#last week since he was seeing how much i ate or rather didn't he told me i had an eating disorder

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

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[daceydeath]

Skz as the father when you go into labor

Pairing: OT8 x reader Word Count: 2.2k Genre: Fluff, Comedy. Warnings: Swearing, fainting, Stray Kids chaos (is that a warning though?)

A/N: This is just for fun, it was something that I thought up after telling a friend what I went through when I had my kid so please don't take it too seriously.

How Stray Kids would react as your partner when you go into labor with their child.

Chan:

When you and Chan got together, he had been very honest that he did want to be a father someday and you were grateful for that since it meant you weren't going to be wasting your time if this was where the relationship ended up.

After a year he proposed and told you he was ready to settle down now with you so you stopped taking your birth control and decided to see what happened.

It took 6 months for you to fall pregnant and when you found out he actually cried. So excited for the future of his little family.

Your waters broke just after you ate dinner and while Chan was on his way home rather than causing him any panic you simply sat on a towel and waited for him to come home

When he walks in drops his stuff and comes into the lounge he sees you scrolling your phone on a plastic chair.

"What's going on baby? Why aren't you relaxing on the couch?"

"My waters broke" you smile looking both scared and excited.

"Show time then" He grinned looking so excited he might burst.

He leaves you sitting there while he gets your hospital bag, the baby bag, his bag, your birth plan and your medical records before helping you to stand.

"I will need the towel too my love, otherwise I am going to destroy the car seat" you laugh when he pulls a face. "We are not even at the gross bit yet".

"I know and it's fine I'm ready for anything and so are you baby".

Lee Know:

You had met after bumping into each other, quite literally, at a JYP event, where you were working as a waitress. He had apologized profusely for causing the accident, that was not entirely his fault.

After the event was winding down he had asked a co-worker of yours if you were still there so he could check on you one last time before he left. The conversation went well and you ended up with his number and a date and time for your first date with him.

You were both totally happy with just having your cat children until you went to the doctors after feeling off and found out you were actually pregnant. He took it really well getting excited that he would be a father and that his child would have you as it's mother.

Your waters broke while he was filming a few hours out of Seoul so you had called his parents to take you to the hospital. You had phoned him after you had spoken to them and he instantly was yelling to Chan that it was happening and he needed to go right now.

You could hear the cheers from the others as he collected his stuff and you could also hear Chan telling him to breathe and think so he didn't have an accident.

By the time he got to you he was almost back to his normal self the only give away to you that he was at all nervous was the occasional fidgeting.

"Everything will be fine kitten this hospital has the best doctors".

Changbin:

You had met after being set up by some mutual friends who thought you would suit each other, and they had been right, Changbin was everything you had wanted in a boyfriend and eventually a husband.

He had proposed to you at Christmas and you had begun planning your wedding when the slight spanner of a world tour came about, putting your nuptials on the back burner for the time being.

In a break in the tour they all came home for a few weeks and by the time he got back the the US to continue the tour you had discovered you were pregnant.

You told him over face time which turned into him yelling so much his members all broke into his room piled in to see what had happened only for you to repeat the news and start him up again.

He insisted that you let him call his parents and arrange with them for you to either stay with them or have his mum stay with you to take care of him while he was away. He also made sure Chan could make sure that your due dates wouldn't clash with any other schedules.

When you finally went into labor he had moved your mum and sister in with you both so that you would never be alone in case something happened. So when your waters finally broke all four of you were there which was a blessing you had his sister to help you get organized and in the car an his mum to help calm him down as he started yelling at the top of his voice.

"Yah! my baby is having my baby" he shouted.

"Calm down it's not instant" his mother scolded as he carried the bags to the car.

Hyunjin:

You and Hyunjin had sort of fallen together in a sort of oops I fell in love with you sort of way after becoming friends while he was filming a three part SKZ Talker.

It was a pretty whirlwind romance with him telling you in a matter of months he was going to marry you when the company gave them all a decent break and because of that you had also quickly fallen pregnant.

Hyunjin had taken the news well he was surprised but happy his parents were shocked but happy and Kkami tolerated you so everything was pretty much perfect.

Hyunjin proposed within a few days and told the members what was happening telling them that the next decent break you were getting married so that you could be the perfect family.

When your waters broke you were visiting him at the studio, it wasn't a gallons of fluid situation just a small popping sensation and slight trickle that made you gasp.

"What's wrong my love?" he frowned thinking you had hurt yourself.

"Baby, my waters just went" you smiled wide eyes and slightly surprised.

"What! Right now! You're having the baby now!" he shrieked before almost slumping against Felix who looked panicked and lowered him to the floor.

"Who ever bet against him fainting owes me money" you announced calling your future mother in law who was staying with you as Chan tried to rouse Hyunjin.

"Hi Mum... my waters went.... yes I told Hyunjin... no he's passed out...yes that is what I thought too" you sighed looking at your fiancé fondly.

Han:

After marrying Han he had told you that although he wanted kids he was in no rush so when it happened it happened, you were thrilled with this since it meant there was no pressure on either of you so you simply enjoyed married life.

So almost two years later when you watched the pregnancy test say thee weeks+ you were thrilled and so was Han holding you so tight and telling you how wonderful you would be as a mother.

Your pregnancy was not easy and you were sick constantly But Han was always there telling you how well you were doing even if you felt awful.

Your waters broke on the way back from the bathroom in the middle of the night and you fumbled around to turn on your bed side lamp.

"What's wrong baby?" he mumbled lifting his head slightly off the pillow.

"My waters have just broken" you whispered in confusion.

"Shit I'm on it" he yelped rolling out of bed and putting on one sock before coming around the bed to help you.

"One sock will help how?" you giggled as he quickly woke up properly.

"Umm don't really know to be honest" He flushed looking at the water on the floor and not moving.

"Can you get my hospital bag please? just checked it's zipped up before you grab it" you smiled knowing that he was trying his best.

"Of course....I think the car is out of fuel we will need to get some on the way" he blurted looking at you with big eyes as he picked up your bag not checking the zipper and sending things everywhere.

"Uhuh we are soooo ready for this" you laughed properly this time.

Felix:

You had met and married Felix within a year, he was the most caring, sweet and loving person you had ever met and you were as sure as he was that you were meant to be.

Felix had long proved to you that he was always going to put you and your wishes first when it came to the birth of your first child so when he went to Chan and the other members to tell them that you wanted to give birth in your home country with your mum by your side they were surprised but supportive.

Chan had arranged for Felix to go on a hiatus with the company to ensure a little privacy for you both and the company had agreed that when you returned they would not confirm or deny any rumors on your behalf unless you both wanted to make it public that you were now parents.

When your waters finally went you were both feeling so excited that there was little room for worry, Felix had everything ready to go and held your hand the whole way to the hospital while he drove. Your mum met you there and he was adamant with all the nurses and midwives that the pair of them were going to stay with you regardless of what happened.

Spends the whole time you check in and get comfortable in the hospital either holding you, kissing your forehead or holding your hand for support.

"You are doing amazing cupcake, but if you need anything you tell me and I will make it happen".

Seungmin:

Seugmin was your dream husband, he was so caring and soft with you but also trusted you fully to live your life independently from him when he was away on activities or on tour.

You had been married for five years before you even brought up the possibility of having a child and he couldn't have been more excited asking if you could start trying straight away. Which you did throwing away your birth control and hoping for the best you fell pregnant far more quickly than you expected, within a month, which was a blessing and also made Seungmin insanely smug.

Your waters broke during the first snow of the season and Seungmin was much calmer than you telling you that he had already had your hospital bag and the babies bag already packed in the car, he made sure that they had been there for the last two weeks. You laughed and kissed him on the cheek while he tried his best to get your very pregnant body into you not designed for pregnancy winter coat.

"Well this is not going to work" he muttered to himself mainly quickly trying to think up what to do next "Here I'll wrap you in this and then you will stay warm"

"Min that is the blanket from our bed" you giggled as he made you a sort of cape/toga hybrid to wear.

"I didn't factor in the whole coat scenario alright but I have everything else totally under control".

I.N

You and Jeongin had met through friends, you had clicked and your relationship always felt easy and loving. So no one was shocked when he proposed after almost a year together.

Although you had gotten engaged neither of you had even talked about having a baby the test you took for a prank showing two pink lines made the conversation happen pretty darn quick.

Although both of you were scared of how big a responsibility having a child was going to be you quickly realized that having a child with Jeongin would be a wonderful thing, he was going to be a wonderful father so it was going to be alright.

When your waters broke Jeongin tried his very best to not panic, while you called the hospital he called Chan. While you called your mum he called Lee Know and when you called his mum he called Changbin. The three of which all turned up pretty damn fast if you really had bothered to stop and think about it.

"Alright, I have the car running" Chan announced letting himself into your apartment.

"Are the bags in your room or the nursery?" Changbin called walking straight through to get them for you.

"It's important you stay hydrated and try to eat something now to keep your strength up, I've bought all the snacks you will need for at least the rest of today depending on how it all goes" Lee Know smiled softly handing you the bag before patting Jeongin on the shoulder.

"Are you going to help the mother of your child to the car or should I?" Chan smiled softly taking your hand and leading you to the front door to put some shoes on you.

"Oh... I'm on it" Jeongin nodded trying to look like he was holding it all together as Changbin walked passed with the bags and Lee Know picked up your cat to take back to his place until you were home again.

"I didn't realize you were going to need back up" you laughed softly as Jeongin shut the apartment door behind you all making him blush.

Taglist (open): @christopher-bangnaldoskzz, @armystay899, @damnyouficcc, @roamingpolar, @tara-skyhold, @bakedlilgoonienie,

[mayblossomss]

Whumptober Day 12: Starvation

Ponyboy started running track in elementary school. Back then, it wasn't about winning or losing, it was about having fun. His parents quickly discovered that he was fast and could outrun even the fifth graders, and encouraged him to keep it up.

By middle school, he did it for the thrill of hearing his friends and family cheer him on from the sidelines. He loved the feeling of the wind in his hair and the satisfaction that came with coming in first place. It was still only for fun, but he of course enjoyed winning too.

However, now that he was in high school, it was much more than a hobby he participated in 'for fun.' Now, his future depended on it. Ponyboy knew that with how fast he ran, he could get a scholarship for university. In all honesty, Pony had no idea if he even wanted to go to college after high school, but Darry told him he had to, so who was he to disagree?

The pressure to stay number one was getting to him, whether he admitted it to himself or not. At his last practice, his coach called him out and said he was running sloppily. He went home and fixated on why he'd been doing so poorly lately, but failed to come up with any reasons.

In the morning, Soda handed him a plate with some chocolate cake on it. He hadn't eaten dinner the previous night and was starving, so he scoffed it down remarkably fast. Steve, who had been sitting at the table, laughed incredulously at the sight.

"Shit, Ponyboy, slow down, will you?"

Ponyboy looked at him, wiping the chocolate from his lips. "What? I was hungry."

"You eat like a wild animal," Steve grinned teasingly, unaware that his words were hurtful. "You keep it up, and you won't make that precious track team of yours next year."

His heart stopped, face going pale at the concept. Not make the track team? Because of how he ate? "I don't even eat all that much."

"Not true," Two-Bit piped in, smirking as he threw in some jabs of his own. "You go through the chocolate cake faster than the rest of us. Including me."

His mind started racing as the pieces connected inside of his head. Was that why he'd done so poorly last practice-- he was gaining weight? "That's not true."

Soda clapped his hand onto his shoulder, smiling at his friends, but still trying to comfort his brother. "Don't listen to them," he said, yet he didn't stop them from continuing to mess around. None of them meant what they were saying, it was all in 'good fun', but Ponyboy didn't see it like that. He took it to heart.

That day at lunch, he threw the sandwich he made into the trash without a second thought. At dinner, he told Darry he wasn't feeling well and that he'd rather lie down than eat. The following morning, he didn't pull the cake out of the icebox.

He went on like this for a few days. Of course, Ponyboy knew he needed to eat something or he'd die, and to keep his brothers off his back. Sometimes, he'd eat something light at the DX when Two-Bit would take him over during lunch. Other times, he'd eat small portions of his supper to please Darry.

Come his next track practice, Ponyboy felt lighter. It had to have worked, he thought excitedly after he ran faster than he had since the start of the season. He did so well that his coach had complimented him! How hadn't he thought of this before? If he weighed less, obviously he'd run faster. Why didn't more runners do this?

But, as his unhealthy eating habits continued, the consequences of inadequate nutriments caught up to him. Ponyboy not only was feeling tireder and tireder, but he was looking thinner as the week went on.

One morning, Darry noticed how thin his brother looked as he stumbled out of his room. Eyebrows knitting together with worry, he called out. "Pony? Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he replied absently, wiping the sleep from his eyes.

Darry observed him, a frown tugging at his lips. "Have you been eating lately? You're looking thin."

Ponyboy almost smiled at the comment, but he forced it down, and nodded. "Sure I have."

"What about breakfast?" Darry inquired, getting to his feet and walking into the kitchen. "You want a piece of cake?"

"No, I'm not hungry."

"I want you to eat something before school, kid," Darry told him sternly, crossing his arms, and giving him a look that made it clear that he wasn't messing around.

Ponyboy sighed, realizing he wasn't getting out of this. Reluctantly, he nodded and let Darry serve him a slice of cake. As he looked down at the sugary dessert, his stomach twisted with disgust. Not too long ago, he would've gobbled it down happily, but now the idea of taking even the smallest bite upset him.

Darry waited, watching his brother struggle to take a bite. Finally, the younger boy forced a few bites down his throat, and then eventually the entire thing. Pleased to know that he had something in his stomach, Darry said goodbye, and left for work.

Once the truck could be heard pulling away, Pony wasted no time rushing into the bathroom and hurling up the cake into the toilet. His throat burned from stomach acid once he was done throwing his breakfast up, but it was only a small price to pay in his eyes.

Ponyboy got to his track practice after school, feeling rather shitty. The last thing the tired boy wanted to do was run, but he knew he had to. The first half an hour passed uneventfully. He forced himself to run, even though his entire body begged him to stop. He pushed his hunger away with large swallows of water, but water wasn't a perfect substitute.

His coach had him and a few other guys line up to race, but after he yelled for them to go, Ponyboy only got a quarter of the way through the race before his vision blurred. The track beneath his feet faded and within seconds he found himself on the ground.

"Curtis!" He recognized his coach's voice calling him, shaking his shoulders lightly. "Curtis, are you okay?"

Ponyboy nodded, but his coach didn't believe him. "Why don't you go back to the locker room, I'll phone your brother."

"No, I'm fine." Ponyboy tried to reassure, but it was no use. He was ushered back to the locker room to change, and then shamefully wait for Darry to pick him up.

How was he going to explain this to Darry? He was an athlete, wouldn't he, of all people, understand? Though, as he tried telling himself that, he knew it wasn't true. Darry would be livid to find out he'd been starving himself. Throwing on an old hoodie of Darry's, Ponyboy made his way to the front of the school and sat, waiting patiently for the lecture of a lifetime.

Even if Darry scolded him, and told him over and over how bad this new habit of his was, though, it would be too late. Ponyboy had found a way to control this one small aspect of his life, and he wasn't going to give it up that easily. No, not now.

[im-a-marion3tt3]

...at this point i might as well just make a home for myself in your inbox, haha !! (please please please tell me if i'm in here too often !!) i notice that you're still wanting fic requests so i can't stop myself from popping in again :0

i have two suggestions, but goodness, please don't feel pressured to write both. and if neither of them interest you, that's completely fine too !! <3 (as a cw, both requests are related to your sh/ed fics)

the first is a request for (yet another O_O) continuation of the swiss/phantom storyline. you've left me wanting more again, haha !! so perhaps swiss' screaming match conversation with dew and rain about their negative influence on phantom ?

if that doesn't take your fancy, the line in sickeningly sweet "sure he told mountain a lot but never that much" has also got me wanting more of your writing and storytelling ! i'd be really interested to know what you think phantom has and hasn't told mountain in regards to his issues with eating (and maybe even dew as well, because mountain mentioning that dew told him a few extra details that phantom hadn't has got my brain running wild with possibilities !!)

this got very long, i'm so sorry :0 and i have so, so much more to say about all of your writing too !!? but i'll leave this ask as it is for the moment, since it's already quite long <3

Omg sorry I took so long writing this. I like drowning in work rn but I finally have the time to write again! I like your idea of Mountain and Dew so here you go! Thank you for the suggestion so much and I hope you like it! Sorry it's a little short.

Dew was laid on Mountain's chest, the two of them inside of the green house on a reclining patio chair. Gently, Mountain dragged his hair through Dewdrops long hair as he gently hummed. He had been working with both Phantom and Dewdrop on their eating, being the only ghoul to have enough patience and not tell the two to "just eat". So he found himself here, enjoying the warmth of the greenhouse.

"How's Tom?" Dewdrop asked softly after a few minutes of silence. After Mountain had taken him through the list of genuinely concerning side effects, Dewdrop had felt terrible for what he had done and turned to worrying for Phantom far more than himself.

"He's getting there but it's not great. He cried over having to eat breakfast. It took him half an hour to even try it but it's better than last week when he simply fell asleep rather than ate," Mountain said in a sad tone. It had broken his heart to see the poor kit distraught over essentially nothing; but he knew it was basically everything to Phantom.

"I'm so sorry," Dewdrop whispered, his heart shattering some. Mountain just rubbed his back and sighed, feeling sorry for both of them.

"It's all my fault, Mountain, I was the one who started this," he murmured biting back tears before continuing on in a meek voice, "I d-didnt realize he was going to do this so sometimes I'd point out the calories in things I wouldn't eat. I didn't even think he knew what a calorie was. And I said so much hurtful shit after that too. I thought he wanted me to be mean to him, I really did. I thought I was making him better by being worse." Tears streaked down his face by this point as Mountain held him close, just letting him get it all out.

