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bookwyrminspiration · 2 years ago

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Ninjago is weird af. It's a kids Lego show (The first and only one to properly take off, the ones that came after it were cheap knock-offs and were somehow even weirder. Example: Lego Chima, Nexo knights. Nexo was just ninjago but with knights, instead.) That, I'm fairly certain, is still running. The original director and creator of the show left really recently, though, and the shows being left in the hands of new people.

It's obviously a kids show, but like, it could make some serious bucks as an anime tbh. Before the reboot (They changed the animation style after the movie, to make it more consistant? Idk, I didn't like it because the movie wasn't really a ninjago movie. All the characters personalities were fucked up and the show changed to be more like that. Though, I'm biased and prefer the og for nostalgia purposes.) One of the characters had the lesbian eye slit (A guy, btw. He's absolutely gay), one of them was autism coded (I felt it was handled well. Obviously not the best, but well for a kids show.) One of them had anime hair that would've been hell to animate, and this one had almost all the trauma. There's another one with daddy issues who had a whole coming out thing (He was coming out as a ninja but it was very similar to a coming out to a Homophobie parent speech), and one of them is literally the trauma

The run down of the Characters is like:

Kai- The anime protagonist. Dead parents, used to be the main character. Angsty. Distrustful. Angry. Is supposed to represent bravery. He started raising his sister when he was, like, five years old. He used to be a blacksmith. He's the fire guy.

Nya- The sister. The damsel in distress until she isn't. Mechanical mastermind. She's a perfectionist, she's sassy, she's The Girl™ character that you expect from a kids cartoon. I won't spoil who she is.

Jay- One of his first lines was hitting on Kai's sister after she got captured. Literally "Is she hot?" to Kai's face. Kai, like a sane person, told him to back off. Jay is the writers favourite. He gets the girl. His biggest trouble is that he was raised in a junkyard by his parents. He's the lightening guy.

Cole- His mom died. His dad is trying to remake his glory days. He's buff, level headed, and loves cake. He's the defacto leader. He has a scythe as a weapon. He's the earth guy

Zane- Is a massive nerd. He's lovable and he's friendly. He doesn't know much about social cue but he tries his best. He's very awkward. He's different from the rest of the team, but they love him none the less. His whole character arc is learning to be who he is, not being like everyone else. He's a brilliant cook with a cool falcon friend. He's the ice guy

Wu- The in sighting incident for the team. The son of God. Is a really old man who made a child army and is presented as a good guy. The first time you meet him is through him insulting Kai, the main character.

Garmadon- The big bad, he's dramatic. He's theatrical. He's lowkey silly. He's a babygirl. Despite being absent, he wants to be a good dad to his son, but his son is destined to fight him and he doesn't want to make that harder than it needs to be.

Lloyd- A little shit of a child, he is a true menace. Imagine Maui as a child. He's adorable. His biggest crime is stealing candy (And also releasing war criminals, but he didn't mean to so it's ok xx)

Pythor- The sexiest snake villain to be brought into TV. I'm no furry/scaly, but they gave him the sexy/deep/sultry British voice. They intended for that to be the desired effect.

Skales- Pythor's spiritual wife. They're divorced and married and they hate each other and love each other. Later on Skales gets an actual wife and they made her pink and gave her boobs to prove she's a girl lmfao

Sorry, I get suckled into brain rotting about this. It's the nostalgia lmfao

-Heathen

So much just happened at once I don't even know what to say. I'm listening attentively I just am at a loss for words. hey wait is ninjago just a combination of ninja lego. maybe that's super obvious but please understand this is the most I've thought about ninjago before in my entire life and that's not an exaggeration

i'm looking up things for a modicum of context and understanding, and when I looked up nexo knights a fucked up looking book popped up and now I'm thinking about it. what's he doing...why's he there..

anyway! please don't apologize! it's fun to hear people talk about things they're interested in or have significant knowledge about! lloyd is the one character I've heard about, but I couldn't actually tell you where from. I've watched one of the lego movies (the one with the everything is awesome song), but that was forever ago so no clue if he's in that. Also! I love autism coded characters! My mom recommended me a book series saying the main character...hang on I don't remember it exactly. Was said to have aspergers (not my favorite word but I'm referencing the author) as author's word of god? or is it that everyone just picks up on that when reading? whatever it is specifically, the character is at least very easily read as autistic. I haven't read the series myself yet, but I'm very curious to pick it up!

Villains always seem to have a higher baseline of intrigue than other characters, and also a high comorbidity of snakeliness (totally a word, ignore the red squiggle under it saying it's not. it's lying). but also you were right that wife can pink--I'm sorry i can't get over the snakes having human bodies. i understand this is a lego world but they have completely normal ass legs it's just their heads that are snakes. this is. i can't take this seriously that's hilarious

anyway! thank you very much for this plethora of information :). I feel like I have retained very very little of it, but it's still like a 700% increase from all prior knowledge I had of it. i still have no plans to watch any of it myself, but it's fun to hear people talk about things they like!

#ninjago #quil's queries #heathen nonsie #long post #i was never really a legos kid #now though. i think kits are hella cool #however that's not limited to legos #I just like buildable kits. where you make a thing #OH i actually have one I haven't made yet!#it's a bug!#which bug did I take I don't remember #my dad took some kind of beetle. rhinoceros? my mother took the praying mantis. my sister the bee. oh! i took the dragonfly #in honor of linh :)#i should finish that

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weirdhasanxiety · 1 year ago

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HELLO, LOOK WHOS DOING COSPLAY PLANNING IN THE MIDDLE OF FINALS

fucked up math on Friday, failing to study for physics, hence I’m trying to reboot my brain by letting it run wild researching 19th century Prussian infantry stuff because apparently all my costumes for Halloween these past few years have been army/militia uniforms???

I thrifted all my shit and I want to try sewing something cause I still have leftover fabric from the scarves for that les mis grantire cosplay and I think the colors match

This was supposed to be a doodle

God

And don’t mind the Chinese it’s just me being confused all the way

#hetalia world stars #art #drawing #cosplay planning #doodles #a hell lot of confusion #Prussia #hws Prussia #hetalia #hetalia axis powers #Prussian infantry #19th century #not historically accurate but I tried I guess

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spcrklings · 10 months ago

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🎬 just announced, ekam batra has been cast as charlie swan in the upcoming twilight reboot. the forty5 year old is trending as people are debating if the ducking out the stage door under an unbrella, a playful glint in ones eyes, an extra dry martini, patterned tuxedos, & singing in the shower that they are known for is enough to make them as good as original. a quick google search shows that their fans call them driven, but internet trolls think they’re more boisterous. i guess their newest interview for variety where they talk about how they can speak five languages will let people to know them better.

lil stats !

full name: ekam batra. nicknames: n/a. gender: non-binary. pronouns: he/they. orientation: pansexual / panromantic. parents: harjit batra ( father ) & harleen batra ( mother ) siblings: grette batra ( younger sister ) traits: driven, stubborn, boisterous & sanguine. theater roles: many ensemble roles pre ; fiyero ( wicked on broadway ; original cast ), enjolras ( les miserables on broadway ; not original cast ), macduff ( macbeth ; in england), marquis de lafayette / thomas jefferson ( hamilton on broadway ; not original cast )

lil bio !

nyc born and raised to a sweet young couple, who owned a book store in the bronx, ekam was always amongst the stacks and shelves. their parents had a penchant for the classics, something they passed on to ekam.

as a child the couple would always take ekam & grette to any and all theater and musical production that they could get to. off and on broadway.

it didn't take long for ekam to be completely enamored by the theatrics of it all. on his sixth birthday, vowing that they would make their way onto the stage even if it ' killed them '.

clearly he had the histrionics down. harjit & harleen wanted nothing but to foster the creativity and passion their child had and worked very hard to get him into the proper arts programs to facilitate success.

they didn't have much money to throw around, but luckily ekam did have natural & raw talent that got them scholarships to supplement.

at the ripe age of twenty2 after having plenty of small ensemble roles, ekam landed the role of fiyero in the original broadway cast & the rest was history.

theater is his love, performing in front of a crowd felt like he was on cloud nine. years of refining his craft and working on different productions, straight plays and musicals alike. the jump into screen acting was a bit bumpy.

acting on stage was over the top, dramatic, acting on screen, that was another story. though it was a challenge they took in stride, thrilled to push himself to new limits.

another, more separate dream of theirs was to start their own family. though settling down in the industry was never easy. a few relationships here and there that never stuck, until meeting francesca and falling completely head over heels for her and marrying the woman.

unfortunately the marriage didn't last, the pair both wanting different things. ending things amicably was the only option as ekam still had love for franny in their heart.

cast now as charlie swan in the new twilight reboot, ekam is excited to jump into the crazy world of stephanie meyer's creation and is interested to see how everything goes!

wcs !

WORK IN PROGRESS MY BRAIN IS FRIED :(

#2000s.intro #gonna add their tags to this post in a bit too hehe #｡° ekam batra : 「 isms ! 」#｡° ekam batra : 「 speaks ! 」#｡° ekam batra : 「 answers ! 」#｡° ekam batra : 「 visuals ! 」

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dramatic-dolphin · 2 years ago

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This did not happen today I just have time right now.

Horrifying Vodafone experience.

A man phones it right off the bat he tells me an identifying number that makes it easy to find his account, and that he wants to know hogy mennyivel tartozik 13/15 ezerrel?. Cool! Less work for me!

It's on his wife's name and he is not meghatalmazva. Should not be a problem he doesn't sound like a dick

Ask for wife to come to the phone and give the personal details you need hogy beengedjen a rendszer az felhasználóba.

The man, in a weirdly chipper tone that could be considered hysterical: bocsi nm tudom, meghalt szülésben!

