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killthe-illusionarydreams · 4 years

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Ashes To Ashes

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Reader

Request: ‘Please could you write a Fred Weasley imagine where you’re inside the burrow when Bellatrix sets it on fire and Fred runs in to get you out?? Thank you, I’m really loving you writing!’ For anonymous

Ps- i havent read the books or seen the movies in a while so I kinda went w the time it was fleur & bills wedding & intergrated it w that, sorry if its not what u wanted but I did write Bellatrix’s attack in x

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Today was the big day. For today was the the day where Fleur & Bill were finally to be wed. For their celebration to erase war from anyones thoughts, today they were just two kids in love, not undercover Order Workers. Today they were simply girl & boy.

“Oi Y/N hurry up, Fleur’s asking for you” Ginny shouts practically breathless as she runs past your room, trying to find Hermione for the bride.

You pick up the gorgeous bouqet that earlier today you picked up from the florist for the woman and made your way downstairs into the living room. As you take a closer look, you notice something is off. Fleur was standing rigidly still, looking in the mirror unblinking.

“Fleur, darling, are you alright?”

The woman remained silent, Y/N had no idea what to do, she’d never seen her friend so paniced, so immobile. Ever since Y/N’s sixth year (after the Triwizard Tournament) the two kept in contact, maintaining a solid friendship with the other, who wouldve known that years later Fleur would join the family that you had already been apart of.

“Its okay to be nervous.” You sit beside the Frenchwoman “Just talk through it” grabbing her hand you pull her down to sit beside you.

“It’z all so scary Y/N. I love Bill, I really do, but what if he realises he doesnt feel the same about me and leaves me there?” She faces you, eyes glossed over

That caused you to frowm slightly “Bill loves you more than he loves life itself Fleaur, everybody knows that he’d do anything for you just to see you happy- not many can say that they have a person like that.” You smile lightly, thinking about your person. “You constantly say how much you love him, so if you stil feel that for him, theres no need to be scared of getting married-These are the normal pre wedding doubts, none of them are true. Besides, I’m sure if Bill tried to run away from such a gorgeous and talented person as you, Molly would raise havoc and go to the ends of the earth to get him back.”

Fleur looks up at you, smiling, but with stray tears going down her face “Thank you Y/N” she throws herself forward and hugs you “It’s just a big step & I’ve been so emotional lately because of-“ she hesitates

A look of realisation dawns on you and you beam, hugging her once more but tighter “You’re joking? Congratulations!” You give her a peck on the cheek “Does Bill know?” You queried as she shook her head

“Non, I only confirmed it a week ago. Please dont tell anyone Y/N.” She looks at you with pleading eyes and you vigorously nod

“Of course. I wont say a thing, this is your secret. But how about we start getting ready for your wedding hmm.”

As Y/N started to do Fleurs makeup, Hermione rushed in with the wedding dress that her and Molly had been making final adjustments to, Ginny was running around frantically trying to get all the guests in the right places and seats. Once commisioning your help to shout at a group of loiterers to leave the premises because they wouldnt listen to the red head girl. All in all, after many hours, Fleaur was ready.

“You look gorgeous.” Gabrielle beamed at her sister

“Stunning.”

“Ethereal.”

“I might just steal you from Bill” you wink and cause her to laugh and blow you a kiss “I’ll go get everyone ready, you still have plenty of time to relax.” Handing Gabrielle the bouqet, you rush out of the room, which proved to be quite difficult in heels. But bearing through the pain, you get outside and see rows and rows of the fragile golden chairs set on either side of the long purple carpet. The supporting poles to the gazeebo top were entwined with gorgeous white and gold flowers. As you look to where there was supposed to be an enormous bunch of balloons, you frown to see it bare.

“George!” You shout getting his attention “Wheres Fred? You were supposed to the balloons up ages-“ you feel strong arms pick you up and spin you around, making you let out a shriek of surprise, thankfully not loud enough to get the attention of the others

“I’m here my love, disposable at your command.” He purrs into your ear, sending chills down your spine

“Put me down asshole” you laugh and turn to face him, before you could manage to say anything you were taken aback at how he looked. “You got a haircut.” You stated plainly and ran a hand through his hair as he put his arms around your waist.

“Correction, George cut my hair when I wasnt paying attention so ‘people would be able to tell the difference between us’” he wrinkled his nose

You stare at him, dumbstruck “As if the hole on the side of his head wasnt enough.” Fred laughs and says thats what he said “I like it, it suits you.”

Fred grins and kisses you, “Lets face it Y/N you like anything when its to do with me.”

You roll your eyes and hum in agreement “Thats because I love you Fred. But I will seriously consider breaking up with you if you dont get the balloons up as you promised.”

Fred gives you a small peck & jumps back from you “I’m on it!” and runs over towards his brother to finally do what he had to. You smile at him, reminiscing at how you managed to fall in love with such an idiotic man, yet you could never wish for more. Fred Weasley was truly perfect.

Shaking your head you turn back to the guests that were not where they were supposed to be before shouting “Get to your seats and away from the food please! Thats for after the ceremony!” You swat their hands before adding “If you dont know where youre supposed to be, go to Hermione and Molly, they will tell you.” You motion to the pair before walking around to make last minute adjustments.

The wedding ceremony went beautifully, Fleur was walked down with her bridesmaids: Gabrielle & Ginny. When in sight, she rendered everyone breathless, she was ethereal, the most gorgeous a person could possibly look. Molly teared up from the get go at the sight of her eldest marrying, many more joined in when they said their vows. You could not believe that the day of your friends wedding had finally arrived. Throughout the entire sitting down portion of the ceremony, Fred was holding your hand and rubbing circles on it, an assurance that through everything you went through- you were still together- still alive.

The loud music was ringing through the field, dancing bodies surrounded you, but you paid them no mind, your main focus on Fred.

“Did I tell you how gorgeous you look Y/N?”

You laugh lightly as you sway to the beat “No, I must’ve missed it the other ten times you said it”

“Well you do, absolutely bewitching, are you sure you didnt use a love poition on me? I never knew feeling this was possible.” He jokes as he spins you

“Must be my natural charm and charisma that got you so captured Fred.”

“Must be.” He mutters softly looking into your eyes. Fred was completely besotted by you, more than anyone had ever seen him be, he just knew that Y/N was perfect. The way that she’d light up any room she walked in, the way that she’d never back down from a challenge, and just simply how she made him feel. Dear Merlin he loved the girl. “After this do you fancy going away for a bit?”

You look at him sceptically “Planning out your murderous fantasies are we?”

He laughs and shakes his head “You’re impossible. No, since the shops closed I thought we could go away somewhere before everything with the war kicks off, I want as much time with you as I can get.”

“Oh” you forgot that the wizarding world was on the brink of war “Yeah. Yeah, I’d like that. But if you sneak George along i swear to Merlin I will live through my murderous fantasy & kill the pair of you.”

Fred chuckles again, before nodding “Promise, no George. I think he got an eyefull when he barged into our room without knocking.”

“Serves him right.” You mumble “I told him on multiple occasions to knock.”

The rest of the song died down and you stayed in Freds arms for a moment, before he was being wisked away to dance with Aunt Muriel, he held an awfully sour look as you giggled when she hounded on him to straighten his back, then saying that he was too tall.

“I’m a bit cold, I’ll go get a jacket then I’ll be right back” Y/N kissed his cheek & left to get back inside the burrow. Thinking nothing of it, she poured herself another drink, smiling to herself at how Fred would have to have another dance with Muriel. What an awful woman.

Unbeknown to the girl, a silver patronus intruded on the celebration to announce grave news. “The Ministary has fallen. The Minister of magic is dead. They are coming. They are coming.” Everyone scrabled to find their loved ones, to make sure that they were safe, but before Fred even had the chance to look for Y/N, everything burst into havoc. The gazeebo was now engulfed in flames, Death Eaters showing up everywhere to curse them.

“Y/N!” Fred shouted, frantically looking around for the girl “Y/N!”

He turned around and was greeted by a paniced Mr Weasley “Theres not much time Fred, I dont know where she is, you need to get to safety and leave. Now!”

Fred ignored his fathers protests and ran, dodging various spells being shot from either side. He had to find you, he had to know you were safe.

An abrupt crash jolts you back into reality, you get up to run and go outside but with a sudden ‘whoosh’ and black smoke- two Death Eaters appear infront of you.

“Shit.” You mumble & grab your wand, quickly dodging their spells you manage to knock one out & try to deal with the other. “You’re quite persistant-“ blue sparks shoot from your wand, the figure ran upstairs & you follow.

“And you’re associated with mud-blood scum!” A flash of green emerged from their wand that narrowly missed you, you grin

“You missed.” You kick a chair at the figure, momentarily distracting them to cast a spell “Stupefy! Petrificus totalus!” As the figure was knocked out & bound together, you walk over and spit out “Get a life, prick” snapping their wand in two.

In the middle of your fight, you had not noticed that the commotion outside had turned to an arsonists playground. looking through the window you call for Fred, hearing no response your heart stops, you leave the room & try to get down the stairs but now they were already engulfed by flames.

“Oh shit” you panic and shoot spells at it to stop the fire from spreading, but to no avail, it only got worse. Smoke was now clouding your vision, realising that if you were not to jump down you’d perish in this fire. Letting out a short breath, you hype yourself up for the leap of your life “You can do it Y/N. Come on” violetly coughing, you jump. Unfortunately landing a fair few stairs too high. Unbearable pain shoots up through your leg & you cry out in pain.

Sinking to the floor you couldnt even move, the pain in your arm and leg restricting you. This was it, this would be how you die. All alone, with no one to help you, no one to save you. In a burning house. Yet the only thought racing through your mind was ‘Is Fred safe’. Thankfully most of the fire was behind you, the staircase had completely gone up in flames however, the roof was begining to crumble down. A plank toppled down, narrowly missing you, but making the room next to you catch on fire.

