#l0tr fandom I’m so sorry

[thefanciestborrower]

Hmmm…

Ok but now that I’m thinking about it… h/obbits definitely vore. Like, that would 100% be a thing in their culture. They’re just some peaceful, fun-loving folks who value creature comforts, trust/loyalty, and fostering relationships with their community . And you know how they feel about meals. That’s like, h/obbit 101. Mealtime = bonding time. And what better way to accomplish that than combining the things they love into one convenient package? Dozing off after dinner in a rocking chair by the fireplace with one hand holding a pipe, the other happily patting their belly… they’ve got their tiny friends inside to keep them company as they all fall asleep in their post-meal bliss, perhaps humming them a merry little tune… it’s definitely an image I can imagine very easily.

I can also definitely see it being a thing that doesn’t really translate well outside of h/obbit society. Like, they bring it up so cheerfully and casually, and everyone else is like “You do WHAT after dinner??” XD

Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh this is 100% the truest and most adorable thing I have ever had the pleasure of reading and that imagery is just so precious 🥺. H/obits don’t exactly have much in the way of magic when compared to elves and dwarves, but this odd little trick is really something they’ve gotten quite good at. No one really remembers where it came from or how the practice started, but they don’t exactly care too much either. It’s simply a nice after dinner way to relax and bond with each other, and makes storytelling that much more fun when you get to listen from inside your friend’s belly. Eating a friend after sharing a meal together is a just such a natural thing to them that no one even considers it might not be something the other races practice. Also, if the practice is mostly a cozy after dinner thing then that would give h/obbits a really interesting perspective on sharing their friend’s belly with a bit of food. They see that aspect as pretty normal and not at all gross or weird, and would probably freak out if they found themselves falling into an empty belly. Not in a scared way, but more of a ‘oh my goodness are you sure you’re eating enough? Here go help yourself to something in my pantry I insist’ sort of way. Gotta make sure everyone has enough to eat after all! 

I’m just picturing the rest of the fellowship finding out about the tradition via like, a similar sort of “what about second breakfast” scene and it’s making me wheeze. G/andalf and A/ragorn would be aware of the practice I think, having both spent a considerable amount of time in Bree and the surrounding areas, but the rest of the fellowship? Oh they’ve got no clue, so when the h/obbits start talking together about relaxing after dinner or something they don’t exactly pay too much attention. It’s probably just a hobbit tradition that doesn’t concern them. And they would be right about it not concerning them, if F/rodo hadn’t decided to be polite and offer to include the rest of the party. You can imagine how that goes once it’s clarified exactly what he’s offering to include them in, much to the confusion of the h/obbits and slight amusement of A/ragorn and G/andalf. 

I can also see it happening when the h/obbits are all reminiscing about an evening listening to some of B/ilbo’s old stories or something and telling the rest of the fellowship about it. 

“You should have seen Sam. He managed to get his suspenders stuck on one of B/ilbo’s buttons after we were made small and-“ 

“Hang on what??? Made small???” 

“Well yeah, how else was he supposed to eat us?”

“EaT yOU?!?” 

It’s easier for L/egolas and G/imli to understand I think once the tradition is explained, since both of their races have experience with some stranger magics, but poor B/oromir is just a normal guy™️ who has no clue what’s happening. God I’m laughing just thinking about it help

[thefanciestborrower]

Man I really do be out here creating vore for niche fandoms huh

[thefanciestborrower]

The Hobbit (travesty that is the movieS, not the perfection of the book) but Smaug noms ringed!Bilbo.

Hmm, while I do love me some good dragon vore I’m not sure how well that would end for poor B/ilbo lmao. S/maug is really really big (in comparison to everyone else in the story, but not so much other Middle Earth dragons) and B/ilbo is a really small little H/obbit, so already that size difference is a bit much for me and not looking great for B/ilbo. And unless S/maug got really lucky with a bite I can’t see B/ilbo staying still enough to get caught. If he did tho, I defiantly think the ring would abandon him real quick because it ain’t about to get eaten by a dragon no sir, and uh....well we probably wouldn’t be seeing B/ilbo again ring or no. If S/maug weren’t so murder happy though.....B/ilbo getting ate might prove to be a really interesting situation