#laios ass post i know

[rebisgender]

I can’t believe I have brain worms over a living armor mollusk (from dunmeshi) society. they would most likely be a culture of blacksmiths and mercenaries, and chances are they would communicate via sign language or or maybe telepathy if they somehow learn to utilize magic. but I need to know more. Can they leave the armor? does it have to be metal? how do they eat? I need to know more.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Laios's three Boy Best Friends. And yes, they hate him.

[nejackdaw]

Keep thinking about Dungeon Meshi not bc I know anything about it but bc of what I've seen on my for you. Like. I thought Laios was gonna be the cook because he wants to eat all the monsters but I guess that's Senshi??? He really wants to eat a specific soup again and sometimes he has horns and sometimes he doesn't (this is usually tagged "halfling" what is he. I thought he was a goat man. But sometimes he isn't??? Are the horns fake) There's an elf lady and I can never remember her name but she's gay with Laios's sister and always seems annoyed with him but in a hater friends kind of way. Speaking of haters my fucking favorite is the cabbage patch kid that's actually a divorced 47 year old father of three. He's the party rogue and every gene in his body is the Hater Gene. Laios and his sister get turned into birds but then un-birded and this fixes her shitty eyes. I am experiencing this manga/show through random posts on Tumblr and it's delightful. I think I should watch it

Edit: oh my god the horns are just on his hat. Except I forgot he wears a hat so they just got put on his head in my brain. Nvm I've connected the dots

[ace-trainer-risu]

I received this kinda out-of-the-blue message from a guy that I went to high school with and it was very nice but basically boiled down to like "I'm sorry if I bullied you" which is nice and all but I frankly remember him as having been a perfectly nice and decent dude and its like, hey wait, was I too socially awkward to even notice I was being bullied???

Ah...youth....or something like that.........

[hhoneyhams]

Full Count - Modern Laios/F!Reader

Word Count: ~2.7k

Features: lots of inappropriate uses of company time (ahem), closet sex, destruction of store property, technical difficulties, and pizza 'n soda for morale! It also gets a little sappy at one point, yippee!

Warnings: SMUT!! 18+ ONLY!! ESRB RATED M FOR MATURE (Technically A/O but who uses that anymore?? )

Content Warning: Unprotected sex, public sex, and cream pies

The reader has female genitalia and is human. I tried to keep all other descriptions/pronouns to a minimum.

Author's Note: Shout out to @toxycodone for making the post that inspired this whole thing! Minimum wage worker Laios is a darling idea, but thinking about him working in a video game and collectible store just stole my HEART! I'd let him tell me all about his D&D campaign and his most recent Skyrim run any day 🖤

“--have a good night!” you call out to a departing customer. As the door shuts behind them, you turn off the neon ‘open’ sign and begin your closing duties. 

Instead of wiping down the windows and letting the shutters down, you were handed pencils and two printed-off sheets of paper attached to clipboards.

“You and Laios go do the pre-owned and new console count, I’ll see what I can do about the internet before the night is over,” your boss sighs, pulling out their phone to make some calls. Your eyes meet Laios’ as he pauses what he is doing on the sales floor to make his way to the area behind the registers.

“The internet went down?”

“I think that storm knocked it out earlier…” you theorize, handing him the other pencil and clipboard. “We were having trouble over here with the POS and cards.”

“Oh, it's down-down then,” the blond confirms. You grab your second soda can of the night and your keys to the back room. He follows suit after he takes another piece of pizza, cold and tough from airing out on the counter. “That’s lame.” 

Taking care of a count by hand is nothing for you, but using your extra hours to redo a count isn’t your idea of a fun Friday night. The day of full-count inventory for your store was quickly looming, the internet going out another hurdle in the way of your freedom.

The two of you lock yourselves into the back. You open the side closet that holds both sets of consoles to count. The closet wasn’t cramped, but you were a bit cozy in there. Various gaming consoles lined the walls and were stacked along the floors.

You and Laios were rarely scheduled together, but you always enjoyed yourselves when you were. You met him at a staff meeting shortly after he started at the store. The whole night you had ended up talking about everything from dungeon-crawler games to Dungeons and Dragons, to even discussing the potential of getting some friends together to do a joint playthrough of one of his favorite games in the Monster Hunter series.

It isn’t a secret that you find him attractive. Your other co-workers poke fun at how you clam up around him. You’re just content with listening to him ramble, unlike some of the others. 

Usually, people don’t last at this job long enough for you to get attached, but you know you’d be a little sad to see him go. 

Your phone vibrates in your pocket with a text from your manager. Laios’ phone has been forgotten somewhere out front so he glances over your shoulder to read the text:

‘Going home. Finish the count and lock up when you’re done. Someone should be bringing us a router from another store tomorrow.’

Leave it to a manager to have you clean up their mess…

“Shit, why do we still have to do this then? I mean, if we’re just going to be back up and running tomorrow morning, why stay late and see if everything is there?” you vent to Laios, setting the clipboard down on the ground and flopping straight onto your ass. “They can’t even see if we’re actually doing this, so why not fudge these numbers and go home early…”

“Well, think of it this way,” he begins, sitting down beside you and settling his clipboard neatly in his lap. “They can’t see that we’re sitting down and taking care of it!” He begins to scan along the consoles sitting on the floor, marking off each console he finds by the serial number.

He was so content with the mundane that it hurt. He was a real ‘yes, ma’am’ ‘no, sir’ kind of worker, always coming to work with a smile on his face.

You felt like a bad influence every time you worked with him…

Your other coworker, Kabru, always makes it known just how much he wants to choke Laios during their shifts together. Something was very endearing to you about how dedicated he could be to a part-time position like this.

You joined him…and continued your work on the floor.

“--so our DM, right? This guy-”

“Our district manager or your dungeon master?”

“Oh, dungeon master, got mad at me for rolling SUPER high on a perception check and went after my sister’s character for it. So our next session is going to be us trying to get her back from a dragon. We’ve got to take some time off because we lost a couple of people but I’m ready to throw down next time!” he says, determination in his voice. You give him a smile in response, your mind pretty occupied by the task at hand. 

He continues to prattle on excitedly about some of the other escapades his party took place in as you counted the rest of everything that you could whilst sitting on the floor. You were always scared of whatever googly-eyed look you’d give him as you listened intently, so you would usually throw yourself into your work as he talked.

He was kind of like a big, hunky podcast or something…

“Alright, we’ve gotta get up now…” you huff, slowly getting up by grabbing onto one of the wire shelves for support. The hard linoleum floor was not doing you any favors in the comfort department and cut off the circulation to your legs.

You stumble forward and fall on top of Laios, jerking down the shelf you held onto for support, and flinging some of the handhelds onto the floor with you. His strong hands catch you around your middle so you don’t bang your heads against each other. 

A shot of heat rushes through you, embarrassment flushing your face and the telltale signs of butterflies blooming in your belly.

Were you really that touch-starved?

“There goes the Switches, 3 if you need to write it down,” he points out, not making any moves to let go of you as he does so. You settle down in his hands and look over your shoulder to see if he is actually right. 

You’ll have to test those to make sure they still work before you go home…

Laios continued to hold you, almost memorizing the way your body felt under his hands despite the space between the two of you that remained. 

Per your training modules, you knew that physical advances between coworkers were strictly prohibited on the store’s premises. This was clearly an accident, but if the prolonged touching between the two of you said anything, it's that it wasn’t exactly unwanted. 

Laios looks up to the ceiling, the light on the console room’s camera no longer pulsing red like it usually does.

“If the internet is out, the cameras are as well. You can’t get in trouble…”

Your eyes bore into his as you gaped in astonishment.

What is he implying…? 

There are a few beats of silence between the two of you before you close the gap, pressing a heated kiss to his lips and tangling your fingers into his soft shirt. He melted into the kiss, gripping your hips tightly to hold you against him. His lips were slightly chapped and he tasted like the pizza and soda from before.

“I’ve been wanting to shut you up all night,” you mumble, a smile stretching against your lips as you press more kisses against his.

“I thought you liked listening to me!” His tone is genuinely shocked as he says it, taking on a nervous edge like he has done something wrong. You hush him, rolling your eyes.

“I do, but holy shit, you’re so distracting!”

“You’re distracting too!” he fusses, pressing an accusatory finger to your nose playfully. “I’m always trying to get your attention and you never look at me!”

“I’m trying not to give you ‘fuck me’ eyes while you talk about Skyrim!” you confess, swatting his hand away. Telling him causes your cheeks to burn hotter than they have before. 

Suddenly, you feel something (or someone, rather) graze the underside of your rear. Laios’ cock strains against his pants as he looks away from you, his face turning a rather deep red to match the shirt he was wearing. He blushes all the way from the tips of his ears and down his neck.

“You…you want to fuck me?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

It totally wasn’t. Laios didn’t think you liked him that much at all. He would see the way your eyes lit up at certain conversation topics and he did his best to keep your interest, but you always found something to distract yourself with. He’d even resorted to yelling across the store at you as you darted around to straighten up the shelves or stock. You didn’t tell him to shut up like Kabru or Toshiro, but you didn’t engage with him a ton.

He has caught your gaze on a couple of rare occasions, but you would quickly dart your eyes away when you found out that he had noticed. If you were worried about making him uncomfortable, he would have rather known that he wasn’t making you feel that way.

He wanted to make it all up to you. You now know so much about him, but he wanted to take the time to get to know everything about you. He’s heard you talk about your favorite game once or twice, but he wants to know exactly when you played it and why it is your favorite. He wants to know silly stuff, like your favorite Pokémon. He wants to know why you listen to him and why you don’t talk over him or cut him off. He wants to know how long you’ve liked him…

He wants to know why you’re so afraid to look at him…when it's all he ever really wanted. 

His thoughts run wild in his head about everything he wants to know about you, but they go silent the second you go in for another kiss.

Well…He knows you want to fuck him!

Your hands are cold from the store’s A/C, Laios ends up jumping slightly as you drag your hands underneath his shirt and along his back and sides. He lifts his arms up for you to pull the shirt off of him and wraps them back around your body in turn.

It was pretty damn cold in there, though.

In a heat-of-the-moment, split decision, he decides to reposition you so he can pull himself free of his pants. His overactive fingers struggle with the buckle of his belt as he begins to curse. You take over for him as he laughs at himself.

“Sorry, I’m a bit nervous… it's exciting, really! But, holy shit, I’m not used to all of this,” 

You don’t blame him, it's riskier than anything you’ve ever done in your life. You’re working part-time in a game store, your life isn’t remotely exciting enough to have had sex in public, much less at work and ON THE CLOCK.

From his perspective, he just found out that you liked him 5 minutes ago and now you’re pulling his dick out to suck him silly in your store’s console closet. Make it make sense!

Laios lets out a few quiet moans as you run your tongue along his cock, looking him straight in the eye. It’s everything he could have ever asked for, but he’s jumpy and keeping one eye on you and one on the door. You pull away and use the remaining spit to jerk him lazily with one of your hands. His head thrashes to the side and he lets out a low cry. 

