#kyle as the one who needs help but he’s so begrudging about it

[curops]

You know what’s underrated? Showering together in recovery. Completely nonsexual. A character can’t stand for prolonged periods of time or maybe their arms just can’t clean themselves properly because of muscle weakness or general injury and showers just aren’t feasible anymore. So another character helps them out, gently washing their back making sure they know it’s not an inconvenience and that they’re there for the other no matter what

[pastelwitchling]

A maybe prompt?

One of Alex's military buddies comes to visit or something and Michael and Kyle both are super sulky

Michael is the husband Kyle's the best friend

This guy makes them both feel threatened

Their jealousy and hatred for him would be a bonding experience for them 😂

@brittz-2123

***

              Michael and Kyle did not get along. This was a known fact that neither of them could ever—or ever really felt the need to—resolve. Michael would admit that it came mostly from his side. Kyle liked to point to Michael every time Alex had a furrow in his brows and demand to know “what did you do to him this time?” which was always a nice slap to the face that Michael couldn’t argue was unwarranted. Still, Kyle was painfully indifferent to him half the time, and yet Michael couldn’t help but have a visceral distrust of the man who had kept Alex company in the years Michael himself hadn’t been able to.

              “You’re so jealous by anything that breathes in Alex’s direction,” Isobel had scoffed once, “it’s insane.”

              Yeah, he was. He didn’t know why people kept expecting him to deny it. Alex was his husband, and he didn’t think it was a weird or bad thing to want to have your husband’s affection all to yourself. As it stood, he and Kyle had a whole frenemies thing going on, a very begrudging frenemies thing, that Alex had resigned himself to after their marriage.

              “This is as good as it’s going to get with you guys, isn’t it?” he’d sighed one day, hands on his hips as he looked between them, both exasperated and fond, to which Michael insisted that the fond gaze belonged only to him, which began a whole new argument.

              He really was a jealous bastard, and despite Kyle’s innocent best friend act, Michael knew he felt the same to an extent. Now, as they both sat in Michael and Alex’s living room, arms crossed on the couch, aiming glares at Alex’s military buddy in the kitchen, Michael knew his suspicion had been right.

              It had been early in the morning when he and Alex, unfortunately already joined by Kyle who’d brought breakfast, got a knock at their door. Alex had no sooner opened the door when he was pulled into a hug that lifted him off his feet and nearly had Michael throwing the stranger off his own.

              Alex had explained with shock and laughter in his voice that this was Scott Mason, his best friend from back in their military days, “and the one I could count on whenever I was in trouble.”

              Michael had hated him instantly.

              Some blond-haired, blue-eyed guy with a wide, genuine smile and booming voice looking at Michael’s Alex like he was his instead, like he knew things about Alex that Michael could never hope of knowing. It set him on edge. And apparently, Kyle too.

              “I know why I’m pissed off,” Michael said without taking his eyes off Alex who was laughing at something Scott had told him, “but why are you? Aren’t you supposed to be above jealousy?”

              “I’m not jealous, okay?” Kyle scoffed, forcing himself to uncross his arms so that he didn’t mirror Michael’s position. “I just think that, as Alex’s doctor and his friend, it’s not conducive to his health right now to get this excited before he’s even had anything to eat. He collapsed not that long ago from exhaustion, remember?” He huffed and glared at Scott. “Look at that, if he shoves him one more time, he could fall over!”

              Michael grunted, unable to muster the ability to scoff with the way Alex was smiling at someone other than him. “And this has nothing to do, I’m sure, with the fact that Alex called someone else his best friend?”

              “Come on,” Kyle rolled his eyes, “what am I, twelve?”

              Michael narrowed his eyes. “I don’t like the way he looks at him.”

              “Who? Scott or Alex?”

              “Yes.”

              Kyle finally peeled his eyes off Alex and his friend to consider Michael. “Are you seriously worried about Alex talking to some other guy? It’s not like he’s a master flirt, you know.”

              “Alex wouldn’t want to flirt with anyone but me anyway,” Michael smirked humorlessly.

              “Oh? Is that why you look like you’re about to throw him through the window?”

              “Think Alex would notice?”

              “Just a bit.”

              He growled, and as though sensing his unease, Alex blinked and looked over. Michael and Kyle plastered on a quick smile. Alex’s own laughter softened to amusement and love for them both, as though he knew what they were thinking and thought them adorable for it. He blew a kiss to Michael which Michael caught and pressed against his heart. Only until Alex returned to the conversation with Scott did Michael sag against the couch.

              “I hate him.”

              Kyle shifted and sighed. “Well . . . we don’t actually know anything about him, Guerin. He seems like a really nice guy, and Alex seems to like him.”

              “Don’t ever say those words in that order again,” Michael growled.

              “Look,” he straightened, “sure, it’s a little weird having this . . . stranger here all of a sudden, but he was part of Alex’s family for a long time, and I think we owe it to Alex to give him a fair chance.”

              Michael pursed his lips, but before he could say anything, Scott suddenly appeared in front of them, a kind, perfect smile on his kind, perfect face. “Hey, you guys okay over here?”

              Kyle started to nod, attempting a smile of his own, when Michael looked around and stood. “Where’s Alex?”

              “Gone inside to get his jacket,” Scott said easily, hands in his pockets. “I’m taking him out for breakfast.”

              “Oh you don’t have to do that,” Kyle said, standing as well. “I already brought breakfast over before you got here.”

              “Yeah, but,” Scott shrugged, “there’s this fudge muffin thing I used to get Alex all the time, and he loved it. You might not know this, but chocolate’s, like, his favorite thing in the world. But hey, you should come! I’m sure he won’t mind.”

              With that perfect smile still in place, he sauntered off, Michael and Kyle watching him go silently, murder in their eyes before slumping back down roughly onto the couch.

              After a long minute, Kyle said, “I hate him.”

              Michael nodded darkly.

***

Happy malex Monday ❤️

[madroxed]

the order (season two) thoughts.

so chotoranii asked me for my thoughts on the order season two. of which there are many. posting them here rather than in a reply so tumblr doesn’t fuck up the ‘keep reading’ break. 

SO MANY SPOILERS AHEAD, OBVIOUSLY.

