#laure here u go this is dedicated to you

[tonydaddingham]

sideburn theory strikes again

idk if its just that i have been fully driven around the bend by this show or is this is Big Brain special, but if all fails this is the lore of a crossover you might not have known you wanted.

so i posted way back in the bygone era of pre-s2 that i felt that there was something potentially behind the different sideburn lengths in the trailer and first promos, and my darling @theeminentlyimpractical added into this, plus the added spot of crowley's sunglasses changing. now this appears to have been debunked by further s2 content (and indeed s2 in its entirety), because there didn't appear to be rhyme nor reason to the sideburns, but there was to the sunglasses. so we kinda left it alone (although people keep rb'ing the original theory, frankly god knows why).

now we kinda came up with some explanation for this, which ive summarised in this ask earlier, but then. then. we saw this brilliant observation by @rebeccasteventaylor, and thought - well, fuck it, let's take another look.

note: reference screenshots of nearly every crowley scene, per episode, at end of post.

so main observations so far:

crowley seems to exclusively wear the silver sunglasses in ep1 and ep2

then switches to the new grey sunglasses from ep3 onwards

he has a mix of long and short sideburns ep1 to ep4, and switches sideburn lengths in those eps between scenes

then seems to exclusively have long sideburns in the 'second half'* ep5, and in ep6.

then i have the following thoughts from both seasons:

we know that crowley is a singular demon in that he has an imagination

we know that he is pretty powerful, including the ability to stop and hold time

there are indeed plenty of doctor who references which - absolutely, may be an innocent homage to david tennant - but seem so pointed in s2 that it's almost unnerving

two quotes! first: "if any harm comes to aziraphale because of this, i will... oh, it doesn't matter, it's too late for that now, isn't it?... its always too late."

second: "i know... looking at/working out where the furniture isn't..."

the crow road by Iain Banks is introduced at the very end of s2, being read by muriel, and has very prominent features on screen when metatron asks them about it. crow road plot involves the main character piecing together notes/sketches left by their late uncle. (by the by, very purposeful feature in s2 that aziraphale keeps multiple diaries, and can sketch real good - including specifically a picture of gabriel)

now, before i start parsing out the theory (though tbh, by this point, i imagine you can see where im going with this), i will add that as i said in the above linked ask, im fully on board with the sideburn thing being bc of AP/confines of filming in COVID, and so it may just be a detail that had to slide or was missed. but that isn't as fun as putting on the tinfoil hat.

the main thing for me is that the long sideburns seem to consistently appear on screen after aziraphale and crowley talk in justine's restaurant in ep5*. once crowley goes over to the bookshop to confront gabriel, the long sideburns seem to remain. this is also where crowley appears to be at his angriest which, tbh, is kind of at odds with how he seemed to speak about and treat gabriel in ep3 and ep4.

let's start with ep3 (ill come back to ep1 and ep2*). in the vavoom scene, crowley almost seems quite chummy towards gabriel, perhaps slightly condescending, but warmer than he is after shax arrives. now, shax turning up to remind crowley of the stakes involved (ie threat to aziraphale) is completely trackable against how crowley then speaks to gabriel afterwards. but it is this quote that has baffled me slightly:

"if any harm comes to aziraphale because of this, i will... oh, it doesn't matter, it's too late for that now... its always too late."

and the reason it baffles me is because... well, i don't really get what crowley is talking about? he's rescued aziraphale on plenty of occasions, and seems to always be in the nick of time (or stopping it, if you consider 1793), and aziraphale has previously rescued crowley back with impeccable timing.

aziraphale hasn't actually come to much harm in any of the story we've seen so far; the only time crowley wasn't on time was with the bookshop fire, and whilst that was resolved, it would match up with what crowley's saying about being too late... but 'always too late'? ie, more than once? seems like there's been a pattern where crowley is too late.

the other thought i had on this is that crowley says "too late" in reference to saving morag in the same episode (but in the resurrectionist minisode within) but that was on aziraphale himself for dithering - why would crowley talk about it? so it seems to me that there are other instances where crowley himself has been too late to save aziraphale. the only time i really think this happens, where aziraphale ends up in danger, is the Domestic at the end of ep6 when crowley is too late to tell aziraphale how he feels - which probably would have influenced his decision to stay and not walk willingly into the clutches of the metatron... but in the s2 narrative, that hasn't happened yet.