“You know we’re still the only ones here…you don’t have to be quiet, Laios,” you simper. He breathes heavily and grabs your shoulder to stop your ministrations.

“We’ve got to be quick, I can’t wait much longer,” he rasps out. His hands begin to pull at your shirt. “I want to see you, please…”

He doesn’t have to tell you twice!

Laios’ eyes and hands are glued to your tits as you ride him, his fingers pinching your nipples as he notes the size and the way they bounce with you. Your body was something else to him, it was so familiar and foreign at the same time. He’d notice your shape, your clothes, and the way they complemented your figure and movement as you worked.

…yeah, you were distracting.

To have that same body held within his hands, wrapping snugly around his cock, crashing onto him and around him…He wonders how he could have gotten so lucky. 

“I’m…I’m standing up, I-I’ve got you,” he grits out, every movement against you bringing him closer and closer to the precipice. You wrap your arms and legs around him tightly, your fingernails digging into the muscles of his back as he hoists you up. You reach between your bodies to help guide him back in. 

He’s hitting at a new angle, pistoning in and out of you without abandon. Your curses and moans are buried into his shoulder as he keens out. His grunts and his sighs go straight into your ear, his encouragement not lost.

“F-fuck, I want you to look at me,” he says breathlessly. You tear your head from his shoulder and do as he requests. His face is red, sweat dripping from his brow, his iris blown black as his eyes dilate, and his jaw is slack as moans tumble from his mouth. His eyes aren’t staying open as he slams into you, his thrusts losing their rhythmic staccato. “Y-you’re amazing, and this is–”

“Laios, I’m s-so close,” you interrupt him, grabbing him and pulling him forward for a kiss. Your moans are rumbling in your throat as he picks up his pace again. You pull away long enough to breathe but find yourself back on his lips once more. 

You grab and hold one of the wire shelves for support, the position being a bit taxing to maintain for the both of you. He goes to warn you not to do it again but your grip and his movement cause the shelf to fall from the wall just like it did last time. You both yell and your body clenches around his, causing him to double over and almost drop you. 

There goes a whole PS4…

“Fuuck, shit, I don’t care, I don’t care, j-just keep going!” you shout, clawing along his back. Everything around you was becoming too much to bear. The sound and feel of your wetness, skin slapping against skin, the sweaty heat cooled by the A/C. You closed your eyes tightly, you focused on the orgasm rising in your belly, you let yourself get closer, and closer, and–

“I’m gonna cum inside you!” Laios announces with a line of drool running from the seam of his lips. He continued splitting you open with his cock, his form was sloppy but he held you so close to him.

Your orgasm ripped through you, causing you to clench against him tightly. Laios fucked you through your release and came shortly after, pressing you down onto himself as he shuddered and groaned. You weren’t sure how the two of you were able to stay upright after that.

Your legs on his back slide down and you hold onto him for support as he slides back out. His pants were still around his ankles, so it was a quick getaway for him to come back with some of the scratchiest brown paper towels your bathroom had to offer.

“T-thanks,” you say, trading his shirt you fished off of the floor for the paper towels. He hums, still pretty dazed. He sits right back in the floor against the wall as you change, watching you almost enraptured as you pull enough clothes on to toddle to the bathroom and finish cleaning up. “That was…something.”

It was something good though.

The rest of the night was spent testing those consoles that fell, just to make sure they weren’t broken. Luckily enough, everything was in working condition, even if the wire shelves remained discarded to the side of the room.

The two of you agreed to just say you clocked out earlier since it was pushing on midnight. You shared the rest of the pizza in the parking lot and drove your separate ways home. After you got inside your apartment, you received a text from Laios:

‘I don’t think we ever finished those counts…’

End Notes: Some of the work stuff is so specific...Don't ask lol

I'm still working on getting more confident with writing smut and oneshots. I've been writing fanfiction for years but it was all super involved multichapters that never went anywhere! Either way, I really hope you enjoyed reading this because I sure as shit enjoyed writing it!! 😎

Minor edits will be made if I find any mistakes and constructive criticism is always appreciated! (Just don’t be an ass about it 👀)

Credits: Dividers by @/cafekitsune, cover art from 'Daydream Hour' scans

🖤 Rules | Ask Box | Masterlist 🖤

[dadsbongos]

how to (unintentionally) drive away a suitor

5.4 k words / warnings - misunderstandings, you're manipulative but in a marriage-seeker way, lame ass exposition dump at the beginning sorry

summary - you go to The Island in hopes of finding a suitor better than what your parents picked, you meet Laios. disaster ensues.

posting while bleaching my hair send hlep ~~~

When you were five, your father’s first hunting dog died. Matilda. A hound mix he praised as if she were his firstborn, and that would sound neglectful if she didn’t feel like your eldest sister. When she died, a true member of the family died. Your child heart exploding out of your little chest with the mosaic of grief ripping you this way and that. It was so ugly, you hadn’t expected to feel that way until your parents or a human sister croaked on you.

It’d also inspired you to do better for yourself than what destiny had in mind. As the youngest in a long line of children, you had little hope of a large inheritance from your well-off father. Instead, you would marry rich and smart and handsome.

Leading you, with a throbbing disinterest in the suitor picked by your parents, to set for The Island in the year 510.

Where you met a very strange man named Laios Touden.

Denial

Month 1 - your first proposition

“We should celebrate with drinks,” you skim a finger along the waistline of his cuirass, “Another dive with no deaths.”

“Oh, yeah,” Laios nods, grinning blandly at you, “You think I could rope Shuro into sticking around this time? He usually skips nights out unless Falin asks.”

“I was thinking something a little more private. Just you and me, maybe?”

“Sure,” suddenly his brows furrow, a serious ridge setting across his lips, “Is there something you need? I know rent in the western part of The Island is starting to go up, do you live there?”

“Laios, I- “ you cut yourself off before reminding him you two live on the same street because a sudden idea strikes you. He’s doing this on purpose. Of course, he is. He’s the type of guy that wants you to actually ask for it, “I mean, if you really want then I guess everyone coming isn’t so bad.”

But two can play at that game.

“Okay, great! I’ll let the party know,” he gives you a thumbs up and turns towards the rest of your group as they pack for the surface.

You watch him wrap an arm around Toshiro and beam at the withdrawn man. You deduce that he’s the type that likes to be chased. Which you feel is a little beneath you, but you’re willing to play a long game as long as he makes it worth your time.

Month 2 - the time you take him to dinner

“This place is so quiet,” Laios murmurs, both hands splayed across the table.

You study his fingers, thick and red at the joints -- you bet a gold wedding band would glitter nicely on his hand. Candle light flickers suddenly, a shadow sharpening across his face as he looks around. This snags your attention, you lean forward and curl both arms on the table, chest pressing into the well.

“Well, it’s nice, right?”

“I guess,” he avoids looking you in the face, instead focusing on your painted lips before flitting to the table, “I just feel like it's more for couples, right?”

This is it!

“Huh, you think so?”

“Mhm,” his eyes settle between your own, observing the curve from your forehead to your nose.

“I bet we make a pretty couple, then.”

“Oh,” he nods slowly, mulling over the suggestion, “Probably. I’d say we’re both decently attractive people.”

Is this it?

Just as you go to ask what exactly he means by that, your food is ready and Laios starts rambling about how hungry he was regardless of the awkward atmosphere. It makes no sense, but he’s the next village chief of his hometown so you let it pass.

Month 6 - the time you two take a walk

“Thanks for accompanying me.”

Laios waves off your gratitude, “It was nice to find out we live on the same street anyway.”

You bite your tongue from telling him that he should already know this in favor of boldly wrapping an arm around his. A rehearsed yelp splices your throat; practiced stumble rocking you askew. Immediately, you set to memorizing the feel of his beefy bicep around yours, wondering how his waist feels. His thighs. His neck and calves and cheeks.

“I saw a rat,” the lie slips easily, spare hand coming up to coyly cup your own cheek.

“Really?” he peeks over your head, “Where?”

“Laios, that’s not important!”

“I didn’t hear any squeaking, do you think it was trying to be quiet?”

“Laios!” you pinch his arm, apologetically rubbing over the tender skin when he whines, “I hate rats…”

“They’re just- “ your sudden furrowing brows and massive scowl halts the rest of his sentence, “Sorry. Are you scared of them?” before you can respond, he spins you towards his other side -- arms still linked tightly, “If you heard it over here, it’s probably best I stay on this side.”

“Aww,” you tilt your head against his shoulder, “That’s actually so sweet, Laios. Thank you.”

“Uh-huh,” you’re too blinded by the gesture to notice his intense stare scavenging along the dark ground, if you did then you probably would’ve realized he just wanted to see a rat.

Month 11 - the time you find his gourmet guide

“Is this why you started a party?”

“No,” his face flushes rogue from forehead to collarbones, eyes darting away from you. Hands twitching to rip the book from your own.

“You’re an awful liar,” you wave the stained, peeling green book -- careful to not rip any of his carefully placed tabs or note cards in the swaying, “Why hide this? Everyone already knows you’re chock full of monster trivia.”

Laios sighs quietly, reaching out for the book, and he seems genuinely surprised with what little fight you put up. He smooths one of the curling edges of the cover under his thumb, “This book hasn’t gotten the best reception before. It's easier to just avoid people seeing it.”

Somewhere in your chest, there’s a twinge and ache before you’re speaking again -- for once no plan or motive to your words, “That’s terrible, Laios. You should be able to show it off.”

“You think so?” he grins.

Technically comforting him will only advance your plan to wed, but strangely you’re finding that you just… want to. You don’t want him to filter himself to live, that sounds cruel.

“You can talk to me about it anytime,” you don’t find monsters so fascinating -- to you they’re no different from a common beast, what does it matter that they’re eaten by Laios? Despite your own indifference, you want nothing more than to indulge Laios, “I’d love to hear about how they taste.”

And you’re not sure where that desire comes from.

“I haven’t been able to eat one yet, but I’m hoping to. I can’t find time to traverse the first few floors by myself.”

You just know that it feels right to see him excited.

“You don’t have to go by yourself now, I can join. You’ll be able to go deeper that way, right?” you laugh at his flaming cheeks, “And what luck: I’m a support mage, you couldn’t ask for a better setup.”

“I’ll have to see when our next rest period is, that way we won’t be exhausted before going on our own.”

And when you’re in bed alone later that night, you justify to yourself that having a secret between one another will lay good foundation for future intimacy. You pretend that was on your mind the entire time you made the offer.

Year 2 - the time you invite him into your home

“I have lychees. It’d be a shame to let them go bad, you know?”

“What are lychee?” Laios glances from your neck to your room door.

“You’re kidding,” you twist the knob and swing it open with the weight of your body, thudding against the wall to allow Laios entry, “They’re fruits! Imports from the Eastern Archipelago, I would’ve thought you’d hear about them since you pester Toshiro about the area all the time…”

Laios’ head is on a full axis swivel to find anything unfamiliar, ready to taste all your excitement about the fruits, “No, never came up,” he watches you stride past him to a cabinet, “By the way, whose Toshiro?”

