if I join you?”

“It’s all yours, sir. " He smiled and took the empty seat. I don’t believe we’ve been introduced.”

“David Palmer,” he extended his hand for you to shake. Before you could introduce yourself, he cut you off. “I know who you are,” you said, keeping your smile on your face and tapping into your training. To everyone here, you were a businesswoman from Boston. The fewer people who knew you were with the Avengers, the better.

“Who am I, Mr. Palmer?” You asked and sipped on your drink. You saw Carol looking at you over the man’s shoulder.

“You are Dreykov’s spider,” he whispered as if he were telling you a secret. You felt the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, but you kept on smiling. It was only a matter of time before you ran into someone who knew your past. You wished it wasn’t happening here. You circled the liquid in your glass and leaned back in the chair with your right leg crossed over your left. His eyes trailed up and down your body.

“If I am who you think I am,” you said. “What will you do with that information, Mr. Palmer?” He sipped on his drink and looked around the party.

“Do they know?” He questioned. “Do they know everything you did for him?” Natasha and Yelena knew a fraction of what occurred between you and Dreykov. But you wanted to keep that a secret for the others, especially Carol. “I’m guessing they don’t because you are among the heroes here.”

“What do you want, Palmer?” You asked. You were done with being nice. He wanted something. It was the only reason he was here. David placed a hand on your thigh. You fought your instincts not to break every one of his fingers. You hated the way his hand felt on you.

“Just one night with you,” he said. “Or I won’t go to the press. No one will know that the Avengers are harboring a killer.” His hands squeezed the flesh of your thigh. “You can imagine how bad that would look for them.”

They would lose their credibility with the public. Everything would be questioned. As for you, well, you could not care. You had to protect them, but you hated the idea of sleeping around to keep a secret. “Thank you, Mr. Palmer, but I’d have to decline your very generous offer.” You removed his hand and stood up. Before you could walk away, he grabbed your hand and pulled you back, flesh to his chest.

“Do you think you are better than us, slut?” He asked. You’ve dealt with men like this before. Men that weren’t used to hearing no. “You are a nobody without the men that made you. So get on your knees and start serving me.”

Before you reconnected with your sisters, you would have done it. You would have gotten on your knees and pleased him because that was how you were trained. You were different now. Your life was different, and you hated the way this man touched you. You twisted out of his hold and grabbed a pressure point on his wrist. The man crumbled to his knees. The irony. “It’s not nice to grab someone if they don’t want to be touched.” You felt the eyes of everyone at the party. You were causing a scene.

You quickly turned around, put your half-finished drink on the bar, and walked to the stairs to the roof. Even with the Red Room gone, that place was still haunting you.

You liked the way the cold weather felt on her arms. It was like a gentle embrace, a crisp and refreshing touch that awakened your senses. The air’s chill contrasted with your skin’s warmth, creating a delightful shiver. There was a sense of tranquility in the coolness, a quiet calm that settled over everything. Each breath you took felt clearer and purer. “What did he say to you?” Carol asked, walking up behind you.

“Nothing, I haven’t heard before,” you answered, not looking at her. Even when she stood next to you.

“You can tell me if it would make you feel better.” You shook your head.

“I don’t want you to look at me differently,” you admitted. She was quiet as you both stared into the vast darkness.

“I could never,” you glanced at her, and she looked at you. “Do you need a hug?” she asked. You nodded, and she was quick to pull you into a hug. Her warmth was intoxicating. Your body relaxed, and muscles loosened as if you had shredded a heavyweight. Her hug felt safe, a sanctuary where you could feel relaxed and at ease. “I almost punched him,” she broke the beat of silence that passed between you and her.

“Better you than me. He’s a slimy piece of shit,” her chest vibrated as she laughed.

“Oh, I know. I hated how he looked at you,” so did you. It was like you were a piece of meat to him. Then again, it wasn’t a look you were unfamiliar with. You pulled out of the hug to look at her better. “You do look stunning in this dress, by the way,” you smiled and fixed her tie and gray vest that you had messed up from the hug.

“You don’t look half bad yourself, Captain.” You liked the way her cheeks blushed. “I wore this for you, by the way,” you walked away, fingers running across the metal railing. You felt her eyes on your back.

“Wait, wait,” she jogged to catch up. “What did you mean by that?” You shrugged as she gently grabbed your wrist but immediately let go of you. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have grabbed you.” You frowned at her statement. You offered her your hand, and she took it. “Why did you wear this dress for me?” She asked. You concentrated on the way your hand felt against hers. Her hand was rough but warm. It showed years of hard work.

“I wanted you to notice me,” you whispered.

“Notice you?” Carol questioned. “I am always noticing you. I can’t keep my eyes off of you,” a small squeak left the back of your throat. Carol smiled. “Do you want to go on a date?”

“Like a date-date?” You questioned. “Not as friends, but maybe as something more.”

“Do you want to be something more?” The question stumped you. But Carol was patient and played with the ring your sisters gave you on your finger. Did you want more? Did you want to go on dates? To fall asleep in her arms? To wake up to the feeling of her lifts on your skin? The idea terrified you. Before Carol, you ‘dated’ two other people. One was a girl in your class in Ohio. You both were too young to understand what it meant. The second person was a Red Room guard who trusted the man’s loyalty. He failed, so he was killed. There was a brief moment when you thought you were in love with the Winter Solider, but Carol could be different.

She would be someone without the influence of the Red Room, someone who understood a life of fighting, someone who could like you and look based on the scars on your body and the blood on your hands. “Yes,” you finally said. “But I’m not sure if I’ll be good at this,” Carol smiled and hugged you again. Immediately, you slummed into her warmth.

“I’m in the same boat,” she chuckled. “We can learn together.” Her lips briefly touched your forehead. The spot tingled, and it made you smile.

⋆˖⁺‧₊☽◯☾₊‧⁺˖⋆

Your eyes closed as soon as your back hit your bed. Carol walked you to your room, kissed you on the cheek, and wished you a good night. You were frozen to the spot for a split second, and touched your cheek. Finally, you entered your room, showered, changed, and flopped onto the bed. The exhaustion of the past few days was catching up to you. But your eyes were forced open when there was rapid knocking on your door. “Come in,” you called out. The door opened. Suddenly, a body jumped on you, and blonde hair covered your vision. You groaned. “Get your fat ass off of me,” you pushed your sister off, and she fell onto the floor with a grunt.

“First of all, I am not fat,” she stood up. “Second, you are just jealous of this ass.” You rolled your eyes, and she sat next to you. “We wanted to make sure you are okay.” You pushed yourself up to your elbows and saw Natasha. Your sisters were changed and freshly showered.

“Stark threw that jackass out, and Maria is working on getting him removed from office,” it was a start, and you were grateful they were taking it seriously. But you knew it was only a matter of time before another dirty politician took his place.

“I’m okay,” you told your sisters. You watched Natasha close the door and sit down next to you. “What he said to me is stuff I’ll always hear.” You were numb to all of it. You’ve been called a monster, a slut, a killer. Everything from A to Z was thrown at you. It was something you were used to.

“I thought Carol was going to kill him,” Yelena said. “Steve had to stop her.” The mention of Carol made you smile, biting your lip, which Natasha noticed.

“What happened on the roof?” You shrugged, but the smile gave you away. Natasha nudged your shoulder with hers. “Come on, tell us.”

“She asked me on a date,” you said slowly. “And I said yes.”

“You said yes?” Yelena questioned. You nodded. There was silence before Yelena squealed and put her arms around you. She shook you from side to side.

“You and Natasha could go on double dates,” Honestly, that was the last thing you wanted to do. You pushed Yelena to the floor again. “Stop doing that!” You laughed and looked at the redhead. You weren’t sure why you looked for Natasha’s approval.

“I’m so happy for you,” she squished your cheeks. “Look at you dating. I love seeing you all happy,” you pushed her hands away and glared at her. That was payback for your teasing with Maria.

“I hate you,” you deadpanned. Natasha smiled. She stood up and moved to the top of your bed. “What are you doing?” You asked.

“You need sleep,” she answered. “Melina said it had been a long few days.”

“Alright, Mom,” you crawled up to the headboard. “Are you going to tuck me in?” She flicked your forehead. “Fuck off!” You said and rubbed the spot she flicked.

“Move over,” Yelena said, pushing you to the bed’s edge.

“I’m gonna need some room, too,” Natasha added. Yelena pushed closer to you, and Natasha laid down next to her. “You need a bigger bed.”

“I wasn’t expecting sleepovers all the time,” you said, closing your eyes and slowly falling asleep to the steady beat of Yelena’s heart. Then you felt Natasha’s hand on your shoulder. You opened your eyes to see Natasha looking at you.

“I hope you know we don’t think you are any of those things that man called you,” she whispered. “No one here does.” You forced a smile.

“Thank you, Nat,” you whispered. “Now go to sleep,” she chuckled, and you closed your eyes. It did not matter what they thought of you. You knew who you were. You knew you were a killer. The blood on your hands runs deep. No matter how often you tried washing your hands, the blood remained.

#carol danvers x reader #carol danvers x you #family is more than blood au #carol danvers x y/n #black widow sisters #yelena belova x natasha romanoff x reader

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bucksdaffy · 6 months ago

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okay, so i've seen some people claim that tim minear is an avid buddie shipper and that he's slowly but surely laying the groundwork for buck and eddie to become canon in the future and...

i'm just thoroughly confused about this assertion.

i'll preface this by saying i'm very new to the fandom, so i'm prepared to be wrong about this. i'm aware i may lack crucial context because i've been here only so long. also, i don't know tim personally, so i obviously can't speak to his true intentions, but i'll make my case anyway.

i'll cite two RECENT comments by tim that i assume people might draw this conclusion from:

[?: There is a sect of the fandom that just wants 9-1-1 to be the Buck and Eddie show, and any cut that removes a second of them is going to get the same reaction. Nothing short of renaming the show "Christopher's Two Dads" is going to make them happy.] T: I totally get that. I even appreciate it. Which explains the entire first act of last night's episode. I kind of did for the Buck/Eddie fans (I mean I really do it for myself in the end). I just thought... they'd like it? Shrug. I liked it, so whatever.

Minear tells Rolling Stone that he hasn’t just been aware of fan reactions, he’s actually changed storylines in the past to avoid being accused of queerbaiting. But rather than help, he says it made the show worse. “Nobody wants to be accused of queerbaiting so I kind of stopped writing those characters together. And I think it hurt the show because I was so afraid to be accused of something that I wasn’t going where I would naturally go with the stories,” Minear says. “I just decided that I just have to write the thing that I think is right. I just have to be honest with the story I’m telling and let the chips fall where they may.”

now, i may be biased, but this doesn't read to me like he plans on buddie endgame at all.

while it's clear he loves the bond between buck and eddie and enjoys highlighting it in the show, saying he totally wants them to end up together feels like a reach.

he discusses being accused of queerbaiting in the past, which led him to backtrack a little and stop writing buck and eddie together. how does this suggest he did it because he wants buddie to become canon? if that were his intention he could have continued to drop more (apparent!) hints that buck and eddie may love each other in a non-platonic way. he wouldn't care about the accusations of queerbaiting so much, because he would be planning to make them canon all along. sure, there are external constraints that could prevent this from ever materializing, but that doesn't mean he couldn't write the dialogue in a clearly ambiguous way so that once he gets a pass and everyone else involved is on board with it, he could confirm that "yeah, you were right; it was a good ol' friends-to-lovers slow burn trope all along. congrats!!" no. instead he backtracked because he didn't want anyone to think he was writing buddie as anything other than a platonic relationship. that's it. but he eventually realized it doesn't really matter because people are going to think what they want to think regardless. and he obviously loves buck and eddie's friendship so he might as well just make the most out of it at this point. and if he ever feels like maybe it is a good time to turn their friendship into something more because it feels right for story, he'll go for it. but if not, he won't.

i see a lot of people claim buddie is a six-season-long slow burn, being carefully crafted right now for future canonization. and they say tim basically confirmed this. but i really can't see his comments being a confirmation of the sort.

if there are any quotes i'm missing that suggest otherwise, i would love to go through them. so if anyone's aware of any, please don't hesitate to hit me up.

but at the moment i believe y'all are just setting yourselves up for disappointment.

#i'm half asleep writing this #i don't even know if this makes sense #anyway #i'm open to discussion #if anyone has any thoughts on this i'll happily read through them #bucktommy #not tagging the other ship for reasons #evan buckley #tim minear #daffy quacks

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anonymouschishiyaimaginesandmore · 1 year ago

Text

BestFriend!Chishiya

Minors, do not read! Contains mentions of smutty behavior!

MASTERLIST (up-to-date)

This is Part 3 !!HERE!! is Part 1 !!HERE!! is Part 2 !!HERE!! is Part 4

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Alice in Borderland/Imawa no Kuni no Alice characters or original stories, only the plot of this fanfic. Alice in Borderland/Imawa no Kuni no Alice characters and original storyline belong to Haro Aso, who made the Manga the Series is based on.

Trigger Warning: Explicit Smut in later Parts, both Characters are Teens, Slight Toxic Behavior, Complicated Consensual/Not-Consensual Behavior Summery: Chishiya x Female Reader

BestFriend!Chishiya reads your texts. Excuses, he thinks. He sees right thru you. Instead of calling you out on your lie, he writes back, typing fast, but taking a moment before sending. After all, you shouldn’t know how long he waited, thinking that he might has taken a step too far too soon with you.

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: No probs

BestFriend!Chishiya writes his message as casual as possible. You on the other hand feel encouraged thru the distance to speak your mind. Or at least clearer than before.

YOU: Do you feel different since then?

BestFriend!Chishiya smiles at your question and how fast you come back to the topic, you literally ran away from. It only confirms his assumption that he still lingers in your mind, even after you left his home and with that, him. Too bad, he thought back then. He wasn’t done with you for the day, but your shy manner to this topic and the fact that you are pretty much new to all of that, lets him forgive you. After all, a mouse will always run away from a cat, when backed into a corner. Or at least try.

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Not much BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: You?

You are surprised how fast you type your answer and how honest you allow yourself to be, knowing he is on the other line, reading every word. But not having to look him straight at his handsome and sometimes intimidating features, gives you the freedom to breach the case, without looking for the next exit. How brave you are. Society should really give medals to people like you, for finding courage in situations like this. Seriously!

YOU: Yes YOU: A lot YOU: I feel like something changed, but I can’t say what and I feel a little bit crazy, because you don’t YOU: I know it’s not right, cause that’s how you feel and I am in no way entitled to something, but I can’t stop thinking this way

It takes BestFriend!Chishiya a while to reply and you realize how hard your fingers tremble, when you almost can’t read your own words on the blue display. It doesn’t help. If at all, it only makes you feel worse. Nerves stretched and about to rip, your screen shakes rhythmic to the beat of your heart. How pathetic you must look. It makes you roll your eyes at your own behavior.

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Sorry I guess BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: I do feel bad that my actions have led to you feeling that way

Lie

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: And I feel even worse that you thought you couldn’t communicate this with me

Another Lie.

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: I guess I was selfish after all, to ask something like that. It was just curiosity that got the best of me, and I thought I was right to ask this of you, after your agreement.

This is half true.

BestFriend!Chishiya knows he acted selfish, but he does believes that what he made you do was also in your best interest. It was out of question, that at one point in your friendship, you would become aware of the males surrounding you and whatever your eyes lay first on other man or on him, would change the way your relationship would go on or die off, because BestFriend!Chishiya isn’t the kind of person who shares people he holds close. Never has and never will be. No, he is truly selfish, so if some other guy would catch your attention first, he was confident the jealousy inside of him would make him cut you off, just so he wouldn’t have to deal with that piece of scum next to you. That attention seeker. A pollution to the world on two legs, he knows that already. By approaching you first and with that also the topic, with doing what he did, he redirected your path towards him.

You now grew aware of the man around. Your eyes definitely set on him first, what was half the win, and your mind now does too. So, in some way, to keep your friendship and with that, you, he had no other choice. Things do make sense from his perspective and if you were just as smart as him, BestFriend!Chishiya was sure you would agree, but thankfully you aren’t because BestFriend!Chishiya likes to be the smartest in the room. He likes how he could make you do things, stupid things, embarrassing things, because someone smart wouldn’t do that. Someone smart would try to compete with him, what was in some way, kind of interesting, but BestFriend!Chishiya felt himself always getting bored fast when it became evident, the other person couldn’t keep up with him, so he likes how simple you were. Simple, not stupid.

Stupid people tend to get angry when they realize how much smarter BestFriend!Chishiya is and how he likes to let his ego show and flaunt that genius of him. Arrogance was something, other people very obviously disliked on him, but you don’t. Never did. You except it and even went along with him all the times he rubbed it under your nose. Something simple people do, but smart ones would never be able to. He wants to keep you for that and so, after recognizing your change, had to adapt to it. And so he did.

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: The effect, thought it was entertaining for me, obviously wasn’t as much for you, but I didn’t bring it up, though I saw how you had to work with yourself and again, I’m sorry for that

That is, in some way, true again. BestFriend!Chishiya did enjoy how worked up you got all by yourself and now he feels a little bit bad. Tho not enough to change anything, if he could.

YOU: Its ok YOU: I guess YOU: It’s just as much my fault like it is yours. I will be honest with you, cause you deserve it for being with me. I won’t lie and say I didn’t like what you did YOU: But I know it won’t change anything you feel so if it makes you uncomfortable, I will stop talking about it YOU: Nevertheless I also ask of you to stop teasing me with it if that’s the case, cause, in some way, I guess it brings my hopes up, there is something more YOU: Could be something more YOU: Yet… YOU: I did like it, I guess YOU: Tho it scared me too YOU: Wanting to see more YOU: Of you YOU: Again YOU: Sorry if that’s weird YOU: Could you just say something YOU: I don’t know where we are standing right now YOU: Chishiya? YOU: ??? YOU: Please say something YOU: I’m sorry okay, I will stop talking and asking about it YOU: Just say something YOU: I’m so afraid now, that I have destroyed our friendship YOU: Chishiya please, say something YOU: Anything YOU: PLEASE!!!

You are on the verge of tears and BestFriend!Chishiya has probably no idea. Or he doesn’t care. You don’t know. This whole thing is uncharted territory for you, and you feel so overwhelmed and left alone to deal with it all by yourself.

YOU: Chishiya please YOU: Say something YOU: Don’t ignore me YOU: I don’t know what to do

Fingers type so fast and still. It was more than 10 Minutes ago that BestFriend!Chishiya wrote you last. Sobs form in your throat, right next to that big knot that, for now, keeps you from crying out loud or making any other sounds. The final Bing sound catches you off guard and you look at your screen only for a blurred picture to appear. The security options of your phone needs you to agree with a tap on the picture that you wanted to download and see it. This way, unnecessary dick picturesof strangers and unknown numbers wouldn’t and couldn’t infiltrate your storage. You tap on the picture, curiosity almost completely drowning out the despair you felt moments ago.