furthermore, @theeminentlyimpractical brought up this little detail up from the book:

which doesn't necessarily mean anything in this theory's context, that crowley has one of his watch's clocks programmed to hell's timezone, but appears to be a detail specifically related to crowley nonetheless; futile fight, helplessness, the concept of always being Too Late.

the last thing however to mention about ep3 is that there appears to be a very clear before and after where the sideburns are concerned. where muriel turns up, and crowley and aziraphale talk in the back-back room, crowley is sporting shorter sideburns. but after aziraphale leaves, crowley comes down from upstairs carrying books, and has longer sideburns. i don't necessarily have any explanation for this, but do observe that it seems quite deliberate for the episode that he has the longer ones once aziraphale leaves, and continuing into ep4 when aziraphale comes back from edinburgh.

ep5 however, crowley arrives on whickber street, and is back with ye old short sideburns again. the only time this changes in the beginning half(ish)* is when he and aziraphale visit Arnold's. once again, don't really have any theoretical explanation for this, but one thing i will say is that when crowley and aziraphale approach the archway/alley that goes to Arnold's (just after "can i watch?"), they're in step with each other... but when aziraphale gets to the window, he's alone for a good few seconds and crowley doesn't appear - he might be out of shot, but then does appear just as aziraphale enters the shop... just an odd amount of time to have not followed aziraphale to the window.

in any case, crowley then follows around, gets waylaid and epiphany-slapped by nina, gets somewhat pissed in justine's, and then heads over to the bookshop. where he next appears upstairs, and suddenly sporting long sideburns again. it then seems somewhat pointed that this is where he really lays in to gabriel - now, contributory factors here are he's just been hit with the realisation that he loves aziraphale and aziraphale loves him, and he's probably about five sheets to the wind.

but it's particularly venomous and angry which - yeah, tracks - but i wonder if this is in response to something more? that crowley has more to be angry at gabriel over, more to be resentful of, than just that gabriel's presence in the bookshop could bring harm to aziraphale, and gabriel's involvement in the botched execution?

add to this, the line that we're all losing our heads over?

"i know... looking at/working out where the furniture isn't..." (subtitles conflict on amazon re: the first bit vs what im personally hearing, but neil has confirmed it's at least 'where the furniture isn't.')

now this all relates in the conversation back to gabriel's analogy of his missing memory feeling like a house with missing furniture, and trying to work out what in fact is missing. many have speculated that crowley might have gone through the same predicament of forcibly losing his memory (and s2 certainly does set it up like that), but i do wonder if it in fact twists that crowley is actually investigating the missing furniture, piecing together his own clues?

his tone being resigned and bitchy, even mocking, could well just be him laying on gabriel again, or indeed he could be empathising because he too has lost his memories, or because he's in the same boat and trying to piece things together... just, not in the same way?

so let's come back to what im actually getting at here; does crowley expand on his time-stopping powers, and does he essentially step back into his own timeline? and has to piece it together à la crow road?

was there an alternative timeline that still resulted in aziraphale going to heaven, but under different circumstances, and crowley comes back to change it to no avail, and that's where we leave s2? or, in this aborted (?) timeline, does aziraphale get got by hell, or gets taken out of the BOL (and falls?), crowley is trying to work out how/why, tracks it back through to the events we see in s2, ends up helping to hide gabriel (eg. he comes back after the So Did I argument), but then that leads down the path of losing aziraphale to heaven anyway, just in a different way? "it's always too late"?

now, don't let it be said that i won't poke holes in my own theory, because this is absolutely crazy and relatively baseless... and is so easily explained as just being One Of Those Filming Things (i simply felt it was slightly remiss to not mention these thoughts floating in my noggin).

the main issue of course is that *ep1 and ep2 are literally a mess where this theory is concerned. there are some short/long sideburn differences that can't be explained away, because the scenes literally follow in succession to each other - eg. ep1 goes from leaving the coffee shop (short), to the gabriel reveal (long), to So Did I (short again). another eg. ep2 goes from leaving the pub (long), to the walk across the road (short), to the job segue (long again). i could try to explain this with "oh crowley stopped time and switched", but that would probably be a bit of a cop out, however possible it might technically be within the narrative.

i don't even really know where to leave this off, but im still just of the mind that for a show where attention to detail is Everything (take the neil ask about the records, for example; he immediately spotted that the holes weren't right for jukebox compatibility, but they had to accept it as a good regardless), this feels like a pretty Big Goof?

alternatively yes, it might be AP whereupon david was going into another job fairly shortly after reshoot work was needed, or there were COVID related filming issues, but a) seems like a lot of reshoot work/pickups, and b) couldnt they have just trimmed the 'burns/be able to fake the length? idk but my brain is scrambled and im so confused.

screenshots!

