#laughs along with the BEST guys as they watch Ren through the spyglass (then drops everything to rush to his aid when his tower burns) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ani-craft · 2 years ago

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sobbing and crying about the fact that Martyn can never say what he means especially about his emotions. He can wear the dogwarts banner on his waist, give him a life, give him netherwart in secret but he can’t tell ren or the world that he cares. Instead he hides behind his words (I was going to betray ren) because that’s all he can do when he knows there is something Watching him, preying on his vulnerability

#explodes 💥#AGONY. PAIN FOREVER #'a loss of comfort' he admits to no one #'a shift in psyche'#he cites his attachment to Ren as something to never repeat #reminds himself that caring ended with the person he loved dead in the soil with no way to get to him before he too fell #'made him more selfish going forward'#but he's never selfish when it comes to Ren is he?#he'll feign indifference #laughs along with the BEST guys as they watch Ren through the spyglass (then drops everything to rush to his aid when his tower burns)#rolls his eyes at Cleo's knowing grin and suggestion to team with him (like he always does)#(they were right in the end though weren't they? when Ren chased Martyn off from Cleo's place--both laughing--and Cleo yelled after them)#(do you think she felt vindicated then? knew it would always be those two together somehow someway?)#but there's no stopping that gravitational pull between them #Ren was his rule break. the person he maintained concern for even when he shouldn't have #so when a game comes along and Ren isn't there? all bets are off. there's no hand to guide his own--no other purpose but to win #and he does win. he wins without Ren #without his King. his Hound. his fellow Broken Heart #it proves to him that having something so detrimental as someone to care for only led to downfall. only held him back #so why was he still so forlorn about his absence?#'I would have betrayed him. I planned to.'#and it would have been the hardest thing you had to do wouldn't it?#perhaps its a mercy then that you never got the chance

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