As you were losing conciousness you hear a strained yell “Y/N!” You try to respond, but all that came out was a series of violent coughs “Y/N im coming, hang on!” You couldn’t see what was happening, i dont know if it was the thick cloud of smoke or the fact that you were breathing most of it in, but your vision blurred.

A faint figure emerged, breathless, trying to get through the flames & to you fast enough “Hey Y/N ive got you, im here.” You felt yourself being picked up & your body fell like a ragdoll. “Oh merlin dont die on me Y/N.” Was the last thing you heard before passing out.

The abrupt light and noise woke you up, yet you were unable to open your eyes, they were far too heavy for the little energy you had. Were you dead? Is this what death felt like?

“Stop pacing Fred, she’ll be fine.” You heard a voice say, however, unable to distinguish who it belonged to “shes a strong girl, the nurses said so.”

“Yeah they also said she’d wake up yesterday, so my apologies if I dont believe what they have to say.” He snapped

Fred. Oh yes, Fred. He came into the building to save you didnt he? So that answered your question of being dead. You were very much alive, but dear Merlin you were in unbearable pain.

“She’ll be up and about soon though? Her body was exhausted thats why shes sleeping so long right?” He continued, sounding unsure. Well if this is how they reacted to you passing out you wouldn’t want to know how theyd react if you died.

“And id appreciate it if I could sleep some more.” You croak out as you let your eyes open. Coming to face the whole clan of distressed red heads, Harry, Hermione & Fleur.

Fred snaps to face you and a look of relief washes over his features “Y/N” he whispers and rushes to your side hugging you “You’re okay. You’re alive. Thank Merlin.”

You try to chuckle, which abruptly turns into a wheze “I’m okay yeah, in a lot of pain but I’m fine.” Fred retreats from you, an apologetic look on his face.

“Come on kids lets give them some space.” Molly ushers everyone out of the room “I’m glad you’re okay Y/N” she sends you a smile and leaves the room for you and Fred to be alone.

Moments pass with Fred just looking at you with glassy eyes before he abruptly let out “You bloody scared me half to death!”

You motion for him to help you sit up “Oh I do apologise that me nearly burning in a fire scared you. I wasnt very happy about it either.”

Fred looks at you speachless, confused at how you can joke about it so soon. He remains quiet before letting out a big sigh and hanging his head into his lap “I thought I lost you.” He mumbles, barely loud enough for you to hear

“Hey, look at me.” You say and put his face into your left hand with the little energy you have “I’m okay, I’m alive. And so are you” he smiles faintly before you continue “Obviously as gorgeous as ever, so nothing irreversible happened.”

He laughs “Obviously.”

While in the room Fred filled you in on what happened, that after the Death Eaters showed up & they fought them off- Bellatrix Lestrange set fire to the burrow & he ran in to get you out. He told you that you passed out & that you had to be taken to St Mungos to treat your broken leg and the burn on your arm.

“The nurses said you were lucky to get out alive Y/N” he said lowly, not being able to bear the thought of your death.

“Im alive because of you Fred. Thank you.” You offer a weak smile “There were two Death Eaters in the house when it burned up-“

“Thats not on your concious to bear, Its on Bellatrix Lestrange.”

You nod, in all honesty you didnt feel bad that they perished in the fire- their downfall was their own undoing. But what was on your mind was the fire burn “When I’m better do you recon I’ll l have a cool badass scar?”

Fred shakes his head as he holds your hand, of course thats what Y/N is thinking about “‘course you will, It’ll become part of badass backstory.”

“Good” you mumble and close your eyes. After a long silence you relax back into your pillow, the sleeping draft & skelly-grow hitting you like a brick. You begin to mumble incoherent sentences

“Hey Freddie?”

He looks at your peaceful face, all calm against the pillow and responds “Yes my love?”

After a little pause of small mumbles, you ask “When I’m better, can we leave for our trip?”

“Whatever you want Y/N.” He smiles lightly & watches you drift off to sleep, hoping that ‘better’ would come along faster.

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Ahh okay hi! Omg this took so long to write, again sorry its not the actual bellatrix fire story, i jus forgot how it happened & when I remembered I wrote too much of it. <33

#slytherin #harry potter #hogwarts #hufflepuff #gryffindor #ravenclaw #james potter #remus lupin #sirius black #draco malfoy #fred weasley x slytherin #fred weasley imagines #fred weasley imagine #fred weasley #fred and george #fred weasley x slytherin!reader #hermione granger #ron weasley

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tinysutton · 4 years

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A Trip Home || Sutton Bonavitz Self Para #003

When Papa emailed Sutton a ticket back to New York, they were not looking forward to going. But they knew they had no choice but to go. On the plane ride back to New York, all they could think about was Leo and if he was okay when they were worrying about why Papa only wanted to see them. Well, it seemed a little obvious to Sutton why it was only them coming back and not Brownwynn as well. But they thought that that had all been taken care of. And usually Wynnie was part of it. After all, everything that happened with one twin usually involved the other. Flying without their twin by their side was strange. No inside jokes or games to play with their other half. No shoulder to sleep on it anybody to hold on to during turbulence.

The last hour of the plane ride they were convinced that this was the end. The intricate web of lies that Papa had crafted over a year ago had finally collapsed and they were going to have to face the music. Or worse, Eliza didn’t want Papa living the lie anymore and convinced him to give it up. It didn’t seem to be the first time she had convinced Papa of something that wasn’t in the best interest of his family or children. After all, it was because of Eliza—the one person Sutton had trusted, since she was the woman that raised them—who had told Papa that she didn’t want the twins living with them once the new baby had been born.

Landing at JFK Airport, Sutton was dreading seeing their father and step mother. They took their time wandering through the airport to baggage claim. But sure enough, it wasn’t their parents waiting for them. The only person who stood at the baggage claim for them was a sharply dressed chauffeur holding a sign with Sutton Bonavitz printed across in boring black letters. With a sigh, they dragged their feet over to the man, dropping their bags at his feet, more than prepared to act like the spoiled brat he no doubt already thought them to be. They barely waited for him to pick up their bags before heading for the exit of the airport, ready to be done with this trip already.

For the most part, the trip was what Sutton expected. Lectures from Papa about what had happened last September. What the new arrangement was. What lie they needed to uphold. The reminder that they weren’t to tell anybody the truth. He told them that so many times, as if they really thought about telling somebody the truth that they were keeping hidden. Only Fane and Win knew some of the truth and that was because of Mama. While the lecture went on, Sutton wondered if Papa was going to give this new information to anybody else in the family or if it really did only pertain to them. After all, not even their three older siblings knew the real truth.

These lectures easily could have been done over the phone. Seeing as Papa was at the office most of the visit and Eliza seemed to want to keep the child away from Sutton at all costs, they were alone in the mansion for most of the week. So they did what any sixteen year old would do. They snooped. Through everything they could get their hands on.

In the attic they found trunks of all the things they and their siblings had done over the years. Accomplishments and achievements. Boxes inside with lost baby teeth and baggies with their first haircut inside. Baby books with all kinds of pictures. First outfits and other special outfits. Suttons first competition swimsuit. Yuriy’s first football. Vira’s first set of ballet slippers. For a few moments, Sutton’s heart swelled with a feeling of love, thinking that at least at one point Mama and Papa cared. Until they saw that the handwritting on the keep sakes varied from trunk to trunk. It took them a moment to realize that everything in their own truck and Brownwynn’s was labeled in a curly script that looked vary familiar. All of these trucks were put together by their nannies. After that they left the attic, realizing that their parents never truly cared about them.

In their old bedroom they found toys they had forgotten about but none of them worked anymore. Practically everything had been emptied out of their older sibling’s rooms when they all moved out on their own. Although they found Dariya’s secret food hiding place behind a trap door in her closet, empty snack wrappers and unhealthy junk food still tucked away.

Knowing that Papa’s office might hold some juicy secrets, they left it for last, slowly taking their time sifting through everything. Recipts from his affair with Eliza, vacations with the nanny he had written off as business trips to the letter she had written him with the first sonogram of the child. It was heartbreaking to see that Papa cared more about the affair he had with the nanny than he seemed to care about his own children. The more they sifted through things, the more stuff the found.

The most interesting file they found was from an affair Papa had with a woman named Alice. Pictures of a beautiful woman with flowing brown hair were tucked away in the file. Her covered strategically by bubbles in a bathtub at a fancy hotel, on the beach with the sun beaming down on her, making her look like an angel. It was clear where Sutton got their obsession of photography from. But just as quickly as the affair seemed to start, it ended. Maybe it was a one time thing they thought as they sifted through documentation of hospital visits in the same file. Papa had been sending this Alice woman money. Scandalous. Then they stumbled across the new photograph of a new born boy on a scale in the hospital, crying loudly. The name of the boy was written on the top of the page. Elliot.

At that monent, Sutton became even more invested. They had a half brother?! Why didn’t Papa fight for him like he did for the child? When they came across a copy of his birth certificate a couple pages later, they saw why. The child’s birthday was only a few months before Sutton and Brownynn’s. Carefully, they read over the birth certificate. The name listed under father wasnt Papa’s name. It was Nathaniel Mills. A strange sensation filled Sutton as they read and reread the name of the child that was Papa’s bastard son. Elliot Mills. It couldn’t be. But the more they flipped through the thick folder the more it became obvious that it was. Hospital bills for eye surgeries and copies of doctors reports as the boy slowy went blind. Eventually they found a picture of Elliot on one of his birthdays, seemingly requested by their father. Even without the sunglasses, Sutton recognized their friend. This was the first time that they ever got a look at his eyes. Those were without a doubt Papa’s eyes.

