#laelaerpronouns

[neopronouns-in-action]

Neopronouns in Action #072: A Rumor Grows Like Weed

because I had a funny dream last night. post 1, post 2

Neopronouns: sun/sun/sunself, and lae/laer/laerself, which follow the same rules as it/its/itself

Replace it with sun or lae Replace its with suns or laer Replace itself with sunself or laerself

EX:

"It is going to adopt a new puppy soon, as soon as it gets a fence set up around its yard so the puppy can go outside without it having to walk it. Its uncle is going to help set up the fence, since he has a set of power tools he's letting it use, since it lost its. It's going to buy toys and train the puppy itself."

Becomes:

"Sun is going to adopt a new puppy soon, as soon as sun gets a fence set up around suns yard so the puppy can go outside without sun having to walk it. Suns uncle is going to help set up the fence, since he has a set of power tools he's letting sun use, since sun lost suns. Sun's going to buy toys and train the puppy sunself."

or

"Lae is going to adopt a new puppy soon, as soon as lae gets a fence set up around laer yard so the puppy can go outside without lae having to walk it. Laer uncle is going to help set up the fence, since he has a set of power tools he's letting lae use, since lae lost laer. Lae's going to buy toys and train the puppy laerself."

= = =

sun/suns/sunself lae/laer/laerself

Xanthoxalus let sunself fall back into suns favorite armchair, too exasperated to even try to hide suns annoyance.

“How many times do I have to tell you?” Sun demanded, “I don’t grow weed! Why do you think if you ask me again I’ll change my answer?!”

Cordon smiled, only a little bit sheepish. Not sheepish enough. Lae stood there in laer neon orange waders and black sweater, hands behind laer back, hiding the handful of cash lae’d just tried to bribe Xanthoxalus with to buy pot sun literally didn’t have.

“Well…” Cordan said obnoxiously,“Are you sure you don’t have any? Maybe hidden in a closet somewhere?”

Sun was really, really, really having to resist the urge to summon suns greenbriar vines to form a halo of thorn vines around sun to scare lae away. Or maybe pick lae up and throw lae out entirely.

Sun pushed the urge down, and said instead, flatly, “Are you going to buy the Lucifer-damned spinach or not?”

Cordan pouted. “Of course I am, what do you take me for? But are you sure you won’t sell me any w—”

Sun cut lae off with a snappy, “Winged sumac? Oh sure, I’ve got plenty of that! You’re just in time to harvest the fruit, too, I’ve got one in a three gallon bucket that’s all ready for transplanting.”

Sun glared daggers directly into laer eyes, daring lae to finish the rest of laer original question.

For a few more seconds, Cordan held out, staring back, but laer resolve began to visibly weaken, and finally, hanging laer head, lae said in defeat, “Yes, plantspeaker, I would love a winged sumac too.”

“And what about some swamp milkweed? And sunchokes? Or canna lilies? You know your husband and older wife are always asking after my mashed cannas, now you’ll be able to grow them yourself! I’ll even include the recipe card, and a vial of my special spice blend.” Sun was smiling now, thoroughly enjoying sunself for turning the encounter back on Cordan, who was starting to look nervous. Good. This was the third time lae’d come to suns shop pretending to want to actually buy plants only to insist that Xanthoxalus had some secret stash of marijuana plants hidden somewhere that sun was just neglecting to share with anyone else.

(Sarcasm) Because sun was definitely the sort of person to not share with suns community. Which was why sun was constantly sharing recipes, food, and other plant products with the rest of town. (end sarcasm).

“Well, I know Tabula wanted some milkweed to start attracting the monarchs...and Uchenna was just admiring your cannas the other week...and…” lae trailed off, hesitating.

Xanthoxalus was waiting for lae to ask for weed again. If lae did, sun was not going to hold back with the thorny vines.

But lae was safe for now, because lae just said, almost shyly, “Do you have any persimmons left?

Sun smiled, with actual cheerfulness this time instead of malice, thinking of the multiple trees waiting for suns go-ahead to finish ripening their fruits. “Oh yes.” Sun said, “I was hoping you’d ask that!”

“And are you sure you don’t have --”

“Don’t you finish that sentence!”