"And, and, I made him hate his favorite food. Do you remember when Copia would get him cakes or cookies or just something sweet after every concert? And how happy he was to get them? He was so proud of himself... And I said he looked so much better not having eaten that shit. That it showed on his hips and that it was the reason he was starting to look like a little piglet. Why did I ever say that? This is all my fault!" At this point Dewdrop was sobbing, his body shaking as he cried. Mountain just held him tightly and let him cry. To think that both of them thought like that though, it made him want to cry too. They were both getting better though, and that was what mattered. What had been said couldn't be undone, so all that was left was to hopefully undue the damages.

[aita-pathologicalliar-throwaway]

This had been fast... I've sent it last Friday.

Anyway, I came here simply to add some info from what I've gathered from the replies. I'm not necessarily here to change your minds, I'm already pretty much agreeing about a lot of things being said-but there's also some details that I didn't think of writing down when sending it.

You're a pathological liar

Absolutely. That's what growing up in my household was like. I've been trying to unlearn it, but it's a mechanical defense that has been ingrained into me so hard that I will revert to it when panicking. I lie first, then I think. That shit has been following me since I could talk.

Usually, I correct myself when I slip into a lie and most of my friends know about it (but it's usually small and innocent lies such as "Hey, do you have a cigarette?" - "No," I say despite lighting one up. Then I excuse myself and just give one if possible) and even B caught me doing that.

But as this one is kind of "special", I couldn't find a correction yet.

You should have said it was personal/You didn't have to give details

That's what I did when I explained to him (it's one of our games' friends, so he didn't know me before I changed) but it was over a month ago. As he let me literally live with him for an undetermined time, he wanted answers after a while. I only lied after he insisted to the point I had to reply. Especially after B didn't tell him either.

B might learn about the new lie and it will worsen everything

B is already aware of the lie. We might not live together anymore for now, but we are still in contact. As soon as I calmed down Friend, I've sent a message to B to tell him. He was highly disappointed, but he still thanked me. In short, he puts his teenage years behind (just like me) and would rather not have new friends starting to talk about it, and wanting to pity him.

We agreed that we'd keep going for this lie, but say that it was only online (Yes, this is still bad!) and that I never met them IRL. Probably that it was just a few days of texting.

You lied to your partner for 4 years

Yes and it ate me up at the beginning and often through the years. I just never found the right time or the strength to do it.

And right after I was forced to come clean, we had a long talk and everything was put on the table. Even if it wouldn't be everyone's case, but we mostly agreed that it could be way worse. B understands why I lied, and he told me that he doesn't know what he would have wanted and he's not sure that he wanted me to be honest about it. He was content with his life and had succeeded in keeping going.

He kind of had a closure when it came to me before we met. A few years before we met, but after I cut all contact with my family and changed my name, he searched after me out of morbid curiosity (and probably some kind of spiraling) but all he had found was a guilt-tripping/tear-inducing message on Facebook, from one of the people responsible of my coming in this world, crying over the loss of their son. They apparently made it sound like an obituary and, because there were no online activities from me at that time, or recently (because I used my brand new name and left all old accounts to rot), he assumed I died. I didn't know until the talk though.

It'll conclude those details.

In a week, we had a little progress with B and we started to text more. The break was mostly so he could get an appointment with his therapist to see with him if he's reacting appropriatly and just dealing with his feelings (but unless you're in a life/death case, therapy's appointment schedule is long) and he also wanted to see how he was dealing with the distance between us (does he miss me, or not). I also want to add that the last 4 years with him were the best in our lives, and when we see what happened in the world, it means a lot. He confirmed it to me that it was also his best years yet.

And I'll just finish on this: B knows everything about me now and there's no lies at all between us. Just his surprise birthday party coming up this summer, but we're all (friends group) in that lie.

@am-i-the-asshole-official

AITA for pretending I cheated on my partner when our common friend asked why we fought?

It will sound fake and fictional, but please bear with me because I'm getting crazy over it. And also sorry for any english mistake, we're not from an english speaking country.

To give some context: I am a man. There was this person, B(m), which whom I kind of grew up with. We went through the same schools from our 6 years old to 17 but we never were really friends. Then, around our 13, I got into a clique that fed into all my bad habits and I started to actively bully B because he seemed like an easy target at the time. I enjoyed it and was encouraged to do so (because I was such an asshole and I'm not even cringing thinking about it, it's worse. I regret it so much and I was a stupid and bad teenager). It was so bad that after years of enduring it, B changed school before we graduated and I went on with my life.

It' was's been about 15 years ago that I graduated.

In the meantime, I dealt with some problems that I had with my family and I went through intensive therapy which changed me for the better, and I came to terms with my sexuality as well.

Flashforward to 2019/2020, I meet with someone online through some games and it goes very well. Thanks to the Covid and the lockdowns, we play even more and get closer. At some point, I talk about an event happening close to my city, and he tells me that he knows about it as well and that we're living close to each other. Because we enjoyed our time online (ngl, we had started flirting although I didn't know how sincere it was) we decided to meet at that event.

And there, I find out that my online friend is B. It's extremely awkward but only for me because he cannot recognize me for three reasons: 1. I changed physically with my puberty finally finishing the job after my 18 birthday, and I found some love into dying my hair. 2. I changed in terms of personality thanks to the therapy I went through. 3. My legal name was changed when I said goodbye to this fucking family of mine and left without turning back (but I was getting sick just saying my last name).

I, obviously, didn't tell him anything about who I really was because I just wanted to enjoy that evening with a friend, and we didn't see each other since he left high school because of me. My plan was just to slowly distance myself from him after that evening but it failed because we had a lot of fun and we actually really hit off and I was dying constantly at the idea that he could find out.

We've been in a relationship sicne the beginning of 2021 and I was decided to just never tell him (horrifying idea I know, anyone with a braincell would have told me that it was bound to be found).

A month ago, I met with an old friend from high school (so yeah, he was in the bullying gang but more of a followers, so we stayed in friendly terms when we both agreed that it was bad) and as he recognized B, he decided to excuse himself and hoped that B would forgive him like he "forgave" me (I never got to tell that friend to shut up about that) so yeah, B found out that I was his main bully who had lied to him for almost 4 years now.

We had quite a big talk about it. How bad my bullying ended up for B; why I lied like that and never admitted it. And even if it went alright, B told me that he needed a break to think about things and it's going to be one month that I'm crashing at a common friend of us. At first, I just said that B and I got into a fight and it was good enough, but as it's been already a month, the friend asked more about it. Not wanting to bring up B's trauma to someone else (especially after our conversation), I just told the first lie that came to me and pretended that I cheated on B and he found out.

Now that common friend is calling me an asshole and keeps reminding me how much they are disappointed in me to have done something so horrifying to B. I keep wondering if I did well to lie like that, or if I should have found another way out.

[lifewithoutmeds]

September 4, 2023

The last two weeks have been really really rough. i spent the first few days after i found out the notice completely distraught, crying, unable to sleep, and almost unable to eat. just the millions of thoughts coursing through my head, my heart heavy, anxious, filled with dread. so much crying.

the next few weeks were also bad but not quite as bad. in the last week i only found myself crying for like 3-4 days out of the week. most days i'd get a little weepy/tear up, but on good days this would only last a few minutes when i talked about jadai specifically.

friends have really come out of the woodwork to help me out and be with me through this process. some have kinda flaked due to other responsibilities, but others really came through in a big way. i was a bit disappointed with gy and cl because we had planned to meet up, but then gy had a big deadline and cl was exhausted from the first week of school after not working for a year and a half and being heavily pregnant. but i really tried to work it out with journaling, lots of reflecting (some may call it unhealthy obsessive rumination), and talking to whoever would listen. patti scheduled a facetime meeting with me at 6pm on tuesday, august 15, followed by an emergency therapy session with kelda at 7. i was in the office wednesday but just kinda blankly stared at nothing. rather randomly i was called to oppahs, who had some mushrooms for me, and seeing my countenance, he finally asked what was up and i burst into tears and told him. he was oddly conciliatory and had some words of helpful wisdom for me. thursday i accidentally slept through most of my zoom psychiatrist appointment but she called last minute and i was able to give a five minute update on what was going on and i think she upped my prescription to 200 mg which i believe is the "effective dose." later that day alex (venice cg) met me up at a silver lake restaurant and consoled me, listened to me cry, and gave me much needed words of encouragement and wisdom. friday-sunday i drove up to nida's place. typically, she was busy with kids stuff. cooking, cleaning, picking the kids up from school. it was very hot and we went to the zoo which i thought would be funner than it was. we watched a terrible movie, some prequel to Snow White and The Huntsman that i zoned out of and stared at my phone instead. sometimes i played with the kids, mostly braden, who loves attention, and i did get a few minutes of good conversation with nida in which she told me about how she felt after past breakups, and how she felt that compatibility and timing were really important. how if scott hadn't had kids before he wouldn't be as responsible as he was now, which she needed since she needed kids. she reminded me a little of what alex had said, how some people have a story and they want to cast the characters, and they go through a casting list. it felt kind of ... weird to me. to just kind of want someone to fit into their lives to help achieve the trajectory of their own lives. it didn't feel really organic or i guess ... romantic? it felt more like interviewing candidates for a job and trying to see who was the best fit, but ... i guess that's what it kind of is. it can't just be emotion and feelings andn passion and admiration and attraction. ultimately there does need to be a real meeting of time minds in terms of values and direction, hopes and dreams, etc.

on monday i randomly called my mom and inadvertently burst into tears. she was alarmed and came right over, picking me up a salad and a rotisserie chicken from the local sprouts which we ate together. she was so sad seeing me so sad, and said she was so sorry, but she also said that jadai is very likable. it wouldn't just be me who liked her, she was incredibly attracting and her being a lawyer made her more attractive and impressive, even to me. she also talked about how i couldn't compare myself to her athleticism and her desire and ability to participate in really extreme sports, saying that growing up as sick as she was, she wouldn't even dream of those things, but that she just did the best she could, struggling through each day, and she didn't see herself as lazy or unmotivated or selfish. she prided herself on doing the best she could, every day, and that helped me with some perspective.

on tuesday i drove up to santa clarita and coworked with danielle, who lives with her cute labradoodle, which was a bit distracting since she liked to yelp when she wanted attention. it was nice to have someone sharing space, and it would at times start sobbing and she was incredibly helpful, incredibly kind, compassionate, empathetic. we took the dog on a couple walks, ate lunch together (she ordered zankou), and afterward met her friend heidi at a restaurant in newhall where i treated drinks and snacks.

i woke up the next day, feeling strangely better. i just felt kind of refreshed, and a little emptied of sadness. i think the company and just being able to express myself was helpful.

on thursday i had another facetime therapy session with kelda in which she had gone through past notes and reminded me of some of the struggles, the fights, the frustrations i had with jadai and our relationship. she said to remind myself of these times too, and not just on the good times, which were constantly making me sad.

not sure what happened to friday. probably the usual? work, and then lying down and reading stories about break ups, failed marriages, sad celebrity downfalls, and true crime.

saturday amy was supposed to come over and we had all day free (supposedly) but then she said not in the morning, and by the time i texted back in the afternoon she said it was too late. which was disappointing but ended up being just as well, because i ended up meeting lorena and we got massages at my favorite silverlake thai massage place, then went to go get thai food in thai town and it was good food and good company.

sunday i walked to the embassy suites in hilton where i met up amy and her county counsel friend at the pool where i had homemade mimosas and cried a bit about the news. amy was nice and talked a bit about how after her first engagement didn't come to fruition, she ended up training for a marathon for distraction. later that day i met up kendy and matt for burgers and drinks in santa monica, then for a short hike at will rogers, but i had a mild headache from the morning's mimosas and wasn't as sharp as usual, but remember feeling incredibly loved and understood by my friends and wanting to see them more, because they made me feel lifted up, encouraged, seen, in ways that others hadn't.

tuesday was in office with lunch.

i think wednesday was just work, and then thursday i teleworked with amir, who just goofed off all day, was mostly on the phone, while i worked up a storm. we went to costco and picked up california rolls/sushi for lunch, and then came back and ended up hanging out with cesar for a while, drinking beer and wine, and chatting with his wife and kidding around with his cute kid. it was good to be in the company of people and talk about things other than myself actually.

no recollection of thursday, but friday was my RDO and i met up with caroline at a local place for brunch in burbank where i talked and cried and she consoled me and i was reminded of how good a friend was and how we had had some good times, especially traveling.

saturday i picked up jenny unni and went to lana's house for sawyer's bday. the food was good, and julia took me aside to hug me while i cried and said nice things. afterward i went to long beach to hang out with LD and her group of gaysians. the hostess was none other than stacy's cousin! we hung out til maybe 10, with me drinking the whiskey i had brought, and it was nice just chatting with other lesbian asians.

lastly on sunday, amy, ray's wife, came over around 10am and we headed over to switzer falls for a hike. it was about three hours and we talked nonstop, her about her work, her therapy, and me about the break up, etc. it was therapeutic both physically and psychologically, and i think i've found a friend and exercise buddy, and this was the first time i had broken 15,000 steps since maybe may when my first breakdown occurred, and it felt nice to feel so physically drained.

today is monday, labor day. i took a short walk, did some dishes, and did a bit of tidying. even went for a short 17-minute walk while listening to the read, and even managed to smile 1-2 times. i'll be heading out to hang with rhiannon for a bit, so i need to go, but today feels .... not so bad. sometimes the news hits me viscerally, like a punch in the gut, and leaves me gasping for air. other times it feels like a distant memory, still there, but in a distance, and not as painful, a bit far from me, but not drowning me. i hope it gets better. also there's this odd tendency seemingly, of once i write and express how much better i feel, something terrible befalls me and just swipes me off my feet. here's hoping that doesn't happen this time.

[thoughtsofnowandagain]

21 feb 2023

Hello

It's been a while since I last put my thoughts down in words. I'd say probably 10 years, you know. Thats a whole ass decade.

Back then, I think I was more of a manifester. Maybe more like a romanticizer. This time, I want to embrace how in feeling in the now rather than doing it at the end of the day and not really sticking to the transcript.

I'm almost 25. I'm currently watching New Girl on a Tuesday lunch time. I got out of bed and hour ago and made myself a giant salad for lunch/ breakfast. Yesterday I had a left over samosa from a takeaway the night before for breakfast and a Lamb Balti Curry that I ordered but didn't eat for lunch. I made my own rice and for the first time, I ate it like an indian with my hands and it's 100% tastier. It's really true that the flavors really marry together when you eat with your hand.

I am self employed, which is why I have the freedom of watching New Girl on a Tuesday. I am a bridal make up artist and a beauty therapist. I have my own cabin studio in my back garden where I work from and I go to venue to venue for my make up artistry.

I live with my boyfriend Sam, who is a Car Salesman (though I'm sure he'd call himself something more elaborate, because he does more than just sales, he does all the admon, test drives, everything! He works so hard!) We've been together 4 years and it's been the best! The lockdown years were hard but we got through it and since the new year, he's adopted a 'Calm and Collected' persona and I've felt a difference in our relationship. He's always been loving and kind but he over reacts a lot. That sounds bad. I mean like if he stubs his toe, he'll scream about it and he'll ruin the rest of the day for himself. Or if he's cooking (very rare) in the kitchen, he'll get overwhelmed and storm away, which then I have to take over and it leaves a sour taste in our mouths for the rest of the evening. He's also quit vaping since the new year and he's done really well! He's a little overweight (I love his body and his fat belly, it's the most attractive thing to me) but I've always told him to eat better, for the sake of his heart. He's been going to the gym consecutively for the past 2 nearly 3 weeks! He's done so well!

If you can't tell, I'm very much in love with that boy.

I have a small circle of friends. Megan and Hannah. I've been friends with Megan since primary school, and we met Hannah in secondary school. Grew apart after school and only recently we've gotten much closer. I think we've been going to dinners together almost every month for the past year and I have to say it's been one of my favourite nights of the month!

Megan's about to elope and get married to Joe. I've never formally met him, just the odd hello whenever he drops Meg off and picks her up again. He asked me a couple weeks ago to host a Hen Do for Meg and offered to pay for Meg's side. Probably due to the lack of time he's given us. We're going into the City and going to this crazy golf place which I've been dying to go since it opened. It's got lots of sex paraphernalia and no Hen Do is complete without its fair share of Dicks.

In college, I was friends with Amera and I had a boyfriend called George. Me and Amera became friends with a lot of George's friends but as time we on, I think I realised how tired I was. I was absolutely exhausted from pretending to be who I wasn't which sounds so cliche. It turns out I'm not that party hard type of girl, at least not for very long. I'm a be home by 11pm and sleep in the nude with my boyfriend type of a girl. And I love that life. And that's okay.

I don't talk to that group of people anymore. I wish them all the best. I've had to block Amera and her friends because I felt so sad every time I see them on socials because that's not who I am anymore. They're thriving and though I'm happy with my life, my social battery isn't what it is anymore. And that's okay.

[mountswhore]

𝐢 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 — mason mount

summary: being declan’s sister, you saw mason so much, and yet you never got along with him. until one night, one kiss, and you were both hooked on each other.

notes: requests are OPEN.

for @mountswdw

“Y/N, it’s Lauren’s birthday soon,” Declan reminded you, as you had just answered the phone. Your brother had been ringing you non-stop for the last hour, painfully unaware you had an office job, unlike him. So you couldn’t always be on your phone. You sat in your car, waiting for your brother to end the call so you could drive home after a particularly draining day.

“Hello to you, too.”

“Sorry,” he apologised, and you put your phone on speaker, attaching it to it’s stand and reaching for your lunch bag. You barely ate today, and you had to cut your lunch short to make time for a meeting. Seeing the unopened pasta box made your mouth slightly water, barely registering what Declan was saying.

“It’s Lauren’s birthday soon,” Declan repeated, checking outside the bedroom window to overlook the driveway, hoping his girlfriend was yet to return home, “we’re having a party, she told me to invite you. It’s up to you whether you come or not.” And you let out a heavy sigh.