Let's just say it absolutely killed my entire thought process so the next three seconds of my brain was

Emotional side: fuck it let's help him

Rational side: could be a scam

Me: error 404

Emotional side and rational side somehow unionizing: azzal az adattal találtad meg a felhasználóját amivel scammelhet and he is only asking for his tartozás this is not likely to be a scam

Me, rebooting: tudja a felesége adatait

He did indeed know them.

Anyways I told him that he has less than 7k forint tartozása és hogy vigyen be halotti bizonyítványt a Vodafoneba személyesen hogy rá tudják írni a szerződést because that's what you have to do if someone dies

Him, in a little more chipper still slightly hysterical tone: oké! Ha lesz időm, valamikor mert én vagyok otthon mert a baba túlélte!

Me, after he successfully froze my brain again because looking at the debt the baby is max 2 months old, looking a the email that we have on record and seeing that it's her wives: uram tudja a felesége emailjenek a jelszavát

Him, par másodperces gondolkodás után: igen be van a gépen automatikusan jelentkezve

Me: hatalmazza meg magát myvodafoneba amíg nem visz be halottit, kérem

Him, still too fucking chipper: oh!! Köszön��m jó ötlet

Anyways I started at my coffee for like a minute or two after he disconnected, because holy fuck.

(on an additional note. I could be fucked hogy beengedtem. Like minden hónapban van értékelés és hívás visszahallgatas és ha ezt veszik le I will automatically get a zero mert beengedtem. In that two minutes of staring I have decided that if they do indeed listen to this one, they are welcome to give me a zero. Truly i will happily look them in the eye and won't justify it!)

oh my god that poor man, that is. horrifying. jézusom basszus 😨 this is so sad, god

#jesus fuck

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thedivinefish · 5 months ago

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TGIWednesday: Why am I so tired?

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Imagine hearing this every day from someone... "I'm so tired!" 🥱 Even if your partner worked in a warehouse all day in the heat moving boxes and came home every day and told you how tired they were, you'd finally one day say ENOUGH! Let's do something about it! Here are some things to look at, test/fish out, explore and look into that could help! WATER💧would be #1 are you drinking enough?🥤, parasites, thyroid issues and any and all viruses can cause this. Are you getting enough B vitamins, real sleep 😴, eating clean and exercising for blood circulation🏃‍♀️‍➡️? These can be a few of the culprits. Circulation is key too, napping and sleeping looking out the window to be rescued is not enough! It is always up to you and your choices. You'll also want to check, if you're overwhelmed, exhausted mentally or physically as each category requires a different approach. Daily Yoga🧘, Tai Chi, Pilates, Qi Gong, hitting the gym can only help balance out your energy. Raising the consciousness level of your being can also make a huge difference and a special process is now available in our latest release Restore Point audio mp3 . Still perplexed? Get on my schedule asap and let's check in with Spirit to find a pathway to get you back on track, energized and fully engaged in life!

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These clearing statements can reset you back a restore point where you were energetically - prior to financial losses, bankruptcy, a bad divorce, job loss and so on! They are the perfect compliment to our newest Ethereal Restore Point MP3 release. *MUST ADD BOTH ITEMS TO CART TO RECEIVE FREE AT CHECKOUT

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~ ENERGIZE ME! ~

I believe, think, know and feel that I can become more energized as I read or hear this now! I am ready, willing and able to take all steps necessary to get out of feeling tired, lethargic and sad. I know when, where, how and why to take a holistic route to improving my life, my mood and my energy - and so it is. I am communicating in all languages and timelines. I know that a little daily progress will be the cause of the rest of my life being the best of my life!

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THURSDAY JUNE 27, 2024 4:00pm ET | 1:00pm PT | 10:00pm UK Pre-registration is $22 30 minutes live | Includes replay access 👉https://calendly.com/jmh-calls/7-wellsprings-mind-clearings

Call #2 Theme: Mind Clearings: Past/Present/Future

1) Past

I am releasing ________from my past

[would of, could of, should of, regrets, judgments, sadness, sorrow, loss of a loved one or pet. obsessive thoughts about how I would have done this or said that. Any and all things from the past that still tend to haunt me!

current overshadowing that is still with me from my past education, religion, politics or societal norms]

2) Present

I am now releasing________from my current/present.

[overthinking about how to make it through today. Sadness and sorrow about the world we live in, any issues with finances, debt, family, children/grandchildren, work job/career/ relatives and relationships any and all mental illness, OCD, ADD, ADHD, addictions Rx meds etc]

3) Future

Please release from my mind______

[overthinking about money and outliving what I have. Catastrophic health issues, things that keep me up at night, wars, the dark parade of the unimaginable, aging and hauntings/dark energies. And any other worry that comes into your awareness about the future]

SUBMISSION INSTRUCTIONS: After registration, submit your top 3 words/statements in the format above by Wed. the 26th to [email protected]

Be kind to our editors: please KEEP IT BRIEF :)

Come See Me in Tampa Office

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS

Jimmy Mack will be offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone’s office at Swann Holistic Health Solutions in Tampa. The next opportunity to book a session there is:

FRIDAY JULY 19TH | 10-4pm

Please call their office directly at ☎️ (813) 873-7773 in order to get on the schedule for 15-minutes $45 or 30-minutes $75. If you’re new to working with him, we suggest you schedule 30 minutes.

403 S. Habana Ave. Tampa, FL 33609 Just south of Azeele next to Skin Savvy

http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

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Watch and listen to hundreds of Radio Show replays for FREE here in the archives from the Jimmy Mack Healing Radio show.

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The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack Own this e-book so that you can read inspiration every day!

JUNE 19TH "Today I will consider the perspective of others I will not take on their drama, trauma, mystery, and intrigue. I will not buy into their rage or misplaced aggression. In the sea of calamity, I will remain calm."

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From the Fish Box

MY DAILY PRAYER TESTIMONIAL

Hi Jimmy, I really enjoyed the Zoom session on Thursday. And guess what, when doing my walking exercise today, I was able to go farther and stand straighter. I so appreciate you and your abilities and feel blessed that Spirit led me to you. Love and Light," - Cheryl

The Fish Market

Our online shop is getting a makeover! Get a preview now as you look over the 40+ audio titles in our MyBeliefWorks Audio Collections. Find a topic that addresses your issue(s) We had a lot of help downloading & channeling these over the years & they keep getting better and we are ALWAYS working on the next one. Don’t forget… you can share these with your immediate friends and family. 🏆 Best Sellers

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Your name will be added to a special VIP Prayer list where Jimmy will use his intelligent computer software, src4you which runs 24/7, to delete the negative and increase the strength of the positive creating a higher probability of favorable outcomes for you. Looking for a new job? Going through a court proceeding? Upcoming surgery scheduled for you or a loved one? Need help selling or buying a property? Troubled times in your relationship? These are just some of the life at the crossroads events that are ideal for My Daily Prayer program.

30 Days of Daily Prayer (single month) - $99/month This $99 service is for ONE SINGLE MONTH of 30 DAYS ONLY. 👉Click here After the 30 days, you will receive an email from Jimmy and have the opportunity to renew for an additional month plus update your list, but you are under no obligation.

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divinefishingtips · 5 months ago

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TGIWednesday: Why am I so tired?

TGIWednesday News

View Calendar First, Then Pay and Schedule 15 mins | 30 mins | 60 mins | Appointments

New MP3 Available Now!

Returning to Your Ethereal Restore Point Audio Processes

Includes multiple Audio Processes on a 23-minute MP3 w/PDF

Returning to the Restore Point of The Body

Returning to the Restore Point of The Mind

Releasing Unseen Interference

The Daily Float / 3-6-9 to 9-6-3

Assessing Your Reference Point on the Scale

Restore Point Clearings and Affirmations (7-min. MP3 loop)

Buy Restore Point - $49 USD

Get it now at the intro price of just $49 Claim this FREE BONUS with your order- a $25 value Cosmic Currency Clearings MP3

TGIWednesday Video Download

~ ENERGIZE ME! ~

▶️ Watch here on YouTube - Please Like 👍 and Subscribe 🔔

Next LIVE Zoom Event

THURSDAY JUNE 27, 2024 4:00pm ET | 1:00pm PT | 10:00pm UK Pre-registration is $22 30 minutes live | Includes replay access 👉https://calendly.com/jmh-calls/7-wellsprings-mind-clearings

Call #2 Theme: Mind Clearings: Past/Present/Future

1) Past

I am releasing ________from my past

current overshadowing that is still with me from my past education, religion, politics or societal norms]

2) Present

I am now releasing________from my current/present.

3) Future

Please release from my mind______

SUBMISSION INSTRUCTIONS: After registration, submit your top 3 words/statements in the format above by Wed. the 26th to [email protected]

Be kind to our editors: please KEEP IT BRIEF :)

Come See Me in Tampa Office

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS

Jimmy Mack will be offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone’s office at Swann Holistic Health Solutions in Tampa. The next opportunity to book a session there is:

FRIDAY JULY 19TH | 10-4pm

403 S. Habana Ave. Tampa, FL 33609 Just south of Azeele next to Skin Savvy

http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

FREE Live Appearances

Watch and listen to hundreds of Radio Show replays for FREE here in the archives from the Jimmy Mack Healing Radio show.

https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack Own this e-book so that you can read inspiration every day!

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

From the Fish Box

MY DAILY PRAYER TESTIMONIAL

The Fish Market

💸 The Prosperity Collection 🧘 The Body, Mind and Spirit Collection 🙂 The Improve Your Life Collection 💻 Access 50+ Videos in the Zoom Replay Collection

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers.

👉 PayPal for subscription Click here

👉 Use Stripe for subscription Click here.

*Anytime prior to your next scheduled payment within the 30 days, you can cancel or pause this service via email request.