Quietly, you laugh to yourself, pulling down a rocky, pinkish ball. Laios is too busy thinking about the damage it’s looking to do to his bare hand to process the fact you never answered his question.

(you thought he was joking)

“Consider this a gift for walking me home again.”

“You asked,” he shrugs, watching as you squeeze around the fruit until it cracks in the middle, then peeling the shell away, “Besides, we live on the same street so it’s not out of my way.”

You hope he says that because he remembered, rather than having ‘discovered’ it for the fourth time. To stop yourself from asking clarification, you slice the pearly fruit in two, plucking the dark seed before handing both halves to Laios.

“I’ve heard some people just pop the whole thing in their mouth, but I’ve never tried it that way,” you confess, watching him roll the fruit from one cheek to the other before chomping down.

Laios’ eyes flutter shut, a muted moan following, “That’s sweet.”

“I know, right?”

“But I still get hints of citrus.”

“I know, right?!”

He points to the other lychee in your palm, “Do you have more, or…?”

You don’t.

“Have it,” you peel and deseed the one in your hand to press against his lips, “Say ‘ahh’!”

He smiles faintly at the cooing, popping his mouth open for you to slide the fruit past his teeth and onto his tongue. A soft kiss tickles your fingertips as he mutters, “Thanks.”

“Uh, yeah,” you pull back slowly, tangling your fingers behind your back and rocking onto the balls of your feet nervously, “Yeah, of course.”

You’ve never been nervous this way around a man before. You’ve felt fear and you’ve felt hatred and you’ve had crushes, but none of those have made your heart pound quite so hard.

It’ll be good to be attracted to your husband, you think, anybody can marry into power but it takes a real hunter to find power so handsome and polite.

Year 3 - the time you ask him to marry you

“We should get married,” you blurt, interrupting Laios as he ponders aloud the best way to safely boil a scorpion.

Laios darts up from his book, wide eyes unabashedly boring into your soul, “What?”

“You and me,” you’ve chased enough, now you’re ready for him to get serious -- you can’t live like this. Dangling just out of reach, only to be abruptly yanked at his whim. Your parents want to meet your fiance, the one you’ve abandoned home to find: the one you’re apparently certain is better than their choice for you. You need him to admit defeat before you go insane, “We should get married.”

“That’s what I thought you said, but I wasn’t sure,” he closes his beloved gourmet guide around a bookmark you crafted specially for him from braided yarn and beads. It had multiple tassels for slotting various spots through the guide simultaneously to more easily find sections he was currently occupied with rather than sort through tabs. He loves its practicality, and he loves it more when he thinks about how you made it with him in mind.

He thinks you’re nice. He thinks you’re charming. He likes spending time with you. You even already know about his monster obsession, and you’re on-board!

Which is basically the best he can get, right?

Dinners with his parents were silent, and the room’s temperature would sink to match their chilly demeanors.

Dinners with you would be warm, and the quiet moments would be comfortable.

“Sure,” he eventually answers, when he finds no protesting nausea bubbling in his gut he takes it as a good sign, “We can get married.”

Not the exact response you’d been hoping for. Though, you should’ve been more direct, Laios is stubbornly socially inept after all.

You’ll mark it as progress anyway, overjoyed Laios is baseline willing. Which is enough for you.

Definitely enough.

Definitely. Just. Enough.

Anger

Upon arrival to the dungeon three years ago, you found it difficult to acclimate to the fact that death was not the end down here. When you saw your first corpse on the second level, you were nigh inconsolable in the weary arms of Toshiro as he mumbled assurances in your ear.

Now, as a seasoned adventurer, you’re reasoning that coldblooded murder isn’t immoral in the dungeon.

(of course, it is, and also of course, you won’t murder anybody. but- )

You rather like the image of the woman flirting with Laios exploding

Honestly the longer he goes without refusing her, the more you like the image of him exploding too.

“Laios is an idiot,” Toshiro again is the one to comfort you, “It’s best not to watch.”

You’re sure he’s right. You’re also sure you want to keep watching -- which will entirely ruin your mood for the crawl ahead of your party. This is only your first day, on the first level, during the first meal before you all officially set off. And Laios is explaining to a strange, yet beautiful, woman the way a slime can seep out overhead and suffocate her to death. She isn’t even appreciating the knowledge, she’s just staring at his stupid pink lips.

“Once she hears what he’s saying, she’ll lose all interest,” Toshiro adds, then continuing as your glare fails to subside, “It isn’t like you two are actually married. She probably thinks he’s single.”

“He is single,” Chilchuck buds in, hands locked behind his head, “Inter-party relationships are bad news, you know? I’ve seen lots of people fall apart because of jealousy and cheating,” he shoots daggers at Toshiro briefly, “Pining is just the first step to an all out collapse.”

You gasp at the accusation. You are not pining!

“I don’t even like him that way. We should just get married for the land and wealth advantages!”

You entertain his monster fantasies for the money, you feed him lychees for the status, and you’re fiending to rip that woman away for the property expansion. That’s all! His being handsome is just a bonus, not a factor. His soft heart is a neat detail, not something you dream about holding.

Chilchuck doesn’t believe you. And you don’t think you believe yourself at this point either.

Depression

In the wake of Chilchuck’s ominous warning: you’ve been avoiding Laios. You’ve been avoiding most of your party, actually. First to lay and last to rise from your bedroll to most effectively close yourself off from nipping at Laios again.

He hadn’t even managed the nerve to ask what had you so perturbed following his conversation with the floozy on the first floor. He just strolls along, normal as he could hope to be while you languish in the back of the party with Toshiro. You wonder if Laios notices you’re not at his side, you wonder what precisely is going through his head. Did he notice she was flirting? Did he care? Is he still keen on marrying you?

Was he ever?

Toshiro catches the sudden exasperated huff you let out, you rub at your aching eyes. While he detests Laios’ clueless and overly familiar nature, he does feel grateful to work with you. He’d consider it a massive shame if you were to drop from the party because of emotional duress.

“Read any good books lately?”

Your hands lower, eyes blinking sluggishly until you’re staring at him with full inquisition, “What…?”

Maintaining a forward stare, Toshiro reaffirms his resolve, “Humor me.”

“Uh, well…” you comb through your brain for any answer other than the honest one, exhaustion and melancholy blurring your lying ability, “Just one.”

Eager to strengthen your bond and hopefully secure your stay in the party when this Laios fiasco fully explodes, Toshiro smiles softly at you, “Tell me about it.”

“It’s, well, old. Really old. A little gourmet guide…” you pout, “Laios and I read it together.”

“Oh,” Toshiro clears his throat, “Sorry.”

Bargaining

Laios could not seem to care less as the handsome dwarf perched at your side pays you yet another compliment. A shred of you feels terrible, terrible pity for the man as every other second your attention sears across the packed tavern to your party. To the blondie still in his armor; the blondie not even looking your way.

“Another drink, then?”

“Hm?” you beat ungracefully, forgetting you were meant to be charming the man.

“Would you like another drink?” he gestures to the barrels behind the bar, “On my coin, of course,” his tone falters, head shifting to follow yours, “I get the idea you need to forget this night.”

“Oh, I- no, it’s nothing…” you risk another peek at Laios, finding him somehow more disinterested in you than before -- thoroughly enjoying a one-sided conversation with Toshiro, “I’m not…”

“Better ways to get your mister’s attention than flirting.”

“Oh,” you’re embarrassed to be figured out like this, “I’m sorry. Really, I can’t- God- I’m sorry.”

“He’s lookin’ this way.”

Chancing it, you confirm that Laios is now looking at the both of you. His amber eyes flit from your face to the man beside you, to the floor. He returns all focus to Toshiro.

“Wow.”

From pitier to pitied at breakneck speed is more jarring than Laios’ carelessness.

“He said he wanted to marry me,” you reason.

“Did he now?” the dwarf so obviously disbelieves you, you’re sick just hearing his voice.

“Yeah!”

The dwarf nods slowly, a sarcastic lilt in his following words, “Seems like he meant it.”

“I’m not drinking anymore…” you slide off the bar stool, pausing when the man’s voice punches your gut once more.

“You should find someone more attentive to you.”

Racing away from the dwarf, you tug Laios away from your party’s table by his elbow. You’re glaring, you’re glaring so hard and so viciously that it genuinely startles him.

“Are you okay?” his neck cranes to gaze upon the dwarf, “You were talking to that guy, right? Did he freak you out?”

“So you knew I was with him?” you scoff, “Don’t you care at all?”

Laios shrugs, he didn’t see flirting -- he has no idea what you’re talking about, and he doesn’t want to seem like a nightmare boss, so… “Not really, I guess.”

“Are you serious?!”

“It’s not a crime for you to unwind at a bar. Besides, it isn’t like we belong to each other or something.”

You turn suddenly, back completely to him before charging out of the bar -- Laios chases, disliking how this conversation is slated to end. He slams into you at the edge of the street, and when he tries balancing you by the shoulders you knock his hands away.

“I thought- “ you circle back to stare at his face, “I thought we were… I was always on top of you, and we- I said- you said we should get married.”

Laios squirms with humiliation, then irritation, “Well, you said it weird. Marcille says that stuff to Falin all the time. Why didn’t you just ask to be together?”

“I did!”

“Did you?”

“All the time…”

Acceptance

Laios squirms with humiliation, then irritation, “Well, you said it weird. Marcille says that stuff to Falin all the time. Why didn’t you just ask to be together?”

“I did!”

“Did you?”

“All the time…”

“I never knew,” he blinks at you, and the most dreadful thing is you know he’s not bluffing. Laios is a terrible liar, you’ve prided yourself on plucking his fibs apart in the past, but this is not one of those times.

“You didn’t notice?” you’re lightheaded at his nonchalance, arms coiling around your waist as if to belt your insides right where they are, “You seriously didn’t notice?”

“No,” Laios’ pretty lips tear in a frown, “Should I have?”

He means it literally: are you terribly sad or can we start all over again?

You assume he’s being himself, oblivious and avoidant and so, so, so annoying.

“I’m…” you stumble back, face so hot you’re seconds away from blacking out with terror. Stretching out to steady you, Laios continues to play the kind leader, and it only makes your dinner lurch up your throat. Instinctually, you clasp a hand over your mouth, shaking your head and taking a step back toward the bustling dirt path, “I’m going home.”

“Are you sure? You don’t have to, we can- ”

You shush Laios, memories whacking you over the head every millisecond just to taunt how stupid you were. Indignity blinds you, eyes snapping shut, “I’m going home, Laios.”

Panicked, you stammer a goodbye before lugging yourself away. Laios watches you fade into silhouette, drowning under the clogging crowd by townsquare until not even your head is visible. His fists screw at his sides, knuckles burning white, his feet feel the phantom pummeling of a rush against the ground; urging him forward. That might scare you though, and you already seemed awfully upset, so Laios figures it better to let you sleep off tonight. The two of you can rekindle tomorrow.

Peeking over your shoulder, you spot no broad shoulders or sandy blonde hair looming over the rest of the townsfolk.