Once they finished reading through the thick folder, they went over to Papa’s scanner and made copies of every single thing in the manilla folder. There was no way anybody would believe them if they didn’t have proof. Tucking their copied file deep into their suitcase, they thought of what they were supposed to do as they packed up to fly back to New Zealand. Eliot had the right to know that the man he called dad shared no genetics with him. Right? They had to tell him. But how were they supposed to? They had heard the rumors that Elliot’s mom had died the year before. Which meant all the poor boy had was the man he thought was his father. It would shake his entire world if he knew that his dad wasn’t his dad. But wouldn’t it be wrong for them not to tell him?

On the plane ride back, they flipped through the folder again. Papa really had been taking care of Elliot for years without anybody’s knowledge. Hospitals stays and doctors visits. For both Elliot and Alice from the looks of it. Child support checks with far more money than needed to be sent. Even receipts for the Luxor tuition. How Papa had manage to keep this under wraps for so long was impressive. But also completely messed up. Especially when everything seemed to stop abruptly with a large payment for a hospital stay for Alice and an anonymous check sent to The Mills Family.

When the plane landed in New Zealand, Sutton still hadn’t come up with a plan of what to do. All they had decided was they needed to talk to their twin. It was killing them not to tell anybody what they knew. Maybe their twin sister would have an idea of what to do. If it was even right to tell Elliot the truth.

#para: self #a trip home #surprisingly no trigger warnings #but DRAMA #this is what Sutton did while they were gone

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nintxndos · 5 years

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an nsfw ask meme (hide ur eyes kiddos)

I was looking through my blog and saw I answered this ask meme back in 2016 and the answers are preeetttyyyy different so I thought i would give it a go again

1. Are you a virgin? nope havent been for a hot minute now

2. Does anyone besides you know your bra/penis size? Yes ive mentioned it to my bff a few times lmfao

3. Do you know anyone who has any STDs? Yeah my fucking dad (actually it may have been an sti but still)

4. Were you married when you first lost your virginity? nope lmfao

5. Do you swear under celibacy? nah man

6. When did you first lose your virginity? If you haven't, when would you like to? ugh back in 2016 not a good time tbh

7. Have you ever gotten tricked into aphrodisiacs or alcohol for sex? nope

8. Have you walked in on someone masturbating/having sex? Yeah my parents when I was 5 amd I still remember it vividly

9. Have you ever seen someone masturbate or have sex with their permission? yes I quite enjoy it tbh

10. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex? the couch in my boyfriends parents house when everyone was home

11. If you had to chose one, would you have outdoor sex or car sex? car sex bc I dont want grass in my asshole

12. When was the age you first masturbated? Whether you knew it or not? probably 14 or 15

13. Have you ever helped someone "finish"? yes I really love it too

14. Have you ever had an erection in the past month? (clitorial counts, too) I dont know?

15. When was the last time you have had an erection? (clitorial counts, too) didnt know this was a thing tbh lmfao

16. Have you ever had an erection and someone noticed? gonna take a guess and say no

17. What is your method of masturbation? (ie. toys, clitorial, prostate) clitoral

18. What is your bra/penis size? 38DD

19. Has anyone seen your private parts other than yourself or a family member? yes

20. What is the strangest thing you have ever put up your vagina/anus? a boys dick ayyy

21. Do you like rough sex or intimate sex better? rough sex gets me fucked UP (though intimate is nice too)

22. When was the last time you masturbated? uhhh 2 days ago maybe?

23. When was the last time you had sex? god two weeks ago and im dying i swear

24. When was the last time you watched porn? a few days ago maybe

25. Have you ever bought a sex toy? If so, which one did you buy last? First sex toy? If not, which one do you plan on buying when you do? yes i have y first was a little blue bullet and the most recent is a vibrating dildo

26. Guys: Circumsized? not male

27. Which not-genital part of your body do you like being touched? thighs and neck fuckkk

28. Which genital part of your body do you like being touched? the clit baby!!

29. Girls: Are you able to achieve orgasm just through breast stimulation? nope though wow good for the ladies who can

30. What color/type of underwear are you wearing? blue panties and a floral bra

31. Have you ever sent someone a picture or video of you in the nude? Did it include sexual actions? absolutely

32. Have you ever posted a picture of image of you in the nude on a website? Did it include sexual actions? nope

33. Have you ever anonymously sent/posted a picture or video of yourself in the nude? Did it include sexual actions? nope

34. Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr? nope

35. When was the last time you have had a wet dream? maybe a week or so ago?

36. Which wet dream was your favorite? not sharing lmfao

37. Is there a friend you would willingly have sex with? well im currently dating my best friend of 7/8 years

38. Is there a celebrity/character you would willingly have sex with? yes

39. Have you ever masturbated with someone? yeah

40. Have you ever took a shower with someone that is not a family member? no :'----( I dont even wanna fuck in the shower I just want my back washed

41. Favorite sexual position? If you are a virgin, which position interests you? honestly i love missionary

42. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed? Fuck yes

43. Are you into any BDSM? god yeah

44. Have you ever wanted to have sex with someone but knew you couldnt for any reason? Why? yes because we live 3 hours away 😪😪

45. Turn on's? choking, spanking, being called names, ropes

46. Turn off's? age play is a no go

47. Have you ever had a sexual fantasy about someone? Was it about anyone other than your lover? yes i have and since we started dating absolutely not

48. Have you ever had phone sex? Video sex? Chat box sex? yes like all the time the (since he lives 3 hours away)

49. What was the weirdest thing that has ever turned you on? uhhh I cant think of anything right now tbh

50. Do you like dirty talk? oh fuck yeah

51. Are you loud or quiet during sex? Masturbation? usually quiet bc i have to but I love being loud for my boyfriend

52. Have you ever been inturrepted during sex or masturbation? Who/what? yeah someone came downstairs and started yelling abt something, also my bf and I were fucking on the couch and the remote fell over

53. Most embarressing sex/masturbation story? god my exs mom walked in right after I gave him a blow job and she was like "what are you kids doing?"

54. Most hilarious sex/masturbation story? bruh my bf and i were trying to fuck and we had to watch his sisters dog (like in the room) and she started trying to sniff his ass it was so fucking funny he jumped off me

55. What kind of porn do you like to watch? I dont really watch porn anymore tbh

56. First type of porn you have ever watched? (ie. lesbian, hentai, threesome) leabian for sure

57. What was the most recent type of porn you have ever watched? What category was it under? uhhh threesome I think

58. Most hilarious/stupidest porn you have ever watched? dude this man had a pizza around his dick and the chicks grandpa deadass had a heartattack and she still rode him

59. Have you ever fantasized over someone older than you? How much older? Younger? How much younger? chris evans tbh (older by a hot second)

60. Favorite sex toy (if any)? I quite like my purple dildo

61. Have you ever had to break up with/divorce someone because you weren't satisfied with their sex? nah

62. Have you ever used anything/gotten any surgeries to improve sexual performance/feel? nope and probably never will

63. If someone you knew asked for a nude image, would you do it? What about a tumblr follower? yes for my boyfriend anytime but not for any of yall sorry

64. Have you ever told someone any wet dreams/fantasies you've had about them? yes my bf is a fan of them

65. Do you like to have sex like they do in pornos? no bc I have real orgasms (finally!!!)

66. Have you ever confessed to someone that you got an erection over them? What about masturbated to them? yes I tell my bf and we have phone sex at least once a week

67. Are you able to be secretive when you masturbate? (like able to be quiet so no one can hear?) yeah I kinda have to

68. When was the first time you achieved orgasm? when i was 15 I was literally sitting on a closed toilet in my house bc I shared a room at the time w my sister so i had no choice

69. Is there only one way so far that you have been able to achieve orgasm? (ie. only by using toys, only from 1 positon,only from masturbating a certain way) nah I can do clitoral, clitoral/penatrative, and just penetration

70. Favorite type of oral? the kind w his tongue on my pussy?

71. Strangest sexual positon you've tried? havent really done any strange positions

72. Have you ever made up a sexual postion? not that I'm aware of

73. Girls: During sex, vaginal or anal? vaginal i fucking hate anal

74. Girls: During masturbation, clitorial, vaginal, or anal? clitoral

75. Do you like to be dominant or submissive? I love being a whiny sub

76. Have you ever masturbated to someone? yes

77. Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn't there when you needed them? god yes that is why I usually masturbate

78. Have you ever had a one night stand? Do you still keep in contact with them? yes and absolutely not

79. Have you ever had a friends with benefits? Are they still beneficial? yes and no

80. Have you ever had sex with someone who wasnt your partner? not while we were dating no, but ive had sex w people who arent him

81. Has any of your partners had sex with someone else? yes

82. Have you ever gotten pregnant? Were they your lover's or someone else's? nope though ive had a scare or two

83. Birth control or condoms? birth control

84. Do you ever masturbate to porn? not really anymore

85. Does anyone know you masturbate? Did you have to tell them? yes and not really?

86. Did your parents ever find out you were sexually active? yup

87. Do you have any STDs? nope

88. Have you ever masturbated to a fictonal character or celebrity? yeah when i was like 15/16

89. Have you ever had sex during "7 minutes in heaven"? nope never even played bc its lame

90. Spit or swallow? Or do you not like oral? I swallow if he cums in my mouth but i love getting it on my faceeee

91. Have you ever been rejected for sex? Have you ever rejected someone else? nope and yes

92. Do you have someone who said they are willing to take away your virginity if you havent lost it by a set age or if you just want to have a good time? no

93. Have you ever experimented with the opposite sex? yes

94. When you first lost your virginity, was it intended or spontanious? intended bc thats the only way we ever had sex unfortunately

95. Has anyone ever walked in when you were taking a shower with someone? nah

96. Did you ever tell someone once you lost your virginity? yeah I literally called my best friend (current boyfriend)

97. Does your lover know if you have masturbated? yes

98. Does your lover know that you want to have sex with them but cant? yes!! we dont live together and we are constantly horny it sucks!!!!

