#kyle feels obvious as five somewhat but also I like cartman rumouring him to hell and back
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ETA: I keep coming back to this to add tags HELP I have brainworms now and can’t stop
help please idk what to do with everyone else 😭
#wouldn’t it be kenny as Ben bc of cthulu (tentacles) and he’s dead and then klaus is butters because of the episode where he and cartman#thought he could see dead people#Allison is cartman and Luther is Kyle maybe. I just think cartman would rumour so many people#and then if kyle is luther then heidi is sloane#and the alt universe Ben is more like vik chaos#diego is stan and lila is wendy?#maybe five is ike or something LOL that would be funny. could also make sense that five is actually kenny bc of how jaded he is as mysterion#if we’re playing this as satire then viktor is scott malkinson and viktor coming out as trans is scott coming out as having diabetes#or maybe viktor is Bradley biggle idk. WHO COULD IT BE?#kyle feels obvious as five somewhat but also I like cartman rumouring him to hell and back#viktor and five have genuinely stumped me#alternatively klaus could be stan and their dad is randy because. yeah#or maybe their dad is mephesto or something LOL.. I do keep thinking about it being pc principal tho and then Mom is strong woman. maybe.#for a dash of irony#WAIT WAIT WAITTT. tweek is viktor#just trust me on this one tweek is viktor#and then maybe we play it as satire with sissy as craig and Harlan as tweek and it’s literally just a guinea pig wandering around accidenta#lly causing issues– or maybe harlan is actually trisha. idk how that works but we’ll make it#maybe pogo is just like a monkey garrison or (without connotations) monkey chef#mom could be liane but I genuinely don’t think pairing her up with someone just to fill a quota is worth it just let her give birth without#being so the day before and call it quits there#sorry liane
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