#laurel hid herself early on from the k5 because she had her kid to think about

[prismed-tears]

bro this show fucked me up okay it fucked me up BAD

like no one got away with murder— the actual murderers got killed off: bonnie, frank, who killed multiple people in cold blood (though i loved them to pieces too, honestly. even though they fucked up big, they were still very likable and i was rooting for them until the end.) asher, who arguably didnt have control over his actions, (again, i was ROOTING for him. he might have turned at the last second, but most of the time he was the purest character in the cast. and honestly, due to the circumstances, ergo him still being mad at annalise for kicking him out of the clinic when the k5 friend group was the only thing he had left, and him being left alone with his family who guilt tripped him into it. and hell, what asher did was the sanest decision so far, he wasn't actively trying to incriminate people, unlike michaela who made up stories on the stand, he was just trying to make them come clean. and the beauty of htagwm is that they make you hate him for it.) and wes, who did it one time out of self-defense. and he probably never meant to kill sam, he was probably just aiming to knock him out. (thats why the first murder would always be my favorite, it escalated quickly but at the perfect pace, it was an unfortunate set of circumstances that aggravated the whole situation rather quickly— but nobody wanted any of that to happen. but once it did, it pushed them to do even more horrible things. it was accidental, yes, but the fear and the things that they did after, ergo, chopping up sam's body into the disposal, really sealed the deal. htagwm never quite recaptured the magic of laurel, wes, and connor coming together to form a study group, meeting michaela who just wanted to turn in the trophy at the keating house, and suddenly they were wrestling an inebriated and angry sam who would have killed rebecca himself if the k5(-1) didn't stop him. but sam ended up dead at wes' hands instead, which forced the k5 to cover up the murder scene. and michaela nearly pissing her pants at the bonfire, connor finally losing it at oliver's doorstep— it was honestly the best murder. it was the sudden switch from normal college kids to co-conspirators to a murder, and the pace was just perfect too. i can NOT stress the pace perfectly enough.)

murderers aside, you can't really say it was a happy ending for the rest of the cast too. no one was truly innocent, they all tried to get away with murder— and it bit right back in their asses. the ending of annalise's trial? it was cruel, how they pit the remains of the k5 vs annalise&the adults. the whole web of murders really started with them, it was various murders committed by different members of the main gang that they covered up together. lila? frank. sam? k5(- asher), annalise helped cover it up. rebecca? bonnie. annalise and frank covered it up. sinclair&hapstalls? asher for sinclair, hapstall suicide, annalise & gang (reluctant k5, they only stayed quiet so the sam murder wouldnt get out) helped cover it up, it finally included asher into the murder gang. d.a. miller? nate or bonnie (it wasnt really clarified), but the gang (the k5 was much more willing this time) + annalise helped cover it up. in a strange way, the trauma and guilt bonded the main cast together. they showed moments of wholesomeness and sometimes, youd think that they were a stable "support system", but the finale proved that it was anything but. manipulation and fear from/for each other kept them together. and the way they turned on each other on the end to save themselves proved that.

michaela lied on the stand, she fabricated a story about wes and annalise sleeping together (that made me genuinely irritated at her for a hot second, but then again they've perjured worse), annalise's inner dialogue about michaela being ungrateful then serving her shit right back. annalise was able to dig up dirt about michaela in her cross, dirt from the time they spent together. its the same reason why michaela was such a valuable witness against annalise— because of the time they spent with each other, a relationship that could have been considered intimate was torn apart on that courtroom.

connor lied too, but annalise got into his head easier and he felt remorse soon after. laurel tried to lie, only to fess up at the last second and actually defend annalise.

i kept waiting for the k5 and annalise to reconcile at the very end. there was a chance when michaela and connor admitted to testifying against annalise, because they were afraid of annalise getting a life sentence. i was waiting for the moment where annalise had a plan all along, she would get michaela and connor out of those deals— but the extent of her genius got her out of a death sentence. which was karma, in a way. she sold out connor and michaela to save herself the way they did to her.

the ending of htagwm was tragic. annalise walked free, sure. but the heart of htagwm was broken. gabriel, who tried to be righteous and all that, ended up taking frank's obviously dirty money. and it was still unclear if he really saw his father for who he really was (yes, dumbass, he did kill off lila for fucks sake) because like hell he was going to believe frank, and the testimonies on the annalise hearing was distorted too. frank died doing what he always did— committing hideous crimes in annalise's name (although he did it on his own accord, not because annalise told him to.) only that this time, karma was swift as it shot frank right back. and bonnie died doing what she always did— trying to be there for her so-called family. though the only comfort that can be gained was that the bonnie-frank-annalise trio stayed together even in death. though there is also a quiet tragedy in the way that bonnie never got to relay the message frank wanted to give (annalise: why did frank do this?? why?? / frank, moments earlier: i did it for annalise, alright? tell her that i did it for her.)

