#last time i was going on my religion forming ramble she talked about stuff i (kindly) found less intresting like how the horsegod | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

peachcitt · 4 years ago

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for the meta writing asks: 20 and 4? ☺️

okay so thank you so much for asking these questions and wanting to know more about how i write and basically im saying ilysm and also that this got really really long SO if you’d like to hear about the stuff i think about/thought about while writing, click the read more!!

warning for: bone tea spoilers (like. spoilers for the end of the fic) and some mention of religion

20. tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

let’s talk about bt! because god knows there’s a whole lot in there that i could talk about for hours BUT let’s talk specifically about gabriel and lila - our two favorite villains. NOW if you haven’t read bt (you can read it here) and don’t mind being hella spoiled for how it ends, gabriel is the father of adrien, one of the main protagonists, and lila is an ex-lover of marinette, the other main protagonist. throughout the whole story, i made it so that the relationships marinette and adrien have with gabriel and lila remain really complicated.

at the start of bt, we know adrien has cut himself off from his father and hasn’t seen him in years. as the story progresses, adrien and gabriel begin to make the steps of re-establishing a father-son relationship, and it’s something that adrien really does seem to feel good about. and then gabriel tells him that he’s hawkmoth, the guy who’s been killing people. so that’s not great.

for marinette, we’re given the sense that she’s been very isolated for a while, at least in the world of magic. when shit hits the fan, lila comes along, and it’s revealed that the relationship marinette and lila had before bt was a very passionate one that ended very badly. when chat confesses to marinette, we learn that in some ways, marinette still hasn’t recovered from the relationship she had with lila. and it turns out, lila joins up with hawkmoth for the sole reason of ruining marinette in any way she possibly can as revenge for breaking her heart. so that’s also not great.

here’s bits from the final fight scene, aka the scene where both gabriel and lila are defeated:

Within seconds, his body was dropping unceremoniously to the floor, his life buzzing around amongst her teeth, and she was turning around, sparing no glances to the limp form of the man who had killed her friends, killed her other half.

Marinette’s eyes widened. She and Lila both turned their heads to Adrien, pushing himself up from the floor. There was a determined light in his eyes, and Marinette knew. She knew he was going to do it, and he was going to do it right.

“To worlds far and unreturnable-”

Lila also seemed to know.

She turned her head back to Marinette, desperate, unhinged. She raised her arms, the blood and the silver glinting.

“BEGONE!”

it might be a little hard to tell since these are very small snippets, but here’s what i wanted to point out: in this final fight, marinette is the one to defeat gabriel, and adrien is the one to defeat lila. in a sense, marinette and adrien defeated each other’s antagonist.

in the final scene, they felt that they had literally no other choice; adrien was dead, gabriel offered his life, and marinette knew that was the only viable option for adrien to come back. marinette was pinned down, lila had the upper hand, and adrien knew marinette wouldn’t say the words in time to save herself. this was, to me, the ultimate symbol of adrien and marinette’s partnership and relationship; they always had each other’s backs, they were always balancing each other out.

but, i also felt that i was robbing the both of them the chance to feel closure for the abuse they each suffered. despite everything, adrien loved gabriel (his last words before dying were “i love you” directed toward the entire room - not just marinette, not just emilie, but also to gabriel) and marinette loved lila (even when she was inhabiting another body, marinette could still see lila behind it all - her last words to her, and presumably the last words she thought she would ever say were “i loved you; with everything i had, i loved you”)

SO let’s look at two moments from the final chapter:

After a moment, Adrien took a deep breath, wiping the tears from his eyes. “Is he still here?” he asked, and Marinette nodded. Adrien stared down at the grave, eyebrows furrowed. “Go now, Father,” he said softly, almost gently. “Go.”

Gabriel opened his mouth as if to say something in protest, and then he swallowed, glancing at Marinette and Emilie. He bowed his head, and he faded away, out of sight.

“He’s gone,” Adrien whispered. It wasn’t a question.

She rubbed her thumb over the little fix insignia, and she murmured the spell to wipe the hex away under her breath. When she pulled her hand away, the fox was gone, and so were all the traces of Lila’s magic. “It’s done,” she said, and she resolutely placed the book back into its proper place.

“Done?” Adrien asked, and Marinette nodded.

“Yeah. She’s gone.” And it was like a little weight had lifted off of her shoulders.

again, it might be a little hard to tell in these small snippets, but here’s what happened: at gabriel’s funeral, gabriel’s ghost shows up and adrien is the one to send him away for good. at marinette’s bookshop, marinette finds an old hex that lila left on one of the books from a while back, and she is the one to wipe away the hex.

so, through these small final scenes, i tried to give adrien and marinette the opportunity to say goodbye to the people they both loved and hated on their own terms. it was important for me to show that they saved each other without question in the final fight, but it was just as if not more important for me to give them each the space and peace so that they could come to terms with and turn the page on their past traumas.

dkjdkdskdkd that was basically a whole ass essay im sorry gnjfghjf BUT ive been wanting to ramble about that ever since i finished bt so THANK YOU for letting me do that

(ive also been thinking about maybe doing a bt reread before/after i post the special extra chapters where i reread bt and make comments like this about the thoughts i had while writing so let me know if any of y’all would like to see that!!) anyways next question sjffkj

4. share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

"We are all God's things, all made of the same materials as everything else. There is a piece of Rome here, and there is a piece of here in Rome. The divinity does not lie in the place, but rather in the hands that shaped the place."

"Construction workers and artists that died hundreds of years ago made Rome," Will said, and Hannibal turned his eyes on him. A tumbling sort of feeling fell upon Will's stomach. "The company down the road made this one."

"Aren't the hands of God's people holy? Aren't the thoughts born from their brains pieces of the clay that He shaped, breathed life into?"

this is from my hannigram fic the dark and the stained glass watchers and there’s a couple of reasons why im proud of this, the first being that i was very drunk when i wrote this fic sfkjhsfkj

literally i got drunk and i was like. hm i think i will write something gay and kind of blasphemous and then i wrote this fic that has a lot of really really good lines in it that i actually genuinely enjoy sober (if you haven’t watched hannibal and are curious about this fic - don’t worry you can read it if you want! it’s an au, so you don’t actually have to know anything about the show to read it)

im also proud of this bit because i have a sort of complicated relationship with religion skfjkfdk i was raised catholic which, as many know, has the ability to do wonders on your psyche in the long run in certain cases, and ive never really felt very connected to church or that strict sort of religion in general. im still not really sure exactly what i believe, to be honest - but i like to believe in the idea of holiness, of divinity. and, in this blasphemous gay hannibal fanfiction i wrote while drunk, i feel like in some ways i was finally able to put words to the things in my head regarding religion and belief in a way that i think is really beautiful. and im lowkey pretty proud of that.

anyway thank you so much for allowing me to ramble on about this stuff i love you and everyone who managed to read through all of this skjfghsfjh y’all are so strong

#anon #ask #my writing #my writing meta #YALL IM SO SORRY I TALKED SO MUCH SJHLHLLDS #I LITERALLY CANNOT BELIEVE MYSELF FJKGHFLKGHS #(but actually i can believe myself i never shut up ddsdkkskdk)#i really just said: let me info dump about bt and also about me getting drunk and writing about how everything's holy #also i know the talk about religion is kind of A Lot and im really sorry about that because i know that's kind of a weird topic to get into #i almost chose a different passage but in the end i decided that this is something that i am actually pretty proud of #and also something that i think is really beautiful #(and you don't have to agree with me!!! that's perfectly valid!!!!!)#also about bt if any of you would like me to do a bt reread where i talk about meta like this please actually let me know #because i kind of want to do it actually #(and i know this is super long so that's probably not looking super appealing BUT #if/when i do the reread i'll make the comments shorter because i won't have to explain so much about the plot/situation ya feel)#so just let me know!!!

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wheremytwinwatches · 5 years ago

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[Where My Twin Watches]: Puella Magi Madoka Magica Episode 7

*Finishes re-rewatching Treasure Planet* Ah, what a good movie. That and I,Robot and Terminator 2 and Captain America: The Winter Soldier and Star Wars and- Wait, why did I start watching all these movies again? I remember it had something to do with Transhumanism. Something about contracts and a Bunny-cat being a dick and girls who were actually lichs… Oh crap, the thread! That is a very big moon.