Call it melodramatic and frustrating, but you were hoping Laios would follow just to grab your hand and ask you to stay. Not that you should be surprised. More often than not recently, you’d felt a burden on the party. Perhaps Laios is content you’re removing yourself. Perhaps he’ll be relieved you’re no longer pestering him. Perhaps he’ll walk inside and out your feelings to the rest of the party for them to share a laugh over.

(you should know him better than that, but you’re not in your right mind: storming into your room, a teary-eyed mess, to throw your things into bags)

Laios feels a lithe hand dig nails into his arm, he squeals sharply at the sensation and rips back to see Marcille gaping up at him. She throws an arm out toward the dirt road, “What are you doing?!”

Falin gently pries the elf off from Laios before humming thoughtfully at her brother, “They seemed really distraught. What happened?”

“Where’d you two come from?” Laios twists toward the tavern door, “I didn’t hear you at all…”

Flustered at the questioning, Marcille scoffs and drags Laios inside toward their table, “This isn’t about us! Have you never read romance before?! That was terrible!”

“They were upset, they probably wanted space,” Laios reasons, slumping into his seat at the head of the table, “We’ll see them tomorrow, we’ll talk again.”

“What’d you do now?” Chilchuck lifts a bottle of wine to his lips and tosses it back in a way that makes Toshiro cringe.

Namari quirks a brow at the man, waiting until he’s finished gulping to ask, “I thought you hated personal relationships and work?”

“I do, but if he just got rid of our other cleric then we should probably know about it.”

“I didn’t get rid of them!” Laios folds his arms with a sigh, “We’ll sort everything out tomorrow when we’re well-rested.”

Toshiro debates even opening his mouth. Laios is a one-man paradox, somehow well-meaning and belligerent in one breath -- overbearing and entirely hands-off. Laios’ spot in Toshiro’s heart is a complicated one: at this very moment the spot is incredibly tender. Down to that part of a night out where Toshiro empathizes with how clueless the bumpkin is, and it's that part of his brain that chastises him. After all, if it were him and Falin, he would want someone to say something.

“They’re going home,” Toshiro mumbles.

“Huh?” Laios cocks his head at the input, “I know, buddy, she told me she was heading home.”

“No,” be nice, be nice, be nice, be nice, “Home off The Island. No returning to the dungeon.”

“How’d you get all that?” Marcille leans onto the table with both elbows, nervously brushing long flaxen locks behind her ears.

“When we first met, it was something we talked about,” Toshiro confesses, “If they couldn’t marry on The Island, they’d have to take the suitor arranged by their parents back home. This rejection must be the final one.”

With Falin around, he decides to bite back his next statement: I’m not sure why Laios caught their eye in the first place, though.

“Pretty ditzy of you, party leader,” Chilchuck’s jab echoes into the bottle already resettled against his lips.

Laios stands, unsure of why except for the fact he cannot take the news lightly. His heart is racing in protest, one word jamming another in his hurry to speak, until he finally stutters out, “So?”

So, what should I do?

So, why wouldn’t you mention that?

So, why did he let you walk home alone?

“So…” Falin jumps to respond first, settling a massassing hand on Marcille’s shoulder to subdue the fuming woman, “If you want to smooth things over, you should probably go.”

Laios charges from the tavern despite Namari’s scolding that tonight was supposed to be on his tab.

Quickly coming to terms with the fact you’re long gone, Laios heads straight for the inn he and Falin live above. Certain once on that road, the memory of which hostel you’re renting out of will flood back to him.

. . .

You’re jamming bags puffy to the clasp when overzealous knocks threaten to rattle your door from its hinges. The only reason you don’t flee via window to shake the banging madman is because you recognize his voice: Laios, calling your name.

You sigh, forfeiting, “Come in, Laios!”

Despite your own disinterest, you want nothing more than to indulge Laios. It seems that this is something you’ll let devour you.

Flinging the door open and shut behind him, Laios stares at you -- slack jawed and pupils eating away irises. He stares into your face.

“What is it, Lai- “

“We can actually get married!” he blurts, stunning you into utter bewilderment, “You don’t have to take a suitor, you can marry me for real! I don’t care much for inheriting the village, but we can tell your parents I do.”

“Laios…”

“I don’t have much to throw for a wedding, though, so it’ll have to be something quieter than you probably imagined.”

“Laios.”

“Huh?”

“I can’t marry you,” you turn away from his confused pinch, now sweeping a finger along the scratched edge of your nightstand, “You don’t get it.”

“So make me get it,” he says so casually, you almost believe it’s really that easy.

“I can’t marry you because I don’t care about your dad,” he’s struggling to hold in the confused puppy-head-tilt of questioning, you can sense it, “I stopped throwing myself at you for stupid titles a while ago. For a long time I did it genuinely. Because I wanted to.”

“Because you liked me.”

“Now he gets it,” you huff bitterly.

“I can hear you,” Laios steps bravely to be beside you, “Do you still like me?”

You laugh because that’s all you can think to do. The sun just asked a daisy if it enjoys photosynthesis. A rhino wonders if the oxpecker is well fed. A black cat curls around an orange one in a window sill. Weeds grow so tangled up they need to be ripped as a knot. Two moth-gnawed coats hanging in the back of a rich man’s closet. Stars scorching at one another, colliding lightyears ahead. Squiggly stick figures holding hands in a defaced oil painting. Two eagles clawing at one another as they plummet from the sky.

“I don’t know if there’s a plane where I don’t.”

His morbid fascination and tactless enjoyment of life have you in a chokehold, one so fatally unshakable you’re certain he’ll someday kill you. Eventually, he’ll say something so thoughtlessly true to himself, with so much excitement it oozes from his pores, that you’ll have a heart attack then and there.

“So, why not stay?”

One day, he’ll lead you so deep into the dungeon that you cannot escape.

“You know what you’re implying, right?” your voice catches behind chattering teeth, a nervous whisper all you can manage, “I couldn’t, not if you’re just saying this out of guilt.”

“I know what I’m saying, I want you to stay so we can be together,” his face flushes, “I know how selfish it is, but I don’t want you to go home and marry someone else for your family. I want us to marry each other because I like you.”

His abrupt and daring confession has you petrified. Only your jaw is capable of movement, and the most it can do is dumbly drop before you gargle out a stunted, “Okay.”

“Okay!” he excitedly flails out both arms before crushing you against his cuirass, intensely aggressive and deeply endearing at once, “Do I have to meet your parents now?”

“Yes, that’s kind of the reason they let me stay here, you know? To see who I’d find on The Island instead of home.”

“I hate meeting adults… they’re so… weird.”

You choose not to point out that he, as well as everyone he associates with, is an adult.

“Just be yourself,” a sudden, maybe minorly manipulative, plan roars behind your eyes, “You’ll impress them so much, they’ll leave me alone forever!”

Hope

“And since they’re slimes, if you poke their eyes they stay perfectly calm! Which is another good way to tell them from the human they’re mimicking,” your dad made the mistake of asking Laios what he studied, misinterpreting your use of ‘fascinated by nature’ to mean ‘biology scholar’. Laios immediately began ranting and neither of your parents had reawakened from their shock yet, “Succubi can also duplicate people, but that’s usually when taking the most desired form their target has. Which is mainly sex appeal, so for me it’d probably be, well you know!” he affectionately squeezes your hand in view of your parents. You watch a little more of your dad’s soul crumble within his eyes, “The strangest is probably mirror monsters though, since they reflect what they see. They rely on flattery and illusions to swap with humans. I’d love to meet one so I could see their lure techniques in real time.”

“Wow, honey,” you grin, peeking at your parents across the table, “Can you circle back to how the shapeshifters make their copies? I just can’t wrap my head around why they’d use memories instead of the real things!”

“Oh, so it’s actually pretty simple!” Laios devolves into another ramble, eyes alight with excitement.

You’re just as glad to be feeding his need to talk about monsters as you are to be terrifying your parents.

“And you have a village in the North?” your father finally coughs out, holding a hand up to silence Laios.

“It’s my father’s,” Laios glances at you through his peripherals, visibly unsure how to carry out the conversation. To his credit, he’d pestered you about what exactly you wanted him to say about his father, and you only brushed it off as something you’d take care of.

“You’re the eldest, right?” your mom chews her thumbnail nervously, “A son at that!”

“Yes, yes, he’s a firstborn son,” Dad looks to you, “It was in the letter!”

“I am,” Laios’ foot taps beneath the table. Again glancing at you for further prompting.

“We’re not moving from The Island anytime soon,” you return Laios’ previous hand-squeeze, hoping to ease his nerves. You sit up straight, “We want to keep exploring the dungeon.”

“Yes, but after that?” Dad’s eyes are wet with concern and dread, “You’ll have to settle down eventually.”

“We’ll be fine, Dad. I’m fine living like this, I’ve had lots of fun -- I want to keep having fun. I’m excited to marry Laios, and he’s excited to marry me,” to add to your point, Laios nods enthusiastically, “I’m happy marrying for love, and I don’t care what it implies about me as your child.”

Meeting Laios was like striking gold. He’s different from anybody you grew up with, and you’re content to be with him as you continue to grow old.

“If you’re sure,” Mom lays a hand on your father’s back, as if to wrangle a dog before it bites, “Just visit more often, okay?” she catches how Laios perks up at the mention of more traveling, “And bring Laios, too. He’s very… interesting…”

You know. That’s why you courted (suffered) him for actual years.

[toxycodone]

"Are they into PDA?" - Dungeon Meshi Edition

content. multiple x reader, fluff

an. yknow i havent written in like a week ESPECIALLY for my beloved dungeon meshi so. here is this. I'm kinda using this too as like practice bc i have never written for a lot of these characters but I would love to try!

Let me know if you want me to do this for another fandom <3 or if i forgot some characters

Laios's Party

Laios - He can go 50/50. I think at the start of a relationship he’s really awkward about it (he’s not used to anyone being affectionate with him besides his sister). But as time goes on he starts to really get into it. He just loves finally feeling accepted and cared for it’s just 💕💕 yeah. He’s lovey dovey enough with you in public to make people cringe. And he doesn’t get it when people suggest he should cool it down. Laios’s PDA is never heated or anything. Just cute and romantic. He’s smitten.

Falin - Similar to Laios, but I think she’s more chill with it off the bat. Falin gets hit with that puppy love phase HARD when you first start dating so she’s all shy and her heart’s pounding but she’s only bashful because she’s just so into you!! post-chimera she becomes a lot more assertive and has less regard for others witnessing your PDA. She’s always sitting close to you, holding your hand, resting her head on your shoulder (or letting you rest your head on hers). I also think she has a habit of sneaking up on your and nipping your neck/shoulder.

Marcille - ENJOYS IT. Like…there is not denying it. Marcille loves PDA. You would think your hands are glued together or something my God when you two are walking she’s always holding yours and swinging your arms while humming a little tune AHHHH…of course her cheeks will be stained red though. You ask for a kiss in public and she’s squeaks out an “…okay.” (Then has to hype herself up and is timidly puckering her lips w her eyes squeezed shut comically tight). Anyways. Yeah. She’s a little obsessed with you okay.