A party at Declan’s meant you’d see a bunch of people, who would be shocked at the fact that Declan had a sister that he’d never before mentioned. But the two of you lived very separate lives, so why would he mention you? The annoyance of having to mingle with footballers and friends was tiring enough, not to mention, one footballer specifically.

Mason Mount.

He was Declan’s best friend, they’d been friends for years. And as much as you tried to get along with him, you just didn’t. You’d always see him as you were dropping something off to Declan’s, or have to make small talk as the two of them arrived at your home to pick something up. It was just a handful of awkward encounters and you couldn’t find it in yourself to like him. And you assumed he only felt the same, as he never made the effort to talk first or start a conversation with you, he just sat in an awkward silence and waited for Declan to finish whatever the hell he was doing.

“I guess I’ll come. When is it?” You asked. The only thing that persuaded you was the alcohol, and Lauren. If you had nothing to enjoy at that party, you had those two things. And you could just about manage that.

“This weekend. I’ll send you the details.”

A party wasn't the most appealing thing to you on this Saturday night. You'd much rather catch up on sleep you missed throughout the week, or allow yourself to finally relax. But you were doing this for Declan and Lauren, nobody else. And you just had to remind yourself of that every time you encounter someone you didn't want to speak to.

The moment you arrived at the party, that had Declan's house swarmed with people, you felt out of place. Being sober just wasn't cutting it, you felt stupid just hugging yourself in a corner. But it seemed as if you were in God's bad books today, as the moment you approached the island of drinks, your usual was empty. All that was left was an empty bottle of Vodka with the cap missing.

"There you are," Declan panted, catching his breath as he leant against the island, holding a finger up for you to give him a minute, "would you mind doing a beer run with Mason? You two are the only people that are sober."

"How did you know I was sober?"

"Mason said you haven't had a drink since you got here," Declan commented, and you felt yourself shiver to think that Mason had been watching you.

And here you were, five minutes later, drowned in awkward silence sat next to Mason in the car. The two of you had known each other for so long, and yet couldn't stomach a conversation. You were two completely different people, you had no interests, none of the same humour, you just felt awkward around him. There was a tension you couldn't quite read.

It had stayed in this awful silence until you arrived back at Declan's, you were cradling the bag of drinks in your lap when Mason finally parked. You didn't feel quick enough getting out of the car, and Mason had stopped you. He grabbed your arm to stop you. He watched your face contort with confusion, and he didn't know what to do from here. He had your attention, now what?

"If you get bored, come find me."

You were back in your corner, now cradling your usual drink, and watching Mason. He would briefly interact with someone, giving them nothing more than a laugh and a pat on the back, before he returned to staring at his drink and downing it. What did he mean by finding him if you were bored? What did he plan on doing with you? You'd never properly spoken, never had a conversation, in the years you'd known him. And now he suddenly wants to make sure you're having fun at a party?

You'd had enough drink to no longer overthink it, and you were strutting over to Mason, a newfound confidence in your bloodstream. He watched you from the moment you started moving towards him, your sexy silhouette, like a devil in disguise. He admired the rare outfit change, as he'd usually see you in jeans and some little top. But this dress, this was your dress.

"Bored?"

You nodded, and Mason stood up. He'd stolen all of your confidence in that very moment, he was the one that was very much in control. The house was dark, specific coloured lighting making it hard to see who was who, so Mason grabbed your hand. It shocked you, it had you so stunned, you barely registered walking up the stairs and into Declan's guest room.

"So," Mason sighed, laying on the bed with his arms behind his head, "what do you plan on doing to cure this boredom?" Furrowing your brows, you sat beside him.

"You were the one who said to find you if I was bored," you reminded him, laying down next to him and moving your hair from your shoulders. Mason stared at the exposed skin of your shoulders and upper chest. So clean, so pure. The thoughts in his mind were something he never thought he'd be thinking about Declan's sister.

"I thought you'd have an idea, and count me in, because I'm equally as bored."

You turned to face him, studying his features. His tanned skin, his freckles that splattered over his nose and cheeks, the way his eyelashes curled around his lids, and the smile he'd given you once he realised you were looking at him. You couldn't lie to yourself and say he wasn't beautiful, because he was. He most definitely was.

"Why haven't we spoken before?" You asked truthfully, mind blissfully unaware of the thoughts Mason was having as he looked down at your boobs. You kept your eyes trained onto his, needing this answer more than anything.

Mason let out a small hum. "I guess we just didn't have the chance. I was always there for Declan, never for you. But I can change that."

You didn't know whether it was the drink in your systems, or just years of sexual tension finally dissolving, but you found your lips on Mason's. And you could hardly find it in yourself to take them off. The way his hands felt on you, the way his small moans sounded as you tugged on his lip, it was everything you wanted.

Your head was aching, you felt icky. Hangovers were the bane of your existence, and nothing felt worse than crawling down your brother's stairs and seeing a smirking Lauren staring back at you. You were a reckless drunk, never violent, more embarrassing to the more sober version of yourself, and your antics were never remembered but always explained back to you.

"What's the face for?" You asked, placing your hand against the piping hot kettle, Lauren having boiled it minutes before your arrival. You heard her giggle as you made yourself a tea, padding over to the island and sitting opposite her.

"Have fun, did we?"

"I don't know, birthday girl," you mentioned, keeping your hands around the mug to hold onto that warmth that you missed from the guest bed already, "spare me the details, remember Declan is my brother." Lauren snorted, finishing her tea with one gulp and forgetting about the mug to her side.

"Where did you sleep?" Lauren inquired, brows furrowed as she leant forward. This was like an interrogation, and you were a falsely accused suspect.

"In the guest room."

"With who?"

"What's with all these questions?"

"Come on," Lauren giggled lightly, "tell me. The boys are out finding breakfast, it stays between us."

You could trust Lauren, you always have. Anything you didn't feel comfortable telling Declan, you told her. And that's what birthed your girly chats about boys, her constant text messages to say a boy that was completely your type was behind her in a queue, or sitting next to her on the train. But how could you tell Lauren something you weren't even sure of yourself?

"Mason and I slept together." You admitted, and Lauren seemed to burst with joy, "I didn't think much of it last night, just a small, non-committal shag. But now I feel even more confused." You were thinking out loud, everything you said to Lauren was just turning around in your head. Maybe she could make sense of it.

Lauren seemed interested, she was bouncing with excitement at the sound of your retelling of last night. You couldn't remember much, but you remembered kissing him. Feeling years of weird attraction and tension to him, and finally doing something about it. Did he see you the same way? Or did he just want something to keep him entertained for the night? Would he go back to his footballer lifestyle and forget about you?

"How was it?"

"I don't really remember it, we were both pretty hammered," you confessed, finally sipping on your tea and sighing, the liquid warming your insides, "it's weird, though. I've kissed a lot of people, but nothing felt like him. Like his lips. All this time I thought we just didn't get along, but we clearly do."

"Do you like him?" Lauren questioned.

"I keep thinking about it, our time together last night." You shivered, not realising you were biting your lip until Lauren looked down at it, "I wonder if it means anything to him."

[aki-mochi]

Levi x Reader: Drunk Love

WARNING: NSFW!! Levi stood there, completely nude, in front of Erwin and Hanji as he covered his stuff while avoiding their gazes. His cheeks turning pink with his hair messy with fly-aways in every direction and his body covered in bites and hickeys. Erwin stood in Levi's living room, not amused, while Hanji was laughing until she was in tears.

"Sooo...you wanna tell me why you are...?" Erwin trailed off.

"I dunno....I-I...just woke up like this...."

"You were drinking last night, huh?" Erwin asked, more like stated.

"A little...." he mumbled, then clicked his tongue.

"Woooow Levi~!" Hanji laughed more.

"Shut up" Levi slightly growled as he tried to remember his actions last night.

~flashback~

Levi sat at a table in a bar with a few of his friends and co-workers, passing time and attempting to get away from the stress of work. Eren, who happened to be one of his best workers, offered him some food while drinking his drink. No sooner did another song start to play, a familiar woman entered the bar with Mikasa.

"I've never been in a bar.” Mikasa stated.

"We can't buy alcoholic beverages so we can just have water and some food. Give us some free time from all the work we've been asked to do." Y/n replied.

She nodded in agreement, looking around at her surroundings only to see the men at Levi's table looking towards them. Truth be told, Y/n and Mikasa worked in the same building as Levi, just on different floors. The two had met on a few occasions and even had small talk in the elevator whenever they were going to the same floor for meetings, but never actually got close to one another.

Levi glanced at the two as they came in and made a bit of a face. "I guess they're getting the same thing you are, Eren." He smirked behind his glass as he looked at Eren's drink suited for him being underaged. Eren pouted and gave somewhat of a glare towards his boss. "If you weren't my boss, and I wanted to not get fired, I'd slap you like I do Horse-face." He mumbled in his glass of apple juice.

"You sound like you're plenty drunk on apples," Levi stated as he set his glass down. "Now you finally have a chance to talk to that girl. I've seen you eyeing her at work." Hearing his comment, Eren did a spit-take with his drink; coughing and pounding his chest a bit. Once he got his breath back, he looked at Levi like he grew two heads.

"Are you insane or drunk?!" He slightly yelled in a whispered tone.

"I'm neither. You shout about being better at your job than The Titan Company down the road but you can't even talk to a girl."

"Yeah?! W-well what about the girl you stare at?! You seem like you stalk her!"

"The only time I even see her is on the elevator. Are you sure you aren't drinking beer?" Levi retorted.

"I'm underage to be drinking unless someone spiked it when I wasn't looking." Eren calmly stated as he took another drink.

"If no one did, they might need to so you can actually grow some balls for at least an hour and act like a man instead of a loud little kid."

Eren glared. "Shut the hell up....I do act mature. Just on some levels." He, then, turned away to stare at the ebony female with a slight blush on his slightly dark skin.

”Can you prove that?" Levi smirked at Eren's attitude.

"What did you say?" Eren growled, thinking his boss is picking a fight when he doesn't feel like throwing a punch while Mikasa is here.

"I said to prove that you aren't a child and go talk to her," Levi told him.

"Fine. I will." He suddenly stood up and walked towards the two sisters, feeling confident in his moves. Levi smirked as he watched, wanting to see how much of a train wreck it would turn into. But the minute Eren was only five steps away, he froze. His face turned a sheer scarlet red and felt his palms get sweaty. But what he didn't expect to happen, was that Mikasa noticed him and gave a small wave to him, making him lose his cool and speed-walking back to his seat before face planting the table. Mikasa flushed a faint pink but couldn't help to give a minuscule smirk from his failure to walk over.

"You’re a wuss" Levi muttered.

"Fuck you....." Eren mumbled against the table.

Levi smirked and took a sip of his whiskey before standing. "Let me show you how it's done," he stated as Eren groaned and watched him as he made his way towards the girls.

Levi walked over to the older of the two with a confident stride, the alcohol taking the edge off of his normal attitude. Y/n was too busy talking to Mikasa to notice him. Taking a french fry off her plate, she ate it and smiled as she was talking about her latest masterpiece for the company due to being in the advertising department. Mikasa mentioned a work project that’s due next week before looking over Y/n's shoulder to see the male.

"This seat taken?" Levi asked.

Y/n turned towards the voice of the male and her eyes widened. "M-Mr. Ackerman....! It's nice to see you again." She smiled softly at him.

"The same to you" he stated. "We don't see each other often. I thought we could talk."

"Of course! Come sit with me!" She smiled and patted the seat on the other side of her. He gladly sat, looking towards Eren and winking in success mainly to show off before talking to the two women. Eren growled and slammed his hands on the table and walked over once more before offering a hand at the grey-eyed female.

"May I sit with the beauty who I'm looking at~?" He asked with a smile.

Mikasa looked and blushed brightly at his words but nodded. “Sure."

With a small hum, Eren sat beside her before gently holding her waist to bring her closer to him. Her blush darkened, looking at her plate of food like it was the most interesting thing in the world.

Y/n eyed the boy, a little surprised at his actions before drinking her iced water, smirking behind her glass as she knew Mikasa has a crush on him. Levi rolled his eyes, ignoring Eren as he talked to Y/n, keeping up a conversation about her interests. About an hour later, Levi was not feeling like his usual self. His cheeks were flushed while his eyes were dilated, black pupils taking up more of his steel-blue corneas. Y/n had offered to take him home while Mikasa stayed with Eren since he's completely sober. After that, Mikasa waved as she left with the green-eyed boy.

He tried to refuse, saying he was fine but she insisted, eventually giving up as he slumped over the table. Y/n slung one of Levi's arms around her neck; the other around his waist while leading him outside. Digging in his back pocket for his wallet and keys, she pressed a button to activate its panic alarm. Upon hearing a frantic horn, she turned to her left to see the flashing lights of a sleek black Ford Mustang. After calming the automobile, she gently helped a drunk Levi into the passenger side before slipping herself behind the wheel. Y/n opened up his wallet and found a small piece of paper with his name and address written in beautiful cursive. Pulling up the GPS on her phone, she punched in his home address to help her navigate before revving up the engine and beginning to drive to him home.

Levi did his best to keep the alcohol's side effects from taking over, grinning as he remembered the feeling of her hand in his pocket but stayed quiet until they got to his house. Once Y/n had gotten him out of his car and into his house, after she had unlocked the door with his keys, she walked him to his room and placed him in bed. She gave a small huff from how heavy he is for a short man. As she tried to leave the room, Levi had grabbed her wrist to keep her in place.

"(Y/n)," he muttered.

"Levi. You're drunk. You need to rest." She said softly so as not to hurt his pounding head.

"Only if you rest with me." He said, not because of how many shots he’s had, but because he’s wanted her since the first day he saw her and this was the only way he could get himself to say it. Y/n smiled and pried his hand off her arm so she could help him get comfortable by stripping him of his clothes. Y/n flushed a scarlet red when he was now only in his briefs which held a proud tent.

He smirked a bit as he watched her. "You can look if you want"

"I-I rather not, thank you...." she stuttered before going to find him some bed clothes he could wear; giving him time to look over her body that was shown by the jeans and shirt she's wearing. Her hair pulled up into a ponytail and her feet dressed in regular tennis shoes. He blushed from more than the booze in his system as he looked over her, letting her help him dress before laying in the bed with him. Y/n covered him up along with herself and sighed softly as she turned her back to him so she can sleep since it's after midnight.

But with Levi still drunk, he couldn't go to sleep. No. He didn’t want to go to sleep. He had a beautiful woman in his bed and he wanted her to be his woman. No one else’s. Levi took advantage of his drunk state and suddenly rolled Y/n onto her back, pinning her to the bed. She blinked, shocked from his sudden actions.

"L-Levi....?" she stuttered.

"Y/n.....~” he purred in her ear while sliding his hands up her shirt, making her shiver at his cold slender hands on her heated skin. "Let me love you," he whispered before colliding her lips with his own, making her body stiffen. She soon felt intoxicated by his touch and kissed him back, craving for more as she entangled her fingers into his soft black hair as she moaned.

Levi kissed her deeply as his hands made their way to her breasts, feeling the soft flesh against his skin. Arching her back at the feeling, she pulled away from his lips for air but gasping the minute he latches his own to her sensitive neck. She moaned his name when he bit her neck then pulled back with a smirk. Y/n looked down to see that Levi had, somehow, stripped her bare naked without her noticing. Trailing kisses down her body, she moaned and ran her fingers through his hair again as she closed her legs when he got between them. He rubbed her thighs soothingly before kissing them to help her relax. Once he thought she was ready, Levi opened her legs and placed his head between them. His tongue slid along her folds before flicking at her clit. Her hips jolted upwards while her fingers tugged at his hair, giving loud lewd moans.

Levi smirked and started to go faster, making her squirm and squeal in complete ecstasy as he tasted every inch of her. He then sucked her bundle of nerves into his mouth as his tongue did wonders. Y/n panted as she arched her back off the bed while her head flew back into the pillows, desperately wanting to move away but his hands held her down in place as he ravished her more. His teeth gently grazed her clit, making her lose control of the volume of her moans as they got even louder before she finally released with a squeak. But Levi kept going, making her beg as he continued to drain her of every drop before pulling off with a small pop. A trembling Y/n laid there panting heavily as Levi licked her clean, sitting up to look down at the beautiful sight under him. Levi chuckled and laid beside her with his arm draped over her waist.

Y/n calmed down from her overstimulated high before she made the bold move to pin him to the bed instead. Levi looked up at her in slight shock from the sudden move before his breath started to hitch when she started to rub the bulge in his pants. She hummed and stripped him bare of any clothes before suddenly going down to suck his cock. Levi's hips bucked at the sudden pleasure of her hot mouth on him, panting as he felt her tongue do circles around the tip.

"(Y-Y/n)~" Levi moaned as he gripped the sheets. "Ngh...! I-I'm gonna....! Ah!" he gave a loud moan as he came in her mouth. Y/n swallowed it all, a little disappointed that he came that quick, and sat up before marking him in hickeys and love bites, loving the sounds that were coming from his mouth. After she was satisfied with her work, she straddled his hips before pushing herself onto him, making her gasp and him moan. When she felt comfortable, she bounced on him as her hands rested on his chest. Loud slapping noises of skin colliding and loud moans filled the room. Y/n decided to bounce faster and go all the way down, earning her a loud moan from Levi as he gripped her hips to help her keep steady.

Pretty soon they both hit their high and came together. Y/n collapsed onto Levi's chest, panting heavily as he held her close to him. Having to pull out, he laid both their bodies on the bed and pulled her to his chest after covering them both with the blanket and going to sleep.

~back to the present~

Y/n walked out of the bathroom only to see a naked Levi standing there, in front of his boss and co-worker as he tried to suppress his blush. Smirking, the said female walked over and wrapped her arms around his waist from behind and satisfied hum.

"Don't worry, Mr. Smith~. Levi was a good boy last night with all the moans I made him do~."