And there it was, IS, the reason for your security settings, popping up right in front of you. A dick pic.

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Sorry it took me so long to reply. It’s impossible to write and get hard at the same time BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: But here it is BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: My answer BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Hope you like it, because it’s all for you BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Wasn’t that easy to get it up without help BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: I imagined your hand jerking me off instead of mine BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Wish I asked you to do it back then BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: We could have had so much fun BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: And all those headaches and worries would have never happened BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: However BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Let’s forget that, cause here it is BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: All standing up proud for you BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Damn, I’m leaking all over the bed, hope you don’t mind the mess BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Next time, the mess could be all over you, if you like BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Wanna try that out?

Another picture announces itself and you tap on it, again, this time with shaky hands, missing the file 2 times. Your breath is going so fast, if you don’t calm down the next few minutes, passing out is a logic high possibility to happen. You look at the now unblurred photo and stop breathing completely. Without any doubt. You didn’t misjudged the first pictures content and the second one proofed it only again. This was, without any doubt, intended. It is BestFriend!Chishiya cock. Again! On this occasion, his fingers are wrapped around it, seemingly stroking himself and a milky white goo spread from the tip down, covering parts of the stiff flesh.

You glance at the clock, sighing as your now fully awake eyes make out the time. It’s too late, your parents wouldn’t let you out of the house and you aren’t fully sure if you really should even follow your first instinct and get to BestFriend!Chishiya house as fast as possible, but you still write back, needing to correct your answer since you misspelled every second word, because of your twitching fingers and your body flooding with oxygen, all due to your lungs inhaling and exhaling at a record speed.

YOU: I want to YOU: I believe YOU: Yes I do YOU: I guess

You add the last message hesitantly, since your fingers type faster than your mind embraces the meaning of his words. BestFriend!Chishiya on the other hand, smirks satisfied. Of course, you do. After that little confession of yours, your answer was so predictable. And he likes it.

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: I want that too BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Want to cum on you BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Where would you let me if I was with you right now BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Do you wish to be with me too?

YOU: I do YOU: To be honest I wanted to go over, but my parents would say no

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: It’s better that way BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Too dangerous for you out there at night BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Just imagine what could happen to you BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: What I could do to you BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: If you were out right now BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Mhmm…my mind is going crazy

You rub your thighs at each other, creating the least bit of friction, hearing his voice in your mind, low and rough while reading every message. You have never touched yourself, never tried to, never thought about it. The tingling between your legs and the way your stomach tenses at every oh so filthy word. It is new but somehow welcome. However, you don’t know how to deal with it. Should you tell BestFriend!Chishiya?

YOU: Mine too YOU: I feel weird YOU: In a good way, I think YOU: But I don’t know how to handle it

Gosh you sound so much like a virgin, but you can’t help it. It’s not a lie tho. You are. And all of the things BestFriend!Chishiya creates in you, arose with his words and pictures. You feel dirty but also good, like that’s exactly how things should be. A small voice in your mind warns you to be careful. Things proceed way too fast. Get out of hand. To paddle back before you do something stupid. But the want in you, the need that wets your underwear, his name on the verge of your lips. It drows out all the logic thinking and with that also all the red flags. You feel particularly bold asking the next question.

YOU: Maybe another pic could help me with that

BestFriend!Chishiya laughs out loud. Thankfully he is alone at home. The only benefit of uncaring parents. His father is on some gala somewhere. BestFriend!Chishiya doesn’t care about him. But he does care if anyone can witness the grunts leaving his throat while he pumps his meat at a steady pace. Up and down. Again, and again. In a rhythmic circling round motion. It feels so good. Better, knowing you are actually on the other line, awake, encouraging him with the content of your messages, just like he does with his. Especially with the photos. The flash of a camera lights up the room for a moment, before he sends the picture to you, and you open it with furious want, chest heaving and audibly filled with excitement.

It is BestFriend!Chishiya erection on full display. This time his hand was open in the picture, palm up, showing the sticky mess on it proudly, followed by a message of him.

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: You didn’t answer my question from before

YOU: Which one? YOU: Another one please?

And BestFriend!Chishiya follows your begging. In the picture, he fumbles with his balls, presenting them to you, while the angry red tip leaks more and more precum over his fist.

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Where you want me to cum BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: On your stomach? BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Your thighs? BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Or maybe on your chest? BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Your breasts were so smooth and soft BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: You moaned when I touched them BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Then again, so was your ass BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: You yelped so nice, when I gave it a little slap BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Did you like it? BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Your ass did BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: That cheek was all red BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: So angry BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: I could see my handprint on it

YOU: You can do it wherever you want

This is such a dirty invitation from you. Weren’t you so pure and innocent just days ago and now you tell your best friend to ejaculate on your body wherever he pleases. That was so wrong, but the thought of it sounds all nice in your head and it excites you to see it. Feel it. To have BestFriend!Chishiya touch you more with his hand. Places even he hasn’t had his fingers yet.

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Damn, how nice of you BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Shit, my load isn’t big enough for your whole body BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: But I’m sure I will find a place just right for the first one BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: And if you ask me nicely BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Like really nicely BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: I may can offer a second one

Your mind is blown away of how talkative your usually so laconic friend is. Only using more when BestFriend!Chishiya lectures you about your wrong grammar and missing algebra knowledge. His chatty behavior lights something inside of you and you just have to ask, afraid it could destroy the good mood. But you have to know it.

YOU: Chishiya YOU: May I ask something…off topic?

BestFriend!Chishiya is a little disappointed from the turn of events, but it isn’t like he has the monopoly on this situation, so of course he agrees, slightly unnerved and frustrated, his hand working his best part slower, so his mind has more blood to think straight.

YOU: Did you lie to me?

That throws BestFriend!Chishiya off. Yes, of course he did, but what part of his behavior makes you think this way?

YOU: About what changed for you?

BestFriend!Chishiya sighs, relieved that’s what you ask about, but also annoyed, cause this conversation now may take some precious time he could enjoy differently. He sighs.

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Yes BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: I did BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Sorry about that

YOU: Are you really sorry?

BestFriend!Chishiya bites his tongue, weighing his options. His head falls back and hits the headboard of the bedframe with a small thud. Another Bing sound follows the last heavy one. BestFriend!Chishiya lowers his gaze from the ceiling to his phones screen.

YOU: Be honest YOU: I won’t judge you YOU: Or be mad YOU: I promise

BestFriend!Chishiya types fast but concentrated, what is slightly difficult, given the fact, he only can use one hand for this task. The other one is still busy pleasuring him and there was no way he would stop. Not unless it becomes clear, the good time was over. Even if he has to blue ball himself. Knowing you are there, fully aware of his actions and even encourage him, turns him on so much. It feels so way better than all the other times at night, with your face and body next to him, but unable to enjoy his act with you.

BestFriend!Chishiya is still unsure if it was a good idea to share the truth, but he has a feeling, you already knew it, so denying it further, would only anger you and with that destroy this moment and maybe even future following ones. He couldn’t let that happen. Not after everything he did to get this far. All the things he said.

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: I am not sorry BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: I feel like I should apologize again for that, but that would only be just another lie

YOU: I see

There are a few moments of silence were none of you write something and BestFriend!Chishiya already thinks he choose the wrong route, but the Bing sound announces you were still into the conversation and with that, still with him. BestFriend!Chishiya exhales in relief.

YOU: When you asked for me to undress, were your intentions really what you said? YOU: Research reasons

Now it is on BestFriend!Chishiya to hesitate. He feels his approach may has been a mistake. Or maybe you aren’t just as clueless as he thought. It was likelier that over the time with him, you have captured a few of his habits and were now able to read some of his intentions. However, without the fast coming of his messages and his mind being literally in his pants, he could have seen how obvious he became. Just like you. The situations proceeding way too hasty and that likely thru you off, knowing that BestFriend!Chishiya is a man who first considers things carefully and well before acting on them.

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: No BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: I lied there too BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Not sorry about that either BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: But sorry you caught on it

BestFriend!Chishiya decides to stay honest and answer your questions. Hopefully, clearing all your worries and doubts with it. The opposite would be a devastating option that he doesn’t want to think about. But he did it anyway. It was a reflex. A natural trait of his brain. The way he thought and what made him so extraordinary. His character and quick wit, coupled with the fact that he just can't turn his mind off for even a second. A curse or blessing? Sometimes it’s both at the same time.

YOU: So it was a trick YOU: You knew what you were doing the whole time YOU: It was your intention to confuse me like you did and get me into that situation?

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Yes

YOU: All of it?

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Yes, again.

YOU: Touche YOU: I know you are a genius, but such a mastermind? YOU: I’m surprised I fell for I so easily

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: I’m not

YOU: Why?

Bestfriend!Chishiya can practically hear your annoyed scoffing, knowing very well that his blatant showoff of just how much smarter he is, sometimes makes you want to roll your eyes and hit him on his shoulder, while still giggling amused.

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Because I planned it carefully for some time now BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Should have worked out without the need of any back-up-plans BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: I see my mistake here, now BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Are you angry with me?

You wanted to say yes, but you think your answer thru instead, before typing it, taking your sweet time and hoping BestFriend!Chishiya is feeling even the tiniest bit of remorse, or at least he is sweating waiting for your answer. You aren’t really mad with him. Did he play you like a puppet? Yes. Did he lead you on his way to have you probably at his mercy? Likely. Was it selfish and unconsidered towards you? Oh yeah, but were any of his intentions malicious and aimed to harm you? You don’t think so and after all, you know what you got yourself into when you kept your friendship with BestFriend!Chishiya up. He isn’t like any other person you know. Never was. So it was kind of obvious that your friendship would be different too. After all that, did you really had a right to be angry with him? Even upset when he did nothing else than what he usually did? Playing with you, but this time to a different degree than normally?

YOU: I’m not YOU: I guess, you are you after all YOU: Always have been YOU: And in some way, always will be YOU: I think I am just surprised it went like this YOU: However YOU: Before I go on with anything YOU: Before we go on YOU: I have to know something

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: And that is?

YOU: Be honest YOU: Okay? YOU: I feel like I will be able to tell if you aren’t YOU: So try not to lie

This feels uncomfortably heavy and serious.

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Alright

YOU: Did you do this to play with me? YOU: Is this a game? YOU: Or do you want more?

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: More?

YOU: Than just having fun with me YOU: You know, fooling around YOU: And such

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Why is that important?

YOU: I don’t want to get the wrong idea YOU: And in the long run YOU: Get hurt or something

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: I see

YOU: I guess, I want to know where I am standing YOU: But also, where you are standing

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: I understand

YOU: And?

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: I don’t believe my answer will be sufficient enough BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: But I will try my best to be as honest as possible BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Since that’s what you asked

He really was trying, but Bestfriend!Chishiya wasn’t the kind of person that is able to understand and place is emotions as good as most people. Even dealing with them was always a hard task and most of the time, he was partly thankful that you informed him of times where he has been particularly cruel or mean towards other. Bestfriend!Chishiya knows how to play others, but himself? That was a completely different topic and a difficult one most of the time. It wasn’t like he felt bad after treating the people around him like scum and dirt and using them to his advance. Neither was it a problem. At least not always. But humans do tend to take things personally and act resentful. You informing him about his behavior, added immensely positively to his observation skills. You make him human. That said, isn’t it your fault he mislead you into this situation?

YOU: I did

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: In return BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: You can’t be mad at me for how I feel BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Right?

YOU: Of course not! YOU: You are allowed to feel as much or as less as you do YOU: I just don’t want to be played YOU: Not right now YOU: You have my permission to go on like before, when it comes to other things YOU: But not right now YOU: Okay?

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Agreed

YOU: So…

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: I believe, I didn’t want to lose you

YOU: You might wanna retaliate a little YOU: Cause, as you know YOU: Only one of us is on the advance level of understanding things YOU: And that is not me

BestFriend!Chishiya smiles honestly. It is so you to joke in a serious conversation like this. Always trying to lighten up the mood. Always fun. Another thing he likes about you. Why he keeps you close. You benefit him so much.

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: It’s obvious that at some point in your life, you would have gotten interested in the other gender BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: You didn’t seem like someone interested in females BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: So I believed it to be man BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: What meant, that one day BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Sooner or later BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: You would become more aware of your femininity BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: And likely BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: with that BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: also interested in sex

YOU: That makes sense YOU: Somehow YOU: But… YOU: Not the following

BestFriend!Chishiya hesitates again. His mouth feels dry, and he licked his lips to wet those at least.

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: I did

YOU: What did you?

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Became aware of your femininity

YOU: Oh

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: I can’t tell you when exactly it happened BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: I believe this to be your next question?

YOU: Yes

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Well, I can’t BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: All I can tell you is, I suddenly saw you with different eyes BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: You changed in mine BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: And I felt different towards you BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: But that was okay BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: I had it controlled BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Until I realized that you too will start to see man differently BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: More sexually BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: And I thought to force that situation for the right time BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: At a place I can control BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: And one I am sure to have your attention BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Will surely give me the upper hand of it

BestFriend!Chishiya takes a deep breath. He straightens his shoulders for the next message.

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: And it did

YOU: My eyes were on you

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Right

YOU: Attention too

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Exactly

YOU: You got what you wanted

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: I guess you could say that BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Thought, this wasn’t part of my plan

YOU: So, it wasn’t a game? YOU: You weren’t playing with me?

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Life is a game

YOU: Chishiya…

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: I guess, no

YOU: Okay YOU: I get it

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Any other questions? BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: The mood is ruined anyway BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Might as well proceed

YOU: And squeeze you like you squeezed yourself? YOU: Like a tube of toothpaste? YOU: Pun intended

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Sure BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: If that’s what you prefer BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Your joke was terrible by the way BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: But luckily for you I am smarter BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: And understood it

YOU: Doesn’t this mean, you are actually not smarter than me? YOU: But on my level? YOU: At least when it comes to this topic

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: No

YOU: I got you!

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: You are wrong

YOU: See, I feel different about that YOU: I believe I am right YOU: And given the fact that you tried to get me laid YOU: To get into my pants YOU: Oh you are so on my level

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Your ego is so atrocious BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: And non-existent BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Like your braincells

YOU: So you only like me for my body YOU: But not my brain?

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: There are parts of your character I appreciate BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: And I never said the last part BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: You are making that up

YOU: You said you feel attracted to me YOU: Don’t deny it now YOU: Its out in the blue!

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Never said that BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: I simply stated that I felt differently about you BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Everything else is just your imagination

YOU: The denial!YOU: The awakening! YOU: In your pants!!!

BestFriend!Chishiya: Now you are just being childish.

YOU: But you do find me attractive YOU: Do you?

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: I believe I agreed to be honest on the previous topic BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Not on this one

YOU: That day YOU: You know which one YOU: You said, all you see is just meat and bones YOU: That hurt YOU: I don’t know why YOU: But it did YOU: I guess after all you told me to do YOU: And your hands, you know where YOU: I don’t know why YOU: But it hurt to hear it

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: It was a lie BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: I do feel attracted to you BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Physically

YOU: Really? YOU: You are not just saying this?

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: I do feel sorry now that it pained you BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: It was my intention, back then, to play you in my direction BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: And for that BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: I needed to toy with your emotions BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: However BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: I do feel bad now

YOU: If you could go back YOU: Would you change it?

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: No

YOU: Not at all? YOU: Anything?

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Seeing that you have found me out BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: My true intentions BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: I would change one decision

YOU: And that is?

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: I would fuck you in the bathtub right then

YOU: … YOU: How romantic

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Do I come over as a romantic person?

YOU: I don’t know YOU: Sending dick pics in a serious conversation YOU: When I am all here YOU: Pouring out my heart and shit YOU: Is kinda romantic don’t you think?

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: If that is your understanding of romance BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: I believe, I could be BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Right now

YOU: Are you still up?

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: I am writing you or not? BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: This is not a robot BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: I verify I am human

You giggle at his kind of humor, typing back with your cheeks blushing heavily.

YOU: That’s not what I meant YOU: Smarty pants…

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: So?

YOU: I meant down there!

