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what2watch2night · 8 years ago

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‘If Pain Must Come, MAY It Come Quickly...’Paulo Coelho

*Or more like come what MEH!

And just like that, May came with Cannes and now officially all bets are (kinda) on for award races…

But sadly, once again, this year, the festival did not bring (some of) its goods to the theater for the non 1% on the Croisette ;(

So the rest of us - as usual - have to wait patiently anxiously for whenever those films to get distributed in any form or length near us!! (Yep, that is the sound of our incessant blame on the distribution system…that’s right ;) )

Therefore, for the “normal folks” who only get to see what’s ‘available’ right now on demand or at the Theater, this May was another “meh-diocre” movie month…

No major alert on the critic, box-office, or movie-fanatic sides expect maybe few exception for the last group will always manage to find “greatness in darkness” #blessthem / #blessus! Whether it was on a small or BIG screen these May releases brought their load of disappoint-rather boredom- with many films that will soon be forgotten; for better or worse things! However, and as usual, indies / art-house projects managed to bring some comfort and spark some of this glorious ‘lights of Cinema’ that will abound in months to come (hopefully!)

So, as un-impressive, as this month was for things to watch ( outside of Cannes Film Festival!!!) let’s briefly recap what was to be watched this month and why no matter how good or meh’ you shall watch them!!

KING ARTHUR: LEGEND OF THE SWORD 7.5/10

Needles to say that this one divided its viewer, as if the legendary sword cut them clean, straight and in the middle!

"Opening weekend box office in the US was never a great way to judge a film, but now it looks positively ridiculous; a movie about a British legend like King Arthur was never going to make a killing at the US box office. It isn’t meant for them."

That being said, KING ARTHUR: LEGEND OF THE SWORD definitely feels like it was made for a global audience; or a-la “Hollywood sauce…hence aimed to make some big buck in the US too.

But all in all, Guy Ritchie directed quite an unusual film, surely not the best we’ve seen so far but surely one of the most interesting movie of the year!

Like in all good Ritchie movie this one is packed with a lot of stuff and arousing non-sense, some are good and other are…let’s say missed opportunities!

The good stuff

Modernity and diversity: As mentioned before, this is a refreshing twist on a cult legend and it is somehow invigorating to see how modern this piece set in middle age ( or sometime ago when people lived in dusty castle and all!)

In "Same same but different" it was very clever to use a young "street" version of Arthur to create a GAME OF THRONE meets SNATCH hybrid or kind of… So, of course the story would recall GOT and having little finger and few other characters from the show helped a lot! But the idea of bringing a touch of modern dialogue/intonation - mostly British. Preferably involving stuff like a kings and lords shouting stereotypical 'bollocks and wankers' insult at each other! (It might not have happened in the film but could have very well be!) Then the myth and legend get the SNATCH treatment thanks to some great Guy Ritchie scenes involving his usual good editing style + speed.

And last but not least, these wonderful flashbacks of stories full of action and glorious interruption to add to the madness were perfection of King Arthur And The Legendary Thugs!

The not-so-good stuff

The lack or wrong use of music...It is sad when one have to think that the visual was not matched by a good old rock & roll soundtrack all along…However there clearly was some attempts

The definite lack of women and woc. Even though some of the 'lads of the tables' might be POC - and that is admirable considering that "period" film usually & conveniently sticks to the "beige" – it did not seems like enough as they were neither first nor secondary characters but mere supporting dudes. As for the women…Well, so far all of dem' were whores and "witches" and to be killed after ushering few lines…And all of dem' white! How sad that, Morgana from MERLIN is in this and she should have been the mage! Also, if they would have stick to the MERLIN pool and bring us a "black-smith" daughter as Guinevere (but a bad-ass one preferably, fighting instead of just being pretty) and we would have not complain either!

A pro and a con at the same time: the lack of "History" for the lovers of the Arthurian legends & myth... It is not so much the lack of it, as this is not to the kind of film designed to "stick to the script", but it is more about the uneven disappointing way it was integrating into the story. It felt like they spent so much money on other things, then suddenly, remembered what the movie was about and so they lazily made this about the sword and the round-table! For real tho, why did they even need the Lady of the lake here!! As if they bought the right to the character and just used it because... “Why the F not!?” Guy Ritchie would say! For all we care at this point in the movie -*and without revealing much- if not nothing - a leprechaun or a fairy could have done her job and we would have still know it was a "King Arthur sword thing" and still enjoyed the hell out of this movie...

