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krispycreamcake · 2 months ago

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It has come to my attention that people in the fandom don't understand the use of implication, so I will now break down easily as possible for people that don't believe Cordelia sexually groomed Laito. @dl-drama-cd (Tws for rape and incest)

The conversation atop is one shared between Laito and Cordelia. Take note of the background. It is a bedroom. Not the garden or the kitchen or somewhere aesthetic in the moonlight, it is a bedroom.

A bedroom is used for sleeping or as Reiji likes to call it, private activities. We all know that people who usually share a bed are relatively close in terms of relationship, it doesn't matter what kind, they just need to be close.

Cordelia shares no emotional/maternal bonds with her sons. She is often described as crass or cold. Why are her and Laito in a bedroom together if they do not share such a bond?

A bed in media is often used (with context) as a symbolism for lovers sleeping together, because that's exactly where it happens.

How do we know that something more sinister is going on than just a mother and son talking? We can figure this out based on the conversation.

Let's look at what's said between the two.

In the first image, Laito poses a question to Cordi. He asks her, without explicitly saying what "it" is, what's her reason for doing this?

This is a canon interaction between these two characters, where character 1 (Laito), is unaware of the intentions that character 2 (Cordelia) possess. Which is why he is asking her, why she is doing "this", because he does not know why this is happening to him.

Cordelia then explains, also again without directly saying anything, that she does "this" because she loves him. This is Cordelia's reasoning and answer to Laito's previous question.

That's pretty straightforward, I don't think we need a paragraph long analysis on that.

Laito, who then repeats the word, love, in a questioning manner.

Why does he do this instead of just accepting her answer as is?

Because he is simply not satisfied with such an answer. Why isn't he just accepting her word as is? We, don't yet know because once again, the context in this current conversation is not said.

Continuing, we see Cordi backing up her previous statement by saying that there is no world out there where a mother doesn't love a son, and if there is, what kind of world would it be?

She tries to explain that Laito shouldn't question her actions, but rather accept them as they are, because that's an inherent profession of love between mother and son.

Laito, in response, flatly says that a world without love between mother and child, is the one that they live in.

In other words, Laito does not accept that "this" is what paternal love truly is. He believes that his mother does NOT love him, which we can easily pair up with his earlier question "Love?".

Now that we have some form of context to the character's inner thought process and what they are currently feeling, we can put together some pieces on what kind of conversation is actually going on.

At a first glance it can be assumed that a son is doubting his mother's love for him, because well, that's exactly what's happening.

But if we speculate a bit more on the background, and the given context of the conversation, we can now say that the truth of the situation lies within the more subtle clues.

Example #1.

This memory, isn't a pleasant one. This conversation has already happened and Laito is simply remembering it. You can use the images provided to reverse google search the complete scene for further proof, but as already stated, this is NOT a conversation he is very fond of.

Example #2.

The conversation that these two are having, shows us that one person is satisfied while the other isn't for whatever reason that may be. I've broken it down already so you can understand it a bit more, but feel free to once again do your own research.

Example #3.

The implication of the background. Like I've previously stated, I broke it down at the start of this post. But let me be absolutely clear and reiterate this, THE REASON THE BACKGROUND IMAGE IS HAPPENING INSIDE A BEDROOM AND NOT ANYWHERE ELSE (even though you can suck someone's blood anywhere you wanted to) IS BECAUSE THE CONTEXT LIES WITHIN THE BEDROOM ALONE. The creators didn't just randomly choose a free png of a bedroom for a conversation where a child asks a parent why they're doing something, that the child feels like diminishes the sole intent of paternal love. Context clues, matter.

Now then, I'll go on to add another image where I'll make a very short and factual analysis without hypotheticals or opinions being used.

Laito in this scene, is completely naked. He is naked and with a solemn expression on his face, thinking about his mother pleasuring him. He is also reminiscent on the words his mother has told him, that being "I love you, Laito".

Cordelia then says that "That kind of thing is just something given in exchange" when the words I love you, are said. Laito, once again, admits that he was being pleasured while thinking of his mother. [End analysis]

We can speculate that since he is thinking of his mother and pleasure at the same time, she is the one who is giving it to him.

Why do I think this? Because he is completely naked, his only thoughts being his mother's voice. That being said, we can now say that what is being "given in exchange" in Cordelia's words, after saying I love you (or perhaps vice versa, where I love you comes first) is pleasure.

I have a couple of links here we can make with these couple of images alone.

In the first part, we see them talking in a bedroom and the conversation eventually leads to satisfaction, in terms of "once I am satisfied with the outcome, there should be no question". She also references love here, as she does in the latest image I have provided.

With the context that we have now we can equate love to pleasure. And Cordelia states that she loves Laito multiple times throughout just these two scenarios.