99. Do you like masturbation? eh

100. (Asker's ask) If i were to ask you if we could have sex, would you say yes? nope sorry

#mine #ask meme #meme #ask #ns/fw

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alxvensxoul · 5 years

Note

1-100 because im mean.

1. Are you a virgin?

I mean technically I am? I have done things but I have never been penetrated. And that sounded so wrong to say it that way but “gone all the way” made me sound twelve.

2. Does anyone besides you know your bra/penis size?

My sister does.

3. Do you know anyone who has any STDs?

I don’t think so.

4. Were you married when you first lost your virginity?

Again, technically a virgin but no because I have never been married.

5. Do you swear under celibacy?

6. When did you first lose your virginity? If you haven’t, when would you like to?

When it happens it happens.

7. Have you ever gotten tricked into aphrodisiacs or alcohol for sex?

8. Have you walked in on someone masturbating/having sex?

My darn sister!

9. Have you ever seen someone masturbate or have sex with their permission?

No. How awkward!

10. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?

We didn’t have sex but in the backyard at home my ex boyfriend and I… explored eachother. That doesn’t sound any better.

11. If you had to chose one, would you have outdoor sex or car sex?

Outdoor. Car sex sounds uncomfortable.

12. When was the age you first masturbated? Whether you knew it or not?

Not long ago..

13. Have you ever helped someone “finish”?

14. Have you ever had an erection in the past month? (clitorial counts, too)

I guess?

15. When was the last time you have had an erection? (clitorial counts, too)

I don’t know

16. Have you ever had an erection and someone noticed?

Nope

17. What is your method of masturbation? (ie. toys, clitorial, prostate)

Ok so.. my sister bought me a toy. Its a little pink thing that vibrates and for the longest time I didn’t touch it. Until I did..

18. What is your bra/penis size?

I am a B cup. Not too much..

19. Has anyone seen your private parts other than yourself or a family member?

Yes

20. What is the strangest thing you have ever put up your vagina/anus?

That toy my sister bought me

21. Do you like rough sex or intimate sex better?

I imagine I would like intimate sex but who knows until you try right?

22. When was the last time you masturbated?

A couple days ago.

23. When was the last time you had sex?

I haven’t

24. When was the last time you watched porn?

Uhhh….

25. Have you ever bought a sex toy? If so, which one did you buy last

I didn’t’ buy it, stephanie did. I don’t know what its called.

? First sex toy? If not, which one do you plan on buying when you do?

My sister bought me this little pink one.

26. Guys: Circumsized?

N/A

27. Which not-genital part of your body do you like being touched?

My shoulders

28. Which genital part of your body do you like being touched?

My breasts…

29. Girls: Are you able to achieve orgasm just through breast stimulation?

Never tried

30. What color/type of underwear are you wearing?

They are pink and lacy

31. Have you ever sent someone a picture or video of you in the nude? Did it include sexual actions?

32. Have you ever posted a picture of image of you in the nude on a website? Did it include sexual actions?

33. Have you ever anonymously sent/posted a picture or video of yourself in the nude? Did it include sexual actions?

34. Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr?

35. When was the last time you have had a wet dream?

I dont know. I don’t ever remember having one

36. Which wet dream was your favorite?

I dont remember ever having one

37. Is there a friend you would willingly have sex with?

Yes

38. Is there a celebrity/character you would willingly have sex with?

Dont we all have one?

39. Have you ever masturbated with someone?

40. Have you ever took a shower with someone that is not a family member?

41. Favorite sexual position? If you are a virgin, which position interests you?

I dunno. Something intimate with lots of room for kissing

42. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed?

No i would hate that

43. Are you into any BDSM?

Thats kind of scare. I don’t like pain so i don’t understand it.

44. Have you ever wanted to have sex with someone but knew you couldnt for any reason? Why?

I mean sure. We all have someone we would sleep with but can’t for some reason right? Maybe they’re a celebrity. Maybe they don’t know you exist. Maybe they don’t see you that way.

45. Turn on’s?

Tall boys, deep voices, goofy personalities

46. Turn off’s?

Smoking, being rude, being too forward

47. Have you ever had a sexual fantasy about someone? Was it about anyone other than your lover?

Yes and I don’t have a lover so yes.

48. Have you ever had phone sex? Video sex? Chat box sex?

Nope to all

49. What was the weirdest thing that has ever turned you on?

Oh god. Probably a guy in a bathing suit. It wasn’ that weird, it just came out of nowhere.

50. Do you like dirty talk?

I think it would be sexy

51. Are you loud or quiet during sex? Masturbation?

I am kinda loud….

52. Have you ever been inturrepted during sex or masturbation? Who/what?

My sister’s cat jumped out of my closet and scared me

53. Most embarressing sex/masturbation story?

See above. Stephanie walked in and saw what i was doing.

54. Most hilarious sex/masturbation story?

Again, see above

55. What kind of porn do you like to watch?

Romantic, sensual stuff. But its never very good.

56. First type of porn you have ever watched? (ie. lesbian, hentai, threesome)

Some scary hardcore stuff stephaie showed me.

57. What was the most recent type of porn you have ever watched? What category was it under?

Hardcore. My sister is weird

58. Most hilarious/stupidest porn you have ever watched?

Most of it is terrible

59. Have you ever fantasized over someone older than you? How much older? Younger? How much younger?

Yep. Just a few yeard older

60. Favorite sex toy (if any)?

My little pink one. Its the only one i have

61. Have you ever had to break up with/divorce someone because you weren’t satisfied with their sex?

62. Have you ever used anything/gotten any surgeries to improve sexual performance/feel?

63. If someone you knew asked for a nude image, would you do it? What about a tumblr follower?

nope

64. Have you ever told someone any wet dreams/fantasies you’ve had about them?

No! why would i tell them

65. Do you like to have sex like they do in pornos?

Nobody has sex like that or at least i hope not.

66. Have you ever confessed to someone that you got an erection over them? What about masturbated to them?

No!

67. Are you able to be secretive when you masturbate? (like able to be quiet so no one can hear?)

I have gotten pretty good at it but i don’t do it a lot

68. When was the first time you achieved orgasm?

I never have

69. Is there only one way so far that you have been able to achieve orgasm? (ie. only by using toys, only from 1 positon,only from masturbating a certain way)

Again, never have

70. Favorite type of oral?

I have only ever experienced one. That night in the backyard at home he.. well it was nice. But it didn’t last long. We were afraid we would get caught. It only happened that one time.

71. Strangest sexual positon you’ve tried?

I havent

72. Have you ever made up a sexual postion?

73. Girls: During sex, vaginal or anal?

I haven’t done either but nobody is putting anything up my butt

74. Girls: During masturbation, clitorial, vaginal, or anal?

See above

75. Do you like to be dominant or submissive?

Submissive

76. Have you ever masturbated to someone?

77. Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn’t there when you needed them?

I don’t have a sexual partner

78. Have you ever had a one night stand? Do you still keep in contact with them?

No i haven’t had one

79. Have you ever had a friends with benefits? Are they still beneficial?

No. That seems stupid

80. Have you ever had sex with someone who wasnt your partner?

81. Has any of your partners had sex with someone else?

He probably did. My ex.

82. Have you ever gotten pregnant? Were they your lover’s or someone else’s?

83. Birth control or condoms?

Both

84. Do you ever masturbate to porn?

No its weird

85. Does anyone know you masturbate? Did you have to tell them?

My sister

86. Did your parents ever find out you were sexually active?

Yes

87. Do you have any STDs?

88. Have you ever masturbated to a fictonal character or celebrity?

89. Have you ever had sex during “7 minutes in heaven”?

90. Spit or swallow? Or do you not like oral?

I haven’t done either but I feel like if its already in your mouth you might as well swallow it.

91. Have you ever been rejected for sex? Have you ever rejected someone else?

I rejected my sisters ex boyfriend who tried to hook up with me while they were dating

92. Do you have someone who said they are willing to take away your virginity if you havent lost it by a set age or if you just want to have a good time?

Nobody has told me they wanted to

93. Have you ever experiented with the opposite sex?

Yep

94. When you first lost your virginity, was it intended or spontanious?

I havent yet

95. Has anyone ever walked in when you were taking a shower with someone?

96. Did you ever tell someone once you lost your virginity?

I will tell Stephanie when it happens

97. Does your lover know if you have masturbated?

I don’t have one

98. Does your lover know that you want to have sex with them but cant?

Don’t have a lover

99. Do you like masturbation?

Yes sometimes

100. (Asker’s ask) If i were to ask you if we could have sex, would you say yes?

Honestly? Probably. I hope that doesn’t make you think differently of me.

#Sana:replies #YOU ARE MEAN #lotusshop

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tvheadfalls · 7 years

Note

Secret!

Anonym hat gesagt:Secret! Secret! Secret!!

well someones popular

01. Full name: Secret

02. Best friend: Denn i s ?

03. Sexuality: panromantic, gray-ace? also polyam

04. Favorite color: red

05. Relationship status: ???

06. Ideal mate: ????

07. Turn-ons:

08. Favorite food: bubble tea

09. Crushes: ?????????

10. Favorite music: doesnt rly have an ear for that. haha get i

11. Biggest fear: shapeshifters cant die, basically anything thats terrible and wont kill him. which sounds... super dark...calm down secret...

12. Biggest fantasy: beating the shit out of halo

13. Bad habits: he kinda melts when he panics i think that counts

14. Biggest regret: dunno yet

15. Best kept secrets: dunno yet (wouldnt it be hilarious if it was his name and secret wasnt actually his name. what a riot.)

