#last time i went to get a chest x-ray done for NZ was an ordeal of its own

[thistransient]

Canadian Friend (my only good friend in Taipei rn) has been trying to convince me to rent a room in the building he’ll be moving into (when he gets out of covid home-quarantine, anyways- I dodged a bullet by being too tired to go along to the event where he got it last weekend). I finally went to have a look yesterday, mainly because the Terrible Snoring Man in my hostel dorm came back after a weekend absence. The manager showing the place first tried to interest me in a ground floor room that opened directly to the street, but didn’t do a great job as his first words regarding it were “你怕老鼠嗎?” (‘Are you afraid of [mice/rats]?’ Hard to distinguish because the word is the same for both in Chinese, so I asked if he meant little ones (mice) or big ones (rats) and he was like oh, all of them!)

Anyways this place is back up north in Shilin District, so a 30-45 min commute depending on mode of transport and traffic. I feel conflicted. Pros: living near a friend, which means meeting my socialisation and food quotas. The place is pretty basic, I probably wouldn’t be tempted to lay around in there more than necessary. The landlord is willing to do a half-year lease. Cons: I had initially been willing to commute to school if it meant more affordable and nicer housing, but in this case it’s both far away AND not super nice? I really like being able to walk out the door at 8:20, buy a drink at 7-11, snarf down a breakfast sandwich from a roadside stand en route to school, and be in my seat by 8:35 for an 8:40 start. I’m also concerned about either going into hermit-mode after class or conversely, some light social drinking becoming the road to back to ruin (I got some kind of fruity 3% Japanese soda last time at the night market which doesn’t exactly portend disaster but it’s a slippery slope hey).

 I feel hypocritical for settling when I said I was going to get a nice proper apartment this time in Taiwan, and being afraid to commit to anything because I still don’t have a solid plan for the end of the study term I’ve paid for (find a job? keep studying Chinese? university? something else?). I had grand dreams to spend this time making connections, working on my art and living it up, but in the end I’m just tired. Intensive class is intense. How did I manage to forget that it was like this last time too?? I come home and need to take a nap for 2-3 hours, then just Lay There for a while. Suddenly it’s time for dinner (if I can even decide what to eat) and homework and then my alarm to take a shower goes off and what the heck, it’s bedtime already? I mysteriously and consistently wake up at 04:00 now. Last night I had a dream that I was back in Thailand, waiting for a flight to some other destination when I looked at the dream people around me and said “Hey, there’s NO way I’d leave Taiwan while the borders are still closed and I’d have to quarantine again going back in. This is a DREAM I tell you, a DREAM! Where am I really??!” and in a great psychic struggle, my outrage finally resulted in waking up in bed, feeling very vindicated. No, it wasn’t the mutant pet baboons who could speak English that seemed unrealistic and out-of-place to my brain, but being on the wrong side of a closed border does it every time.