Now, my interpretation of this is that Cordelia is clearly raping her son and using "love" as a means to mask, and more so, normalize what is happening between them. (I say normalize because Cordelia tries convincing Laito that this is what goes on between mother and son in the first conversation).

However, even if you do not share the same perspective, it is still abundantly clear that Cordelia Sakamaki, first wife of Karlheinz, daughter of King Burai of the Vibora clan, mother of Ayato Sakamaki, Kanato Sakamaki and Laito Sakamaki, is giving sexual pleasure to her son. Whether it is by bloodsucking, or by sex, or both.

She is sexually grooming Laito by giving him these sensations a mother should not be giving her child, and is committing an act of incest.

#diabolik lovers #laito sakamaki #dialovers laito #diabolik lovers laito #diabolik boys #dialovers #diabolik lovers fandom #diabolik lovers analysis #cordelia sakamaki #cordelia #dl fandom #rape/noncon #tw grooming #tw rap3 #tw inc*st #dl #dl rant #diabolik lovers rant #rant post

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diavovulating · 1 month ago

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what are the favourite positions of the diabolik lovers boys in the bedroom? (18+)

WARNING: this content is not suited for minor readers, my work is suited for an 18+ audience.

the reader is portrayed as AFAB, if you are not comfortable with this type of content, please scroll away.

this is the website you can check in case you are unfamiliar with some of these positions.

the sakamakis

shuu: the cowgirl enjoyer. as you might be aware, his slothful tendencies reflect in his sexual preferences as well. even though shuu has the physical capabilities to fully over-power you, he prefers to watch you put in the effort with half-lidded eyes as you struggle to take his girthy cock while being on top of him. this way it’s much easier for him to watch your boobs jiggle and fully grab into your ass cheeks. two other positions that he enjoys are reverse-cowgirl and facesitting, his efforts continuing to be minimal at best. there are certain moments when he might find the ambition to unexpectedly fuck you hard and fast, just to surprise you.

reiji: the missionary classist. he tends to be a practical lover as his schedule is often overpacked by his responsibilities regarding the household & his bratty brothers. pay you no mind, he prefers sex sessions that are long and throughout; his preference for bondange takes time and patience, including the after-care as well. reiji enjoys this position as it allows him to fully dominate you while tending to his sadistic nature, studying your expressions while pounding hard into you. legs in the air and chef are two other positions that he prefers, especially in his laboratory as you tend to disrupt his experiments too damn often.

laito: the yin-yang lover. laito’s primordial urge for mutual desire is fully satisfied by this position focused on the pleasure offered by reciprocated oral sex. he knows how to use his tongue in order to make your whole body tremble, which makes him crave his own release as well. and there is no better place to cum than inside your mouth, except for your pussy or asshole. he is a romantic with a libido the size of an elephant that loves to experiment in the bedroom; he likes using toys, and he won’t shy away from getting pegged, since it brings him a lot of pleasure in positions such as doggystyle or spiderman.

kanato: the spooning adorer. to your surprise, kanato’s urges tend to outweigh the ones of his older brothers as he has the stamina of a rabbit. the easiest way of calming his sexual tantrums down is by cuddling with you in his matrimonial bed between the fluffy pillows while slowly easing his dripping cock into your tight hole. he loves whispering sweet, almost haunting nothings into your ear while doing so. two other positions that completely satisfy him are lazy doggy and splitting bamboo since he is a freak that enjoys having full-control over your body as he pounds into you like a rabid dog.

ayato: the doggystyle fraud. despite the preference that ayato verbalizes too often about big breasts, there is just something about pounding into your fat ass from the back that nearly makes him cum within the first 30 seconds of sex. this position allows him to indulge into many things: pulling your hair, slapping your ass, biting into your shoulder and grabbing your jiggling tits from behind. fully dominating you is what feeds his ego the most - the only thing bigger than his thick dick. eagle and cowgirl are two other positions that he likes to switch up to as he doesn’t like to stay bored. always expect multiple rounds from him.

subaru: the cradle denier. there are many things that subaru isn’t willing to admit into his long ass life, and one of them is the way he likes to hold into your body while pounding mercilessly into your heated pussy. he has the physical strength to do so and there is no one to stop him. he also won’t admit that doing it in front of a mirror and watching your expressions brings him the most sexual satisfaction there possibly is. he likes oasis and spooning, since he won’t admit to his softer tendencies, yet they’d always be reflected in the way he fucks you with an undying passion.

the mukamis

ruki: the seashell admirer. one thing to be kept in mind regarding ruki’s favourite position is the way he gets to fully watch you succumbing into submission as he fucks you through and through. your trembling legs resting on his shoulders bring a slight proud smirk to his usual calm demeanour. the way your body shivers under his touch is the biggest tell you give him when you are about to cum. ruki loves to have control all over your mind and body, seeing you fully embrace his dominance is what brings him to the edge. two other positions that he likes are london bridge and doggystyle as he can pound into you from a deeper angle.