---------------------------------

Could you use a private session? Are you feeling extra-crispy? If so, you can now Book Appointments... View Availability First, Then Pay 15 mins | 30 mins | 60 mins

Visit our Online Training Center "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish and you feed him for a lifetime" - Lao Tzu

Visit now, Click Here!

TGIFunny

Forward

-------------------------------------------------- TGIW newsletter managed by: Sandy Bidinger Digital Marketing Specialist at SMBeConnected Solutions www.sandybidinger.com

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365dailyaffirmations · 5 months ago

Text

TGIWednesday: Why am I so tired?

TGIWednesday News

View Calendar First, Then Pay and Schedule 15 mins | 30 mins | 60 mins | Appointments

New MP3 Available Now!

Returning to Your Ethereal Restore Point Audio Processes

Includes multiple Audio Processes on a 23-minute MP3 w/PDF

Returning to the Restore Point of The Body

Returning to the Restore Point of The Mind

Releasing Unseen Interference

The Daily Float / 3-6-9 to 9-6-3

Assessing Your Reference Point on the Scale

Restore Point Clearings and Affirmations (7-min. MP3 loop)

Buy Restore Point - $49 USD

Get it now at the intro price of just $49 Claim this FREE BONUS with your order- a $25 value Cosmic Currency Clearings MP3

TGIWednesday Video Download

~ ENERGIZE ME! ~

▶️ Watch here on YouTube - Please Like 👍 and Subscribe 🔔

Next LIVE Zoom Event

THURSDAY JUNE 27, 2024 4:00pm ET | 1:00pm PT | 10:00pm UK Pre-registration is $22 30 minutes live | Includes replay access 👉https://calendly.com/jmh-calls/7-wellsprings-mind-clearings

Call #2 Theme: Mind Clearings: Past/Present/Future

1) Past

I am releasing ________from my past

current overshadowing that is still with me from my past education, religion, politics or societal norms]

2) Present

I am now releasing________from my current/present.

3) Future

Please release from my mind______

SUBMISSION INSTRUCTIONS: After registration, submit your top 3 words/statements in the format above by Wed. the 26th to [email protected]

Be kind to our editors: please KEEP IT BRIEF :)

Come See Me in Tampa Office

SWANN HOLISTIC HEALTH SOLUTIONS

Jimmy Mack will be offering sessions at Dr. Charla Tempone’s office at Swann Holistic Health Solutions in Tampa. The next opportunity to book a session there is:

FRIDAY JULY 19TH | 10-4pm

403 S. Habana Ave. Tampa, FL 33609 Just south of Azeele next to Skin Savvy

http://www.ctholisticsolutions.com

FREE Live Appearances

Watch and listen to hundreds of Radio Show replays for FREE here in the archives from the Jimmy Mack Healing Radio show.

https://thejimmymackhealingshow.com/

Fish Food

The Daily Bread To Feed The Fish

Tell the Fish - 365 Daily Inspirations and Affirmations - by Jimmy Mack Own this e-book so that you can read inspiration every day!

**Can't See The Full Email? Click Here to View Online**

From the Fish Box

MY DAILY PRAYER TESTIMONIAL

The Fish Market

💸 The Prosperity Collection 🧘 The Body, Mind and Spirit Collection 🙂 The Improve Your Life Collection 💻 Access 50+ Videos in the Zoom Replay Collection

Receive 24/7 Prayers from Jimmy

You can add yourself and those living in your immediate household and yes you can include pets! Merely include everyone’s names and Jimmy will add them to his daily prayers.

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advancedthetapractitioner · 5 months ago

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TGIWednesday: Why am I so tired?

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agerefandom · 2 years ago

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All Agere Requests Open!

For a couple days, I’m opening all request types, so you can request:

one-shot fanfictions

headcanons

art

moodboards

paci/agere edits

DNI banners

After this, I will close writing and art requests for a while to catch up, but I will still be taking moodboard/edit requests!

Just a reminder that writing requests are not 100% guaranteed to be filled, and may depend on my motivation and my familiarity with the specific character(s) requested! Feel free to follow up on your request if you don’t see it coming out, I don’t mind.

Art, moodboards, and edits will definitely be completed, but they might take a while, as I have a busy inbox! (currently: 29 requests waiting)

Writing requests must come from my fandoms (see below ‘read more’), but art/moodboards/edits can come from any source, aside from youtube/bandom (including stage/content personas)!

Fandoms I Write For

The Adventure Zone (Balance/Amnesty) Animaniacs/Pinky and the Brain American Horror Story (seasons: house & asylum) Avatar: The Last Airbender Be More Chill (musical) Boku No Hero Academia/My Hero Academia (seasons 1-4) Calvin and Hobbes Castlevania (netflix seasons 1-2) Check Please! Critical Role (campaign 2: episodes 1-82, campaign 3: episodes 1-10) Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc (game 1) Death Note Deltarune Disney movies Doctor Who (9-13, some companions I know better than others) Doki Doki Literature Club Glee Good Omens Gravity Falls Hannibal Harry Potter Homestuck (original only) Hazbin Hotel (but not Helluva Boss) Heathers (movie/musical) The Magnus Archives (season 1-4) Marvel Cinematic Universe (pre-Infinity War era) The Mechanisms Les Misérables (book/musical) Night In The Woods Ouran High School Host Club Phantom of the Opera Rick and Morty (main family cast and Pocket Mortys only) Sandman Comics Sherlock (BBC, Robert Downey Jr, and originals) Skulduggery Pleasant Star Trek (Original Series/2009 reboot) Star Wars (episode I-IX) Steven Universe (haven’t watched Future) Supernatural (seasons 1-9) Twilight Undertale (includes horrortale, underfell, underswap, and swapfell, no other AUs) The Untamed Welcome To Night Vale (episodes 1-100) The X-Files (seasons 1-4) X-Men (movies)

#edits are currently a 0-1 day wait #art is 2-7 days #moodboards are 2-7 days #headcanons are 3-14 days #and fanfictions can take a month or more depending on energy #but they might also take less than a week #it's a roll of the dice!!!#fandom agere #requests open #blog update #sfw agere

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medea10 · 4 years ago

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My Review of Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba

How did I get into this anime? Actually, I’ve had interest in seeing this before it even aired in Japan. It’s just that when it came to picking animes for the spring 2019 line-up, aside from the Fruits Basket reboot, I was literally all thumbs here. Not that they were all bad, they just didn’t hold a candle to the crazy fandom of Demon Slayer.

Tanjiro Kamado’s life is forever changed when his entire family is slaughtered by a demon. The only survivor of that massacare was Tanjiro’s little sister, Nezuko. However, Nezuko wound up turning into a demon after trying to save her mother and younger siblings. Even though she turned into a demon, she still recognizes Tanjiro as her brother and refuses to eat or have harm come to him. Nezuko is a rare demon as she doesn’t feast upon humans, but sleeps to regain energy. Plus, she is told to treat humans as if they were her own family. After all these events, Tanjiro vows to become a “Demon Slayer” to prevent anyone else going through what he and Nezuko went through. Not only that, but find a way to reverse Nezuko’s demonic state so she can be human again.

Along the way, Tanjiro teams up with two other demon slayers. One is Zenitsu, a coward who’s afraid of every little thing when he’s awake. When asleep, he can slice through some demon ass. And the other is Inosuke, a screaming, idiot that wears a boar head and wields two swords. And that’s all I’m gonna say here!

The show is called Demon Slayer, a show about slaying demons.

BETWEEN THE SUB AND THE DUB: As of picking this up, several platforms including Crunchyroll, FUNimation, and Aniplex have picked this up streaming wise. Not only that, but Aniplex worked their asses off to get a dub so that Toonami could air this. As I’m always a sucker for watching English dubs, I wound up going through the entire series thanks to Toonami. Aniplex dubs are notoriously good and this one is no exception. They even managed to make Zenitsu tolerable (which is no easy feat). And then there’s…Oh no!

Uh-oh, Screamy McYellsALot is in this anime! I repeat, Screamy McYellsALot is in the main God-damned cast to this anime!

Yeah, if you don’t know already, that’s my nickname for Bryce Papenbrook. I don’t hate him and he doesn’t have that doornail in your brain sound that irritates you like Japanese Asta on Black Clover. It’s just that when you hear him play Eren Yeager, Rin Okumura, and Kirito all at the same time and all three boys are prone to screaming like they’re covered in fire-ants…you’ll see what I mean. Although, there seems to be a lot of screaming from the main cast. Especially when Tanjiro, Inosuke, and Zenitsu are fighting over something stupid! Here’s what you might recognize these folks from.

JAPANESE CAST:

*Tanjiro is played by Natsuki Hanae (known for Kaneki on Tokyo Ghoul, Kousei on Your Lie in April, Jaco on Dragon Ball Super, Rill on Black Clover, Takumi on Food Wars, and Mitsuboshi on Happy Sugar Life)

*Nezuko is played by Akari Kitou (known for Kotoko on In/Spectre, Aru on Hitoribocchi, Hiromi on ERASED, Yashiro on Toilet-Bound Hanako, and Kaho on Blend-S)

*Zenitsu is played by Hiro Shimono (known for Connie on Attack on Titan, Syo on UtaPri, Hiro on Ef – a tale of memories, Aoba on Durarara x2, Akihisa on Baka and Test, and Isidro on Berserk 2016)

*Inosuke is played by Yoshitsugu Matsuoka (known for Soma on Food Wars, Kirito on SAO, Ren on Shield Hero, Nakazawa on Madoka Magica, Natsuki on Rainbow Days, and Freed on High School DxD)

ENGLISH CAST:

*Tanjiro is played by Zach Aguilar (known for Genos on One Punch Man and Kou on Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure Pt. 4)

*Nezuko is played by Abby Trott (known for Young Poppo on Anohana and Hikari on Evangelion redub)

*Zenitsu is played by Aleks Le (known for Ake on Shield Hero)

*Inosuke is played by Bryce Papenbrook (known for Red on Pokemon Origins, Kirito on SAO, Rin on Blue Exorcist, Eren on Attack on Titan, Shirou on Fate/stay night UBW, Kida on Durarara, and Naegi on Danganronpa)

FAVORITE CHARACTER: Nezuko! Sweet little imouto! The cutest little sister the world has ever seen! Look at her run! She doesn’t even need to speak to be this cute. Her grunts are cute enough to make her second-best character of the series.