Sayaka’s slowly walking back to her apartment, her face shadowed and… what, seriously? Madoka isn’t there? What the heck, Madoka? You just let your friend leave on her own after that whammy? She’s entered her apartment now, not being very quiet about closing the door. Does she live on her own? If it turns out she’s an orphan too I’m going to snap. Lights on, Sayaka tosses her Soul Gem (which is actually herself, what the heck) onto the table KYUBEY. GET OUT. BACK TO THE LIST CORNER WITH YOU. “You tricked us, didn’t you?” She didn’t even have to turn around and see he was there, did she? It’s obvious that the little jerk would waltz in uninvited. Oh you are such an asshole! “I just didn’t explain exactly what form you’d be taking to do that”? Oh yeah, that’s such a minor detail, not worth mentioning, really! “Because you never asked.” Because they never asked?! Informed consent, Bunny-cat! Learn it! Aw HELL no. You don’t get to use “even Mami never noticed to the very end” as an excuse. Ever think that maybe if she knew the risks she wouldn’t have worn her literal soul as a hairpin?! The little jerk keep on listing the advantages of Soul Gems. He really doesn’t see anything wrong with what he’s done, does he? Kyubey? What are you doing with Sayaka’s Soul Gem? What the hell is wrong with you, Bunny-cat? You want to show how relatively fragile a human body is to pain? Fine, there are plenty of other ways to show that without inflicting Sayaka with enough pain to make her collapse! WHY ARE YOU STILL DOING IT?! We get it, Soul Gems dampen pain reception between the mind and body! Stop torturing Sayaka! Please, she’s crying! Friggen finally. Sayaka, you need to get up, grab that little demon, and chuck him out the window. And never let him get close to your Gem, alright? As Sayaka recovers, Kyubey is rambling about how Magical Girls can control the degree of pain reception on their own, but he doesn’t recommend it at it lowers reaction time. ...wow, ok. Even I can see that manipulation at work there. You inflict Sayaka with severe pain, and then ‘offhandedly mention’ that she can make it so she feels no pain at all? Real subtle, Bunny-cat. Because why worry about the well-being of these girls when you can make them that much more aggressive in getting you food? And then he uses the “I’ve granted the Wish that you (unintentionally) sold your soul for” card. Yep, I just saw the show’s familiar torture one of the main characters, manipulate her into unlocking a pain-free fighting style (who needs the warnings that a body part is damaged, anyway?) and claim that she owes him for services rendered. So of course, we go into the bright and poppy Intro of Lies! Ugh. Get out of Madoka’s room, you jerk. And get away from Mami, too! Episode 7: Can you face your true feelings? It’s school the next day, seems that Sayaka skipped out. Wonder if the attendance office would accept a “I was tricked out of my soul by a Bunny-cat” as an excused absence. Aw. Looks like she’s been curled up under her blankets since last night, she didn’t even change her clothes. But hey, why worry about what you meat-puppet is wearing, right? On Fancy Rooftop now, Madoka’s meeting with Homura. Hey, that’s right, she knew about the “MGs are actually inside the Soul Gem” thing, right? Why didn’t you say anything, Homura? Damn! Madoka’s actually calling Homura out on it, asking if she really did know… but she says she tried telling others in the past. And nobody ever believed her. Ouch. I mean… yeah, it’s a really farfetched story. And I guess the only way to prove it would be for her to purposefully get far away from her Soul Gem. And that’s way too big a risk to take. Now they’re talking about how Kyubey doesn’t think he’s done anything wrong. Interesting how Homura’s calling him an it now, saying it cannot comprehend human values. I’ll be using that for Bunny-cat from now on, matches the clinical detachment. Sure, it insists that “a (short) lifetime of fighting Witches to feed me” is equal to “granting a single Wish”. Yup, Madoka’s not agreeing to the exchange rate. Healing one person’s non-fatal injuries does not equal service as a Magical Lunch Lady. But Homura’s simply saying that it was a miracle, something impossible made possible. ...oh stop being so moody, Homura. You can’t know that medical science would never be able to heal his hands. The guy’s still in middle school, for crying out loud, he has his whole life ahead of him! Just because current science isn’t able to do it, doesn’t mean you should assume that it never will. I will concede that a miracle, a proper miracle, is a Big Deal. I’m a little more iffy on whether it is of greater value that an entire human life. But you will NOT convince me that healing one person’s hands is equal to the life of a Magical Girl. Ooh, good point Madoka! For all of Homura’s “give up on her” talk, if she hadn’t become a Magical Girl then Madoka, Hitomi, and all the other people in that factory would have died! (Urgh, I’m am so torn between my I WAS RIGHT from that episode and my understanding now of what becoming a Magical Girl does) Oh. “Don’t confuse gratitude with responsibility.” That’s… that’s pretty heavy. Homura’s hammering home the point that Madoka is just a human, who has no ability to save Sayaka Miki. She shouldn’t try to ‘repay’ Sayaka to alleviate her sense of guilt. ...wow. That is… wow. Somewhere the ghost of Thomas Hobbes is applauding Homura’s self-interest philosophy. Well, ok. I guess one’s sense of morality can be slightly affected by being an undead magic user. It’s a lot easier to justify self-interest when the Muggles you know die of old age and your associates keep getting killed by these monsters. Why stay constrained by human ethics when you see yourself as no longer human? So does that make Mami a Pro-Human Transhuman, then? Sayaka’s still in her bed… Oh. Oh DAMN. That’s… Um. I mean, it’s, uh, not really that bad? I mean, just because your soul now fits in your pocket that doesn’t mean you can’t still date and… Damn. That’s something I didn’t even consider. The basis of Sayaka making the Contract was to heal Kamijo, and we have to admit there was a degree of “I can get his affection” in that Wish. But with the realization of how she relates to her former body now? Not to mention the whole “eternally young” thing. Damn it, Bunny-cat. The hell? Who just spoke? Kyoko? She wants to talk? Sayaka’s dressed and following Kyoko through the park now, who’s busy chomping down apples. Huh, she says she’s ok with the whole zombie thing. Well, you can’t deny that the powers of a Magical Girl can be useful, I suppose if you focus enough on the benefits you can rationalize the whole lich thing. Sayaka calls her out on her “you get what you pay for” attitude. Although I’m suddenly wondering if she paid of all the food she’s been eating. Having MG powers probably makes it easier to get five-finger discounts. Kyoko cheerfully agrees. Huh. “And if you live only to benefit yourself, you’ve got to pay for your own mistakes too.” And suddenly you’ve made self-interest sound noble. If you don’t involve others, then you don’t- *Suddenly remembers that Kyoko has advocated letting Familiars kill bystanders in order to get more Grief Seeds* Nope, never mind, still hate you. The sun’s sinking lower as the two girls reach some sort of old building, which Kyoko kicks down the door of. Broken stained glass? So is this an old church or art gallery or something? Well, whatever this place is, it’s certainly seen better days.

We're at the dilapidated stained-glass building, I'm thinking it's a church of some sort as the camera's looking at an altar sort of thing in front of where the biggest window would be.

Sayaka's asking why Kyoko had her come out here, Kyoko says it's a long story and tosses her an apple. Huh, is this like when she offered Homura pocky, a sign of trust?

Ooh, but Sayaka just tossed it to the ground. I don’t mean to nitpick, Sayaka, but it looks like Kyoko’s extending an olive branch here. You don’t have to like the hard-line MG, but maybe a truce could

WHOA ok Kyoko did not like that, she rushed forward and his lifting Sayaka off the ground. And that is a gruesome crackling sound, I really hope that’s just her uniform.

“Don’t ever waste food. I’ll kill you if you do.” Don’t waste food around Kyoko, got it.

Yup, Kyoko is bodily lifting Sayaka by the collar, until she calms down and lets her drop. Then she picks up the apple, dusts it off and puts it back in the bag.

Ooh, new music? Backstory for Kyoko? I still hate her for the whole “letting Familiars go” thing, but after my Homura rage was shown to be a little excessive and Kyubey proved to be a dick I’m willing to hear this story out.

“See… this was my dad’s church.” Aha, it is a church! Wait, ‘was’?