kou: the slope performer. there are many things that kou enjoys most, and one of them is putting on a show, especially in the bedroom. a mirror sitting across the bed would fulfil his fantasy as you get to see the way he pounds into you from upside-down. the psychological thrill that you must endure during this sexual position pushes him to the edge as you get to experiment things through your reflected-self. there are two other positions that satisfy his needs, those being anaconda and cowgirl. he tends to lean onto the playful side in the bedroom as he cannot help himself.

yuuma: the full nelson addict. now this is where things get fun for this big, short-tempered vampire. yuuma is the type of guy that won’t shy away from using his whole strength in the bedroom, therefore the need to lift you up by his toned arms and deeply pound-wrestle you is completely inevitable. this position allows him to have all the control that he craves so badly. shivers crawl down your spine knowing that he could snap you like a twig in just a second. this position gives him perfect access to bite into your shoulder as well. he won’t shy away from other positions like wheelbarrow or butterfly where he can also adjust the depth of his trusts into you.

azusa: the lotus worshiper. even though azusa is the type of lover that prefers to focus more on the intimacy behind sex, he could never deny that this type of position allows him to fully succumb into the warmth of your pussy. he loves facing you, and watching the way you receive your pleasure. he is willing to do anything in order to satisfy you, especially having you inflict pain upon him. that is what he craves most. two other positions that he likes are lazy doggy and 69. he prefers longer sessions of making love which often end up with a knife pressed against his throat as you get bitten by his sharp fangs in return.

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animeyanderelover · 11 months ago

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Can I get yandere sakamaki and mukami (I think that's their name) with a male reader who once were their friends, (during that time, they hide their feelings) but they accidentally kill him and one day they met him. After he was reincarnated and the moment they met is the same how they once first met

Example : reader met Shu in the garden, Shu will met reader when he is in the garden as well!

Tw: Yandere themes, possessive behavior, obsession, paranoia, stalking, clinginess, violence, sadism, delusional mindset, isolation, abduction, manipulation, clinginess, hallucination, mentions of self-harm in Azusa's part, male reader

We meet once more...

Sakamaki Shu

🎵Just why had you been so adamant on leaving him that day in favor of pursuing your dreams? Yes, you had promised him to return to him in a few years time yet your words had sounded shallow in his ears. The argument that followed is something his mind forces him to replay even decades later. Normally the both of you had never been the type to let your emotions get the better of you but something about your words had irked him and his words had agitated you. As the emotions had risen higher both of you had gotten physical with each other as the argument escalated. It's when you had turned around with barely suppressed anger and concluded this conversation to be over that Shu had snapped. He had underestimated his own strength in that moment as he had pushed you, his ears ringing with wrath he had been feeling in the moment. Your body, only human and unable to handle his unexpected outburst of strength, flew down the stairs before you hit your head with a sickening crack on the ground, laying there motionlessly all whilst the blood created a bloody hallow around your head.

🎵Everything that even remotely reminds him of you has been removed from his life since then as he's unable to bear the emotions he's feeling whenever he lays eyes on something that triggers past memories. Shu completely withdraws himself from the memories of you in an attempt to cope with the pain yet there is no relief for him. He sees you in his sleep, sees you every time he closes his eyes. In one moment you are smiling, in the next he sees your limp body as his mind reminds him that it is his fault that you are dead. It's his loss of control that ended your life and it is from that day on that Shu decides to completely suppress all of his emotions as he deems feelings as something that will only lead to bad decisions. With the complete isolation from feeling comes the loss of any interest and motivation as Shu grows indifferent to anything that is happening around him. He blends out the world around him as he lives seclusively in his own world where the only loyal companions he has are music and the haunting memories of you.

🎵It starts raining on that night as he is lying on a bench in a park yet he doesn't care as cold raindrops hit his equally cold skin. Blue eyes lazily stare at the grey sky before he closes them, blending the sound of the rain out by listening to some music as he closes his eyes. Instantly his inner vision is filled with memories of you, a familiar bittersweet ache grasping his dead heart. He doesn't notice when the raindrops stop hitting him, he only notices when someone grasps his shoulders and shakes him carefully. His heightened senses, previously submerged in a world only he knows, return to him as he hears over the music he is blasting into his ears a voice calling out to him, his nostrils flaring up as he picks up another scent next to the smell of fresh water pouring out of the sky. A hauntingly familiar smell. He cracks open his eyes yet his vision remains filled with the sight of your face looking down on him worried, an umbrella shielding him and you from the onslaught of rain. His heart starts quivering as blue eyes gaze upon you as emotions he swore to burrow reanimate. A hand instinctively shoots out to grab you by the shoulder and keep you in place, his grip slightly shaky. You... How are you...?