S/L (red) - short/long sideburns, S/G (grey) - silver/grey sunglasses

episode one:

episode two:

episode three:

episode four:

episode five:

episode six:

[thedroneranger]

The Drone Ranger's Be Kind Rewind ⏪ mothdruid Edition!

A rec reblog series dedicated to the fics that we love so much, we've re-read them!

Have no fear, @mothdruid's Rewind is here! Abby, thank you for contributing to this series!

While we continue to churn out amazing new content, let's be kind and rewind to look at some of the OG content we love! And don't forget to reblog when you re-read! Continue to show your comfort fics and favorite creators some love. It helps keep the fresh content coming :)

Let's keep this going throughout the summer, so if you're interested in participating in the Be Kind Rewind, message me. The more, the merrier!

If you want to know when a new Rewind drops, join the tag list, and check out previous Rewinds!

fics below the cut (listed in alphabetical order by title)

and even when we’re wrong in every way, we come out the other side okay, Bradley Bradshaw, @gretagerwigsmuse god, bradley is such a wimp for smart people and it shows.

Coveted Facade, Jake Seresin, @inklore laur, sweets. laur's jake fics are phenomenal and truly encapsulate how canon jake is.

Heat, Bradley Bradshaw, @clints-lucky-arrow this was the first top gun fic i ever read! i'd like to thank mack for creating such a mind melting fic, that i still think about to this day.

I Touch Myself, Bob Floyd, @rhettabbotts subby bob is a delight, and shelby did a great job with this.

Old Habits Die Hard, Bradley Bradshaw, @roosterforme frat bradley is so special to me!!!! this whole series means a lot to me.

Silk, Jake Seresin, @siempre-bucky this is so fucking hot, and it's not even smutty. jake is so in love and it's adorable.

Sin Adorno O Flores, Mickey Garcia, @rae-gar-targaryen this was one of the first things for mickey I ever read. and it really made me love how sweet and soft he is.

Songbird, Bradley Bradshaw, @bradshawsbitch my urge to go to a cabin was increased after reading this. especially one with bradley.

The Professor, Jake Seresin, @topguncortez this was the first thing of G's i read! it's so good and just makes me melt!

Creator's Own

Home for the Holidays, Bradley Bradshaw this is my pride and joy, something i'm very happy and glad to have written. the rom-com i'd like to make into a movie.

Tag list and friends: @petcr3 @desert-fern @Sagittarius-Lovewitch @mygyn @sweetwhispersofchaos @horseshoegirl @the-annoying-fan @dingochef @moon42flight @thecitysgraveyard @ereardon @roosterforme @cherrycola27 @galaxy-of-stories @taytaylala12 @malindacath @violyn20 @awildewit @potato-girl99981 @shanimallina87 @blue-aconite @djs8891 @linkpk88 @furiousladyking @daggerspare-standingby @princess76179 @jstarr86 @hecate-steps-on-me @darkheartcherry @soulmates8 @roosters-girl @dempy @roosterisdaddy36 @hangmanscoming @s-u-t @mavrellover91 @chicomonks @averyhotchner 

A kind reminder, this is a 18+ blog. While not all stories in the recommendation list are 18+, please respect boundaries and do not interact unless you are 18 years of age or older.

[screenwritingdyke]

‘I told my sibling that I had a crush on you and in hindsight I should have known that was a bad idea. Anyway I’m so sorry that they tied you up I swear I had nothing to do with it’ AU + Sterek, please?

okay i made this a high school au i hope thats okay! im imagining stiles and derek are 16, laura’s 18, and peter’s like 25. anyway i hope u like it!

Derek really hates the predatory grin Laura’s giving him right now. He had been sitting at the dining room table doing his homework, but now, apparently, he’s sitting at the table being interrogated about his crush. Technically, he could try to lie, but even if Laura wasn’t listening to his heartbeat, she’d make some comment about his ears turning red being a telltale sign that he’s lying.