Aw, paper-cutout stick puppets! That’s adorable. We see Kyoko’s pastor dad get passed by two smaller cutouts… little sister? Aw dammit, this is another “How a MG became an orphan” story, isn’t it?

“He thought that in order to save a new generation, we needed to have a new religion.” Well, hopefully without sparking any religious debate, that sounds pretty good to me. Not quite sure about the “preaching stuff that wasn’t in the Bible” part, but he seems earnest at least.

So people stopped attending the church, and he got excommunicated by the overall Church? Harsh.

“From the outside, he probably looked like some raving cultist.” Good to see that Kyoko recognizes that while she believes (believed?) in what he taught she understands it could be seen as radical. Although was it really necessary to dump water on the guy, random person? Yes he’s preaching at your house, but that doesn’t mean you should treat him like that.

Side note: dumping water out a window? Do people still do that, now? Or is this Backstory set in a time when it was more common? After all, with the whole meat puppet thing, I don’t think it’s that much of a stretch to place this way back when.

“It got to the point where our entire family didn’t even have food to eat.” Oh, explanation for why she always has food! Nice touch, show!

...damn it, this show’s making my sympathize with the character who argued for Muggles as Monster Chow by showing how her family was starving… ok, fine, Kyoko. You can have a cushion for your chair.

Nice art style here! Showing Kyoko playing with these paper stick puppets while the girls’ art style stands out against the background.

Little Girl Kyoko just couldn't understand why all this was happening. Why people couldn’t just hear her father out and see that he was right.

And then she met Kyubey.

“And so I asked Kyubey to make everyone listen seriously to what my dad said.”

Oh. Oh no.

The very next day the church was packed full of people again. And each of their paper cutouts has red eyes and an image of Kyoko’s Soul Gem on their chest.

Damn it, Kyubey. She asked for people to listen to her dad, not get mind-controlled by him.

Bunny-Cat Jerk: “What’s the difference? They’re hearing the same words either way.”

It must have seemed so perfect. Her dad’s church is doing well, and she’s got cool new superpowers and monsters to fight. Her dad got to preach to the world, and she took care of the Witches. So she threw herself into Witch-hunting. Because between the two of them, they could save the world.

Hey, cutout of a taller woman holding hands with them! Wasn’t sure there was a mom in the picture until now.

But then her dad found out. And when he found out that the people were compelled to come by magic rather than belief, he “flipped out”. He called Kyoko “a witch who tainted people’s hearts”. WOW. Ok, in any magical setting that would be some harsh words, but when the demons are called Witches…when she hunted real Witches every night...

Oh no.

Yup. Orphan story.

Damn it. This doesn’t excuse her letting innocents die, but when it resulted in her father killing the rest of the family and then committing suicide…

I’ll be right back, going to get Kyoko some pocky to snack on.

“My wish destroyed my whole family.” Kyoko says that because she went and made a wish for someone else, without really knowing what he wanted, it brought everyone misfortune.

“Right then, I vowed in my heart never to use magic to help anyone else again.” Ouch. So Kyoko’s self-interest stems from the results of her Wish. If helping others only ends up in misfortune, then it is best to use if for your sake and yours alone.

This show seems to really be stressing a philosophy of ‘equal and opposite reaction’. Is karma the right term? “If you wish for hope, an equal amount of despair will be rained down upon you, too”. Seems that’s what Kyoko believes now, seeing it as preserving the world’s balance.

Sayaka asks Kyoko why she told her all of this. Huh, Kyoko really is trying to teach Sayaka, isn’t she? Like Homura’s trying to keep Madoka from making a contract and losing her soul, Kyoko’s trying to get Sayaka to, from her perspective, stop wasting her energy on helping others when whatever good she does will be countered by despair… I don’t think that Sayaka’s going to really approve of this philosophy.

Sayaka questions where “teaching others about how the world sucks” falls in a self-interest philosophy, Kyoko says that she’s trying to stop Sayaka from a life that will bring more regrets. You’ve already “paid your dues”, time to get your money’s worth! (Unintentionally) sold your soul? Then live it up on earth!

“I was really wrong about you.” Sayaka?

Oh! She’s apologizing for her initial opinion of Kyoko. But she still doesn’t regret making her wish for someone else’s sake. Go Sayaka!

“I’ve decided that I’ll never regret anything. Ever.” Um. Go Sayaka? I mean, good words, but I’m not sure that anyone could live up to that.

Huh. You don’t think you paid too high a price? We are still talking about your soul here, right?

“Because, depending on how we use it, this magic can be used for wonderful things.” Alright! Ally of Justice, everyone! Screw how dark this show’s gotten, we can still turn this around! Right?

Right?

Oh dear. She wants to know where Kyoko got her apples from.

Aw crap. Just when I get all excited about Sayaka not getting turned away from being a Hero, she goes full-on Paladin. And not the Paladin that you want in your party, either, but the “Almighty Babysitter” type a DM would use to keep the players in check. Yes, you want the rogue to exercise some self-control, but nobody likes partying with a Lawful Stupid character.

Sayaka. Kyoko just told you her Tragic Backstory in the ruins of her father’s church. Are you really going to chastise her about where she stole a bag of apples? Yes, yes you are. *sigh*

Kyoko is not happy about her advice getting so totally rejected, angrily eats an apple while Sayaka walks away.

Well this is just great. I can admire Sayaka not regretting her choice, but you do remember your last ‘fight’ with the more-experienced MG? It did not end well. What makes you think you could do better next time?

Sayaka’s walking to school now, I assume the next day. Hey, Madoka and NPC, I mean Hitomi! All three are walking along, Sayaka claims she was feeling sick the day before-

Hey, Kamijo! Oh. Kamijo. And Sayaka didn’t know he was going back to school

In class Kamijo’s the center of attention, chatting about he’s aiming to set aside the crutches next week. Madoka suggests that Sayaka go talk with him, but she says that she’s fine.

Closeup of Hitomi?

Wait, why are they at Fancy Food Court again? And it’s just Sayaka and Hitomi.

“About love.” Wait. Wait, no. No no no NO.

Hitomi has a crush on Kamijo.

Hitomi, please stop. This is…

Hitomi. You have no idea what damage you are causing right now. I understand from your perspective you are just expressing your intent to a friend of yours in an attempt to prevent any bad feelings. That’s commendable, really, a proper thing to do. Good manners.

But this is the boy that Sayaka, while unintentionally, sold her soul to heal.

I am begging you, do not do this.

Great, a deadline. Hitomi’s waiting until after school the next day to confess her feelings to Kamijo, so Sayaka has a chance to.

Well, great.

Later that night, at Sayaka’s apartment complex…

KYUBEY. SCREW YOU.

Bunny-Cat Jerk: “Ah, whatever. Time for my magical lunch ladies to get me more food!”

Madoka’s waiting for Sayaka again. What a good friend. And after the wtfery of the last few days, from listening to Kyoko’s Tragic Backstory to Hitomi’s deadline, Sayaka starts crying. She had a moment that day where she almost regretted something…

Sayaka, it’s ok to regret things. Nobody is perfect-

WOW OK. That’s a little different, thinking “If only I hadn’t saved Hitomi that time…”

Let me try that again. Sayaka, there are things that it is ok to regret, but succeeding in saving a life is not one of them. By all means, never regret that. And stop trying to hold yourself up to Mami’s level, you are at most a few weeks into the job, if not days. You’ll become a worthy Magical Girl in your own time, there’s no shame in that.

And I’m sorry about the Hitomi situation, that you feel that it’s inevitable and there’s nothing you can do because you’re “already dead”. Please, Sayaka. It sucks that your life is now this because of Bunny-Cat’s dick move, and I can’t see a painless way to get out of this. But please, talk with Madoka. Be a good example to Kyoko and Homura. Don’t let the problems of today weigh you down. You are Sayaka Miki, student of Mami Tomoe. You will be a glorious Magical Girl, a hero. Just stay strong.

Sayaka’s doing a little better after Madoka give a shoulder to cry on. Keep being a good friend, Madoka. Now, let’s go save the Muggles!

In what looks like an old construction site…

Kyoko’s there, chomping on a popsicle as she looks at a labyrinth. Are the others in there already?