At that, Hanji ran out with Erwin on her tail, trying to suppress their nose bleeds while Levi was a blushing mess at the moment from her comment. Y/n laughed at his reaction and kissed him briefly before giving him a warm smile and going to make breakfast. Levi sighed as he went back to his room to get dressed.

'Maybe getting drunk wasn't so bad after all......'

[rowanaelinn]

Slipped away - chapter one

prompt - single parent @rowaelinscourt

“It’s cold,” Fenrys complained, sitting on Rowan’s new couch.

“We are in the north, you dumbass.” Lorcan snapped. “Of course it’s colder than what you’re used to.”

“Doranelle is in the North too.”

Lorcan took a deep breath, apparently, he wasn’t feeling very patient today. “I don’t know, Fenrys, it might be because we are on a whole other continent, maybe?”

Rowan snorted at his friends, Fenrys was playing dumb just to annoy Lorcan and as always, it worked. They were enjoying their last day of rest before their first day of work tomorrow. It wasn't a new job, not really. The company they worked for had just moved from Doranelle to Orynth, and of course, Rowan and the other employees had to move too.

Rowan knew that with the opening of the new Valg Industries headquarters the next few months would not be smooth sailing, but he believed in himself. Maeve was so confident that she even promoted him. It was a new beginning for Rowan and he was happy about it, his life in Doranelle was the perfect definition of dull. Not that he hated it, he was just glad to be away from his cousins. He didn’t hate them, they were just so… meddlesome.

Rowan walked into his kitchen and opened his fridge, empty. He cursed under his breath. The few bottles of beer he had last night ran out very quickly, they didn’t even have leftovers of the pizza they ordered yesterday. Which was a problem because Rowan was starving and there was no way he would order food for the second night in a row, it had already bothered him to do so yesterday.

He checked his watch, six in the afternoon. He was pretty sure the grocery store didn’t close before seven, he had little time if he wanted to go there. He needed to be quick. “Going shopping, be gone when I come back,” Rowan told his friends as he picked his car key. He needed some time alone but he knew they would probably still be there when he came back, his friends weren’t ones to listen.

He slammed the front door behind him and got into his car. It still smelled new, the leather still a little too stiff under Rowan's body. He had gotten the car yesterday, he had decided that if he was going to change his life, he would do it all the way. Nothing in his life in Doranelle set foot in Terrasen except his friends and his job.

Rowan lived in an upscale residence in downtown Orynth. Between his family's money and the money he was making even before he was promoted, he could afford it. He didn't want to live in the apartments that the company offered to its employees, he needed some peace and quiet.

So Rowan took a house that was too big for him, in a suburb full of family, as if he wasn't almost thirty and wasn't still alone. He had never felt so out of place, but he would get used to it.

He had chosen the opposite of the life he had until then, wanting space. He had left to forget.

When he pulled into the grocery store parking lot, Rowan could have sworn he saw a familiar face. He blinked and it was gone, he shook his head. How could he recognize anyone if he had never been to Terassen? He needed to sleep.

He got out of his car and shivered slightly. Maybe Fenrys was right, it wasn't cold but it was definitely colder than Doranelle at this time of year.

He walked into the store, it was large. Everything in Terassen looked big. The houses, the buildings, the stores... Rowan could get used to it.

He took a basket from the entrance and went straight to the vegetables. The store was almost empty considering the time of day, he could hear a couple of kids laughing in the background but otherwise, everything was quiet. It felt good to be away from the world.

He selected enough vegetables for three days, preferring to shop for short periods rather than a whole week. It made less mess and allowed him to control what he ate. That's one of the things he needed, control.

"Gotcha!" He heard a woman's voice laugh rather loudly.

"Noooo!" A little girl said and Rowan heard her laugh and ran. Gods, children were loud.

A few seconds later, something hit Rowan's legs. He looked down to find a little girl. She was a brunette with blue eyes. She laughed and stood up. "Sorry," she said before running off again to lose whoever was trying to catch her, but it was too late. A tall blonde lady came running up and threw herself on top of the little girl, grabbing her under the arms and throwing her over her shoulder. The little girl screamed with laughter and tried to struggle as the adult spun around. "Stop!" the child screamed but continued to laugh.

Rowan felt like he was intruding but he couldn't stop the tip of his lips from rising slightly. The adult stopped spinning but did not let go of the child, the little one wrapped her arms around the woman's neck and hid her head. "Hey, little monster, did you apologize?" She asked, her eyes still on the little one. Rowan couldn't see her face with the hair hiding it. "Huh?" She shook the little girl slightly but she refused to look at her.

"She did," Rowan said, not wanting the little girl to get into trouble. When the woman looked at him, his heart stopped beating and his whole body froze. It was impossible.

Did the gods hate him that much? What had he done to them for them to punish him like that?

Her eyes widened and he noticed her body going still, her hold around the girl tightening. Her mouth opened and then closed.

As he had been years before, he was struck by the intensity of Aelin Galathynius’s gaze. These blue and gold eyes were mesmerizing, had always been and always will.

His only thought was that she looked older, but since he had last seen her when she was nineteen it wasn’t surprising. She looked like a woman now, and womanhood suited her. She was wearing a white shirt and black skirt, a simple outfit for a working woman, and yet Rowan couldn’t help but stare longer than necessary at her body. If she had been beautiful seven years ago, she was magnificent now.

He wanted to punch himself in the face, so much work to forget about everything that happened, so much work to ignore the guilt and pain just to be ruined by a meeting in a grocery store.

“Rowan,” she breathed.

“Hi, Aelin.”

The little girl looked at him and he noticed everything she had in common with Aelin. Her eyes first, and the same nose and lips. They looked so similar.

Suddenly he was struck by the truth standing in front of him. While it had taken everything in him to try to forget about her, Aelin had moved on. And she had a daughter. Aelin had a life and if the laugh she let out a minute before was any indication, she was happy.

“What are you doing here?” He blurted.

A snort. “What am I doing in a grocery store?”

“In Orynth.”

“This is my hometown.” She said, her voice so tight he couldn’t guess what she might be feeling. It had always been so damn hard to read her. Orynth was her hometown? How come he never knew that? He knew she was from Terassen, her accent betraying her, but didn’t know exactly where. He knew so much about her but at the same time so little. That little truth hurt. “What are you doing here?”

“I moved. For work.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” Fuck, that was awkward. “How old is your daughter?” He asked, nodding toward the small girl playing with Aelin’s hair. Aelin looked at her and her expression softened a little.

“Oh, no. She isn’t my…” She took a deep breath. “She’s Aedion and Lysandra’s daughter. I’m just babysitting for the night.” Right, Aedion. That’s why the small girl looks so much like Aelin. “Remember Aedion?”

Of course, he did, last time he saw the man Rowan got his nose broken and a black eye. He wouldn’t forget his old friend so soon. But Rowan didn’t care about that, right now he only cared that Aelin, in fact, didn’t have a daughter. It was easier to breathe suddenly. “Yeah.”

“But she’s four,” Aelin said and he knew it was only so she had something to say. Talking was awkward but the silence was worse.

Before he could say anything else, someone interrupted them by hitting Aelin’s legs, hugging them. This girl was blonde, Ashryver blonde. Gods, how many children did Lysandra and Aedion have?

The youngest paused on the ground and did not waste time before leaving from where she came. Aelin seemed to forget Rowan's entire existence as she knelt down to face the child, though she looked even tenser than a few minutes before.

"Hey, pumpkin, what's going on?" She asked softly, delicately taking the girl's grip to force her to look at her. "Tell me."

"Asper pulled my hair!" The girl cried and Aelin smiled.

"Did you try to tickle his neck?" She asked, making Rowan choke. Aelin didn’t spare him a glance. He wanted to ask her why she wasn’t punishing this Asper for pulling hair but he guessed Aelin would beat him up if he questioned how Aedion chose to raise his children. “You know how sensitive he is.” She smiled at the child. The girl sniffed heavily and Aelin used her sleeve to dry her tears. "Go back over there, I'll be there in two minutes." The child nodded briskly and before she left, she turned her head to Rowan.

His blood ran cold as green eyes fixed on him.

She looked like Aelin on the little one before, of course, but not only that. Did she... No. Lysandra had green eyes too. Rowan could have sworn that Lysandra's eyes were much lighter, but he hadn't seen her in seven years. He was wrong. He had to be wrong.

"Hi!" She said with a big smile. She was missing a tooth in the front, but that didn't take away from her charm.

Rowan swallowed, "Um, Hi." He managed to smile but he couldn't help that she looked too little like Lysandra.

“Are you a grandpa?” The girl asked and Rowan choked. “Only grandpa has grey hair.” She smiled and looked proud of herself. Silver, his damn hair is silver, not grey.

"Go ahead, Helia," Aelin said before Rowan could answer, her voice firm. She pushed the little one toward the alley away from Rowan. Aelin stood up when the little one was gone and his eyes shot to hers.

"It was nice to see you again," she said but he knew she was thinking the exact opposite. Rowan's heart was beating so loudly that Rowan could hear it pounding in his ears.

"Aelin," He called to her, stopping her in her tracks. " Just how... How old is she?"

"Bye, Rowan." Her voice left no room for questions, but he didn't care. He didn't care about what happened in college and now wasn't the time to start.

"Answer me." Not a question and she knew it. He could swear he saw the gold ring in her eyes flutter, a sign he had learned to recognize as anger. Well, let her be angry, he deserved answers.

"Ace, is everything okay?" A man with nearly black hair and sapphire blue eyes asked him. A boy a little taller than Helia was sitting on the man's shoulders and when Rowan saw his green eyes...

He had to be wrong.

"Aelin?" The man asked again as Aelin hadn't looked at him yet, her gaze still on Rowan.

"Yes." She replied with her voice cold. "My friend was just leaving, right?"

The way she said the word "friend" was anything but friendly. Fuck, he wanted to yell at her, he wanted to demand answers now, but he didn't. The two little girls were behind Aelin and the man, watching what was going on.

"Answer my question first."

"Get out." She gritted through her teeth.

"Why do you have your angry voice, Mommy?" The little boy asked and suddenly Aelin's eyes softened and she looked at the boy. She grabbed him by the underarms and took him in her arms.

Mommy.

Her son.

Clearly not the son of the man next to Aelin. He looked about six, maybe even seven.

No. That was impossible. It was only one night. One night he had spent the last seven years regretting...

“Mommy’s not angry.” She smiled as she caressed her son’s hair. Their… No, her son. For all Rowan knew, Aelin only had a thing for men with green eyes. It meant nothing. “But she’s busy right now, go back to the car with uncle Dorian, okay? Then we’ll eat pizza, that’s your favorite, right?” The three kids cheered and Aelin gave her son to the man, Dorian.

“You okay?” He asked, touching Aelin’s shoulder. Rowan didn’t know why but he wanted to slap the man.

“Yeah, I’ll be there in two minutes.” She reassured him and he nodded, letting Aelin’s son on his shoulder as he held the two girls by their hands and walked back to the parking lot. Rowan wanted to stop him, wanted to ask that boy and girl how old they were but they were just kids. He couldn’t scare them. This was between Rowan and Aelin.

“I deserve the truth.”

“You don’t deserve shit. Not after what you did.”

“It was between me and you, not between me and-” He was cut off by her.

“There is nothing between you and them. Do you understand me? Nothing.” Them. So the girl…

He couldn’t take it. She had made it clear already, deep inside he knew the answer to his question but he needed to hear her say it. “Are they mine?” He finally asked and if looks could kill, Rowan would be buried already.

“They are mine.”

Why did she have to be so fucking complicated? He clenched his fists, trying to keep his anger inside him but it was so damn hard. “Am I their father?”

Both of them were breathing heavily and Rowan was glad for the empty store now, not wanting to cause a scene. “No.” Her voice was lethal and Rowan’s mind froze. He didn’t know if it was a good thing or not. But they looked so much like him… “If your question is whether or not you knocked me up, the answer is yes. But you are not a father. Never been and never will be to them.”

They were his. Rowan’s entire world stopped and he wasn’t sure how he kept standing. He was a father, no matter what Aelin said.

“How could you hide this from me? How could you take them away from me?” He was screaming now. He didn’t care about causing a scene anymore, he didn’t care about anything but the two kids in a car outside. “They are my kids!”

“You don’t even know their fucking name!” She was screaming too, cheeks red. Fuck, why did she always had to be the most attractive when she was angry? He hated her so fucking much. “I am the one who’s been raising them alone for almost seven fucking years!” She didn’t look alone, not with that Dorian by her side.

Suddenly, he knew Aedion didn’t punch him for what he and Aelin shared the last night he saw her. He had punched him for getting his cousin pregnant. He knew Aelin hadn’t been honest about what happened between them after the sex or he would have been dead by now, so now he was sure it was because of the kids. He had deserved it, deserved more than the five punches Aedion managed to give Rowan before Fenrys and Lorcan separated them.

“I will die before I let you treat my children like you treated me. Get out of Terassen, nobody wants you here.”

She left storming out of the store without her groceries and Rowan was frozen. He knew he should go back after her and apologize, he should beg her for a chance to know his kids but he couldn’t move.

He had children, twins. And Aelin had been raising them alone because of him, because of what happened.

He was so fucking screwed.

He didn’t care about what Aelin told him, he wouldn’t go anywhere. It was too late to save what could have happened between him and Aelin, it had been too late since the night she left his apartment in tears. But it wasn’t too late for his children and he would fight for them.

————

@sheharahu // @morganofthewildfire // @thestoriesyoutell // @fromthelibraryofemilyj // @swankii-art-teacher // @itsforeverinnocent-blog // @becarefuloflove // @imnotsogoodatthis // @rowaelinismyotp // @a-court-of-milkandhoney // @feysand-loml // @surielandiareendgame // @live-the-fangirl-life // @story-scribbler // @loves-books // @fangirlprincess09 // @theysayitscrazy // @hellasblessed

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Hue and Cry VII

Warnings: non-consent sex and rape (series), mentions of previous forced oral, abuse of power, these men ain't shit.

This is dark!medieval!Bucky Barnes x reader and explicit. 18+ only.  Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Synopsis: You face a reckoning for evading your lord.

Note: This wasn't planned but things just turned out this way because my go to is fuck the reader. Oop.

Thanks to everyone and thanks in advance for all your feedback. :)

I really hope you enjoy. 💋

<3 Let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!

The nights only got harder. It didn't matter if Lord Barnes wanted to touch you or wanted you to touch him, even just laying beside him was torment. You hated what he'd done to you and what he'd made you do. You hated yourself more for how he made you feel.

You decided that day in the carriage during the rainstorm that you hated him. You hated Lord Barnes more than even Lord Rogers. At least the latter was honest in his lechery, he did not try to veil his true desires but Barnes spoke to you sweetly as he forced his needs upon you.

The night before you were due to reach the capital, you did not sleep. You couldn't in the bed next to Barnes. He wanted to be astride as he entered the city and so you were left to ride alone in the carriage. The sway soon had you across the bench in a deep slumber. It was the best sleep you had in weeks.

You only woke as a hammering came at the door and streaks of sunlight were let in as it opened. A footman called you out and helped you down the step into the dirt. You batted your sleepy eyes and marveled at the castle as it came clear. It was getting colder as the autumn wore on, bitter. It was the wrong season for a tournament.

As you trod through the beaten yard of the castle, Lord Barnes clapped off his right hand, the leather glove dusting, and approached you. He’s gaze strayed to Lord Rogers for a moment then back to you. He dropped his shoulders and scrunched his lips.

“I have an audience with the king,” he said glumly, “as much as I’d prefer you attend with me it has been brought to my attention that… the court might not be as accommodating to you as I am. Regardless, I might have a seat arranged for you at the feast and you were surely sit in the rows for the sparring.”

“I… my lord, I am only--”

“I told you,” he interjected, “you are not a maid anymore.”

You held your tongue as you wanted to spit at him. What were you? A courtesan? A whore? Was that better than emptying his pot? You dipped your head and pulled your cape snug, “my lord.”

“See her to my rooms,” Barnes directed the footman at your shoulder, “once the chests are unpacked, she is to be undisturbed. My guard will have the same orders.”

“Yes, my lord,” the footman bowed, “my lady.”

You looked at the footman and slowly followed him away from Barnes. You were eager to be away from him but not eager to be shown your new prison. You entered the castle and followed the torchlit corridors beside the footman.

“I’m not a lady,” you said at last, “I don’t want you to ever call me that again.”

“My apologies, my--” he stuttered, “the lord bid it.”

“He lies to himself and you,” you muttered, “I was born as you, likely lower. My own mother was a laundress and my father a stablehand. Cut from the finest, I am.”

The footman was quiet as he waved you ahead of him up the coiling stairwell. You regretted your harsh words but knew they could never be delivered to their true target. When you reached the chamber designated to your master, you stopped outside. Lester was already at his station by the lord’s doors.

“I am sorry,” you told the footman, “I was unkind. You do not deserve that.”

His lips curved slightly and he hid his amusement, “I know now you are like me,” he said softly, “the nobles, they don’t apologise.”

You chuckled darkly and left him. You passed the servants as they carried in trunks and opened them in a flurry of duty. You went to the bedroom and climbed up on the large feather mattress. That time you had to yourself, even surrounded by the chaos of your arrival, was a relief. You did not know how long you’d get away from Barnes.

🏰

You fell asleep again. This time, you weren’t floating in your dreams, driven wildly by the tides, but you were still, straight as a board in the ground as dirty sprinkled onto you. The cold earth warmed as the layers piled on you. Deeper, deeper, deeper until you couldn’t breathe.

You woke with a start and nearly screamed as a shadow loomed over you. Barnes sat beside you, his legs over the edge of the couch. He played with the lifeless fingers of his artificial hand. Your hood was on the pillow, crumpled and the folds of your dress were bunched awkwardly beneath your body.

“I didn’t want to wake you,” he murmured, “just wanted to sit with you.”

“How long--”

“It is almost time for supper,” he said, “but the feast is not until the morrow. You might remain and rest some more.”