Yeah…I said “second best”.

I’m on Team Inosuke!

Don’t question it. Don’t crap on it! I’m on Team Screaming Boar-head! I can even get over hearing Screamy McYellsALot voicing him. I like my angry boar boy!

SHIPPING: I don’t believe there should be any kind of romance in this series. We’ve got more important issues at hand with demons on the loose. Especially a demon that resembles that of mid-80’s version Michael Jackson! So we don’t need a dorito-flavored head chasing skirts or lewding Nezuko…ZENITSU!

Don’t lewd the onee-chan!

Hmm…

I’m sort of rooting for this. I’m just gonna read some spoilers and make sure this doesn’t end in tragedy.

Well, regardless of tragedy or not, I like this.

SO…IS THIS ANIMATION THE MOST SPECTACULAR THING EVER?!: I’m not arguing Studio ufotable can’t do great work. They are fucking masters with this craft. And even before episode 19, this animation was pretty damn good. That episode where Tanjiro is fighting Kyogai (the demon with the drums in his body) was one of the most spectacular anime fights I had ever seen. The movement of the characters alongside the twists and turns you get with the room shifting just grabbed me. Studio ufotable can surprise you with in-anime fighting and the fact that this was their first shounen anime where fight scenes are inevitable, they excelled.

Episode 19 was just…wow. Okay, I can’t be an asshole about this. I loved this episode. I loved the story, the animation was just superb, and watching all of these characters channel their family when at their breaking points was just…high praise all around!

WITH THAT SAID…Easily a top 5 in best animation of the 2010’s.

Boo me if you must, but I will not be mowed down by the Demon Slayer or Bust movement. Animes made before 2019 exist too, you know. And I’m still on Team Violet Evergarden, so freakin’ eat me!

ENDING: Throughout the series, we see Tanjiro fight and kill off a lot of demons. And unlike your standard demon that has no heart and no fleshed-out backstory, these demons were once humans and were manipulated into becoming demons to help them live a little longer. Many of them live with the regret of turning into a demon just to prolong their inevitable deaths. And one of those prominent deaths was Rui, the demon who created a whole family of spider demons. But dude wasn’t born a spider-demon! He was a weak child on the brink of death…

And then Kibutsuji came along…

Yes, this guy again! The one that looks like Michael Jackson! That powerful-ass demon who seems to pose as a normal human with a wife and child! The one responsible for slaughtering Tanjiro’s entire family and turning Nezuko into a demon! This fucking guy right here! But enough of Kibutsuji! The ones who took out Rui and the rest of the spider clan were the Demon Killing Corp. But now that they’re all taken care of, they have a few questions about why Tanjiro (a demon slayer) is traveling with a demon. So Tanjiro must answer himself to the Demon Killing Corp. I will now read off their names in hilarious fashion from right to left.

We have Snake-boy, Scarface, Who the fuck ‘members you, Insect-Bitch, Fire-Crotch, Pokemon stole this design for upcoming expansion package, Fushigi Yugi knockoff, I can’t be bothered with your shit, and finally Johnny Yong Bosch!

Thankfully, the leader of the demon slayers (Ubayashiki) told them that Tanjiro and Nezuko are special cases and are to not be harmed or prosecuted. We then spend the next several episodes watching Inosuke, Zenitsu, and Tanjiro go through some physical therapy if you will. So don’t expect to see a last-episode showdown with Kibutsuji. Although, that is not the last we will see of him in this series!

In the final episode, we get a flashback of what happened after Rui’s death. Kibutsuji kinda went on a bit of a violent rampage with his underlings and slaughtered a good chunk of them. But he spared one of these demons and by the looks of a certain movie trailer, we’re in for a good thriller on the train. So…

…

…What the crispy Jesus happened to Kibutsuji? When I see him dressed like a woman and THAT voice comes out, I’m thrown off that I couldn’t focus on him slaughtering his underlings. Damn!

Tanjiro and the others are all healed up and are ready to head out for their next mission. This time, they’re going to be traveling on a train with fellow demon slayer, Fire-crotch (real name: Kyoujurou Rengoku). On their tails is one of Kibutsuji’s men. Coming up, Demon Slayer – Mugen Infinity Train!

October 2020, maybe, we don’t know! COVID is a bitch!

I liked this series. Where do I even begin with this? First of all, the animation is phenomenal. Then again, we’re talking about ufotable! Despite this not being a part of the Type Moon family like Garden of Sinners or Fate, this was a wonderful breakout for ufotable to flex those infinity budget accounts. God, the fights with Kyogai and Rui were just phenomenal that I was just blown away with the animation. Definitely in the top 3 of best animation of the 2010’s! Yeah, I said top 3!

Next, the characters! Tanjiro seems to be a different kind of main lead in a shounen anime. When it comes to many main characters in Tanjiro’s position, you see them lead on a path of revenge because of what was taken from them. Yes, that’s a jab at Eren Yeager. Don’t at me! Tanjiro became a demon slayer to prevent anyone else to suffer the same way him and his sister did ever again and to hopefully one day return his sister to being a human. Not just that, but after slaying a demon he prays for their peace in the afterlife. He takes no joy in prancing around in their blood despite their many kill-counts.

Then we have the music! The BGM for each of the fights, all those special songs from episode 19, sheer perfection for a series like this! Then we have artist LiSA doing most of the songs heard. In the past decade, I was just okay with her music. I didn’t hate them or anything, I would just recognize her voice when she would sing for Angel Beats or Sword Art Online. But damn, 2019 was just her year!

I give my full recommendation for Demon Slayer. I have high hopes for this one as long as it continues to stay under the careful guidance of ufotable and Aniplex. And with the manga gearing up for a close, I hope for a graceful ending anime wise in the coming years.

If you would like to watch Demon Slayer, all of the episodes are available to stream on Crunchyroll and all the dubbed episodes are now available through Toonami on Adult Swim.

Okay, now that Demon Slayer is done (for now), let’s roll the die and watch our next Aniplex of America anime.

Haruhi Suzumiya.

Eat my ass, I’m not re-reviewing that.

Haruhi Suzumiya.

Fuck off. Besides, that’s not even an Aniplex anime!

Okay, okay. How about an anime that involves a girl wearing a bunny girl costume and is not named Haruhi Suzumiya?

Rascal Does Not Dream About Bunny Girl Senpai?

What light novel publication did you crawl out of to have a ridunkulous title like that?

#anime review #demon slayer #kimetsu no yaiba #tanjirou kamado #nezuko kamado #inosuke hashibira #muzan kibutsuji

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gothamdetected-a · 5 years ago

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multiverse.

i know what you’re thinking. sim are you absolutely fucking insane, don’t even TRY to tackle this one. you’re right i am insane. and yes i am still going to try and tackle a meta about DC multiverses HOWEVER, to give myself on shred of sanity on this treacherous journey, i will say that this is mainly going to be about the multiverse from a bruce perspective. this ride is a batman focused train i’m afraid. also i want to state that this is by no means a perfect explanation – i’m a) trying to keep it simple and b) still am lost on parts of the timeline myself so. its what i can offer.

ok so, originally NCP, or the national comics publication (who will one day become DC), wrote their golden age heroes on an earth now designated as earth-2. in the 30s, just before the war, comic books absolutely exploded as a media format, and a bunch of companies all jumped the gun on creating superheroes. many of DCs most endearing and recognisable heroes were created all the way back then, however many of them also are not quite who you will recognise as the character today. hal jordan wasn’t green lantern, but was instead a man called alan scott, jay garrick was the flash instead of barry allen etc etc. don’t worry though! batman is still batman, and has been bruce wayne since 1939. earth-2 batman, as he will come to be known, is a bright kind of guy found on technicolour pages with a cute lil robin by his side – there is a reason for this. the war. literally NCP said we cant be sending out dark and gritty comics to people dying in trenches so time to make it colourful and faintly ridiculous, and bruce wayne is a surprisingly optimistic guy for a man who watched his parents be slaughtered in front of him.

of course, by the 60s, NCP (who are also sort of known as NPP and really known by your average joe as superman-dc, based on their most successful comic runs) had realised their timelines were getting a bit squiggly for their golden age heroes, and most of them had been replaced out by their silver age counterparts anyway. so between 1961 and 1963, NCP start creating another “earth”, officially designated earth-1, which would become their main planet for all kinds of superhero shenanigans. the justice society of america becomes the justice league of america, and when you think of batman, you’re probably thinking of earth-1 batman. at least pre crisis. and, once they get taste for building whole new earths, we also get earth-3 (1964), or “opposite world”, where the good guys are bad guys, and batman is owlman and instead of the jla we have the crime syndicate of america.

so sim, what other earths did dc come up with? well, i literally refuse to list them all because it was a multiverse and they did not slow down, but the ones that are most important to me are earth-5 where the only hero to live on this planet is bruce wayne/batman, and earth-89 where lois marries bruce instead of clark ahAHAHHAA. but i can tell you that pre-crisis there are 91 designated earths, and basically it could have gone on forever. there was an earth-c minus, earth-124.1, an earth where everyone was reptiles, honestly it was a MESS. and therein lies the problem.