MORAL OF THE STORY

So the men/women, the myths, the legends; sometime, best you either take them as a whole or you change it for the better... Cuz THIS is just messy messy! And so, for once we wish they focused less on the "real" story (unless they made more sense out of it!)

Also Charlie Hunman is defo being position as the more “family friendly /approachable Tom Hardy” expect thinking about the prospect of Tom Hardy vs Jude law in this…It would have been a delight!! Or maybe not as US audience probably already had hard time following the whole thing and would complaint even more if Hardy was in it asking about having subtitles...to then complain about not wanting to see it all together because they don't wanna read the damn subs! But nervermind the who ‘shouldda-coudda-woulda’ been in this (like King Elba!), watch KING ARTHUR for the good cast chemistry and in general Jude law BECAUSE he is everything in those few over-the-top-of-the-freaking-top “villain-acting scenes:! But still, we cannot keep seeing his Young Pope (possible ancestor!) So all hail to King Young Pope

HOUNDS OF LOVE 7.7/10

The less you know the ‘better’ this movie is…

Although it is inspired by a true story and stay quite close to the original events - the terrifying ordeal and abduction of teenage girl in Western Australia in the 87’ by a disturbed couple – the director took few creative liberty who elevated the film from what could have been another Australian horror story a-la-Wolf-Creek into an arty indie tense drama . A movie, just like SPLIT, that share similar premises and tropes, who turn a sheer horror and urban legends into a study of the human psyche, but where SPLIT went all bonkers (and very Night Shyamalan!), HOUNDS OF LOVE went for the realness of it all, toying with our rational fears…

MORAL OF THE STORY

Again, without revealing too much of it we can say that HOUNDS OF LOVE might strangely share more with MOONLIGHT than it does with movie of its genre and that is what makes unique and 2017 must-watch for cinephile and indie-lover.

But if you need more convincing watch it because it possesses the following:

Perfect dosage of human emotion

Stunning visual

Impressive attention to creative details

Great acting

Heartbreaking realism coupled with almost surrealistic mood-setters

Terrifying to watch yet extremely compelling …

NOTE: Another year another creepy Aussie movie huh!? So, if one were to study modern Australian cinema one will soon realize that it is full of disturbing stories and/or disturbed people...(to name few things: The Babadook, Animal Kingdom, Chopper, Sleeping Beauty, Candy, Little Fish, Snowtown, Somersault, Mad Max, The Dressmaker, Downunder, The Rover, Wolf Creek, The Proposition, Mel Gibson, and even every creepy AF performances by Nicole Kidman!!) What does that say!! Never go alone in the never-never and bushes or never hitchhike with suspicious bogans or do drug with psychos or get into trouble with "queens" in the desert or DON'T LEAVE YOUR BABY OUTSIDE TO BE EATEN BY A DINGO!!!???

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It's alright tho as long as these films look good and bring us great acting (and funny lines!) we will keep watching those terrifying movies on a big screen or prepared for nightmares hidden under a blanket watching on a smaller screen

3 GENERATIONS / ABOUT RAY 6.6/10

A films that we were supposed to see years ago, it had few screenings at major film festival 2014 and despite mixed reviews and some degree of controversy it was still positioned as a possible award- contender or at least a "film that would make wave" as it has Weinstein Co. behind it. But none of that happened and, as sadly do many films, it looked like this festival screenings were it for now and the "general public" would have to suffer through the anxiety of maybe never seeing the film because of drama ( like from that same TIFF batch London Field got a massive buzz only to be kill by lawsuit and maybe be released one day for the unlucky 'commoners' who did not get the chance to see it!) or waiting for ages until they could find it legally somewhere...Hence, these type of movies -"the festival lost" - always at best, loose their release momentum but might become hidden gem on VOD platform and at worse be 'gone with the wind' with only hope of becoming movie myth and trivia material...

3 GENERATIONS, previously titled ABOUT RAY, seem to have lost the momentum but "luckily" manage to find an "appropriate timing" where the LGBTQIA and gender bathroom issue are making the headline more than ever despite being criticized by its approach of it.

