#lawd what is happening am i turning into a jiaoqiu fan account .

[iceunhie]

head empty, thinking about jealous!jiaoqiu who purposefully puts ten times the spice in the food he presents to your admirer/s whenever they go and seek some of his eternally praised cuisine for a health benefit or something to heal their injuries. my petty king 🤩

with the few careless (and frankly, dense, because what in Lan's name did they think they were doing, cozying up to you in front of him) individuals who had the actual nerve to flirt with you right in front of jiaoqiu cooking, it doesn't bode well for them. at. all.

(the yaoqing receives a huge number of people who seem to have a) fainted b) fell ill c) couldn't taste anything afterwards.)

soon after, an unspoken policy is formed, warning any that ask for your hand.

if the healer jiaoqiu is in the vicinity, cease all closely intimate and casual actions with [name] at once.

if jiaoqiu sports a gentle, close eyed smile while preparing his concoctions, please prepare for an intense assault of spice. (note: smile with teeth showing indicates immense level of malice! we do not advise visiting jiaoqiu's services at said time.)

please do not attempt to flirt with healer jiaoqiu's lover; should you value your life.

-> the subject of this policy is a point of laughter for you and jiaoqiu (but mostly jiaoqiu) for a long, long time.

when you ask why he doesn't dispel the rumors of him accidentally poisoning people with spice, jiaoqiu smiles, hiding his gloat behind his fan. “it's more convenient that way.”

?????? what is happeningngh........ am i transforming into a jiaoqiu simp 😨😨