OK FOLKS, LET’S DO THIS. SORRY ABOUT THE WORD COUNT.

the good, the bad, and the incomprehensible.

ok SO. overall i thought this season was so much better than season one, especially in terms of production and acting.

i should start by saying, the biggest twist of this season? ME LIKING JACK AS A BLOND. i’ve been dragging that hair for months and i end up digging it? i’m so mad at myself.

ANYWAY the first three episodes? flawless! beautiful! amazing! they honestly took everything i could have listed as wanting and put it onscreen. jack trying out for cheer squad and having to stay on cheer squad to keep up the act? them finding each other almost immediately? the jokes about orgies? jack taking the knights seriously and holding on to his anger over the memory wipe? lilith and nicole? nicole in general? RANDALL AND HAMISH FAKE DATING (however briefly, seriously, i will be writing fic where they have to keep that up because i am betrayed that it was never brought up again and if you think i didn’t throw my laptop across the bed so i could run around screaming you’d be wrong)? A MAGIC HEIST?

honestly, all perfect.

............then the season started to go downhill. don’t get me wrong, there were still some excellent parts, but they were hindered by two things:

the plot jumping about too much to be comprehensible.

the fact that we the viewers are supposed to believe that randall carpio and hamish duke would not tear the world apart for lilith bathory immediately. 

the first is forgivable; the first season’s plot was a simple enough device that meant it dragged a little at times. this season they seemed to not want to fall into that trap again, but in doing so threw something so big in that they needed far too much exposition because they didn’t have enough time to show it (a trait they fell into in a lot of ways, we’ll get back to that). SHOW, DON’T TELL, FOLKS. that being said, i really liked salvadore as a character, and the idea of a group of people striving to make magic accessible to all was a cool moral quandary plot. 

the second is unforgivable to me, and led to the majority of my issues with the season. i understand the knights becoming members of the order (cool concept), i understand them struggling with conflicting loyalties because of it, but what i don’t understand is the fact that randall spent the majority of the season saying “let’s get lilith back!” only to back down at the first push back, and hamish was the push back. because......the order had other problems. IN WHAT UNIVERSE DO THE KNIGHTS OF SAINT CHRISTOPHER NOT PUT EACH OTHER FIRST AND SAY FUCK EVERYONE ELSE? 

(jack i understand, if only because we saw so much of it last season. his loyalties are kinda flaky. i do understand his loyalty to vera; not only did she play a huge part in taking down edward last season, but the mind link thing and learning all her pain would have stuck with him. he loves a cause, that boy. also hey ho! jack was so much more likeable this season! we love to see it.)

also i just really missed lilith.

(thank fuck for nicole never giving up.)

the amount of callbacks to season one were fantastic. they didn’t just move on and leave it be, they referenced basically everyone, and seeing professor clarke and kyle again was a nice touch just to tie things together. there also being discussions about jack’s pete related trauma was great and necessary. 

ok, so alyssa. i take back my post about how great it would be for her to be the villain. this was so much better. her trauma in the wake of both season one and then accidentally killing someone leading to her feeling so conflicted and lost and alone? her magic malfunctioning when it’s all she feels she has? we’ve always known she was ambitious, but to see her face straight on the idea that she may be left completely powerless and no one really listening or trying to help her except a hive mind that’s also hurting her? o u c h. 

we saw this season that the real problem with the order is its motto of ‘hurry up and wait’. ‘we’ll save lilith.....just do all these other things first!’ ‘we’ll get alyssa’s magic back......there’s just more important things right now!’ it’s all so easy to see how that could frustrate someone so much they can’t take it anymore. 

i’m so pleased i loved alyssa so much this season. i desperately wanted to and i’m glad they gave me that. i just felt so much for her. she just wanted to not feel so alone and so helpless and so scared that she was going to pick the wrong side again. it was beautiful.

this also meant alyssa/jack was better this season. having got the insta-love out the way last season (ugh), this season they were able to actually look at how that would play out if you took ramifications into consideration. all the problems i had with them last season were vocalised onscreen, and this new unstable thing left in its place was far more appealing to watch. they were messy and bad for each other and they knew it, but that didn’t stop them loving each other. 

also: “if we get out of this, can i take you to the mall? because i really hate your jean jacket. and your hair.” 

in regards to the other relationships: 

lilith and nicole were adorable for the limited amount of time we got them onscreen. the slow crush to nervous dating was beautiful, and seeing lilith struggle with what getting her memories back meant in regards to that was great. we all know i thought the lilith/randall of last season was rushed, so having lilith torn over hurting one of the most important people in her life and following these feelings for someone new was lovely. IF WE GET A SEASON THREE I BETTER GET SO MUCH MORE OF THEM.

here’s the thing, putting aside lilith/nicole for a moment: the order can’t write good relationships (*with one major caveat).

hear me out. 

in season one it was insta-love. jack and alyssa meet and suddenly defending alyssa is the only thing that matters to jack. it....wasn’t good. randall and lilith were thrown together with very little build up and we were supposed to roll with it.

this season we had both hamish/vera and randall/gabrielle. i would like to say that theoretically i am here for both of these. but.

hamish/vera occurred off screen. oh, sure, we had a couple scenes of them staring at each other over drinks, but that was all we got until late into the season. we were told that hamish and vera were a thing by randall when he was winding hamish up. we didn’t see it for ourselves. again, this show’s habit of telling not showing is a problem. 

hamish and vera could make sense. two leaders of opposing factions having sort of hate, begrudging respect sex? i see it. from there, you can show us how it would become something more.

the show doesn’t. 

we’re told they’re together. we’re told hamish is forsaking his knightly duties in favour of vera. we’re told by hamish that he’s drunk the order koolaid, 

and all of this is supposed to culminate in us believing that hamish duke - tundra, leader of the knights of saint christopher, the most cunning of the wolves - would push aside everything else because he just believes that much in vera stone? to the point that he would all but abandon lilith and degrade his relationship with randall to randall being the annoying sidekick? 

i woke up at two a.m. to write a note on my phone that says: ‘the greatest tragedy of the order season two is hamish duke’s character assassination.’ and i stand by that. 