You didn’t move, just looked up at the canopy and laid there. You didn’t say anything more as you folded your arms over the stiff bodice.

“You should sleep… the journey was long. Tiring,” he continued.

You just blinked but didn’t close your eyes. The canopy was a rich green marked with gold. The stitches were woven in the shape of leaves and vines. You thought of the forest and those days you were so scared. You were much more terrified now.

“I wanted to say, and I should now since you are awake,” he began as he leaned on his elbow and his other arm fell limp and heavy, “what occurred with Rogers will not arise again. I made him a promise I regret and it was sorted.”

You held back a shudder as you thought of the salty tasted and the pungent scent of their arousal. You swallowed and hugged yourself tighter.

“If he attempts to reenact the scene, or more, you will inform me, and you have my leave to see that he does not,” Barnes said sternly, “you are still mine. I would not have you confused.”

You rolled onto your side so that your back was to him. He huffed and his hand fell onto your side. He squeezed and the bed shifted. He said your name and every muscle in your body went taut.

“Do you understand?” he asked.

“I’m tired,” you said.

“I want no mistake. You--”

“I belong to you,” you sneered, “you want to use me, you want to own me, you want me to tell you I know I am nothing but the dirt beneath your boot. Let me assure you I am aware--”

“Do not speak to me as such,” he hissed.

You bit back your voice and heaved. You sucked in your cheeks and wriggled away from his reach. “It is understood, my lord. Now as you bid, I would sleep.”

🏰

The only grace allowed you at the feast, rather denied you, was a seat with your lord. As much as Barnes would prefer to have you close he was still bound by the expectations of court. He didn't let on that you were merely a servant but you didn't think anyone could believe otherwise. For his vouching, you were sat among the lower lords and ladies.

You watched as wine was poured for you. You eyed the girl who kept her chin down as the filled the cups and thought of your own time in a similar duty. What did Barnes find so fascinating about you? You had only done what dozens others had done for him before. You couldn't figure you had an outstanding feature or manner that could explain his interest, it could only be your own poor luck.

You ate without tasting, without zeal, slowly as you brought fork to lip and dissolved into the chatter of strangers around you. All those seated at the long tables had a partner or some family with them. You were alone. Your parents were dead and all those you'd ever had a kindred tie to were far away.

"Uncle," a voice perked up across from you and drew your attention as you chewed the spiced rabbit meat, "if I made the lists, surely I can win!"

"My coin got you on those lists," the older man replied, "it is all formality. Should you gace a king or a duke, you would be remiss to claim victory."

"I am to lay down for their title?" The younger scoffed, "I am a man now and I have trained--"

"But you think like a boy," the other rebuked, "a runner up can take a fine purse still and if you feed the ego of a high borne man he will be more willing to show you favour."

You lowered your fork and looked at the two men as they argued. The elder`s hair was sprinkled with grey but the rest the same shade of reddish brown as the youth. You were heartened by their familial banter but saddened at your own solace. You dropped your hands to your lap and looked at your plate.

"Dear," the woman beside you touched your sleeve, "are you well?"

You turned to her startled and nodded. "Yes, my lady," you cleared your throat, "fine indeed."

She peered past you then shared a look with the older man across the table. She was not so grey as him. She smiled and withdrew her hand. "You are alone?"

"Only me, my lady," you answered.

"And overly polite," she chuckled, "a pity. A young girl sent to court without escort. What family could do such a thing? You must be frightened out of your wits."

"I will… persevere," you said.

"Ay but it is the nature of these events to be cordial. I am May Parker, my husband is a baron," she gestured to the older man across from you, "Benjamin, and my nephew, Peter, a viscount in his beloved father's stead," she smiled at the younger man, "and your name?"

You hadn't been told what to say in the circumstance. You hadn't thought of it and surely Barnes hadn't either. You would have to garnish the truth with enough lies to get by. You twined your fingers together. You offered your name, your truth, then conjured your lies as you spoke.

"My father is, er, was, a baron as well," you said, "I am his only child."

"Oh, you sweet thing, if you would be alone for this tournament, you might stay near to us. My nephew hasn't many peers of his age just yet, and my husband is much too weary to keep up with him."

You glanced around, the two men bowed their heads in greeting. You attempted a smile and thanked her.

"Our Peter will be competing in the joust and in the sword contest," she announced, "we did urge him to enter the bow and arrow but he finds it dull."

"Oh," you were uncertain how to address these people, to speak as if you were their equal, "I've never attended a tourney before."

"Best you stay close then," she squeezed your hand gently, "why look at all these people! Even that Duke from the north came, bless him, that one who did lose his arm in the campaigns."

You reached for your wine to hide your discomfort at the mention of him. All you had to do was pretend for the evening and you'd likely not see these people again. As friendly as they were, you couldn't stand to make friends only to lose them.

You listened for the rest of the courses as May and her family did much of the talking. There were moments you forgot your predicament, even that you were born a peasant, but when it returned to you, the food turned to a lump in your stomach and your heart clamoured.

You were roused from the waking dream only as the music plucked up and the plates were cleared by your own ilk. May chuckled and stood as her husband came around to her. She paused as the bodies flooded from the benches onto the boards. She touched your shoulder kindly, "if you would be in want of a partner, our Peter is rather graceful."

You looked to the younger Parker and he lit up. "Only if you like, miss."

"I… would say I am not so," you said evasively.

"It would not bother me, I trained with the old hound that slept in our barn, he slobbered quite heavily," he laughed, "but I would be indebted should you allow me the treat of a true partner."

"I suppose…" you looked to the high table where Barnes scowled at Lord Rogers, entirely unconcerned with you for the first time in a while. Perhaps this was a chance; lose yourself in the crowd and you might find the opening you needed. Or perhaps merely a respite from him at least, "I do warn you however, I would not know where to place my feet."

May and Benjamin swept away as Peter came around to you. He offered his arm and you mimicked the other ladies as you took it.

He lifted his shoulders proudly as he led you to the floor, "only step around my own and I will do my best not to trod on your slippers, lady." He turned you in time with the music, your arms hooked so that you faced in opposing direction, "follow me and do not worry so much. No one is watching us so closely."

You smiled, a real smile that time as the strings and flutes filled your chest. As this kind stranger patiently guided you around the boards. You raised your chin as you did your best to stay on the beat but nearly tripped as your eyes met another pair.

Lord Barnes glared down at you from the high table, the only lord remaining in his seat, and his hand gripped the stem of his goblet tightly. Even at the distance, you felt his chagrin. And as he stood, your sole met Peter's toe but he only snickered and righted you.

"You're doing fine, lady," he assured as he spun and switched arms, you let him lead you dumbly as you watched Barnes descend from the dais, "a natural."

[ivy-loves-chocolate]

Note: this was a commission I got from a supporter on ko-fi. I hope that you’ll read it with the same enjoyment I had while writing it. If you want to commission or support me check the pinned post or the hyperlink, you’ll find all the details there. If you have questions, my DM is open 🤗. Also, your comments are always welcomed.

Promt: Wesker forgets about the reader’s birthday.

Pairing: Wesker x F!Reader

Word count: 2K

Type: fluff.

Wesker placed the samples with care on the table, starting his day as usual. He’s been spending his last few years, stuck in the lab researching all over again in order to achieve the wanted results. Since Uroborus is a high importance plan, he’s very meticulous about his schedule, respecting every minute precisely. Not a minute early, not a minute late. The only thing that he tries to put outside his schedule is you because he doesn’t like limiting the time he spends with his sweetheart. He cares so much about you that over the years he sees you as his equal, so he plans to inject you with the progenitor virus, a weaker strand because he can’t risk killing you. Because of this, he wants to do it on a special day, but the many opportunities that arrived didn’t fit in his schedule. The greatest gift he ever received was the power he got after breaking the confines of humanity, so he wants you to experience the same joy. Wesker kept thinking about it but he would get distracted by his work, so his present would always be in the planning stage. He doesn’t want to do it suddenly, he wants to introduce the idea slowly to you because he respects your boundaries.

Once you earned his respect, Wesker can be a very carrying partner, human even. He knows every little detail about his sweetheart, from her birthday to what she last ate. It can seem creepy when you put it like this, but this is nothing more than a lover who deeply cares about his partner and seeks to make her happy. Wesker is not the greatest at showing it though because of his work life. He has little to no time to show his affection. He still shows you that he is there for you, but not as much as he wants, making him more frustrated. Sometimes when he comes home from work he is so tired he barely sees you, let alone talk with you. He either collapses on the couch or bed and falls asleep as you talk with him because he is just too exhausted to carry the conversation. This doesn’t sit right with him because he gives all of his attention and energy to his work and doesn’t have any left for the only person that matters to him, making him wonder if it’s all worth it.

The relationship didn’t have a great start, since you expected Albert to be with you at least 8 hours a day but you’re lucky if you catch him once a week. He’s not the type to express himself and constantly expects others to read his mind, so you two would end up fighting. You have mistaken the lack of presence as rudeness and indifference, basing your reasoning on all the rumors you heard until you realized they were all stupid. Wesker proved to be the contrary, talking so nicely to you and not belittling you at all even if you piss him off. The amount of respect this man offered you even from the beginning is astonishing. He was so transparent with you and with all he does and he had so much patience until you understood. He was just a working man with probably burnout syndrome, so you took the responsibility to take care of him.

His phone buzzed since he started his work. Calls, messages, idiots without brains, as he calls them, needed help doing their job. When he had enough he picked up his phone and started to scroll down through notifications. Some of these people make him curse like a sailor, especially the one who texted him the most. As useful as Excella is in helping with his projects, as annoying she can be. Hundreds of messages and calls, some related to work some not. A particular question caught his attention.

“Do you think y/n would like this?” A picture of a purse was attached. Excella can’t stand you for obvious reasons, but out of respect for Albert, she tries to be friends with you. Still, why would Excella buy something for you out of the blue?

“Is something special today?” He thought.

The horrifying grimace when the realization hit cannot be described. Today is indeed a special day, your birthday. To be honest, he doesn’t care about birthdays. He despises them because they are a reminder of our mortality, but he knows how much you care about such occasions. Every year you got him something even if he insisted not to buy anything for him. Seeing you care and how much you enjoy receiving gifts he changed his mindset. Usually, he would give you something common, just as others would, but then he began to put more effort until there wasn’t anything material in this world to give. That’s how the progenitor virus gift arises in his head. However, he’s been so caught up with his research on Uroborus that he completely forgot to make the preparations. You don’t feel the days pass when you’re stuck in a lab all the time. He puts the phone aside, grabs his coat, and rushes out of the building ignoring the people that are trying to talk with him. If not the virus, he will have to find something common.

He’s not a fan of last minutes gifts but he has no choice. The guilt crushed him further as he remember he hasn’t talked with you all day. The ride to the jewels store felt like ages, even if it was relatively close. Luck was on his side since he found the store open.

None of the jewelry in front of him caught his attention because it wasn’t something he hopes of giving you. He already buried you in gold. You have the finest, unique, and expensive jewels in the world. He wouldn’t have been injected you in a lab of course. He wanted a special place for your rebirth. All of his ideas were put on paper, but probably got lost in the pile of reports. All he wanted was to see you smile on the most important day of your life, perhaps looking at him with the same eyes as his. He wanted to make you feel as you were the center of his universe, his queen, but he failed miserably. Maybe if he had gotten any outstanding results today he wouldn’t be so upset, but it was just another ordinary day. The lady tried talking with him but he was lost in his thoughts. Knowing it’s late and that you’re waiting for him, he bought a pearl necklace and left in hurry. On his way home he tried thinking of what to say, what excuse would be the best but he concluded that all of them were outdated.

Before opening the door, he hid the small package in the inner pocket of his coat. That lady was in hurry to close the store and didn't want to wrap the necklace if gift wrap. Wesker will remember that.

“I’m home!” He shouted once he entered. He may screw up, but he is not a man who runs away from conflict or a man who doesn’t own his mistakes.

“I thought you’d spend the night in your lab.” She said while giving him a peck on his cheek. “You need a vacation dear, you’ll be worn out before your time”

You were so carrying with him, so kind, but he couldn’t enjoy it. He didn’t deserve your kindness.

“There is something I need to tell you.”

“About?” You were starting to get worried. He left in hurry this morning and you didn’t hear anything from him all day. Excella told you briefly about him, but she talked more about the purse she bought for you which was more for her taste, not yours. Judging by his face you realized he had something on his mind, but you would never think it was because he forgot about your birthday. You expected him to talk about an outbreak rather than your forgotten birthday. To your surprise, he started apologizing.

“I was so caught up in my work I-“ he considers apologies a waste of time since we could do better things with our mortality and limited time, but for a reason, humans care about these.

“It’s alright my love.” You caress his face as a reassuring sign. “I understand.” You’re not upset at him. He genuinely cares about you and you can’t judge him, not after all the good things he has done for you. And besides, you know he doesn’t fully mean it, but you appreciate that he still does it for the sake of your feelings.

You began to caress his cheeks, to place small kisses all over his face. You see him rarely so you make sure to show him how much you love him as well. You hug him and he instantly hugged you back. After a while, you broke the hug and lead him to the couch so you can talk about each other’s day. He’s thankful you both moved on.

Eventually, you two got more comfortable. You let all your weight fall over his body as his strong arms were wrapped around your torso. His big hands were caressing your back while you found your peace in that small, almost suffocating, clasp. You almost fell asleep when a gentle squeeze woke you.

“I almost forgot.” He said, almost whispering, before handing you your gift. “It’s not what I had planned, but I hope you’ll find it enjoyable.”

Hazily, you took the small box Albert handled to you. It was a normal, jewelry box with the logo of the store on it. Inside there was a beautiful, shiny pearl necklace. Your delicate fingers touched the pearls with care, feeling their gritty texture and small bumps here and there. It weighs heavy in your hands. You fell in love instantly with the accessory. Seeing how happy you are, Albert offered to put it at your neck. Its elegance enhanced your natural beauty. It looks like it was made solely for you, like an extension of your body.

“I bet it was a lot.” You said with a somehow sorrow in your voice. You don’t want Albert to spend heavy money on you, because it’s his presence that you enjoy and value the most.

“Don’t worry about it, I like spending money on you.” And it was true, he loves dressing you in the most expensive clothing to flatter your body. You’re a goddess to him. Not to mention it strokes his ego to know that he’s able to provide such beautiful things to you. “At least this is what I can do.”

“And it’s perfect this way.” You can see him relax a little.

“I’ll make it up to you, I just need some time.” Time, mortality, death. Once again he was reminded of his plan that was supposed to fix humanity's greatest flaw, and his expression suddenly changed. That didn’t get past Y/N’s attention.

“Albert sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, some problems I need to solve.”

“Are they urgent?”

“Yes, very.”

“I’m sure they can wait until tomorrow.”

He scanned your body carefully. You weren’t getting any younger. Time left its mark on you. Not in an unpleasant way, but still noticeable.

“There something I need to tell you.” He said while sitting on the edge of the bed, watching you how you admire your new necklace. In the lights of the vanity mirror the pearls shine brighter, being more appealing than before making it impossible to take your eyes off them.

“What is it?” You said while gazing at your own reflection.

He choose his words carefully, but no matter how he put them, it could scare you. It’s not the time or the place. He doesn’t want to ruin your happiness. His actual surprise might not sit well with you, but it’s not your choice after all. If he considers it the best option for you he will do it regardless of your opinion. Still, this day came out better than he expected.

“Maybe tomorrow.”

Tags: @xx-sectumsempra-xx @residentzero2028 @heisentitties (dm if you wanna be in the tag list)

[diegos-butt]

Unnoticed chapter six

Summary: Kat & Sy telling their friends that they’re dating. and just them being together.

Captain Daniel Syverson x Kathy Davis (plus size/curvy/thick OFC)

Warnings: uhm okay, insinuation of sex and oral (f receiving), some thoughts, slight attempted winking and uhm, that's it i guess!

Wordcount: 3.8k

A/N: so sorry it took me so long to write this chapter!! i really hope i didn't dissapoint with this one. it took me a while to get back in the mood to writhe for these two, but i'm not tired of them at all oh my. hope you enjoy! xx

chapter one / chapter two / chapter three / chapter four / chapter five

•••

The days after our first date went by quickly. But the days were different, so different. Whenever he could, Sy spend his time at my place. So, we ate together, we fell asleep together, we woke up together and yes; we did things together. Naughty things you might say. Never in my life I had felt so desired because it was impossible for Sy to keep his hands of me.

“Sy! Are you home?” I yelled as I walked through my front door. No response, I guessed Sy was being held up at work. After kicking my shoes off and placing my purse on the table in the hallway, I made my way to the kitchen to pour myself a glass of lemonade. My phone buzzed, and I grabbed it to see who it was.

Will be there in an hour darlin’

I smiled at my phone, even though Sy hated texting, I had managed to make him text me simple stuff like when he would be home. It had taken a few days, but after six days, it was Thursday now, he finally took his time to text me.

Since Sy wouldn’t be here for at least an hour, I had some time to myself. Quickly I changed into a pair of sweatpants and a shirt of Sy and curled up on the sofa with the book I was reading. Soon my eyelids started to feel heavy, and before I knew it, I fell asleep.

I had no idea how much later it was, but when I woke up, I smelled something delicious. With a groan I stretched out, and when I opened my eyes Sy stood in the kitchen, cooking. In the last few days, it had become clear I was quite a mess in the kitchen, I had managed to ruin soup, so Sy took over the responsibility of cooking dinner.

He glanced over his shoulder and gave me one of his lopsided smiles. “Hi darlin’,” Sy said and turned around to the stove again. I lifted myself up from the sofa and while I approached Sy, I took a moment to admire his back. Might need to dig my nails into that later tonight.

“Hi,” I whispered once I was behind him. I rested my chin on his shoulder and looked at what he was cooking. He was making pasta and I hummed in approval. I wrapped my arms around his waist, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. The hand Sy didn’t need for cooking wrapped around mine.