now i’ve just used the term “pre-crisis”. what’s that, sim? maybe you’re not very familiar with comics, or with the recent dctv version of said comics, and so i will endeavour to explain one of the most brain numbing storylines that spans DC. also known as a retcon. see all these earths with their own histories and heroes and well everything really was becoming very inconvenient and meant a lot of world jumping and who can interact with who and everything was getting like spaghetti because they couldn’t calm down on the earth-building. so DC (who are officially DC at this point, 1977 babeyy), specifically a guy called marv wolfman (coolest name ever) who was sick of so many earths, comes up with the bright idea that will later form into a comic run called crisis on infinite earths (1985-1986). it was a serious crossover event, really considered by many to be the first of its kind. it sold extremely well, boosting dc’s flagging sales against it’s biggest rival, marvel. and as for the plot, it’s a bit convoluted but essentially some bloke turns up and starts to destroy all these worlds, and it becomes a race between the heroes and villains as to who can save/conquer the remaining earths that are left. although there are crises before and after this specific run, pre-crisis basically always refers to this particular crisis event, as it really shaped DC for the next 30 years.

for a while the retcon does an okay job of keeping the number of earths low. there’s still some earths that are considered non-continuous floating around, but mainly there’s just earth-1, which is now a merger of the most important “earths” that existed pre-crisis, and a way for all of DCs heroes to now be in one place and interact with each other. other earths at this point include;

earth-23 (1986) – a small pocket dimension

earth-17 (1990) – we don’t talk about this. honestly spare yourself and. don’t look. its horrific.

earth-27 (1990) – a historically divergent planet with a hero actually called vegetable man.

earth-85 (1987) – a hodgepodge of post-crisis characters live here, chillin

earth-988 (1990) – superboy is the only hero in this universe

the antimatter universe – all of pre-crisis’ earth-3 villains, including owlman, get shoved here for later use when dc need a couple of villains to come back.

and for a while all is well. then comes DC elseworlds (1989). which. you know. i love. it gave me victorian batman. pirate batman. caveman batman. vampire batman. frankenstein batman. terrorist batman fighting against russian!superman. they even gave me marvel crossovers, with captain america meeting batman. it was a glorious time. technically elseworlds is not considered canon, ran outside of canon as a way for writers to explore those wacky kind of worlds lost to the crisis, which is dumb because some of the plot lines are both hilarious and incredible. but the numbers started to get ridiculous again. most elseworlds are named after the year that the plot takes place in, so we get earth-1889, earth-1938 etc, but even more of them just seem to have random designations. i think by the time they reached earth-5050 they sort of knew that theyd fucked up again. we’ve had zero hour, we’ve got hypertime and kingdom come, and besides, its been a while since they had a good crossover, so by the time 2005 rolls around its time for crisis pt 2 (because dc love to use the word crisis for crossovers) or as it’s officially known infinite crisis. infinite crisis has an even more confusing plot involving a bunch of slightly nuts versions of characters escaping a pocket dimension, earths being created and then merged, and a rogue ai which batman made and then has to destroy because his own creation becomes too powerful etc etc. the only good thing to come out of it was earth-0, or bizarro world, because bizarro & batzarro are my babies. don’t worry though, this new set of earths won’t last long either, as in 2008 DC conclude their trilogy of crises with final crisis that featured one of the most important events in batman’s history – darkseid “killing” him. yes the quotations are important. i’ll leave you to infer what they mean.

so 3 crises later and everything is still just as messy as they’ve ever been and there’s 60 years worth of comic history being tangled about, and marvel had already established a very successful reboot in 2000, and anything marvel do, we can do better, so DC do their first, full and proper reboot. unlike retcons before it, which is where they retroactively try to fix what people already know and simplify timelines & earths, this is like someone shaking the etch-a-sketch and starting fresh. back in infinite crisis an arbitrary number was assigned to how many “earths” there could be – 52. and so in 2011, DC go hey that’s neat and create what becomes known as the new- or nu-52. heroes are given shiny new backstories, everything is streamlined and wonderful, sales rise, DC has a clean slate to build off again.

ha.

yeah that doesn’t happen.

this reboot, also known as flashpoint, due to it being spawned from another big ol’ crossover of the same name, shows barry allen trapped in an alternate universe where everything is not quite right – his mother is alive, superman is nowhere to be found and he doesn’t have his powers. worst of all thomas wayne is batman. yeah, batman’s dad is batman. thanks DC, i hate it. reverse-flash has tried to change history and stop the jla from ever being formed – le gasp. barry goes to fix it, merges three universes together – earth-0, which isn’t a bizarro world but now the “main" earth, also called new earth or prime earth (DC), earth-13 (vertigo) and earth-50 (wildstorm), but also causes 10 years to be “lost” to these characters. there are now 52 brand spanking new earths, each sitting in their own universe as part of the multiverse. no one remembers anything except barry. even for a reboot and convergence of DC’s franchises, it’s messy as fuck. and it goes to shit very very quickly. people don’t really like n-52. DC have cancelled everything, certain characters such as cassandra cain-wayne are fucking ERASED from existence, no one likes the new costume designs, its an absolute shit show and the plots get very confusing very quickly.

so what do DC do?

they reboot again. sigh.

only 5 years after the mess of nu-52, they produce DC rebirth, a new relaunch of all their famous runs. brainiac does some magic and collects a bunch of worlds together and magically we’re all going to forget the last 5 years of comic hell. it is a reboot to retcon flashpoint as though that never happened. yes, DC are actually retconning their own reboots. talk about sweeping it under the carpet. technically “rebirth” only ran for a year as a promotional thing for the reboot, before joining with the larger, now-singular DC universe, however everyone still calls it rebirth because if we don’t give these things names it will get even more fucking confusing than it already is. rebirth also still has 52 universes making up the DC multiverse, just to make things even more simple and easy to understand (DC what is it with 52. why 52.) although lots of the earths in this multiverse have been re-designated – eg. pre-crisis earth-31 was home to an aged batman who fakes his death to go train a bunch of new vigilantes (the dark knight returns), and now 31 is an apocalyptic wasteland or some shite. a lot of these earths were re-designated during the flashpoint/nu-52 era, and even though rebirth was supposed to erase that, DC have decided never mind we’ll keep it. there’s also 7 mysteriously undesignated earths – ooh spooky, they definitely won’t feature in the next major crossover. also for a multiverse with 52 universes, they sure do have more than 52 : there’s the microverse, a bunch of universes collectively called “the sphere of the gods” where apokalips and like, literal heaven & hell exist, an innerverse???, dreamworld, limbo, DC are taking the piss they only said there were 52 earths but that means they can make as many other shitty dimensions and pocket-universes as they please apparently. don’t even get me started on the source wall. for the most part the writers just. don’t acknowledge this and stick to the main prime earth. for the most part. thanks for throwing thomas wayne as batman back into the mix, rebirth.

so that’s the last of it, right sim? eh, almost. it should have been the last of it, really. and then geoff johns couldn't keep his mouth shut and produced possibly the worst comic in recent history, if not ever, doomsday clock. now doomsday clock is a nightmare for an impossibly long list of reasons that i won’t get into here because this isn’t a rant about why i think doomsday clock is the worst thing to ever happen to dc (although that’s a catchy title i should use that some day) - no, the reason i bring up doomsday clock is because. oh my god even saying this makes me sad. doomsday clock proves that the pre-crisis universes still exist and are still out there. somewhere. canonically. sim why is that sad i thought you liked everything pre-52. it’s sad because it means at any point now, DC could bring them back, ruin their own legacy, make everything even more confusing than it already is. i love pre-52 stuff but you gotta leave it alone. currently doomsday clock has only established that these universes exist as a way to honour every era of superman, because DC didn’t want to completly erase some of the incredible work and storylines put into him as a character. fine, fair enough. but it does leave the possibility that they will try and return to them too. comic book writers love doing funky story lines like that. they think they need to write something that’s never been done before and instead of coming up with something actually unique, they just poke around in the multiverse WHICH IS HOW WE ENDED UP WITH THIS AS A PROBLEM IN THE FIRST PLACE.

ahem.

hopefully this helped clarify some stuff for people, especially those folks who aren’t big comic fans/expereience dc through the DCEU or DCTV, when encountering rpers who say they base their characterisation off of, for example pre-n52/flashpoint comics, like myself.

oh, and thank you for coming to my ted sim talk.

#i dont know if i can put this as a meta #its just me ranting again #hm #\system\directory\hidden.txt ›› META #long post /

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sssshhhthefilmsabouttostart · 5 years ago

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The best and worst films of 2019

It was of the general consensus that 2019 was a truly amazing year for cinema, with audiences treated to a wide and impressive array of films. As usual, the year produced a number of sure bets from both well known directors and arthouse favourites, but it also treated cinemagoers to some truly unexpected treats from the cinematic mainstream.

Having watched just over 100 films (released in Australia), those that made this year’s ‘best list’ have been selected on the basis of the lasting impression they have left on this viewer after the lights have come up and the curtain’s been drawn.

So, what succeeded and what failed?