besides lilith’s absence for almost the whole season, it’s the thing i’m most mad about. i love hamish so much and to one-dimensionalise him in favour of a ship is...............shoddy work honestly.

so like i said. HAMISH/VERA COULD HAVE BEEN GOOD, BUT FOR FUCKSAKE SHOW, YOU HAVE TO ACTUALLY DEVELOP THIS SHIT.

randall/gabrielle was better developed. by which i mean we actually saw them interacting on screen. we got to see them begrudgingly working together, we saw him learn more about her, we heard them talk about her need to fit in somewhere. when they made the joke about being bffs? good stuff. would i like them to slowburn this shit? yes please. have them become best friends and then have those feelings be something else. i would really like that. the show just needs to.......slow down. not immediately see a single character and need to throw them into a relationship with the nearest person.

gabrielle was great this season. by which i mean, she was gabrielle, and we love some consistent characterisation. i think it’s so true to everything we know about her that she’d want to inject herself into the knights’ world; she wants to be part of the in-crowd, and right now that’s them. she’s also supremely jealous of alyssa because, to her, it seemed like alyssa had the best of both worlds. so, yes, her wanting to be around the knights and that developing into her begrudgingly liking them makes a lot of sense to me.

so, my caveat.

the relationship the order knows how to write? the knights. hamish, randall, lilith, and jack. that dynamic saved season one from being a total mess. that dynamic thrived in the early episodes of this season. IT’S JUST THAT GOOD. i said once that if the order just became greek (2007) but with werewolves i’d be happy, and the first three episodes really gave me that. 

THE KNIGHTS ARE EACH OTHER’S SOULMATES, ASK ME HOW.

is this an excuse for me to complain that they gave us a hint of hamish/randall and then cruelly snatched it away and i’m still mad about it? YOU BETCHA.

is this also my way of saying there wasn’t nearly enough jack/randall this season? YOU BETCHA.

removing lilith from the equation (I’M STILL SO MAD) and then having hamish pull away from randall because..........who the fuck knows, was just a recipe for disaster.

clearly lilith is the glue that holds these idiots together.

so, vera. katherine isabelle still just steals every scene she’s in. i love her. i love vera’s characterisation. i love that she’s shamelessly ambitious but also wants the order to succeed and the world not to end. i love that she can be cold and cruel and still have such soft spots for both jack and alyssa. i love that she can be vulnerable and angry about it. i just........think vera’s pretty fucking great, tbh.

i still don’t understand why the knights - after their infiltration revenge plans go tits up - decide to just go full on order. like??????? hamish and jack barely even questioning anything???? randall must have spent most of this season feeling so alone.

that being said, when jack said to nicole and randall that he knew what they needed to get lilith back and the conversation pretty much went:

jack: you’re okay betraying the order?

nicole: for lilith, anything.

randall: i’d literally betray the order for a cookie, haven’t you been listening?

we love to see it.

OH, HEY GUYS, REMEMBER WHEN IAN ZIERING AND JASON PRIESTLEY WERE MEMBERS OF THE ORDER AND JASON PRIESTLEY BECAME GRAND MAGUS FOR A HOT SECOND???? that was written solely for me. i do not know who this show thinks its audience is, but it understands me to my core.

so...............i have zero clue where the show intends to go from here. i just need alyssa to be ok and i hope - like his friend randall - jack is willing to kill whoever the hell he has to to make that happen. (we stan randall straight up murdering someone to get lilith back and making sure nicole remains innocent and safe tbh.) 

SO TL;DR: the early episodes gave me life. the show declined from there, but i still enjoyed it a lot. the order is at its best when the knights are a team, i loved alyssa’s story this season, and i have no clue what to expect from next season (if we get one). werewolf alyssa? villain jack, perhaps? we’ll see! 

THIS POST PROBABLY SEEMS TOO NEGATIVE BUT HI! I STILL LOVED THIS SEASON A LOT AND I LOVE MY KIDS WITH MY WHOLE HEART AND IF YOU READ ALL A MILLION WORDS OF THIS THEN I LOVE YOU TOO.

also if anyone has any hamish/randall prompts i’ll be hanging out over here crying into my hands for the next few weeks. FAKE DATING. how dare they?!

[el-gilliath]

the way you make me feel (part 1)

On the 13th of June, a very special someone had their birthday and I promised to write a story for said birthday. And then I started working full time and got very swamped so I’m late as all hells. Because of this I decided to split it into two parts so here’s number one.

Happy (very late) birthday @lambourngb, I hope this breaks your heart just the way you wanted it to.

It should’ve started with a look. It should have ended with a kiss. 

It didn’t. 

Instead Alex is alone, watching as Michael’s body is taken away. Instead he watches as the love of his life is carried into a car, the grief of Isobel and Max heavy in his mind, the sound of Liz, Maria, and Kyle crying loud in his ear. 

“I’m sorry, Alex.”

His eyes flicker to Flint for a second before he looks back at Michael. Flint actually looks sad. He doesn’t really understand why. 

“You killed him, Flint. I don’t care how sorry you are.”

“I know,” Flint replies, his voice lowering. “But he’s not dead.”

“What?!” Alex turns towards his brother. Just as the doors to the car closes, just as it drives away into the night. 

“Guerin’s not dead. But he will be in twenty four hours if you don’t find him and get him back.” Flint looks at him then, and for the first time in a long time Alex sees a hint of the brother he used to love. “Deep Sky will kill him when they find out, Alex. And I don’t know where they took him.”

“He’s my soulmate, Flint.”

“I know. I’ve always known. You’re the only one who can find him, now. Godspeed, little brother.”

With that Flint walks away while Isobel and Max start loudly asking questions, as does the human squad behind him. All except Maria. 

He turns to look at her, watches her big eyes fill with shock and horror as she learns just who she’s been sleeping with. He doesn’t owe her any explanations, doesn’t owe her anything when it comes to Michael, really, just like he never blamed her for falling in love with Michael. He’s always understood how she could, and he will never begrudge her the happiness she found with him. The happiness she gave him. But he is sad she found out this way. Because as he sees the understanding enter her eyes, he knows just as well as her that whatever she had with Michael will now be over. She will never be with him again after this and when Alex finds Michael he’s claiming the bond, how can he not after losing him.