Sakamaki Reiji

☕You've always been impressed with him. Reiji is a walking library personified and you have always sought out his help when you were struggling with your own research. Reiji had taken it up on himself for that very same reason to take you under his wing and teach you about everything as he helped you with your own studies, needing you to be on the same level as him to be a worthy partner. Deep down he just loved the praise and attention you gave him for his impressive knowledge, something he had never gotten from his own mother. One day he took you to the mansion, to his own room as he had been working on a science project and had wanted you to see the final results. A few minutes. He had only left you alone for a few minutes to fetch some documents when he had heard an explosion which had rang louder in his ears due to his heightened senses. The sound had come from his room. An acidic smell had filled his room when he had arrived, the aroma stinging his eyes with water. Maybe, just maybe, the sight of your lifeless body on the ground had been another reason, your face deformed as you had been standing right above the test tubes when the chemical reaction had occured.

☕Over the years Reiji has done all that he could to downplay his own emotions. After all all had been your fault for getting too curious and playing around with his set. He had warned you to not touch anything unless he was there with you so your death had merely been a result of your own stupidity. Yet the occasional snicker of people like Ayato or Laito has always gotten more under his skin than it should have as they sometimes joke about the scientific accident on that day. After all their older brother who has always portrayed himself as the smartest person of them all had been careless enough to let such an accident happen. Perhaps it is the perfectioniest housing inside of him that starts considering their words more and more. Could he have done more on that day to prevent this from happening? He starts considering this question more in quieter moments and painful realisation hits him when he does come up with ideas that could have prevented you from dying on that day. Why didn't he think of those ideas earlier? He's never able to live this failure down and deep down it shakes up his core beliefs.

☕He's in the library that day to borrow a new staple of books that have just recently been published. Normally he doesn't like going under humans that much and this library is an especially sore spot for him. Even if it has gone through some major changes over the decades, this is the place where he met you so long ago for the first time. He despises the feelings that always threaten to pour out of him when he is in this place so he hurries up to get all those books. Just as he is about to walk away with all of them in his arms though, a familiar scent invades his nostrils, one that has his brain short-circuiting for a brief moment. Then a pouty voice fills his ears, complaining how you wanted to borrow these books as well for your upcoming studies in college. His head wipes around, pink eyes narrowing in disbelief and shock as he sees a spitting image of you standing behind him, the same sulky expression on your face that you used to always give him. You're startled when he drops the pile of books and swiftly walks over to you, his glare antagonising you as gloved hands suddenly grab your face and pull you closer to scrutinise your features better. How is this possible?

Sakamaki Ayato

🥇Ayato always wanted and needed to have it his way. That is something you were familiar with with passing time. Here and there the two of you did get into arguments but it never really escalated as you were somewhat forced to take on the role of the calmer person due to Ayato's aggressive behavior at times. He liked having you with him all the time, showing you off as if you were a priced possession of his. In a way you were as Ayato deeply loved you and he couldn't have cared less about the fact that the both of you were the same gender. As long as he kept on being the best he could have whatever he wanted after all in his mind. It was his forceful and aggressive temper that ultimately led to your death though as you had started making friends with new people, something he couldn't have despised more. A shouting match between the two of you where he demanded from you to drop those pathetic friends of yours, a violent hit to your head as you dared to stand up properly against him for the first time since your friendship had started and a dull thud as your body fell to the ground, eyes glossy with the unmistakable haze of death. Why do you humans have to be so fragile?

🥇None of this is his fault! He didn't do anything wrong! Those are words he constantly yells at his brothers as soon as he even thinks that they're trying to bring the incident up to him. It's all your fault for being so stupid to go against him! You-you should have known better than going against his demands... No matter how often he repeats those accusations, no matter how loud he yells them at someone, they never get through to him as his heart remains unconvinced. Unconsciously he is probably aware that he is at least partially responsible for your death as he should have been better at controlling his own strength yet it is his own arrogance and pride that doesn't allow his mind this realisation. The following decades he tries desperately to feed into his own ego by picking up hobby after hobby, especially ones involving physical activity to master them and convince himself that it wasn't his own lack of control over his own body that was to blame on your death. Yet still he finds himself constantly turning around, green eyes searching for you when he scores a goal or masters a sport only to be reminded that you are dead as his mood instantly worsens.

