#landsoffthemap

[jassrain]

A scam artist duo that plays at hero and villain, a mostly good routine until they enter The City with real villains and not a hero in sight.

[jassrain]

"Mom or dad? Which parent did you inherit your powers from?"

Not an easy question to answer, thing is mom and dad were half-bloods, and while my siblings got the brunt of the looks they didn't get the powers. Sure my mouth and nose extended forward a little and I had my dad's teeth and mom's eyes, I looked mostly human. The powers didn't come from mom or dad, the powers came from their dragon parents. These guys didn't get it, they soon will...or end up extra crispy. "Neither, actually."

[jassrain]

Rain pinned the spinning gold coin to the desk with a ruler, carefully she scooped it up on the end to examine.

“My dad gave it to me on my eighteenth birthday, he said it should have been mine sooner but his mother made that difficult,” a young man stated as he watched Rain examine the coin on the ruler. While his lineage was very wealthy, he was raised middle class. His intelligence impressed Rain so she sponsored him in his collegiate endeavors, she was his guidance counselor and that's all he knew of her aside from a collection of antique oddities.

“He included some odd instructions regarding how the coin was to be used….why aren't you touching it?” He finally asked, seeing her looking at it held in a pair of small tongs, or large forceps.

“Because it's dragon gold and seals a contract between your family and the dragon. My touching it would upset the contract almost as bad as your father's mother nearly did,” Rain waved to some tabloids and well respected newspapers with articles about a scandal that nearly bankrupted a company until a few days ago. “Such pacts are rare but can go for generations. There is a price, usually paid by the last in the family line.”

“That doesn't sound like an explanation,” the young man slumped in the chair.

“Fine, I'm the half-blood daughter of a dragon,” a low growl filled the office, “and dragons rarely get along.” She placed the coin in the boy's hand quickly. “Now, you have two dragons interested in your fate, that one came first,” she nodded to the coin, “so I think it's time I step back and let your family friend take over your care.”

“But what if I have more questions?” The young man asked as he pocketed the coin.

“I'll be here, though I doubt you will need my services.”

[jassrain]

A crimson robed figure rings a bell at the cave entrance. "Hello?" It calls into the cave with a rasping voice while looking at the bell curiously.

"Just a moment" a feminine voice boomed from inside, "have a seat, I'll be right out."

The crimson figure looked around, then sat on a stone chair that wasn't there moments before. A stone table and an earthwear tea set soon appear as well.

"I don't often get visitors and the lair is a mess, so please forgive my not inviting you in" a woman says from the cave entrance. At first she appears disheveled in a green housecoat and fuzzy slippers and sweats, with a rat's nest of black hair that shimmers green as it catches the morning light. As she sat across from the figure her appearance shifted to a woman wearing green wizard robes with an elaborate scale motif and light slippers.

"What brings you to my," she paused in thought while pouring the tea, "well, I already said lair, so lair?" She offered cream and sugar, both were declined by the crimson robed figure, the spirits she offered, however, were accepted.

"It seems" the figure rasped taking a sip of the tea, "your vale has come to be infested with humans."

"Oh, I know," the woman smiled and leaned back in her chair as she took a sip herself. She shrugged "I find them fascinating, I've only been to their village picnic and the tavern" she shakes a dreamy look from her face at the thought. "I don't see them as an infestation."

"Others thought as you, they soon found that thought folly" the figure warned.

"What do you suggest? I flame the lot of them? Or employ you to do it?" She raised an eyebrow. "A dragon knows who comes calling, litch."

"Getting rid of humans is what I came to offer to do for you" the litch lowered the hood, his skin was taught and stretched over his skull, wispy hair played in the light breeze. The only sign of life, aside from movement, was the unnatural icy blue glow in the eye sockets.

"I'm going to keep them, you may peddle your services elsewhere" she said with a snort.

The litch glared a moment while finishing the tea, "you will regret not accepting my offer. They will learn of you, your hord and come to kill you and take it for themselves."

"I think my only regret will be wasting fine spirits on you, good day."

[jassrain]

"Captain Crimvaren, ma'am," the cabin boy, Jim, huffed out. The youth was in a panic and scared, it read from his heavy breathing to wide darting eyes, and his pallid complexion.

"Take a breath Jimmy," Rain said as she stood up, her smoky voice soothing in tone. "What has you in such a state?" She asked, tightening the belt of her breaches after tucking in her tunic.

"Ma'am, the sky is strange….you have to see this, maam." The youth calmed enough to speak clearly.

"Then I'll have a look" she walked past the boy tousling his shaggy hair. She set up her boots next to the door and remained barefoot. After a brief glance at the ornate long coat she pulled the tricornered hat on to shade her eyes as she went out on deck.

On the deck there was dead silence, no one calling for sail work or rigging adjustments. Also missing was the sound of the sails snapping in the wind. There was the creek and groan of the rigging as the schooner bobbed.

