#last year mine was 10 cents. literally a dime

[butchvamp]

shout out to my job for the 31 cent raise. thanks…. almost 4 years and i havent even managed to accumulate a $1 raise total. only 78 cents

[thefelicitoussmoak]

Done

This is the last straw. This is super long rant and might be triggering for some.

I have survived years of emotional, psychological and physical abuse, rape, gaslighting and a shit ton more. My mother made me dependant on her for almost everything and never let me be a normal teen, called me fat, told me I should just kill myself after finding me bleeding from self inflicted wounds and then would turn around and sit and pet my hair in her lap every night while watching some show. Usually friends. She never taught me any useful life skills besides driving because I could get her groceries (at 13 mind you and then cigarettes at 18).

THEN, after all this, JUST after I graduated at 17, she was diagnosed with lung cancer. I was expected to always be available but have a full time job. Take her to appointments an hour away from home and wait, then bring her back. Clean up her sick from the rug. Help her shower, and remember to take meds. When her colon ruptured I had to help her recover from emergency surgery and change her colostomy bag. When her hair fell out from chemo and radiation, I helped shave her head and out wigs. Then I helped her recover from a reverse surgery for the colostomy bag, a collapsed lung from getting a medical port put in when her veins were shrinking from chemo and through ALL of that and more, I hardly ever said a word. Because she was my mother and despite all the abuse, I loved her and felt like I had to. She got married at some point and I HATED the guy but she was happy so I stayed quiet. He was better than the one who abused and molested me seeing as he only yelled at me and clearly despised me back. I was always "the good daughter" never caused trouble. I even attempted to go to college for a while, still working and caring for her.

She died right before I turned 21. That year or two after is a blur, I remember my older brother constantly being stumbling drunk and eventually moved in with friends from high school. He ended up living in his car for a year after her husband kicked bro out of the house mom had been renting from him. Those same friends used me for every single cent of my money from getting insurance and i eneded up calling my distant father across the counrty to ask if I could move in with him. He agreed and helped me get up there. I literally had not a single dime to my name. I left everything I had known for 18 years of my life to move in with family I loved but barely knew. My brother followed suit shortly after and moved back in with dad (he already had lived there for 10 years but came down "for my little sister" good job there bro) bro smoked and I didn't. I got a job over night at 2am and he barely kept a job a week before quitting or getting fired. He stayed up all night blaring bass-y music keeping me from sleeping for my 2 am job.

I moved in with my aunt. Made some money and got back on my feet well enough to be sufficient but never enough to fix my dental failings which are in every tooth and they're crumbling literally from a condition my mother never bothered to have looked at or fixed despite getting 1000 a month just from dad in child support all my life and 3k from her own job with good insurance form her AND dad. I've never had the means to fix it either.

Now years later I'm about to turn 27 and my doctor thinks I may have fucking uterine cancer!

What kind of fucking comsic bullshit is this?!

My ONLY goal in life the last couple years has been to get my teeth fully fixed and finally feel confident enough to maybe go to a Comic-Con and meet some celebrity heros of mine or something without feeling self conscious and ugly for a thing I've never been able to fix. But NOOO! I had my wisdom teeth come in. My car fail. My gallbladder removed, etc. NOW I might have fucking cancer?!

NO. Just... no. I can't with this. I have had to deal with TOO FUCKING MUCH in my stupid, short, goddamn life. I have always wanted kids but kept putting it off for the right person and timing but now if I do have this cancer and even if I survived it, I'll probably never have kids. I already have hypothyroidism and pcos for fucks sake so my chances are already slimmer than the normal woman.

We have the test done and I'm just waiting now. Whatever happens happens I guess. Oh well. The rest of my life has sucked, why not have fucking CANCER thrown at me while we're at it?

I'm just done. If it comes back positive I'm just gonna say fuck it and be done with all this bullshit. Why wait. Why bother going through what I saw my mother go through. It was horrible and I won't go out like that and fuck anyone who tries to tell me otherwise. I should be able to choose how, when and where I go, in regards to this kind of shit. I'd like to live a long happy life, maybe make a fool of myself at a celeb meet and great cause I'm awkward or travel to Scotland like I've always wanted to or Canada but apparently the universe is giving me the biggest fucking finger. Well fuck you too universe!