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Are you seriously having problems asking me if I still have an erection BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: After everything? BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Nudes and all

YOU: Haven’t got an answer yet YOU: And yes

BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Want proof to clarify? BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Another picture? BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: Is this your way of asking for one? BESTFRIEND!CHISHIYA: How dirty

164 notes · View notes

kyyuri · 2 years ago

Text

the sweet whisperings of you and i (plays like a broken record )

┊ ˚➶ ｡˚ ☁️ synopsis ; after spending many years longing for a friend group of her own, fate presents yn with a chance to make that long wait end, at the expense of her three year long relationship with nishimura riki - but was fate really that cruel ? or was there perhaps sabotage ?

pairing // non- idol ! riki x fem ! yn

genre // angst, a bit of fluff , lovers to ex to lovers

warnings // curse words, toxic friends

a/n ! SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY IN UPLOADING THIS 😭 would be going on a mini hiatus ( two weeks-ish ? ) as i have a lot of submission to do for school 🥲 encore ! would definitely be back soon ! don’t forget to support enhypen’s comeback ! the trailer was insane and im here for it ! PLEASE DONT FORGET TO LET ME KNOW HOW YOU GUYS FEEL ABOUT THIS ONE SHOT !

wc; 11.6k (not proof read )

[main masterlist ]

growing up with parents that were filthy rich yet never present in her life, yn was subjected to many struggles in life. it was only normal for her to wish for her parents’ presence during the hardest times — but yn’s wishes never came true and it never will. materialism isn’t something yn is unfamiliar with. her parents’ have long decided that love is anything money can buy and so, yn spent her entire life craving for something far beyond money.

after spending so much time alone, it wasn’t easy for yn to get used to an environment packed with human presence, high school. it didn’t take long for her to be outcasted either. despite her pretty looks, yn was never a fool when it came to people attempting to take advantage of her for monetary reasons. her constant rejections made many upset and so the rumours began spreading like wildfire and everyone ran with it. those were some painful days for yn. she would recall running into the arms of her driver for a warm hug whenever a new rumour appears out of nowhere. “ did i do something wrong ?” it was a question her driver often heard, “no darling, people are just harsh creatures who work hard to get what they want, even if their methods are unethical.”

there was only one thing ( or maybe two ) that yn looked forward to in her high school days. the time she invested in the photography club. since her parents couldn’t be there for her physically, she would spend hours living through pictures of others vicariously, making up fake scenarios of her with her parents. that led to her realising her never ending love for photography. although, the members there treated her poorly, she never once complained. it was also then, she met the one and only nishimura riki. up till now, yn still has no clue why riki approached her instead of shunning her like the rest. it was the start of a beautiful friendship which ultimately blossomed into something much more, to say the very least.

ii.

just like that, riki has been through thick and thin with yn, but this time as her boyfriend of three years. riki thinks she’s the most precious person in the entire world and yn think he is her entire world. the love they shared was believed to be eternal, considering how they were always stuck to the hips yet never once got bored of each other. yn’s insecurities ? riki knew them all by heart as well as how to counter them - how to make her feel loved. riki’s hobbies ? she have them all engraved onto the back of her head - always ready to learn more about them so riki would know how much she supported him and the things he take a liking for.

for three years, they were the perfect couple. for three years, nothing could come between them, not friends, not families and not even the worst arguments. riki knew of yn’s family background and so he made sure to never end the day with any of them upset with each other. it was one of the sweetest things he could do for his loved one.

just like any other normal night, riki laid in bed with his arms wrapped comfortably around yn. “i promise this is the last time i will bring this up, but are you sure you don’t want to meet my friends ? you guys might have a blast together !” he looked at her fondly, “it’s alright, ki. i want to be able to approach people on my own and be friends with them ! i haven’t had much opportunities in high school so i think i should step out of my comfort zone now that i’m going to university !” yn answered, snuggling closer to riki. “thank you for always keeping me in your thoughts.” riki laughed softly, “you practically live in my mind rent free. “

iii.

things were always easier with riki by her side. it was almost as if nishimura riki was her soulmate since the very start. she made up for his shortcomings and he made up for hers. they were always willing to accommodate to each other, never afraid to grow in each other’s presence. this was one of the things many people secretly admired about their relationship. it became crystal clear to yn that nishimura riki would inevitably be her first and last love because if she had a list of reasons why she loved him, it would never end. the moments they spent together were so well cherished, they often played inside her mind like a broken record - giving her ample amount of time to reminisce about those beautiful memories. to yn, nothing was worth trading the good memories riki created with her. to think riki could love her even at her worst was truly unbelievable ( at least to her).

when she first had her period while dating him and so unfortunately stained the pants she had worn that day, riki didnt make a big fuss about it at all. “ki, stop coming closer. please ?” “what’s wrong ?” she looked around flustered, unable to come up with an explanation that wouldn’t leave her feeling embarrassed or awkward. “did i do something wrong ? “ she shook her head, still pressing her lips together. “then… can you at least tell me why i can’t come closer ?” riki looked a bit upset at how adamant she was in making him stay away. yn pressed her back harder against the wall, hoping to at least slide past him and into the restroom. observing her body language, it finally hit him what had inevitably happened. “give me a minute. don’t go anywhere. i’ll be back really quickly. “ he most definitely stayed true to his words, in less than a minute, he came running back to her with the sweats he kept in his locker for dance practice. “here. you can change into these. when you’re done, wait here for me. i’ll go grab some painkillers and a bag for you to keep your clothes in.”

when yn first got a part time job so she could pay for riki’s birthday present, she had a hard time adjusting to the crazy schedule. thankfully for her, riki was always there to welcome her in a warm embrace when she returned home. “bad day ?” he pulled her towards the sofa he was seated on, “yeah. the manager keeps giving me backhanded compliments. i hate it there. and you should let me go now, i haven’t showered yet, i probably smell.” this only made riki tighten the hug even more. “ i haven’t seen you since school ended, im not letting you go that easily. you know, if you really have a hard time working there, you can always quit. whatever you need money for you can just tell me, i’ll go get a job instead and buy it for you.” such a sweet boy, always caring about how she feels and willing to sacrifice his time for her. “that won’t be necessary. i want to do this on my own. i won’t push myself to the limit, you know this ki. i’ll quit if it goes too far. thank you for thinking of me.” he hummed in reply. “well, i got something for you that might help take your mind of that witch ! its in the fridge right now, you can have it whenever you want. “ riki loosened his grip, resulting in the girl to run towards the kitchen instantly. “is that the strawberry cake from the newly opened store ? the one with a 3 hour long queue ?” she examined the cake slowly. “yeah ! i figured i might as well get it while waiting for you to end your shift. it was so annoying waiting under the sun but the smile on your face right now made it so worth it.” he gave her a cheeky smile.

when yn finally managed to get the gift she worked hard for, riki was there to celebrate it with her (even though it was quite literally meant for him). “ki ! remember how i said i wanted to get the thing i needed on my own ? well i did it ! i also resigned from that shitty place. “ “THAT’S GREAT ! c’mon ! let’s go out for dinner to celebrate ! my treat !” he spunned yn around from happiness. riki didn’t ask any questions, he was just glad that yn was free from the misery that came along with working in that store. he was also glad that he was now able to spend more time with her again. once yn’s feet touched the ground, she put her hand up, almost as if she was signalling him to stop. “why not you take a look at what i bought ! i can’t be excited about it alone.” taking the bag from her, riki took a peak. inside the bag, sat a beautiful wrapped nintendo switch with a console customised to suit riki’s aesthetics. “no way ! you got a switch ! i’ve always wanted one ! i’ll get one soon and then we can play together !” he reached his hand out to return the switch to her, “it’s for you, ki. it’s an early birthday present ! that’s why i was so persistent on working to get it for you. i wanted to use my own money to buy a gift for you. i thought it would be more meaningful than getting it using my parents’ money.” she could’ve sworn she saw riki tear up. “yn, have i ever told you how much i love you ?” he melted into her embrace, trying to stop himself from sniffling like a little child. “ everyday, nishimura. i’m well aware of it.”

iv.

the first day of university was the one of the days yn considered the hardest. orientation was the bane of her existence and yet she was powerless in this situation. it didn’t help at all knowing riki was placed in a completely different orientation group because of the degree he was pursuing in arts ( while yn chose one in fashion ) . sulking, she waved him a final goodbye before dragging her footwear with much exaggeration. he chuckled at his girlfriend’s cute antics before running up to give her one last hug, “love, you’re going to be fine. you’ll meet plenty of nice people there and your dorm mates as well ! i’ll text you whenever i can so give this group a chance ?” she nodded her head at riki’s words, still pouting.

life without riki was … boring. she didn’t need anyone else by her side, she just needs riki. her attempts at distracting herself by drawing circles on the ground with her fingers were working until two female pop up in front of her face. “you’re yn right ? im yuju. this is minhee. we are your dorm mates ! i hope we get along well !” the female reached her hands out. smiling, she took her hand gladly. this was yn giving the group a chance and knowing riki, he would be beaming with joy if he saw this scene with his own eyes.

this conversation led to many more exchanged within the trio. within the period of a short day, yn had learnt many things. two of which being that minhee and yuju had been best friends since elementary and that minhee had a boyfriend, jaehyeok in the same university as well. “i hope you understand if jaehyeok comes by the dorms often !” minhee exclaimed, directing her statement at yn. “that’s fine by me as long as my boyfriend gets to come by as well.” “you have a boyfriend ?” yuju shot her a look of disbelief. yn smiled back in response. “no way.. im the only one single here ?! what’s his name ?” “nishimura riki.” the look minhee and yuju exchanged was one that confuses her a lot but she doesn’t question it, not wanting to make them uncomfortable considering how they are one step away from forging a friendship. “interesting…” was all yuju could managed subsequently.

for the first time in awhile, yn felt like she was alive. it felt so good having friends of the same gender after being left alone for half of her life. it made her feel even better knowing that these girls were the ones that were going to be with her 24/7 thanks to their dormitory placement. “im so happy ! i’m literally floating right now. they were so nice and relatable ?! yuju was so supportive of me the whole time and minhee is so good at planning. she even got the whole layout of our dorm settled and suited for our needs. i fucking love them so much.” riki chuckled at her excitement, its been a while since he has seen her this happy. kissing her forehead, riki smiled, “it makes me happy seeing you this excited. i hope they continue to treat you well. let me know if you guys ever need help, okay ?”

“would you be able to help me move my stuff to the dorms today ? when you’re done moving yours of course.”

“im down to help at seven. you need anything else ?” yn shooked her head.

seven came and rolled by real fast. the door bell rang and yuju shot up immediately, “i’ll get it.” no one thought much of it since minhee also made sure everyone knew that her boyfriend, junhyeon was dropping by to help out as well. “nishimura riki ?” yuju leaned against the door frame. “how do you know my name ?” his brows furrowed, “yn told me about you. i’ve heard plenty. im yuju.” she offered a hand to shake only for riki to decline it with a smile, “im here to help my girlfriend so can you let me in ? thanks.” biting her cheeks, she moved aside for him to enter. “ ki ! you’re here !” “hello love.” yn ran into his hands, allowing him to spin her around in a circle. “let’s get to unpacking hm ? the faster we do this, the more time we can spend watching slam dunk.” she nodded in excitement before dragging him towards her room.

“what do you think about him ?” yuju whispered to minhee. “who ?” “nishimura.” minhee shot her a look, “let’s not talk about it while he’s here, ju.”

being with riki always made everything feel more fun than it should be. unpacking ? that’s a competition waiting to be won right there. cleaning up ? first one to grab the best tool gets to use it to clean. life would rarely be boring and this was definitely one of the boring moments in life that riki made enjoyable for yn. “how am i supposed to clean the window with a broom ?” yn pouted, “hey. you grabbed it, not me.” riki laughed and as much as he was definitely following the rules, he would ALWAYS make sure to help yn - who always grabs the wrong tools out of frenzy - to clean up with her tool. she grabbed a broom to clean a window ? no worries, by the time riki is done, that broom would magically become a stick attached to a wet cloth.

“anddddddd we are done.” riki fell onto the bed from exhaustion. “ewwww ki, we are literally disgusting right now. let’s change out first, your hoodie and sweats are still in my closet.” and by the time the couple was done, they were snuggled closely with her laptop placed on the pillow with slam dunk playing. it didn’t take long for the couple to fall asleep with their hands wrapped around each other tightly.

vi.

when yn woke up to a missing riki and the delicious smell of pancakes floating in the air, she jumped out of bed and sprinted towards the dining area. “good morning yn.” yuju and minhee greeted as they sit across each other, indulging in a plate of riki’s self made breakfast. “good morning love. you can go get your teeth brushed first, i saved you a plate and i made bungeoppang and bought some banana milk too. come eat when you’re ready.” giving riki her signature cheeky smile, she dashed into the bathroom. “you know riki, you’re a really great boyfriend. yn is lucky to have you. thank you for the breakfast, it was really good. ”yuju smiled. he looked around the room awkwardly, “um, thanks ? honestly, im the one who is lucky. i can’t believe i even got yn to date me… im glad you enjoyed the meal though, it’s yn’s favourite.”

“ki ! ki ! the food critic is ready.” riki chuckled at his girlfriend’s antics, looking at her full of love despite her childish side showing. “eat well my little duckling.” riki thinks he could watch yn eat all day long and he would never once get sick of it. when he first found out that yn hasn’t had a home cooked meal in the longest time due to her parent’s lack of care, he took it upon himself to master the art of cooking just so she could taste the slightest feeling of homeliness. the first few times he tried to whip up a meal almost resulted in the fire department being called to make a trip to his area. the challenges he faced didn’t stop there. when he tried again the following week, using his sisters as his lab rats, the stiffened look on their face confirmed his failure. time and time again, he failed to make something that could be on par to that of a homely meal. he had to beg his grandmother to teach him her ways just so he could shower yn with the love that her inner child deserves. all the cooking lessons he got definitely did not go to waste, and with many burn scars and cuts on his hands, he proudly presented to her a lunchbox full of love.

“thank you for the meal ! i owe you one. you should probably get going though, class starts in an hour and if you stay any longer, i just might ditch to stare at your face.” she hugged him, “wouldn’t that be a win for me ?” he wiggled his eyebrows before the two exchanged sickeningly sweet “i love you”s and bid each other farewell.

“gosh, its like you guys are attached to the hip.” minhee giggled at the sight before her. “i guess i’ve grown to be a little reliant on him. “ a fond smile attach onto yn’s face.

vii.

having friends taking the same degree as her definitely made university more endurable. “what the flying fuck is wrong with the professor ? its only our first week and we suddenly have a solo project each ? he drops the most vague description of what we are supposed to do and calls it a day ?” minhee tugged at her hair in annoyance. “it looks like the other departments aren’t having it easy either, riki just texted saying that he has a full painted portrait assigned, due in a month.” yn sighed. “this isn’t the university life i had in mind. all i wanted to do was get a degree while partying and falling in love. let’s just mug tomorrow, i have no mood for this today. ” yuju stuffed a bunch of sketches down into her bag.

once the trio returned to the warmth of their dormitory, the collapsed to the ground immediately. “hey yn, is riki coming over again ?” yn hummed, agreeing to the statement. “i’ll go get changed first, help me let him in if he arrives earlier than expected.” upon receiving a thumbs up from minhee, the girl headed towards her room. “i have a crush on riki.” yuju whispered out of the blue. minhee sat up, eyes wide open in shock. “what ?! have you lost your mind ? he’s TAKEN. by YOUR roommate.” minhee whispered back. “it doesn’t matter. i think he’s attractive and he is my walking ideal type. i WANT him, and besides its not like i like yn a lot anyways. she’s so annoying, riki this riki that.” silence fell upon the two. “help me sabotage their relationship. please. you’re my bestfriend.” “okay.”

the sudden knock on the main door sent the two into a shock, considering how they were scheming for someone else’s downfall. “nishimura, you’re here. you can wait by the couch. yn is getting changed.” yuju batted her eyelashes. he doesn’t reply, just giving her a blank stare - one enough to make her a flustered mess. “riki ! you’re here !” “love ! come give me a cuddle !” he pushed past the girl standing by the door and jogged towards his girlfriend. their sweet moment didn’t last long. not with the other two around scheming. “yn, im so sorry ! could you do the chores now ? i have to run to the store and get ready dinner for jaehyeok just told me he had a bad day and the kitchen’s in a mess and i dont have enough time and please-“ minhee shot yn a desperate glance. “i’ll do it, go get the stuff you need. it’s really not a big deal.” “thank you, youre a life saver.”

riki thinks they aren’t genuine friends but the way your face lights up whenever you talk about them makes him wish he was wrong. “i’ll help you love, it would be faster that way. “ he tugged a strand of her hair behind her ear and the two got to cleaning. to think that she would waste such precious time with riki to clean up someone else’s mess. “i know you’re a little upset yn.” riki exclaimed, not looking up from the area he was trying to mop. “im sorry, i didn’t mean to spread the negative energy. i can’t help but feel upset. i wanted to spend time with you since we are going to be so busy starting from tomorrow.” riki chuckled at how adorable his girlfriend is. “yn, every moment i spend next to you will always be precious to me. it doesn’t matter if i’m cleaning the dumpster or watching movie with you. i love doing things with you because i love you, hmm ? no matter how busy i am, i’ll always find a way back to you.” while it pleased yn hearing that, it definitely angered another ( especially since their failed scheming only ended up bringing the couple closer )

viii.

with everyone’s submission date approaching at the speed of light, the small break time riki had were all invested in hanging out with yn. he was exhausted but he would never let her know that. seeing her face for even an hour would make everything worth it. he didn’t see anything wrong with spending time with his girlfriend until he accidentally overheard something he shouldn’t have. regrets started pouring in and he questioned how selfish he could be. “yn, im honestly sick of it. we may be your roommates but we are also your best friends. if you’re going to spend every waking hour with riki, do you really need us ? we are trying our hardest here to find a time where we can hang out with you but your entire personality is about riki ! riki this riki that. fuck yn, we get it. we seriously get it. but if you aren’t going to put any effort into our friendship, then i think its better we end it.” he heard yuju say, with hints of frustration buried in her voice. “i didn’t know you guys felt that way… i’ll accommodate. i promise ! please don’t ever say anything about ending our friendship… please…”

to say riki’s heart shattered at the sound of his girlfriend’s trembling voice is an understatement, because he was in absolute shambles. “fuck this is my fault…” he cursed under his breath, kicking the wall next to him. when the main door unlocked to reveal yn, he dropped any hint of sadness on his face in hopes that she wouldn’t find out about what he heard. “hey, ki ? do you think we could… meet lesser ? just for now at least…” it was such an absurd request. “okay, love. i’ll be waiting for you. let me know whenever you’re free, i’ll come running to you. when im not here, promise me you’ll take care of yourself okay ? no skipping meals, no pushing yourself to the limits. i love you. “ he gave her one last hug, one that wouldn’t be returned even after a week.

that week was horrible to both riki and yn. so much changed in so little time. for the first time in a while, yn felt lonely again. it feels just like the times her parents would leave her alone to go on business trips that would last for months. being together with yuju and minhee didn’t help the situation she was in a lot but it was still better than nothing. and with each passing day, riki gets more nervous. it wasn’t just the fact that he hasnt caught a glimpse of her face since the day he hugged her, but the fact that yn temporarily stopped replying to his messages. was there something wrong ? was she okay on her own ? he would never admit it but he was always as reliant on yn as she was on him and this time apart physically pained him. finally deciding it was too much for him to bear, he ran to her dorm, pounding on the door in hopes that she would be there. “nishimura ? why are you here ?” yuju questioned. “where’s my girlfriend ? is she okay ? she hasn’t been responding to my texts and i’m starting to get worried.” yuju laughed, puzzling the man. “she’s alright. her phone’s getting fixed. minhee accidentally spilled water on it a few days back. they are out getting groceries, i’m sure they’ll be back soon. would you like to come in and wait ?” he couldn’t figure out if this was some sort of trap but at the very moment, he decided that being able to see his girlfriend was the most important thing and with that, riki entered the dorm.

the room was dead silent. yuju couldn’t stand it, not one bit. “you know, nishimura. you really piqued my interest a lot. you seem to be willing to do anything for yn.” she started. “yeah ? maybe because i actually love her ?” yuju laughs again. “it must’ve drove you insane when yn’s phone broke. i wish i could see it with my two eyes… here. it’s my number. yn’s phone is getting sent back around… the end of this week ? you can contact me if you want to know how she’s doing.” her hands reach out, placing a piece of paper into the palms of riki’s hands. “it wouldn’t be wise to throw it away. after all, yn is staying with me.”

“ju ! we’re back ! where should i put the - ki ! you’re here !” dropping the groceries, she made a run towards him, jumping into his arms. “i miss you so much, you don’t even know.” he buried his head into the crook of her neck. “can we hang out, please ? i don’t want to leave just yet.” he mumbles. “hey, um min ? would you be able to handle the groceries alone ? i… wanna hang with my boyfriend.” giving yn a nod of assurance, the couple then headed towards yn’s room.

ix.

there was silence again, but this time a more comforting one. “i think this is the longest i’ve gone without interacting with you ever since we started dating.” riki combed through yn’s hair with his fingers as the two lie in bed. “i’m sorry, i should have told you earlier. our schedules clashed a lot recently especially since submission is round the corner. i thought about just getting another phone but yuju convinced me out of it.” he looked at his girlfriend with atmost adoration. “next time anything happens, just let me know… somehow. mail me a letter if you have to, okay ? here, you can use my phone first. yuju said it won’t be repaired completely till the end of this week. i have a spare phone so i’ll contact you through that.” although the two haven’t seen each other in days, it’s the smallest things that reassure yn that their relationship would be nothing but good. “i love you, riki.” she whispers. “and i love you too, yn.”