Oh hey, Homura! She questions why Kyoko is on the sidelines right now, Kyoko says that Sayaka’s fighting a full-fledged Witch tonight. So since it’s sure to drop a Grief Seed, no reason to let the Familiar go to eat more people. As for why she’s letting someone else fight the ‘prey’? She doesn’t answer. Hmm, did Sayaka’s response leave an impact?

Inside the labyrinth, the art style seems to be black silhouettes against a white background.

Hey, this is Sayaka’s theme, isn’t it?

Sayaka’s charging the Witch, but keeps getting blocked by these dragon-head things. She almost reaches the… bonsai tree? But a branch grows and traps her. Madoka runs forward- oh hey, Kyoko’s here and cut her loose! She scoffs about Sayaka’s performance and gets ready to atta- nope, Sayaka tells her to get out of the way, that she’ll do this alone. Are you sure about that, Sayaka? This is a Witch, after all.

Ouch, that’s got to hurt. Good thing she can heal, though.

Wait. Is she laughing?

Um. She’s not dodging anymore, just charging. And now she’s slashing wildly at the Witch while still laughing.

“It’s really true! If I just detach myself…”

Oh no.

Ranubis said:As Sayaka recovers, Kyubey is rambling about how Magical Girls can control the degree of pain reception on their own, but he doesn’t recommend it at it lowers reaction time. ...wow, ok. Even I can see that manipulation at work there. You inflict Sayaka with severe pain, and then ‘offhandedly mention’ that she can make it so she feels no pain at all? Real subtle, Bunny-cat. Because why worry about the well-being of these girls when you can make them that much more aggressive in getting you food?

Well, this is just GREAT. Sayaka’s gone and turned into a Berserker Paladin, hasn’t she?

“...I really don’t feel any pain! *crazed laughter*”

Sayaka. Sayaka, please. Don’t do this. Going into a Berserker Rage never helps.

Can’t you hear Madoka begging you to stop?!

Well. That was certainly a cheery point to end the episode. Last time we discovered that the girls were lichs. Now Sayaka’s gone and started fighting in Berserker Mode. What’ll happen next, Madoka’s Mom gets killed by a Witch?!

Ugh. This show, you guys.

After Credits Picture! And adorable image of Kyoko, Sayaka and Madoka snacking on fish treats, while Sayaka yanks Kyubey away from the bag. If only this was the show that we had…

“I’m going to be a different kind of magical girl from all of you...That’s what I’ve decided...I don’t need thanks or recompense. I’ll be the one magical girl who won’t use her magic for herself.”

Well, that’s a good Hero Statement. Good for you Saya-

Episode 8: I Was Stupid… So Stupid

...what. No. NO. THAT IS A HORRIBLE EPISODE TITLE, WHY WOULD YOU-

#wmtw #where my twin watches #ranubis #pmmm #puella magi madoka magica #pmmm 7

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smokedcapybara · 6 years ago

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I somehow ended up rambling to someone on a discord server about some of my oldest characters and I realized just how much they affected how I write

not like my writing voice or anything like that but how I treat tropes and my sorta go-to bases for characters and how I do relationships and interactions and stuff like that

and I realized that despite the huge impact they’ve had on me and how much I love them I don’t talk about them very often, especially on here

so I’m gonna dedicate the rest of this post to going through every one of those early roleplays and the characters that came from them and how they’ve affected my writing

First - The Shadow Warriors

the first ever roleplay that I got create the story for - and I went straight for trope subversion without even knowing what that was

I took every stereotype for evil characters I could think of and made that the good guys and made the literal knights in shining armor the not technically evil but misinformed and working for Bad empirialistic governments ‘bad guys’

essentially the story was that there was a small village in the one inhabitable part of a mountain range and all these surrounding empires wanted the village to be part of them so they could say the whole range was theirs but the villagers refused so the empires started sending in soldiers

but the village was defended from the attempts at force by a black dragon that had made his home in the mountains

so the empires started sending more troops

and he fought them all off

and eventually the empires all stopped trying

but all the battles left the dragon much weaker than before and he could barely hunt for himself

so the village sent up some of their youth, to hunt for him or be eaten by him(though they hoped for the former), and he chose a few of the youth to stay with him, hunt for him and be trained by him, and sent the rest back down

and it became a tradition, every year the village would send all the youth of a certain age up the dragon’s mountain, he’d select some to stay and the rest would return, and then those that stayed would be trained and would help hunt

and when the first group reached adulthood he selected some of them to help him train the younger ones and sent the rest back down to use what he had taught them to defend the village

among the things he taught was the ability to turn into shadowy smoke to avoid injury and all who he taught wore black to match his black scales, so the villagers began calling them the Shadow Warriors

and then after a short time the empires started sending knights on quests to slay him and the task of defending him and his students was taken up by the Shadow Warriors

so the roleplay started with all our characters being sent up the mountain for the selection(or, all but two who were introduced later as members of the next year’s batch)

my first two were

a dark skinned girl with an analytical mind and a loyalty to rules, a woman of science and alchemy, named Alexir(pronounced like elixir)

and a soft spoken enigma, pale as snow, with his own strict morals, and a talent for illusions, he had no name but his fellow students started calling him Pale Boy because everyone from the village was at least tan, later he earned the moniker Illusion for his absolute mastery of his own senses and everyone else’s

my character who came later with his twin brother was originally named Rainbow but I’ve since changed it to the Norse word for rainbow, which is Regnbogi, the son of a pirate he was a shamelessly flamboyant jokester with gorgeous rainbow hair(I was not creative with names) and a missing eye from a childhood accident

and then of course there was the dragon himself

Svartr

of course his original name was much less Norse and much more obvious

Shade

the shadow dragon

even more shamelessly flamboyant than Regnbogi

he had a ‘human form’ that was pale skinned with red eyes and long black hair and a black goatee

he talked and walked and draped himself over furniture like your classic ‘flamboyant villain’ character

he’s a huge flirt

and he’s incredibly selfless and benevolent

also he gets what I call ‘The Adventurer’s Itch’, the inability to remain stagnant for any significant length of time, every couple hundred years he has to go on an adventure(this infuriates the rest of the Dragon Prince Council[which I created many years after the Shadow Warriors] cause it causes him to be late to many council meetings and even miss some altogether)

obviously, Shadow Warriors affected my tendency to subvert tropes, not because I think it’ll make the story somehow Better or because I’m Making a Statement or for Plot Twist or anything, I just Really Enjoy how it makes me think

it also gave me the base characters of 1.flamboyant man(usually a flirt but not always), 2.intellectual woman, 3.soft-spoken man

and my tendency to gravitate anyone with those bases to people with the other bases

Second - The Pantheon

the second ever roleplay I got to create the story for

and once again I decided to go big or go home

I said ‘lets take every religion on earth and make a world where none of them are true, and actual deities grow up as just normal humans until they Discover their deity-ness. now let’s take a bunch of kids in a street gang and have them suddenly find out that they’re all deities’

and so I have my two street gang girls

Rebecca, the wiry, excitable, blonde knife fighter who turns out to be a goddess of winds

and Laea, the powerhouse of the gang, who can take on a whole other gang on her own, a fistfighter, and younger sister of one of the city police, whose love of fighting is only matched by Rebecca, her best friend and girlfriend, Laea is a goddess of the earth

after the gang members discover their divinity they’re sent by the head goddesses of the main pantheon, the goddess of nature and her younger sisters, the goddess of fire and the goddess of water, to be trained in using their divine abilities and then are sent to prove their worth to the pantheon

the gang are sent on a quest to recruit a goddess of ice into the pantheon, many have been sent but none have succeeded

they get to the temple she lives in(a temple to the greek goddess Athena, because mankind still worships the same gods as in real life) and eventually find out that the reason nobody has succeeded in recruiting her to a pantheon is because she’s been cursed to be unable to leave the temple and thus literally cannot join a pantheon

they help her break the curse and so Ganlina, regal and traditional goddess of ice joins the pantheon, and eventually Laea and Rebecca’s relationship too