🥇Sometimes Ayato finds himself still approaching a certain place that remains special in his heart. An abandoned building at the edge of town that has decayed over the years only more. It's a place where he met you for the first time many years ago and both of you used to play around here though he would always win against you and puff out his chest whilst proclaiming himself to be the best. He's been avoiding the ruined building ever since your death but in the last few years he has occasionally found himself walking down the streets to stare at it from outside the rusty fences. It is the sound of a ball being kicked against the walls that peaks his curiosity and his eyes suddenly narrow. This is his special place even though he hasn't entered in decades... Who dares to tread on it? He effortlessly climbs up the fences though he initially hesitates to step on the property again. His eyes are able to pick up the sight of the intruder from this high though, someone who looks very familiar. You on the other hand nearly jump out of your skin when he storms over to you and grabs you by the hem of your shirt. Is this a fucking joke?? If it is, he is everything but amused!

Sakamaki Kanato

🧸Kanato has attached himself to you from the moment you gained his obsessive interest. After all besides Teddy he had no one else in his life so he was ecstatic and giddy to have finally found someone who could care for him and spend time with him. It has never been easy to deal with Kanato and his explosive and highly sensitive emotions. The worst thing that came out of it was the isolation that came with being Kanato's victim of obsession. A situation that had always been very dangerous turned into pure peril when he threatened to kill the person you had recently gotten close too, clutching his plushie tightly against his chest as he did so. Why would you betray him like this in the first place? He thought that you were happy with him... Isn't he more than enough for you? You're so greedy and selfish!! Your mistake on that day was trying to reason with him even though no logic would have worked on Kanato on that moment as the accusations piled up. You didn't love him! You wanted to leave him! He didn't want that... He didn't want to be left alone... That's why he killed you on that day in a frenzy as his hysteria got the better of him and stabbed you to death.

🧸He kept your corpse and pretended that you were still alive until the scent of rotting flesh threatened to shatter his sanity and he had to burn you. Unable to live without you though he instantly created a life-sized doll of yours and dressed it up with the clothes he still had of you so that it would even smell like you. Everything continued as if you were still there as his brain couldn't accept the reality that you had died and that he had been the one who had done it. Yes, in death they couldn't take you away from him but he hadn't considered in the moment of hysteria that he couldn't have you anymore either. As if to brush over this moment as if it had never happened he acted like you were still alive as he held tea parties and wheeled the puppet around the mansion, even taking you to meals where he tried to feed you. None of his other brothers spoke up and mentioned his deteriorating mental health as Kanato's mind created the delusion that you were still there as he even hallucinated that the puppet was speaking to him and answering his question. It was all a delicate delusion though that needed not to be shattered under any circumstances or else he would snap and turn into a maniac.

🧸Nothing has happened. You were never gone. A protective shield for his mind to not completely shut down. He's currently outside in a field of flowers as the moon shines in the sky, collecting some bouquets for the next tea party he plans to hold at midnight with you again. When he looks up though, he lets out a strangled sound when his eyes land on your form walking relaxed around outside, a cookie in your mouth as you hold a packet filled with sweets you just bought in town. For a short moment there is a crushing dread of realisation threatening to shatter him yet his mind pulls up its walls in the last moment. Cold hands grasp your own and you nearly get a heart attack as you turn around only to see a pale and sick-looking man standing right behind you, asking you with a trembling voice what you are doing outside. Both of you are about to have a tea party and you were supposed to wait for him. Then his eyes land on the packet of sweets which you dropped on the ground. If you wanted new sweets you could have just told him instead of leaving without his permission... Well, he'll punish you later. For now the both of you should return to the mansion.

Sakamaki Laito

🎹Laito saw the fact that the both of you are of the same gender not as a hurdle and more like a new and exciting adventure waiting to be uncovered by him. After all he truly couldn't care less about what gender you are. He's just taking it for what it is and goes for what he desires without any hesitation. Though he does understand that the time period the both of you are living in wasn't very accepting of couples of the same sex at the time. He didn't need their approval though as all he would have really needed to do was whisk you away and keep you in the mansion where hw ould have been able to do whatever he desired to do with you. Jealousy had already led him to kill people his mother had taken as temporary lovers and it was jealousy that fueled the crime of him murdering your secret lover and by accident you as well when he found out that you had kept the relationship a secret from him though the way you had reeked of someone else had given it away. He hadn't intended to stab you but when you had tried to fight against him to defend your already half-dead lover, he accidentally drove the knife right through your heart.

🎹To this day he still blames your lover for your death. He didn't let them touch you when you bled out on the ground as he stomped on their hand and broke all their bones in it, didn't listen to their pleas as he had twirled the knife around in his hand with a new icy ire burning in his green eyes and he didn't even stop torturing them long after their heart had stopped beating. Initially Laito simply tried to dismiss his feelings for you now that you were gone and tried to move on. He whored around with other people from women to men to everything else as if to convince himself that perhaps his feelings for you hadn't been anything special to begin with as it might have been simply a fleeting moment of excitement and ecstasy yet his mind always drifts to you whenever his tongue is in the mouth of someone else. There is a sick feeling in his stomach whenever he undresses someone or his current companion touches him suggestively and he gets no pleasure and relief whenever he fucks someone for as soon as the moment of ecstasy passes by his mind is overcome with a disgust he didn't know he could feel. Temporary freedom only lasts for a few seconds before he's back where he started.