“fuck, its clearly not working. riki is too much of a green flag for him to fuck up a three, almost four year relationship with that bitch.” yuju punched at the kitchen countertop. “okay, then sabotaged their relationship through yn. there’s something odd about her. if you find the insecurity, you basically have the upper hand right ?” minhee shrugged, placing another packet of biscuits onto the upper shelf. yuju smirked, “i guess this calls for a girls’ night.”

with that, the trio sat in yuju’s room later on in the night. “i never had a girl’s night before… what do you usually do ?” yn innocently asked the two. “we spill all our secrets and have fun. we drink until the sun’s up and sleep in the same room together.” minhee answered, pouring the three of them a shot of soju. “since me and min already know each other for many years, we’ll mainly ask you the questions and you can ask any one of us !” yn nodded, “can i start ?” as usual, the two girls nodded. “min, how did you and jaehyeok meet ?” minhee downed the shot, “when the next door neighbour is hot and summer fling material, things were bound to happen. he asked me out around the time summer ended i think about five years ago ?” yn’s chest felt warm, is this what it feels like to have friends ? friends that were willing to share secrets like its their prized possession ? “what about you, yn ? did something happen in the past ? i’m sorry if its a sensitive topic but you seem very attached to riki and very new to all these friend stuff…” yuju stared at the ground after managing to get the question she longed to get answers for out of her mouth.

there it was. a pang to her heart. it feels almost uncomfortable, but that’s the type of things friends would ask right ? because they cared. “ah… well, i never had any friends before riki came into my life. most of the people i went to school with tried to take advantage of my parents’ wealth through me so i never had a chance to make a genuine friend with the exception of riki. my parents… they aren’t very… physically or emotionally involved in my life… they send me presents every now and then but were never there when i needed them or when i just accomplished a milestone. oddly, i don’t resent them.” it felt like the weight has been lifted off her shoulders when she said that out loud. “that’s because you know they love you. love is everything money can buy and based on what you said, it looks like they bought you everything.” yuju said, giving yn a pat on the back to show her support. “what about your boyfriend though ? does he buy you expensive stuff ?” minhee inquires. “i prefer spending time with him over getting gifts from him, so i don’t really mind not getting a lot. he also says he is saving up for something. he has been saving ever since we started dating. i thought it was for a car but he has one already and is still saving. i never asked about it since he didn’t tell me why the first time i asked.” yn took a shot. “ has it ever occurred to you that maybe just maybe… he doesn’t love you as much as he makes it seem ? i mean we already established that love is anything money can buy but he barely even get you anything. your phone broke and the best he did was give you his used one ? it’s not even brand new. your parents love each other, right ? they give each other expensive things. your parents love you, they give you expensive things. jaehyeok loves min, he gives her expensive handbags. even when people get married, they propose with expensive rings yn, not with spending time.” she took another shot. did riki really love her ? “look, you’re one of us now. we are just looking out for you… why not you test him ? tell him you broke your airpods and see how he react. if he loves you, he would drop everything and get you a new one - even if it means touching the savings he have.” minhee gave yn a pat on the back. it was all going according to plan.

the next time riki saw yn, there was this pressing feeling that something bad was about to happen - a feeling that he never felt before around her. “a penny for your thought, love ?” riki caressed her cheeks as the two laid on the sofa in his dorm. “it’s really nothing of concern, ki. thanks for asking. oh, i got my phone back so you can have yours back.” she passed him the item, not sparing him a glance. riki was never dense, he could tell yn was planning something. something that might not lead to the best outcome. “okay, if you need anything else let me know alright. i’ll try my best to help you out.” the sweet boy offered. “i broke my airpods… i tried asking my parents for new ones but they aren’t reachable at the moment…”

“do you wanna use my headphones instead then ? until you can get a replacement. ” and that’s when it all happened.

“fuck this… why do you always offer me your used stuff when shits happen to mine ? why can’t you buy me new ones…” she stared at the ground stubbornly. “i… i didn’t know you would want me to get them for you… you always told me to not spend on you excessively , but if you really want me to get you them , i can… give me a week …? i should be able to get a job by then…” the boy was confused, is this really what she wanted from him all along ? for him to shower her with love by buying her luxury items ? he must’ve been a bad boyfriend for not noticing it especially after years of dating. “work ..? you have a whole bank account filled with money… and you wouldn’t even touch it for me ? what’s so important about the thing you’re saving up for… what makes it more important than me ? even minhee’s boyfriend spends money on her ! she gets a new luxury bag almost every month…” tears were rolling down yn’s face by then. riki hugged her tightly, giving her soft pats on the back, “i can’t tell you just yet but please trust me, love. i’ll get you new airpods by the end of the week, okay ? please don’t be upset. i’m really sorry for not realising earlier that i should’ve showered you with things you like. i’ll buy luxury bags for you too… please don’t cry anymore…”

he hated everything he has done to make her this upset, but most of all, he hated himself.

xi.

reaching out to heeseung, the boy agreed to help be a photographer for his project - earning him a total of three hundred and fifty dollars per shoot. it wasn’t enough so he agreed to model for jay’s fashion line as well - allowing him to invest hundred dollars more into your gift for every hour he worked. riki was hellbent on getting you more than just that airpods you cried over. he was going to get you everything you ever wanted. “dad ? can i choreograph for a class ? i kinda need a bit of money now… two days would be enough… that should earn me about six hundred dollars…”

“i think i was too harsh. i should apologise to him.” yn said, sipping on her drink sadly. she felt guilty. riki was willing to do everything for her and all she did was whine and complain about the amount of effort he put in. “no ! don’t do that ! if you say sorry, he would never take your requests seriously ever again. he might even love you lesser since you’re so easy to guilt trip. if he loves you, he would work for it and hang out with you during the duration of him buying you those items.” yuju affirmed the girl.

with the amount of jobs riki took, it was hard for him to make time for his girlfriend. he would spend eight hours of his day in school, painting, drawing, sculpting. then, spend another three hours taking pictures of the models heeseung hired. it was then another four hours modelling for jay, leaving him with only nine hours left to fulfil one’s basic needs as well as make time for yn and homework. on the days where he has dance classes to teach, he wouldn’t even be able to catch a glimpse of yn considering how he was running all over the place. the texts exchanged gradually became lesser as exhaustion took a toll on riki both mentally and physically. but he was okay with it, because the outcome would eventually bring a smile back on his girlfriend’s face.

riki doesn’t realise he had fallen asleep… in the middle of his home date with yn. she watched the boy rest in the most uncomfortable position, wondering how he even managed to sleep through that. wondering how he could even sleep during the few hours he barely made to spend with her after almost ghosting her for the entire week. picking up riki’s camera, she pressed on the gallery button and instantly wished she didn’t. inside the file were many photos of beautiful girls dressed in the prettiest clothings, if not, beautiful girls wrapping their hands around riki as the two smile for the camera, wearing matching outfits. the camera that was once filled with many photos of her was now replaced with many photos of other girls.

yn covered her mouth to muffle the sobs. how could he so selfishly throw away a relationship they invested so much time in ? riki groaned as he got up, rubbing his eyes to clear his vision, he had heard her crying in his sleep and felt the absolute need to check up on her. “love…? are you crying ?why are you crying ? do you want to talk about it ? i … still have some time to spare.” she pushed the camera towards him. “fuck you, riki. why did you do this to me ? no… how could you do this to me… “ love, what are you talking about ? did i hit you by accident when i was asleep ?” the tears continue to pour from her eyes. “let’s break up. i-i saw the photos with the girls… my decision.. it’s final.” it was now riki’s turn to cry. he felt his vision blur. “so that’s it …? i don’t get a say in it too ? i don’t get to explain ? please… please reconsider… i want to spend my whole life with you… i want you to be my very first and last love… yn, please…” he knelt before her, sobbing. “no, riki. my friends… they were right all along. they said you didn’t love me since the start. work ? that was just an excuse to cheat wasn’t it ?you had money saved up… so you used that as an excuse to meet other girls… everything minhee’s boyfriend did for her… you never did for me. you’re so busy these days you don’t even bother replying to my messages only for me to find out that you’re with other girls. when we do hang out, it always end with you falling asleep halfway or you being distracted and i’m tired of it… this is the end.” “yn love, i didn’t cheat, i swear ! i really was working…” “quit lying.” she stood up, ready to leave his dorm. he quickly wiped his tears upon realising that yn was leaving. “w-wait. take this. it was meant for you anyways. open it when you arrive safely at your dorm.” he handed a big shopping bag to her before hugging her one last time. “i love you.” riki whispers, “i’ll always love you, yn. take care my love.”

xii.

riki was upset. he had every right to be. he had worked so hard for so many years in hopes of filling in the void yn’s parents never did, but yet he failed. he had taken a week off school, reassuring the lecturers that it was due to an emergency when it was really just an excuse for him to cry all week. he stared at the many portraits he had drawn of yn over the years as well as the many photographs he hung of the couple together in his dorms. everything reminded him of her and it hurts him more than he thinks it should. “riki ? thank god you answered. i’m really sorry she saw those photos… i was a fool for not getting a camera myself for the photoshoot. i’ll explain it to yn, i promise. i can’t sit around and do nothing knowing how much damage i caused.” “heeseung. it’s fine. really. it’s not your fault. i was a bad boyfriend to yn. that’s why she broke up with me. i’m sorry i can’t help any of you out with your latest project. i need some time alone.” his voice was scratchy and hoarse from all crying. “that should be the least of your worries right now. have a good break, don’t do anything foolish , okay ?… i’ll let jay know as well.” “thanks.” throwing his phone across the room, he took his keys and headed straight out of the dorm.

riki walked and walked and walked. he walked in the dark night, walked past hundreds of strangers and kept walking until he reached his destination. unlocking the door, he collapsed onto his knees. he was finally at the place he spent three years (almost four) working on, his very own apartment that was meant to be shared with his now ex girlfriend. ever since he met yn, he knew that she was the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with and so he decided that on their fifth anniversary, he would surprise her with their very own apartment and so he started working throughout his highschool days all while keeping it a secret. he would help choreograph some dances on saturday mornings for money, telling yn that he was busy with physical training for his extra curriculums. on mondays, he would lie about having make up football practice when he was really modelling. riki would even skip some meals to save as much as he can for the apartment, only willingly spending money when it comes to yn herself. it took riki two years and a half to be able to buy a nice cosy little apartment (with the help of his parents of course) and he has been decorating it in secret as much as he can with his spare change. riki walked around the apartment, slowly feeling his tears welling up again. he had decorated it exactly how she would describe her future house to be. a soft, fluffy white rug sitting below the sleek khaki couch and a marble table. a walk in closet with a large vanity table and a white center table for accessories display. a master bedroom with a king sized bed, a bed side table and the lamp from ikea that yn couldn’t stop raving about. the extra bedroom that was turned into a studio for the both of them. the storage room he filled with shelves to give her space to store the cloths she needs for her designs. the half decorated balcony. riki did everything he could for her and it wasn’t enough for her to feel loved. he sprawled all over the floor, making no plans to get up from the position he was now in as tears flowed down once again.

as she left riki’s dorm, yn mentally cursed herself for letting the one last thing that was good in her life go. she was now back to square one where it was just her against the cruel world. she had been dying to open the shopping bag riki gave but decided against looking into it until she had reached her room. yn thinks she had cried enough that day. she thinks she cried so much there weren’t possibly any tears left. oh how wrong she was. once yn was back in the comforts of her bed, she took a deep breath in and opened the bag. inside sat the airpods headphones she had asked from him the other day, a prada handbag, a bouquet of flowers as well as two tickets to the museum showcasing the works of her favourite artist of all time. the tears flowed endlessly. riki had given everything yn asked for in the promised amount of time. “yn, are you okay ? i heard you sobbing.” minhee said from outside the door. “min… i think i fucked up…”she wailed even harder. “shit. stay there, i’ll call ju over and get you some ice cream.”

and so, another impromptu girls’ night occurred. “i shouldn’t have broken up with riki… he did everything i told him to do… what if those pictures were a misunderstanding ? he never lied to me before….” yuju sighed, “yn, there’s always a first time to everything. you saw it with your own eyes, the way he was interacting with the girls in the pictures intimately. the buying of luxury items were probably all a facade to keep you around. don’t cave so quickly. you should block him.” she snatched yn’s phone from her hand, pressing into riki’s contact and blocking him everywhere.

xiii.

a week apart turned into a month. riki’s current mental state did not make any progress ever since he let go of the love of his life. the sweet whisperings of “i love you” played in his mind like a broken record. although he most definitely wasn’t in his best condition, he’d rather spend his waking hours worrying about yn. did she eat well ? was she able to have a home cooked meal within the month ? was her classes too hard on her ? did she go to the museum with the tickets ? he had hoped she did, he wouldn’t wish for her to miss out on that rare opportunity that barely even came by. he camped at the ticketing website till dawn for a chance to get the tickets which quickly sold out subsequently. riki would be lying if he said he never tried to reach out to yn, but his efforts all lead to fruitless outcomes. it didn’t take long for him to realise he was blocked on all socials. that’s when he remembered, yuju had given him a way of contact. “hey, um this is riki. i was just calling because i was worried about yn… how is she ? is she doing okay ? i haven’t been able to reach her. please cook her some homemade dishes once in a while, i think she would love that. please let her know that im waiting for her as well…” “nishimura, yn is doing just fine. she isn’t at the dorm right now because she’s out on a group date… minhee tried to get her to meet new people so she would feel slightly better. i think she blocked you, so it might be a little hard to contact her. if you’d like, you can come over now and talk to her once she returns ?”

at that very moment, it felt like yuju was his knight in shinning armour, “yeah. that’ll be great. i’ll be there in ten. ”

taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door to the girls’ dorm. “it’s open !” yuju shouted, prompting for him to enter on his own. riki sat awkwardly on the sofa, waiting for yn’s return. “don’t be so awkward. i know you haven’t been here in awhile but a lot of things haven’t changed you know.” yuju placed a glass of water in front of the boy. “yn… you mentioned she is meeting others now… romantically ?” the girl nodded in response. “i see… i hope the guy is able to treat her better than i can…” he sighed. it’s been a month but the wound was still fresh. “don’t be like that, riki. you were a great boyfriend to her. i’m not sure what exactly changed her mind that much but you’re the most ideal boyfriend i’ve ever seen. don’t doubt you capability to love. “ she placed her hand over his. riki would be lying if he said he wasn’t taken aback. first, his girlfriend of many years broke up with him, then he contacted his ex’s friend like it was nothing and now her hands are on his as if it was only natural that happened. “fuck it, yuju. you don’t understand how much i loved her. how much i still love her. i’ll keep changing and working on myself if i have too, i just want her back. i’ll buy her the whole world even if it means i have to sacrifice myself. she’s my lifeline.” he threw his head back in frustration. “riki, you’re too nice. she doesn’t deserve you or the effort you put in for her. for your sake, please. move on. you can get any girl you want on this planet so don’t dwell on her. there’s so many single people on this earth like me. yn isn’t special.” riki scoffed, “she isn’t special to you but she is to me. and for the record, i’m not looking for anyone else, i’m only looking to win yn back. “

the door unlocked to a figure of yn standing there dressed in something considered pretty. “w-why are you here ?” yn stuttered. “yn, love please hear me out. please. just once. “ riki’s eyes teared up at the sight of his previous lover. “riki, i’m not your love anymore. please leave… i’m not ready to deal with any of this yet. ju, please walk him out…” yuju nodded, grabbing ahold of his hand and walking him towards the door. upon closing the door behind them, riki fell to the ground - huddling his knees as his sob the pain away. “i-i fucked up real bad this time… didn’t i ?” “no riki, she’s just being selfish. i’ll try to talk to her about this. i honestly still have no idea how or why you guys broke up but if you could give me a clearer picture that would aid me a lot.” she patted his head softly. “i… don’t want to talk about it in public.” riki sighs, “what if we talk about it at your dorm ? would you be alright with that ?” yuju suggested. “it doesn’t really matter to me.”

xiv.

the talk lasted way longer than riki would’ve expected. by the time he was back from the washroom, yuju had already fallen asleep on his couch. he stared at her face for a few moments before leaving the room, only to return with a blanket - placing it over her body. a smile spread across her face without him knowing.

time flies when you’re having fun - so the night went by really quickly as yuju replayed the scene of riki placing the blanket on her non stop. she made a note to wake up early and prepare breakfast for the other to show her worth. “morning riki. have some breakfast before i leave. i remember hearing that you like having cereal and milk for breakfast. i got them all ready.” he muttered a quick thanks in reply before sitting down quietly across her - clearly with no intentions of talking about what had happened last night.

and these moments soon grew to happen from once a week to almost every 2 working days, where riki would randomly walk into his dorm to see a drunk yuju crying about wanting some boy that didn’t seem the least bit interested in her. he had grown accustomed to her but still occasionally wishes for yn to be back in his warmth. how he wished he could ask her what to do. when yuju woke up the next morning, it was almost as if she had never crashed at his place at all, she looked prim and proper. “hey rik, i’ve been dying to know what’s in that brown box. it’s been sitting there for ages, it’s collecting dust at this point. can i open it ?” before riki could even stop her, her hands reached for the lid and her eyes widened as she took in everything. countless of pictures of yn and riki were scattered across the insides of the box as well as every single thing yn gave that could possibly fit in that box. “what the actual fuck. you aren’t even together with her anymore, move on ! you need to get rid of this. “ she snatched a polaroid of the couple and scoffed. “look yuju, in the nicest way possible, fuck off. how long i take to move on isn’t something you can control. hell, i still have feelings for yn, okay ? i would run to her the moment she calls. i’m not throwing ANY of this away.” “are you fucking insane ? i worked so hard to get you to leave and you’re still so stubborn. you’re a fool, riki. i fucking love you and you won’t even see it. how selfish. “

confusion was plastered all across riki’s face, then anger. “what the fuck do you mean when you said you worked hard to get ME to leave.” the silence thickened. “you fucking bitch, you sabotaged my relationship, didn’t you ? oh my god you’re a horrible friend. get out. NOW !” he grabbed her hand, pulling her towards the door and pushing yuju out the door. riki fell to the ground in horror. everything made sense now. the sudden change in yn’s behaviour. the sudden requests that never seemed as important previously. the breakup. because of yuju, he lost the love of his life. because of yuju, the couple had to suffer. because of yuju, he could only play the “i love you”s from yn in his head like a broken record and no longer hear it in person.

riki could sit here and pray for yuju’s downfall, but he wasn’t going to do that. riki was hellbent on winning yn back, and this time no amount of sabotage could stop him.

xv.

maybe some things are easier said than done. winning yn back was definitely one of the case for riki. she was avoiding him like the plague, leaving him defeated on a daily basis. “i’ll try again tomorrow.” and yet tomorrow came and went by with another failed attempt. feeling defeated, riki went to the cafe he once spent 3 hours queueing for to get a breath of fresh air. poking at the cake he remembered buying for yn, he sighed. “can i get an americano a-and a slice of that famous strawberry cake.” riki’s head instantly turned towards the direction of the voice, only to find the familiar face of the owner with tear stains on her cheeks. “yn…” he waited for her to grab her items before making his way towards her. “yn. please. i need to talk to you.” tears rolled down her face once again.