Everything changes now. So maybe it should've started with a look, should’ve ended with a kiss. 

Instead, it starts with a soulbond. And a pissed off Air Force Captain looking for his alien soulmate. 

———

It starts with a bomb. And a kidnapping. It starts with waking up in Jesse’s basement, and being taken from there by Flint. 

It starts with him being collateral for Michael so he’ll build them the bomb. 

It ends in death. And pain. 

But before the ending, Alex is locked to a radiator, sans prosthetic, with a raging headache. 

He knows the headache isn’t actually his, but it still hurts. He knows the headache isn’t his like he knows Michael is feeling phantom pains. At least he’s feeling them in a foot that’s actually there. 

If he concentrates he can see it, the bomb Michael is building. He can see the intricate mechanics, the details that make up the bomb, the canister that holds the bio weapon that will kill Michael. But he’s still building it, still carefully putting it all together based on a schematic. All for Alex. Because he was stupid enough to get taken. 

His soulmate is an idiot. 

He feels Michael swallow a smile as Alex’s indignation hits him. He swallows a smile at the amusement sent back. Even if that indignation and amusement is a front for a much deeper feeling. Fear has always been a powerful emotion in both of them. Sometimes too powerful, at times not powerful enough. 

He tries not to let it color their back and forth of emotions, he would rather keep those positive. Especially now that he gets to have a back and forth again. It’s been lonely in his head for a long time, he doesn’t want it to become lonely again. Even though he knows it will be, when this is over and Michael goes back to Maria. 

He feels a thrill of curiosity, Michael probably picking up on his negative emotions but not knowing what’s the cause of them. He sends reassurance back, aborting his thinking about the entire situation. What matters is both of them getting out of this alive, the rest he doesn’t care about. And as long as Michael is out there building a bomb he really should not be building, Alex will do his very best to help with that. 

He continues being with Michael through their bond, watching him work, looking down at the bomb through his eyes. He can feel Michael’s gratitude so clearly, so crisply in a way he hasn’t since they were 22. The last time he was home and things were truly good between them. 

He does feel a slight sting when Michael calls him a complicated friend but he buries it deep inside. Though he can feel the uncertainty in Michael’s words, he’s uncertain about them himself. Friend still doesn’t feel right, he suspects it never will. He’s fairly sure it won’t feel right for Michael either regardless of what happens. 

He still watches, still keeps Michael company, giving him comfort as he finishes the bomb. He feels Michael’s fear as he does, knowing that he just made something that could kill him, Max, and Isobel, possibly even Maria. But something overshadows the fear quickly, something that Alex doesn’t know how to identify. It’s warmer, more inviting. Comforting. 

Alex startles when he realizes the feeling is love. It’s not a feeling he knows well, and one he’s rarely felt from Michael. 

It’s one he shouldn’t be feeling right now, with Maria out there probably worried sick about her boyfriend. But it feels good, the way he remembers from the first time they touched and the bond bloomed between them. He needs to remember how much it hurt the first time the bond closed between them so he doesn’t get used to this feeling. 

Still, he watches as Helena talks to Michael though her words are muddled. Probably because Michael isn’t really listening. Though he perks up when Helena asks him something, shooting out of his seat. Alex knows Helena is taking him to the room where he is. 

He’s still surprised when Michael barges through the door, falls on his knees and kisses him. The bond soars, more than it has in a very long time, the red bloom of love, the green bloom of safety, the blue bloom of comfort, the yellow bloom of happiness. The white bloom of complete, of cosmic, of yes, him.

He breaks away, wrenching himself off Michael as he looks at him with wide eyes. He’s breathing hard, as hard as Michael, both of them looking at each other in shock. It’s obvious by the turmoil between them that Michael didn’t mean to kiss him. He probably didn’t even want to. 

“How’s the bomb?” he asks, breaking the silence after a few minutes. He can’t deal with silence while his lips still tingle. 

“It’s done,” Michael replies, swallowing harshly. “The only thing they need to do is deploy it.”

“Shit.”

“Alex. There’s two bombs. One kills me.” Michael takes a break, his hand moving to curl into Alex’s. “The other kills you. Helena wants to kill your dad, and she wants him to do it himself.”

“Shooting him would be easier,” Alex mumbles, making Michael snort. 

“Yeah well Helena Ortecho is nothing if not dramatic.”

“Will it work?”

Michael looks at him and Alex doesn’t need him to say the words to know. Maybe Michael didn’t want to be someone that made destruction, he distinctly remember Michael talking about agricultural engineering when they were 17, happy and full of life, but that doesn’t mean he’s not good at what he does. He made the bomb, of course it’ll work. 

“What happened to the prosthetic?”

“Just noticed that did you? Too busy kissing me?” Alex asks, regretting it a second later. But Michael just smiles ruefully, a hand (weirdly enough sans bandana) coming up to scratch the back of his neck in the way he does when nervous. 

“Yeah. I’m-“

“No,” Alex interrupts. “Don’t apologize for something you don’t regret. You don’t have to apologize to me.”

“Yeah, I do,” Michael says. “But after CrashCon. When things aren’t so complicated.”

“Things are always complicated with us, Michael. CrashCon doesn’t change that.”

“Alex-“

“No,” he interrupts once again. “The only thing that uncomplicates us is a talk we should’ve had long ago. About everything.”

“That’s not just on me, Alex.”

“I’m not saying it is. But we’re soulmates, Michael. I’ve been with you in your mind for the last three days, watching you work, watching you create something just to keep me safe.” Alex takes a deep breath, “I’m your soulmate, and you just got down on your knees and kissed me.”

“I know.” Michael leans his forehead against his, their hands tangled in between them. Alex hadn't noticed that their hands are still tangled, but it feels good. “After CrashCon, okay? It’s not fair for me to do anything before then.”

“It might not be fair even then. She’s my best friend, Michael. Does she even know?”

Michael sighs, closing his eyes. They both know what the answer to that is, both of them too afraid to let the important woman they share know. Alex knows he should’ve told her years ago, when they were 17. Or when he came back at 28. Regardless, she doesn’t deserve to be in the middle of this big secret. 