🎹On that night he finds himself going once again through all pubs in town in search for those few seconds of blissful forgetfullness, a dangerous addiction he has developed to escape from the clutches of disgust and guilt. The smell of alcohol is especially bitter when he hits up the bar where he met you nearly half a century ago, green eyes darting around in search of his next victim. That's when his eyes are drawn to a figure sitting alone on the counter and from behind their silhoutte reminds him painfully much of you. His feet move on their own as he steps closer to the counter and the closer he gets, the more a sweet fragrance of blood invades his nose and mind. Green eyes narrow as he lays a hand on the shoulder of the person who turns around surprised when feeling his palm. For the first time in his life Laito is unable to come up with a witty reply as he stares into your face, in disbelief at who he is looking at. His grip subconsciously tightens on your shoulder as if not wanting to let you go and it is only when you let out an uncomfortable wince that he snaps out of it. A smooth grin covers up his shock as he slides down the sit next to you, green eyes gleaming with a predatory glint as he offers to order you a few more drinks.

Sakamaki Subaru

⬜Subaru has always considered himself to be an unwanted monster that would only hurt the people he cares about which is why he has closed his heart so that he may never get attached to anyone only to be reminded of how unwanted he really is. It's painful for him to see how you slowly peel him out of his shell as emotions he has troubles to properly grasp bloom inside of him. It is all so agonising, confusing and somewhere in between that it is even a bit beautiful yet he is wavering, unsure whether to trust you with his heart. He should have never trusted you to begin with. Of course you wouldn't want him. The pain and heartbreak that assaults him the moment he finds out that you have already a lover and plan to propose to them tear his heart out of his chest and the sheer agony that comes with it has him entering a screaming rage he cannot control. His vision is simmering red as his wrath takes over and has him lashing out. His hands are coated with blood, your blood, when he comes to his senses only to be plunged into his next despair as he realises that he lost complete control and killed not only your lover but also you.

⬜The stench of blood never leaves his hands nor does the sickening warm and sticky feeling of it. He swears that it's still there, reeking and reminding him that he truly is a monster destined to kill anyone important to him. Sometimes he spends an hour washing and rubbing his hands until they are raw to clean himself of that cursed smell and feeling yet it is a mark that stays with him to remind him of his grave sin. Subaru withdraws himself completely from the outside for a while and hides in his room, locks himself away as if thinking that he is a beast that has to be put behind bars. He most likely thinks that he is. The agony and the grief comes in periods. Sometimes he manages to push it all down so that only his heart is aching and sometimes the walls break into pieces and the flood of emotions bursts out of him. Hot and salty tears cascade down his cheeks as a scream of anguish escapes his lips as furniture is shattered and walls receive cracks as he violently punches around him until he calms down and sits in the destruction his anger has caused with dull eyes.

⬜Sometimes he even neglects taking care of the roses in the garden, his confidence to care for things weaker than him utterly shattered as he thinks of himself as incapable of even nurturing the flowers. It takes him time until he slowly starts picking up this hobby of his again though he remains distant and cold to everyone else around him, his roses the only thing he seems to care about anymore. Sometimes he visits a florist in town to buy some new buds to plant into the garden of the mansion, although he always hurries with his shopping as this shop brings back too many memories. It is there though that his heart blossoms once again because as soon as he walks in he spots you arranging flowers into bouquets, your eyes meeting his as you greet him cheerfully. He stops right there, his body no moving a muscle as if subconsciously afraid that as soon as he moves, he'll do something terrible. His emotions leave him trembling as he can't help the stinging tears threatening to escape his eyes all whilst you give him a concerned look as he feels his control slowly slipping away from him. Shit! Why after all of this time?

Mukami Ruki

📘Ruki has always liked to give you more trust due to the fact that you were also a man as he had lost faith in the loyalty of women after his own mother left his father and him for another man, leading inevitably to the downfall of his life. You were supposed to be better than this... You weren't supposed to also leave him behind... Yet his world is shaken when it is revealed to him that you have accepted an apprenticeship far away from the town he is residing in with his other brothers, oblivious to his own horror as you deliver him the news whilst looking so excited. Are you really so selfish that you would prioritise your own dreams over him? All Ruki wanted was to prevent you from leaving, all he intended to do was to weaken your body with drugs so that you wouldn't be able to take the long journey to the new town. A twinge of paranoid fear caused him to put in too much of the drugs into your food though as he wanted to be sure that they'd do their job which led him to give you an overdose that ultimately led to your death.