“fuck off, riki. why can’t you leave me alone ? or anyone acquainted to me alone ? you’re even going for yuju now ? are you kidding me ?” “im not going after yuju. i have no interest in her.” “that does not explain why she has the polaroid you took of us. why are you even lying ? what’s the point ?” riki was shocked at how much the love of his life has changed. the girl that was once a sweet angel seemed to be lost somewhere. “yn, she stole that from me the moment i found out she sabotaged our relationship.” “now you’re accusing my friend of things she didn’t do ?” “if i play an audio recording for you, would you believe me then ? i have no reason to lie to you, yn. i have no interest in any other girls either. i made a promise to the gods that you would be my first and only love and im not breaking that. “ pressing the play button on his phone, riki handed it to yn as the audio sounded.

“o-oh my god… this can’t be real.” “it is. i didn’t think they were very good friends in the first place but what yuju did really crossed the line.” “riki… what do i do ? i literally live with them.” she placed her head in her palms, sobbing. “i have an apartment.” “what ?” “i bought that apartment for us a few years back. it was supposed to be a gift for our fifth anniversary… you can stay there, at least until we figure out what to do with yuju and minhee. i don’t think you should be around them for a while. just pack your stuff and i’ll… text you the address… if you could just unblock me somewhere…”

xvi.

as promised, riki gave her the address and helped her move in. “i told them my parents wanted me to move back into their homes and they looked… happy.” riki reached his hands out, ready to give her a hug only to stop midway, remembering the status of their relationship. “i think you’d want to be alone for a while, to think through everything. i won’t be staying here, so you don’t have to worry. you can sleep in the master bedroom, the studio would be on your right and the toilet is down the hallway. the walk in closet is next to the master bedroom. you can keep your cloths for your projects in the storage room on the left of the studio. i’ll drop by once in a while to give you microwaveable food in case i can’t cook for you that day. you don’t have to worry about the groceries or bills. i got them covered. just rest well.” “riki. thank you. let’s talk at the end of the week.” he nodded in response.

a week went by just like that. riki would be lying if he said he wasnt anxious about what was to come next. ever since their break up, it was almost as if he had lost his sense of direction. he had to start all over again and with yuju’s constant intervention, it wasn’t the easiest thing for him to do. this week was no different, yuju constantly trying to apologise to him for her outburst - blaming it on yn. “rik. yn is out of the picture now ! she doesn’t even stay at our dorm anymore. we can be together.” pure disgust plastered all across riki’s face. “you’re seriously deluded. get help.” and with that, he walked away.

the sun had already set by the time riki had reached the apartment yn currently resided in. knocking on the door as a heads up, he entered to find yn preparing some wine for the both of them. “let’s chat in the bedroom.” riki sat on the bed awkwardly across his ex. “what… do you want to know ?” “truthfully… everything. i want to know how you got the money to buy this place… why there were girls in your camera… why yuju would do such a thing…why you’re still helping me… i want to know it all.” riki took a sip of the wine. “well for starters… i have been working since high school. i worked as a choreographer at my parents’ studio and did modelling as well. like i said, this was supposed to be a five year anniversary gift to you… so i spent the past few years decorating it secretly. that’s what the secret bank account was for and why i refused to touch it… as for the camera… when you said you wanted all those gifts, i started working as a photographer for heeseung and choreographer at the studio again. additionally, jay offered for me to model for his gender neutral fashion line, hence there were girls in the photos with me. they paid me enough to get everything you wanted as well as get some more stuff to decorate this place…yuju… she’s fucked up. apparently she liked me and i only found out when she admitted that she sabotaged our relationship to get together with me. she’s been preying on your insecurities and i’m so sorry i couldn’t stop her in time… i’m helping you because of my promise. my promise that you’ll be my only love in this life. you can break me a hundred times and i’ll still go back to you. i’ll wait for you until you become mine again and even if you don’t, i’ll still wait for you.” yn was crying again. “oh my god i was such an asshole to you…” riki chuckled softly, wiping the tears away from her face. “yeah… but still, i prefer hearing your voice in person than to only be able to hear your voice play in my head like a broken record.” “what do i do now… i’m still going to run into them in class. i can’t avoid then forever and they’re literally the only friends i have. yuju is going to be pissed if she finds out i’m staying in this apartment that YOU bought.” “you can’t avoid them in class but you can make new friends. i know its a little hard for you but i recently found out that sunoo’s girlfriend is in the same class as you. i can get her to help you out. i know you want to make friends on your own so just take this as you meeting her on your own through mutuals ! don’t discredit yourself. if they do anything to you, gather enough evidence and we can submit it to the school committee. the committee might reassign you to a new dorm but if you want to continue staying here, feel free to.” “okay. i want to meet sunoo’s girlfriend. i’m free the day after.”

xvii.

“hi yn ! i’m ryeji, sunoo’s girlfriend and your classmate ! riki told me about what happened. so i’m more than willing to lend you a hand !” seeing her bubbly personality definitely eased yn’s nerves. “riki really does have a pretty girlfriend…” the girl whispered under her breath. “o-oh i’m not his girlfriend… anymore.” “ah ! then you must be the girl riki swore to only love !”

“how was the meeting with ryeji ?” riki asked. “she’s a lot nicer than my previous friends. she said she’ll help me out if they ever approach me.” “that’s great. i’m glad things worked out with her. here. it’s a new bag.” he pushed a chanel gift bag towards her. “riki… about what i said last time… i didn’t really mean it. it’s just that… yuju convinced me that you didn’t love me because you didn’t do what my parents did… i’m really sorry i accused you of such things.” riki gave her a tiny smile before pulling her into a hug. “i know. i’m not mad at you for saying such things. i guess i should pamper you occasionally as well. i don’t think any amount of handbags could be worth as much as my love for you back then and now. don’t be sorry about the past, be happy you were able to realise what you truly want. it’s perfect alright if i’m not what you want. i’ll be happy as long as you’re happy.” he rubs yn’s back slowly. “well, i want you back. i’ll court you this time ! you did everything for me back then and now it’s my turn to return the favour. i want to be the best girlfriend ever ! “

xviii.

riki woke up to his doorbell ringing, his disheveled hair and confused face clearly showing the state the boy was in. swinging open the door, he was met with a smiley yn with two bottles of banana milk in her hands, “morning ! it’s my first day of courting you so i wanted to walk with you to school ! you always walk me to school so i thought we could change it a little.” pulling her in before closing the door behind her, he led her to the couch - head on her thighs, eyes on her face. “hehe, good morning yn. now that you’re here, i don’t want to go to school anymore.” she dragged him by the arm towards the bathroom, “go get ready for school. we can always hang out after ! my submissions are finally over.”

the two walked to school, just like they used to - but this time earning more stares and whispers due to their previous breakup. “this is my lecture hall. i’ll see you after my class ends ! i’ll think of you !” yn gives riki a cheeky smile before sliding a chocolate bar into his arms. his favourite. “yn, you’re here !” ryeji called out to the girl, signalling for her to leave riki’s side. “have a nice time in class, call me if anything happens !” riki shouted after the girl.

“i see you’re back with riki ?” ryeji wiggled her eyebrows, “not exactly yet. im courting him this time. it’s my way of saying sorry for everything i guess.” the other girl cooed at her response. “my favourite love birds.” “love birds ?” yuju slammed her hand onto the table. “you bitch ! he was courting me and you stole him away like that ? just as easily as you threw him away ? who was there for you when you were crying your eyes out ? me ! and who was there for riki when you dumped him over YOUR insecurities ? me ! stop being a pick me bitch yn. quit being so selfish.” ryeji threw her pencil case at yuju’s face. “shut it, you witch.” “OH. and it seems like you got a new friend too. let’s see what happens when she finds out your secrets. how everyone’s view of you would change.” lifting her feet to place them on the table, above yuju’s hands, yn laughed. “tell them. or should i tell them myself ? riki told me everything you did to sabotage our relationship. and i believe you have a polaroid that belongs to US.” snatching her wallet, yn reached for the polaroid. “oh and you can stop chasing riki now. he is everything but impressed by your shenanigans. in fact, he had enough evidence to file a case against you to the school committee so i highly suggest you STOP messing with people around me. or i’ll mess with you.” the room went pin drop silent. yuju kicked the table in defeat before walking out of the door, too embarrassed to sit through class. yn heaved a sigh of relief, “you did great, yn.” ryeji assured.

xix.

sitting across riki in the restaurant was yn in a beautiful dress. “i don’t think yuju or minhee would be bothering us any time in the future.” “that’s great. i’m proud of you for standing up for yourself. “ riki’s hands reach for yn’s cheeks, caressing them slowly. “i also got something for you !” pushing a bag towards him, she flashed him her signature smile. “it’s something i made during class ! one of the professors said that i should start a clothing line and my connections would be able to boost it. so i decided you should get my very first piece. you can even model for the line if you like and i would love for you to design the logo !” opening the bag, riki found the most beautiful piece of clothing he has ever since, tailored to make his body features stand out even more than they already did. “you don’t understand how much i love this. thank you so much, yn. i appreciate it. truly. i can’t ever thank you enough.” “well, you can thank me by being mine again. what do you say, love ?” “of course ! it would be an honor to be yours again.” the two reconciled in a hug, “ i love you.” riki whispers.

—

taglist ! @hafsa-hoofsa-heefs @hiqhkey @enfinitystansenhypen

permanent taglist ! still open ! @soobin-chois @aksemy @ja4hyvn @enhacolor @abdiitcryy @ahnneyong @jungwonsgfnameyukie @stepout-09-15 @llllllllama @mafukissu @loveliii @vieniee @curly-fr13s @officiallyjaehyuns @ixomiyu @luva1y @pkjay @txtbrainrot @xiaoderrrr @jhopesucker @haknom

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madwomansapologist · 2 years ago

Text

Scoring Points (In their hearts)

synopsis: Led by your brother, your crew decided to play the King of Clubs game. Arisu might be certain that the best he can do is understand this land, but you are determined to make sure he will survive. Whatever it takes.

warnings: Niragi is his own warning, but the things I gonna make him suffer also deserves some warnings. Hands will be lost. Nudity. Its a aib oneshot, we gonna talk about death and blood and violence and all those bad things. One person will die, only one, try to guess who. Power of friendship. Karube and Chota will be mentioned. Eldest sister worried about younger brother. Younger brother worried about eldest sister. Canon divergent. I love Goken, and I like to represent him as a excited puppy. Happy ending, I promisse. This was supossed to be about Kyuma, but I love the whole team so...

It was a silent trip. Half of you wanted to say something, but the other wouldn’t endure to listen to someone pretending to have a response. So you kept your mouth shut. It was enough to deal with your conscience already.

You thought that nothing would ever be harder than the Ten of Hearts, but the only reason for you to be alive now is luck. None of you knew what to expect now. That game simply started. No names, no rules, no cell phones. If it wasn’t for Ann having a car, or for Kuina to find a safe building y’all could hide in, you would have been shot by the King of Spades. Not even Arisu can save you from a bullet.

Arise led your crew to a new game arguing that it was the only way to finally discover what was happening on this hell land. You told him that you think this is some kind of country, but he said that Hatter ideas clung into your mind. Usagi didn’t believe that knowing what's happening would make that big of a difference, but the majority won.

After all, no one really had a choice. This sick world is ruled by a simple statement: or you play, or you die.

“This is…” Tatta stumbled over the words. “Giant.”

It was the biggest arena you saw since you started playing. It was a harbor filled with shipping containers stacked on top of each other until they were tall enough to block the view of what was inside of it. You could smell the salty aroma, but you couldn’t see the ocean.

“It says we need six players” Kuina read the board on the table with electronic bracelets.

Usagi was quick to add: “But there’s only five.”

And with just a second to imagine what was happening, all questions were answered by two coarse words. “Six, actually.”

And suddenly all the fear of the future turned into anger.

The world really isn’t fair. If it was, Karube and Chota would be with you both, laughing and drinking and gossiping about anything that moves. It it was, anyone who ever thought about touching a woman without her permission would be fucking dead. If the world was fair, Niragi wouldn’t be standing there.

Just like Kuina, your first action was to go to another place. Just get back in the car and let him rot. That was your brain talking, because your true will was to punch him until he couldn’t even open his eyes. Punish him for what he did to Usagi. For what he did to your brother. For what he did to you.

When you three were used by Chishiya, Niragi made sure that y’all would suffer. He beat your brother, and almost… He said he would have his way with Usagi and take you next. You think it's kind of ironic that what saved you both were the warning of a new game.

But when Usagi took the bracelet, you knew that you had no choice but to play with him. She saved you and your brother after the death of your friends, you could never abandon her.

“Don’t look at me like that”, Niragi said as he got closer to you. “I know you missed me.”

You took a step forward. Tatta held your hand. You broke free from him and kept walking until you were facing Nigari. You could smell the rotten flesh. Good. Now he is as rotten on the outside as he is on the inside.

“If you don’t play right, if you don’t help us win”, you smirk. “I kill you myself.”

Niragi licked his upper lip. “You're not the first to say that.”

“But I will be the last.”

With your bracelet on, the gates opened. “Registration is now closed. The game will now commence.”

Walking inside, you realized how big that arena was. It took a full minute to walk past the corridor. And now, able to look inside it, you knew it was some kind of a labyrinth. A giant labyrinth, made with shipping containers.

“What is this place?” Tatta asked.

“The King of Club’s team is now entering the field”, said the announcer, almost like she heard Tatta. And the voice was replaced with rock.

Each from a different side of the labyrinth, four people paraded to the center. And, well, they were cool as fuck. And because of that, you knew it would be harder than you can imagine. Every single calm and centered person that you meet on this land showed you what hell looks like.

“Welcome to our game field”, looking at those four people, you didn’t see the man talking. Until you did. “I am the King of Clubs, Kyuma.”

And he was fucking naked.

Looking at a dead body was less embarrassing than that. You and Kuina looked at one another, trying to make sure that you both didn’t go crazy and started imagining naked people. But if you were to go crazy, it would have happened sooner.

“Okay, let me introduce everyone”, said the naked man. “First we have Shitara.” A hairy man raised his arm.

“Uta.” And she was the coolest woman you have ever seen. In your old life, someone like her would make you blush.

“Maki.”’ He was just a normal average man. Meh.

“Goken.” And he was, for sure, the crazy one. A naked man was right in front of you, but that guy… you could sense the craziness.

“Pleasure.” Silence. “That's all the reaction I get?”

“I think you are weirding them out.” Uta seemed annoyed.

Shitara rested his hands on his thin waist. You were sure it wasn’t the first time they had this conversation. “Put some damn pants on.”

“What? Not a chance! Nudism is an upstanding practice. A social movement with hundreds of years of history! Clothing is a social construct. No biological necessity. Humans should be bare and raw. After all, it's only natural.”

He wasn’t shy. And, well, he didn’t have a reason to be. His body… Don’t get distracted. Don’t look down. Don’t look down.

“Listen, we don’t care about that” Arisu started, annoyance clear in his voice. You hold his hand, trying to stop him from pissing someone off. “Just tell us who you are.”

“Who are we?” The naked men glared at your brother. “We are the citizens of this country.”

You couldn’t help yourself from laughing. You tried to cover your face, but it didn’t make a difference.

“What's so funny?” Goken asked.

“Nothing.” You responded to him, running your fingers through your hair. Looking at Arisu, your smile went bigger. “I told you so.”

Goken and Uta made eye contact. She nodded with her head, and Goken got excited by that. They agreed: you have potential. Maybe your team can finally give them what they are looking for.

Looking at you, not that you have noticed that, Kyuma explained that his team created that game. Shitara was the brain of the project. Six against five. It still looked like your team was at a disadvantage. There were a lot of rules, but they weren't that complicated.

The game lasts two hours;

Both teams try to collect points;

The team with the highest total at the end of the games wins;

Each team begins with 10,000 points;

Players divide these points among themselves before the game begin;

The minimum amount is 100 points;

You can score points by battle, items and base;

You can pair up with a teammate;

Wristbands can give you an electric shock;

Point below zero: game over;

A tie is a win for the King of Club's team.

“So… it's a huge gamble.” You said to yourself. You started to stretch in the way Usagi taught you. How you wish it was a game where you could sit all the time. You are the best in Diamonds, your weakness is those games that demands a lot of physicality. “In a huge arena.”

“You now know all the rules”, Kyuma said. You used all your energy to look at his eyes. “Let the game begin.”

Arisu asked about coming back to the real world, but Kyuma clearly disagreed with the definition of real. “We want the truth”, you said. “Real or not, the truth.”

“You want the truth?” Kyuma repeated. “Face me with everything you have.”

“All right, then.” You caressed Arisu’s shoulder and gave Kyuma your brightest smile. “We’ll play your game.”

“What are you doing?” Arisu whispered when the other team was gone. “Why are you so confident?”

“All will be determined by how we chose to distribute our points.” You whispered back. Nigari was the last person you wanted to hear your strategies. “This is a math game. Play it right, be fast, and we can win. We faced harder games, didn’t we?”

“We didn’t. We literally didn’t. That's the whole point.”

A discussion about how your team should split the points started. Split in equal ways is fucking dumb, no one with working brains would do that, but how else should it be done? Of course Arisu knew what to do.

The faster runners get fewer points. Usagi and Kuina have 300 each. Slower runners get more. Arisu, Niragi and you have 3100 each. And the guard gets the least points possible. Tatta has only 100, but he can touch the base anytime he wants to get infinite points.

“You like me that much, uh?” Nigari asked to Usagi. Running in the labyrinth, you imagined how amazing your life would be if Nigari was mute. “You chose to pair up with me.”

“It's because I won’t care if you die in front of me.”

Laughing, he looked at you. “And you?”

“It’s because of her."

And almost without noticing, you three faced Maki. Together, you three have 6500. No way he can have more than that. With Niragi between you two, Maki did what anyone would do: he ran.

Kuina and Arisu were trying to find items.

“Okay, what's happening between you and Usagi? Or between you and your sister? Why did you let them pair with Nigari?”