“I have to go, Helena won’t let me stay with you for much longer,” Michael says, opening his eyes and moving away from Alex. 

“Get me out of this chain then,” Alex says, rattling the chain he has around his wrist. 

“No powers, and you’re safer here.”

“You are not leaving me in this house while there's a bomb out there that can kill me and you.”

“Alex, please,” Michael pleads. 

“No. You’re not leaving me here. And that’s final.”

Michael scoffs, shaking his head and opening his mouth to speak before he obviously reconsiders. Alex watches him sigh, feeling the turmoil and uncertainty in his head. A determination comes through the bond not long after. Alex is not surprised, Michael had always been stubborn. 

“I’m-“

The door opens before Michael can say more than a word, Helena entering the room with Alex’s prosthetic in her hands.  

“Time to go. You too, Alex,” she says, walking over and opening the lock on the chain and giving him the leg. She’s been weirdly motherly, something Alex doesn’t really understand. Helena hasn’t been motherly in her entire life. 

“You’re letting me go?” he asks. He still puts the prosthetic on. 

“Yes. Mr. Guerin here held up his end of the bargain.” Helena looks at him, a frown on her face. “Your brother is on his way back, you should leave.”

With that she walks out of the room, leaving Alex to stare after her. He turns his gaze to Michael, raising an eyebrow in question. Michael just shrugs, getting up on his feet. He extends his hand to Alex, who smiles as he gets up, carefully putting pressure on the prosthetic to make sure his balance is steady. 

“Guess I’m not leaving you here then,” Michael says, a wry smile on his face. The worry is back between them, but Alex knows that can’t be helped. 

“Guess not,” he replies. They both know shit is about to go down.

———

He doesn’t want to separate from Michael, doesn’t want to walk away again now that they know what’s going on. But Michael has to check in with everyone at the Pony, tell them what’s going on. Alex has to find his dad. Regardless of how he might feel about him, he knows Greg was planning on taking his kids to CrashCon, and Flint will probably appear sooner rather than later, especially now that he’s free and back on two feet. 

Flint had been patient with a hint of brotherly concern when he made Alex remove it, but that had disappeared when Alex tried to hit him with the leg afterwards. It’s always the way it is with them, a catch and pull created from years under the same roof as their psychotic father who pushed them against each other for his own sick pleasure. Alex loves his brothers, always have and always will, but they all know they won’t always be on the same side. Jesse taught them too well for them to not protect their own interests. Even when that means going against each other.

He still walks into CrashCon with trepidation, breathing calmly as he looks for his father. From what Michael told him as they were leaving the house, Jesse already has the Manes bomb, a switch made by Helena herself. It scares him that Jesse could just use it without knowing. He could potentially walk into a situation where Jesse’s already dead. Though Alex does doubt that, he would want to wait until he’s absolutely sure the aliens are there.

He finds him easily enough, standing at the edge of the crowd in his uniform, carrying a briefcase.

“Hello, dad.”

Jesse turns, scoffing as he sees his youngest son. “I thought you were kidnapped?”

“You mean secondary kidnapped, after Flint took me from your house.”

“Yes, well, your brother caught me off guard. Didn’t think he had it in him.”

“Of course he has it in him, you taught us to supersede any expectations no matter the cost,” Alex answers. He knows there’s a slight bitterness to his tone because he did not like the lessons. But in some ways that have helped in more ways than he wants to admit.

“And yet you all grew up to be disappointments,” Jesse says. Alex only snorts, too tired to deal with him. “Why are you here, Alex? Trying to tell me not to kill the aliens?”

“We both know you wouldn’t listen if I did. But that bomb doesn’t kill aliens, it kills the Manes family line.” Alex meets his father's eye. “The DNA in that bomb is yours.”

“Even for you that’s a stretch.”

“It’s not a-” Alex takes a deep breath, holding his rising anger. “Dad, would you really take the chance? Greg is here, Flint is probably here now too, and I know you hate all that I am but I’m your blood!”

“You would say anything to protect that alien of yours,” Jesse says. His voice is cold and devoid of emotion. “He’s corrupted you so completely by now that you’ll believe anything he says.”

“So you won’t listen when I tell you that the bomb you have in that suitcase will kill us.”

“Why ask a question you already know the answer to?”

“Because I was hoping that for once the love for your sons would be enough to change your mind.”

“If my sons were worthy, it would have. But as I already told you, my sons are disappointments.” Jesse puts the briefcase down and opens it. “The alien threat needs to be eradicated, and none of you will stand in the way of that.”

And with that Alex’s resolve breaks. No matter what happens he will never be able to convince his dad otherwise and it breaks his heart in a way he didn’t think his heart could break since he was 14 and came out, since he was 17 and a hand was shattered in his safe space. 

“I can't let you kill them, dad. And I can’t let you kill us.”

“And how do you plan to stop me?” Jesse asks, rising with the bomb in his hand. He freezes as he hears a gun being cocked. 

“By shooting you if I have to,” Alex replies. His hand is trembling slightly, he feels nauseous and scared. But the gun is pointed at his dad and he knows his aim is true. He won’t. He never misses. 

“So you would kill me to make me stop?” Jesse laughs, low and creepy. “You don’t have the stones.”

“I’d do what it takes to save my brothers. And you, dad. You might detest me but you are still my father. And that means something. At least it does to me.”

Jesse watches him with hatred in his eyes, with disgust, disbelief and something akin to dishonor. Alex isn’t surprised. His dad has always watched him that way, always filled with all the bad emotions that no kid should ever have to see from a loved one but that he’s seen for his entire life. 

“I’m not going to let you stop me, I will protect Earth from the alien threat,” Jesse says, lifting the bomb and putting his finger on the trigger. “So if you really want to stop me. Shoot.”

Alex wavers. He knows he does. Knows that even though he wants to so bad and in many ways Jesse deserves it, he is his father and shooting someone you love is never going to be easy, shouldn’t be easy.

Unfortunately he gets lost in his mind for a second.

He refocuses to see the numbers counting down, Jesse’s smug smile taking over his entire face.

“You can’t save the aliens now, son.”