Sorry for the book of my shitty life. But I'm scared, angry and fucking tired of being fucked over in my life. I needed to rant. Hope I didn't miss any tags that might trigger people, I tried. Sorry.

[yoursmlweekly-blog]

The 10 Commandments of How to Ball on a Budget

For most college students, college is their first time that they are solely responsible for…well, everything. Here is your ultimate money saving cheat sheet.

By Taylor Brown

1.      Apply For a Credit Card

Hear me out, you have to build your credit eventually. College is a great place to start. The point of getting a credit card is to not run up the credit. Usually, your parents would say to use it for emergency purposes only but anything can be an emergency. A 50% off sale is an emergency right? That’s why you apply for credit cards with incentives. A Discover It Student Card is a great start. You get 1% cash back on every purchase and 5% during special promotions. Your cash back is matched after your first year!

2.      Join Rewards Programs

Rewards programs are the best. You literally get rewarded for your purchases. For Cal Lutheran students, an app that everyone should have is the Chick Fil A app. You get 10 points for every dollar spent. The points can be redeemed for free food. “My friends and I get free rewards every week courtesy of Josh Young.” said Sophomore Zino Ayetuoma. The local Moorpark Chick Fil A owner, Josh Young, gives out free rewards to Chick Fil A reward members every week.

3.      Drop-In!

We know ASCLUG loves a drop-in. These are the best times to participate in campus events. Why? Because it’s free! Chick Fil A, Little Calf Creamery, Dojo Boom, and many more! Just show up and you won’t have to pay a dime. Always check The Hub to find them.

4.      Free Trials and Samples

Don’t know if a music streaming service is worth it? Participate in the free trial! Free trials can be anywhere between 7 days to 6 months! Don’t know if the foundation will match your skin? Ask for a sample! Sephora is a great place to ask for samples. You can receive up to three samples in one visit.

5.      Watch For Sales

Always keep an eye on sales. During transitions between seasons, stores have sales to clear out last season’s stock. There is no harm in buying more swimsuits at the end of the summer; especially when it is 50% off the original price. Websites like Unidays and Student Beans informs college students on all the best sales and student discounts. College emails get you more than just assignment notifications.

6.      Clearance Section

Every store has one. You can find some stellar items in the clearance section. Clothing stores like Forever 21 constantly rotate their inventory. That top you wanted that was $15 last week is probably $7 today. Stores like Home Goods and Marshall’s are known for their everyday low prices. Their clearance section is even lower. You can find dorm décor that is cute and inexpensive.

7.      Don’t Be Afraid of Dollar Stores

99 Cent Only, Family Dollar, Dollar Tree—you name it. Dollar stores are a gold mine. You can almost anything in a dollar store for just $1. From groceries to decorations to makeup, you can find everything you need. Need a pack of hangers? A dollar. Picture frames? A dollar. You can’t go wrong.

8.      Trader Bros with Trader Joe’s

Fortunately, Cal Lutheran students have plenty grocery stores nearby. Grocery store trips can easily become expensive. The cheapest and most efficient grocery store is none other than Trader Joe’s. With plenty of dietary options including vegetarian and gluten free, Trader Joe’s gives shoppers an array of options to choose from. The best part is that it won’t break the bank! “I love Trader Joe’s because I barely spend $60 and get food for two weeks. They also have great Trader Joe’s brand products.” Said current Senior Aliyah Wimbish.

9.      Buy Only What You Need

It can be tempting to splurge, however the key to stretching your money is to only spend it on what you absolutely need. When it is time to grocery shop, make a list. That prevents you from aimlessly walking aisle to aisle picking up random items.

10.  If You Need to Splurge: Budget

Those pair of boots you saw online are $85 but your bank account has no wiggle room? Try putting away a small portion of your money to the side. Putting $5-$10 away every week can be the start of a useful savings account. By time you budget out the $85, those boots might be on sale!

 All of these tips are a great way to keep your finances up and still be satisfied. Sometimes you just have to treat yourself!