Chilchuck - He’s more lowkey and chill about PDA. He admires other couples when he witnesses it “aaah, young love.” But I think Chilchuck is a bit too mature to just. Make out with you in public (now if he’s had a few beers. That’s different. Drunk Chilchuck is a different breed okay.) Chil will give you a goodbye kiss or hold your hand for a second and give you a gentle squeeze, but that’s about it when it comes to public affection. I think he shows his affection fr tho by buying you accessories to wear (scarves, rings, pouches, etc.).

Senshi - He’s not super affectionate in public in general but he doesn’t mind it. Like oh? You wanna give him a little kiss? Sure. That’s fine. But then when he realizes others witnessed it then Senshi gets bashful. Thank god he has that thick ass beard bc I know he’s blushing way too hard. He blushes really hard at any PDA between you two. It’s honestly super cute. :3

Izutsumi - No. Hard pass. Do not. It just makes her incredibly uncomfortable (honestly the idea of affection in general makes her feel weird bc Izu thinks she’s undeserving, but she likes you enough to try to love herself. For you.) I think Izu substitutes PDA with handmade things…like. One day after a little thinking and comparing you guys to other couples she’s a little nervous about you thinking she doesn’t like you/isn’t a good partner. So…you guys have matching necklaces she made instead. It’s just a pretty rock and some feathers tied clumsily in twine but! She’s trying! It’s a step in showing that Izu wants something to link you guys together to others.

Toshiro - (idc that he isn’t in the party anymore he just fits best here ok) Hear me the fuck out. Toshiro Nakamoto likes PDA. BEFORE YOU STOP READING HEAR ME OUT. I think it’s a huge deal w his characterization that Toshiro is really repressed and is learning to voice his needs/concerns/opinions/etc. and I think this also applies to like. Getting in touch with his desires. Toshiro desires to be loved and cared for and well. He enjoys actions of affection from you. They make him happy. And when he finds himself getting embarrassed about it…he thinks on it. Like why should he feel the need to not showcase this? Anyways, yes he enjoys it. But keep it classy 💕 He prefers to save anything more for when you two are alone.

Kabru's Party

Kabru - 50/50 like Laios. But Kabru’s initial dislike for PDA stems from his own insecurities. Like…Kabru is just still processing that he is capable of love and doesn’t have to basically set his own desires and needs to the side and sacrifice for others. After he jumps over that jump it’s smooth sailing though. (Kinda. Every now and then he gets hit w an insecurity episode). Kabru’s like a fantasy prince. He gives chaste kisses to your lips and forehead, kisses your knuckles…yeah. It’s cheesy, but from him it works.!

Holm - Average PDA enjoyer. Keeps it cool and classy in public. He doesn’t initiate a lot besides a gentle kiss to your forehead or patting your shoulder every now and then. He has no qualms with it, Holm’s just a really mature dude (plus with his religion I kinda think he values being respectful). But like. As soon as eyes are off you guys Holm is WAY more touchy and lovey. When mickbell and kuroo stay at his place he’s always a little miffed mainly because his privacy with you is SACRED to this man.

Mickbell - Says he likes PDA. Cannot handle being kissed without practically exploding. He’s so cringe (I love him). Mickbell the embodiment of that “first kiss” vs. “expecting a kiss with tongue” meme. But he’s the first kiss part. He likes to pretend he has any sort of experience (he does not) and any attempt at PDA leave him glowing red but in his mind he’s like heh…I was so cool. (He wasn’t)

Rin - NO. It’s a mix of bashfulness and her fear of doing something crazy via magic because of crazy emotions. But I think she desperately does crave affection. Being able to be treated like a normal girl and love and be loved with no issue. Yeah. You can probably sneak up on her and give her a smooch or something and she’ll be too stunned to react (thank goodness bc the explosion spell building up fizzles out before it can be fully cast)

Golden Kingdom

Thistle - Little pain in the ass he acts like he hates it but in reality he loves displays of affection. Like Thistle gets all red in the face and waves you off but then he’s blushing and kicking his feet like a schoolgirl when you’re out of sight. In my mind Thistle doesn’t do a lot of PDA (if any) but he’s most definitely writing about you in his poem books 💀 there’s likely books dedicated to you…and yes he’d die if you found out.

Yaad - In the most princely sense, yes. Yaad is very sweet. Polite. Demure. He kisses your hand as a greeting and may kiss your cheek if he’s feeling really crazy (omg). But he treats you like the most respectable being on earth. Absolutely adores you. PDA makes him blush and Yaad will have a cute little smile for a while afterwards and be in a good mood (Laios asks you to be affectionate w him particularly when he knows he royally messed up)

Canaries

Pattadol - DO NOT. Like maybe a cheek kiss is fine but Patty is working VERY hard to look like a formidable leader and when you distract her! She can’t! Plus the prisoners immediately start making fun of her! You guys gotta keep it cool around them. She still loves you though.

Lycion - This is weird but Lycion seems like the type of guy who can do sexual stuff in public with no issue but PDA? It makes him choke a bit. Only because he struggles SO much with self image + self worth so you doing an action just to show affection for him that doesn’t give you anything in return makes his heart skip a beat. Like damn? You really love him? That’s crazy. Anyways. It’s cute as fuck.

Fleki - I honestly don’t know what to say other than you could eat her out in front of a crowd and she wouldn’t flinch. She’s soooo touchy and all over you it probably makes people uncomfortable but she doesn’t give a fuck. She clings to you like a Koala with no issue (like she did to otta in that comic YEAH)

Otta - Yes but she’s going to be pretend chaste about it. Like Otta acts all down to earth in public but I can’t decide if it’s because she wants to tease you or pretend like she has any sense of self control. Once you’re desperate enough yeah you two will be making out in public’s

Cithis - Idk if this is against the grain but I think she’s a bit reserved about PDA. Not because of any bashfulness or whatever (she could give less of a fuck) but with her hinted past experiences with people not regarding her personal space and being weird to her. In my mind just. Cithis has some personal boundaries about being touched and stuff she doesn’t want to be crossed. That’s not stopping her from getting you off under the table with her foot though. (Insane.)

[pomegranatesandtangerines]

based off this post

how I think (some of) the Dungeon Meshi characters would interact with an isekai-ed reader who's hyperfixation is dungeon meshi

includes: Laios, Falin, Kabru, and Toshiro (Shuro)

Laios

im imaging reader meeting him when he was a child

a little after Falin was born and after he was given the dungeon gourmet guide

reader actively seeking him out but kinda starts freaking out when they actually see him

reader decides to go with the approach being interested in his book

Laios was suspicious at first ( the book is one of the main reasons he got bullied )

but after some time and patience he got comfortable with you

I feel that Laios would be very attached to reader

like someone besides his sister who gets him, listens to him, communicates with him, etc.

listen as someone who is very hyperfixated on dungeon meshi at the moment I would be so invested in learning about monsters

and Laios is more then happy to talk about it for hours

reader making a point to support his dream of exploring the dungeons bc his parents are dicks

he wouldn't really be weirded out by reader seems to know so much about him, maybe early on but over time I feel he would just be glad to have someone like that by his side

low-key though,,, I think there would be a small small part of him that is kinda jealous over how reader seems to just,, get some people

Falin

I see reader being her number one hype-person as a child

reader would also beg her to teach them some magic

I think that Falin and reader would meet through Laios

Falin while she is outcasted from her home town, is still a litter more sociable then her brother

but what had her truly open up was not only the readers support of her magical talent but also the readers interest in learning about how biology works in this world

she also info dumps a ton

you know how she kept bringing Marcille things cause she wanted to eat them with her

she would 100% do that with reader,,, and the amount would increase when Laios leaves

Kabru

he would be veryyy fascinated by the reader

his hyperfixation is people. studying them, their anatomy, psychology, how they tick

he would absolutely notice how reader picks up on things, knows things about some people without even having met them, predict events

to put it simply he wants to study reader under a microscope but is also extremely suspicious of them

he's also gonna pull out all the stops to try charm his way into understanding reader

his distrust sky rockets the first time they lock eyes, he can see it in his eyes, this look of understanding the deepest parts of him

he does not like it

it takes a long ass time for him trust them and genuinely open up again

reader making a point to ask things that will make him want to info dump

"hey did you notice how x was acting today" or "did you hear that x and y got together? do you think they'll make it?"

gossip buddies

Toshiro

ALRIGHT LET ME START BY SAYING THIS, HE IS WAYYYY TOO MISCHARACTERIZED IN THIS FANDOM

and reader would be all too aware of this as well

he is heavily implied to have a hyperfixation on bugs, and had to at a young age become a master at masking and picking up on social norms

but anyways-

he would think reader is weird, mostly bc they would remind him of laios

slowly but surely I feel he would feel more comfortable

another case of the way to his heart is through the info dump

maybe walking back from a little adventure and noticing a beetle and showing him

now hes not gonna be as outwardly as excited as Laios

but it is slightly noticeable that he is interested and excited

reader offers to give it to him and asks him some questions

less info dumping and more info sprinkling but still he does like to talk about it

I think he would appreciate how they seem to pick up on his smaller details, maybe not a perfectly but still

[tanoraqui]

Dungeon Meshi Liveblog: Let's Eat!

(That is, let's live, want, connect... oh, you know what I mean by now)

I like how Yaad and the other living villagers can casually talk with the ghosts, because for all intents and purposes they were also ghosts... In fact, those who stayed and spent centuries going through the patterns of life even though all true meaning had been lost long ago were MORE "ghosts" than those who lost their corporeal forms because they wanted to escape so badly that they went wandering... That's so fuckin' good. I wanna eat this writing.

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Kabru just randomly walking out of the bushes the second Laios starts considering politics...love him. He was summoned. His PR spidey senses were going off.

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look at my boy, establishing his own authority.

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Lol this was me when we moved house last month, and my job was to just stand in the new living room and tell people where to put which box or piece of furniture. It's an important job in a task with a lot of people!

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FUCK YEAH, THAT'S MY MAN! HE LOOKS GREAT!

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fucking love the trope of "one savvy friend in the crowd who deliberately gets a supportive chant going." Of course it's Kabru.

Though it's important to note that the first thing someone called was, "The demon-eater's here!", and there was muttering while no one was entirely sure if that was a good thing or not... Kabru didn't start the rumble of the crowd; the rumble of the crowd is unavoidable, and you have to be aware of that. Laios has always been aware of that, he's just never known what to do about it, and so tried to avoid it. But he's not avoiding it anymore - so Kabru started the hype of the crowd.

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They're both right! In order to eat, you need to kill! A memento of a meal IS a spoil of war!

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They're unhappy bros... /laughing

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Shown: man desperately reassuring himself, and psyching himself up to eat this stupid dragon meat

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DADCHUCK. Istg my father has said the same thing to me.

p.s. oh thank god he's fully dressed again. it was indecent.