“Nothing.” Arisu answered, but he wasn’t convincing. “Strategy. Usagi asked to pair her with him, and my sister… Well, she didn’t ask anything, she just did it. I don’t know. I think she is trying to protect Usagi.”

“Or to kill Niragi.” Kuina completed.

“She never killed anyone.” Arisu opened a shipping container. “She was always the kinder of us. My older brother is the brain, I am the useless, and she is the heart. She would never kill anyone.”

“A item!” Kuina screamed. “We did it”

With another 2000 points, they closed the shipping container. And Kyuma was there to congrat them. “I couldn’t help but overhear. Sounds like there is an issue. You are fighting with two of your teammates.”

As Kyuma stepped forward, Arisu and Kuina stepped back. “I learned something about being a leader. You can’t push people into following you for no reason. You have to be ready to listen to them. Wait for them to come to you.” Arisu couldn’t understand why Kyuma was advising him. “Now, let's go. Let’s not end our lives with regret.”

So they battle. And Kyuma lost.

Of course you couldn’t just find an item. Trying to put up with Niragi, even a second lasted more than a year. But when Usagi saw Goken, a guy that totally looked like someone that should be in a band and probably would be the first to be kick-out because of drug abuse, every second started to matter.

Usagi attracted him, running towards the corner where you and Niragi were hidden. You almost touched him, but he was really fast. Here's the first thing you learned about Usagi: no one is faster than her.

“I was expecting more from you”, you said after receiving his points.

Goken got closer to you. You could even sense his breath. He looked at you from head to toe, a smirk appeared on his face. “You are definitely reaching my expectations.”

"What do you mean by that?" You took a step forward. You didn't touch him, a eletric shock is not on your wishlist, but got your face close enough.

“You two gonna flirt?” Usagi stared at you, hands on her waist. “Now? Really?”

The screen announced more points to your team. Kuina just touched Maki on the other side of the arena. You glared at Goken. “We don’t have time for that.”

Goken was already running. "Maybe later!"

Gathered at the base, your team had a lot of motives to celebrate. But the other team… Well, you know what they say about people that lose everything: now they have nothing to lose.

“What do you think about them?” Uta asked. After all, she was the one that didn’t have a chance to interact with the players.

“They have potential”, said Maki. “Most of them.”

“I will keep my eyes on Arisu’s sister”, Goken couldn’t stop moving. “Gonna do it for the gang, obviously.”

“Oh, shut up already!” Shitara rolled his eyes. “We have to go now.”

Tatta was alone when they came. And he touched the base when he had to make a decision. And when he felt his hand against someone's chest, Tatta wished he would wake up from a nightmare. He would be on his bed, alone, safe and sound.

But he wasn't.

“You picked me?” Shitara stepped back. “You better use this to win. If I die in vain, I’m… I’m gonna beat the shit out of you in the afterlife, man.”

Tatta was staring at the man, looking in the eyes of the man he just killed, unable to move. He killed him. Tatta killed him. Tatta killed someone.

“You were my good friend." Kyuma always sound so happy, but now... "I’ll never forget what you did for us.”

Shitara roamed to one of the exits of the labyrinth. He was confused, barely capable of walking. "Let me at least die with some privacy." After he turned into a corner, hidden from everyones gaze, Tatta saw a laser.

Any sign of faith, any hope, dissapeared now. Dead. The crew was fucking dead. By the end of the game, if they don't find a way to save themselfs, they would be dead. 30,000 points. Thats not something easy to beat.

"Couldn't even guard one pole, right?" Nigari spat. He slapped Tatta's head. "Fucking useless. Trash is always gonna be trash. You piece of shit."

"Lay off of him!" Usagi demanded. "He did the best he could."

"We underestimated them." Arisu said. Tatta noticed how he didn't defended him. But he didn't deserve to be defended. He is the reason why his team will die. "They are prepared to die."

"So what do we do now?" Kuina were sitting beside Tatta. He didn't say a word for quite some time, she was starting to get worried about him. "We just have one hour."

"I think that", you interfered. "We should attack their base."

"They gonna be defending it."

"Nigari is right." Arisu made his choice. "Lets split up again. Items are key"

"I really think we should..." But no one listened to you. They were already running. If four people attack their base they won't be able to defend themselfs, but clearly Arisu didn't think that. You don't blame the others. Arisu usually is the one that knows how to win. You looked at Tatta. He was so quiet, it was like he wasn't even there. "It's not your fault."

"It is." He finally said something. "I am the one to blame."

You knelt down in front of him. Holding his hands in yours, stroking the scars he gained as a mechanic, you smiled. "Is it a Diamonds game?"

"What?"

"Or a Hearts game? Spades? You ain't gonna tell me they added one cart suit when I was distracted? God, I hope they didn't. I don't have time for that."

"What are you even talking about?" Tatta couldn't help but laugh. "You sound crazy."

"This is a Clubs game, right?" Tatta agreed. "So you can't be the one to blame. This is a team game. We should work together, win together, lose together. The last time I checked you didn't have five arms so you could kill anyone that comes near while touching the base. You did your best. We, as a team, failed to understand how far they can go. Now we have to fight back. Will you fight with me?"

Tatta tried to stop it, but a tear fell. He closed his eyes, nodding in agreement, and was surprised to feel you thumb brush his cheek. "Then lets fight with our lives. I will go now, but I will come back."

Shitara felt a shiver go up his spine. On top of one of the containers, hidden and forbidden to interfere in the game, he watched your team discuss and decide on a strategy. He also saw how they treated the boy who 'killed' him. He almost felt sorry. And he saw when you knelt next to Tatta, your confused words soon turned into something that completely changed how the boy behaved. You saw him, you realized he wasn't well, and you decided to help him.

He was starting to see what Goken saw on you. Maybe, just maybe, this is their last game. Shitara hope he is right.

But your pretty words couldn't change reality: your team was losing. Kuina lose to Maki. Arisu lose to Kyuma. Someone from your team found a item, and you found one after a few minutes, but it wasn't enough.

Running in the labyrinth, already lost, a scream got your ears. You stopped, but then you realized. You heard that before. "Usagi."

You ran in the direction of the sound, only to find Niragi on top of Usagi.

All you could see was black. It was like when you wake you from a dream you can't really remember. From a deep nightmare that eat you whole. When the colors finally came back, it was all red.

"Stop!" Usagi kept screaming. But she wasn't mad. You know her for a long time. She is worried. She is scared. She is hurt. But she isn't mad. "He is done! He is done."

You were on top of Niragi. He wasn't awake. Your hands... You started crying when you saw all that blood. Niragi was already done after the fire, but now you can't even see his face. His chest was moving, but he wasn't awake. Nigari finally shut his fucking mouth.

You look at her. Her head was bleeding. "Are you..." Your tears fought with your words, and they win. Usagi hugged you, and you could feel your body melting against her warm skin. "Are you okay?"

Usagi used all of her forces to give you a smile. Carressing your hands, getting blood into hers, she keep on nodding with her head. Her body was so warm you could fell sleep on her. "I am fine. I am safe."

Looking at you hands, glaring at the blood, something change. Usagi know that face. She saw it on your brother once a day. Its the face of someone hopeless finding a reason to fight. You had an idea.

Fifteen minutes later, you finally found someone. Watching the ocean, Kyuma didn't bother to look at you. "You'll lose." He warned you.

You nodded with your heard. "I know."

"Then go."

"That's the first game I know I won't win." Looking at the ocean, you realized why the game was happening there. It was beautiful. What a landscape. In another situation that place would be a paradise on Earth. "Even the King of Spades wasn't so difficult."

"Thank you. It took us a lot of effort."

"I didn't knew you were a liar."

Kyuma finally looked at you. "What did you call me?"

"A liar." You took a step forward, Kyuma didn't move. "You told us to fight with everything we have. You told us to not have regrets. Here am I, fighting with everything I have, and you refuse to take me seriously. Liar."

Within a seconds, Kyuma hold your hand into his. "As you wish."

But he lose. And the look on his face... you would never be able to make enough money to pay for it.

"How can you..." Kyuma couldn't look away from his hand. "Did you cheat? How did you...?"

You took your left hand out of your pocket, and between your fingers was the bracelet that once belong to Nigari. And it was covered in blood.

"Are you..." Kyuma couldn't look away from the bracelet. "You are insane."

Still holding his hand, you pulled him closer. "You said that we should use everything we got. Thank you, Kyuma. You offered me suck a pleasurable game. None could compare." You were serious, but needed to laugh. "I got this whole 'clothes are a social construction', but you don't know how pockets work?"

Before he could say anything, you ran away. You only have more 30 minutes. You loved the look on his face, but you needed to find your crew.

"You did what?" Arisu yelled. He was holding you on his arms, trying to clean the blood on your wrist with his shirt.

"You heard her", Usagi replied. "She won a battle. And we both found a item. We can win."

"We just need to touch their base", you said, hopping this time he would hear you. "If three people touch it, we won. Thats all we need."

"Lets do it." Kuina was ready to run.

"No."

"Arisu, we need to..."

"I won't sacrifice anyone here. We won't just run into their base and let someone die. Everyone will survive."

"Then do something!" You yelled at him. "If we do nothing all of us will die! We can't just sit down and shut up!"

"I don't know!", Arisu felt like his head was about to explode. When he touched the base, he realized something. "Someone didn't touch the pole?"

"I didn't", you moved to touch it, but he hold your hand. "Did I broke a rule?"

"I know what we have to do! But... I don't know if it will work. We just need a distraction. Something that would be impossible to look away. They are four but if it work..."

"Stop whispering to yourself!", Tatta yelled. You never saw him screaming to anyone. "We have 15 minutes left. Just explain your plan!"

When Arisu explained, everything was clear as day to you. "Am I the only one who didn't touch the base?"

"You were so excited to talk about your battle with Kyuma that you forgot", Usagi told you. "That means you gonna be the distraction, right?"

"Exactly." Arisu wasn't sure if it would work, but he wouldn't die with regrets. "You think you can do that?"

"I think I know exactly what I have to do."

At the other teams base, they couldn't stop talking about how you broke someones arm to took the bracelet out of it.

"Thats weird for her." Uta was standing against the pole. "She never harmed someone on her other games."

"I said that before but no one believed me", Goken said while running around. "She have so much rage inside her. She just needed a reason to explode."

Maki agreed with him. "But I bet Niragi is alive still."

"I think he is dead."

"No way! He is bleeding somewhere."

"Its a bet."

"Why are you so quiet?" Goken poked Kyuma. "Are you scared?"

Kyuma seen almost lost. "She surprised me."

"Thank you for that." Your voice gave away your location. Leaning against one of the containers, all eyes turned to you. "To be honest, I was surprised too."

And you were naked.

"Fuck", Goken shouted.

"Fuck indeed", Uta pinched herself to see if she was imagining something.

Maki looked to the sky. Suddenly it was so interesting.

"I want to battle again but I knew that no one would believe that I wasn't using his bracelet."

"I'm sorry. I am so sorry." Kyuma was looking at your eyes. Well, he was trying to look at your eyes only. "I'm sorry."

"You will battle me or not?"

When Kyuma did nothing, you got closer to him. Blinking your eyes, with a little smile on your face, you watched his eyes fighting to look at the sky. "You such a nice person", you purred. "You don't need to be sorry because you look at me. Clothes are just a social construction, aren't they?"

"I'm not sorry!" Goken shouted. You guess that's the only way he knows to comunicate with others.

"I've noticed", you smiled to him, but your focous was Kyuma. "Don't be so shy. Look at me." When Kyuma did obey, looking deeply into your eyes, you carressed his chest. And the eletric shock made you fall to the ground.

Then they ran. The surprise made the other team slow, they weren't ready to fight back. Dodging them, running towards the base, the three were like lightning. Trembling on the ground, you watched as Arisu touched the base. Then Usagi. But when Kuina was about to touch it, Maki kicked her away

"Really?" Somehow Kyuma was able to shout.

Squirming, you tried hard to answer. "You should know it was a trap."

"Oh my god", Goken laughed. "That was a booby trap!"

"It's a tie", Kuina cried on the floor. "Usagi, run to our base and come back here!"

"You can try" Uta said. She pointed at the big screen. "But can you run to your base and come back here in 3 minutes?"

"Really?" Kyuma shouted again. How could he be so fine? He wasn't even shivering.

"Oh, get over it! It's not my fault you saw a pair of boobs and got distracted." With a lot of effort, you sat down. Arisu run to you, one hand covering his eyes, and took you his shirt. Buttoning it, you stared at him. "I'm going to die and you are mad because I tried to win?"

"Are you covered?" Arisu asked.

"It don't matter", you answered him. "We are going to die. In 3 minutes we are done. I just killed Niragi and what did it change for us? Nothing. Worse: it made us believe we could win. This is it. I gonna die. We gonna die."

"We..." Kuina couldn't move. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't... I should have fought better. I didn't mean to... I'm so sorry."

"I know. We know", Usagi kneeled beside her. "It's not your fault. You tried."

"And now you are going to die!" Holding Arisu in your arms, you were the one crying. "I did everything to protect you and it wasn't enough."

Insteat of crying, Arisu hugged you back. Carressing your head, he was at peace. Arisu knows he did everything he could. That he tried to win with his whole being. And if this is how he is going to die, hugging his sister with the knowlegde that they would die without pain, than so be it.

"You protected me." Arisu whispered. "Since I was a kid. You did everything you could and it was enough. I had a good life. Not a perfect one, but a good one. If I could chose to live this very same life again and again, I would do it."

"We gonna have to deal with them for how long?" Maki asked. "This is embarrassing."

"What about being kind once in your life?" Uta closed her eyes. "Let them cry. One more minute and the game is over."

"Don't be so cruel", Usagi said to her.

"Why aren't you crying?" Kyuma got closer to her.

"I guess I'm just tired" Usagi hold Kuina closer. Whispering to her friend, Usagi felt something hard on her heart. "Tatta will die alone. He must be so scared."

"It's Game Clear to the King of Club's team." The female voice said when the two hours finally ended. "It's Game Over to the players team."

They waited for their death. Your eyes, before wide open, now were closed. Arisu hold you closer to him. Kuina and Usagi shivered against one another. And on the the other side of the labyrinth, Tatta were crying alone. But it never came.

"Do we agree?" Kyuma looked at his team. His hand was up in the air. "In three, two, one..."

All of them raised their hands on the air, and said at the same time: "I vote for the player team."

You opened your eyes. "We died?"

"I don't know", Arisu whispered.

"Congratulations!" Kyuma was so excited that everyone looked at him. And by doing that, everyone saw that Shitara was standing on a corner of the labyrinth. Alive. "Your team was chosen."

"For what?" Usagi feel like throwing up.

"To be trained by us." Kyuma was looking at you. "Welcome home, new citizens."

GENERAL TAGLIST: @suakemi @notanalienindisguiseblink

if you enjoyed, please reblog! i promise it makes a difference ♡

@ madwomansapologist.tumblr.

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aclownatemydog-blog · 1 year ago

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In secret

Draco Malfoy x Reader

Summary: Draco gets upset when he finds out harry asked you to the yule ball— and that you said yes.

word count: 1.4k

A/N: I hope you enjoy :) if you guys like it i’m super willing to continue it!

From the outside no one would have ever linked you- a rather friendly Gryffindor- with the pretentious Slytherin boy. He himself did not understand how your friendship worked, but it did. After bumping into each other late one night in third year after you’d both been out late getting fresh air, you realized you quite liked talking to him without his usual group of people around. he was calmer by himself, still rude and snarky, but it was tolerable without them fueling his ego. You ended up talking about your mutual love for Arithmancy for quite some time. This topic led to others and before either of you knew it you had been talking until the clock struck midnight. You went your separate ways then, but not before agreeing to meet again the next night.

For the past two years now, every chance you two got to sneak off to the lakes you would. It was your favorite place to sit and talk. you’d pick a spot and lay in the grass for hours, looking up at the stars. Your conversation had begun getting deeper the older you got, and you now know more about Draco Malfoy than you ever thought you would. You cherished your time with the boy, he was a surprisingly good listener and he made your days at Hogwarts more exciting. This was something you wanted to protect. That’s why no one could know about this secret friendship. It was an unspoken rule between the two of you not to talk about it, or talk to each other in public. You didn’t want your peers to dislike you because of your relationship with him, or for them to come between it. So that’s how things were and neither of you seemed to desire to change it.

It was lunchtime and you sat with your usual friends at lunch, a group of Gryffindors that you had known since first year. They giddily discussed the upcoming yule ball that had been announced. You too were excited, already thinking of what dress colors you thought flattered you. The only problem was that you didn’t have a date yet, and you really didn’t know anyone who might ask. Draco came to mind when you imagined who you would want to spend the night with. You reminded yourself that was ridiculous and quickly dismissed the thought. You had zoned out of the conversation your friends were having but your name being called snapped you out of your thoughts.

“ Are you even listening to us?” your friend chuckled.

You mumbled a “ sorry yes something about Harry right?” you had briefly heard harry potters named mentioned.

“ Yes! he was asking about you “ they giggled as they told me.

you looked just as confused as you were feeling. Why on earth would harry potter be asking your friends about you? you had never really talked to potter. most things you knew about him came from Draco’s rants about the boy. But you didn’t find him as enraging as he did.

“ I believe he fancies you. He asked if you had a date to the ball yet”

your heart beats a little faster at this. Was Harry Potter planning on asking you to the ball? You weren’t sure how you’d respond if he did. It was true you didn’t have a date, and harry wasn’t awful company. But your mind drifts back to Draco. He would be upset there was no doubt about that. But Draco was friends with people you didn’t like, and that didn’t stop him. So why should his opinion of people stop you? Besides, you two wouldn’t talk at the yule ball anyways. With that logic you had decided the if Harry potter did ask you to be his date, you would accept.

After a couple days, you still hadn’t told Draco about the information your friends gave you. Which seemed to be the right choice considering harry still hadn’t even talked to you. You began to give up the idea and look for someone else you might want to go with. This was until you were sitting in the library after classes and none other than Harry Potter sits down in the chair beside you. And when he asked the question you had been preparing for, you politely excepted.

Later that evening, as you lay in bed thinking over the events of the day, you found it less exciting to have a date than you thought it would be. In fact, you felt a small sense of dread. And when you tried to figure out why this could be, all thoughts led back to Draco. You did not want to tell him about your plans tonight. You knew he would find out anyways when you and harry showed up to the ball together but the thought of keeping this from him for another week made your stomach hurt worse. So you decided tonight was the night you’d have the conversation with him.