Ladies and gentlemen, may we please offer for your consideration…

50. READY OR NOT

49. GLASS

48. HAL (DOCUMENTARY)

47. STUDIO 54 (DOCUMENTARY)

46. HOTEL MUMBAI

45. THE HOUSE THAT JACK BUILT

44. CRAWL

43. MISSING LINK

42. SCARY STORIES TO TELL IN THE DARK

41. THE CLOVEHITCH KILLER

40. BURNING

39. AVENGEMENT

38. YESTERDAY

37. THE SISTERS BROTHERS

36. BRIGHTBURN

35. FIGHTING WITH MY FAMILY

34. HAIL, SATAN (DOCUMENTARY)

33. VELVET BUZZSAW

32. COLD PURSUIT

31. STAR WARS: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER

30. SPIDER-MAN: FAR FROM HOME

29. BEN IS BACK

28. THUNDER ROAD

27. THE REPORT

26. TOY STORY 4

25. MID 90′S

24. LAST BREATH (DOCUMENTARY)

23. VOX LUX

22. GLORIA BELL

21. THE FAREWELL

20. SHAZAM

19. FREE SOLO (DOCUMENTARY)

18. KNIVES OUT

17. BOOKSMART

16. DRAGGED ACROSS CONCRETE

15. US

14. ROCKETMAN

13. AD ASTRA

12. JOJO RABBIT

11. MIDSOMMAR

10. APOLLO 11 (DOCUMENTARY)

Though this outstanding assemblage of archival footage about the 1969 Apollo 11 moon landing featured no narration, interviews or analysis, director Todd Douglas Miller successfully managed to create an amazingly beautiful and surreal experience about one of humanities greatest achievements. Featuring never-before-seen footage of both the launch and the mission itself, ‘Apollo 11′ was as thrilling as any sci-fi and eye-wateringly beautiful to behold.

9. EIGHTH GRADE

It was an impressive year for many ‘coming-of-age’ films (‘Booksmart,’ ‘Good Boys,’ ‘Mid 90′s’) but it was writer-director Bo Burnham’s poignant and sensitive exploration of the challenges of early adolescence in the age of social media that really resonated. Focusing on the socially awkward Kayla - played with exquisite, jittery control by teen actor Elsie Fisher - ‘Eighth Grade’ was a thoughtful observation on the universal truths of growing up in the modern age.

8. FORD V FERRARI

With director James Mangold at the wheel, ‘Ford V Ferrari’ was a highly enjoyable sports car racing movie that left audiences with a lasting and highly satisfying impression all the way to the finish line. Based on the rivalry between the car manufacturers Ford and Ferrari in their pursuit to win the 24 hour Le Mans sports car race in 1966, ‘Ford V Ferrari’ featured heart-pounding racing sequences and impeccable performances from Matt Damon & Christian Bale.

7. THE NIGHTINGALE

Though not a horror film in the strictest definition of the term, you were less likely to find a more horrific cinematic experience this year than Australian director/writer Jennifer Kent’s 'The Nightingale.’ Kent's follow up to her critically acclaimed debut ‘The Babadook' was an extremely unsettling and bleak revenge tale, that relentlessly beat the audience with its unflinching violence and depictions of cruel racism.

6. AVENGERS: ENDGAME

"Part of the journey is the end...” A cathartic and satisfying experience for all MCU fans worldwide, 'Avengers: Endgame' was everything we needed and more than we deserved. Full of callbacks and emotional pay-offs 10+ years in the making, ‘Avengers: Endgame' was a thrilling conclusion and a deeply emotional exploration of loss and love, duty and honour, friendship and family. Just remember to lean into the tears.

5. JOKER

Whether you ended up either loving or hating ‘Joker,’ there was no denying that the landscape of cinematic comic book adaptations had been changed forever. Drawing inspiration from Martin Scorsese’s ‘Taxi Driver’ and ‘The King of Comedy’ and featuring Joaquin Phoenix’s magnificently dedicated and exhaustive performance, ‘Joker’ was a truly outstanding cinematic achievement that would be discussed and debated for many years to come.

4. THE IRISHMAN

A magisterial entry in his long and masterful career, Martin Scorsese’s violent yet poignant crime epic featured flawless performances from a stellar ensemble cast (De Niro, Pacino, Pesci, Keitel). With a script that was nothing short of a master work, coupled with an intricate production design and stylish cinematography, ‘The Irishman’ felt like an apt end point for Scorsese’s fascination in narratives detailing the ultimate price that comes from a life of sin.

3. PARASITE

Renown South Korean filmmaker Bong Joon-ho already had an impeccable track record (’The Host,’ ‘Snowpiercer,’ ‘Okja’) but really stepped up his game with this brilliant and powerfully revealing social satire. An intricate look at modern-day social hierarchies, ‘Parasite’ kept flipping audience expectations with its radical shifts in tone - from clever comedy to violent, dark tragedy - whilst delivering some brilliant thematic elements.

2. MARRIAGE STORY

Writer-director Noah Baumbach’s drama about the pain of the divorce process was a phenomenally crafted piece of cinema. A tragic tale amplified by both Baumbach’s screenwriting genius and tour-de-force performances from Adam Driver and Scarlett Johansson, ‘Marriage Story’ highlighted the struggles of an everyday situation and the real efforts to maintain it, leaving audiences with heavy hearts and thoughts.

1. ONCE UPON A TIME...IN HOLLYWOOD

Set against the backdrop of Hollywood’s changing of the guard and the looming large presence of the Manson Family, ‘Once Upon A Time...in Hollywood’ was a melancholy, slow burning, comedic love letter to a filmmaking era long gone, and easily one of Quentin Tarantino’s best films.

As a wonderfully painted portrait of 1969 Hollywood, Tarantino delivered something truly special - a cinematic opus featuring so many film references, both obscure and in your face, that it was an absolute delight for cinephiles everywhere to luxuriate in the sights and sounds of this historical fantasy.

Leonardo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt delivered the most emotionally vulnerable performances of their careers as soon-to-be has-beens, whilst the film’s vibrant production and costume design and playful soundtrack perfectly captured a snapshot of a special place and time in film history.

If Tarantino is still adamant to call it quits on his directing career after his next movie, ‘Once Upon A Time...in Hollywood’ was a timely reminder that we should all definitely try to enjoy the filmmaker whilst we still can.

...AND NOW, THE WORST!

20. UNDER THE SILVER LAKE

19. THE MULE

18. STUBER

17. AT ETERNITY’S GATE

16. IT: CHAPTER 2

15. THE BANANA SPLITS MOVIE

14. HAPPY DEATH DAY 2U

13. ALADDIN

12. ANGEL HAS FALLEN

11. TERMINATOR: DARK FATE

10. CAPTIVE STATE

Director Rupert Wyatt, the brains behind the effective ‘Rise of the Planet of the Apes’ reboot, easily delivered one of the worst sci-fi films of the year. Despite a premise filled with potential and talent both in front of and behind the screen, ‘Captive State’ was a major disappointment. The screenplay (co-written by Wyatt) was an epic mess of confusion that lacked both a compelling narrative and characters to hold it together, resulting in a huge misstep for all involved.

9. RAMBO: LAST BLOOD

It’s ironic a film franchise that started out telling the sad story of a man trying to show an uncaring world he was still a human being should have its final chapter demonstrate the exact opposite. This much touted ‘final entry’ in the Rambo saga was a deeply unpleasant and unnecessary exercise that featured little wit, inventiveness or originality. The character of John Rambo deserved a better swan song than ‘Rambo: Last Blood,’ and so did we.

8. GEMINI MAN

Directed by Ang Lee and starring Will Smith as a government assassin facing off against a clone of his younger self, ‘Gemini Man’ was an empty and tiresome thriller dressed up in a lot of fancy tech, and Smith’s biggest box office flop since ‘Wild, Wild West.’ Despite costing $138 million to produce, all the Hollywood SFX wizardry in the world couldn’t excuse a lifeless picture, with the final result nothing more than a bland action clone.

7. THE LION KING

Soulless was how best to describe Disney's shot-for-shot live action version of the 1994 animated classic. The core failure of this latest incarnation of 'The Lion King' was the studio’s inexplicable choice to go fully photorealistic with the animation. The animal characters may have all been zoologically accurate, but there was absolutely zero expression or emotion conveyed in their faces (let alone the voice talent). Sadly, ‘The Lion King' was nothing more than a cash grab that relied heavily on the nostalgia and success of the original,

6. WELCOME TO MARWEN

Robert Zemeckis, the director behind such cinematic gems as ‘Forrest Gump,’ ‘Back to the Future’ and ‘Cast Away,’ was also responsible for this woeful and misguided outing. Despite being based on the true story of a man learning to cope with a terrible trauma through the power of art and imagination, ‘Welcome to Marwen’ focused its attention on the visuals of the story instead of its narrative. Our advice? Watch the original 2010 documentary ‘Marwencol.’

5. THE CURSE OF LA LLORONA

Let’s cut straight to the point - the reason Hollywood keeps making cheap, crappy horror films with little, if any, imagination is because they will always make their money back within the opening weekend. And ‘The Curse of La Llorona’ was a prime example of this, a formulaic slab of supernatural dirge destined to be forgotten by year’s end. Filled with jump scares, loud musical cues and devoid of any originality, horror fans deserved better than this.

4. MEN IN BLACK: INTERNATIONAL

Despite the box office success of the first ‘Men in Black’ film and its two well-received sequels, ‘Men in Black: International’ was a dull and dreadful reboot that severely tarnished the franchise. There were all sorts of bad things happening in this fourth film, but none were as unforgivable as wasting the talents of both Chris Hemsworth and Tessa Thomspon. You didn’t need your memory wiped after this one - the movie did it for you.

3. DARK PHOENIX

The ‘X-Men’ films have been less hit and more miss in recent times and, unfortunately for fans, ‘Dark Phoenix’ closed out the this once-great franchise in an extremely disappointing fashion. Suffering from extensive rewrites and reshoots to the point where not even the film's stars knew which characters they were playing, ‘Dark Phoenix’ was a far cry from the pitch-perfect conclusion James Mangold gave us with the vastly superior ‘Logan.’

2. HELLBOY

Director Neil Marshall’s bloody misfire of the ‘Hellboy’ franchise was a damned mess, undeserving of both your hard-earned money and your valuable time. The film’s storytelling was clumsy rather than clever, the atmosphere oppressive rather than immersive and the characters colourless rather than captivating. Try to imagine Guillermo del Toro’s original two movies, except without any spark, wit, fun, tension and excitement. Absolute hell, boy!