16. Last thought:

17. Worst romantic experience: hes been playing the con game w halo and mori for a long time, there were times when he went “disguised” as a human and got hit on by weirdos, but nothing ever too bad happened? HE DOESNT HAVE A LOT OF EXPERIENCE

18. Biggest insecurity: lack of confidence

19. Weapon of choice: intimidation

20. Role Model: in a rly weird way, halo

#ask #thank youuu #oc #secret #Anonymous

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relationshipadviser-blog · 5 years

Text

Esther Perel: 'Fix the sex and your relationship will transform'

New Post has been published on https://relationshipqia.com/must-see/esther-perel-fix-the-sex-and-your-relationship-will-transform/

Esther Perel: 'Fix the sex and your relationship will transform'

Esther Perels breathtakingly frank therapy podcasts Where should we begin not only make for juicy listening, theyve revitalised the stale private lives of millions. Miranda Sawyer listens to the psychotherapist

Passion has always existed, says Esther Perel. People have known love forever, but it never existed in the context of the same relationship where you have to have a family and obligations. And reconciling security and adventure, or love and desire, or connection and separateness, is not something you solve with Victorias Secret. And there is no Victors Secret. This is a more complicated existential dilemma. Reconciling the erotic and the domestic is not a problem that you solve. It is a paradox that you manage.

Ooh, Perel is a great lunch date. All psychotherapists are, in my experience, but shes particularly interesting. Sex, relationships, children; she covers them all in the two hours we spend together. But also collective trauma, migration, otherness, freedom all the good stuff.

Perel is a practising couples and family therapist who lives in New York. Aside from her clinical work she counsels around 12 couples or individuals each week she has two best-selling books: one about maintaining desire in long-term relationships (Mating in Captivity), the other about infidelity (The State of Affairs). She has released two fascinating podcast series, called Where Should We Begin?, where listeners get to listen in on real-life couples having therapy with her. The podcast is where I first came across her its won a British Podcast Award, a Gracie Award in the States and was named as the Number One podcast by GQ.

On top of all this, she hosts workshops and lectures as well as the inevitable TED talks, one of which has been watched more than 5m times. I went to one of her London appearances earlier this year. Alain de Botton was the host and he introduced Perel with quite some hyperbole, calling her one of the greatest people alive on Earth right now. (Perel dismissed this afterwards, though she likes de Botton: He put me on such a platter.)

Esther Perel sometimes sings to her clients; she tells them off quite a lot, especially if they think sex should come naturally. Photograph: Jean Goldsmith for the Observer

The reason for Perels popularity is her clear eye on modern relationships. She says, rightly, that we expect much more from our marriages and long-term relationships than we used to. For centuries, marriage was framed within duty, rather than love. But now, love is the bedrock. We have a service model of relationships, she says to me. Its the quality of the experience that matters. She has a great turn of phrase: The survival of the family depends on the happiness of the couple. Divorce happens now not because we are unhappy, but because we could be happier. We will have many relationships over the course of our lives. Some of us will have them with the same person.

For a while, Perel wasnt taken particularly seriously by the therapist community: she tells me that when Mating in Captivity came out in 2006, it was only the sexologists that thought it was great. This is because her thinking went against long-established relationship wisdom, namely that if you fix the relationship through talking therapy, then the sex will fix itself. Perel does not agree. She says that, yes, this might work, but I worked with so many couples that improved dramatically in the kitchen, and it did nothing for the bedroom. But if you fix the sex, the relationship transforms.

We meet in a boutique hotel in Amsterdam, where Perel orders her food in fluent Dutch. She has a light Belgian accent (she says boat for both), and she wears some delicate gold jewellery, a bit like the Indian hath panja, on her right hand. (Both of these seem to excite American journalists, along with Perels good looks. A relationship therapist who you might fancy, shocker!)

We begin talking about her podcast series. Its an astonishing listen, partly because you get to earwig other peoples problems (always great) and partly because Esthers methods are so flexible: in the first series she got one young woman to wear a blindfold while her partner inhabited a more assertive sexual character, which he did by speaking in French. She sometimes sings to her clients; she tells them off quite a lot, especially if they think sex should come naturally: Who the hell told you that BS?

Series three, released next month, is slightly different to the last two. This time round Perel very deliberately chooses couples at different stages, because she wants to show an arc of a relationship, all the way to its end. Also, she says, I wanted to bring in the way that relationships exist in a larger, social, cultural, context. That context often gives a script about how one should think about suicide, about gender, about divorce and so forth. So we hear from a young couple coping with enforced distance in their relationship: one is US-born and the other is Mexican, without a US visa. Another is a mother and her child, who does not identify as either gender. Another couple, with a young child, have divorced, but seem to get along much better now: why?

Perel finds her podcast therapees via her Facebook page: they apply in their thousands. Her podcast producers sift through, using guidelines that Perel suggests them: this time round she knew she wanted to cover infertility and also suicide. Then theres a lengthy pre-recording interview process where its explained to the couples that, yes, this really is going on air and, yes, they might be recognised (from their voices; theyre anonymous otherwise). Are you OK in understanding that your story will become a collective story? You will be giving so much to others, as well. Its not just for you, actually. And then they have a one-off session with Perel for three to four hours, edited down to around 45 minutes for the podcast.

She loves the format. The intimacy of it, the private listening of it, the fact that you dont see them, thus you see yourself. You hear them but you see you. It reflects you in the mirror. But also, surely, its quite exposing for you? Oh yes. People can come and hear me give a talk, but theyve never seen me do the work and you cant talk about what you do. But when you write a book, that is the first part of exposure. Then comes TED and the podcast. If you ask, What does Perel do? My colleagues know how I do.

Perel is 60 now; I wondered how she found being a relationship therapist when she was younger, in her 20s. Werent clients put off by her youth? Actually, Ive always found that the age of the clients goes up with me, she says. It mirrors. I dont know why. She doesnt think lived experience is necessary, though sometimes she wonders how she had the chutzpah to counsel parents before she became one herself (now she has two grown-up sons; shes still married to their dad, Jack Saul, who is a professor and an expert in psychosocial trauma). But then I have worked a lot with addiction, and Im not an addict.

Interestingly, she came to therapy via drama. Drama and collective trauma. She was the second child of Polish Jews who came to Belgium as Holocaust survivors (Perels first passport was a stateless passport of the UN). In Belgium, they became part of a community of 15,000 Jewish refugees.

Loss, trauma, dismantlement of the community, immigration, refugees All these themes that I observe in the world today, were basically mothers milk to me, she says. Everybody had an accent, a good number of people had the number on their arms. There were no grandparents around, there were no uncles. Its all I knew. Its different than if it was just your parents. Its every home I went to. One of Perels earliest memories is of card games where her parents would talk of a friend, and someone would say, casually, Ah, he was gassed, he didnt make it.

Perels parents had her older brother in 1946, then she came along 12 years later. This was not uncommon. When people came out of the camps, the first thing they did to prove that they were still human was to have a child. They waited to get their periods back, and then they had a child. But then there was a gap of 8, 10, 12 years before they had another. Perel thinks this was because the parents needed to establish themselves in society. Hers ran a clothes shop in Antwerp. The family lived above the shop. They spoke five languages: Polish, Yiddish, German, French and Flemish. Every evening they watched the news in German, French and Flemish, to get a good all-round view.

Divorce happens now not because we are unhappy, but because we could be happier: Esther Perel. Photograph: Jean Goldsmith for the Observer

As a teenager, she was interested in psychology, mostly because she hated the strictness of school. She read Summerhill: A Radical Approach to Child-Rearing, about a British school run like a democracy, and from there she moved to Freud. I was interested in understanding myself better and in people around me. People dynamics. I was quite melancholic and I was often wondering, How does one live better? How do you talk to your mother so she understands you better? Id say the primary ingredient I had was curiosity. I was a massively curious person I still am. She was also a good listener a confidante for her friends. I tell her she would have made a great journalist, and she agrees: That would have been my other career.

After school she went to study in Jerusalem, a university course that combined French linguistics and literature. More importantly, she developed her interest in theatre, which had begun in early adolescence. I assumed she was an actor, but shes talking of improv and street theatre, with puppets, of all things. Big ones, you hold them on two long high sticks, or I did hand puppets. She liked the immediate contact with people and gradually, she found herself merging these skills with her studies, doing theatre with gangs,with street girls,with Druze,with foreign students. At one point she went to Paris to study under Augusto Boal, who created the Theatre of the Oppressed. He would stage fake crises in everyday situations: actors pretending to have a physical row on the Metro, for instance. Perel found it interesting to see which passers-by would get involved and which would turn away.

She moved to New York to do her Masters. She specialised in identity and immigration How is the experience of the migrant different if it is voluntary migration or forced migration? and in how minority communities relate to each other. She led workshops for what were then called mixed couples: interracial, intercultural, interreligious. I knew the cultural issues. I knew how to run a group. I dont think I knew much about couples dynamics.

Around that time her husband, who is a few years older than her, suggested she might enjoy systemic family therapy. I ask what this is. For a long time when people looked at a problem, they thought the problem is located within the person, says Perel. But systemic family therapy thinks that a family, or a relationship, is made up of interdependent parts. What is the interactive dynamic that preserves this thing, that makes this child not go to bed? That makes this man never get a job? That makes this son be such a nincompoop? How is the family system organised around it? You need two to create a pattern, or three or four or five.

Its interesting how therapy has trends, I say, and how those trends manifest themselves in actual life. Couples therapy goes in parallel to the cultural changes and the expectations in a culture, says Perel. During the 1980s her married clients didnt come to her because their sex life was bad, they came because of domestic violence or alcoholism, not because we dont talk any more. Back then, the shame was to get divorced at all, even if one half cheated; now its not to get divorced if one half cheats. She saw clients having problems with infertility, the changing role of women and daughters, the Aids crisis. In the 90s, single mothers, blended families, gay couples with kids. Todays problems, she says, are often centred around people marrying later, after a sexually nomadic youth. Also, modern fatherhood dads wanting to be more involved in childcare and monogamy versus polyamory. Straight couples are becoming more gay, gay couples more straight.