(though of course none of the relationship stuff happened in the roleplay, it’s all stuff I added later, after I started to get past the heteronormativity I grew up with)

the gang is then pulled into a war between the pantheon and the goddess of shadows and death(who’s actually, it turns out, not really evil, just so freaking sick of being ostracized for what she’s the goddess of that she decided to turn against everyone and prove them right)

they go on several more quests to help defeat the goddess of death, the only one of which I can actually remember still involved Ganlina feeling pain for the first time in her life because her powers create an impenetrable ice layer over her skin, but even that can’t completely protect against a punch from the god of strength, so she had a moment similar to Legolas in him and Gimli’s drinking competition

this roleplay affected, or set a precedent for, how I approach religion and divinity in my stories, which is to say that generally I don’t

it also added big strong woman, excitable woman, and regal woman to my base characters(though I don’t use them as often as, say, flamboyant man[which might be the base character I use the most often])

and also, again, I tend to gravitate characters with these bases toward/around each other

Third - The Order of Masks

this one I did not come up with the story, a semi-post-apocalyptic superhero story roleplay my brother came up with the premise for

unfortunately all I can remember about the premise is that it’s a group like the Justice League except a little more organized, a little more underground, a little more official, and a little more invested in their apprentices&proteges

also, all of them wear masks, more like masquerade masks than the classic domino mask too

I had several characters throughout it, because I was less confident in my character creating skills and had a tendency to scrap a character because I was just Not Invested in them

the four I scrapped(that I can remember) were named Jay, Swan, Peacock, and Peafowl(these were their hero names, I didn’t give any of them real names)

Jay was literally just a human version of Jayfeather from Warriors, Peacock and Peafowl were insufferably proud and self-centered twins, and Swan was just kinda waay too over powered with no personality to make up for it

the characters I kept were Falcon, Raven, Lion, and Streak

Falcon was one of the main heroes, a strict but kind woman with the power to locate anyone at any time no matter where they are, obviously she had a day job as a bounty hunter, in which she was known as Bird of Prey

Raven was Falcon’s protege, a serious minded, no-nonsense girl with power over wind and the ability to grow wings(or pop working wings into existence on her back might be more accurate)

Lion was somehow Raven’s best friend, despite being a total flirt who couldn’t take anything seriously if his life depended on it, he came from a family of hero musicians, had super-strength and a banjo with a hidden dagger he called his banjagger

Streak was a weird character that somehow lasted against all odds, a blind and deaf girl with power over the movement of molecules who was stronger in hot&dry areas because she was from the desert

Falcon started the base character of the strict but kind mentor woman, Lion and Raven are branch-off bases from the flamboyant man and the intellectual woman, the flirtatious man and the serious woman(bases I tend to pair together - not in relationships, just in general)

Streak helped me learn not to make a character too much

Fourth - Gooz and The Little Black Kitten

I don’t remember much about their story, just that the main characters were Tomb Raider’s children

Gooz and the LBK helped me realize that sometimes the best and most memorable characters are simply the ones that are the most fun, even if nothing about them makes sense

Gooz’s official name is Intelligent And Highly Explosive Cream(or something along those lines, I don’t remember exactly) but he prefers Gooz

he’s an experiment, the kind where you say there’s no possible reason for the scientists to do this but the scientists are like ‘we just want to see if we can’

he is a cream

that has an intelligence and a personality

he communicates telepathically

he causes explosions when he touches anything with over a certain level of force

in the roleplay he got applied to the outsides of a pair of gloves and a pair of boots

that he then somehow had the ability to control

his chosen name is Gooz because that’s how he pronounces ‘goo’, for some reason anytime he tries to ‘say’ a word that ends with a vowel ‘z’ ends up being added in, also ‘s’ is replaced with ‘z’ usually

he’s a bit of a goofball and just really loves people, wants to be treated as an intelligence with wants and likes and feelings

the Little Black Kitten is just that, a little black kitten, small enough to fit in the palm of your hand, who can speak

and boy does she

she is the most dry, snarky, does-not-care-and-literally-just-wants-to-be-left-alone, little thing you will ever meet

instead of growling or hissing when upset she just says, in a completely flat voice, ‘hiss, growl, go away’

she’s like the goth of tiny kittens

but somehow her and Gooz became friends

I think she just liked that she could curl up inside his boot and anyone trying to get her out would risk blowing themself up and then he just kinda grew on her

they started my love for having characters use dry wit, characters who are friendly and innocent(relatively), and the most unlikely of friendships

also, like I said at the beginning of this section, they helped me learn not to take myself too seriously in creating characters and letting them grow into whatever amazingly ridiculous or ridiculously amazing thing they end up growing into

and, of course, they showed me that sometimes the side characters are so much more engaging, enjoyable, and memorable than the main characters

if you have some really old ocs you haven’t thought about in a while you should look back and see how they’ve affected your current ocs and how you write, you might be surprised

#my characters #capybarambles #it's like 3 in the morning I hope this all makes sense #I'm gonna sleep now

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aliwatson117 · 7 years ago

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Kaya Joke announces NDC ambassadorship on periscope

This is a transcript of a periscope when Kaya Jones announced her inclusion on the National Diversity Coalition as the Native American ambassador. "Enjoy" the interview. Love the commentary 8D

0:00 Hey guys... I'm going to wait for all of you to come in and I'm going to turn off my sound off the buzzer so it doesn't keep buzzing. How are you guys doing I'm going to wait for more of you guys to start coming in.

Ahmm. I'm so excited! Because today I get to announce that I'm part of the National Diversity Coalition and I was named uh director, which is A BIG -BIG- DEAL I'm really excited and yeah uh it's an honor and I get to uh be an ambassador for Native American people and uh that's a big deal because my dad is full Native so I'm 50% Native American I know a lot of you may or may not know that um but that's a big deal for me so I just want to make sure I represent you know. My people correctly and all of you out there

[Of course, since then, we all know that her father is actually NOT Apache, nor is she half (50%? Really?) Apache as a result. In fact, except for her father's word, Kaya Jones has never come out to clarify exactly what Apache tribe that she's supposedly from. But given that her biggest (and only, really) platform is 'hundreds' of federally unrecognized tribes, I'm betting her father's alleged Apache tribe is one of them.]

[run on sentence from previous section] -so I'm gonna need your your your advice and your your thoughts and your your help and more importantly you guys are aware - I can see all of you guys coming in heeeyyy - I don't know if you guys are aware of what the National Diversity Coalition is but um we support our president. And we support the administration and his agenda of um you know diversifying communities--

["Diversify: verb/ make or become more diverse or varied." Yes, I agree his agenda is diversifying communities, not unifying them. Huge difference. Definition of words matter.]

[cont] -and bringing together men women children in economic differences and educational differences and racial differences um helping to put together um you know job opportunities, uh faith, keeping family values um... all of the stuff that our president has uh said that he's about - he was on FIRE tonight with his speech I don't know if you guys saw it or not but he was on fire I was so proud. I put the link on my page so please. Please click on it and watch it if you didn't get to see him he did such a good job it just reminded me of why I voted for him how much I care and how much he cares you know when he said that we don't uh we don't worship government you know we worship God I was just like 'yes~' it's amazing to hear that um. We don't hear that enough. We don't hear that enough from people who are in those powerful positions like himself and him being at the top of the power position and he's right he's our president how amazing is that so i'm just so excited and uh thought that Tomi Lairen [she pronounces it like 'lair-en', not 'lawren'. BFF] you know what Tomi Lairen is a good friend actually I don't know if you're talking about something that happened today I don't know but I love Tomi Lairen I think she's amazing and her opinion matters because we need to diversify opinions we can't have just as you know let me take one out [referring to her earbuds] you can't-- let me take the whole thing out--

[unplugs the earbuds completely] you can't --can you still hear me okay? I'm going to wait and see. (laughs) Yes. Okay so you can still hear me and we're good. Um. Yeah. Better now. Okay good. Yeah no you know. We need to diversify when it comes to being conservative

[I'm not sure she really knows what 'diversify' means or if it's just The Word of the Day(tm)]

[cont from previous] -I think it's the biggest problem we have as conservatives we have a lot of um ...a lot of ways of being holier than thou and putting people on these pedestals and like you can't be a conservative and not have a religion. You can't actually there are a lot of conservatives that are still finding their way with religion um there's a lot of conser-conservatives that are you know multiple uh sectors of different religions. Um. So a lot of conservatives that have differences on pro-choice or uh pro-life I mean you know you know where I stand with that I'm pro-life but you know we all have different um. We all have different views and I think that's what's amazing about our country is that we're allowed to have these different views and we shouldn't silence them

[Right. We shouldn't silence different views. Unless we're Native, right? Unless our views aren't praising yours.]