1. CATS

Don’t act as if you’re surprised by this year’s winner of worst film - ‘Cats’ was an epic misfire, deserving of the vitriol it received from critics everywhere (the furry community, however, LOVED IT).

From the initial spark of the thought that turning Andrew Lloyd Webber’s musical into a film would be a good idea, the project was doomed. With every single decision involved in this movie more baffling than the last, the biggest and most fundamental problems were the concept design of the cats themselves and there being absolutely no semblance of a plot.

Despite there being pussy galore, ‘Cats’ failed to capture any sense of spectacle or fun, and instead plodded through an inane, boring and predictable story that was used mostly as a platform for some big West End musical numbers and A-list cameos.

Watching your neighbour’s cat lick its own arse was far more enjoyable to behold than this cinematic disaster.

#the best and worst films of 2019

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idombledore · 5 years ago

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How to lose 30 kilos in 6 months and love every minute

Part 1 > Revelation in France Three years ago, my wife and I decided to call time on our marriage. It was a sombre final chat in the kitchen, sharing the last bottle we might ever share. We were sad but it made perfect sense. We’d tried. My wife said she’d move out down to her parent's house in the country and she asked me what I'd do, I picked something random from the top of my idiot head and said “Spain.” “Spain?” she said and “Spain” I repeated. No idea where it came from. Maybe I just wanted my departure to be more triumphant, a little more exciting than moving in with parents. Whenever we’d have a fight, that’s what she’d do. I'd run my consultancy for twenty odd years and over that twenty odd years, my role had evolved into taking clients to lunch, dinner, shows and spectacles. Nice if you can get it but it took its toll on my fitness. By the time I drove off to the Channel Tunnel, I was eighteen stone and I hadn't played a meaningful game of football in years. For some reason, a revelation always hits me a while after the event, more autopsy than eureka. Something that seemed so clear suddenly fogs up in deference to the new truth. Of course she was right, idiot. You always knew that. “If you can’t respect your own body,” she said. “How can anyone else?” And there it was. Respect your body. Respect your mind. Fitness. Breathe new air. Everything is going to change. If my automated blurting of “Spain” was taking me to Spain, then let it be Spain. I would return triumphant, slim, toned and sleek and everyone would say how awesome and happy and better-without-her I was. I was more than halfway from Calais, driving to a small French town called Île de Ré, an island off La Rochelle on the West Coast. I remember the exact spot because the signs had shown their first direction to Le Mans. From that sign, 300km shy of my target, facing three more driving hours, I lost a lump of time I can’t account for. The next thing I knew there were signs for La Roche Sur Yon. I remembered it from my planning stage because it was pretty close to where I was headed. The sat nav confirmed I was suddenly only an hour from Ile de Rey in what seemed like a blink. I couldn't tell you why it happened and I have no idea what, if anything, I was thinking in the missing time. What I can tell you is the clarity on the other side. My new start. My new energy. My mission. Maybe the universe had supplanted a new person into me. Maybe it took me time to reboot. It felt like it. At that moment, I couldn’t possibly have imagined anything else. I’d booked a little room overlooking the harbour at Le Colonnes. I was soon checked in and I unloaded laptop and cables to start the mission I hadn't quite fleshed out yet. 6 foot 1. 18 stone. I fumbled my finger over the Body Mass Index chart, into the blue, sailing past green and into the orange, and just before getting into the red, there it was. My number. My target. 32. I was actually clinically obese. I needed to be 24 to fit into that little green zone of health and fitness. 25% of my bodyweight was surplus. This was a holy **** moment as I pulled back from the screen. I closed the laptop and swore foulness on that 25%. My mission had shown its numbers and my plan had started. That night would be the finest French cuisine a man can enjoy and the next day, everything would change. Part 2 > Mission Planning I woke up remembering Le Skipper in the harbour, the fillet steak with crushed pea purée and dauphinoise potatoes that would serve as my turning point.Something I wouldn’t deserve again until my mission was accomplished. I was still buzzed. Normally, revelations are flushed with the first order of the day but not this one. The morning after a revelation is a test of human willpower. If you fold at such an early point, there is literally no hope for you. If the stakes are this important and you fold, you, my son, are an idiot. As one lady said to me more than once, “It’s not a rehearsal, boy.” I wasn't sure if I was still an idiot or not yet as all manners of sweet and savoury things greeted me in the breakfast room at the hotel. Bacon, eggs croissants, jam, cheeses and hams, but hang on, my eyes focused on something else, like they were being moved by another force. The fruit section. Normally I'd be starting a three course mini marathon under the guise of getting the day some energy. Today though, I took a little bowl and filled it to the top with melon and orange, mango, cherries and all colour of things and I sat down with orange juice and looked over at big people and little people, busy people and relaxed people. I knew I was on a different level to them, just for now, in the light still shining on me. Your willpower gets a serious shot in the arm. I had more research to do about the exact food groups I'd need but I knew this was right. Then the first glimmers of insubordination popped up briefly and reminded me that I had a fallback and that fallback was called lunch and every day I had a fallback plan to the next meal. Maybe fruit wasn't enough, surely a bit of bacon and cheese? No, fuck off, I said, turning a head or two in the dining room. I gestured an apology and then I smiled at the last cherry in my bowl. I munched that little cherry up. There would be no bacon or cheese. Those dark little glimmers were crushed and squished and left pleading as I got up and left the room. I was smiling as I approached Bordeaux. Today's destination was about six hours over the Pyrenees to Pamplona in northern Spain. This is where they do the bull run every July. Basque country, and the Bordeaux signs told me I was about a third of the way there. The night before had included two bottles of Fitou. Le Skipper was quiet and the staff had time to chat. After dinner, I was pretty much the only punter there so they wrapped it up and took me to Bar Kokot with their Austrian Rum. So, there hadn’t been time to do the work I needed but what a fine farewell to my old life. Yet another sign flashed my licence plate and said I was going too fast and I anticipated a box full of speeding tickets waiting for me whenever I got back to London. But I didn't care. I couldn't wait to get to Pamplona and get the laptop out, make my plan. A few hours later I was in my room at the Pamplona Catedral Hotel doing just that. I already knew how much weight to lose. Thirty kilos, almost 5 stone. One of the first results, I found out about the Okinawa diet. Okinawa, a little island off the south of Japan has the longest living humans on the planet. Taxi drivers are ninety years old and still dance. People eat whatever grows near them and that’s it. One photo I saw was of an elaborate table. You could sit about ten people round it. The table was a tea making machine. A few strips of bamboo were hooked up to an inlet and brought mountain spring water into the table. Most of the water would trickle out and continue down the mountain, unsure of why it had been put through the bother, but when you turned a little handle, the water would be diverted around a spaghetti of pipes and on towards the bowels of the table. It would slip and slide through channels lined with fresh tea leaves and elements gradually heating it up as it travelled. Turn one of the eight little taps under the table edge and you have a steaming cup of the freshest tea. So, the fine people from Okinawa told me how you could eat perfectly well and get everything a body needs. And you didn't need meat or anything processed to do it. My first culinary casualties. I also learned that my whole eating schedule had been wrong all my life. The best way to do it is to eat small but eat often. I'd been so proud of myself some days when I was too busy to eat anything and had six tons of dinner at about 9pm. Wrong. The body is a sensitive little baby. If it doesn't get fed often enough it throws its toys out the pram and truly believes it’s starving. It then converts what you do eat into fat, sensible storage for a rainy day when maybe you do starve. How a brain can fail to tell a body that it’s ok, no-one's going to starve is beyond me but apparently it does. So, by the time I'd showered and got ready to see what this former bastion of the Roman empire had going for it, I had successfully mapped out my new diet. And it was all the stuff I like to eat anyway. I'd start with some fruit, in deference to the first successful morning. Then give it a couple of hours and a little low fat cottage cheese on a wholewheat crispbread, and a few crushed walnuts sprinkled on it. Before what was probably the main mini meal of the day, about two o'clock, it was exercise. My wife’s brother had told me the body prefers to exercise then eat as it’s still burning, rather than the other way round. Maybe A little tuna steak with bok choy, a bit of spinach, greek yoghurt and some kidney beans or chickpeas. Amazing things chickpeas, fibre and protein all in one little pill. It wasn't a problem designing these mini meals, the problem was there was too much choice. If you're going to have pasta, have wholewheat pasta. If you're going to have rice, have wild rice or brown rice and not too much of either. Your 5 or 7 a day is so easy to achieve and better. Let your milk be zero fat milk, let your greens be asparagus, broccoli, kale, spinach, artichoke, sprouts and bok choy. Eat nuts, almonds, walnuts. Eat pulses. Kidney beans, chickpeas. Prefer fruits of the forest over others, raspberries, blackberries and the like. Loads of antioxidants. And let your booze be anything but beer, predominantly white wine and a glass of red a day comes straight from the doc. All the stuff I already knew. Lettuce, peppers, tomatoes, celery, onion, garlic. Jesus I could do a meal planner for a month without getting bored. This was going to be tasty. I could still love my food but carry that aloof grin that comes with a man shedding timber and having fun doing it. I'd know exactly how many calories came with each mini meal and how much exercise to do to burn them off. The laptop was closed up and my phone map and I set off to explore Pamplona. The city is called Iruna in the native Basque language and there was an ever-present but subtle show of the independence from Spain the Basque people had been after for a long time. Basque flags were draped over balconies and stuck on cars but a local told me, do not take a flag out in public or you’d get carted off. One local comedian had added a bit of graffiti to a low wall, poorly translated as “Anything but a free state is just a load of bulls.” Back in the hotel room, I tackled the exercise aspects. Swimming would always figure, especially in Spain, but what else? Running can be high impact, shin splints and the like. It would be rowing. It’s got everything, loads of muscles getting tickled gently, great cardio and hang on here we go, I can get a machine for the house for a couple of hundred euros. I'd join a kayak