#lae'zel really said: you want to fuck each other so bad it makes you look stupid

[maegalkarven]

An interlude. What now?

Happens between Empty Prayers and Dreams of Red.

Nemo tries to be serious and Think of the Future. It backfires.

Characters: Dark Urge (Nemo), Enver Gortash, Astarion, Karlach, Wyll, Shadowheart, Gale, Lae'zel.

TW: mentions of cannibalism, questionable way to raise children (Nemo wtf), canon-typical Durge behavior.

Info about Nemo's assassins:

https://www.tumblr.com/maegalkarven/732101148639707136/so-i-actually-created-most-of-the-notable?source=share

"You do realize we all are doomed, right?" The question comes out of nowhere amidst of one of the calmest nights they have. It breaks the feeble illusion of peace right away.

"Now, you don't have to put it like that," Gale tries. "We still have some choices-"

"Blowing yourself up is not a choice," Wyll cuts out, uncharacteristically sour.

"But-"

"No, Gale," Shadowheart agrees. "No more stupid self-sacrifices for the gods who do not deserve that. Besides, you remember what Gortash said? What if you have done as Mystra wanted you to and detonated the orb in the illithid colony, it would turn every parasite-infested person into mindflayer?"

"I'm not sure how much we can trust a word of the former Chosen of Bane."

"Fair," the former Chosen of Shar agrees. "I wouldn't trust him either. But something tells me this time he was telling the truth."

"He also sits just across you, if your memory is that fragile," Gortash comments. "And thank you, not like I was thinking of impending doom and our deaths for every hour of every day now."

"Not like you kickstarted this whole event," Karlach comments.

"And what would you have me to do, let Orin kill Nemo?"

"Well, you could have not tried to conquer the world using the extremely dangerous magical artifact and, you know, the Elder Brain."

"You keep saying that, but I have yet to hear a single idea how to fix it and for us, you know, not die drastically and like fools."

"Everyone always dies like a fool," Astarion comments. "Death is dumb like that."

"If you'd only let me finish," Nemo raises his voice. "And stopped this 'woe are us, we are doomed' crying-"

"We are listening," Wyll tries. "Oh, well, at least I am trying to."

Nemo sends him a grateful look.

"Alright, let's start it anew, you literal bickering children-"

"Hey-"

"Gortash started it-"

"Oh, fuck off-"

"Quiet," and surprisingly, they all quiet down. This is who Nemo is forced to work with these days. Unbelievable.

"We are screwed. This is not me being overly dramatic, this is not me being pessimistic, this is the actual truth we're dealing with. The Elder brain has one stone and if it wasn't breaking out of the hold before - which he was, very much - it's clearly out of it now. Now, the questions why it hasn't turned everyone into mindflayers and why it's playing laying low for now is a mystery, but-“

"It's luring us back to it," Astarion comments. "What? Can't we offer our thoughts too? I didn't know it's One Man show you're having here."

"You have no idea how many people have been stabbed over interrupting him mid speech," Gortash comments. "Me included."

"Oh yeah, well, maybe try to not talk over me, asho-"

"I wasn't talking over you-"

"Just like you aren't doing it now?" Nemo glares at him. "You're lucky I need you alive."

"Thank you oh so kindly, the gracious one-"

"Tsk'va," Lae'zel interrupts the quarrel. "You two desire to tear into each other’s flesh so much it makes you stupid. Go get the urges out of the system and come back when you're capable of being rational."

This comment, made with intention of calming things down, has rather the opposite effect.

"You're the one to talk," Nemo hisses as his face reddens.

"I do not ‘desire to tear into his flesh’," Gortash argues.

Astarion laughs.

"Yes, and I am not a vampire spawn."

"Can we not fight?" Wyll, an unfortunate voice of reason amidst this chaos.

"Oh, I don't know," Gale smirks. "I rather find it amusing to watch."

"You know what?" Nemo snaps. "Go on, detonate this orb. I'm done with it."

"Now I'm not going to, purposely because you asked me so nicely."

"I fucking hate this family."

"Karlach, you already said that."

"It doesn't mean I hate it any less."

"I miss my children," Nemo suddenly chimes in. "They listened to me."

"Your who?"

"Oh, please," Gortash snorts. "I once saw one of your children stab her brother over something minor."

"It was their brother and it was nothing minor. He took their target, that's just rude."

"I'm sorry," Gale tries. "Can we backtrack now? What children are you talking about now?"

Nemo blinks at them.

"Oh," he exclaims. "My assassins, of course, the ones I personally brought into the fold."

"And the reason you address them as children is because..?"