[cont] -and so um we should allow all forms of conservatives to be heard um--

[Oh. This only applies to conservatives? Makes sense. I guess.]

[cont] -because that's how we diversify--

[there's that word again...]

[cont] -that's how we open up discussion that's how we get people um to talk and debate and see what we can do to make some serious changes and to support one another and you know we don't learn from always the good we learn from our mistakes and more importantly, we learn from our differences. If we all have the same opinion all the time how much would we really learn you know that's a big thing for me so I'm really honored today [garbled something 'conservative in Maryland'?] Thank you so much um I see all of your different things coming in ohhh this is great so I'm really honored that uh you know that I was chosen and I just want say thank you to Pastor Daryl Scott uh he's the one that reached out and put this all together and I'm so humbled and honored--

[You'll come to find that she doesn't know the meaning of the word 'humble' either. Watch for the word and its context in what's to come.]

[cont] -you know you always see him on Sean Hannity I mean Hannity, Fox they've been so kind to me I just want to say thank you and uh I can't wait to start working and can't wait to start helping in any which way that I can and I need your help because I need your advice I see your voice, you're gonna help me--

[How long did this 'humble' plea last? 24 hours? Less? 'I need our help, I need your advice'. Lady, we've been giving it since Day One. You won't listen to dozens upon dozens of Natives who have actually given you advice, wisdom and education.]

[cont] -uh know what I need to do what issues I need to bring up and what's important to you especially if you're Native American and you're on a reservation.

[because none of us live in urban spaces (>_>) ]

[cont] I'm going to be meeting with all the different tribal council people I was told that um so--

[HAHAHAHA has she met with a single tribal council? And ALL the different tribal council people? There's over 500 federally recognized tribes. How's that journey going?]

[cont] -but you know what I still need your voice it doesn't matter just who I'm meeting with it also matters the things and issues going on on your reservation that I may not be aware of um because my father grew up on a reservation and uh he was taken off of it uh eventually um from abuse he endured a lot of abuse on the reservation so I understand and I have a lot of ...heavy feelings when it comes to all of that. Um. I understand more than I think people know. And so you're going to get to know a little bit more about me and exactly what I'm about and exactly who my family is and uh I'm also proud that my family is a lot of military too you know so as much as they endured a lot of pain on the reservation they also served their country well and I'm proud of that--

[Okay hold up. THEY endured a lot of pain on the reservation. Who's THEY? What reservation? What is the name of this supposed reservation? She's insinuating here to have known multiple people on her father's side of the family that were in the military, so why can't she be transparent about what supposed reservation this is? I call bullshit that there's even a reservation. Or 'they'. In subsequent references to the military, not just this particular ramble, when referring to veterans, she doesn't reference her family. She merely speaks of feeling close to veterans, especially AFTER doing shows in various military locations.]

[cont] -and uh you know we now need to come up with no excuses for Native American people you know that Native American people need to be heard their voices need to be heard there has there really hasn't been proper representation for them--

[There still isn't in regards to Trump (>_>) Especially when it comes to you, Kaya.]

[cont] -the way that's needed and I think it's time so I'm so honored that I get to be part of that change and I hope I do a really good job and I hope that I don't let any of you guys down--

[Oh you let Natives down big time. Right from the start (^-^)v ]

[cont] -and it's a lot of pressure but I feel humbled and honored and so thank you president Trump and thank you Pastor Scott and let's talk about president Trump's speech can we jump into that right now because I'm so excited ahh he was just on fire tonight and he brought up all the things and all the reasons I even had to take notes like yes you know proud deplorables boom isn't that what it's about we're proud deplorables you know what i mean i'm so excited that he said that because that's another thing that today being announced, being a part of the Native American um ambassador you know like Native American people have had a bad rap. They've gotten a lot of hurtful words and I just think it's so telling that we're called deplorables and yet it's not a bad thing--

[Yes, it is. Racial slurs, stereotypes and demeaning speech have come in droves from your followers on your encouragement. I fail to see how you can claim to be Native and spend the entirety of your current 'ambassadorship' treating us worse than 'deplorables'.]

[cont] -it's not a bad thing for people to put us down because you know what we rise we've risen and we won and that helped us win I think with that comment he's right that what Hillary said uh that really helped us win so at the end of the say thanks Hillary for calling me a deplorable calling us deplorables we are happy deplorables we're deplorables that uh have the House and the Senate and uh the White House too so we're very happy about all those things uh um he also brought up about you know the sanctuary cities and um chain migration and you know just something really random I thought of when I was listening to him let me see if I can prop up my hand because it's like it's hard to hold this up

[None of this whole above segment has anything to do with Native Americans having a 'bad rap'. Instead, you merely centered on yourself and your maga people.]

[cont] --he was right [garbled] you know my mom my mom is not American not a lot of people know that, my mom is Canadian she's Jamaican she's not American she married an American her daughters are American and um my mom only visits for three months at a time she doesn't overstay her welcome. And she could totally be sponsored and totally be a citizen and she doesn't break the rules and so I think it's so odd how you know we come up with all of these things and these reasons and these excuses for individuals and it just I don't why we do that I don't think we should anymore we don't need to we don't need to um my mom follows the rules and if anyone doesn't really kind of and could kind of like 'I don't need to follow the rules' she follows them she goes back to Canada every three months she visits she doesn't stay longer than that maybe the longest she's ever stayed was five months and that's pushing it because I think it's by the sixth month, there's an issue and your passport's flagged and all those things and so my mom follows the rules and you know she's 73 years old and she's an amazing human being and I just think if my mom can follow the rules why can't everybody else follow the rules you know. That's something for me that's a big deal and the sanctuary city thing is a big problem beceause you know as we saw with Kate Steinle

[Unless you're already familiar with this case, none of this makes any sense. There's no background information, no information whatsoever about why this would be particularly important. I would educate about it, but this is her soliloquy.]

[cont] -and and and that case was so wrongfully tried I'm really proud the DOJ is doing something about it but the end of the day you know ...she was murdered. And she's an American citizen and here's someone who's not an American and we're protecting ...illegals more than we're protecting our own American people that pay taxes that ...have a job that contribute to the community and do a great job of being a good citizen and what kind of example are we setting so don't be a good citizen don't pay your taxes don't get a job don't don't uh contribute and then you know and then people support you I mean it's basically the punishment doesn't fit the crime. [/10:21]

[okay, at this point, it's just a whole lot of rambling and nothing about Natives so I skipped to when something 'Native' came back up. There's some cool blaming of those who contributed to Hillary's campaign. 'That 2.2 billion could have you know. Gone to Flint's pipes or hurricane efforts, but no'. Listen if you're up for the aggravation.

In regards to that segment, however, homeless people (including veterans) generally are not always working, are not always paying taxes and don't always have a means of 'contributing'. If they don't contribute to society, does that mean they have your disdain as much as undocumented people? If not, why make such broad generalizations.]

19:07 But yeah, the border's coming I'm excited about that.

[Uh. The border never went anywhere to need to come back. It's still there. I'm sure of it.]

[cont] And also I'm really really honored to you know when I'm talking about all this with the Diversity Coalition it's also really exciting for me because I have a show coming up in North Dakota in Minot, North Dakota and I know a lot of you know that I've had some backlash because I'm Native American--

[Spoiler: She's not Native American. If she were, she would have some semblance of respect for our diverse culture (see what I did there), the wisdom and education imparted to her for months. Kaya Jones claiming to be Native is no different than any other pretendian without genealogical proof or cultural connections. If her father was Apache, I would imagine his people would be ashamed of her for such blatant disrespect.]

[cont] -um so isn't it great that today I was announced as director one of the directors for the National Diversity Coalition and that I'm an ambassador for the Native American people I mean how cool is that--

[So cool that she puts her psuedo culture on and off at will. Also, no, not a great day for us Natives.]