"Are we in the doldrums Mr Hawk?" Rain asked, approaching the helm, snapping her fingers in front of the man's face when he didn't answer.

She finally turned to look at what had the crew so stunned to not answer their captain. The sea was still like glass and reflected the deep purple sky and maroon horizon of the sunset. There were however three moons in that sky, one full and two crescent. The crescent moons framing the full, giving the appearance of an eye.

"Jim" Rain said, pressing a key into the youth's hand, "give Skillet a sip of rum then help him distribute it to the others."

"Captain" the boy nodded, then from the stairs to the main deck "where are we, Captain?"

"Well off the map young Jim, well off the map." Dismissing Jim from her thoughts, Rain went to the rail and scanned the aft horizon.

[jassrain]

"Who dares cross my threshold?" The voice boomed and echoed through the cave entrance. The cave was large and natural for a hundred yards, long enough for the fear of dark places and any claustrophobia to kick in. After the natural cave it opened to a large carved cavern, worn dwarven runes marked the threshold and door posts.

"An adventurer on a high quest for the kingdom on the other side of the mountain" Rain answered suppressing the urge to giggle.

"What is the quest for?" The voice asked, booming like thunder. Rain heard a playful tone in it as a laugh was suppressed as well.

"Riches and glory, and if there's time save the princess" now Rain couldn't resist laughing and barely could say the last words.

A crimson dragon head rose to look at Rain and also started laughing. "Rain, daughter, it has been much too long." The dragon was now smiling and shaking with suppressed laughter. After a moment a man with flame red hair wearing an ornate dressing gown was pulling her in for a hug. "I'm glad you still play the game when you visit."

"It's the least I can do, not many adventurers left in the world" her voice was muffled against his shoulder as she returned the hug.

[jassrain]

"Mom or dad? Which parent did you inherit your powers from?"

Not an easy question to answer, thing is mom and dad were half-bloods, and while my siblings got the brunt of the looks they didn't get the powers. Sure my mouth and nose extended forward a little and I had my dad's teeth and mom's eyes, I looked mostly human. The powers didn't come from mom or dad, the powers came from their dragon parents. These guys didn't get it, they soon will...or end up extra crispy. "Neither, actually."

[jassrain]

"Where is he? Anyone have eyes on him?" A panicked voice came out of the walky.

"Still looking sir, sir, were the shadows always this dark?"

"Never mind the shadows and find him, we know he's here and hasn't left!"

"Right, switching to motion sensors and thermal tracking."

"Like that's going to work," Rain interjected, "he's a vampire and fast enough to move between the pulses."

"Look lady, vampires aren't real….they're…."

"They're what?" Lockheart's rich voice asked from the shadows.

"Oh fu…."

[jassrain]

"Why is the landscape moving?"

"Because it's not landscape, it's a dragon, a very large dragon."

"Then shouldn't we be running?"

"How far do you really think we can get, you thought the dragon was landscape."

[jassrain]

"I change my vote" Emeralda squeaked after seeing the mountains shift and swat two dragons down like gnats.

"Yeah, I agree," Naru nodded, "that beach trip sounds better and better."

"Oh well, too late now" Emmy sighed hoping to keep her fear out of her voice.

[jassrain]

There he heard it again, a sound that he had been searching for since he was young, now he was older and the memories came back.

"You, you were here, you brought me home from this place" he turned to his escort. His escort was a woman in cutoffs and a crop-top t-shirt, her ravenblack hair pulled into a ponytail and her emerald green eyes seemed aglow.

"Yes," Rain answered softly "you couldn't stay then but now, now you can if you wish."

"Thank you but why?" The man asked, happy tears starting down his aged cheeks.

"Last gift," Rain said and was gone.

[jassrain]

"A guy with a mop is going to save the world."

"Yeah, guess he's mopping up evil."

"Better than the guy with the broom."

"Why? He swept evil under the rug?"

[jassrain]

Dr Strange: "Kang the Conqueror meet the Jar Unconquerable." Holds up a pickle jar.

Wong: "I do not know of such an artifact."

Kang grunting in the background trying to open the jar.

Dr Strange: "It's the pickles you asked me to open three days ago."

Wong: "Oh, I've uh been portaling pickles out since I figured you wouldn't open the jar since I asked."

Strange: "We should go while he's busy."

[jassrain]

Twenty-three kings on thrones of power.

Five fall to one proclaimed emperor.

Seventeen kingdoms in civil war fall between the Empire and a twenty-fourth kingdom from the west.

Hope returns from the lands of the forgotten Ice Lords as the great protector has been awakened.

Prophecy of OR1CL-1101 from the Tomes of Tech.

[jassrain]

"I'm going to be the superhero that has hundreds of powers but uses like ten tops."

"I'll be the fire-breathing Lizard-Girl."

"Lizards don't breath fire, dragons do!"

"Then I'll be Dragon-Girl!"