club or some such but winter was on its way and even the Spanish winter doesn't lend itself to being in the sea. And that was it, a meal for all moods and occasions and an all year round exercise regime. When it was too cold to swim, double up on the rowing. Just make sure you get in some form of water as soon as you finish exercising to loosen up your muscles. I also learned how little anyone should need a gym (apart from my little rowing machine of course). We really do have everything we need around the house. First of all, a running machine? What? Just run around the block. If you want to run uphill, run uphill. Muscle tone is also important. If you’re shedding tonnage, you want the tonnage that’s left nice and tight. Push ups, pull ups, weights, dips, pec toning, ab toning and your core. You can pull up on anything, a couple of chairs, backs together, get your balance and you’re away. Climb something. I'd start slow. An hour on the rowing machine, weights and core stuff and finally fifteen minutes of laps in the pool. It was all mapped out. That evening, I sat down in a little restaurant I’d spied earlier, down some steps to a little square, live jazz music in the middle. The menu didn’t have much of the stuff I needed and I’d definitely give the “grosse crevette” and “assaulted pasta” a swerve. I wondered if this would be a problem going forward. I remembered many menus and I wasn’t sure many of them were fit for my new purpose. But then I saw the celery and walnut salad. Fine, little glass of chablis to go along and everything was still on track. Part 3 > Execution The next day around four o'clock, I arrived at my final destination. A little town called Javea, a hundred kilometres south of Valencia. Look at Spain. There’s a little nose about two thirds down the east coast. Tip of that nose. That’s us, pressed against the sea by the mountains. It felt like its own little island. First priority after wandering around was the supermarket. Go get the super foods. My place was in Cabo la Nao right up on the point near the lighthouse. My mission hadn’t been created when I booked it, but with my new mission head on, the remoteness of my location would be a good thing. When I went outside to get back in my car, I was reminded it had just carried me from London to south east Spain. Over those 1800 miles, the front of the car had accumulated a second skin of unfortunate insects. Insects of all shapes, colours and sizes had become one single cloak of wonder food for any bird that took a fancy. And they did. A feeding frenzy was underway and even this one approaching human and a mystery cat that seemed to appear from nowhere couldn’t scare them off. They each had an allocated section of bodywork to pick at and they did well but still couldn’t get it all off. The earlier casualties were part bug, part Audi. The nearest supermarket was down in the Cala Blanca bit and was called Consum. It was the strangest supermarket shop I'd ever done. A hundred euros of good healthy stuff. I'd never put walnuts in a shopping cart. But I carried the same internal smugness of someone whose every passing minute is making them healthier than everyone else. It was a hot day and I knew if I didn't get it all fridged up quick smart, for the whole six months here, there would be a sea bass, salmon, octopus and monkfish essence in my car. The pool was warm enough not to have to thrash around like a perishing salmon and it was my first test of where I was fitness-wise. It was a fifteen metre pool. Breaststroke was the best all round stroke for what I was after so I took off up and down. I'd have to do this for at least 30 minutes every day so how close was I? I managed about 15 minutes and thought it was a good start for day one. My own salmon was ready to go under the grill and I was hungry. Baby steps. The house and garden had to provide me with my makeshift gym. Soon, I had two sturdy wooden outside chairs back to back for pull ups, a couple of buckets from the gardener’s shed filled with pool water. The rest would need no props. The push ups over there next to the pool and that little wall would do the ab stuff. Suspend myself on it and hold myself there for ten seconds, ten second break, repeat until knackered. I had a little go at all my disciplines. The props held up just fine and my routine was set. There was only one thing missing and it would be the majority of my cardio workout. The rowing machine. In five days time, it would be on my doorstep. I carried on with my eating regime and stepped up the swimming and workout aspects and on day five, the rowing machine arrived. It was lovely and orange and it went right where I hoped it would, between two columns on the terrace. Then I suddenly realised, apart from the supermarket on day one, I hadn't been out yet. The days had been formed around my mini meals and exercise and going out didn't sound as healthy as staying in. But I had to prove to myself I could carry on the mission in or out. That night, I did go out, met some nice folks, Lee and Tracey from Southend and a drummer called Hector, saw a band and drank white wine and had lubina a la plancha, grilled sea bass, asparagus and a few slices of grilled aubergine, every so slight drizzle of local honey. My taxi got me home at a reasonable hour and I got out without that heavy feeling I’d get when I went out back home. Always too much beer and always too much red meat. I took a quick stroll round my makeshift gym and my new rowing machine and then slept better than I had for ages. Tomorrow, a full programme for the first time. The rowing machine soon got me sweating. The readout was like trying to wish away the miles in the car, watching calorie after calorie clock away, minute after minute. The machine was fine, nice and easy, smooth strokes, keep your back straight. Pretty soon I'd done my hour and I took a break for water. The weights and pull up and everything else was becoming faster and I was doing more of them. By the time I got into the pool, I was feeling muscle burn and my heart felt reawoken. With the help of a great little tool called Supertracker, I had it all mapped out. Today I would eat 1200 calories and burn off 2000. And so it was for the next couple of weeks. The cats started popping in to see what this strange noise was an hour every day and soon they stuck around for some cheeky tuna and I had one or two pusscats to talk to while I worked out. The hour a day on the rower needed a bit more entertainment than the readout. By now I knew my pace and you just have to finish the hour come what may. Being in my own head was amusing enough but I needed a bit more autopilot. The laptop was enlisted to provide comedy shows and every so often, this Spanish course I was taking. The hour started to go by like the missing time I'd felt in La Roche Sur Yon. I was doing more miles to the hour, I was doing more laps in the pool and I was looking forward to every stage more and more. Pretty soon though, the pool became unswimmable so I got a wetsuit but that only really extended it a few weeks. My regime changed and I doubled up on the rowing. My daily meal plans were sometimes not planned, just cobble together the right food groups in the right quantities. Some of the taste combos were worth jotting down, others didn't really work but still, the scales in the bathroom were starting to show results. I'd got down to 100 kilos from 108 in the first 3 weeks. I couldn't believe the progress. I was never hungry, I felt great and the pounds were escaping with ease. I'd have this done in a few more weeks. I started a weight chart and logged as much as I could, something to be proud of. Then the rate of weight loss slowed. I checked the scales. How could doing exactly the same thing every day cause a different result? I changed the scales so that it seemed more of a dramatic reduction. A bit more research told me the scales were fine, the programme was fine. It’s just the first bit of weight drops off you because you're reducing your water retention. After that, you work just as hard for half the initial result. And don't forget, the programme is increasing muscle mass as well, which weighs more than fat. That's fine. So be it. This was the realistic rate. Months not weeks. And I was enjoying it. I was enjoying succeeding, winning. This wasn't so hard. A couple more weeks went past and still the pounds tumbled. Sometimes the reductions were erratic, same programme, 2 pounds off one day, half a pound off the next. I didn't really need to know why as long as the weight kept dropping. The thing was, I had been looking at myself in the full length mirror by the door every day after my workout before the shower and I still didn't look any different. I knew all the machinery and logic associated with my mission couldn’t all be wrong at the same time so I was pretty sure there would be a decent reason for it and so there was. What you’re doing initially is sorting out your core. That’s where you’re losing the initial weight and water. Your core is what’s getting beefed up and fit, out of sight. It made sense enough to a layman but you still like to see changes. And then it happened. My jeans had been feeling a little looser than normal for a few days and then I realised I needed the belt in another hole. There it was, the first sign. I couldn't confirm it from the mirror but this was incontrovertible. Maybe it was something psychosomatic in my head showing me something, but soon after that, I started to see some definition around my middle, not so much abs per se, just prepping the ground for them. The pounds kept shedding off my weight chart. I will freely admit, I did have one or two blowouts, the need for a kebab and a cold beer, and I knew the numbers would show it, but I was now not actually fitting into trousers and shorts and some shirts looked like nightdresses. I needed healthy persons clothes. I have never felt so happy about an impending cost. I looked good, like I did in my 30s. By the time four months had passed, my target of 80 kilos remained and I was only a couple off at 82. I had two months to drop that and I knew I would. I looked at photos of me in london 6 months before and it was incredible. I looked like a different person altogether. I looked tired, heavy, dreading the next flight of stairs. Warning. This is a pivotal moment. When you’re ahead of the curve and bossing it, its easy to entertain the notion that you can ease off a bit. Physically, you’re probably right but don't do it. It changes your mindset from achieving something to already having achieved it but it’s not yet achieved. Rabbit and the hare. Achieve it first, then reward yourself with easing off. I hit my 80 kilos with five weeks to go and the next five weeks kept me there. It was done. I'd smashed the shit out that 25%. It was gone. I took off from Valencia and landed at Gatwick requiring second glances at my passport photo. Yes, folks that really is me, just an awful lot more of me. By the time I wandered down the street to the pub, I'd already decided I wasn’t going back to the UK for good. Spain was my home now. My mission, my new life was born on the French highways and realised in the Spanish mountains. I wasn't even really thinking of the reaction I’d get when I walked in. I didn’t need reactions. I knew what I’d done. Me and my water buckets, pussycats, rowing machines, the glorious island of Okinawa and singing, dancing Spain. The reaction was complete astonishment. Not just someone telling you you look well. This was holy **** across the board. My choice of a pink leather coat to mark the occasion drew its own conclusion but I was stronger and fitter and more vibrant in mind and body. And I looked it and we all knew it. Life’s new plateau had been reached with a simple regard for my own well being. A respect for my only asset. And it was simple, inspiring and very enjoyable.

#weight loss #fitness #exercise at home #okinawa diet #healthy eating #healthy living

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