[cont] -so I'm still coming to North Dakota and the show will be on the 22nd and Jason Crabb and myself are going to be singing songs for you guys [/19:47]

[Again, rambling about the North Dakota show. 'We're going to bring Christmas back'. ...It never went anywhere either.]

24:40 And I'm really excited to help the diversity coalition and um do whatever I can to be a good asset and be utilized correctly and any advice that you have, please send them to me. Please educate me on your tribes or your lands that you live on if you're on a reservation and um. Hopefully I won't let you all down and if you're in North Dakota, you gotta come to the show. [/25:09]

[Kaya, Natives have tried for months. You've vilified, muted and blocked us because we're the only ones not mindlessly praising you. As a public figure - especially if you intended to be a Native representative of any kind - you should be open to challenges, constructive criticism and the education you ignore. When you're not, you deserve the ridicule.]

26:33 Keep me posted about any advice that you have for the National Diversity Coalition that I'm now a director and ambassador to the Native American people so thank you so much and god bless.

['Keep me posted'. I laughed when I listened to that. Oh, I have advice. But I'll close here. Please feel free to share your advice, fellow Natives.]

[Total time was 26:45. Any minute errors in transcribing should be limited to 'uh' vs 'um' or missing a repeated word or phrase as she does that from time to time. You know.]

Link for the interview: https://www.pscp.tv/w/1OwGWMAEZDpxQ

#Kaya Jones #Kaya Joke #pretendian #Natives #Native American

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ghozt1ng-blog · 7 years ago

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In the Land of Conspiracies

Trick looked out the window and saw Utah Lake shimmering below as the plane touched down. Dark clouds were pouring from the craggy mountains to the northeast. As they landed Conturbatio seemed to squirm with excitement. Trick guessed that the upcoming investigation probably had his hopes up. After meeting monsters coming through a magical portal, Conturbatio must have been convinced that he would see similarly spectacular things at the end of this new road.

Naomi leaned into Trick and asked him, “I know that this is probably late mentioning this, but Utah has extreme weather changes. Did you pack warmly enough?”

“Things get pretty cold in Virginia,” Trick protested. “I packed well enough for this!”

“We’ll see,” Naomi shrugged.

The plane ride had been boring for the most part. The Sphinx had not given him or Naomi any extra information on the situation as he had with the last case. All he said was that things seem to come to life around the cursed boy and his family. Maybe the lack of information is what made the strange agent act so oddy? Trick guessed not, because Stacy Miles, his partner, was nowhere near as excited. She also looked bored, as well as his mother. It then struck Trick that the Sphinx’s partners both had similar first names. He wondered how often he got them confused.

As they exited the airport and made their way to the car rental station, a biting cold seared into Trick’s flesh. It was so sudden that he didn’t even get goosebumps. He hurried inside to find reprieve, while Naomi shook her head in a bemused way and laughed. Of course she had dressed appropriately enough.

Following him inside she said, “It seems as though your impressive research skills into people do not extend to researching things of actual use. Like even something as simple as the weather.”

“There’s nothing simple about the weather,” Trick snapped. “Everyone knows weathermen have no idea what they’re talking about half the time! Plus the weather is constantly changing! And what was with that jab about my researching people? I recall my skills be of tremendous worth during our last case!”

“Don’t yell in here, Patrick,” his mother scolded.

Trick turned beat red as Naomi chuckled, “And who had to help save your butt from a giant wolf? Just watch, I’m gonna own you on this adventure. Try to keep up Trick.”

“And when did this all become a competition?” Trick just couldn’t figure this girl out.

Naomi didn’t respond, but took out a small notebook and made some tally marks in it. With a satisfied smirk she snapped it shut and replaced it in her bag. Agent Miles was the one taking care of the car as Conturbatio almost danced where he was. To get away from naomi and her weirdness for a minute Trick went over to the tall agent and spoke with him.

“You seem really, and I mean really, excited to be here,” Trick observed.

“I am! Utah is a treasure trove of conspiracies!” The man looked beside himself with glee.

Trick had done a little research (See Naomi! I can do some helpful research!) into Utah and its high Mormon population. The religion was an odd one, being very active all over the world, but had little record of being politically involved. The people were all considered to be really nice, but many suspected that they kept dark secrets. A lot of people posted videos “exposing” the Mormons. The Mormons in turn posted a mountain of musical videos and memes that made no sense to him. It was like they were their own culture altogether.

“Yeah, they are really weird, from what I’ve gathered. People say they have a lot of secrets and that they can be super judgmental with a facade of sincerity.”

The Sphinx held up his hands and said, “Most of the public gets wrapped up in political and social issues surrounding the Mormons that are of very little consequence. Honestly, the Mormons are actually right on most of their stances on just about every issue, and that is really the give away to the bigger things I’m talking about. How does a small religious organization get so many things about the human condition and history right? Most people do not even know their fascinating history! Did you know that the Mormons were already looking to the stars for more life before anyone else? Their doctrine has not changed since its inception, even though people argue that it has, but it really hasn’t. In fact, their knowledge, dating back to the 1830s, supports the greatest scientific, engineering, psychological, sociological, and historical problems of the 20th century and in recent times!

“They claim their founder had a direct connection, called revelation, with God, and through that the mysteries of the universe were made known to him. They display this knowledge all over in their religion, like a treasure hunt beckoning others to come to them. Take for instance their fabled Salt Lake Temple! It-”

“Agent Conturbatio, you should know better than to revive your silly suspicions of the Mormons and their connection to some alien life forms,” Agent Brown said hotly. “Agents Miller and Sanchez in border security are both Mormon and they have answered your questions plenty of times. Everything they have told you does not support your theory. And it is grating on my nerves! My son doesn’t need to hear it!”

“But Susan! We are in the land of the grand conspiracies and withholding of knowledge right now! I want to drop by each temple we can and study it! They hold important clues! Miller and Sanchez are good guys, but they are holding back what they know. I can see it in their eyes. I have done enough interrogations!”

“You’re beginning to rave,” Susan retorted shaking her head. “Respect their privacy. The Mormons are free with their information, but things they consider sacred they will not talk about with people outside of the faith. It is a sign of their devotion and respect to their god. I would hope that an enlightened man such as yourself could respect that.”

Trick felt really embarrassed to get caught in the middle of this.

“Yes. yes of course,” Conturbatio said, turning aside. As Susan turned back to Miles and her paperwork, he whispered to Trick, “But seriously, they took all of the good stuff about the knowledge with them when they were driven from Ohio, Missouri, and Illinois by mobs and by the government. I think that they wielded some greater power in their earlier days, because the violence that both citizens and the government brought against them was incredible and unjustifiable, unless there was something else going on.

“Did you know that Missouri’s Lieutenant Governor, then later Governor, William Boggs issued an execution order against the Mormons that persisted for over a hundred years? Such an order is unprecedented in U.S. history and there is so much about it we don’t know! Not even other hated racial and religious groups received such extreme measures. It makes me wonder what the Mormons have that scared people so much. What knowledge could they still be keeping from us? What-”

“Sphinx, you’re rambling,” Trick said. “People will attack what they don’t understand. I think it is clear that these people in Utah are odd, but I highly doubt that this is a land of conspiracies. I don’t think that we’ll find what you are looking for. I don’t think either that this case will be as big as the last one. I’m sorry, but I had to speak my mind.”

The Sphinx patted him on the shoulder and said brusquely, “Yes, I’m sorry.I can tend to get carried away. And your mother is right, the Mormons are very good people. I just… There’s so much about the unknown to be discovered, and there is a lot that our government keeps back from us, even from those who work to protect it. And people have a right to knowledge that will make them safer and make their lives more beneficial… As for this case, I’m not sure what we will come across. It could be, or it might not be. But, there is something going that we need to investigate, especially if it saves a few innocent lives, don’t you think?”

Trick nodded in agreement.

“Don’t look so glum, Patrick. I’ll try not to get carried, and try to enjoy the investigation! It’s not everyday that you teens get to help with not one but two federal cases!”

Once Agent Miles received the keys and they went to the van the agents had rented, Trick noticed something.

“I swear it’s gotten thirty degrees warmer!”

“It has,” Naomi said smugly. “She shed her heavier coat and showed that she had lighter one underneath. “Utah is infamous for its strange weather. You’ll be fine now, but wait until it starts snowing.”

