#last night was easily top 5 pain ive ever felt lol and its shit when i cant get home quickly to lie down

[1eeminho]

its quite something when ur psychosomatic pain is so intense u think ure about to die in the subway. especially when ure alone and its night and u still got an hour to go until ure home and can start pain management. it humbles u.

[signalsandsoundwaves]

kay so I’m like 95% sure I just had my first ever real lucid dream??

so I guess some background on this for the past few weeks/months I’ve been having I guess are called reality checks, in my nonlucid dreams where I see something and I kind of act like how I rationally would in real life when faced with the same situation, like in one dream this weird giant figure thing materialized in the middle of the football field while me and a couple of other girls were on the bleachers talking about art stuff and giving each other critiques (they were actually critiques I’d make IRL too like I remember saying the line weight in her drawing was great, try making the color palette a little more vivid, said those in particular) and the figure thing was almost slowly robotically moving towards me? I was very creeped out by this just as I’m very creeped out by robotic slow movements by people in real life (my brother would do that as a way of pranking me and I wanted to slap him for it) and I remember hauling ass down the bleacher steps and going across the street (for some reason this dream the bleachers and football field were in my back yard) and I leaped the fence to get into my front yard (it’s a short fence irl) to get towards the neighbor’s backyard fence and leaped that one too (it’s also a short fence irl i am not an athlete :(  ) and that’s where the dream ended BUT I just wanted to recount that to you as an example of how I’ve been responding rationally to irrational situations in my dreams recently which may have set me up for this.

Ok SO this morning (like just now) I was trying to sleep at least a little bit cuz I had like a 4-5 hour nap last night (I should not nap, I basically sleep for soooo long lmfaooo) and after to trying to fall asleep for a couple of hours i finally fell asleep!! Good right? Nah. 

so the dream opened up to me sitting at the computer in my room watching a new rick and morty episode (season 3 episode 2 to be precise, which is not actually out yet!! so disappointed) and in the dream I was consciously thinking, “Wow! A new episode! Wait this is weird, isn’t the new season not coming out until summer? Are they releasing the new season early as another joke? Gosh this is a good joke if it is” and then I really got my first inkling of Wait a minute because the episode was some kind of weird musical episode!

Except it wasn’t obviously choreographed with timed routines and all of the stuff a proper musical would have it was just like dialogue they were speaking while singing it out? it was very very strange and I distinctly remember thinking Wait a minute Rick and Morty would never do shit like this and then when I had that thought they stopped singing their dialogue. and Thats. When. Shit. Hit. The. Fan. and I was legit having a 100% bonafide LUCID DREAM and I realized I had control! And I thought how fun! Let’s try something simple! So I just kinda made up some little cartoon characters and they appeared. I imagined them singing and stuff and they did that! and then I did some other things like changing the color of paint in my room, moving around (except that was weirdly difficult and it felt like I was trying to move through molasses which I realized then was because I was trying to move while my body was asleep and locked up from sleep mode) and it was pretty alright! 

Aaaaaand then I had remembered some line i read like a bajillion years ago about how you have to be sure to resolve any anxieties, fears, whatever because otherwise it could show up in the dream and I was kind of worrying because I was actually having fun and I didn’t want that to end AND THE FUCKING SECOND I WORRIED THAT THIS FUCKING LITTLE TOOTH MONSTER THING APPEARED and it was really weird because it had no eyes a g i a n t mouth that spanned its head (just like the harlequin demon from nightmare before christmas) and at the same time looked like a cartoon character? like brightly colored and everything and it would be harmless looking if it werent for that god damn mouth

and this little tooth monster started trying to get at me! and it hadn’t tried to hurt me yet or anything but I wasn’t sure and I knew it was caused by my worrying so I had a vibe it wasn’t going to be so good when it did get at me and I was thinking of ways to bind the little fucker up so I could properly deal with it and I realized that I had control here so I could try and vanish it away and it did! for like two seconds. then my thinking about it just made it reappear right in front of me as if it never left. So then I tried waking up. And I did, in the dream :/ I woke up to no cartoon characters moving around and nothing around and all way quiet and the room layout changed to match the room I have now (I really should have realize I was in a dream when my room layout changed but wait! There’s more!) except the paint color was yellow like my old room. I should have realized at that moment that I was still sleeping but I didn’t, and then I only realized I was still asleep in real life when me attempting to move my arm felt like I was trying to move through molasses again. 

And that was when I thought Oh Shit and the fucking. gremlin. tooth. monster. appeared. again right when I thought that! and it was back yet again with a vengeance and this time I thought okay I got control here right? I can just make some ropes or something and when I thought that these snake rope things came out of my fingers and started wrapping themselves around the tooth monster thing and it kind of worked, the little beast was restrained! so that was half of the problem solved and I started bringing the thing closer to myself because honestly I was going to rip this thing apart and get rid of it for good (until the next gremlin shit came along) so I started to try tearing it apart, and it came apart much easier than I thought it would! except this time there was no blood and it was like russian dolls where there was a smaller one inside the outer one? the shell of the outer one was super thin and connected the top half to the bottom half with those thin flimsy plastic hinges that you see on easter eggs. and the next one came apart easily still connected with that flimsy hinge, and the next, and the next too

the whole time while i was trying to tear this thing apart i kept hearing the thing laugh which was really weird because the body of the thing acted like it was in pain when I was popping them apart and then the discarded shells were unresponsive like they were dead? which made sense except for the laughing. it was a really weird kind of high pitched laugh like a baby that kept going as I split the bodies apart and I kept desperately trying to wake up wake up wake up and then I finally did wake up! In a lilac room, not yellow, which took me a second to realize was the proper room color that I should be seeing. I tried moving, much easier now, no molasses. aaand then i got up and had to do a quick reality check by interrogating my mom as to the errands we did yesterday and freaking her out LMAO 

so then I thought I had to tell the internet somehow (cuz im lame lol jk jk) and then I just went ahead and made a post here for posterity. Oh and one more thing time passed actually kind of normal in the dream? like I woke up and I was shocked that only about 30 or 40 minutes had passed which on second thought made sense because the events in the dream probably had only taken about that long to happen, but IRL when I dream I wake up with hours having passed. i guess i woke up in the dream relatively early hmmmm

edit: prob notable to point out that this is probably the first time ive had an actual nonsensical dream, usually it’s got some degree of realism or almost terrifying realism to it :(