📘Responsibilities have always rested on his shoulders as he is essentially the leader of the Mukami brothers and so he intends to focus on his duties instead of taking the time to mourn. He tells himself that he shouldn't mourn a person who wanted to abandon him in the first place and that you probably never loved him to begin with yet even to the eyes of his brothers it is obvious that Ruki is suffering. As soon as they attempt to console them though he shuts them up as he insists with a slightly clenched jaw that he is completely fine and that they are worried over nothing. On the inside he feels like he is rotting away though and as much as he tries to push that thought away, the emptiness that is crying out inside of him becomes harder to blend out until one day Ruki breaks down for a moment, leaving the rest of his brothers to care for him on that day as he just spends his time being a mess before he shakily puts himself together the next day, making all of his brothers swear that they never mention your name again nor his outburst.

📘For decades no one in the mansion mentions your name and Ruki continuously tells himself that this is for the best as he wants to bury you in the past. There is no remedy for the bittersweet memories though that have been haunting him ever since your death nor for the slimy dread that clings to him whenever he realises that it is his own fault that you died. He's on the other side of the street when he happens to glance over to the other side, staring through the windows of a pharmacy that has been there since nearly 200 years. He remembers the place very well since he met you there for the first time and he remembers the place well because he purchased the ingredients for the drug that ultimately killed you in the same store. In there everything began and also ended. Truly poetic, isn't it? It's not his memories that cause him to stop though as he stares at the pharmacy. It's the sight of a familiar figure that has his body pausing and his throat tightening. He's rushing over to the store in the next second, almost experiencing a tunnel vision as he can only focus on you. He slams the package of pills you've purchased right out of your hands, visions of your dead body haunting him.

Mukami Kou

🎤Kou has never really given much of a care that both of you were of the same gender. He's been sexually explored by other people as a young child and for that knows firsthand of the evil that others carry in their hearts, regardless of their sex. It's his ability to see through the true heart of people that has him enamored with you as he realises that you have a pure heart which allows him to give you his full trust. One day though you confess to him that your parents have become aware of your friendship with him, precisely of Kou's feelings for you which you remain oblivious to at the moment and have threatened to disinherit you if you do not distance yourself from him. That is when Kou makes a plot to get rid of your parents as he won't tolerate anyone to get in the way of him and you. All was carefully planned out. He'd lure you away before setting your parents house on fire at night so that they'd die in there yet you figure his plan out. The words you yell at him that night before rushing into the burning house will haunt him forever as you admit that you wish you'd never met him before you try to save your parents only to die together with them.

🎤He could have stopped you. He should have stopped you. You were only a human after all whilst he is a vampire. It's your words that completely froze him though and disabled him to work properly as his mind went into numbing shock after having heard your words. He wanted you to take those words back yet you died in the fire and left those words that told him that he was unwanted by you as an eternal curse that has been sticking with him ever since. Those words echo inside his head and for the first years following your death they drag him down into a hysteric depression. He cannot go to sleep at all as your disappointed and angered face haunts his vision, your voice telling him that he is someone you never wished to have met over and over again so that he wakes up not even half an hour after he has gone to bed, in tears and babbling incoherent words. He writes a lot of songs about you but never finishes them as he either draws a blank and starts breaking down in tears or rips them apart as his emotions get the better of him. Not even his brothers can help to piece his broken self together.

🎤He's sitting outside on that day, dull eyes observing a lake where the both of you used to hang out often back when you were still alive. He's on his own, something he hasn't been in decades as he hasn't left the mansion since your death and was too broken to be on his own which left his brothers no choice but look out more for him. There is nothing in particular on his mind as he gazes at the lake until a melody catches his ears. Normally he would have just blended it out like he has done music a lot in those years since your death yet there is something very familiar as he listens as someone plays the strings of the guitar. That's a melody you always used to play... Suddenly it's like someone lit a fire under him as he jumps up, eyes flying over the field surrounding the lake until he covers a small figure also sitting here, playing on a guitar they brought with them. Initially he wants to demand from where they know that melody as this is something that only belonged to you and for that shouldn't be played by anyone else but poisonous words die down when he catches a better sight of them and realises that it is you. He stands there motionlessly, listening to the song as tears start to escape his eyes.

Mukami Yuma

🌱Yuma has been sceptical about the whole situation from the moment he found out that he had feelings for you. Not necessarily because the both of you were men as he had always been an outcast and would have been considered that all the more if the humans would have figured out that he was now also a vampire. It was more the aspect of being in love that made him somewhat doubtful as he had quite an iffy mindset about it all. You didn't know at that time that he was a vampire and he knew what the rest of the village you lived in thought of creatures of the night. Who was to tell that you wouldn't try to cast him out in the name of god as well if you were to discover his true nature? Unfortunately that was exactly what happened and your reaction was as fearful as expected as you instantly tried to get away from him. He tried to explain it to you, tried to get you to listen but you had been indoctrinated with the same nonsense all other villagers believed in. Shut up... He just wanted you to shut up for a moment as he pressed his hands over your mouth, applying too much pressure and accidentally breaking more than just a few bones that were the reason for your death.