the friendship of the k5 was torn apart even before the show ended— wes died, asher turned on them, laurel hid away to save herself, connor went to jail, michaela tried to hold on to the remains: she tried to chase connor and oliver, but oliver pushed her away (he never really forgave her for the simon incident). she tried to call laurel, but laurel already switched numbers. the way that michaela burst into tears even after yelling at both connor and laurel only hours earlier— as her tough girl facade, her fear overtaking her— but no one really stayed around to support her in the end. in the end, she was really the one who relied on the k5 friendship despite acting otherwise.

and the trauma stayed with them, even long after. michaela didn't even bother to attend annalise's funeral— implying that she had fallen out with everyone, despite being the one who tried to reach out at the final courtroom scene. laurel had to look at the spitting image of her ex-boyfriend, who she publicly defaced time and time again, and who had his name permanently stained, who died in a fire orchestrated by her family— she had to see that every time she looked at her son. and connor and oliver, who was with christopher even before he was born, christopher spent his first christmas with them, they were both signed as guardians in case something happened to laurel, christopher didn't even recognize them because there was distance between laurel and coliver. and it was for the better too, since their relationship didn't have anything solid other than the murders— they all needed to stay apart to heal.

and christopher said that annalise was his mentor, after a beat by beat copy of the pilot episode. (please, don't let christopher be the new annalise, wes would actually have a stroke in the afterlife. laurel as the new ophelia is interesting imagery though.) it also meant that only laurel kept in touch with annalise after her trial— laurel, the only one who went against her immunity deal and testified for annalise. in the end, the final court scene put a wedge in annalise's relationship with everyone else in the k5.

the ending only showed the cracks that was there from the beginning— none of them had a solid relationship that wasn't built out of desperation and guilt. and for the ones who did, they were the only ones who stayed together (connor and oliver were initially brought together by connor looking for stability post-sam, and oliver looking for stability post-wes, but it's implied that the love that they had in htagwm had grown into something more different and real, real enough to stay even in their old age, long after the trauma has passed), (tegan and annalise were implied endgame, and without all the murder web and conspiracy, annalise could have learned to open herself up just like how she did with robert? ronald? so irrelevant i cant remember. though it was implied that tegan had passed away first.), (annalise was christopher's mentor, meaning that laurel allowed her back in their lives. and the beach and salsa scenes with tegan/annalise, as well as christophers thick spanish accent, implied that they live in mexico. and christopher didn't really have a motive to teach in middleton, except, in the honor of his mentor and mother, perhaps.)

note: i firmly believe that healthy relationships can come out of the htagwm cast despite unhealthy beginnings. even if connor only initially fucked oliver to get intel, oliver did teach connor how to love, much like he said (im sorry but the "you taught me how to love" by connor fucking broke me ok). connor was a fuckboy until he slowly fell in love with oliver, but refused to admit it to himself. even before the sam incident, he was already going back to oliver even after oliver broke up with him. oliver eventually did gain a footing in their relationship, even if it was all in connor's hold at first. and even though trauma did influence their relationship, they did genuinely love each other. especially at the wedding. it might have been born out of desperation, but their sentiments were real. however, they did need some time away from the trauma to properly build a healthy relationship— which was why connor asked for a divorce at the end. though it was left unclear if oliver signed it or not, what was clear is that their love survived the 5 years of connor in prison, as well as the decades that came after.

i was going to say how annalise might have reached out to laurel bc christopher was the only remains of wes that she had left— but the way that she burned down wes' confession, his words in a way, to save herself, could prove that she finally moved on from wes' death.

anyway. my point still stands about building healthy relationships from unhealthy beginnings. annalise could have been so desperate to save christopher because it reminded her of her baby or wes, either/or, which could be traced back to her guilt/attachment issues to them— but she did build a genuine relationship with christopher, long before the s6 finale. she was the only one who could make him laugh, after all. and she chose to continue that relationship until he grew up, until he chose to be a lawyer like her, until he came to middleton in her honor, and even titled his class exactly like hers. i'd say that's a pretty solid relationship.

okay. im done. i think i got it out of my system. the finale just fucked me up so bad. i binged the entire show for a month or two and its hitting me bad.

though what saddens me is that connor is the one who truly helped annalise with her class action case, which gave her a boost to her purpose and name, only for them to never truly reconnect. i guess connor did take that help back when he smeared her name on the stand.

i say this every time a show ends. just because you don’t like a show’s ending doesn’t mean the writing is bad. pete nowalk literally said that his whole goal of the finale was to suggest that you can’t get away with murder. and at the end of the day, no one did. and the full circle ending was so good. i thought it was really well done but what do i know. lol