The obvious question, of course, which she has been asked many times, is how Perels own relationship works. She doesnt like to give too many details, but what she does say is that she and Saul give each other a lot of freedom If youve had an interesting life, you have more to bring back, something that energises the couple and that they renegotiate their relationship as it changes. At the moment her husband is entering what she calls a third stage, and he wants to paint more. This means he will be away from New York a lot, while she is usually in New York or travelling herself. We need to, once again, come up with a new rhythm of how we create separateness and togetherness. Its a fundamental task.

She wants others not to copy her own relationship, but to use her work as a way to better their own relationship for themselves. And plenty do. Just the other week a young woman came up to her and asked for a selfie. She said, My boyfriend listens to you all the time, and he comes home and he says, Have you listened to this episode, we need to talk? The podcast is a transitional object, a bridge for conversation. Like a teddy bear that you hold and you say: Its OK, dont be worried.

Like when couples talk through their dog, I say.

Yes, she says. There is such disarray and such hunger about getting help on how we manage our relationships today, on navigating the challenges For the first time we have the freedom of being able to design our relationships in a way that we were never capable of doing before, or allowed to do before. So, I dont give the details of my relationship. Instead I will give you the tools to come up with your own thing.

Season 3 of Esther Perels Where Should We Begin is available exclusively on Audible from 5 October

Try this at home

Three ways to change the way you think about your partner at home

Pay attention to what is important to the other What happens in a couple is that we often give to the other what we want them to give to us. If somebody is upset, you dont talk to them, because when you are upset you like to be left alone. It isnt necessarily what they need.

Roles are often patterns rather than habits If you really want the other person to take out the rubbish, you have to be able to spend two weeks not doing it. You dont say anything. You just wait until the other person finally notices it. When youre not there, the other person sorts the bin. They can do it. Its just that when youre there theyd prefer not to.

Women are not less interested in sex than men, theyre less interested in the sex they can have What makes women lose that interest? Domesticity. Motherhood. The mother thinks about others the whole time. The mother is not busy focusing on herself. In order to be turned on you have to be focused on yourself in the most basic way. The same woman whos numb in the house gets turned on when she leaves. She doesnt need hormones. Change the story.

Read more: http://www.theguardian.com/us

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hatnews3-blog · 6 years

Text

Ask Ausiello: Spoilers on Good Place, Riverdale, Timeless, B99, Resident, Million Little Things, Flash and More

Got a scoop request? An anonymous tip you’re dying to share? Send any/all of the above to [email protected]

Question: Got any Riverdale scoop? What’s next for Archie? —Kerri Ausiello: When we last saw Archie in the fall finale, he was dyeing his famous red locks and making a run for the Canadian border. Executive producer Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa won’t tell us who he finds when he gets there, but “he is headed into the Canadian wilderness, for sure.” He won’t be seeing his dad Fred in the flesh anytime soon, though: It wasn’t shown on-screen, but the EP confirms that Fred did make it back into Riverdale before the quarantine came down.

Question: Any Million Little Things scoop? My friends and I are obsessed with it and hope it’s back for another season. —Montreal4 Ausiello: Remember how showrunner DJ Nash said that everyone in the group of friends has a secret they’ve kept? Look for Regina’s to come to light in Episode 14.

Question: Any scoop on what to expect when Grey’s Anatomy returns? —Al Ausiello: I will have a special holiday treat for you this coming Monday, so sit tight. In the meantime, I tried to get showrunner Krista Vernoff to share even the tiniest bit of intel about Jennifer Grey’s mysterious character and… I struck out. “I can’t [say anything],” she responded. “Because it would really ruin a twist and turn that I don’t want to ruin.” Hmm… I’m sticking with my initial prediction: She’s Jo’s mom.

Question: Anything on The Good Place? (Janet, specifically.) —Whitney Ausiello: Everyone’s favorite not-a-robot will be forever changed by having the humans materialize in Janet form, creator Michael Schur teases: “The way to really have empathy for people is to walk a mile in their shoes, and she did, like, the inverse of that. A bunch of people walked in her weird body for a decent amount of time… so that is another contributing factor to her evolution.” He adds that the season finale “has some pretty wonderful ‘compare this version of Janet to the one you saw in the pilot’ kinds of scenes.” So enjoy, Janet fans!

Question: I’m glad Dorian finally confronted Kaleb about his feeding problem on this week’s Legacies. Can I stop worrying about MG now? —Susan Ausiello: I don’t think it’s ever safe to stop worrying about MG, but as far as Kaleb goes, it sounds like Dorian’s pep talk was just the beginning. “Kaleb has a lot of really big ideas, and a lot of opinions about how things should work,” series creator Julie Plec says. “Much like in the real world when a hot-headed teenager thinks he can second guess what makes the rules the rules, he’s going to have a rude awakening pretty soon where he realizes he doesn’t know as much as he thinks he knows.”

Question: The ending of New Amsterdam‘s fall finale makes me think that Max’s cancer is progressing quicker than first assessed. Will this affect the clinical trial Dr. Sharpe has gotten him into? —Malasha Ausiello: We brought your query to showrunner David Schulner, and he said: “While we can’t reveal here what happened to Max on that dock, we will in our first episode back January 8. But, you’re right to ask if this will affect Max’s clinical trial. It most definitely will. This setback will change a lot of things in Max’s life. And Dr. Sharpe’s too. Thanks for watching and caring and writing to TVLine about the show.”

Question: Will The Flash give us any more hints about what Nora seems to be hiding? —SSH Ausiello: Now that we know there is some sort of alliance with Eobard Thawne, you should expect “a flash-forward flashback episode” that explains “how all that came to be, which will be a lot of fun,” says showrunner Todd Helbing. “You’ll slowly start to get the pieces of info that you need, but there will probably be one episode where we explain how that all happened to get her to come back [in time].”

Question: Challenge: Make me look forward to the Schitt’s Creek holiday episode more than I am already. — Belinda Ausiello: TVLine’s resident Schitthead Charlie Mason promises me that, no matter how great your expectations are, you won’t be disappointed — the special totally “sleighs.” What’s more, he issues a warning that the episode reveals a potential stumbling block to Alexis and Ted’s rekindled romance that neither she nor we anticipated.

Question: I need to know two things about Timeless: First, will #lyatt have a baby? Two, is Jessica really pregnant with Wyatt’s baby? —Miwako Ausiello: In response to your second question, star Matt Lanter says, “We address that [in the series finale, airing Dec. 20]. We’ll find out.” As for Wyatt, he’s not suspicious of Jessica and her baby news. “We’ve seen Wyatt be blinded by love throughout the last two seasons, though, and this is nothing new for him,” Lanter says. “Inherently, he’s a good person with a good heart, and I think he has a hard time accepting that people he loves or cares about … wouldn’t be good. So I think it’s easier as an audience member to look at Jessica and go, ‘Yeah, she’s lying.’ But I think Wyatt is just more blind to things.”

Question: How many time periods will we see in the Timeless finale? —Amanda Ausiello: “There are two-plus time periods, I will say that, that we have not visited before,” showrunner Arika Lisanne Mittman shares, adding that the historical time trips highlight “ethnic representations that we have not seen before [on the show]. Both of these stories are things that [are about] lesser known historical figures. You get to meet some new people that you’ve probably never heard of.”

Question: I’d love a Resident scoop on Conrad/Nic. —Holly Ausiello: I hope you enjoyed the couple’s honeymoon phase while it lasted, because the back half of Season 2 will be “nothing but obstacles” for the pair, according to executive producer Todd Harthan. “In just about every episode, there’s a new one for them to overcome… and they just start stacking up,” Harthan says, adding that the couple will be especially preoccupied with the health of Conrad’s father and Nic’s sister. “It’s going to be a ‘hold on and hope that they make it’ kind of ride,” he teases.

Question: Any hints on how to solve the Blindspot episode title puzzle for Season 4? —Hannah Ausiello: “Oh man! We finally built a title puzzle this season that is legit very hard to crack,” showrunner Martin Gero answers. “I will say this: The puzzle is an homage to some our favorite TV series and how they title the shows. Figure out which, and you might be a step closer.”

Question: Creek’s death on Midnight, Texas was so awful. Please promise me no one dies in tonight’s episode! —Rina Ausiello: I cannot make that promise. But I can tell you that Mr. Snuggly makes it through OK. So that’s something… right?

Question: Got any red-hot Chicago Fire scoopage, Aus? —Gene Ausiello: I see what you did there and I’m… very amused. Well done. The NBC drama is planning some girls-only bonding time for Sylvie, Stella and Emily. “They’re going to go on a road trip to [Sylvie] Brett’s hometown,” showrunner Derek Haas previews. The episode will air the week of Valentine’s Day, “so we’re calling it the Galentine’s trip.” Before that, though, the show will explore Emily’s “attitudes towards dating, which are different than Brett’s, and I don’t mean LGBTQ,” Haas explains. “I mean more of what [Emily, who is bisexual] considers casual versus what Brett considers casual. All of those dynamics are going to be deepened.”

Question: March is far away. I want American Gods scoop now! —Rob Ausiello: Well, because you asked so nicely… Pablo Schrieber says the “antagonist and ally” relationship between Mad Sweeney and Laura Moon will be tested big time by his allegiance to Mr. Wednesday when the Starz drama returns for Season 2. The leprechaun’s destiny “is tied to [Wednesday], no matter what, but it’s also very thoroughly tied to her,” the actor says. “So Sweeney is walking the line, balancing what he owes Wednesday and what he’s realizing he feels in other places.” Hmm. Sounds a lot like we’ll see Laura kissing the Blarney Stone before the season’s over, am I right?