“Did ya have a nice nap?” He brought one of my hands to his lips and pressed a kiss on it.

“It was good, but I rather use you as my pillow, or blanket,” I smiled.

“Yeah, that became clear the last nights. Ya know ya cling to me like a koala bear all night?” he chuckled.

“I’m not responsible for what I do in the middle of the night,” I stated. “Besides, you haven’t complained once.” I unwrapped myself from him and grabbed plates and utensils. Sy shook his head and placed the pasta on the table.

Since I was hungry from my nap and Sy, well Sy is always hungry, we started eating immediately. While we ate, I thought about our friends. Brianna had fished all week for details about our date, and because I was so happy, I told her everything about it. However, I did not tell her everything. I hadn’t told her Sy and I were a couple now, I wanted to keep that piece of information for myself for a few days. But today Brianna had been pushing me a lot. She knew Sy had come over a lot this week, and she was convinced there was more to tell. I tried to brush it off, but I knew I couldn’t keep doing that for much longer. Besides, I actually wanted to let everyone know I was the one Sy wanted. That he wanted to be with me.

“Whatcha thinking about?” Sy pulled me out of my thoughts.

“I think we should tell them.”

“Tell who?”

“You know, our friends. Oh god what would Tim say?” I suddenly realized. I hadn’t seen my brother all week, and I hadn’t thought about his reaction at all.

“Don’t worry about him darlin’, it’ll be fine,” Sy said. “Why don’t we tell ‘em tomorrow? At the pub?”

“Okay,” I smiled. Then I remembered I hadn’t seen Holly that week, she would be in shock. A happy shock, but still. I bet she wants to know every detail about what happens in the bedroom, or on the sofa, or in the bathroom..

“So, how do ya wanna tell ‘em?” Sy asked. He stood up and started to clear the table.

“Hmm, why don’t we just show up together and let them figure it out?” I suggested. I grabbed my own plate and placed it in the sink. Sy was now standing next to me, and I could see by the grin on his face he disagreed.

“Nah, why don’t I arrive a little later, so I can greet you like this.” While he spoke, his hands had found their way to my hips, and he pulled me close. For a moment his lips ghosted over mine before he finally kissed me.

After breaking the kiss because he took all my breath away, I rolled my eyes. “We’ll see about that.”

While we did the dishes, we discussed the way we would tell them. As predicted, we did not agree. We were both stubborn and not willing to give in. But we will see who is the most stubborn.

“Guess we will see tomorrow how it goes,” Sy laughed and swatted my bum.

“Whatever,” I said and rolled my eyes once more, but a smile formed on my face. “Wait! We didn’t even had dessert!” I suddenly realized.

“Don’t worry love, my dessert is right here,” Sy growled and sank down to his knees while he hooked his thumbs in the waistband of my sweatpants. This man is going to be my death.

It was Friday, 5pm, and I was still staring at my computer. Brianna had left quite some time ago, while I had to stay for a meeting with a potential client. Luckily, the meeting went well and now I was finishing up the report.

After I was done, I glanced at the clock on the wall. If I go home now, I might be able to change before going to the pub. Quickly, I shut down my computer, grabbed my purse, closed off the office and drove home.

Moments later I stood in front of my closet, deciding what to wear. I knew Sy loved seeing me in sundresses, but I wasn’t in the mood to wear one of those, so I opted for my favourite pair of jeans with a graphic tee. Sorry Sy, but comfort comes first today. I touched up my make-up and made my hair look presentable again. Once more I looked at the clock. Shit it is already 5.30pm. Sy better be waiting for me there.

Rapidly I ran out of the door and walked to the pub. Sy and I had agreed I would walk there, since it was closer to my house than to his, so we could go home together in one car.

As I came closer to the pub, I started to get more anxious. What if Tim would hate it? What if they think we won’t last? No won’t think that right? They better not embarrass me though. And tell them about the crush I had on him since forever.

Before I could get into my head way too much, I walked onto the parking lot and immediately say Sy’s truck was already there. The fucker. I shook my head and made my way to the entrance.

Once I pushed the door open and walked inside, my eye fell on our table straight away. Sy was already looking at me, with one of the biggest grins I had ever seen. Suddenly feeling a bit shy, I averted my gaze and looked everywhere but at Sy when I walked over.

“Hey! You finally made it! We have been here for more than 20 minutes!” Holly started ranting while she stood up to hug me.

“Yeah, sorry, I had a late meeting,” I apologized and looked around for an empty seat after saying hi to everyone. Obviously, the only empty seat was next to Sy. I shuffled over to him, and I could just feel his gaze on me. Why am I so nervous now?! What’s the worst that could happen?

“Ya aren’t even gonna properly say hi darlin’?” Sy asked and stood up. Oh god. He placed one hand on the small of my back and pulled me flush while his other hand grabbed my chin to make me meet his gaze. Before I could think about it, Sy firmly pressed his lips on mine while my hands sneaked around his neck. While we deepened the kiss for a moment, I could hear loud cheering around us. That’s way too loud to just be our table.

Sy and I parted, and he gave me a wink, well, he tried too. But it made me laugh and suddenly my nerves where gone. Sy grabbed my hand and squeezed a few times before he pulled me down to sit next to him. When I finally sat down, I looked around and saw everyone inside looking at us. They were smiling and clapping. Oh lord, was the whole town shipping us or something?

“Hang on! What is going on here?” Holly screamed as predicted. The whole table started laughing, me and Sy included.

“Seriously Holly? Why did you think they were both not here last week?” Benjamin asked. In the meanwhile, Sy had rested his arm on the back of my chair, and scooted me even closer.

“Wait, they were actually on a date? You guys weren’t joking around?” Holly said surprised. “Oh guys! I’m so happy for you! But Kathy, you and I are gonna have a talk soon because there are some things I need to know.” She eyed Sy up and down, lingering on a certain part.

“Holly!” I exclaimed. After that, Sy and I underwent a crossfire of questions and we tried to answer them all. During dinner I looked over at Tim, a little afraid of his reaction, but when I looked at him, he gave me a reassuring smile and I knew all was well.

“Don’t worry about Tim darlin’, he practically begged me to marry ya already,” Sy whispered in my ear.

“He did what?!” With open mouth I looked at Sy. Look, that might be a bit too soon but someday..

Sy just chuckled, and the rest of the night went by fast. Before I knew it, we were back at my place, in bed ready to go to sleep.

I felt happy, I had talked with Tim before we left, and he reassured me he was happy for me. I was glad about that, because if Sy wouldn’t get tired of me anytime soon, he would be spending more and more time with my family and he would need an ally in my lovely, but crazy family.

“Sy,” I said while I toyed with Sy chest hair.

“Hmm.”

“I don’t think I have ever been this happy,” I said softly.

“Me too love,” Sy said and he pressed a kiss to my temple. He wrapped his arms around me, and within seconds I fell asleep.

After that Friday everything had changed. I spend most of my free time with Kat, I practically moved in with her in the past days. After work I went to her place; we ate together, we watched tv together, I showed her every corner of the bedroom, we fell asleep together, and we woke up together. At first, I was a bit afraid we were spending too much time together, but I quickly learned that wasn’t the case. I couldn’t get tired of her, and I loved the little things like arguing with her because she was so quick and witty with her comments.

Besides that, I finally didn’t have to keep my hands to myself. I finally could lay my hands on every part of her body, and I made sure to do it.

“You thinking about your girl again Sy?” Shane teased. “You were zoned out there dude. You really are in love.” I shook my head. Me and the guys were currently at work at the house on Fox Avenue.

“Shut up man,” I said and continued working. The house we were renovating was finally getting somewhere, and I was seriously considering buying it. But I knew it might be too soon for Kat. Maybe we should get public with our relationship first. And try to date for more than a month.

While the guys knew Kat and I went on a date, I hadn’t told them we were a couple. I had a feeling Kat wanted to keep that to ourselves for a little while, and although I couldn’t wait to show her off, I respected, and understood it.

I looked at my watch, and figured Kat would be home by now. I sighed; I knew it would be stuck here for at least another hour. It happened a few days ago, that I was home quite some time later than her, and she pointed out she had texted and called me to ask if I was still coming over. Since I wasn’t a big fan of cell phones, mine was on silent and I didn’t saw the messages until she said it.

I chuckled and fished my phone out of my pocket. Quickly I composed a text, letting her know I would be there in an hour.

Luckily, I got to her place within the hour. I looked through the window, and saw she was sound asleep on the sofa. With the spare key she gave me some time ago, I opened the door and went inside. I had the spare key for a few years now, never used it, it never felt right until now.

Kat had a book in her hands that was almost falling on the floor. I walked over to her, released the book out of her grip and carefully placed a blanket over her. I smiled at the sight, while Kat would never admit it, she looked really cute asleep. Always grabbing something, like my shirt, or in this case, her hands immediately grabbed the blanket.

My stomach grumbled, letting me know it was time for dinner. A task I had assigned to myself. Kat had tried to cook dinner for me on Saturday, but she managed to ruin the soup we were supposed to eat. On Monday I had no idea what she was even trying to make, so I intervened quickly and made sure we had at least something to eat. Today, on Thursday, I was glad she hadn’t started on dinner, so I could make something.

The pasta was almost done when I heard Kat wake up. She let out a groan and stretched out before she opened her eyes and looked at me. “Hi darlin’,” I said.

Kat stood up and walked over to me. She rested her chin on my shoulder and gave a hum of approval when she saw I was making pasta. “Hi,” she whispered and pressed a kiss to my shoulder while she wrapped her arms around my waist.

“Did ya have a nice nap?” I asked and brought one of her hands to my face to press a kiss on it.

“It was good, but I rather use you as my pillow, or blanket,” she answered. Cheeky one.

“Yeah, that became clear the last nights. Ya know ya cling to me like a koala bear all night?” I chuckled. Last night when I woke up, she literally hung on my back like a backpack.

“I’m not responsible for what I do in the middle of the night,” Kat said. “Besides, you haven’t complained once.” I shook my head and laughed. She was right, I was absolutely not complaining. Kat removed herself from my waist and decked the table. I placed the pasta on the table, and I guessed we were both hungry, because we both started eating straight away.

“Whatcha thinking about?” I asked once I saw the absent look in her eyes.

“I think we should tell them,” Kat stated.

“Tell who?”

“You know, our friends. Oh god what would Tim say?” she said while a look of horror formed on her face.

“Don’t worry about him darlin’, it’ll be fine,” I assured her. “Why don’t we tell ‘em tomorrow? At the pub?” I had actually talked to Tim, and he was more than happy for us. While he didn’t even know we were already together, he had teased me when I was going to propose. I told him to slow down because I wanted to enjoy what we had for now. Gonna take her out on some more dates first. And give her some more sleepless nights.

“Okay,” she smiled.

“So, how do ya wanna tell ‘em?” I asked as I stood up to clear the table.

“Hmm, why don’t we just show up together and let them figure it out?” Kat suggested. She showed up next to me at the sink and placed her own plate in it.

My hands grabbed her hips and I pulled her against me. “Nah, why don’t I arrive a little later, so I can greet you like this.” She closed her eyes, and my lips ghosted over hers for a moment before I finally kissed her.

After breaking the kiss, Kat rolled her eyes. “We’ll see about that.”

While we did the dishes, we discussed the way we would tell them. As predicted, we did not agree. We were both stubborn and not willing to give in. But we will see who is the most stubborn.

“Guess we will see tomorrow how it goes,” I laughed and couldn’t resist slapping her ass. The way it jiggles when I did, could never tire me. But those sweatpants need to go darlin’.

“Whatever,” Kat said and rolled her eyes again. “Wait! We didn’t even had dessert!” she suddenly realized.

“Don’t worry love, my dessert is right here.” I went down on my knees in front of her, and hooked my thumbs in the waistband of her sweatpants. This is my favourite dessert of all time darlin’.

For a change, me and the guys finished work early, providing me the chance to arrive at the pub before Kat. I knew she would be late because she had meeting. So, here I was, waiting for her to show up while I was already there with everyone else.

The small talk at the table was nice, and I was glad for once no one asked me about Kat. I glanced at my watch, and guessed she would show up soon. Like she was reading my mind, the doors of the pub opened, and Kat walked inside. That’s a nice pair of jeans there darlin’, showing off that full behind of yours. I looked at her, and couldn’t help the grin that formed on my face. Kat saw me, but immediately looked away, like she became shy all of a sudden.

“Hey! You finally made it! We have been here for more than 20 minutes!” Holly started ranting while she stood up to hug Kat.

“Yeah, sorry, I had a late meeting,” Kat apologized and looked around. She was obviously looking for an empty seat, and I had made sure the only empty seat would be next to me. She made her way towards me, and I knew this was my chance.

“Ya aren’t even gonna properly say hi darlin’?” I asked and stood up. With the hand I placed on the small of her back I pulled her close to me while I grabbed her chin with the other. Not giving her a chance to think about it, I kissed her. I also might have just really wanted to kiss her, and she allowed me to deepen the kiss, so I knew she wanted to kiss me just as badly.

Around us people started cheering, and the cheering was way too loud to come just from our table. Once we parted, I noticed the whole pub was cheering, but I didn’t want to put Kat in an even more awkward position, so I ignored it.

Seeing a slightly nervous look on her face, I gave her a quick wink. I knew she would lighten up at those failed attempts, and indeed, she laughed and looked more relaxed. Grabbing her hand, I pulled her down with me, so she sat next to me.

“Hang on! What is going on here?” Holly screamed. It baffled me how that girl could be so blind sometimes. The whole table started laughing, including me and Kat.

“Seriously Holly? Why did you think they were both not here last week?” Benjamin asked. I rested my arm on the back of Kat’s chair and scooted her closer to me.

“Wait, they were actually on a date? You guys weren’t joking around?” Holly said surprised. “Oh guys! I’m so happy for you! But Kathy, you and I are gonna have a talk soon because there are some things I need to know.” She shamelessly eyed me up and down, lingering on a certain part.

“Holly!” Kat yelled but the rest started asking questions, and we tried to answer all of them while we ate dinner. I noticed Kat exchanging a look with Tim, and I chuckled to myself. She had been so worried about his reaction.

“Don’t worry about Tim darlin’, he practically begged me to marry ya already,” I whispered in her ear.

“He did what?!” With open mouth she looked at me. Not yet love, don’t worry.

The rest of the night went by quickly. Soon I was driving us home, and helped an almost asleep Kat inside. We went straight to bed, to give her her daily dose of cuddles.

In that moment I felt happy, finally being with her felt so good. Her body against mine, her touch, it all made me happy.

Her fingers ran through my chest hair, and I could tell by her breath she was close to falling asleep.

“Sy,” she suddenly said with a sleepy voice.

“Hmm.”

“I don’t think I have ever been this happy,” she said softly.

“Me too love,” I said and pressed a kiss to her temple. I wrapped my arms around her, and within seconds Kat was asleep. Smiling at her, I pressed another kiss on her forehead and I fell asleep soon after.

•••

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[dragon-kazansky]

Til death do us part | Helmut Zemo

Bodyguard AU! 🕶

Gender neutral reader

Collage by @realremyd

[Previous chapter] - [Next chapter]

Part 3

All of you were up early. You ate with the staff and the bodyguards grouped up for a quick meeting while the Baron got ready. You all gathered in the hall for the bedrooms you had been staying in.

"We head out immediately. Steve will meet us in Paris with the rest of the crew. It's so vital we stick with the Baron throughout his trip. We escort him to the hotel, station ourselves outside of the room. He will have a floor to himself, helping us limit who comes and goes from that room," Sam explains.

"What about the flight?" Bucky asks.

"The Baron will be flown over on his own plane. We are to be onboard with him, just stay out of his way and let him do his thing once we're up in the air. There isn't much we can do in a plane anyway."

"So, Paris, huh?" You smile at Sam.

"Yep. You remember when we were there?" He grins.

"Oh boy, do I. What a week that was."

Sam laughs.

Back when you were just a newbie and had passed your training, Sam had taken you to Paris to celebrate for a bit before you too long your first assignment. It was one of the best trips of your life.

"We won't get to do much sight seeing, I'm afraid."

"Ah well, it will still be nice to be in the city," you say, smiling.

"Yeah. Who knows, we might see a few familiar spots here and there," he winks at you.

You ignore the funny looks Bucky and Nat were giving you both. There were some things that would forever remain secrets.

Zemo was ready. He was currently eating in the dining room. You and Sam entered, Bucky and Natasha remained at the door. The Baron didn't even glance at you as entered, but if you had been paying attention to him, you would have noticed how irritated he looked.

Zemo finished up his breakfast.

As he rose and left the room, the pair of you followed, flanked then by Bucky and Nat. Zemo had a private word with the housekeeper before nodding at Sam. All together, you headed out. Bucky got the car door for the Baron as Sam climbed in the other side.

The rest if you would be parted into the other two cars, one to lead, one to follow.

Nat would be in the leading car.

Bucky and yourself would be in the following car.

She gave you a quick run of the protocol should anything transpire on the drive to the airstrip, and then you parted ways.

The three black SUV vehicles leave the estate.

Bucky glances at you beside him. You were looking out the window, quietly. From the moment you left the Baron's office you had been a little more stoic around Zemo.

"You alright?"

You look up quickly, putting on a smile, but it doesn't reach your eyes.

"I'm fine."

"You can talk to me you know," he tells you.

"I'm good at my job, right?"

He looks so stunned when he hears those words fall from your lips. His blue eyes flickers between your own rapidly, trying to find any reason within your own gaze as to why you would ever doubt yourself.

"Of course! I've seen you in action."

"It's just... when I client has doubts in their security, it makes you think."

"Do not listen to the Baron. Natasha and Sam told is he was an asshole, he just proved it. You're amazing, don't ever doubt yourself," he smiles.

You smile softly.

"I'm proud of my work. Sure, I've never actually had to guard anyone from a known threat, just make sure nothing happens to the client, but if things go down, I'm following protocol."