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Marcille is so resigned to this, and so...determined to see it as her own choice. "We all agreed", "I've got to go" - and I'm sure she does see it as her own choice, in a way, because this is how the world has always worked and she knows that. She knew that going in. Those who do ancient magic are arrested by the Elves of the West, that's just the "natural" consequence. She might've gotten away with it if she'd gone undiscovered, or if she'd stayed in the dungeon forever, but she didn't - she chose to pursue her craft, to save Falin, and to do everything after that, too, and so she implicitly chose the consequence with it. If it's unfair, well, thinking that changes nothing, so it's better not to think it.

Until Laios is like, "Actually, I might have political power now? And I'm SO goddamn tired of myself and people I love being punished just for being different, and interested in unconventional things. Let's try something."

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WELL-FUCKING-PLAYED! GET THEIR ASSES, LAIOS! It's especially great because I'm pretty sure he knows the answers to all of this by now? Power move!

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Is she sitting there completely nude except for jewelry and a short robe. Icons only, honestly. Though "we have the luxury of time" feels like so much of a threat from an elf.

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Hey, you did objectively defeat him! Okay arguably the Lion did but Laios did it first, he just also then talked to him, and got grabbed by friendly vine-tentacles. You didn't kill him, but that's not what Delgal asked for anyway!

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thinking about that post that observed that Thistle's driving madness was specifically getting Delgal home for dinner, to eat all together as a family again, and he wakes up to the sound of the people of the Golden Kingdom eagerly inviting the (new) king to eat, and him responding...crying... What is lost is lost, but life will go on.

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The moment when a character decides to lie to another character for their own good is always so compelling. The little moral quandary microcosm.

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So Yaad did know something of what passed between Delgal and Thistle, that drove Thistle down the path to dark magic. He know what it was his grandfather blamed himself for.

This is SUCH A GOOD AND QUIET-SAD DEATH SCENE, but as a consummate fan of 'actually, living is much much harder than dying, and much more interesting too', I do like to think Thistle lives and has to...figure out what to do with his life. And that 'what to do with his life' ends up including ancient magic mad science with Marcille.

...But honestly, even though that'd be fun for me, it seems almost cruel to Thistle. He's been alive for so long. Those he loved most are gone. He held the demon back from the surface, trapped in those books, for so long, even if it was in no way whatsoever with the good of the world in mind. If anyone deserves this peaceful death in (what he thinks are) his brother's forgiving arms, it's him.

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Unfortunately, my love, as has been ceaselessly proven in this story: that's life.

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Marcille has caught onto one of the major themes! However, this story still isn't in favor of afternoon special Moral of the Story - not of letting the characters wrap things up with a bow, at least. You just go on living and wanting and learning about and connecting with and killing new things, forever! That's how it goes! You never know everything and you're always a little bit starving!

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I really love this grumpy old man, and I want him to stick around and be one of Laios's advisors. He's an old gnome, he'll die as soon as an average tallman would anyway.

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This is a) very touching coming from Mithrun, who is only just regaining his own will to live, and b) almost tautalogical in this story EXCEPT that it is also clear that merely "wanting" doesn't mean you get to continue to live, it only means that you're alive in this moment - you also need to want to live MORE than whatever's trying to kill you wants to live.

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GREAT VISUALS!

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And then it's so small, so small that she could leave it behind entirely but Falin is still so kind that she picks it up anyway! Falin who looks at everyone and everything - ghosts and brothers and mad mages and dead dragons, the latter of whom were both violently oppressing her soul - and thinkgs "I gotta help." She's so good!

I'm really going to need to write a like 2k post-canon character study about how Falin has part of the spirit of a dragon in her chest which unfurls while she travels abroad and curls up again and hides when she's home with Marcille and especially with Laios, and how it's a metaphor for her own independence but also literally there is the spirit of a dragon. At the end of it she figures out how to nurture and commune with the dragon enough to have her own flight-capable wings.

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THIS IS SO FUCKING COOL-LOOKING. AUTOPHAGIC SELF-CREATION FOR THE FUCKING WIN!!

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YYEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

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fuck it, have a collage, because this bitch-ass website is about to cut off my photos-per-post. It can't HANDLE the sheet joy of Falin resurrection reunion hugs!!

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so many people love her, or at least are really emotionally invested in this now!! /sobs

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Lmaoooo

Laios: wracked with food poisoning because he ate raw walking mushroom Falin: great distress! Marcille: trying very hard to help, also thinking sooo hard that He Is An Idiot. [btw I love how it looks like she takes up holding her hair back with a band] Kabru: having his weekly moment, as he has for the past many years and will continue to have until he dies, of wondering if he shouldn't really have just killed this guy rather than let him become king

Kabru definitely wrote this whole ending narration btw. This is his press release from like 40 years in the future. And those kids! An orc kid and a kobold kid, and zooming out to show kids of other races, all playing together and going to lunch together!!

And then they all lived, and hungered and ate and killed and wanted and sought understanding and connected with one another and were part of the great circle of life, as happily ever after as one can get.

This story truly was delicious...in dungeon!

[malaierba]

That one person that tagged a post focusing on Toshiro and Namari hanging out, with "Namari probably bought Toshiro a beer and changed his life" left such an impression on my brain.

Latinx moots may know the comedian Franco Escamilla, there's this story he tells about going to London and ordering a beer except no one warned him that its alcohol percentage was like 7% (in Mexico the highest in 5% but most are like 3% or something idk, correct me if I'm wrong).

So yknow how it goes, it hits him like a truck coming from his blind spot, he's suddenly everyone's friend, starts saying stuff he shouldn't, eventually reaches the point where he's just fast forwarding in time and teletransporting, dies on his bed.

Okay well, you get the general idea of what I'm imagining lol. Namari buys Toshiro a beer bcs he seems like a reasonable guy, just a bit uptight, maybe it'll help him loosen up?

She misses the moment when Toshiro's walls crumble down with the power of alcohol. Suddenly he's openly praising her combat skills and weaponry knowledge, made him feel better about being abducted into Laios team, "what do you mean by that?", suddenly he's complaining about the whole "he came up to me, told me I look weird, misheard my name etc", it's unexpected and kind of funny.

She gets him to tell her a little about his family, more about swords, they're in the middle of retelling something or the other that happened the day before that was a little funny (Chilchuck being the straight man to Laios in a particularly creative way, maybe Marsille's attempt at solving a situation with a fire explosion and failing the task successfully, etc).

At this point she kind of wants to show this unexpected development to someone, anyone, at the very least Chilchuck, so she tries to drag Toshiro to wherever the rest is staying, except that by now Toshiro's logical thinking is more alcohol than rational thinking. He gets lost a couple of times, each time she finds him either somewhere unexpected (very still besides a statue, seems like he thought he was waiting in line) or talking to randos he'd never approach sober (some other drunk tall man grabbed him as if to dance with him and he tried to play along! She saw him dance!?).

She's determined but this side quest IS getting kind of long. The moment she spots a bench she hauls his ass princess style over there, so they can sit for a minute and rest.

They end up being found by Chilchuck the next morning, who dutifully wakes them up to ask them wtf do they think they're doing sleeping outside like a couple of dogs, though only after getting out a pen and doodling on their foreheads.

He at least helps Namari drag Toshiro back (man is more dead than alive), although he never believes her when she tells him that Toshiro has bizarre yet oddly rhythmical moves.

[itsthesinbin]

Laios Touden x Fat!Reader (SFW AND NSFT)

I'm gonna do individual posts just so i dont feel pressured to write a bunch at once

here's the first of the fat!reader stuff- my boy Laios!

for my fat bitches and bastards who get tired of ONLY seeing chubby!readers and how they're all cutesy and insecure about their bodies.

SFW

⦁ We already know Laios likes fat fucks. It's canon from the short orc segment tbh. ⦁ Golden retreiver boyfriend with the brain of an orange cat. He's very affectionate and very stupid (lovingly). ⦁ He's physically affectionate and kinda just. grabs part of you when cuddling. He doesn't mean anything by it but they're called love handles for a reason. ⦁ Emotional support stomach. Like how a woman just grabs her boob for no reason, Laios does the same to your stomach (or your boob if you have them and let him do that). ⦁ "Laios" "Yes?" "Stop jiggling my stomach." And he gives you the puppy eyes cause he's a big weenie. He catches you doing it to yourself later and just "WELL WHY CAN'T I DO IT THEN!!!!" Sometimes you just gotta slap your flab around don't lie to me and say you don't do it. ⦁ Putting the tall in Tall-Men, his clothes fit you so you're often stealing them. He actively gives you clothes to wear and wash so they'll smell like you/your soap when he goes into the dungeon. ⦁ If you go into the dungeon with him to find Falin, he gets worried about your caloric intake (and everyone else's but bigger ppl like you, himself, and Senshi need more calories) and double checks with Senshi that you got enough food. Senshi gets offended that he thinks you're not being fed, but Laios is just worried about you. ⦁ Personal hot water bottle. Extra body fat means you keep heat so if he's cold he's instantly in your sleeping bag- or he begs you to get in his.

NSFT

⦁ Please sit on his face please please please please please please for the love of god please. ⦁ Very much the type to get a GOOD hold on your hips and ass. If it's got meat he's grabbin it. ⦁ Has asked for a boob job at least once if you got them. He'll respect if you say no, of course, but he does pout a little. Not in a guilt trippy way his dumb ass does NOT know how to hide his emotions. ⦁ He's very sloppy and inexperienced, but he is VERY enthusiastic. ⦁ Praise kink to the max- loves telling you how good you look and feel, and absolutely melts if you do the same to him. ⦁ Sucks dick/eats pussy like it's his last meal you WILL be walking funny later.

[withlove-xixi]

— BABY FEVER: chilchuck x f!reader

ᥫ cw: pregnancy + established relationship, also one inuendo ᥫ wc: 2841 ★ this has been stuck on my mind for sooo long! i jst want it to be a bit silly teehee >_<! cross posted on ao3

— THERE ARE TIMES WHEN INSTINCT JUST KICKS IN

[♡]: for chilchuck, his instincts kicked in as often as you'd think (especially with laios as a party leader). it was a trait his colleagues admired him for, it made him responsible, dependable. it was a trait chilchuck prided himself it— was he to blame when it came in so handy? though of all the times his instinct saved his ass, there was one he'd have been far more at peace dealing with on his own.

CHILCHUCK'S KEEN SENSES COME IN HANDY.

As a half-foot, his senses were better than other races, having the ability to hear better and smell better, to an extent. He would be alert too with the things he'd sense, shifts in temperature, whispers in the wind. It all came in handy in the dungeon, where Chilchuck would always be first to sniff out any danger.

Like the last time he had ventured down there with the party and Laios had clumsily triggered a trap on accident.

There was a sound, so soft it was nearly silent. It grates in Chilchuck's ear, causing his brows to furrow slightly. Usually in the dungeon, there were all sorts of strange noises Chilchuck normally wouldn't give a second thought to, but this was different. It was louder, therefore closer, therefore— "EVERYBODY RUN." Not a second wasted as everyone quickly followed Chilchuck's instruction, sprinting far and fast into the next room as the walls behind them began to close in on each other. Of course once everyone got to safety, they had thanked and praised him for his quick reaction, saving everyone from another death. Chilchuck had sighed, assessing everyone's safety before promptly going to Laios to scold him for his clumsiness.