Question: Can you give us any Outlander spoilers? (Especially involving Brianna’s and Jamie’s meeting!?!) This is my first time doing this — hope I’m doing it correctly! —Carolina Ausiello: You did OK. I’ll send you some notes about how to refine your approach in a separate email. Regarding the question at hand, I turn it over to our resident sassenach, Kim Roots, who has seen the scene in question: “I have rather high standards for the huge moments on this show — the wedding night, the print shop reunion, etc. — and I was incredibly satisfied by how the father-daughter plays out in [episode number redacted according to Starz’s spoiler restrictions]. Fans of the book definitely won’t be disappointed.”

Question: Elizabeth and Henry on Madam Secretary are #couplegoals. Please tell me anything you can. —Mary Ausiello: An upcoming episode opens with the McCords taking a tango lesson. And one of them is significantly more skilled than the other.

This AAnd That… ♦ THE BLACKLIST: As teased in the Season 6 trailer, Red will spend some time behind bars after being double-crossed by a close confidant — but don’t count him out just yet. “He’s really been stripped of his superpowers,” series creator Jon Bokenkamp shares. “He’s disconnected from his resources, he may have friends who will fall away and he’s sort of on his heels, which is new for us.” But Bokenkamp assures fans that “if anyone could embrace the solitude of a cell and the experience of incarceration with open arms, it would be Raymond Reddington. We have really high stakes, but we also have some of the most fun we’ve had, as well.” ♦ BROOKLYN NINE-NINE: There will be one major.hilarious change when the sitcom makes the leap from Fox to NBC in January. “We’re allowed to bleep and blur [now],” series co-creator Dan Goor recently told us. “Fox had a no bleeping and no pixelation policy.” Now the gloves are off. “Some filthy, filthy things have been said,” added Terry Crews. “I had one [joke] where I’m ashamed. I’m actually very, very ashamed. It was so jarring that everyone was like, ‘Whoa,’ and we needed to regroup… But holy cow, we never heard language like that on the show.” ♦ CHICAGO PD: Burgess is not the only one who will have a reaction to Upton and Ruzek’s romance. In an upcoming episode, Jay “responds in a way I think you’d expect Halstead to respond,” showrunner Rick Eid teases, “and I think what’s going on in his head is a little different than what he says.” Eid also adds that Jay’s “relationship [with] Upton is interesting and evolving, so don’t sleep on that.” ♦ HOUSEKEEPING NOTE: This is the last AA of ’18 so happy holidays and all that jazz!

That’s a wrap! Please send questions, comments and anonymous tips to [email protected]. (Additional reporting by Kim Roots, Andy Swift, Dave Nemetz, Vlada Gelman and Diane Gordon)

Source: https://tvline.com/2018/12/14/million-little-things-spoilers-season-1-episode-14-regina-secret/

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samanthasroberts · 7 years

Text

How Does This Hedge-Fund Manager Make So Much Money?

Ten miles south of downtown Atlanta, in an anonymous business center overlooking the airport, sits the headquarters of what, on paper, is a hedge-fund powerhouse.

The numbers coming out of the part-time office at One Hartsfield Centre are remarkable: annual returns of 13 percent, 24 percent, even 91 percent since 2013.

Clients arent quite sure how its done. And Joseph A. Meyer Jr., the man behind the obscure hedge fund, Arjun LP, is keeping his cards close. He says only that he employs a computerized system of his own design but invests most of his clients money in safe Treasury bonds.

Meyer is so confident in his approach that he offers an extraordinary guarantee: With Arjun, you will never lose money. His price of admission is steep, however. Investors must hand over their cash for a decade. If they exit early, Meyer keeps half the principal.

Ive got a spreadsheet that did the calculations, Meyer, 49, says of his system. And then I just got coders to code it, so that the computers coming up with it, cause I cant, I couldnt, manually do something like that.

Joseph Meyer Jr. Photographer: Simone Foxman/Bloomberg

Multiple Irregularities

A lot of things about Arjun might seem peculiar. Since 2013, for instance, it has employed no fewer than three different auditing firms. Brian Kemp, Georgias secretary of state, says his securities division has discovered multiple irregularities involving Arjun and its parent company, Statim Holdings Inc.

Based on these irregularities, the divisions enforcement personnel immediately launched a formal investigation into potential violations of the Georgia Securities Act, Kemp said in a statement to Bloomberg on July 11. The investigation is ongoing at this time.

Meyers legal counsel, Parth Munshi, says its all a misunderstanding, in particular because Statim believed it wasnt required to submit to a surprise audit. He says Statim has retained a firm to conduct one.

Near the Top

Arjun might never have gained much attention at all except for one thing: The numbers Meyer has been reporting have placed him, quite improbably, near the top of the hedge-fund game. In many ways, hes a monument to the golden age of hedge funds. For folks hoping to beat the markets, investing in one of these private pools of money is a tantalizing prospect.

Its also one that can take a bit of faith. David Recknagel, a sales executive in Detroit, met Meyer when the money manager was doing consulting work. Recknagel says he invested in Arjun after losing confidence in big banks and money-management companies. He concedes hes not sure how Meyer does what he does.

I understand it in general, but I probably dont understand it completely, Recknagel says.

Enticing Numbers

Meyers numbers certainly are enticing. Relying on data reported to Bloomberg LP, Bloomberg News ranked Arjun eighth in 2015 among hedge funds with between $250 million and $1 billion in assets. BarclayHedge, which also tracks hedge funds, has bestowed no fewer than 17 awards on Arjun, according to Meyers website. Arjun was named one of five top global macro funds of 2015 in HedgePos Investors Choice Awards.

Behind Meyers figures is a puzzle: In January 2015, BarclayHedge data showed Arjuns main investment class had $115 million under management. A year later, data compiled by Bloomberg showed the total was $338 million. This past March, in a filing with the state of Georgia, Statim said Arjun managed $39 million in all. Funds with more than $100 million must file similar information with the Securities and Exchange Commission. As of July 25, no such filing appeared on the SECs website.

Ty Trippet, a spokesman for Bloomberg LP, said of the companys ranking methodology: Bloombergs hedge-fund rankings are based on a combination of Bloomberg data, information from the hedge fund, investors and other sources.

BarclayHedge, HedgePo

Sol Waksman, president of BarclayHedge, pointed to a BarclayHedge disclosure that says performance and valuation information has been supplied by the funds or their agents and although believed to be reliable, has not been independently verified and cannot be guaranteed. Ryan Kalish, co-founder of HedgePo, now known as Allocator, declined to comment.

Asked during an April interview to reconcile the numbers, Meyer said that Bloombergs $338 million figure was right and that it included money from a family account as well as from outside investors. In an interview this month, Munshi and Meyer both said the company doesnt provide figures on the firms asset management to anyone.

Regulators require hedge funds to give investors proof that their assets exist, either by contracting an outside firm to conduct a surprise audit or by having an independent accountant send them audited financial statements. Statim does neither.

Custody of Assets

Asked why in a July 12 phone interview, Munshi said the firm mistakenly believed it didnt have possession, or custody, of the assets. In a later interview, he said the firm indeed had custody but thought it could sidestep the rules because of the method and the way that we had custody through required custodians.

Sitting in his modest office, Meyer hardly comes across as a hedge-fund highflier. A graduate of Duke University in Durham, North Carolina, with a business degree from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, he said he started his career as a consultant and analyst, first at First Union Corp. and later Andersen Consulting. He says he started Statim in 1993 to manage money for relatives. Looking to expand, he opened Arjun in 2007.

Meyer says his secret sauce is the proprietary program running on his computer that automatically sends orders to Arjuns prime broker. He says he tweaks his program every 16 months or so.

All it does is look at the last trade and calculate trades that would be equivalent of, What if this security increases 50 percent in value in the next three seconds, Meyer says of his program.

Jeans and Beer

Jeff Roberts, who runs a real-estate appraisal company in Asheville, North Carolina, says he met Meyer in 1989, while the two were at First Union. They became friends after Meyer, wearing jeans and a T-shirt, turned up one day in a Ford pickup to give Roberts a lift. A 12-pack of Budweiser rested on the front seat. Roberts says hes invested several hundred thousand dollars and Meyer has been great.

How many hedge-fund managers can you get to call you back? The guy thats actually the investment officer or, you know, chairing the fund? It just doesnt happen,” Roberts says.

Roberts and Recknagel say theyve also enjoyed a Statim perk: Meyer extends inexpensive short-term loans against their investments. Recknagel says hes used the money to invest even more with Meyer. He says he also has a Statim corporate American Express card.

Perks aside, both men say they get scant information about Arjun beyond sporadic investor letters, usually written by Meyers wife, Nija. One reviewing Arjuns 2015 performance said the main share class posted a gain of almost 24 percent that year, when volatility on an intra-day basis was historical.

Since Statim doesnt send audited financial statements to its investors, theyll have to take Meyers word for it.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/how-does-this-hedge-fund-manager-make-so-much-money/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2018/03/24/how-does-this-hedge-fund-manager-make-so-much-money/

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adambstingus · 7 years

Text

How Does This Hedge-Fund Manager Make So Much Money?

Ten miles south of downtown Atlanta, in an anonymous business center overlooking the airport, sits the headquarters of what, on paper, is a hedge-fund powerhouse.

The numbers coming out of the part-time office at One Hartsfield Centre are remarkable: annual returns of 13 percent, 24 percent, even 91 percent since 2013.

Joseph Meyer Jr. Photographer: Simone Foxman/Bloomberg

Multiple Irregularities

Near the Top

I understand it in general, but I probably dont understand it completely, Recknagel says.

Enticing Numbers

BarclayHedge, HedgePo

Custody of Assets

Meyer says his secret sauce is the proprietary program running on his computer that automatically sends orders to Arjuns prime broker. He says he tweaks his program every 16 months or so.

All it does is look at the last trade and calculate trades that would be equivalent of, What if this security increases 50 percent in value in the next three seconds, Meyer says of his program.

