#last year i was suffering from internalized homophobia soooo bad

[jonismitchell]

summer 2022 when i was lugging dense classics around europe to read by the water... oh you were elite

[starvels]

5 9 12 and 15 :)

hello dear lena! thank you💕 i hope you enjoy these recs

fic reader's ask meme

5. long stories or short stories

i tried to answer this several ways, tbh and what i finally realized is that i really don't mind short, medium or long fic. all of it is nice to me, it just depends on my mood. so! here are some varied length recs 😎

here are two nice steve/tony:

Heroes and Devils by marinarusalka

Three years after Dr. Doom cast the entire island of Manhattan into the dark depths of the Echo Bazaar, life goes on. The people of Lowered Manhattan, including the Avengers, have adapted as best they could to their shadowy new existence. But then the Avengers find themselves in possession of a mysterious locked box that could save them all -- if it doesn't kill Tony first.

you can think that you’re in love, when you’re really just in pain by lomku

Every day, they take Steve, and every day, he comes back a little less pristine.

and an arthur/eames i think you might enjoy in a dark creepy way 👀

Sustenance by the_ragnarok

Nobody in their business comes by their skills for free. There is always someone to train you, to remake you in the image of your chosen profession. Their world is a place of ownerships. The best you could hope for was a long, comfortable leash. (Inception, Arthur/Eames)

9. rec some angst! (you all love this # sdkjnbgkjnb)

here's two steve/tony

A Borrowed Body by dirigibleplumbing

After Steve shows up in San Francisco, Tony uses Extremis to make him strong and beautiful again. Tony wants sex in return, and Steve gives it to him—he owes this body to Tony, after all. Every month after that, he visits Tony to keep up his end of the bargain.

That will just have to be enough for him.

but come ye back by Red (S_Hylor)

When the night is cold and the sky is open, Tony goes to talk to the past Sheriff of Timely.

then, a carol/jess just for you lena hehe

Hollow Spirits by Ironlawyer

Carol is missing something. She is supposed to have her memory back, yet there is an emptiness inside her. No one will listen and nothing can help. Except Tony Stark and a bottle of Jack.

and last an og fic about elves and complex internalized homophobia and trauma

The Golden Veil by jury

Half-elf Soren, raised as a human, returns to the land of the elves, but finds his past is not left behind. Caught between new relationships and the trauma of his history, he struggles to adjust to his new world through swordfights, painful conversations and the truths he's been hiding from himself.

12. share a sentence that you still remember from a fic you read long ago

what this question revealed to me is that i am really bad at remembering specific lines that are not my own words or summaries or old fma fics LOL😭

so! not so much a single sentence, but i think Relativistic Heat Conduction by BlossomsintheMist still is soooo vibrant in my mind. i read it basically when it was published and every element of it just sorta swept me away. i think it was really formative for how i view steve and tony as avengers together and leaders (especially steve) and the humanity inside superhero stories. so many good lines just saying exactly the concise, weighted thing for the moment/characters:

"“That’s the spirit,” Tony said, but it sounded dull, dead.  It was the sort of thing he might have said what felt like a hundred years ago, back in the original mansion, but it left his lips like it was in a foreign language."

"Was he the one holding them all back?  Was Clint right?  Was his lack of leadership just keeping them trapped down here, dying by inches, while people died and suffered without their help?"

"He sat with him for a long time, until his eyes closed, and he thought he slept.  It felt like an eternity.  For a while he thought he might never leave, that this stinking hut with the flies and the smell of death was it, was everything.  His penance for getting this man killed—for all of it."

not to rec another arthur/eames you didn't ask for, but there's a line about loving the best version of someone in Incipit by thehoyden and i constantly reference it in actual relationships lol. it's not prosaic, but it's really apt and just. cuts gently to the core of loving someone:

"He leaves some money on the table and helps Arthur outside, keeping a firm hand on his elbow. They wait for what feels like forever for a taxi, and then a very pregnant woman and her friend exit the restaurant just as one pulls up. Eames lets go of Arthur to carefully help the pregnant woman inside, all perfect gentlemanly courtesy, and she smiles in thanks as he gently shuts the door. When he comes back to Arthur, he says, "Next one, love, I promise."

Arthur's heart clenches then and he says, "It's fine," but he thinks he'd wait for a thousand cabs just for the pleasure of seeing Eames be a good person."

15. what rarepair you think has a lot of potential

carol/jess/rhodey. like, if you've ever read a single comic with them in it together, you have GOT to stop and go ?????polY? bc their vibes are off the charts.

for a fic rec: annie/dan/eddie/venom, which i think we've talked about before - but truly just is so good. there's so many dynamics to play with

drawn into something by Nonymos

Things Eddie Brock flirts with on a regular basis: death, insanity, his ex, his ex’s new boyfriend, and also the alien symbiote that lives inside his body. Not bad for a loser with no game, really.

and i agree with you! carol/wanda is underappreciated! here's a cute rec for them too 😜

The Heavens' Embroidered Cloths by Muccamukk

Wanda fell toward the Earth, and Carol chased her.