You made your way down to the lake and saw Draco already there. You noticed he was not sitting on the grass, in fact he seemed to be pacing rather quickly. As you got closer you were able to see a scowl on his face, it a was familiar expression but never before directed at you. He was muttering to himself something you couldn’t make out. You approached very slowly and hesitantly, unsure what was going to happen. When he noticed you he stopped pacing and looked at you with an emotion you couldn’t quite make out. He was angry, that was certain but something about it made you feel guilty. He looked like you’d betrayed him.

“ Potter! Of all people him ” He sneered while walking over quickly and stopping right in front of you. “And when were you going to tell me? I had to find out in the hallway from some stupid girls whining over the fact that he didn’t ask them instead. What’s so great about Potter anyways. He’s an annoying git! “

You looked up at him and tried to think of what to say that wouldn’t make the situation worse

“ Well he was the only one who asked me Draco!” you reply crossing your arms “ I didn’t seek him out or anything I just didn’t want to be a loser without a date. “ You admit to him. He takes a step back at this, still angry but not as confrontational.

“ If you were so worried about not having a date you could have said something to me.“ He stated it like this was common sense, which it wasn’t. Your eyes widened and you stood there unblinking as you took in what he just said.

“ What do you mean by that?” You ask after a moment, trying to clarify before you jump to any big conclusions.

“ Well obviously I mean that if you would have said something, I would have taken you myself.“ he matter-of-factly stated once more. He seemed completely serious and unfazed, like this wasn’t something that contradicted the foundation of our friendship for the past two years.

“ have you gone mad?” you question him with an incredulous chuckle. Still trying to make sense of it.

He scoffs at this defensively “ of course i haven’t gone mad. I know perfectly well what Im saying. You’re the one who can’t seem to comprehend a simple sentence, maybe you’ve gone mad!”

“ maybe i have gone mad! because no one even knows that was know each other and you want to show up to the yule ball as what?…a date?” you ask quizzically. This all seemed to be coming from no where. Draco had never shown any desire to make your friendship public and now all of a sudden it seems he wants the whole world to know.

“ It would be better than going with potter! And if anyone says anything about us going together i’ll deal with it. The thought of my best friend going with that.. that horrid potter makes me sick! I would never-“ he gets himself worked up over it again. waving his arms and huffing in annoyance. He continues his ranting but you can’t help but smile over the use of the term “ best friend “. You knew you enjoyed each other’s company but you never quite knew exactly how he felt until now.

“ draco-“ i try to interrupt him but he keeps going about the principle of it all— or something, you had tuned him out.

“ DRACO.” this gets his attention and he stops his yapping on about potter. “ Yes.” you say smiling.

He furrows his eyebrows annoyed that you cut him off, and even more annoyed that you don’t seem to be taking him seriously.“ what are you on about?”

“ yes. “ you repeat walking closer to him“ my answer is yes i’ll go to the ball with you “

#draco malfoy #harry potter #draco x reader #draco fic #draco lucius malfoy #hogwarts

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zvtara-was-never-canon · 1 year ago

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idk if zuko is a peoples pleaser or he just felt untitled to katara’s forgiveness but he does say “she hates me and i don’t know why, BUT I DO CARE WHAT SHE THINKS OF ME “ and before that he does safe katara from crushing rocks 🪨 and katara lends her hand when he is falling and appa caches him, i think zuko genuinely start to care about katara and sees her as an ally or friend and the southern raiders quest wasn’t JUST for Zuko’s selfish reasons, a part of it was, sure, but not the whole reason, Zuko’s cares about kataraa or at least cares what she thinks of him, we all that saying doesn’t he is in love with her or at the end he ends loving her in a romantic way lol nothing about what happened in canon or the way the writers wrote was about falling in love hahahah

There's a difference between "I care that this person I'm trying to befriend thinks I'm absolute scum" and "I am recognizing my mistakes and want to be better."

Zuko full on made up some bullshit theory of Katara directing her anger towards her mom's killer onto him instead of recognizing the simple fact that Katara was still pissed at him for the events of Ba Sing Se - in which they talked about her MOM, hence her bringing Kya up again.

This is the complete opposite of what zutarians claim Zuko did - they claim he wanted to be better for Katara, not just in the sense of being inspired by her into becoming a better person but in wanting someone worthy of dating her. Meanwhile he is REAPEATEDLY told why she hates his guts, and goes "This cannot possibly be my fault. She's projecting her issues onto me. If I help her fix her trauma, she'll HAVE to be chill with me being part of the group."

And him saving her doesn't change that - they're on the same side, on the same team. OF COURSE he's going to save her. Doesn't mean they have some deep bond.

I believe Zuko WANTED them to be genuine friends, hence him saying he cared that she thought he was a terrible person, but the way he went about it was COMPLETELY wrong and selfish.

It just so happened that, in true Zuko fashion, following the wrong path eventually led to him doing the right thing - aka actually listening to Katara, understanding her grief, realizing that VIOLENCE WASN'T GONNA FIX HER TRAUMA, and finally, looking genuinely surprised when she decided to forgive him, because, by that point in the episode, he was no longer demanding her friendship and forgiveness because he felt entitled to it, but was instead started actually showing genuine empathy towards Katara and her family. And the key thing is HE HAD NOT EVEN REALIZED IT UNTIL THE END OF THE EPISODE, aka it wasn't a case of Zuko making an effort for Katara.

Not to mention: That was ONE episode. Just one. One single instance of Zuko allegedly wanting to be better "for Katara" (which as I've already explained, it's bullshit). Meanwhile we have three seasons of his character arc having NOTHING TO DO WITH HER because, surprise surprise, Katara was not important to Zuko at all for 95% of the show, including during a good chunk of his "good guy" days. She is completely irrelevant to Zuko's redemption, no matter how many shippers insist otherwise.

#anti zutara

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shady-swan-jones · 1 year ago

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She's Perfect But You're Mine

Summary:

Killian has a girlfriend. Emma handles it with the utmost maturity and grace.

Or not.

Ao3

Damn you, rum, was the first thought that came to Emma’s mind when she woke up, her hair tousled, wearing the inner parts of yesterday’s outfit, and already feeling angry clouds of an impending hangover. She couldn’t be more pathetic, she thought, right before noticing a thin line of saliva adorning her pillow.

Outstanding.

Why did the alcohol gods punish her so harshly? She was rightfully celebrating catching her latest skip, Felix the Fiend -Felix the Fucker if you ask her- with her friends. Her group was a patchwork of people led by her employers, the charmingly dubbed, the Charmings. The only thing that made her move, very reluctantly and slowly, from the bed, was the thought of teasing Killian. He missed her singing, or rather murdering, Michael Jackson’s Beat It. Her performance in the club was Billboard Hot 100 calibre, but her roommate skipped the whole thing for mysterious reasons.

As she rounded the corner, overlooking their kitchen, his reasons were mysterious no more. In fact, judging from the adoring looks the small brunette was giving him over eggs and bacon, his reasons became painfully obvious.

Snuggling against each other, the pair hadn’t seen her approaching. Emma had a few seconds to have a massive internal freak out over the perfect picture they made, straight from a Folgers breakfast ad.

“Swan, good morning. You’re looking particularly fresh at this early hour, if I may say,” Killian said cheerfully, totally unaware of the absurdity of the scene. It’s not that Killian didn’t have girls over, his stubble and rosy cheeks were more successful than a dog with the ladies. A scarcely clad, tousled hair girl in their kitchen wasn’t out of the ordinary. The thing is, he never had breakfast with them.

Just when she thought she couldn’t be any more surprised, the real bomb fell.

“Emma, this is my Belle, my girlfriend."

Motherfucker.

A few things had scarred her college life, catching Ruby with -and on- the TA in her Bug, spilling scalding cocoa all over Elsa’s lab coat, finding out Neal had a girlfriend, one besides herself. Her meeting Killian, knocking on his dorm door to stop him from singing “We are the Champions”, loudly, for the twelfth time, out of tune, didn’t even make the top ten. She therefore had a difficult time explaining to herself why this stupid , ill advised crush she had on her roommate wouldn’t go away.

After that day, he’d done it on purpose. Playing his guitar at full volume to taunt her -this arrogant bastard-, going so far as to play Two Doors Down , in every annoying voice he could muster. “So Emma, what do you say,” he’d teased, as his hand had left the door handle and joined the other one in the guitar, “let me take you home tonight.”

And thus began a friendship, but dammit that was almost a decade ago, including a two-year old cohabiting arrangement. Her ill-advised crush on her roommate should have been over by now.

“So, Belle,” he started as Belle leaned further into him, tickling his beard, “this is Emma Swan, my friend and roommate.”

The brunette extended her hand gracefully while maintaining eye contact. Her green eyes appeared for all intents and purposes, honest and excited.

“Emma Swan,” Emma supplied redundantly. Nice way to make a good first impression, so smooth, Emma.

“I’m so glad to finally meet you, Emma. I couldn’t believe you talked him into watching the Princess Bride. I’m a fool for those Westley types,” Belle explained while patting Killian’s chest. His pointed, and adorable ears were quickly dusted with a shade of red.

“Who isn’t?” Emma asked and smiled the best as she could, wondering if this was normal or if her awkwardness was cruelly evident.

“That’s true, but it’s also what sold me on this guy. Quoting the movie in real time? My prince!” she says, cupping Killian’s chin while he gives her his most charming smile. The lopsided one, with a hint of teeth. The charming fucker.

They make such a disney couple, Emma waits for blue little birds to start chirping around them. The sight is so perfect, it makes her want to puke through her eyes.

“Ha. Yes.” she shuffles around them and grabs the cup with the painted swans. It's tall and the porcelain handle is broken, leaving her to grab it with both of her hands, even if the inside is scalding. Killian calls it her “chalice”. He gives names to everything, it’s an inside joke. They haven’t shared one for some time.

With her -tense- back towards them, she hears Killian speak to her. “Would it be okay with you if Belle stayed with us for a few days? Her plumbing is out."

She swivels and faces them, willing her eyes not to bulge.

"I hope I'm not in the way. You won't even notice I'm here", Emma highly doubts that, with Killian choosing this moment to tighten the arm around her waist. "I can bake too, Killian tells me you have a sweet tooth".

She's never rejected baked goods in her life, but even the biggest chocolate chip cake can't wash away the bitterness in her mouth.

"And I want to get to know you. We can be friends".

They're both looking at her expectantly as seconds go by and she doesn't speak.

It's then where Killian employs his tactic to make her open up, the one that got her to share about her sordid past, the ex still haunting her dreams and her inner, most genuine need for family. He holds her eyes and speaks softly.

"Love?"

At this second two things happen: Belle opens her mouth to answer, then closes it, squinting her meticulously shaped eyebrows at him.

And Emma hears that word and pain washes over her, realising it won't be aimed at her, not in the way she wants deep inside.

Her answer is drowned by excited screams. As she recounts to Ruby later that day over a couple -dozens- of beers, she just killed her chances with Killian once and for all.

That cake better be worth it.

#captain swan #cs fic rec #cs ff #cs au #captain swan ff #ouat ff #ouat #once upon a time #emma swan #killian jones #killian x emma

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ink-bunny-blue · 1 year ago

Text

PumpkinPitch Event from WriteblrGarden:

A Pocket Of Moons

(Progress: Draft 3 complete)

Blurb:

When a painfully shy painter, Madeline, escapes an arranged marriage she takes refuge in a forest believed to be endless. And in the overgrown ruins of a cathedral with a dark past, she meets Enoch, a creature who lives the life of both human and animal. Their friendship blossoms, and together they tell stories and explore the wilds, unravelling secrets about themselves and the world they live in. But a dark and wild force emerges from the forest: a cult of others like Enoch led by a mysterious human who wishes to claim Enoch’s sanity as its own. It is up to Madeline to save her beloved friend before he falls too far into madness to be saved.

Extract:

Madeline didn’t tremble this time. Her heartbeat leapt from excitement, not terror. There were no words to be spoken in this moment, so she inhaled deeply, walking towards it as though hypnotised, steps slow and deliberate. The beast rose and did the same, mirroring each step, almost becoming her in its movements as it descended the steps from the altar. Their eyes locked, staring deep into each other’s as they shared a silent understanding, an unspoken bond between human and animal. They moved together, step by step, as if rehearsing some kind of strange dance. As the two met in the centre of the apse, Madeline crouched, becoming level to the creature. Its fur smelt of rich woodsmoke, olive eyes deeply lucid. She reached out a hand, fingers unfurling as slowly, gently, she brushed the side of the creature’s face. It lent into it, blinking slow, then drawing its gaze up to hers. Its fur was incredibly soft, and the warmth from its dense muscles radiated beneath her hand. She wasn’t afraid of the flashes of white teeth inside its mouth, nor the unfamiliar hiss of its breath. What Madeline felt then was a true sense of understanding, and by the look in the hound’s oddly human eyes, she knew it felt something similar- some mutual knowledge or silent intimacy- a compassion without love. She remembered the note with the looped handwriting, and the book on her doorstep, then shivered with the possibility: “Are you… Enoch?”

Other info

Content warnings: Animal death, Cannibalism, Cults, Child death, Sexual harassment

Comparisons: Wolfwalkers, Midsommar, Frankenstein, Grimm's Fairy Tales, The Wolf Children

(Image Source: Frederic Sackrider Remington, Moonlight Wolf. Edited by me)

#pumpkinpitch #writblr #writeblr #a pocket of moons #writers on tumblr #wip #writeblrgarden

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lipringlrh · 2 years ago

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babe ruth - lrh

summary: you and luke were verging on a relationship when everything went wrong. months later, is there still time to fix it? based off the song “babe ruth’ by COIN

an: i promised this a month ago but oh well. please send feedback + constructive criticism. requests are open. if you saw this before - no you didn’t .

pairing: luke hemming × genderneutral!reader

word count: ~2250

warnings: long ass love speech, cliche message timing, blasphemy (‘oh god’), fluff, bit of angst,

song lyrics in italics.

…

Now that you’ve captured my heart

I’m just some criminal

I’m your falling star

It’d been almost a year since you and Luke had last seen each other. If either one of you were told that two years ago, neither would’ve believed that was possible. Since childhood, you and Luke had been attached at the hip yet within only a few months, the years that built up had burnt out into ash.

However, Luke had never forgotten about you. how could he? Friendships are hard to get over, even harder when it was a known fact you were in love with each other.

You’d never fully admitted to each other that you were in love - you just felt it. For years friends had told you how the other felt. You never believed it; until you did.

You spent hours in each other’s embrace, holding hands, kissing. You acted entirely like a couple. You both found out you were in love with each other on the same night: a party at Calum’s house on a random Thursday.

You’d overheard Luke telling Calum how he was utterly besotted by you, and when he turned around and saw you, you told him you reciprocated his feelings. But nothing changed.

You both adored the way you acted and wanted no chance you’d ever not be together so you decided to stay friends. You didn’t date so you could stay close forever but that just led you further apart. Ironic, isn’t it?

Now that I’m busy

I broke it all down

I miss you coming over, yeah

Every now and then

You were seemingly perfect together - until Luke went on the first leg of his tour. Slowly, your relationship deteriorated. Rumours of his new mystery girlfriend spread, something Luke knew wasn’t true but he never denied. And soon, all contact stopped.

A year later, and Luke had just finished his last leg of his tour and missing your terribly. He’d had breaks between each leg and tried to contact you on every one, all having the same response: nothing. He’d tried everything: getting his friends to call you, going to your favourite places, and showing up to your house he then found out you moved out of.

It seemed every scrap of you was taken from him. He just wanted you the way it was before.

Swinging for the fences, swinging for the fences

You got me swinging for the fences, swinging for the fences, yeah

You knew Luke had finished his tour; you’d seen many videos and were so incredibly proud of him. You didn’t know whether he’d try to contact you this time, you thought he’d be over the friendship, or possible relationship, so didn’t bother to get your hopes up.

Luke, however, decided he was going to go all out to get you back. He found out you were still single and hadn’t had a relationship since, well him, after running into a friend of yours on the street. He wanted a grand gesture - something that proved he loved you endlessly, but couldn’t find anything worthy for you.

What he had learnt, from the friend he ran into, was your current address and what times you were likely to be at home. Since he couldn’t think of anything else, he went home and he baked. He baked the exact sugar cookies you’d both adored as kids and spent many nights up making them.

Luke was never a talented baker; baking with him often ended in burnt deserts and take out, yet this time he was trying to make sure everything was perfect. Of course, knowing him, they were slightly burned, but were overall one of the better batches he’s made.

It was getting late, it was dark out, and Luke didn’t want to keep you waiting - not like you knew anyway. On the drive there, he was shaky, missing turns, and driving too slow. He felt sick at the idea this could ruin everything, becoming the last time he’d ever see you.

Luke had loved you forever, he’d been so lonely without you - nothing filled the gap in him reserved for you. Letting you slip from right under him was the biggest mistake of his life; he was out of touch with himself, his heart, and soul, because he knew deep down they belonged to you. But, maybe, it wasn’t meant to be, but it sure felt like was. And so Luke was willing to risk everything.

He wobbled up the apartment complex stairs, cookie tin in hand, and absolutely no idea of what to say. The stairs didn’t take long; you weren’t on a very high floor, but still high enough Luke was slightly out of breath.

It was as if now, stood outside of your door, it finally hit Luke what he was about to do. He didn’t want to do it, but he needed to. So, after standing there for, the longest minutes of his life, he knocked.

I was young and I was ill-prepared

And I was gunning for the rest of my life

Baby, come on, love like you used to

Oh, that’s how I want you

Just running on out and sleeping on the couch

If walls could really talk, they’d still be talking now

It was getting quite late when you heard the knock. You’d assumed it was your roommate - she was meant to be at her partners, but lately she’d been coming home earlier than expected.

You opened the door, expecting to the see the girl, most likely exhausted, but instead saw the man you’d given your heart to so many years prior.

He was stood in front of you - actually there. There were so many things you wanted to say to him: you wanted to shout, call him out for breaking your heart, yet you still wanted to hug him - maybe kiss him - and hope you would never stop. But you stood there, looking at him, and you couldn’t say a word.

He spoke first, whispering your name as if it was some kind of oath. You couldn’t speak or move, you could only just stumble backwards as he made his way through the door.

You missed him, so much, but were too stubborn to admit it every time he tried to talk to you. He was never clear with you, and when things started to become, what felt, heavenly, he gave up on you, crumbling your heart.

He closed the door behind him as he fumbled to open the tin he was carrying. He rested it on his knee as he pulled it open, showing the overly-browned cookies he’d made for you.

“I- well, I tried making them for you. I hope you still like them, they’re a little burnt but that’s less chance of food poisoning, right?” You looked at him astounded. You had so many questions, starting with what was he thinking? Showing up out of the blue after a year with a box of cookies you use to bake together. How did he think it was a good idea? What did he want?

“Luke, I-“

“Could you maybe listen to me first?” He spoke gently, uttering every word as if it could break you.

You nodded, wanting an explanation most of all. If anything, that was owed.