Jeans and Beer

How many hedge-fund managers can you get to call you back? The guy thats actually the investment officer or, you know, chairing the fund? It just doesnt happen,” Roberts says.

Since Statim doesnt send audited financial statements to its investors, theyll have to take Meyers word for it.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/how-does-this-hedge-fund-manager-make-so-much-money/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/172187253252

0 notes

allofbeercom · 7 years

Text

How Does This Hedge-Fund Manager Make So Much Money?

Ten miles south of downtown Atlanta, in an anonymous business center overlooking the airport, sits the headquarters of what, on paper, is a hedge-fund powerhouse.

The numbers coming out of the part-time office at One Hartsfield Centre are remarkable: annual returns of 13 percent, 24 percent, even 91 percent since 2013.

Joseph Meyer Jr. Photographer: Simone Foxman/Bloomberg

Multiple Irregularities

Near the Top

I understand it in general, but I probably dont understand it completely, Recknagel says.

Enticing Numbers

BarclayHedge, HedgePo

Custody of Assets

Meyer says his secret sauce is the proprietary program running on his computer that automatically sends orders to Arjuns prime broker. He says he tweaks his program every 16 months or so.

All it does is look at the last trade and calculate trades that would be equivalent of, What if this security increases 50 percent in value in the next three seconds, Meyer says of his program.

Jeans and Beer

How many hedge-fund managers can you get to call you back? The guy thats actually the investment officer or, you know, chairing the fund? It just doesnt happen,” Roberts says.

Since Statim doesnt send audited financial statements to its investors, theyll have to take Meyers word for it.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/how-does-this-hedge-fund-manager-make-so-much-money/

0 notes

el-michoacano · 7 years

Note

Answer all 100 NSFW tmi questions. Lol thanks.

You are a monster 😋

1. Are you a virgin?

Depends on your definition of virginity

2. Does anyone besides you know your bra/penis size?

Nope

3. Do you know anyone who has any STDs?

Not that I know of!

4. Were you married when you first lost your virginity?

5. Do you swear under celibacy?

I’m not sure what that means?

6. When did you first lose your virginity? If you haven’t, when would you like to?

I hope to in January 😋

7. Have you ever gotten tricked into aphrodisiacs or alcohol for sex?

8. Have you walked in on someone masturbating/having sex?

Nope

9. Have you ever seen someone masturbate or have sex with their permission?

10. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?

11. If you had to chose one, would you have outdoor sex or car sex?

Car sex, definitely!

12. When was the age you first masturbated? Whether you knew it or not?

I was fourteen, I think

13. Have you ever helped someone “finish”?

No, but I’d like to!

14. Have you ever had an erection in the past month? (clitorial counts, too)

Of course!

15. When was the last time you have had an erection? (clitorial counts, too)

Yesterday 😋

16. Have you ever had an erection and someone noticed?

Nope. Can you image how embarrassing that would be?

17. What is your method of masturbation? (ie. toys, clitorial, prostate)

Well, there is a little pink vibrator I’ve become very fond of lately!

18. What is your bra/penis size?

48 DDD

19. Has anyone seen your private parts other than yourself or a family member?

Nope

20. What is the strangest thing you have ever put up your vagina/anus?

A highlighter, though that’s not very strange at all

21. Do you like rough sex or intimate sex better?

I’m gonna assume rough. I know what I like!

22. When was the last time you masturbated?

Yesterday

23. When was the last time you had sex?

24. When was the last time you watched porn?

Very early Friday morning

25. Have you ever bought a sex toy? If so, which one did you buy last? First sex toy? If not, which one do you plan on buying when you do?

Yep! That’d be the vibrator I mentioned earlier

26. Guys: Circumsized?

27. Which not-genital part of your body do you like being touched?

My neck and the insides of my wrists

28. Which genital part of your body do you like being touched?

Must you ask?

29. Girls: Are you able to achieve orgasm just through breast stimulation?

I never tried, but probably not

30. What color/type of underwear are you wearing?

Just white undies with skulls and roses on them. They have a cute little pink bow, too

31. Have you ever sent someone a picture or video of you in the nude? Did it include sexual actions?

No way, man! I’m too chubby for that! I prefer to keep my racy pics classy, thank you

32. Have you ever posted a picture of image of you in the nude on a website? Did it include sexual actions?

Nope

33. Have you ever anonymously sent/posted a picture or video of yourself in the nude? Did it include sexual actions?

Nope

34. Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr?

Nope

35. When was the last time you have had a wet dream?

It’s been quite a while

36. Which wet dream was your favorite?

I don’t remember them well enough to really have a favorite

37. Is there a friend you would willingly have sex with?

…Yes. He knows, and she’s certainly smart enough to have figured it out

38. Is there a celebrity/character you would willingly have sex with?

Yep

39. Have you ever masturbated with someone?

No, but that sounds lovely

40. Have you ever took a shower with someone that is not a family member?

Nope

41. Favorite sexual position? If you are a virgin, which position interests you?

I like the idea of being held down, especially if it’s by a hand around my neck 💖

42. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed?

I think I might?

43. Are you into any BDSM?

FUCK YEAH

44. Have you ever wanted to have sex with someone but knew you couldnt for any reason? Why?

Yep, mainly the fact that she’s engaged 😒

45. Turn on’s?

The first ones that come to mind are dirty talk, choking and being pinned dowm

46. Turn off’s?

Furries, watersports

47. Have you ever had a sexual fantasy about someone? Was it about anyone other than your lover?

Yes, and yes

48. Have you ever had phone sex? Video sex? Chat box sex?

Yes, no, yes

49. What was the weirdest thing that has ever turned you on?

…I have a tentacle fetish 🙈

50. Do you like dirty talk?

There’s very little I like more!

51. Are you loud or quiet during sex? Masturbation?

I’m pretty quiet

52. Have you ever been inturrepted during sex or masturbation? Who/what?

Unfortunately 😧 By parents and sisters and cat

53. Most embarressing sex/masturbation story?

I don’t really have any

54. Most hilarious sex/masturbation story?

None of those, either

55. What kind of porn do you like to watch?

Lesbian or gay. I don’t like the straight stuff

56. First type of porn you have ever watched? (ie. lesbian, hentai, threesome)

Some awful softcore shit on Cinemax! 😂

57. What was the most recent type of porn you have ever watched? What category was it under?

Some gay stuff with Jake Bass. That boy is a piece of work! 😍

58. Most hilarious/stupidest porn you have ever watched?

My sisterand I once Googled zombie porn!

59. Have you ever fantasized over someone older than you? How much older? Younger? How much younger?

Yep, about twenty years older? I have a thing for older men. Also yes, but only about seven years younger

60. Favorite sex toy (if any)?

Aforementioned pink vibrator

61. Have you ever had to break up with/divorce someone because you weren’t satisfied with their sex?

Nope

62. Have you ever used anything/gotten any surgeries to improve sexual performance/feel?

Nope

63. If someone you knew asked for a nude image, would you do it? What about a tumblr follower?

I don’t think so. I haven’t the confidence for that

64. Have you ever told someone any wet dreams/fantasies you’ve had about them?

Yep

65. Do you like to have sex like they do in pornos?

Probably not

66. Have you ever confessed to someone that you got an erection over them? What about masturbated to them?

Yes and yes

67. Are you able to be secretive when you masturbate? (like able to be quiet so no one can hear?)

Yep

68. When was the first time you achieved orgasm?

I have no idea, sorry

69. Is there only one way so far that you have been able to achieve orgasm? (ie. only by using toys, only from 1 positon,only from masturbating a certain way)

Nope, there are a few different ways that work for me

70. Favorite type of oral?

71. Strangest sexual positon you’ve tried?

72. Have you ever made up a sexual postion?

73. Girls: During sex, vaginal or anal?

Vaginal, definitely. Not sure I’d wanna try anal…

74. Girls: During masturbation, clitorial, vaginal, or anal?

Clitoral and vaginal

75. Do you like to be dominant or submissive?

I’m mostly a sub, but I do have a bit of a dominant streak

76. Have you ever masturbated to someone?

Yep

77. Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn’t there when you needed them?

Yep

78. Have you ever had a one night stand? Do you still keep in contact with them?

Nope

79. Have you ever had a friends with benefits? Are they still beneficial?

Yes, but it depends from person to person

80. Have you ever had sex with someone who wasnt your partner?

Nope

81. Has any of your partners had sex with someone else?

Yep

82. Have you ever gotten pregnant? Were they your lover’s or someone else’s?

HELL NO

83. Birth control or condoms?

Both. Safety matters!

84. Do you ever masturbate to porn?

Why else would you watch it??

85. Does anyone know you masturbate? Did you have to tell them?

Obviously people know

86. Did your parents ever find out you were sexually active?

I’m not, so

87. Do you have any STDs?

Nope

88. Have you ever masturbated to a fictonal character or celebrity?

Nope

89. Have you ever had sex during “7 minutes in heaven”?

I’ve never played it, so

90. Spit or swallow? Or do you not like oral?

I don’t like the idea of sucking dick 😒

91. Have you ever been rejected for sex? Have you ever rejected someone else?

No and no

92. Do you have someone who said they are willing to take away your virginity if you havent lost it by a set age or if you just want to have a good time?

No, but I wish I did

93. Have you ever experiented with the opposite sex?

Nope

94. When you first lost your virginity, was it intended or spontanious?

95. Has anyone ever walked in when you were taking a shower with someone?

96. Did you ever tell someone once you lost your virginity?

97. Does your lover know if you have masturbated?

I don’t have a lover, but there’s no reason to keep such a thing secret, so they would definitely know

98. Does your lover know that you want to have sex with them but cant?

99. Do you like masturbation?

I said I don’t have a lover, didn’t I? So, yes. Obviously I do

100. (Asker’s ask) If i were to ask you if we could have sex, would you say yes?

#asks

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