He shuts his algebra book and slides it and his notebook to the side. Because Laura is Laura, he knows she won’t stop until she manages to squeeze out every last detail from him.

“It’s just a crush, Laur. It’s not a big deal,” he says.

Laura just raises an eyebrow and keeps giving him that sly grin of hers. Derek’s pretty sure that she wouldn’t need to show off her claws and fangs to convince someone that she’s a werewolf; just the way she looks at other people certainly could.

“Not a big deal, hm? That’s not what Peter said.”

Derek can hear Peter chuckle from the kitchen and he rolls his eyes. “Who even cares about what Peter says?”

“You, for one,” Laura points out. “Just tell me about her. Is she cute?”

Derek shifts in his chair and avoids eye contact with Laura. “It’s not a her,” he says after a few moments.

Laura’s grin softens and she reaches over to rest her hand on top of his. “Tell me about him, then.”

Peter pops out of the kitchen with a raised eyebrow. “Excuse me? It’s not that cello girl?” he asks.

Derek shakes his head and rolls his eyes. “No. I’m fairly certain you’re more interested in her than I’ll ever be.”

Peter sneers. “Oh, please. Sixteen-year-old girls aren’t my type.”

“That’s because their frat boy older brothers are your type.” Laura gives him a knowing look and Derek whips his head around to look at him.

Peter’s actually blushing and it’s then that Derek decides he never wants to know anything about his uncle’s personal life. Ever.

“Keep your mouth shut,” he mutters. Peter gives her the middle fingers before traipsing off to his bedroom.

Derek looks back over at Laura and raises a brow. “Do I want to know?” he asks.

“Depends. Do you want to know about our uncle’s sexcapades?” she says, shrugging.

Derek shakes his head immediately. “No. Definitely not. And I don’t want to know how you know about his sexcapades, either.”

Laura chuckles and shrugs. “Stop thinking about that. Tell me about this boy you’re crushing on.”

He had been hoping she’d forget about that. Derek groans and slumps in his chair. “He’s just this guy in my grade. Like I said, it’s not a big deal.”

“If he was just some guy and if it’s not a big deal, then your heartbeat wouldn’t have risen like it just did.”

Derek leans forward onto the table to rest his head in his hands and groans. “His name is Stiles,” he grumbles after a few moments. “He’s Sheriff Stilinski’s son.”

Laura cocks her head to the side and Derek just knows what she’s about to ask next. “His name is Stiles Stilinski?” she asks. “What kind of name is that?” Bingo.

“Stiles is a nickname. His first name is Mieczyslaw,” he explains.

Laura laughs and shakes her head. “Question still stands. What kind of name is that?”

“It’s Polish!”

“Of course it is,” she says, still chuckling. “How do you even know how to say that?”

Derek feels all the blood rush to his face and ears and he’s quiet for a moment. “I looked it up online.”

Laura’s laughing again and Derek has the sudden urge to disappear. “Oh, you are too cute, Der. That’s dedication.”

He leans forward to rest his head in his arms on the table. “Shut up, Laura. It’s not even that hard to say.”

She reaches forward to take his hand and she squeezes. “Hey, he’d be lucky to have you as a boyfriend. It’s just my job as your older sister to tease you.”

He looks up to see her giving him one of her warm smiles, one that doesn’t give him nightmares. “I don’t even know if he likes guys,” he says after a few moments.

“I can think of a few ways to find out.”

Derek’s eyebrows twist in confusion and he’s fairly certain he doesn’t want to know what sorts of plans she has in mind. “Just let me handle it, alright? I can do it.”

Laura gets up from her chair and comes around to his side of the table to ruffle his hair. “Never be afraid of asking for help, Der. You have a big sister for a reason.” She steals a sip of his Coke before heading upstairs to her room.

Not for the first time that night, Derek presses his face into his arms and groans.

-----

It’s been a couple weeks since Laura’s visit home from college and there’s been no mention of Stiles from her. In fact, Derek’s feeling pretty confident, or maybe just a little too hopeful, that she’s forgotten about Stiles. But then he comes home from basketball practice one Friday to see her lounging on the couch reading Cosmo. She never comes home this often during the school year.

“What are you doing here?” he asks as he slings his backpack onto the floor. He joins her on the couch and sticks his feet in her lap because he knows she hates it.

Laura rolls her eyes and shoves his feet away. “You stink like sweaty, teenage boy.”

“I am a sweaty, teenage boy,” he says, smirking.