He made his way into your kitchen, pulling you by the elbow and placed the tin on the nearby counter. He pulled a cookie out, offering it to you, to which you took it and began eating. He didn’t take one, making you realise the ploy to keep you quiet.

“Listen, I am so sorry for what happened last year, I swear it wasn’t true, and I apologise for never telling you it wasn’t. It was only ever you and it always will only ever be you for me. I can’t promise you much, but I can promise you that.

I regret how we left things- I regret how we were. Not the relationship part- oh God no, but the fact what we had was never solidified. I never told you that I wanted you for myself- because I do, so badly, and I have since we were teenagers.

And if you don’t want to be like that again, I get that, I do. I’m sorry how we left it and that I never contacted you. And sorry for ruining not only the relationship but the friendship we had.

God I miss it so much- I miss you so much. I’ve never had that with anyone else, and I never will. There’s a space left next to me for you- even if you never want it, I would never replace you.

All that I’m trying to say, really, is I’m sorry, I miss you, I love you- everything and if there is any possible chance we could go back to how it was?”

No one lets me down quite like I do

You want some love

But you need some space and time

“These cookies are really nice, thank you,”

Luke sighed, he knew you would want time to think, he was desperate but would wait until the ends of the earth for you. “Thank you, I tried to get everything as perfect for you as I could.”

You smiled up at him, taking in his new look. He hasn’t changed much since the last time you saw him, he still looked as pretty as ever, yet you could still stare at him for hours on end.

“I don’t want to go back to how we were, lu.” Luke felt his heart sank and his eyes begin to burn. “Luke, look, I miss you more than anything, and I want you back in my life more than anything, but I can’t have it again, going weeks without talking, wondering if you’re with other people. I’m so sorry about what happened- it was my fault as much as yours but I don’t know if i can put myself through it again. I want a serious relationship, lu. Just me and just you.

I want to be able to call you my boyfriend in public and not be worried you’ll hate it. I want you- I really do, but I want all of you, not just some when you feel like it.”

You didn’t lie but you weren’t fully honest either - you’d live everything over a thousand times to feel his love, whether you’d admit it or not.

Luke’s eyes were watering and yours were too. "Can I hug you, quickly, please?”

You nodded, wrapping your arms around his neck as his interlocked behind your waist. You found a comfort in his embrace, it was nostalgic yet normal all at once. You fit perfectly into each other, it was home.

“I’m sacred of losing you again, lu.” you told him like a secret, “I don’t want to do this if you don’t think it’d last. I don’t think I could handle it again.”

He moved his arm, grabbing your face, with such care, and he looked at you, solely full of admiration. “Sweetheart, I’m in this for the long run- the longest run. No finish line, just everlasting. Forever and ever and ever, yeah?”

You hummed, placing your head into the crook of his neck, then feeling him place a long kiss on your forehead. “I want to be your boyfriend, if you let me- well not yet, I have to take you on a bunch of pretty dates first. But I’ve always been only ever yours and I will always be yours- whether you like it or not, really.”

Oh baby, whatcha gonna do when the universe puts your hand in mine?

You were still pressed into him when your phone buzzed a few times. “Sorry, can i look really quick, it might be my roommate?” Luke hummed, passing you your phone from the counter top.

A few messages flooded in:

not coming home tonight, don’t wait up

i think we’re actually sorted out now

i’m actually buzzing

you need a relationship next

download bumble again or something

anyway, good night, love u <;33

You smiled, quickly texting her back. You didn’t believe in signs, but you believed the universe was on your side for this one.

“Would you like to watch a movie? Maybe cuddle? I’d really like if you held me some more.” You stared up at him as his smile broke out, covering his face. You’re convinced you just fell in love with him all over again. You’re sure this is the beginning of the happy ending everyone always talks about. No one knows what happens next but Luke was your future, and for the first time, you weren’t worried about it.

You dragged him by his hand to the couch, picking up the TV remote along the way. Luke sat down first, letting you lie on him and secure his arms around you, not planning to let you go anytime soon.

“So tell me how your day was, angel.”

Now that I’m busy I broke it all down

I miss you coming over, yeah

Every now and then

You got me swinging for the fences, swinging for the fences

(You) Got me swinging for the fences, swinging for the fences, yeah

reblog it and you’ll meet 5sos (real)

#5sos #luke hemmings x reader #5 seconds of summer #5sos imagines #luke hemmings fluff #5sos x reader #luke hemmings imagines #luke hemmings #5sos imagine #luke hemmings imagine #5sos fluff #5sos fan fiction #my writing

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deulleya · 5 months ago

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"lie and truth."

the fifth instalment of my musical translation series — entering an elite academy amidst shrewd lies and shocking truths. will friendship endure, or will betrayal tear them apart?

the video is not mine, but all translations are my own.

musical: eli (일라이)

cast: [lyon] yu taeyul, ki sejung, noh yun • [eli] bae nara, hong seungan, park jwaheon • [sophie] lee seoyoung, lee jiyeon • [alice] im yejin, seong minjae • [yulia] baek yeeun, sun yuha • [justin] shin hyucksu (shin subin), hong kibeom • [headmaster] jeong jaeheon, byun heesang

synopsis: in the prestigious brixton academy for the rich and elite, the scholarship student lyon and his best friend eli are lauded as role models for the student body. that is, until the transfer student sophie upends the status quo alongside whispers and rumours. amidst the burgeoning distrust, the students defend themselves with lies upon lies that shake the very foundation they've built themselves upon. everyone has secrets, yet everyone seeks the truth — but is the truth they yearn for truly the real truth? and is there even a real truth at all?

production: new production (twitter / youtube)

[ this musical will be streaming online here, here, and here (different cast each day). hyuckstin and nyun lyon!! ]

- ☽ -

하나만큼은 – at least one

+ 바람 rep. – wind (reprise)

noh yun as lyon, park jwaheon as eli

[Lyon] What are you doing?

[Eli] I have faith in you. Whatever comes your way, you’ll pull through. That’s who you are. The real problem is me. Nothing interests me nowadays. As expected, the righteous path of law ought to be treaded upon by someone like you. A righteous person, like you. Not someone like me.

[Lyon] What do you mean by that?

[Eli] Hey, should I just flunk an exam? Or perhaps I'll withdraw from the moot court? That way you’ll definitely get in, regardless of what Sophie does.

[Lyon] What do you think you’re saying?! We promised to enter the same university together. Look, if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t even be here. You were the one who led me into this world. That’s why we have to keep going together, till the end!

[Eli] Lyon… I’m sorry. Calm down, okay?

[Lyon] …I’m sorry.

[Lyon] From a certain point Not a single thing has been going my way Not my grades, nor my evaluations, not even my emotions

The words that surface endlessly in my mind Perhaps the image you have of me May not be the real thing

Scared, fearful, unfamiliar, anxious These feelings, this side of me This isn’t who I am

I don’t want anything to change I’m going to live as I planned

[Lyon] When I’m with you, I can stay true to myself. The me whom you believe in. That side of me.

[Lyon] The future that I dream of I can’t let it crumble Can’t just this one thing Turn out the way I wish for? Without anything changing Even if it’s just the two of us

- ☽ -

[Lyon] Hey, that’s dangerous. Come back down—

[Eli] Lyon! You remember, right? You told me so — as long as I hold fast to my balance, I won’t be swayed!

[Lyon] I did..?

[Eli] Do you still remember? The day we first came to this place A school we’d never aimed for A dream we’d never harboured As if wearing ill-fitting clothes We were nothing but stifled

[Eli] C’mere. Ah, c’mon!

[Lyon] Coming.

[Eli] Ah, it’s refreshing!

[Lyon] Ah, it’s refreshing.

[Eli] Lyon.

[Eli] Do you remember that day? You told me, who felt trapped Not knowing where to head towards Or what to pursue, To feel the wind

[Lyon/Eli] Feel the wind If we feel it with our hearts Even without flying, we can soar As long as we don’t lose our balance We can be free, anywhere

[Eli] Hey, grab my hand! Grab it, grab it! Lyon. Shall I tell you a secret?

[Lyon] I have one too. A secret.

[ alternate pairings here (yu taeyul, bae nara) and here (ki sejung, hong seungan). ]

#일라이 #eli #노윤 #noh yun #박좌헌 #korean musicals #연뮤 #musical translations

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richincolor · 1 year ago

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Group Discussion: The Shadow Sister

Lily Meade’s debut novel was highly anticipated novel about sisters, missing girls, and some sort of curse. The perfect summer read and a perfect discussion book for us!

Publisher’s Summary: Sutton going missing is the worst thing to happen to Casey, to their family. She’s trying to help find her sister, but Casey is furious. And she can’t tell anyone about their argument before Sutton disappeared. Everyone paints a picture of Sutton’s perfection: the popular cheerleader with an entourage of friends, a doting boyfriend, and a limitless future. But Sutton manipulated everyone around her, even stole an heirloom bracelet from Casey. People don’t look for missing Black girls--or half-Black girls--without believing there is an angel to be saved.

When Sutton reappears, Casey knows she should be relieved. Except Sutton isn’t the same. She remembers nothing about while she was gone—or anything from her old life, including how she made Casey miserable. There’s something unsettling about the way she wants to spend time with Casey, the way she hums and watches her goldfish swim for hours.

What happened to Sutton? The more Casey starts uncovering her sister’s secrets, the more questions she has. Did she really know her sister? Why is no one talking about the other girls who have gone missing in their area? And what will it take to uncover the truth?

Warning! Spoilers ahead!

What did you think of the book overall?

K. Imani: I’m really not trying to spoil anything but when I reached the end of the novel I was confused because it just…ended. I was like “where is the rest of it?” I was thrown because I was really enjoying the novel, the relationships between Casey and Sutton, the mystery, etc and wasn’t ready to leave their world. I felt that there were so many layers to this story, so much more that could be explored, that this could have been a very powerful novel.

Crystal: I too was left shaking my head a bit at the end. It resolved all of a sudden, but we didn’t get to see a lot of the relationship development, healing, or growth that I was hoping for after the trauma. There was a lot more we could have seen and it left me wondering if it was meant to have a sequel. Overall though, I enjoyed it and really appreciated the relationships.

Audrey: I liked it quite a bit! It’s rather difficult to talk about the ending without giving major spoilers, so what I’ll say is that I calibrated my genre expectations away from the true crime/mystery end of the genre spectrum fairly early on in the novel. (In other words, I started suspecting we’d have an open, ambiguous, or even downer ending.) With that framework in mind, I feel like the ending worked for the genres in play, and while I might have enjoyed a longer denouement, it wasn’t necessary. THE SHADOW SISTER was the kind of book that needed to end on a striking set piece after all the previous build up, and I think it was a solid way to finish.

Jessica: Not to echo everyone, but I totally feel that and agree with you all! The story was so compelling that it definitely left me wanting more at the end. At the same time, I can completely see what Audrey is saying about calibrating genre expectations and how the build-up led necessarily to that particular ending. It certainly made me excited to read more from Meade!

I know we all have sisters and the overarching theme of this novel was Casey’s and Sutton’s relationship. In what way or ways did the portrayal of their relationship sit with you?

K. Imani: My sister and I are close in age much like Casey and Sutton and it reminded me of our teenage years where we did most of our fighting. As friendships became more important we drifted a bit and that was the source of our tension and I saw much of that reflected in Casey and Sutton’s relationship. I feel it was further added by the way their mother showed her preference for Sutton because she was lighter than Casey (but that is a whole other conversation). For me though, despite their antagonizing relationship, there was still love there. Casey was very gentle with her strange sister and worried about her recovery. I like that Meade included some chapters from Sutton’s POV because it gave us a more complete version of their relationship and showed that there was a chance that if they just communicated better they could become close again.

Crystal: Family relationships can be incredibly complex in spite of sharing genes, surroundings, events, and so much. It has always boggled my mind a bit how even in the same home, my sister and I have such different world views and ways of interacting with others. With Casey and Sutton we see this play out. Sometimes it takes distance to see someone more clearly. Here they have had a trauma, but also some space and time to give them some perspective. Casey definitely believes that she knows Sutton, but it is fascinating to watch Casey begin to understand her sister in a different way. I appreciated this, but especially at the end I wished for a little more from Sutton’s perspective.

Audrey: One of the things that struck me was how quickly and angrily I was on Casey’s side at the start of the novel—and then how that anger slowly drained away as we got more Sutton POV chapters and went further back into the past to see what was happening on the other side of their sisterly relationship and how it had changed. It was—eerie, unnerving, how Sutton returned basically a stranger, and how much Casey didn’t know how to deal with that. Watching their new relationship form in the shadow of their previous animosity was really interesting to me.

Jessica: Sutton’s POV chapters were so important! It was honestly incredible to feel my own perception of the situation shift as I kept reading and the story unfolded. I’m quite close with my sister and we haven’t ever had an antagonistic relationship, so this was actually quite a change of pace for me. But the complex ties of family certainly resonated with me – and agree – there was love there.

Casey is sometimes very unlikeable and is an unreliable narrator. How did her version of events between her and Sutton affect your reading?

K. Imani: Having Casey be both at times unlikeable and also unreliable is what drew me to her. Her feelings towards her sister greatly clouded her reaction to when her sister returned and why she was so suspicious in the first place. Her parents and others didn’t see it, but this version of Sutton that Casey had in her head is what drove the story forward. The conflict that Casey carried by being both moved and repulsed by her sister really showed the complexities of their relationship and ultimately led to the truth being revealed.

Crystal: Perhaps this speaks to the often rocky childhood relationship I had with my younger sister, but I found Casey to be believable and related with her quite a bit. My sister and I were very antagonistic in our younger years and only as adults began to see each other without so much blocking our vision of each other. I was surprised to see the word unlikeable in the question so maybe I connected to her a little too much.

Audrey: With Casey as the narrator, it was really easy to be on her side because she had such a flat view of Sutton at the start. On a meta level, I kept circling back to the idea that Casey only started to question her own perception of her sister once Sutton was—well, very obviously not herself anymore from everyone’s POV, including hers. Her own uncertainty about what she knew about Sutton was complicated by the fact that she had seen other sides to Sutton that no one else had or would admit to (the fighting, the cruelty). And even though I loved the Sutton POV chapters for how they revealed things, I’m not sure that Sutton was any more of a reliable narrator than Casey when it came to their relationship. I really liked that ambiguity and uncertainty in the story—it drove a lot of tension and suspenseful moments.

Jessica: I loved the nuance and complexity layered into the characterization of the sisters! I have a soft spot for characters who are unreliable narrators and imperfect people (aren’t we all?). It was so fascinating to see how Casey and Sutton evolved throughout the story. And I love drilling in on the whole idea of, well, the idea of someone. That the perception of who someone is that we build up in our head may not be accurate. So relevant and haunting!

The theme of family is strong in this novel, especially with Casey’s father being a historian and researching their family’s history. What part of Casey’s family story stuck with you the most?

K. Imani: I absolutely loved how Casey’s grandmother, Ma Remy, went about getting her family artifacts from the museum. I was so angry for her that the museum initially denied access to her own family documents that she had to go to extremes to getting it back. The way she snuck in to the reenactment and no one noticed…I laughed. Typical of people who say they mean well, but are just as racist. I thought her plan was genius and the fact that Casey’s father was embarrassed by it unnerved me. I got a sense of the force of the woman that Casey’s grandmother was from that one story alone and loved her for it.

Crystal: That sense of history and being connected through the years stuck with me. And yes, I loved Ma Remy and how she reclaimed their property. Also, she was so great at managing to make both Sutton and Casey feel special. They both had a strong bond with her that lasted beyond life. Her deep love for family and connection is passed down through the generations. It was also a hoot to see that her diary included a bit about her love life.

Jessica: I loved Casey’s grandmother! She really made such an impactful impression from that one story. Not to jump on board with you all, but she really stuck with me. Co-sign!

Audrey: Agreed, with all of you, plus I liked how the family history theme connected to the climax of the story and made that particular ending possible. Being able to learn about and claim your family history had power, and it was a delight to watch how that played out. It also gave hope to the idea that Casey and Sutton could reconcile someday, which was important to me as a reader.

Casey and Sutton’s mom was adamant about creating a perfect vision of Sutton so the police and the community would look for her because she is biracial. The story also contrasts this with mentioning the other two missing Black Girls.

K. Imani: I’m so glad this theme was prevalent in the story. Initially I was irritated that Casey and Sutton’s mom felt like they had to pretend Sutton was the perfect child, but I appreciated that the story focused on this theme because when Black girls go missing, it seems that society will only help out those whom they deem “perfect”. Showing the traumatic toll this takes on a family and highlighting how police treat missing Black girls really showed the injustice in our society.

Crystal: This was an important point that I too am glad was in the story. It shouldn’t be an angle that families need to focus on when they are trying to find their loved one, but that’s still where we are and the author acknowledges it openly.

Jessica: So glad you bring this up. Seeing the pain and the injustice in the book, and what Casey and Sutton’s mom felt like she had to do, really hit home. And as Crystal points out, this has been an ongoing issue in current events – and of course, past events. It’s so important that there are books like The Shadow Sister to highlight this terrible discrepancy to readers who might not be aware of it, and to acknowledge readers who are.

Audrey: Honestly, that plot line hurt, but I’m glad it was tackled upfront. The scene where Casey tried to look up information online about the other missing girls was heartbreaking, especially how she had to keep refining her search terms and still found barely anything. I couldn’t help but think at the end that so many other Black girls could have gone missing if Sutton hadn’t been taken when she did—she was lucky her family was in such a position that they could get that media coverage. But even after the media coverage for Sutton, that didn’t change the narrative for any of the other missing girls, which was awful to see.

Stories about sibling relationships (found siblings count!) are major themes in many YA novels. What are some of your favorite books and what book about siblings are you looking forward to?

K. Imani: I just finished reading My Week with Him by Joya Goffney which has a sweet sibling relationship (look for my review next week!). Brandy Colbert also writes siblings really well and I’m so looking forward to reading her newest book, The Blackwoods, which comes out in October.

Crystal: Warrior Girl Unearthed by Angeline Boulley, So Many Beginnings: A Little Women Remix by Bethany C. Morrow and Yolk by Mary H.K. Choi are some of the more recent books I’ve read that feature sister relationships. I think the sibling book I’m most looking forward to is Her Radiant Curse by Elizabeth Lim.

Jessica: Everyone Wants to Know by Kelly Loy Gilbert is a book centered around a family that I read recently and loved! I need to read My Week with Him and Her Radiant Curse – so those are on my TBR.

Audrey: Good question! I loved the sisters in She is a Haunting by Trang Thanh Tran and the sworn sisters in Strike the Zither by Joan He.

That’s our discussion. Have you read The Shadow Sister yet? What did you think? Share your thoughts in the comments.

#weneeddiversebooks #group discussion #young adult books #ya lit

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