"They were orphans Nemo picked up from the streets," Gortash mentions. "At least that's what I was told."

"Excuse me, what?" Karlach, indignation flaring with her fire. "You stole children?"

"First of all, it's kidnapped and not stole. Second of all, they came willingly," Nemo scoffs. "And really, do you think they had any other choice? Do you think any good life was waiting for them? I saved their lives."

"You've abducted children into the cult and made them killers," Wyll speaks. "Nemo, this is-"

"Wrong?" He interrupts. "How wrong can it truly be? They would die without me, or better yet, get killed. Do you think there's mercy for a girl who took a life of her stepfather? Whose mother blamed her for the murder even if said stepfather was in dire need of killing?" He pierces Wyll with a sharp stare.

"Do you think Flaming Fists would save a little tiefling boy with too much magic in his blood? Do you think they'd get to the mad crowd in time and protect the boy from it? Do you think they'd even care?  A tiefling child, an evil child, a hellspawn. No one would miss him, no one would cry for him. And," he smiles and this smile looks poisonous.

"Do you think your honorable father would spare a child whose survival was linked to the deal with the fiend? Do you think he, who exiled his own son, would look at destruction of the House Et'rris, at the only surviving its member, linked to a devil, and help them? Save them?" His voice drops to a low tone.

"How dare you judge me? You were not there to save these children, I was. What did I do but gave them a second chance? What did I do but gave them home? Where else would they go? Who else would feed starving orphans on the streets, Duke Ravengard?" He laughs an ugly, bitter laugh.

"The Council of Four? Don't be ridiculous, they never even looked down to see the low folk struggling. Those children, all those children would die if not for me. From the so-called justice, from an angry mob, from prison, from starvation. I found them, fed them, cared for them. I made them best of the best, the perfect murderers, the perfect shadows of the night. And who can hurt them now, when they're the worst things haunting Baldur's Gate? Who would dare to strike at them but their own? I made them strong."

The stunned, eerie silence falls over the camp.

Then Karlach raises her voice.

"What did you feed them with?"

"This is irrelevant."

"No, it's not."

"It was a good meat: not rotten, not touched by any diseases, I even cooked it-"

"I fed children the human flesh?!" Gale asks in horror.

"Of course you'd assume it was human," Nemo scoffs. "It was elven too, you know. Some dwarf meat, even halfling or tiefling there and there-"

"You did what?!"

"It was that or starving on the streets! And anyway, I was fed humanoid flesh my entire life and I turned out alright-"

Astarion scoots a little closer to Gortash.

"He did not turn out alright," the pale elf whispers, watching the argument rising to new, dangerous heights. "And you knew that, didn't you?"

"What Nemo eats flesh?" Gortash hums. "It wasn't a big secret."

"And what he feeds his...children the same?"

"It's a Cult of Murder," the man shrugs. "One expects some level of atrocities from it."

"That's not the answer."

"That's the one you'll get," Astarion watches Gortash watching Nemo, a small satisfies smile dancing on his lips. "I don't particularly care what he feeds his assassins, only what all of them seem to care very little for table manners."

"So I'm guessing you've met them?"

"Yes."

"...What are they like?"

"Why don't you ask their benefactor that and not the man who saw them once or twice?"

"Because their benefactor is currently in a screaming match with our companions," Astarion's shrugs. "Though he seems to be holding his ground just alright."

Gortash snorts.

"He used to lead fifty or so bloodthirsty murderers and made it look easy," another long, heavy look at Nemo. "He is good at handling people. Bhaal convinced Nemo the best thing a bhaalshapwn can be is a perfect blade, which is a shame, really. Nemo would do wonders in high court; he has enough charisma and intelligence to wrap the nobles around his fingers without them so much as noticing it.”

"It sounds like you admire him," Astarion comments, trying very hard not to feel slighted at that. Of course tyrant admires his nearest in dearest, it was to be expected. And anyway, doesn’t Nemo deserve to be admired?

But why does it sit so ill against his skin?

"Of course I admire him," the tyrant replies, not even looking away from the assassin. "He is brilliant. His part in our plans is not to be overlooked; everything came falling apart the moment Orin replaced him. Bhaal might have been content with a mad woman who could not control her urges, but our plan could not. She made a mess of things, ruined several of carefully constructed plans and hadn't even noticed. The amount of people I had to tadpole simply because Orin was acting unwise is-" he sighs. "Where Nemo would just waltz into the room, smile and bullshit his way through everything, Orin made things worse."

Astarion hums.

"I once saw Nemo convince an orthon to kill his minions, then his pet, then himself," he mentions. "So I can easily see him doing that."