On a moral / production point of view, the problem with the film was about the casting of Ray. The main protagonist (as the previous title indicated -ABOUT RAY- before they possibly reshuffle the film to be more about the famillial process). It might have been the right thing to cast a trans actor or even an 'ambiguous' one instead of a NEON DEMONS model-like actress especially in this day an age where more and more we see how it works when the right people portray right characters (as in also, whitewashing prove that the contrary could be a big mistake!) describes to his very young half-siblings how he is “sort of” their brother. (“I was born in a girl’s body.”) . The conversation on how trans should be represented on screen has evolved, with more moviegoers calling for trans characters being portrayed by trans actors, instead of such roles being an opportunity for cis-gender…

As to the film experience or on cinematic POV the film long arrival to the screens and the re-cut must have surely affected the quality of this movie as many viewers will notice how patch-together the whole thing feels. Moment of sadness, artsy bits, or scene straight-out of a comedy ( mostly featuring Susan Sarandon as a Lesbian grandmother in a movie surprisingly and for better or worse portraying a same-sex relationship as just another friendship! If the character did not mention it, people would just assume they were just close friends leaving together for some reasons a la FRANKIE AND GRACE!)

MORAL OF THE STORY

This is definitely an important movie and a story that need to be told. It is full of good intention, delivered by a very passionate Elle Faning and entertaining supporting cast but unfortunately it is not diffusing feeling hard enough and might seems lacking "realness". All in all, this movie would have benefited from a darker approach instead of the many intentionally funny scenes and so by being much more targeted at an audience ready to "see it all" (even if it would have definitely involve tougher rating) ABOUT RAY/3 GENERATION could have possibly been an award contender...But maybe; maybe, it will still end up gaining recognition from LGBTQIA / teen organization but like mentioned in its Pajiba review 'this is not a movie for the woke, but the waking.'

PIRATES 5 DEAD MAN TELLS NO TALES or PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: SALAZAR'S REVENGE...whatever ya say (dead) man! 6/10

A movie coming too late (or too soon depending on your story perspective and memories) from the rest of his family that you might not enjoy this sequel as much as you enjoy the original or ones before; but at the end you’ll be like INSERT MEH GIF

It doesn’t really matter as it was almost a “duty” to watch this one no matter how good or how bad you knew it would be.

So in a nutshell PIRATES 5 consist of:

A good visual

A good pace

Although

too many plot-holes

And

WAYYYYYYYY too many nonsense (Jack Sparrow being the least of your worry here and that is what is worrying!!

Because of

too many story lines/arcs

Hence

A lot of underdeveloped characters crowding what’s important (eg: we want/Need more of that Geoffrey Rush/daughter story background and maybe that will be a good reason/idea to involve prequel in the PIRATES mix!)

Also

It is not Johnny Depp not best ...Sad to see that (putting asides his real life character and wrongs that appear to clouds his name... ) Depp deserve to come back and maybe work harder (just work!) for all that good money he is given! Now we can only hope he goes back to the indie side and give us another BLACK MASS (we are still not over the fact that he should have won or at least get a nom’ at the OSCARS for this performance ;( ) and get himself some recognition for his true talent in the process (bringing the real scary creep-creep vibe to the max! As in not the fun Burton-esque creepy but the violent-psycho-outburst type of creepy). We all should know by now that Depp no matter what people think can acts when he wants to act "seriously"…

MORAL OF THE STORY

Not much can be said here, but it is the kind of movie you might want to see fresh out of the can on a big screen as much of this PIRATE value is in the visual. You certainly will enjoy it while watching as it is BIG AND LOUD despite the bad ( again, the pace makes it easy for it to wash over quickly as everything and scenes move/rush from one thing to another - for better or worse) and when the credit rolls, and with that ending (so pointless no need to spoil it!), the only thing coming to mind is 'meh- okay!' /gif/

Then coming out of the theater you will quickly forgot about everything as this movie have no after-taste, may it be good or bad. It is not great but not bad either, it is not a total waste of time as it is quite bland yet entertaining. Pirates 5 is the epitome of “the fun almost inoffensive summer movie” or it is what summer blockbuster PG rated (or "family oriented") should be about or used to be about!? Guess with the like of SUICIDE SQUAD or previous adult-oriented Summer hit we tend to forgot the good ol' 80s-00's mildly offensive movie-style!

Overall this is such a Disneyland movie (see what we did here! Not a DISNEY film but defo a Disneyland made movie as in TOMORROWLAND and such!) Meaning it was a Great ride! But then nothing much coming out of it as it comes too short of anything.