Trick looked at the darkening clouds and grumbled to himself that she was probably right. The agents all looked as comfortable as ever in their east coast trench coats and suits. He might have to dip into his meager funds for a better jacket soon. Being grounded meant that his financial support had also been cut for the most part.

They traveled the short distance from the airport to the campus of Brigham Young University, and then they turned south down a pleasant street with narrow houses. Naomi commented how much she appreciated the grid design of the streets and the wonderful spacing and architecture of the homes. Trick thought it all looked a little too cookie cutter for his taste.

They soon reached their destination and the agents led the way to the door. After they knocked, the door was quickly opened and Trick’s senses were assailed by the voice of a boy whom he would long to slug from that moment on.

#xfiles fanfic #sphinx #mormons #mysteries of the q files #layovers suck #conspiracy theories #My writing

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unholyoffspringofcereal · 8 years ago

Text

Gravity of Souls

So today I was sitting in physics, listening to the last review we would get before the AP exam in about two hours, and Dr. Castor’s just going on, got his little review out on the smartboard, doing his best. Love that guy, great teacher. Anyway, we get to about the third chapter and my brain decides you know what? Let’s think about some things.

There is an attraction between all things. But nobody knows why! A simple statement, to be sure, and one I’d heard probably thirty times in the last few months. The force of gravity is simple, a very tiny constant G directly related to the masses of the two objects you want to measure, and inversely related to the square of the distance. G(Mm)/(d*d). And yet. I just kinda sunk into that little room in my head like, what?

So I’m off in my head like, imagining the universe, the planets pulling each other together (never apart), and then another random thought just kinda wandered by, because we had been talking about electrons, too. The force of electricity is like that of gravity in almost every way, except that gravity cannot repel, only attract. Mass cannot be negative, right? According to Gabe, who has been rambling about negative mass for the last six weeks, not quite.

He brought it up as a joke because Doc Castor is really cool and isn’t a grouch, all like, yeah sure do whatever, and I feel bad because we take advantage of that at times, but anyway. The point. Some random neuron connection in my brain was like, FIRE, and the rest were like AAHHHH, and then I was thinking about souls. What are souls? I mean, people have had the concept of souls for as long as humanity has existed probably. That question of why are we different from the beast. Science tells us its all those little squishy gray parts up in our heads, lightning blasting chunks of my beef soup left and right nanometers at a time, eventually creating that thing we call personality. Religion tells us it is some gift from some almighty god, that it is the makeup of our sins and impulses. Logic tells me it’s the ability to reason. Nobody knows who’s right, and I make no claims to veracity.

But sitting there, at the worst possible time to be thinking about something that wasn’t immediately helpful to academics (isn’t it always?), a half-formed thought drifted through, written across a tiny piece of paper. Here then gone, it, I, we asked if souls could be made of negative mass. Now, before I go any further let me elaborate; that wasn’t the first thought. There are many many things in the world that we, as humans, lack the ability to perceive. For instance, our human ears are only built to hear from around 50 to 20000 Hz. Cats can hear much higher, as can dogs. Whales go lower. I had a conversation at lunch the other day about wanting to be a shrimp, because their tiny little eyes catch something like eighteen more colors than ours. I don’t know if that’s primaries or just shades of green, but that’s impressive. There’s a whole light wave spectrum out there we wouldn’t know existed if not for science.

On another small tangent, there were glasses created to allow colorblind people to unravel the veil holding the colors at bay and paint the world bright. If we tried to do that with shrimp, our eyes would be like, no, that’s just blue. Stop that. Do you see where I’m going with this? What if the idea of souls isn’t actually some misguided attempt of humanity to make itself greater than it is, rather something we lack the senses to perceive?

This thought came from my best friend, a people genius. I will readily admit that I wind people around my little finger. I can spend a few minutes around someone and know what makes them tick, grab, and twist on that to make them do what I want. Y’know, within reason. Usually that’s just to stand around and listen to me jabber, like I’m doing to you guys. But I digress. A people genius. I don’t know what it is, maybe a bit too much acid or weed or something, but she has this sixth sense when it comes to people and she can just know things about them. Specific things? No, she can’t meet you and know you have an intense love of beef jerky, you’d have to tell her, but she gets impressions of shit like I can barely explain. She’s friends with everyone because she can’t bear to show she doesn’t like anyone and she likes to have people around her, so she smiles and laughs and if you hadn’t heard her speak the words yourself you’d never know.

But anyway, these ‘feelings’ she gets from people are scary-accurate. I have a friend, slightly more than kind of an asshole but a good friend. From a stable background, parents at least well off, if working class it seems, he’s the picture perfect american boy. Dark hair, blue-eyed whip-smart, friendly with everybody. Polite and respectful to the teachers, just enough snark to his friends to be normal, one of the few people I consider a close friend. She basically went off on him in the hallway, words into seeds of strangle vines, growing wrapping around his throat and a voice like a scalpel, so sharp you don’t feel it at first but then god it burns, surgically placed to do the most damage. From a passerby’s point of view it wasn’t much, just her being kinda snippy because he barely reacted to her, but to anyone who had ever heard her before it was a mauling.

She confided in me later she had one of the worst feelings she had ever felt in her life from him, and I can’t blame her. As much as I love the guy, he’s at least slightly unhinged and away from reality at the best of times. That week, I’m pretty sure the school barely survived a mass shooting, and only that because it was too tame for him, not enough pain. “Mother always taught me to share, and if I took that the wrong way well it couldn’t be helped, could it?” Not him, but I think it describes what I was trying to say pretty well.

Anyway, the point of that was it’s like she has an extra sense to feel people, so why couldn’t there be a way to sense the soul? I think people may even already be capable of it, even if they don’t understand it. That is to say, it’s the parts and pieces of your brain, those primitive, primeval that tell us to run away when faced with danger, that tell us yes, reproduce with that person, become a gibbering wreck in their very presence because that’s just a great idea, those bits. There’s actually a debate in psychology over that, if it’s the brain that runs the human body by sheer need and instinct, or if the human consciousness, the comparatively very small piece of us that we bestow with our own name, our everyday life, the one who sat and typed this thing you’re reading (I think).

Anyway, what I was saying was that people already act in strange and inexplicable ways, for seemingly no reason. You see it the most in kids. Kids notice things, whether because they haven’t been trained to ignore that stuff because it’s etiquette, don’cha know, or they have less in their memory banks and so rely more on the ancient parts of themselves, the beast that clawed its way through the depths of the primordial muck of the universe, and so they see things. Simply put, our brains analyze huge amounts of information at all times, and we learn to block it out from childhood because it’s too much and it hurts. (On a side note, I’ve noticed the smartest people are the ones who pay the most attention to the small details, the ones who kept trying to remember everything at a glance and built it up little by little, inch by inch, devoted themselves to it above all else, because they had a burning need and they couldn’t do it without. The hardest ones to catch relaxed are the ones that never relax, as obvious as that sounds.)

So when your brain is sifting through all that information, it encounters things that it knows, things written deep into the genetic bones, the movement of predators, the eyes of the helpless, the bright smile pasted on top of the bloody wound, and sometimes it’s nothing more than a half-formed thought, barely paid attention to because you’re busy, or a strange reaction to a smiling face (KILLER MURDERER DEFILER OF BONES KIN SLAYER WRONG BAD BAD WRONG WRONGWRONGWRONGWRONGWRONG-).

What if part of that was the soul? Something our brain couldn’t identify into right/wrong yes/no red/blue/green but still something anyway that couldn’t be quantified but was still there? An instinct, from a bygone era, created for whatever reason?

Anyway, not all of this makes total sense, or even reliable physical (hey, physics, just realized that) sense, but it was an idea. My truth, my belief, my adamant pillar holding up the sky, my religion of thought. I know I talked way too much to convey such a simple concept, and that I danced around everything until the end, but I wanted to explain why, the evidence, the intensity of the emotion behind all of these stringed together concepts so that anyone reading it wouldn’t just think I was blowing smoke up out of my ass trying to be #deep. Anyway.

Tl;dr? Souls are cool. So are brains. Go read it, you might enjoy it more than you think.

#stuff #brains #physics #souls

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