Chilchuck's experience comes in handy too.

Whether it was picking locks, bargaining for deals, or patching up worn clothes, Chilchuck's experience always came in clutch.

It was a while back when you two had first moved in together in Chilchuck's house. Chilchuck was proud of your decision, enjoying the newfound domesticity that came with it. "STOP FUCKING YELLING, CALM DOWN!" As domestic as things can get, you supposed. He had clicked his tongue in frustration, wedging one of his tools against his lips and he worked on picking the lock with another. Sweat had dripped down his forehead, sticking stray strands of his bangs against his skin as he worked. He could hear you speak, something a bit panicked and muffled. He had huffed through his nose, if he wasn't holding his tool in his mouth, he would've scolded you again. Of course, he already had and was planning to scold you some more once he got you out of the locked storage room. How could you be so foolish as to break the lock on accident? You were literally living with a locksmith for crying out loud. Once he had gotten you out though (which he himself found miraculous, because you really did some serious damage to the lock) and found you all frazzled and sweaty, and decided to spare you the lecture for now. Chilchuck had wrapped you in his arms and promised to fix the lock in the morning.

Combined, forms what becomes Chilchuck's instinct. He's proud of the person he's grown to be; proud of the big things he's able to do with his instinct, like keeping his friends out of danger when working in the dungeon, and little things too, like last week when he quickly caught the glass you had accidentally knocked off the dining table. While he'd never admit it, it always made him feel warm inside, knowing he had the ability to protect the people he cared about.

Only now, he felt less warm about the feeling and more like he needed to puke right this instant.

Chilchuck cannot recall when he started to truly notice things, but he remembers smaller details scattered around the past few weeks (Gods, had it nearly been a month?). He remembers going out to get you some food you had been whining about craving for a while, he remembers you grouchily scolding him for something then apologizing to him tearfully not ten minutes after.

But when exactly did it start?

Chilchuck's instinct kicked in far too quickly for him to even register that something was up. With you, he had always been more protective, of course he had to be twice as alert as when he was in the dungeon. But this turned out to be his downfall.

Because last night when he pulled you closer to him, his hand brushed over your belly and he instantly freezes. He felt it, and as soon as he did, he realized what it was — what it meant.

A small bump. A small bump he might not have even noticed but it was you, he's notice if you had lost an eyelash.

There was no denying it. You were, based off all the obvious signs he really should've seen sooner, pregnant. And Chilchuck didn't know what to feel. On one hand, he's quite happy, excited even. That's his baby in your belly. It's the same part of him that feels somewhat proud of it, a way to show off that he was truly yours, and you were truly his. It was sweet. He felt warm.

On the other hand, he was totally fucked. For one thing, this was never planned. Sure, the conversation of kids came up every now and then, but he never thought it might've actually happened. He was certain that you both were well into the age where it was nearly impossible for this to happen. Of course it wasn't entirely a bad thing. Chilchuck's survived three daughters, what's another kid? But it's so agonizing to even begin to imagine the rest of his life with an unplanned kid (as happy as Chilchuck is to have another one, he's not as happy to have his perfect little life for two be so suddenly changed without prior notice).

Another thing is his daughters. Sure, his daughters were old enough, they were mature too. He's certain he's raised them well enough to handle the situation with grace, but another sibling? From their 29 year old dad? He's knows they wouldn't mind too much, in fact Puck and Fler might be more than excited to have a new sibling. But as much as he knows that, he knows it would be awkward (though he fears it would be awkward mostly for him, but awkward nonetheless), it would be a bit strange for the girls to have to watch a new sibling grow up when they're already old.

Oh my gods. Oh my gods, did you even know?

It was the thought that rang in Chilchuck's head as he paced around the kitchen, hand on his chin, eyebrows furrowed in deep thought.

Chilchuck's certainly figured it out, but did you? As silly as it is for a pregnant woman not to notice (especially when it was beginning to be noticeable for others), it wasn't entirely impossible. The same happened when they had Meijack, but then they had both caught onto the signs very early on (it helped too that they had been going on regular check ups for it). This time? Gods, Chilchuck was certain you hadn't noticed. You had no reason to hide it from him after all, and even if you were trying to, you were acting far too normal to raise any suspicion.

Chilchuck's mind races with all sorts of thoughts but one thing rings clear, he has to tell you about the pregnancy.

How is the bigger thought that follows. For sure he could just sit you down and explain things. You weren't some child that needed sugarcoating, it wouldn't change the fact that you were pregnant anyway. But still, it felt strange to do it like that (that and Chilchuck wpuld like to avoid direct conforntation as much as he can, even with you).

Maybe he could tell you over dinner? Prepare a nice meal, one of your favorites or something you've been craving, and tell you then when you're all comfortable and happy. But it felt a bit disingenuous. Plus it would basically be like sugarcoating the whole ordeal.

He could try to tell you indirectly? Write a letter about it and ask you to open it only when Chil was out of the house. Though it wouldn't work because he knows you'd attempt to beat him to death as soon as he stepped through the front door, and as the new father-to-be (as if he isn't already a father) wanted to be there when you know. He wants to see how you'd react, and he'd want to be there for you.

Perhaps he would take you to the doctor for a "routine check up" and have the doctor tell you instead. Though it wouldn't work because he knows you'd beat him to death as soon as you realize he knew beforehand and the whole doctor's trip was a set-up. But it would be nice to have a check up for the baby then and there too, kill two birds with one stone.

Chilchuck sighs in defeat, completely clueless on how to tell you. From what he sees, there are two valid and plausible options; one, he ask help from a friend to help him set up something nice so he could announce the news to you in a gentle and elegang manner; or two, he pretends not to know and wait until you figure out on your own.

Option two would be best. Right on time because as soon as he decides on the (cowardly) route to take, he hears the wooden door creak and you huff in exhaustion. Immediately, he rushes to your side, kissing your temple and taking away the heavy groceries from your hands (because pregnant women shouldn't be carrying heavy things).

"You're sweet tonight, Chil," you say playfully. "Did you do something bad?"

You hold half the fault. He thinks as he carries the groceries to the kitchen. "Can't I be sweet to my favorite girl?"

You giggle and he sighs with relief, letting go of breath he didn't know he was holding. He places the groceries on the counter, a basket full of assorted fruits, two loaves of bread, a jug of milk, a bottle of wine, and good gods, how the hell did you carry all these on your own? Chilchuck's begins to wonder if maybe you weren't pregnant and were simply getting a bit chubbier (he certainly was) and maybe all the mood swings were from your period coming up, and maybe your body aches were from working yourself too hard, and maybe your cravings were from your period coming up also.

The brief moment of silence in his mind that everything might've been product of his overthinking ends abruptly when he hears you stumble to the bathroom and immediately hears you puke after.

Again, he's rushing to your side, holding stray strands of hair back and soothingly rubbing circles on your back. He coos gently at you, calming you down.

"I'll get you some water," he says, though he only attempts to leave the bathroom when you nod in confirmation.

In the kitchen, he tries to calm himself as more thoughts and worries go through his head. On one hand, option two is a nice easy way out of confrontation. You get to figure it out all on your own and Chilchuck and live a nice happy rest of his twenty or so years with the love of his life telling the silly story of how she found out about their kid. On the other, surely you must be suffering a lot. It must be strange to you to feel all these symptoms but have no clue as to what's causing them if you had even thought each were relating to the same source. It would be better to man up and tell you so you'd at least have something to blame for being grouchy or wanting to eat grilled kraken parasite again. But again, if he tells you now, you'd be a bit frustrated for not knowing it sooner. Though wouldn't you be more frustrated to keep going through these unknown symptoms? And—

There's a strained huff behind him that pulls him out of his thoughts.

"Woah hey, what're doing?" He asks as he rushes to you for the third time that evening. He sets the glass of water down on the counter next to the groceries and tries to wrestle the basket of fruit from your hands.

"Putting away the groceries, Chil, what does it look like I'm doing?" You ask, giving him a small glare, clearly somewhat annoyed.

"Here, let me do it." He offers, finally taking the basket from your hands.

You pout at him, which would normally be very dangerous bit Chilchuck's thinking enough to remember pregnant women shouldn't carry heavy things, but let him take the fruit anyway. Chilchuck smiles at you first to try and put you at ease before he goes to grab a step stool. He sets it down and begins reaching for a pretty bowl to display the fruit in. Thank gods you were being somewhat reasonable (he recalls how a few days ago you were being very insistent you didn't need his help with directions in a bazaar at the other side of town and got yourself lost for a bit and he mentally curses at himself for so foolishly letting a pregnant woman wander around aimlessly in a hot, crowded marketplace) and prays lady luck would string him some more miracles as he continues working with option two—

There's a clink and a pop below him that pulls him out of his thoughts.

Chilchuck nearly drops the bowl he's holding (which would definitely have gotten him beat to death for) as he exclaims, "H-hey! What do you think you're doing?"

You look up at him with a confused look, stopping your pour of wine only when the glass is shy of being half-full. "What is it now?" You ask and he can definitely hear the growing frustration in your tone. "I haven't had the best day, I just want to unwind a bit."

There's a panicked look on his face as he steps down from the stool. "You can't." The way his says it makes your eyebrows tilt downwards to glare at him.

"And why not?" You ask, your tone turning from sour to angry.

Chilchuck sets the bowl down next to the forgotten glass of water. "Well, why should you? There are other ways to unwind you know?" He says without thinking much and begins to set the fruit in the bowl, trying his best not to raise anymore suspicion.

There's a silence that falls in the kitchen and Chilchuck is scared he was getting beat anyway. But then he hears the distinct sound of a wine bottle and a wine glass clink against the counter (of course those small sounds would be familar to a man like Chilchuck) and it takes all his power not to heave a sigh of relief.

Short lived relief because when you wrap your arms around his torso you whisper in his ear, "hm, what sort of other ways, Chil?"

Startled, he jolts upwards and drops an apple. "I didn't... I-I didn't mean it like that!" Chilchuck says, almost in a scolding manner but his face grows red so it's quite difficult to even discern his tone.

You hum again, pressing your face against his neck just so your nose brushes against his skin and your hot breath warms it up. Oh this really would've been dangerous for Chilchuck. "Not like you to have cold feet." You say in a teasing manner, but Chilchuck can feel his stress levels rising too much to even be a bit riled up by you right now.

He turns and grabs you by the shoulders. "Really, I didn't mean that." He says somewhat sternly, but he quickly gives you a shaky smile when he sees the corners of your lips twitch downward.

Your eyes study his and he feels like maybe option two was the worse of two evils. Your lips press into a thin line, clearly you sense something is up, it's evident in the way you're ready to pounce at him with all sorts of unbelieve accusations.

He lets go of your shoulders and sighs in defeat. "It's complicated," he says, almost dejectedly.

And you frown at his tone. You carefully place a hand on his cheek, he turns his head to kiss your palm.

"Anything wrong, you can tell me, Chilchuck." You say in such a reassuring tone, he's almost ready to just spill the beans.

And really, he is.