"Good. If things do turn out for the worst, I know you can handle it," he grins.

"Thanks, Bucky."

The cars arrive at the airstrip at the designated time. All bodyguards step pit of their vehicles before Zemo steps out of his. You all gather around the car and stand in the formality stance.

Sam opens the door.

Zemo looks a little irritated again, but says nothing as he walks toward to the plane. He goes straight inside.

Sam has a discussion with the pilot as the rest of you climb inside. You each take a seat, a respectable distance away from Zemo, and face forward.

You're the closest to the Baron at the moment. You avoid looking at him.

Sam enters and takes his own seat. He sits on the Baron's side, facing your way. You nod at each other.

The pilot climbs into the cockpit and, within the next several minutes, the plane takes off.

Helmut grabs a book from his bag and gets comfortable, ignoring the guards in the plane and losing himself in the pages.

Oeznik, the butler who you hadn't noticed boarded, comes over to him with a drink. He places the glass down and walks away.

You turn your eyes to the window and decide you'll just watch the sky for the flight. You were used to being left with your thoughts during transportation.

It doesn't take long to arrive in Paris.

The Baron had ignored all of you during the flight. He stepped off the plane and greeted Steve who had been waiting for you all. He had arrived with Carol and Clint in tow.

They shook hands.

Apparently he liked Steve the most out of all of you. Though you could see why.

"Shall we?" Zemo gestures to the cars behind Steve.

Steve gestures for Zemo to go ahead, opening the door for him when they get to the car. Once the door is closed behind him, Steve gestures for you to him.

"All good?" He asks.

"Yeah, all good. Don't worry, I got this."

"I know. I just wanted to make sure. The Baron just asked that I don't let you ride with him," he tells you, softly.

"Alright. I didn't expect to anyway."

"Don't let him get to you."

You just nod. You've had this conversation already. Don't let Baron Helmut Zemo get to you. You knew the drill.

It felt good that everyone was so supportive though.

You climb into the car behind, the following car. Sam and Bucky are in this car. They smile at you as you join them.

Then you're off.

Zemo was going to be staying right in the middle of the city.

The ride was mostly silent and felt rather long. Each of you kept your eyes out on the streets, keeping an eye for anything suspicious.

There had been no word of any threats in the city, but that didn't mean you could let your guard down.

The hotel was extremely nice. A bit glitzy and posh, the kind of place you would expect a Baron to stay at.

He is flanked by Steve and Carol as they check in. The rest of you hang back a bit. There weren't too many people about, but those that were watched with curiosity.

Steve and Carol went into the elevator with the Baron. The rest of you followed, taking the stairs. Your legs were going to feel this in the morning. The Baron was staying on the twelfth floor.

When you got up there, the Baron was already secured in his room. Carol was at the door.

You all spread out along the hallway and waited. His meeting would take place two hours later.

That's two hours of standing in a hallway with nothing but each others company. No one came or went from this floor.

When it was time to leave for the Baron's meeting, you all took your positions as you followed him back down to the lobby, once again taking the stairs, and back into the cars.

The meeting was being held at an official building in the centre of Paris.

A finely dressed gentleman surrounded by guards in the centre of a city was plenty enough to catch the attention of locals. Though the Baron was globally known, he was sure to leave an impression on France after he left.

You all enter the building and walk with him up to the meeting room, where only Steve is to follow him inside. Natasha and Carol separate from the group to stand in the main lobby incase anyone tried to get in sho wasn't welcome.

The rest if you waited outside of the meeting room.

Clint came to stand beside you, having not caught up with you yet. You smile at one another and face forward as you chat.

"The Baron's a piece of work," he says, keeping his voice low.

"You can say that again," you reply, keeping your voice just as low.

"Honestly, it doesn't surprise me this guy has enemies. He doesn't strike me as a people person."

"He must have some conversation skills though, if the whole purpose of his visit is to strengthen bonds and all that," you glance at him.

Clint shrugs.

"Still an asshole."

You smile as you agree.

The meeting goes on for about an hour. No one leaves the room, no one seems enters either.

When the meeting concludes for the day, the Baron doesn't look at any of you as he leaves. You all follow. He would be here for another two days before they came up with a deal.

The next day was much the same, only Clint didn't come to talk shit about him with you again.

On the third day, they came up with a deal.

There wasn't a single threat in the city. The Baron's visit in Paris had been smooth and came to a favorable conclusion. He left that last meeting looking proud and pleased.

That was also the first time since his arrival in Paris he had looked at you. Whether it was by accident or not, you have no idea, but he had looked at you for the briefest moment.

However, he was looking smug for those brief moments. You didn't know how to take that.

Back at the hotel, in the room you had been given to rest in with Nat and Clint, you looked at the French newspaper in front of you. It was talking about the Baron's visit. There was a photo of him entering the building the first day.

You sigh softly.

Doing your job was feeling exhausting. Though you were a bodyguard, previous clients had given you more attention than this.

It felt as if Baron Helmut Zemo was trying to wind you up and get on your nerves.

What did it mean when he looked at you earlier?

Clint sank down into the seat next to you and handed you a drink. You took it gratefully and sat with him, looking a little tired at this point.

"Ready for another flight tomorrow?" He asks, looking pretty tired himself.

"Sure am. Nothing like globe trotting while watching out for an asshole."

Clint laughs.

"I heard him talking earlier."

"Oh? Dare I ask what he was talking about?" You look at him, but honestly, you couldn't care less.

"I think he was talking to Steve about you."

"About me? Why should he be talking about me?" You sit up a bit, obviously more intrigued now.

"I don't know why, but he really doesn't seem to like you."

You sink down a little.

"I know. I haven't done anything to him, I showed up for my assignment and he immediately shoots me down. He doesn't think I'm capable of my job and I hate that!" You put your drink down, annoyed that he was talking shit about you behind your back.

"Steve stood up for you."

You didn't say anything.

Clint sighs and places an arm around you, giving you a side hug.

"Better get some rest. We're off to London first thing in the morning."

You nod.

Clint leaves your side and goes to bed. You remain sitting there for a while longer before going to bed yourself.

You would will yourself not to be bothered by what the Baron thought.

What did he know about you anyway? Nothing!

You didn't know it then as you climbed into bed, but London would be your chance to prove your abilities to the Baron.

London wouldn't be quite as smooth as Paris had been.

John Walker would see to that.

@thesuitkovian @justfangirlthingies @belle82devart @zemosimp420 @anteroom-of-death @silverlambcaptain @that-stupid-head-tilt-thing @lieutenantn @daniielbruhl @awesomesauce-abbie @latenightartist-author @lazygurl05 @rumblelibrary @nonamec0s @shura-gorl @ginger-abreu @caligrl1992 @livvyshmiv @luciadiosa @vverliebt @tatooineisdry @charistory @somethingthatsaysbubbles

[partywithgyu]

TXT REACTION. 

Running out of love for their S/O. 

//Angst//

Choi Yeonjun.

Yeonjun was a patient person. At least, he tried to be. He still found himself getting irritated over the smallest things. More like, small actions. You noticed the way he clicked his tongue as you opened the door to his room. "Hey," you said softly. He was working and did not want to be disturbed. That was what he had told you. "What?," he asked. "I just wanted to know when you will be done with your work," you replied to the visibly irritated guy. "It's obvious I will come out for lunch after my work is over. Don't disturb." 

"Jeez. You don't have to be so rude about it," you stated. "Only your job is taken seriously or something?" You opened the door completely before leaning on the frame. "What's this about? I didn't even claim that." He just sighed. "Whatever." "Not whatever. You are literally looking for reasons to be mad. It's like you don't love me anymore." "I-" It was true. So, true. He didn't really want to conclude that though. He was denying it as if. He had indeed not really felt the same way about, like he had used to. Every conversation ended with him criticizing your words. There was something so frustrating about having to continue being a couple. It was draining his energy. His mouth was open slightly, as he was lost in thoughts. Through his eyes, you knew the exact moment the realization hit him. "Yeonjun, you don't love me anymore," you stated what was supposed to be asked. You had suspected it for a while now. There was no excitement to just hang out at home, with you. He needed a bait almost to get him to make time for you. A few weeks ago it was a movie none of his friends were interested in watching . You wished the physical baits worked. They didn't. It's like he had lost interest. The eyes that looked at you with so much interest and want, just stared at you blankly. 

The possibility that he was avoiding paying a thought to, was clear. Yeonjun didn't love you anymore. He felt bad, so bad. Yet, calm about knowing it. "I am sorry." The apology seemed pathetic to you. So pathetic that all you could do was scoff as tears brimmed your eyes. You did still love him. You did see a future with him. You still wanted to do a lot of things with him. You loved him. He didn't. "I'll leave then," you said, turning away, wiping the tears off your face. You didn't want to cry. Mainly because you could tell, he wasn't going to try to stop you. He wasn't going to try and be comforting. The way he sat in his chair, as if he wasn't even mentally present. 

All Yeonjun knew was that a band aid had been ripped. 

Choi Soobin.

Sunday mornings used to be fun. Soobin enjoyed spending time, at home, with you. He used to love talking to you about your interests. Bonding with you over the cartoons you watched as a kid, movies you liked and all was fun. No more. You were talking about a day from highschool that you remembered very well. As Soobin ate his breakfast, eyes on the phone, he could only hope for you to stop. He looked up to smile each time you would laugh in the middle of the story. You were no fool. You could tell he wasn't interested in the story. He hadn't been interested in anything you told him for a while. He made it clear to you. 

You just shut your mouth and waited for him to notice. Perhaps, he'd tell you to go on. You would tell him that you didn't want to speak if he wasn't paying attention. He would promise to try to not make you feel like that. Then, things would go back to normal. That's what you thought. 

"Done," he sang as he stood up with his empty plate and headed to the kitchen. Then, to the bedroom. You were disappointed. You had been many times for the last few months. He was losing interest you could tell. 

He knew he was. As time went by, he was trying to give you subtle hints. That way the heartbreak would be less hurtful, he thought. That was his way of being nice. The two of you had spent a lot of time making promises. He didn't like the way he had run of love. He didn't want to. It just happened unexpectedly. You were ignoring him the entire day, he knew. For some reason, he didn't feel like trying to convince you to stop. That's when he realized, breaking up now would save you the pain. 

"I need to tell you something," he said as he sat next to you on the couch the other day. You pretended to not hear him. "It's serious, y/n. I think we should break up," he said to you. Your eyes opened wide as you turned to him. His soft eyes didn't get as softer because he didn't laugh. He just looked at you seriously. "You're joking, right?" He shook his head. You couldn't stay shocked as you had seen it coming. His hints had done their work. There wasn't any explanation for Soobin. That's all there was to the situation, losing interest and the feelings leaving. Accepting it was all he could do. It was difficult to tell you that but he had to. Perhaps, that's what made dealing with the situation so easy for him. 

Choi Beomgyu. 

Beomgyu never thought this day would come. More like the feelings would leave. Falling for you was a rather exciting and beautiful experience. The dates were all so fun to him too. He loved spending time with you. He used to think you guys would work out. The relationship would do good, you two would even get married, he used to think. Yet, the feelings had faded. He felt bad. The feelings were a source of excitement. Something, to add moments of interest into his life. As much as he didn't want them too, the feelings had gone. 

"I still don't want to believe it," he said to Yeonjun who sat beside him. He was with his bandmate, in the dorms, like he had been ever since realization had struck. He didn't have the courage to face you. 

"Feelings are difficult to understand," said Yeonjun. On this gloomy day, the two guys sat on the floor, watching the rain. The sky was so grey and sad. "Beomgyu, you need to tell her sooner or later. It's better than faking feelings," explained his reliable older friend. Beomgyu gulped. How would he tell you that with the same mouth he used to tell you he loved you with? It was difficult to even imagine your face when you would come to know that. 

He decided to not face you. Instead he decided to type down the perfect words on his notepad. He sat with his phone, on his bed, putting down the words to express his feelings. It was sent to you at night. That night, as he went to sleep he felt bad. He was a coward he had accepted. He was unaware of how you had felt as you read them. The next morning you called him as soon as you saw the message. 

"Is it a prank?," you asked over the phone. You really thought it was. He couldn't be breaking up with you over the phone. It was cruel, you thought. 

"Sorry." That's all he could say. It was sad. You didn't even have much to get mad at. It was the feeling of the cold, cruel parting that caused tears to fill your eyes. You couldn't cry over the phone. You had to be just as cold as he had seemed.  "Beomgyu, fuck off."

Kang Taehyun. 

No one had taught Taehyun what to do when feelings disappear. He was in touch with them and he knew he had run out of love. He wasn't cruel though. Telling you about it would make you sad. Maybe, you would cry too. He was worried about it. So, he decided to turn to the internet. He was reading articles about the best way to break up with someone. That's when you called. 

"Hey," you said to him over the phone. "Hi. How are you?" "Great. What have you been upto?," you asked, noticing the tone. It was the tone Taehyun spoke in whenever he was trying to seem excited. You could tell he wasn't as excited to talk to you. Maybe, he was hiding something. You hoped he was just tired after a long day. That's what you hoped. You could tell that he was being rather distant. 

Taehyun wasn't the kind to become distant. Even on days when he was busy he used to make time. He used to be able to make you feel loved. There were texts you weren't receiving often. There were things he didn't tell you that often. Like, compliments. He used to think it was his duty to make sure you were confident about yourself. He used to do the smallest yet meaningful things to express love. He no more did any of that. He couldn't get himself to. It was cruel. He felt like meaningless acts to fake love were the worst things he could do. He made it obvious. It was so obvious that he was willingly doing it. He had probably stopped loving you, you feared. 

He sighed after a long silence. He couldn't tell you what he was doing. He was looking for the best way to break up with you after all. He didn't want to do it. Hurting people was never fun. He wondered if he was a fool for even thinking that the relationship would last for so long. He wasn't being realistic. Now, he had to tell you that all the feelings he once held for you were gone. He had to do it. He had to tell you the truth. It was equally cruel to let you believe he still loved you after all. "I need to tell you something. Is now a good time?" 

Huening Kai. 

"You aren't going to hang out with y/n?," asked Beomgyu to Huening Kai. The younger who was laying on the couch, phone in his hand looked at the other guy. "Not today." He went back to watching the YouTube video he was watching. 

"You should have told me. I wanted company to go to the movies." 

"You should have asked me," said Kai. He now paused the video. The disturbance wasn't exactly helping with keeping up with the content. "You always spend holidays with her. I thought you would do today too. We have a holiday after so long," said the older guy as he sat on the other end of the couch. He had an open packet of chips in his hand. The chips were being offered to Kai. Kai sat up. "Well, I didn't want to." He ate a chip.

The older only nodded as the younger got lost in thoughts. He had not been feeling like he did at the start of the relationship. He wondered if he was bored. It sounded mean though. He couldn't have gotten bored. He didn't know. So, he decided to think over it. Later that night, he thought that some time away was all he wanted. Next morning, he went through your texts. The ones he had ignored because he couldn't get himself to answer them while thinking of possibly not even liking you. He sent a text telling you that he fell asleep early. He was lying. There was still some amount of guilt he felt about lying, at the end of the day. Still, he found himself doing the same that night too. 

As the week came to an end, his questioning had done too. He didn't have enough feelings to even care about the fact that you might have figured out he was lying everyday. He couldn't be sleeping that much. He never did. Since, he couldn't even care to stop lying, he decided it was best to tell you the truth. 

In front of your door, stood your boyfriend, that morning. You were excited to meet your boyfriend. You were seeing him for the first time in a while. Handing you a box of chocolate, he gave you a small smile. "Hi. I came over because I have something to tell you." 

That was the last time you saw him arrive before your door, with a gift in his hands. Things between the two of you were over. Well, you had to chuck away your feelings for the one you loved had run out of love. 

‹•.•›

To head to my masterlist click here.

 

[cedricslover]

Troubled (final)

Pairing: Cedric Diggory x Fem! Reader

Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3 Pt.4 Pt.5 

Series summary: A very unfortunate situation happened and it resulted in very unfortunate events. You had everything, a good boyfriend that everyone dreamed of, best friends that you got in a twin pack, and a loving school. It was a calm before a storm and in your sixth year the storm came. You faced the consequences your deceased parents run from, you were only left with your only family, your little brother. What would you do in order to save him? The answer is, everything, even if it means joining a terrorist group of wizards, joining THE DEATH EATERS…

Chapter Summary: Death is inevitable 

Note: there is no specific house:))) I would like to thank everyone that kept waiting and was patient enough, I started this series around March and now it is May. This is my very first series and I hope you all liked it! Again thank you so much❤❤

Warnings: angst, death, little bit of violence

Word Count: 4.2k

You stopped in front of a headstone. Your hair brushing your cheeks as the wind blew it. "Hey" you started talking, through the years the big lump in your throat slowly fades whenever you visit. "It must be nice there" you smiled and placed the flowers that you were holding down to the ground. 

You breathed in the familiar smell of the field. The smell of the countryside was really different from London. Closing your eyes, memories of the past came flooding in. 

[5 years ago]

"WHAT?" Phoebe, one of your roommates looked at you with shock, "what?" You chuckled as you ate a chocolate frog. 

"What do you mean "what"? So we're just going to act like we didn't see Diggory in front of our dorm earlier" Alice rolls her eyes as she brushes her blond hair, "Oh yeah we got back together" you shrugged and sat on your bed. 

"You really won't tell us what happened that broke the two of you?" Phoebe's voice became wary, she was trying not to say something bad. You shake your head and smile apologetically. "I'm sorry girls" you felt bad. You wanted to tell them of course, but even your best friends since first year don't even know. And surprisingly didn't even nag you about it. 

"It's alright doll, we understand. Besides, Diggory is a great guy, you two are both smart enough to know what is right and wrong" Alice looks at you, there is always comfort in her eyes. Like she always knows what is going on even if you don't talk. She was the perfect example of the person that you can vent to and she will just listen. 