🌱It was on that day that he became aware just how much stronger he had gotten since he had been turned into a vampire as he held your limp body in his arms. He doesn't want to be consoled by any of his brothers though as he turns around or growls at them to shut up as soon as he senses that they want to talk with him about the accident. Yuma doesn't try to blame anyone else for this though as he acknowledges that this is solely his fault. Your reaction was to be expected and he should have known best just how much strength he possessed. There is no chance he wants to give himself to grieve though. He has never openly bemoaned anyone before and for that he doesn't quite know how to do so. Instead he spends a lot of time in his garden and tends to his vegetables and plants, though he can't help but always be reminded that those fragile things could be even easier ripped apart by his hands than you were. Yuma needs a long time until finally he starts cracking as he has just tried to bear the sorrow up until that point and even he is startled by the silent tears that drip down his face without any warning.

🌱There are some pretty cherry blossom trees in a forest near the city and they have been there even longer than the village built nearby. Yuma visits them once a year when the pink and delicate flowers are in full bloom, a little tradition he has been carrying on even if you have been gone for over a century now. Some of the pink petals rain down on him on that night as he walks through the little valley of the trees, the fresh scent of the blossoming flowers an aroma that surrounds the entire place. At this late at night it is rather rare for people tos visit this place which is why he is mildly annoyed when he catches sight of someone sneaking around, his mood instantly ruined as he wanted to have a peaceful stroll for himself. Until a breeze passes through the forest, carrying next to the scent of cherry blossoms another aroma with it. His previously worsened mood is instantly replaced with shocked disbelief as he instantly recognises that smell. It only takes him a few large strides to close the distance between him and the other person. He suddenly appears behind you like a large and looming shadow, his eyes narrowed as he grabs one of your arms to prevent you from running.

Mukami Azusa

🔪Azusa has never had the courage to tell you about his growing feelings for you. Yes, he has always been very clingy and attached to you but he has been like this even when his feelings for you were still largely platonic. His behavior did increase though when a different kind of love started blossoming inside of him. Truly, he doesn't care about who his darling is as long as he feels comforted and safe in their presence which is precisely what you give him. Perhaps if he would have found the courage to confess to you things would have turned out differently as he instead has to bear witness how someone else confesses their love to you before he does. He wants to plead you to not accept but his tongue feels like it has turned to led as he instead has to watch how you accept their confession and start a relationship with them. All he intended to do was to threaten your partner a bit yet they had to start acting so rudely and hurt his own feelings whilst flaunting that you only loved them before he started attacking them. You had heard the noises inside the house, tried to stop him and ended up taking the fatal blow.

🔪His brothers find him sitting in the bloody mess of two corpses, his own body clinging to yours as he keeps on begging you to wake up again, whispering you that your now cold skin terrifies him just as much as the vacant expression in your eyes. They have to tear him carefully away from your body, something Azusa can only object weakly to as he begs his brothers to not separate you from him. He loses all will to live for a while as he asks his brothers shakily if they could stab him in the same place where he stabbed you, tears in his eyes as he admits that he was the one who killed you and even if his brothers do try to console him and tell him that it was a terrible accident, Azusa is inconsolable. He's closely monitored for a long time as his older brothers all fear that he might try to harm himself somehow. Azusa himself withdraws himself from reality as he spends most of the time hidden under his blanket, rarely getting up and not speaking for months. The only sounds he makes are those of silent sobs, the tears never seeming to dry off no matter how much and how long he cries quietly.

🔪It takes him years before he gathers the strength to leave the mansion again and whilst he avoids the place where he took your life vehemently, he finds himself often returning to the location where he met you for the first time in an attempt to think of the happy memories. It's a random alleyway where you found him for the first place and offered ro bandage his wounds he had inflicted on himself on that day. As if hoping that you'll return if he does it again, Azusa often cuts himself in the same alleyway before sitting down and waiting there, looking like a wet cat with no place to return to. Some people do approach him but he ignores them since none of them are you and if they bother him too much normally all it takes is a rather dangerous look in his eyes and the flash of his knife for them to disappear. Then one day you do appear though, 80 years after your death and Azusa can barely believe what he is looking at as you ask him worriedly if he needs some band-aids for his cuts. In the next moment he is suddenly clinging to your legs, tears dropping down his eyes as he sobs out apologies for an accident you do not know of.

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