ALIEN: COVENANT 4.9/10

Geezzz just like PROMETHEUS so much delicious goodness only to be eaten by so much stupid monster...Well it is ALIEN so why did you expect!? (NEVER FORGET THAT IN SPACE NO-ONE CAN SEE YOU ROLLING YOUR EYES! ;) )

To start with, one would have expected a much more sensical storyline with such a good premise. The first act was good and then it get spooky in a good way adding a little bit of mystery and myth but then all went down when the actual monster came to life! Many problems:

1. Why would a bunch of scientist make so many obvious "science" stupid mistakes: like going on a foreign planet without suit to protect them for possible contamination from air or CRAZY-PLANT-POLLENS!

2. Why would a 'very advance' psycho-megalo-AI-Fassbender think the most 'perfect creation' is an awful looking creature inspiring no trust at all with such dentition! Where did he get the idea for this visual IT MAKES NO FRIKING SENSE [insert Tell me more/ i fell like ive taken crazy pill gif] considering it/he was build knowing all the finest art piece and beautiful thing that exist on planet Earth!? We know this is the ALIEN franchise but for the love of all the logic, why did they not change the visual of the Aliens so they be realistically matching what an art-lover like David/Walter would create...Maybe somehting ressembling him or Shaw or the people from PROMETHEUS ...dunno but anything else would have make much more sense if we going the pseudo-realistic scify route ( which is the best ;) see PLANET OF THE APES, INCEPTION, 2001 A SPACE ODYSSEY..)

3. Folks, hang on to your seat cuz that's not just it! Because not only we have creation looking like Aliens in ALIEN because this is the movie and we have to make peace with it, but then why oh why do they have such an insane 'evolution'!? They go the full Darwin in like 20second ( a-la LIFE, to its merit that was mainly the only problem with this movie who might as well be better than COVENANT for this...). Those creations have such a rapid and nonsensical evolution from "crazy-pollen" getting into your holes (that you did not protect because you are a scientist who have faith in a weird undiscovered planet!) growing inside a human host in less than a day to baby alien/dog ripping you apart to get out.. But wait there's more! Then there's also a variant being an octopus-mask looking alien (coming out of nowhere!) suffocating you while injecting something ( an egg!?) in you that will become a little alien growing full adult instantly!!!!

So yep, if there was a proper and even longggg explanation of the why's and how's of this by A.I.-Fassbender we will take it over the weird, maybe unecessary A.I. brother bonding and flute learning...Such a beautiful melody for such an horrendous creature!!

Caption:Worst bunch of scientist ever!!

MORAL OF THE STORY

Despite making very little sense like its predecessor, COVENANT feature solid performance by a very satisfying cast but it would have been good to find a way to use the potential of the like of Carmen Ejogo or Damian Bichir. The last act and ending - like often in this kind of film- is rushed to 'kill-them-all-but', 'blow-shit-up' and good action sequence where they "finally" 'kill-the motherf*$#r' ! Well, we all know how that will end up eventually and 'know' that this is not the end...

Last but not least, James Franco was in it but not really in it!? Why did they do that, we could have finally have a good/weird/much-needed Franco/Fassbender encounter but instead they decided to give more screen time to allow a bland Fassbender doing weird A.I. stuff and creating ugly looking monster...

LADY MACBETH 7/10

This is an intriguing film that unfortunately suffers from many inconsistencies.

While at first this film might appear rather bleak and lacking of life, its actress might keep you intrigued until the film can sustain itself with all its genuine tour-de-force.

This is a story set, in a time of corset and all about 'women should be good housewives' and 'rich have all the rights' and other shenanigans of the time, takes place in cold, grey and windy England in a sad and cold-looking house all this setting the tone for this unhurried and austere The thing is, the poster read 'a modern twist on...' and we are left wondering what is so modern about it. If they literally would have transposed this story in this day and age, or in the 21st century, it would have made sense but alas none of this happened...

That being said this movie could have been a real it or a indie cult following if it did not had the following problems:

The BIG Problem is with the film rhythm and uneven approach to the genre. The first act is too slow, the second act in pacing to the action and the third act got us confused!

Problem with the music: If maybe they would have use "modern" music properly juxtapose throughout (which would have been great by the way!) Think of LADY MACBETH as a movie like CHILDHOOD OF A LEADER without the delightfully disturbing soundtrack (and the deliciously psychopath kid!)

Problem with the visual: We could tell it looked stunning but it seems like the lighting – or lack of fit- did not do the movie justice…

The plot-holes:

How did Catherine end up here and why can't she not leave the house and why are they having a problem to begin with...just WHYYY???

Why was Anna being hanged; was it voluntary ( as it 'logically seems' or was it something more dramatic and straight away showing the very dark nature yet childish of Catherine of ignoring it and focusing on Sebastian?