"An orthon?" Gortash looks surprised. "Where in the Nine Hells did you find an orthon?"

"In a Gauntlet of Shar," Astarion shrugs. "He made an ill-fitted deal with Raphael and tried to get out of it. Nemo tricked him into false getaway."

Three's a long silence after that.

"Raphael," Gortash speaks slowly, as if tasting the words. "It's been a while since I've heard that name. How did you stumble into him?"

"More like he stumbled into us. He appeared from the thin air, laid heavy on those sweet talks of his and tried to talk Nemo into a deal. Probably still trying, all things considered. I am not sure what exactly he wants from Nemo, but he is insistent."

Gortash grows silent once more.

"I would advise against strikingly any deals with that particular devil," he comments after a pause. "Deals with him are even fouler than the deal with the devil would be expected to be. Raphael is clever; he is patient and knows how to play the game. Worst of all, he is at advantage of knowing Nemo while Nemo does not know him, and in the position where he is holding a grudge against the dear assassin of mine."

Astarion bites down the bitter taste of the way Gortash claims Nemo as his.

This can wait. His questions would not.

"Why would he hold a grudge against Nemo?"

Gortash actually laughs, a short lived and curt sound, but laugh none less.

"Because Nemo has done something Raphael failed to do. Raphael has been lusting after the Crown of Karsus for millennia, but was never able to relieve it from Mephistopheles' vault. Together Nemo and I successfully orchestrated and executed the plan what brought the crown into our hands."

So this is what Raphael wants.

"He is after the crown," Astarion comment. "And he thinks Nemo will be able to get it for him."

Gortash nods.

"And I can't express enough how this is absolutely a thing what cannot happen. Raphael is bad enough without a otherworldly power what is the Crown of Karsus in his claws."

"So," Astarion studies the man closely. "Better the crown in your hands then?"

Gortash smiles.

"Providing what we can get it off Elder Brain first and live," he comments. "But yes."

[baldurspeen69420]

Follow-up question about Byron, your dashing sailor! How does he feel about his new traveling companions? How do they fit into his grand new adventure?

You're awesome, thank you for facilitating my nerd-out session.

Byron is going to be traveling with Shadowheart, Lae'zel, and Astarion for his adventure (I like to keep one consistent group, Gale, Wyll, and Karlach are going to be my squad for playthrough 2 though!).

After growing up with infernal heritage and spending years with various crews and shipmates, I think Byron has a soft spot for outcasts and misfits.

He respects Lae'zel for guiding them through the Nautiloid and can see past her brusque demeanor (he worked with /sailors/ after all, not always polite company). He knows people have a lot more to them than what meets the eye, but also woman who swing sword good is always a valuable asset to a team. That being said, while there are some things he can overlook, he won't take all of her shit talk. I'm hoping they'll reach a mutual respect and friendship over the course of their journey!

After saving Shadowheart on the ship, the two already have a decent foundation of respect. You watch out for me, I'll watch out for you. He minds her privacy and values her input. The Shar reveal was a bit of a shock, but fuck it, they've come this far together and Byron has seen stranger things. Her faith is her own and they're working towards a common goal, welcome aboard. While he doesn't get the Shar allegiance thing, he's open to understanding Shadowheart and perhaps eventually show her she has other options, people who care for her besides a Goddess who wants to plunge the world into darkness. Basically, he'll be there for her when things fall apart as a shoulder to lean on. She's crew, and loyalty is everything.

Astarion's the wild card here, of all people. I think Byron can't quite get a beat on him like Shadow or Lae and that intrigues him. He's also a man who values freedom and independence, so when Astarion reveals his *tragic past* Byron empathizes strongly and that's what seals the deal. Astarion's part of his team and he owes it to him to see Cazador brought down. The two butt heads at times about personal philosophy. Byron isn't a fan of using the tadpole but understands why Astarion wants to, just as he understands why Astarion sees the acquisition of power as a virtue (though he vehemently disagrees). He also keeps his vampire spawn friend's most chaotic impulses in check, unless the situation calls for a less measured approach. I like to think they understand each other even if they don't always agree, and Byron genuinely thinks Astarion is very funny so that helps. The casual flirting doesn't hurt his ego either . . . And Astarion isn't exactly a bad looking man by any stretch. Why turn down a "night of fun", really? Where that night goes is yet to be seen.

Basically, I want to take this ragtag group of weirdos and show them the world and its people can be good and decent. I do worry about Byron's bend toward heroism alienating them in the beginning, but I think I can do party politics well enough to keep everyone on board. I love these three because I'm so excited to see their plotlines develop them for the better and I think they make such an entertaining group together.