At the end of the day, he gets to be with you. It's all he's ever wanted since he fell hard and fast for your beauty and wit and warmth, and now you both get to send the rest of your domestic fantasies come true with a kid; a kid that's his and yours, in a house that's his and yours, living a life that will be only his and yours.

Chilchuck smiles gently, genuinely. What's going through some trouble now if it meant he got to spend the rest of his life with you?

[pointpilot]

Untitled Labru Fic

synopsis: laios indulges kabru in his childhood country bumpkin lifestyle. laios is a freak AND kabru learns something about himself

word cont: 935

inspired by my post here

-

“Did you know you can eat these, Kabru?”

Securing his hands around the base of a branch and a leaf which it was tethered to, a rip was heard as he took the leaf into his delicate hand. 

“I supposed I didn’t.” Kabru replied, attentive eyes following the rich green leaf now in front of him. He noticed the fronds had a sort of peach fuzz to them as they caught themselves in the orangey-blue sky. “These are called Winauk leaves, they come from Winauk trees. I’d be careful with eating them all the time, though.” Laios aimlessly waved the leaf around.

“Why?” Kabru queeried, arms folded as he lay his back against this tree. Before looking up at Laios, he admired the open field they relaxed in, tall grass swaying whichever way in the wind while rays of heat gently tingled their skin. 

“Invasive beetles from the Eastern Archipelago are known to carry fungi that infest the leaves. If you eat this leaf with the fungi present, you could get a really bad disease.” 

Laios threw the leaf in his mouth. 

Dumbass!!! Then why would you eat it!?

Kabru screamed in his mind, he then started to say this aloud, but his words came out like this:

“Oh, is that safe to eat then?” He asked with a gentle smile of concern, pointing to Laios’ mouth as he obnoxiously chewed, the blond sitting himself next to him. “I’ve eaten these so much as a child that I can taste the difference. Want one? I’ll taste test it for you!” He gestured his hand towards the branches of the tree. “I promise they’re really good. Almost minty.”

Kabru had an ultimatum. Keep a friendly, albeit flirty relationship with Laios to continue to truly see how his crazy-ass ticked, or get a disease and die. Truly, he was interested in Laios’ history and how it shaped him into the person he is now. Which is why he went out into the vast rural lands of Melini with him to indulge in Laios’ former rural lifestyle. Kabru knew how much he missed his homeland, and used this as an apt opportunity to become closer to him, while also being curious as to what this entailed. 

“I’ll try a leaf.” Kabru forcefully beamed, splaying his palm out so a Winauk leaf could be placed in that empty space. Laios beamed back, rushing up to grab a leaf for Kabru. In all honesty it was quite adorable how excited Laios became introducing Kabru to his former lifestyle. Oh well, it is what it is. If he truly did get sick, Falin could work her magic. 

-----

The next day, Kabru surprisingly didn’t become severely ill and die. Today he walked beside Laios in one of Melini’s many produce fairs. This was the norm for any rural type of area anywhere, and Laios was just geeked to see it. 

Many farmers had their best produce up for sale, beautiful vegetables, fruits, and even monster foods such as basilisk eggs and mimic claws to name a few. Kabru clutched Laios’ flushed arm harder once he saw a sign indicating harpy eggs were for sale, though.  

As they continued to walk through the colorfully vibrant fair, Laios saw something in particular that piqued his interest. 

“Kabru, look! I’d love for you to try these!” Kabru curiously picked his head up from his melting exorcism sorbet, dripping onto his fingers. He opted to just get rid of it as he was getting tired of the sorbet, chucking it in the nearest trash bin. 

By the time he turned around to what Laios was pointing at, his face scrunched and contorted in a way he thought he never could. But only Laios could make him do that.

WILD ANTS AND CRICKETS

No.

Dear goodness no.

This was nowhere near treasure bugs. Monsters had a sort of magical feel to them, a feel that separated them from regular, everyday insects that didn’t feed off of mana, but fed off of the disgusting dung and sediment of the earth.

Kabru’s resolve broke.

“I’m sorry Laios, but—”

Laios had the most joyous expression on his face, placing an order for two small bags of (thankfully) dead crickets and ants. He held them in his hands and beamed towards Kabru. “Falin and I would go out and eat these all the time! Personally my favorite is cheddar crickets, but these’ll do.” 

And just like that, Kabru realized something.

Laios would probably never have an opportunity like this again. He chose Kabru to come with him not only because he cared, but because deep in his heart he knew Kabru was the only person that’d willingly indulge in his fun activities. 

Kabru also didn’t want Laios’ fond memories of them together to be fabricated all for the sake of studying him. 

He genuinely enjoyed Laios’ company, no matter how crazy he was. 

He enjoyed walking barefoot in the tall grass while being surrounded by Winauk trees, he enjoyed how Laios would take him to secret vibrant strawberry patches, and especially enjoyed playing with village dogs together, running with the dogs in wide, open fields.

He obviously despised eating potentially diseased leaves and right now, didn’t even want to look at an insect.

But in a world where resurrection is common, he could die over and over for Laios and deem each of those deaths worth it. It wasn’t like he hasn’t died numerous times already. The only difference now is that he’d die a million times with purpose.

“I’ll eat both.” Kabru gave Laios a closed eyed grin. 

Kabru threw up the insects five minutes later.

[dunmeshistash]

Hey im @holmsister tumblr is tumbling as usual.

About the Maizuru complaint and bad faith interpretation: I feel the same way about POC in this fandom. I didn't really engage in fandoms that have many canon POC because most of my reading in the last years has been historical and classical European lit and nonfiction so like. The racism is baked into the source so to speak. AND im super white so im not going to try and speak out of turn. But moving into a fandom for a recent work of art in which there are important characters of colour has been... enlightening (derogatory). Also not naming names, but the way white characters are extended grace for things the POC are criticised extensively is... enlightening (derogatory). Maizuru, being at the intersection of being a woman and POC, is obviously going to get the brunt of it. Especially because yeah, she's not exactly a pleasant character - yeah, the way she treats the other retainers is not nice. But she is basically a sex slave. Like we can mince our words as much as we like, add in everything about how she is clearly being well-treated and not resentful, etc etc, but she's there to entertain Nakamoto and she can't say no if he comes to her room. All of her privileges are dependent on her pleasing him. That doesn't mean that she can't be abusive in her own right - but like. How old was she when she was taken in by Nakamoto? She's been around since Toshiro was little, remember? Hell, her obsession with being a good retainer with Toshiro might be a way to safely "escape" Nakamoto - after all, if she's following Toshiro around, she's not in her parlour waiting for his father's next visit, and if Toshiro, who has no interest in her, became the next head of the household, she would be allowed to live out her last years in peace. Like this is speculation of course, but it's based on what we know of the character in much the same way any other speculation is - I'm choosing to give her the benefit of the doubt the same way I do for example Laios choosing to join the army.

Sorry for the vent, it's just. The complexity of the characters is a good thing! Stop trying to find a bad guy, you're missing the point! (And showing your ass in the process). everyone has complex motivations!

Truly, people hate nuance and it seems like internalized misogyny and racism amplifies that.

I feel like at least for the racism one there's more awareness and people speak more about it? But I usually see misogyny arguments being dismissed a lot more so I got specially angy at it.

I guess I wanted to find a reason outside misogyny to justify how people treated these character's cause I've seen lots of people being mad about that before about other characters and even thinking myself "It's surely not that bad/widespread, this character is the one that sucks" but when you have a more general view of reactions it becomes painfully obvious.

Thankfully I didn't see the racism against Toshiro (maybe cause I barely post about him) but I can only imagine.

[holmsister]

What everyone gets for breakfast:

Chilchuck: as other post said. anglo-style greasy ass breakfast. Egg is involved, bacon possibly but only on holidays. Watery ass coffee or tea with milk in it

Marcella: every day she asks if they have an empty vegan croissant, they say no, so she takes a bombolone alla crema (fried dough filled with cream). She tried, alright. Caffè espresso (1/147).

Senshi: man can whip out pancakes out of the dirt stuck under his nails and wall plaster whatever it is we just know it's glorious and healthy and nutritional

Laios: he doesn't have a breakfast ritual besides trying to eat as much as possible as fast as possible. Only coffee of the day but only if he wakes before 10am otherwise he cannot sleep

Falin: her ideal breakfast is a nice slice of chocolate cake with whipped cream and a coffee but she often has to settle for less in this cruel world

Toshiro: whatever Maizuru is making

Namari: see chilchuck above except its a slightly more hip place and she flirts with the waitress. She's the type to get steak and a pint of beer for breakfast if she had a very long night/she's feeling festive. I love her

Kabru: HE is the two monsters and an adderall girlie if any of them is. He throws a vitamin gummy in there if he remembers

Mithrun: does the water he uses to choke down his antidepressants count

Fleki: something fried piled up on her plate so high she can't see across the table

Lycion: says he wants raw meat but actually shares her huge plate with Fleki when it turns out she can't actually eat all of that

Pattadol: a green smoothie

Cithis: also a green smoothie but she pours a quarter of vodka in it

Holm: something cute and wholesome like toasted bread with butter and jam and jasmine tea

Rin: mysterious tea-like concoction and one (1) cookie

[nyandaah]

I don't know how to articulate my thoughts on it consicely (as usual, hence why I rarely ever write posts here anymore), but ever since this week's dunmesh ep I can't stop thinking about That scene between toshiro and laios and how it's been talked about as a piece of representation of the neurodivergent struggle.

I've seen those panels countless times before the anime got to it, and I can't understate how Real of a thing it is that we're seeing through laios- that pain and frustration that comes from having the rug pulled under you in being told that been getting it Wrong the whole time and nobody's bothered to point out the donkey tail pinned on your ass.

but I think that's only the first half of the statement, and the way people talk (and don't talk) about toshiro does the moment a disservice.

seeing how people talk about it before getting to the scene itself, it ended up catching me off-guard how much of a Person toshiro is. he's always talked about as the strawman or the figure representing neurotypical society- the one that others us.

I see where it's all coming from, he's not a likeable character to most of the fandom for reasons I won't hold anyone against, but again- he's an important part of the picture that dunmesh paints of the nd struggle.

I find it absurd to portray toshiro as a representation of the 'average'. being both of royalty and of a culture that has instilled upon him his own values and expectations when it comes to socialization. it's why the inclusion of his retainers (especially maizuru) was a brilliant story decision; alongside laios', we get to see HIS social ineptitudes and how central they are to HIS character.

like. a major point of grievance many of the audience has with toshiro is his rose-tinted 'romance' with obviously-uninterested falin. I get it, especially if you've experienced that type of engagement with an unwanted pursuer. but dear lord if that doesn't perfectly parallel him with laios as a fellow Socially Inept Man.

it hit me as much as laios hit me when he said he envied our boy's sincerity. because that's a true and often less talked about part of the neurodivergent struggle(tm)- the difficulty to express your feelings. just like the other end of the spectrum, it hurts yourself as much as it hurts others.

as someone whose brain problems often manifest as social anxiety and feeling like i'm either unable to or unworthy of expressing how I feel, I envy laios too.

tl;dr- there are two characters present in that scene in episode 17.