“I know. You disgust me.”

Derek laughs and scoots closer to her. “Love you too, Laur.”

She smiles and slings an arm around his shoulders to pull him closer and kiss the top of his head.

“Seriously, though, what are you doing home?” he asks. “We don’t have another pack thing for another couple weeks.”

“I have a surprise for you,” she says.

Derek’s fairly certain his apprehension is tangible. “A surprise? What kind of surprise?” he asks.

“You’ll see.” She stands from the couch and looks back at him once she gets to the front door. “Are you coming or not?”

Derek nods and springs up from the couch to follow her out the door. “Where exactly are we going?”

Laura just shrugs and continues walking through the preserve. “You’ll see.”

After about five minutes of walking, Derek can finally see a couple figures in the distance by a tree. He tilts his head up a bit to try to catch a scent. There’s the familiar scent of Peter -- cedar-scented soap, cotton, expensive cologne, and general wrongdoing -- and another scent he’s spent far too much time memorizing: Axe shampoo, the microwaved bacon he eats for breakfast, a little bit of sweat, and general homeyness. It’s the unmistakable scent of Stiles.

Derek bursts into a run and Laura’s on his heels. He gapes in horror when he reaches the tree; Peter’s tapping away on his phone with Stiles tied up to the tree and duct tape over his mouth next to him. Peter doesn’t even glance up when Derek and Laura approach.

“You kidnapped him?” he roars. Peter finally looks up and he and Laura share a look. Derek looks from one to the other for an explanation. “Is one of you going to explain?” He narrows his eyebrows and crosses his arms.

“You wanted to find out if he liked guys,” Laura says, shrugging. “And Peter said he had a plan.”

Derek turns to look at him and Peter just smirks. “Just helping out my favorite nephew. You should thank me.”

Derek lets out a low growl and Laura takes that as a sign to leave. She grabs Peter’s arm and nods toward the house. “Let’s just give them some time together.” Peter rolls his eyes, but, thankfully, lets himself be dragged away by her.

Derek immediately rips the duct tape off of Stiles’ mouth and begins untying him. He knows his face is probably as red as a tomato and he braces himself for the barrage of insults and threats he knows Stiles is about to unleash.

“Your weird siblings kidnapped me to find out if I liked guys?”

Derek raises an eyebrow and looks up at him. Stiles seems surprisingly calm for someone who had just been kidnapped and tied to a tree. He mostly just looks confused and Derek can’t really blame him for that. He shrugs and just keeps working on the rope.

“Peter’s my uncle, not my sibling,” he mumbles.

“So...your weird uncle and sister kidnapped me to find out if I like guys?”

Derek huffs and lets the rope fall to the ground once it’s all untied. “Yeah. I guess. Look, I didn’t ask them to do that, okay? I’m sorry. I had no idea they were even up to something.”

Stiles rubs at his wrists and then runs a hand through his hair. “I mean, if you wanted to know if I’m into dudes, there are easier ways you could’ve done it,” he says.

Derek shoves his hands into his back pockets and looks anywhere except at Stiles. “I didn’t ask them to do this.”

“Well, I do, for the record.”

He finally looks over at Stiles and cocks his head to the side. “You do?”

Stiles rubs at the back of his neck and nodes. “Yeah. And, uh, one guy in particular. And if I’m reading the situation right, I think he might be into me too? Otherwise, this is a lot of effort just to find out if some random guy is into guys you know?”

Derek’s eyebrows raise in shock. “You’re telling me that you like me even after my sister and uncle kidnapped you and tied you to a tree and you could very well press charges against them.”

Stiles just grins and shrugs. “Stranger things have happened.”

Derek just shakes his head. He tries to hide his grin, but fails. “You’re ridiculous, you know that?”

“So? You seem to be into it,” Stiles says, waggling his eyebrows.

Derek shrugs and nods toward the house. “Do you want to come inside or something? I can make food or something,” he says. “Anything to make up for all this.”

Stiles falls into step alongside him as they make their way back to the house. “I’ll take you up on that. If you make food just as well as you play basketball, I’m definitely not turning down an offer like that.”

Derek smiles and laces his fingers with Stiles’. When Stiles gives his hand a squeeze, his heart skips a beat. Back home, he ignores all the smirks and knowing looks from Peter and Laura and the rest of his family. All that matters is Stiles and they way they feel for each other.

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