#leave me alone and razzmatazz are gone...

[le-velo-pour-dru]

IDKHOW REMOVED A COUPLE MUSIC VIDEOS FROM THEIR CHANNEL :( I'M ACTUALLY SO SAD ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW 💔

[ticklish-sprout]

Wow, Language - JohnKat

Words: 991

"Karkat." John nudged the sleeping troll. "Karkat."

"Fuck off..." Karkat turned away from him with a growl.

"We have to go." He rolled his eyes when he hissed at him. "Come on." He received another hiss. "Are you even awake, Karkitty?" He poked his stomach, eliciting a shudder.

Oh.

"Wakey wakey, kitty cat." John reached under his shirt and scratched his bare stomach.

"Grr." Karkat squeaked out a laugh, then purred.

"Oh my god, you're kidding me." He traced his finger over where his belly button would be, grinning at the cute noises he made. He'd be furious if he woke up, so he backed away before that could happen.

"Why did you stop?" he asked, not opening his eyes.

"You're awake! God, I'm sorry! Please don't murder me!" John tried to shield himself. "Wait, you want me to keep going?"

"Did I fucking stutter?" Karkat snapped.

"Sorry, sorry." He reached over and began tracing circles across his gray skin. "Like this?"

"Y-yes." His body shook, arching up into his touch. "It-ahahahaha!" He grabbed his hand. "Tickles."

"I know!" John moved to stand up. "I didn't mean-"

"I said, 'keep going'." Karkat squealed as soon as he began the light touches again. "Johohohohon!"

"That's me!" he beamed. "I can't believe you like being tickled, this is too precious."

"Do nahahahat!" He barked out a laugh as he pinched near his grub scars. "Okay, mahahaybe!"

"Like I said, precious." John nuzzled his nose against his torso, making him squawk. "Does this tickle?" He smiled against his ribs.

"Yehehehes! Fuck, what are you doing?!" Karkat's eyes widened in panic as he looked down at his feet. "Not there!"

"Yes, there!" He blew a quick raspberry on his stomach (he totally did not scream) and flipped him over. "Hold real still!" He sat on his legs and pulled his feet off the bed.

"I'll literally kill you!" he shouted. "Don't you dare, Egbert! You'll be sorry!"

"I probably will be." John tapped his chin. "But not at the moment." He immediately went in for the kill by going after his toes. "They're so tiny!"

"FUHUHUHUHUCK!" Karkat grasped at the sheets, laughing hysterically. "JOHN!" He took a deep breath. "YOU MOTHERFUCKING ALMIGHTY DUNDERFUCK, STOP!"

"Wow." He actually did stop for a moment. "That's a new one."

"Shut up, douchemuffin! I can't think straight when you're doing that!" He gave him double middle fingers.

"Doing what, tickling you?" John smirked as he let out a soft whimper. "Does tickling you turn your brain into a gooey mess, Karkitty?"

"Do NOT call me-FUCK!" Karkat beat the bed with his fists as the tickling resumed. "FUHUHUHUHUHUHUCK, STAHAHAHAHAP! I HATE YOU, JOHOHOHOHOHN! I'LL PISS ON EVERYTHING YOHOHOHOHOHOU OWN!"

"Excessive much?" He shifted his arm so he could tickle both feet with both hands.

"FOR THE LOVE OF A SEEDFLAP-HUMPING NOOK-FONDLER, STOP!" He successfully launched him off the bed, then curled into a ball.

"That hurt." John sat up, rubbing his head.

"You were killing me!" Karkat shot back.

"You said you liked it!"

"Not when it's full-on torturing, you dumb fuck!"

"Oh, so just gentle?" He nudged up his shirt again and traced various shapes and words out.

"Yehehehes." He pushed his face down. "D-do the nuzzle thing."

"You didn't say 'please', but fine." John obeyed, sneaking in a few nibbles here and there.

"Ahahaha!" Karkat's toes curled slightly. "Shit!"

"Do you like this, Karkitty? Is it relaxing? Fun? What do you like about it?" He paused in his movements.

"I-I don't know." He looked deep in thought. "Crabdad and I were always fighting just to keep him calm, so maybe I'm touch-starved? I still loved him a lot." Red tears slid down his cheeks. "I really did."

"Aw, Karkat...don't cry." John brought him into a hug. "I'm here, it's okay."

"Th-thank you." Karkat buried his face into his shoulder. "It's hard talking about it." He looked up. "What about your lusus?"

"Dad?" His face dropped. "I loved him a lot, but then fucking Jack killed him and Rose's mom." He clenched his fists, anger flaring up in his stomach. "And I think they liked each other. They looked...happy."

"John." He covered his mouth. "I know. It hurts." His ears suddenly perked up. "Where's that stupid buck-toothed smile of yours?" He squeezed his hips.

"Eee! Ahahaha, no!" John shook his head, giggling loudly. "I'm smiling, I'm smiling!"

"Good." Karkat yelped as he pinned his wrists above his head. "Hey!"

"You'll pay for that!" He used the windy thing to tickle him everywhere he could think of.

"Egbert, I swehehehear to gog I WILL ENDYOUDAMMITNO! NOHOHOHOHOHOAHAHAHA! FUCK YOU AND YOU'RE STUPID CUTE FAHAHAHAHACE!" He flipped him off the best he could.

"Cute face, huh?" John let go, blushing so hard even his ears turned pink. "You think it's cute?"

"Fuck no, I couldn't think straight! Again!" Karkat crossed his arms and turned away. "It's not like I like you or anything."

"Like in what way? Karkat, I am not a homosexual." He bit his lip. "But...I am bi, so-"

"I don't know what that means and I don't care! I'm flushed for you, John Egbert!" He pushed him onto the floor. "Just leave me alone."

"Karkat." John stood up and looped his arms around him. "Could you, um, explain quadrants to me one more time? What does flush-"

"I love you," Karkat interrupted, "in that weird 'homo' thing you keep talking about. Whatever."

"Aw, I'm flushed for you too!" he laughed. "I'm so happy!"

"If you're fucking with me, I'll kill you!" His eyes softened. "But if you aren't, I'm happier than you are."

"Are not!"

"Are too!"

"Are not!"

"Are too!"

"Are-"

The door flung open, revealing an irritated Dave. "I'm trying to sleep, you lovebirds. Keep it in your pants." Then he was gone.

"...it's two in the afternoon," John said weakly.

"You're a bitchshitting tentsquatting razzmatazz of 'go fuck yourself in the ass'!" Karkat yelled after him.