“No,” Alex replies. “I can’t save us.”

He makes a desperate move, calling out as loud as he can to Michael to get his brothers the hell away from CrashCon as he can, getting close and pistol whipping his dad over the head as he does, taking the bomb from him. He feels Michael’s alarm, sees him telling the rest of them the same thing before he starts running. Towards Alex.

“What are you doing?” Alex asks, sending the question and fear hurling towards Michael through their bond.

“You need to get away from that bomb too!” Michael replies, running at full speed. Alex looks down at the bomb, there’s only a minute left.

“It’s too late, Michael,” Alex says. He knows he won’t get far enough away from it.

“The hell it is!” Alex hears Michael yell, watches him burst through the crowds close to him now, his hand stretched out.

“No!” Alex yells, but it’s too late. The bomb rips out of his hand, hurtling towards Michael and smacking into his palm. “Michael, you have to stop!”

“I won’t die from this, you will.” Michael takes off, changing the direction he’s running in so he goes away from Alex. He’s running fast, his legs and speed probably powered by the excellent control he has over his powers as well, eating up distance as he moves farther and farther away from Alex while the timer ticks down. “I won’t watch you die, Alex.”

Alex doesn’t answer, watching Michael throw the bomb with his powers as far as he can after the slight beep that probably signals the timer hitting zero. He watches the bomb through Michael’s eyes as it sails away, waits to see if anything will happen. He can’t feel a thing, so he’s probably safe.

He feels elation, for a second. And then he realizes.

He might not feel anything. But Michael does.

“No!” He takes off running, following the path Michael took. He can feel Michael getting weaker, can sense the blood dripping from his eyes and nose, can feel his breath stutter and shake.

He runs faster than he’s ever run before, faster than they ran at Caulfield, his prosthetic protesting his every move as he pushes onwards.

He already knows he’s going to be too late.

“Michael!” he yells, both out loud and through the bond. He’s scared, so very scared. But he needs to get to Michael. He needs him to know that he’s there.

He starts crying when he feels Michael fall to his knees, almost stumbles as he feels Michael’s heart stutter. He runs impossibly faster as Michael’s breath stops.

He falls to his knees besides Michael only a minute later, but Michael is already dead. His last thoughts of ‘I love you’ rattling around Alex’s brain.

[rose-sunlight]

ꜱᴘᴇɴᴄᴇʀ ʀᴇɪᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ʜɪᴍʙᴏ ꜰʀᴀᴛʙᴏʏꜱ (ʏ/ɴ)

–ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴛᴏʀʏ ᴏꜰ ʜᴏᴡ ᴀ ꜰᴏᴜʀᴛᴇᴇɴ-ʏᴇᴀʀ-ᴏʟᴅ ᴄᴏʟʟᴇɢᴇ ꜱᴛᴜᴅᴇɴᴛ, ꜱᴘᴇɴᴄᴇʀ ʀᴇɪᴅ, ᴡᴀꜱ ᴀᴅᴏᴘᴛᴇᴅ ʙʏ �� ɢʀᴏᴜᴘ ᴏꜰ ᴛᴡᴇɴᴛʏ-ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ꜰʀᴀᴛʙᴏʏꜱ ᴡʜᴏ ᴀʟʟ ᴀʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴜᴍᴀɴ ᴇᴍʙᴏᴅɪᴍᴇɴᴛꜱ ᴏꜰ ɢᴏʟᴅᴇɴ ʀᴇᴛʀɪᴇᴠᴇʀꜱ

𝕡𝕣𝕖𝕧𝕚𝕠𝕦𝕤 | 𝕟𝕖𝕩𝕥 | 𝕞𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥

Every fraternity had a “Frat Rat”. Well, every fraternity had one except from theirs: they had Y/n. If Kyle heard anyone refer to her in such a demeaning manner, he would confront them on their sexist beliefs. When debating them was out of the question, a swift punch to the gut surely sent them apologising to their friend.

In fact, Y/n was their friend more than anything else. She was one of the bros. She made everything lighter when she walked through the room, and people who stopped by would normally talk to her for the longest. Where Tanner was the group mom, Y/n was the wine aunt who was easy to talk to without fear of judgement.

Spencer liked Y/n. She always knew what to say when he was stressed, and always knew how to calm him down. When she came back from the store, she had him in mind, and would stop by his room where he studied to give him a healthy snack. Although DJ was the one who presented it beautifully, Y/n was the one who brought it up to him and actually bought it.

Her relationships with the boys was something that he wanted with her. She painted her nails with Kyle, went food shopping with DJ, spoke about conspiracies with Skip, knitted with Tanner and did skin-care routines with Brock.

Spencer wished they had a thing.

It took him at least another fifteen years to realise that they did actually have a thing: Y/n would confide in him. When a partner wasn’t acting correctly, or she got an upsetting call from her family members, she would flop down onto Spencer’s bed with a large sigh and talk. Spencer was a kid with the brain of someone much more intelligent, and that made him able to listen and understand while also being the least threatening option.

Y/n would never show it, but she had some real issues in her life. Nonetheless she’d smile at an old man on the street, or help someone across a road even if it meant she would be late to classes. She was a skateboarder, and always tried to teach the guys tricks: that ended when Skip broke his arm after trying to do a handstand on the board.

She was a Psychology student alongside Skip, and was the one who had to listen to him the most. She often joked that she didn’t know how she hadn’t caught “dumbass disease” from him. Their friendship was one of the strongest in the group, but nothing would ever compare to the likes of Tanner and Spencer, who were almost always joint at the hip.

One moment that stuck out about Y/n was when she had come back from Psych with Skip. They had walked through the door, where everyone was sat watching the TV in the living room. Y/n walked in first, placing her head on Tanner’s lap on the couch, and her feet on Kyle’s legs, who was more than happy to give out affection.

“What’s wrong, sunshine?” Tanner asked as the girl simply groaned into his shirt.

Skip sat his bag down by the door, ignoring the sour look Tanner was giving from him at his position of the couch. “She got a call from the guidance councillor.”