What is the beef between the father and son, is it because of the 'love-child'? Well, at some point after Catherine killed her husband as he found out she has been having an affair with a house boy, someone bring the 'heir' to house as it is assume the father is "missing"...The thing is why did Catherine not just take the child and send the mother away? Although it makes sense considering she have a childish attitude and is only acting "bad" in the spur of the moment rather than over-calculating...But one have to wonder did she premeditate the death of her father-in-law ( who chocked to death eating mushroom) or did she just take advantage of the situation as it arrived...

Also and *SPOILER; Florence Pugh prove to be a worthy newcomer showing a strong range of acting, however, and possibly because of the 'theatrical' direction style, she seems off-key in some major scene...Particularly the final 'twist' when she is supposed to convincingly lie when accusing her lover/Sebastian of lying about the fact that they killed her husband's child ( he was telling the truth!)! She blame her domestic for the (unnecessary) murder of the child and guess what...Everybody, INCLUDING A PRIEST - who knew that she was a wife cheater- believes her! Because...she is the white, rich, the lady of the house, more trustworthy?! Well, we cannot contradict a book that was written long time ago, but this makes very little sense in the fact and on top of the act the acting of this scene was somehow off-putting almost comedic; thus clashing with the intensity of the gruesome killing an child...Hence the viewer is left feeling very little of the pain and suffering and more left in a confusing and ackward-ness, even as the innocent maid is unfairly condemned for the crime she did not commit...

MORAL OF THE STORY

Slow and unsettling yet intriguing enough (for you not to get bored by all the long "tres-European-style-silence") first act setting up the mood; very good and promising yet lacking the "could-have-make-a-difference intensity second act; and a rushed yet satisfying ending.

LADY MACBETH is the kind of solid movie you know you have to watch but might not / rarely be in a mood for!

Ideas: Good pairing with Brimstone for a ‘woman living in a dangerous time & in painful dresses’ double-bill!

LAST WORD 3/10

LOVESONG 6.8/10

The story could have been better but the chemistry between the two main actress and character in general make us wonder if this was not improvised * in a good way!) ...That kid tho!

WIZARD OF LIES 6.5/10

Technically TV Movie but hey with such a cast Movie takes the lead… but then again nowadays have to wonder where to draw the lines…

Was expecting a little bit more out of this one but still was interesting to see DeNiro in this!

FOLK HERO AND FUNNY GUY 3.8

The songs were real good the rest not so much!

UNLOCKED 4/10

SNATCHED 1/10

At this point one either know if they keep watching anything involving Amy Schummer because they “have to” or because they actually this kind of humor think it is funny…Well, the consensus (and common- sense!) seems to agree on the former…

BUSTER'S MAL HEART 5.5/10

Can we see Rami Maleck in a non Franco-the-weirdo role!?

Although, psychotic and delirious people with imaginary friend fits him like a gloves!!

Also this movie looks real good and beautiful bleak scenery suits Malek bleck but poignant acting style too: subtle but enigmatic!

WAR MACHINE 4/10

This should have been a comedy? Was this suppose to be a BIG SHORT kinda genre, if so that might be the problem! The drama part is doing its job as there;s not so much to lough about sadly...

BAYWATCH 4/10

THOUGHTS: Not so much of a bay to watch!

Was Kevin Hart supposed to be in this, cuz if so, it would make sense as this look like a CENTRAL INTELIGENCE sequel as opposed to a beach-kinda-flick ….and Effron is good in it but many of us (still) believe he would be a much better as an "indie- drama" actor with a humorous fibre (* maybe remember PAPERBOY!!_ Than trying really hard to be “the hot guy in the supposedly funny movies...

Also waste of great cameo opportunities…

Also, why do every Effron or The Rock movies rely so heavily on Top40 soundtrack!? The music budget must have been as big as their stunt budget: impressive but quite inefficient as a whole

‎MORAL OF THE STORY:

Priyanka Chopra might be the best thing in this movie…Damn she is a good vilain and would be a great Bond villain too thinking of it!

If there's a sequel we will watch anyway but we can only wish the original character by Pamela Anderson and ‘The Hoff’ will get more screen time this time around or a more meaningful purpose! And let’s hope that this possible next movie will have much to do with the beach and less to do with pretending to be a “cop buddy movie”.

...

So what’s after the month of “Meh”... June with all the glam gloom!?

#movie #FILM #film recommendation #Movie Recommendation #what to watch tonight #what2watch2night

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