"How about you girls, anything going on with your lives? Why is it always mine?" You laid down and stared at the ceiling. Silence filled the room. For about 10 minutes only the brushing of the tip of the quill to a parchment, breathing, and the noise from the common room are the only sounds you heard.

"Nothing much" you heard a bed squeaked, it was probably Phoebe's. "My life is the most boring one yet" Alice mutters and sighed,  you can see her sitting on her bed. "I don't think so. Each of our lives have different stories. I don't think that's boring" you replied before you pulled your blanket and be completely eaten up by darkness. 

Weeks have passed, it seemed to be doing great. Everything was falling back to pieces. After the school found out that you and Cedric got back together, George and the Beauxbaton girl also publicized their relationship, both of them explained that it really wasn't you in the photograph-which you completely didn't want them to do because you didn't owe anyone any explanation- but they still did. 

Fred and Angelina seemed to be also doing great, well, especially how Fred is under Angelina. 

Of course Barty Jr.-that's disguising as Professor Moody was always giving you 'the look'. Everytime and everywhere, even at class, even your classmates find it strange why Professor Moody always calls you, and then gets mad. They feel bad but you just let it all go, because you knew what his true colors are. 

"Fred" she warns

"Frederick Gideon" with her scary tone

"Frederick Gideon Weasley" that's when you all know Fred was in trouble. 

"Hello darling" you smiled and kissed Cedric's lips before you sat beside him at the library. You both have free time, especially him, tomorrow was the final task, he was trying to study spells that he might use.   

"Hey" he stops reading and wraps his arms around your waist, "Tired" he murmurs while he buries his head on your neck. "You want to eat sumthin'?" You asked while playing with his fluffy hair, running your fingers through his scalp. "No" you can feel his breathing on your neck, it sends shivers down your spine. 

After a while of complete silence, Cedric's breathing seemed to follow a pattern, that's when you knew he was asleep, in your arms. 

You started humming a song that your mum used to sing you to sleep. You can't see his face, but felt it instead, his nose, his lips, his forehead, it felt peace. It felt like home. 

And later on, you also found yourself getting sleepy, your eyelids drooping down. And before you give up on the warmth, your eyes found the book-or more like a magazine that Cedric was reading earlier, you didn't notice it earlier until now. You let out a smile before you closed your eyes.

'Real Estate Magazine, Countryside Edition'

You woke up early, dressed up early, showered early, and went to get breakfast early, and you didn't expect that a lot of students were up early too. Earlier than usual.

"Y/N!" You turned your head while you chewed a toast. It was the trio. "Hey" you greeted them as they sat in front of you. "You alright?" You looked at them while your forehead creased, "yeah" they all answered in unison, that caught them off guard. 

"Harry's going to be fine don't worry" you shake your head and smile as you reach for another toast. "It's just that-" Harry stopped and his hand went to his forehead, where the scar is. 

"His scar's been hurting ever since he woke up" Ron told you, his face was screaming with worry, just the same as Hermione. 

"You should take a rest Harry. You still have til before dusk. I think that would be enough time to prepare and rest" you said, trying to cover the worry in your voice, and of course the fear. 

You four continued to eat, the Great Hall was starting to get more crowded, noise, banners, cheers, they were all anticipating who will win the triwizard tournament. Although you should be joining this crowd, wearing shirts with the one they support, cheering, waving the banners at 8 am. You can't. You were filled with worry, Harry's scar was hurting, and it seemed strange that the Dark Lord wasn't doing anything the whole year. 

And as you walked by Moody's office, it seemed like your suspicions were answered. 

"I already handled it, Dark Lord. Yes, yes, but how about the girl?" You heard Moody, he was rather loud, obviously he used the opportunity as most of the students would be either outside or the Great Hall.

"She wouldn't be a nuisance, we have his brother. She will be extremely useful for the next few years. She has much more potential than her parents. Let her bloom Barty" a faint voice answered him, that was the reason Harry's scar was hurting since this morning. Mere communication can still cause it, you knew he couldn't possibly be physically here. 

"What if Harry wouldn't be the one touching the cup?" Moody's voice was filled with excitement but at the same time, fear. 

"I'll kill them. And you next. Better do your job Barty." The voice disappeared. Your eyes widened as you heard footsteps slowly approaching the door. You ran to the closest hiding spot and peeked. 

"Better handle that girl then" Moody looked around before he drank again from his flask. "Polyjuice Potion" you whispered as you observed him. 

He walked away, to the direction you came from, you waited until you made sure he was gone. 

"Mad-Eye Moody!" You started banging the trunk where Moody was prisoned, your hands shaking as you got the key from one of the drawers. 

"Moody!" You banged again, panting, your sweat started dripping. Your heart was beating fast, you have to do something. You sure don't know anything, but Moody surely does. 

You finally opened the last layer of it and saw that he was there, peering back at you, he was thinner than the last time you saw him. And he lost a lot of hair too. 

He seemed mad, of course, you were the only person inside the castle that knew the Professor Moody that was going around the school the whole year was an imposter, well aside from Cedric who was suspicious.

You started explaining to him, now this was the person that deserved your explanation, not the gossip people. 

It took a while before he finally understood. He must be thirsty and hungry, but you didn't bring any food but only your wand. You looked for any container and luckily you saw a flask, it must have been a spare Polyjuice Potion, you threw the insides away.

"Aguamenti" you chanted and the flask started to be filled with clean water. You cleaned the mess you made and returned it from what it was when you entered before you slowly dropped the flask to Moody who was now drinking it like he hadn't drank any water for a whole week.

"I cannot hear clearly, but I heard Little Hangleton. You know that right?" You nodded at his question. "I don't know what and how, but they would try to bring the Dark Lord back. In power" he looks directly at your eyes, his gaze was piercing, he was expecting you to do something. And you will. 

"I'll be back" the last words you said to him before you slowly closed the trunk, he nods slightly for a response, there was also something in his look, the same look you saw with your parents when they were about to die, the same look you saw with the people of the Order, it was a look of hope and pride. 

"Hey hey" you stopped on your tracks and it snapped you back into reality, you didn't know what to do, "Y/N?" Cedric cupped your face, you looked at his eyes, his questioning eyes. "What's wrong, love?" He tucked strands of hair from your face to behind your ear. Your breathing started to calm down. 

"They're moving Ced, I have to do something" you admitted, there was no point in keeping it a secret to him. His jaw dropped, he was now looking everywhere, trying to be cautious. 

"What can I do to help?" He asks, you felt bad, and it seemed like he noticed it. "Don't feel bad, Y/N. You already carried too much burden, at least let me help you carry it" his mouth curves as he assures you. "It will all be okay" he whispers, still not letting go of your face.

You were still doubting, but he was persistent. "Protect Harry. Help me protect Harry, Ced" your eyes darted to him, both of you knew this was a life and death situation. This wasn't just those silly games you played before, you both only had one chance to save a life, and this was it. 

"I will" he nods, there was more than just the tournament in his mind now. And that is to protect Harry. At all costs.

You observed Harry the whole time before the task, ofcourse, not being so obvious. You would join the three of them at some point, or drag Harry with you and the twins as they show the fireworks that they made and plan to light up when he wins or Cedric. 

It was a win-win, Harry forgets that bloody scar while you keep an eye on him. 

And now, it was Cedric's turn. 

He kissed your forehead and gave you a little smile. "You did well. Let me take over" he said before he turned his back and let go of your hand. Amos waited for him and waved in your direction. The corners of your mouth turned up, trying to be nice to him, despite how you somehow despised because of how he always pressures his son, he always has to do this, reach this, be like this. It was not healthy. 

You knew he was trying to be a good parent, but you wished he had taken lessons from your father before he died. Thankfully Mrs. Diggory was nice enough to appreciate Cedric's achievements, small or big. 

"You alright?" Alice asked you as you sat at the bleachers. "Quite" you smiled at her and returned your gaze to the champions. You were with Alice now, well long story short, the twins were with their girlfriends, even Phoebe, and Alice invited you to join her so here you are now. You know Alice is beautiful, she is also great in academics, even she and Luna Lovegood could really pass as siblings, they have the same interest in things that were believed to be not there, and even their way of clothing were the same. But they both confirmed that they were not related. Still, you were still quite confused as to why she was not out there, having a partner. 

"You know that guy?" She pointed to Gregory Goyle's older brother. "Yeah?" There were lines forming between your eyebrows. "He asked me out" she giggled and covered her mouth with her hand, her shoulders started shaking, you also laughed. "What really?" You asked in disbelief, you tried your best not to laugh out loud.

You hated Goyle, he always bullies the ones that he believed was weaker, even Alice. He always made fun of Alice and how she always tries to get people's attention. Now look how the tables have turned.

"He asked me out with those cheesy pick up lines, doll. I tried my best not to laugh and just rejected him immediately" you were both still laughing. She stated some of the pick up lines that made you laugh so much but you still tried not to be loud so in the end, you choked on your own saliva while she stifled a laugh as she pats your back.

The laughter seemed to be a curse, bad luck, or just joy before a disaster. Because right after that you all saw a yellow light sparked to the sky, it was from someone in the maze. 

You were the only one who was not confused, because as that yellow spark flashed, it was a message for you.

'He is safe. Cedric's with him' 

Red sparks were seen earlier, it must have been a marker for the injured ones, but the Yellow ones, the audience and judges didn't know what it meant, only you.

You started praying to the higher ups, if they were ever there, listening to you. You prayed that they would be fine. Only a few scratches, but still good. After just a few minutes another yellow spark was seen, the people decided to shrug it off, but you, you were beyond happy and relieved. The second spark should mean that they got to the cup. They should be arriving any second now. 

You anxiously waited for them, ten seconds, twenty, thirty, and then a minute and they weren't still here. 

'Little Hangleton' 'Back in power' ‘Dark Lord’ 'Coming Back' 'Do your job' 'Kill' 

Voices started to cloud in your mind, Moody, Barty Jr., Voldemort, memories, you patched up the information you got. 

And without even thinking twice you disapparated, thankful that Dumbledore lifted the anti-disapparition charm because there were a lot of outsiders anticipating the third task.

You grunted as you stumbled, you hated how apparition makes your insides like they were being squeezed. It was convenient of course, but you didn't like it. 

"Kill the spare"  you heard, your vision was still dizzy, but you knew that voice. Your vision was blurry, the world was spinning and it felt like your intestines were spinning too. It was the after effect of apparating. 

You stood up, still feeling nauseous, “NOOO!” you shouted as you ran, there were figures and you knew who they were. “Avada Kedavra!” it was definitely Pettigrew, no, not Cedric, not me, not Harry, don’t kill us, please, the words repeated in your mind. The few steps felt like a hundred, you wanted to stop time, and as you rushed towards the figures your vision was slowly being clear. And by the time you can entirely see clearly, you wished, you hoped, that someone blinded you, you wished that this was a dream, hallucination, but as you collapsed on your knees, as the rough ground kissed your legs, it was all real.

“Alice...” tears started to fall from your face as you looked at her face. Her reddish cheeks was now white, her lively eyes was now soulless, her warmth, 

It’s gone, she’s gone. 

“YOU!” You stood up, picking up your wand, Cedric stood beside you, “Free Harry” You commanded him, your nose was now flaring, glaring at the two figures in front of you, Peter Pettigrew carrying the weak Voldemort. 

“Expulso!” you incant, in a snap, Voldemort was now dropped to the ground while Pettigrew was far away, “I’ve had enough of you. You and your values” you stared at Voldemort who was now crawling away, he was so weak, and this was the only time you could do it. The only time you could take revenge from all the lives he took.

“You’re so weak, and you should stay weak” You stepped on his thin legs, he screeched like a creature tortured, “You deserve, every, single, pain” now you stomped on his hand, you felt the bone touch the sole of your feet despite wearing shoes. 

“Sectumsempra!” you cried at his pleading face, you thanked that potions book you saw in the classroom. You watched as so blood just came out from the child like figure in front of you, for a second you thought you were doing something beyond your morals, but you remembered, the images of people that this person-no- monster killed, the mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, and friends, he took away so many lives, he made the world like his playground, killing whoever he felt to kill, and that justified what you did. Regret was not even near. 

“Incarcerous” Cedric’s voice echoed, the tense was back again, Pettigrew was still here, “We’ll take care of him” he told you, giving a second to glance at the lifeless Voldemort that was on the ground, curled, you nodded as an approval. 

And like a vase dropped, or someone threw a big stone to your head, you remember Alice's bleeding body, her opened eyes but why? Why is there a ghost of a smile plastered on that doll-like face?

You slowly walked to her lying body, you never expected that this would happen, that she, she would do something like this. Did she just suddenly hold your arm as you disapparated? Is that why she splinched, her arms, even her legs were bleeding. 

“Dumbass, did you even know where I was going.” you kneeled, reached for her face and removed the strands of hair that were blocking her face. “You’re so dumb. Who’s going to call me doll anymore” you blinked and a tear fell straight to her cheek, you blinked again, another tear fell, you blinked, again and again, and at the same time, tears fell on her pale face, you cried, wailed, even shouted while hugging her body. 

She was there when you needed her, she was there to understand you. She was there when you cried, laughed, even if you were sick, she was there. 

“Doll, come here.” Alice called you while you were packing your things, you were a mess, you just heard that your mother was ill, you have to go home. You sighed and let go of the clothes and walked towards her, she tapped the seat in front of the mirror. 

“You know, you should always look tough in front of the people you have to protect. That’s what my parents told me before. The people that saved them from the Death Eaters, they were tough, I told you about that right?” she started brushing your hair, you examined your reflection, your eyebags were visible, you were also definitely thinner than usual, you felt drained. 

“Before my ma died, she told me information about those who saved them. My ma and pa owe their life to them.” even if you didn’t look at her face, you know she was smiling. “She told me that when they were being saved, the woman was pregnant” you can feel the gentleness from her touch. 

“And?” you asked, she was now tying your hair, “and she told me to protect that child, a token of gratitude for giving my ma and pa another tomorrow” she placed the flower accessories in your hair. 

“Did you protect the child?” you turned to her and saw her eyes twinkled, “I still am doll” she replied to you before she handed your bag. Alice used magic to help you pack, you laughed and hugged her, “Thank you” your mouth curved into a smile. “Aww it’s nothing” she waves her hand and rolls her eyes, acting shy. “Shut up” you chuckle before you turn your back and step outside. 

“You impulsive lady, how about that child you should protect. How can you protect them if you’re dead” You were still crying, thinking about all the memories you had with her, and how you would tell Phoebe, she would be heartbroken. 

Was it really necessary? Are sacrifices really necessary? You just wanted to stop a war, a cycle, you wanted to follow the path your parents took, are deaths really necessary? In exchange for peace, a life should be taken. A meaningful life, someone's daughter, friend, and stranger. 

[present]

“Y/N!” a woman’s voice called you, you turned your head and saw a woman, her hair was now just above her shoulder, brown curls jumping as she walked the hill. “Phoebe” you greeted and opened your arms, she sprinted and hugged you. 

“Oop, be careful with the tummy” you grinned and touched your tummy, there was already a big bump, you were pregnant. “Hello there little one” she lowered herself and talked to your bump. 

“It’s her death anniversary isn’t it” she straightened herself and was now staring at the headstone. 

     Alice Constance O’Brien

March 12, 1978 - June 24, 1995

“Hmm” you answered, peace and silence enveloped the both of you. “It was Alice all along.” sadness took over your face as you remembered what Alice has done for you. 

  Loving daughter and friend

                A hero 

“Ced that night when you saw me following the man. Why were you still roaming?” you asked Cedric as he sat at the library.

“I haven’t told you yet? It was the Head Boy, well technically it was Alice actually, she told me that the head boy couldn’t find me so he asked her to tell me. My schedule changed that time” he muttered as he chewed a pumpkin pasty. Your eyebrows shot up and just shrugged. You owe Alice an acid pop at Hogsmeade.

“She was the one who told me about your situation. She must have known about the dark mark but never told us. She wanted to help you, but in the shadows.” Remus admitted as you talked to him about Alice’s death. He was shocked, the whole society members actually. They are now taking care of his subjects that were lurking around. 

“Hello ladies!” George and Fred suddenly appeared, both of them wrapped their arms around each of your shoulders. “Fred. I prefer women, thank you” Phoebe removed Fred’s arm and even tried to dust it off, “Rude” Fred squinted his eyes at her while she just smirked and flipped her hair.

“Where’s your husband and brother?” George asked and also placed flowers at the ground. Now there were a lot of flowers for Alice. “You’re liking that aren’t you?” you talked to the headstone, you were all just silent. Even the loud twins fell in silence, they liked Alice, not romantically, they admired her, how she was unique, always had a voice, and how she stood up for herself. 

“I love it doll” you heard a whisper as the breeze came by, you knew it was her, it had always been her. She was still there, watching. 

“Oh Alice” Phoebe started crying, the twins tried to offer her a hug but she went to you instead, you sniggered as you saw their offended face. 

They all felt her. 

“Hey!” two voices called all of your attention and there it was, Cedric your husband, and your eight year old brother. Theodore hurried to the twins that immediately picked him up, he liked them. “We bought snacks.” Cedric raised a basket and spreaded out a cloth to the grass. 

“Are you crying?” Cedric inspected Phoebe who still has her nose red from crying. “Yes. What about it” she rolled her eyes and got bread from the basket while Cedric was still arranging the cloth. “I’m just asking.” Cedric chuckled and shook his head. 

You observed each and one of them, they all changed, with their own careers and life, of course they will change. Cedric was now working at the ministry, he did once think about being a professional quidditch player, but he felt like a work at the ministry would be better, and he liked it. The twins and their joke shop was still going, stronger as it was before, they’ve built quite the reputation, and Phoebe, she was now a Herbologist, she always had an interest in plants. 

And you, you also built your career, with your dream job. 

Are you seeing this Alice? I made it. We made it. 

You carefully sat at the cloth and they all asked you what you would name the child inside of you. Your eyes gleamed, you always knew that if you had a chance to name your child it would be…

“Alice”