They all knew where this was going. The guidance councillor was there to make sure they didn’t leave University without a plan for the future, and so far, Y/n had no idea what her future had in store. She wanted to take a year to backpack across Europe, or so she had told Spencer one night. But the guidance councillor didn’t see this as a successful plan, and wanted her to pick a career before the end of the term.

“What did he say?” Brock asked, not looking up from his book

Y/n sighed again, waving her arm to the guys offhandedly, “Oh, the usual. How I’m unprepared for the real world, and I need to decide what kind of a person I’m going to be in life—active or inactive.”

“Not ready for the real world?” Kyle scoffed loudly, running a hand over his buzzed short hair. He flexed his biceps so that his tattoo danced intrinsically. “Don’t you work two jobs to pay rent as well as your student loans?”

“Yeah, apparently I’m still shielded from the world.”

DJ slammed his fist down on the carpet, sitting his phone down a lot more calmly. “That’s such bullshit!” He yelled

Tanner clasped a hand over Spencer’s ears “What-heeey! Lil’ dude is here!”

DJ stood up, grabbing his jacket from the edge of the couch before giving Skip a light tap on the shoulder “C’mon, dude, let’s go teach him not to mess with our girl”

Tanner rubbed his temples exhaustedly before having to stand up and block the door, “You’re not beating up the University’s guidance councillor” He berated, steering them back to the couch, where Y/n was sitting up with a smile.

“I appreciate the concern, guys, but I guess he’s right. I need to decide what I’m actually doing.” She said, settling down onto the couch alongside the others.

Tanner wrapped his arms around her comfortingly before speaking into her hair, his protectiveness flaring up “But not tonight, though, right?” He asked, and Y/n rolled her eyes. Spencer smiled largely, and watched as he broke Y/ns walls down.

“Fine. Not tonight.”

DJ let out a large cheer, “Hell yeah!” He cried out, before wrapping an arm around Brock, who snuggled into his side clutching the remote. “We’re watching Frozen.”

Spencer hated watching TV, but he sucked it up to watch his friends dance about the living room singing songs. He liked watching DJ and Brock preform “love is an open door” at the top of their lungs (although Brock was very begrudging, and insisted on being Hans). He liked the way he felt like one of them, and he liked how they would always come and visit his mother with him.

This was the first time Spencer had actually had friends.

No, it was more than that. This was the first time Spencer had known true family.

𝕊𝕖𝕖 𝕓𝕖𝕝𝕠𝕨 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕝𝕚𝕟𝕜𝕤 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕤𝕥𝕦𝕗𝕗:

˜”*°•.˜”*°• - •°*”˜.•°*”˜˜”*°•.˜”*°• - •°*”˜.•°*”˜˜”*°•.˜”*°• - •°*”˜.•°*”˜˜”*°•.˜”*°• - •°*”˜.•°*”˜

𝕥𝕒𝕘𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥: @incorrect-multi-fandom-quotes​, @outer-banks-bitches​, @mcntsee​

𝕔𝕝𝕚𝕔𝕜 𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕥𝕠 𝕓𝕖 𝕒𝕕𝕕𝕖𝕕 𝕥𝕠 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕥𝕒𝕘𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥

𝕤𝕖𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕤 𝕞𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥:

𝕞𝕪 𝕓𝕚𝕘 𝕞𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥:

𝕒𝕤𝕜 𝕞𝕖 𝕒𝕟𝕪𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘/𝕤𝕖𝕟𝕕 𝕣𝕖𝕢𝕦𝕖𝕤𝕥𝕤

[bestillmyslashyheart]

It’s @michaels-blackhat‘s birthday and she asked for Patrick in the Unexpected Tidings AU so that’s what she got. (If you haven’t read UT, just know that Michael grew up outside of Roswell but he and Alex still met and fell in love. This takes place after Michael comes to Roswell for the first time)

Maria, Liz, and Kyle were talking around him but frankly Alex didn’t care. The sun was warm without being too hot, the food was good, and Michael was beaming. 

Alex couldn’t look away.

“Wow,” Liz said, long and slow. Something in her voice managed to snag his attention and Alex dragged his eyes away from Michael long enough to glance over at her. She was looking at him, a pleased smirk on her face. Kyle and Maria weren’t sitting next to her.

“What?” He looked back over at Michael.

“This is what love looks like, huh?” There was a teasing edge to her voice.

Alex glanced over at her, longer this time. “What do you mean?”

Her laugh filled the air. “You can’t look away from your boyfriend! He’s been here for four days and he’s not leaving for another three but you look at him like you can’t believe he’s real or like he’s going to disappear if you take your eyes off of him for a second.” She pauses. “It’s cute.”

Alex glared. “I am not cute.” He didn’t bother arguing her other points. He was looking at Michael like he couldn’t believe he was real mostly because Alex still couldn’t believe this was really happening. Michael was here, in Roswell, with his brother and sister. 

There had been a moment, not too long ago, when Alex had been afraid he’d lost this. The way he’d left DC, the way he’d handled this posting, had been...not great. But they’d gotten through it. And Michael was here. Alex looked back over at his boyfriend and his lips turned upwards in a helpless smile. The sun was catching his curls and making them glow. It had nothing on his smile though.

Michael was standing a little ways away from the house, Max and Isobel crowded around him, as he demonstrated his powers. Well, they’d done the show and tell the first day Michael was here. Now he was mostly just showing off under the guise of ‘training’.

Liz made a sound. Alex turned to her with a raised eyebrow. “You’re not staying, are you? In Roswell, I mean.”

Alex furrowed his brow. “As soon as my enlistment is done, I’m going home.” He’d never said anything else. “You know that.”

“I know,” she agreed. “I guess I was holding off a little bit of hope that maybe you’d decide to stick around after.” She smiled. “But Roswell isn’t home anymore, is it?” Alex shook his head. “Unless Michael wanted to move here?”

“Michael’s moving?” Maria asked as she and Kyle rejoined them. She had two margaritas in her hand and deftly passed one over to Liz. Kyle handed Alex a bottle of water. Maria looked over at Alex then out at Michael. “You’re staying in Roswell?”

Alex laughed and shook his head. “No. Michael’s job is in DC and he loves it way too much to ever leave.” Laughter rung out loud and clear and Alex was captivated once again. “I have a feeling we’ll be back to visit a lot though.”

“Good,” Maria huffed. “No disappearing on us again.”

“Yeah, I don’t think you have to worry about that,” Kyle laughed. He nodded out at the trio. “You’re going to need a forklift to separate those three.”

Alex wanted to object but he couldn’t. Since they’d arrived, Michael had been spending a lot of time with Max and Isobel. Alex didn’t, couldn’t, begrudge him their time together but if Michael hadn’t been sleeping at his house, he wasn’t sure they’d have had any time alone together. 

He was pretty sure that was the only reason Michael was staying with him and not crashing in Max’s spare room.

A crisp ringing split the air and Alex quickly dug out his phone. When he saw who it was he answered it without hesitation.

“Hey,” he greeted warmly. “What’s up?”

“Hey yourself,” he heard in response. “How’s life in the land of aliens?”

Alex looked out at his said aliens as Isobel visibly huffed and shoved Michael’s shoulder. Max stood next to them, laughing. “It’s good,” he replied. “It’s really good.”

“Good. I’m glad to hear it.”

Alex frowned absently. “You haven’t heard it?”

There was a noncommittal grunt. “Been a couple of days since I talked to Michael. I know things were a little rocky after your relocation and I was trying to give you guys space in case you needed to work anything out.”

Alex tilted his head back to look at the passing clouds. “We’re good,” he promised. “Michael’s fitting in like he belongs. I hate that he’s leaving in three days but I’ll be home in six more months. We’ve made it through worse.”

“Yes you have,” came the instant agreement. “But don’t let it go six months without seeing him again, yeah? I can’t handle the stress.”

Alex laughed. “Oh you can’t handle it?”

“Who the hell do you think gets the middle of the night phone call when he’s paranoid and freaking out?” Alex might be worried if he couldn’t hear the teasing lilt. “He was really upset that you didn’t want him in Roswell.” That came out much more serious.

“I know. But I had a reason.”

“A good reason?”

“...a reason.”

“Manes,” came a heavy sigh.

“I know. It’s fine now, though. We’re good.”

“Uhuh.”

Alex sighed and looked over. “Michael!” All three aliens turned at his shout. “Your boyfriend’s worried I don’t treasure you enough!” A booming laugh came out of the phone, loud enough that Kyle looked at the phone in surprise. 

Michael grinned and bounded over. He pressed a quick kiss to Alex’s lips before plucking his phone from his fingertips and pressing it to his own ear. “Patrick, Patrick, Patrick, you know exactly how well Alex treasures me.” He stepped inside as he continued to talk.

Alex’s eyes followed him through the glass doors. “Michael’s boyfriend?” Isobel asked, dropping gracefully into a free chair. 

Alex hummed. “Best friend,” he corrected, turning back to the group. “But sometimes I think it’s only because Patrick is tragically heterosexual.” 

“That doesn’t bother you?” Kyle asked.

“Not even a little bit,” Alex replied honestly. “He’s a damn good friend.” And he was. Despite Patrick being in the Air Force, Alex had actually met the man through Michael. Patrick had been another member of the bachelor party Michael had been in Vegas with when Alex crossed paths with them there. He was fairly certain neither of them spoke to the groom anymore but they’d formed a fast friendship that weekend that had lasted ever since. Alex was almost as big a fan of the guy as Michael was. In fact, though they’d never been posted to the same base, they’d been deployed at the same time during Alex’s last deployment and Patrick’s company had been one of the only things keeping him sane. Plus, he’d been the one to save Alex’s life by sacrificing his leg. And he’d called Michael to tell him when the Air Force refused to. 

Patrick was good people. He’d fight anyone who implied otherwise.

“Good,” Max said firmly. “Michael deserves it.” Alex smiled over at (his future brother-in-law? Friend? Friend’s boyfriend?) him. 

“He does,” he agreed.”

---

“You know I don’t want to hear about your sex life, Guerin,” Patrick whined in his ear as Michael escaped into the house.

“You asked!” Michael laughed.

“I distinctly did not!” Patrick grumbled. Michael flopped onto the couch gracelessly. Outside, Alex was looking in at him and Michael met his gaze, smiling warmly. “How’s New Mexico?” Patrick asked.

“It’s great,” Michael replied honestly. “Alex has been worked up over this thing with his dad lately but it’s all over now so he’s finally letting himself relax a bit and he’s good.” He smiled. “We’re good.”

“Good,” Patrick replied. “Now how’s New Mexico?”

Michael laughed. “Hot. It’s November, it shouldn’t be hot.”

“Man, I’m in Florida,” Patrick reminded him. “It’s hot and humid.”

“Yeah that sounds terrible,” Michael told him without sympathy. “Shouldn’t have requested Patrick just for the irony.”

Patrick sighed. “It was a good opportunity,” he insisted.

“You couldn’t resist,” Michael corrected.

“I couldn’t resist,” Patrick agreed. “And now I’m suffering for it.”

Michael hummed. “Hey, guess what?”

“What?”

“Alex found my brother and sister.”

There was a pause on the other end followed by a shuffling of fabric like Patrick had just sat straight up. “What?”

“Yup,” Michael smiled, looking out at Max and Isobel. “We got separated at a group home when we were kids but Alex found them.” He laughed. “Turns out he grew up with them actually. They’ve been here in Roswell the whole time.”

“Holy shit, Michael,” Patrick breathed. “That’s amazing.” He paused. “That’s amazing, right?”

“Yes,” Michael said emphatically. “It’s absolutely amazing. They’re amazing. Turns out they’ve been looking for me, too. As soon as I saw them, it just clicked.”

“I’m so happy for you, man,” Patrick told him. “Does Alex get along with them?”

“Yeah. I mean, they were never friends exactly but they seem to have always gotten along. And now my brother’s dating one of his best friends.” He paused. “He’s my brother.” He sounded like an idiot, he knew, but he couldn’t help it. For the first time in 20 years, he could talk about them. They were standing right outside, not trapped in his childhood memories. 

Patrick laughed. “Guess you have to get used to the desert, huh?”

Michael groaned. “I’d rather they come up to DC but I don’t think that’s going to happen too often,” he agreed. 

“You going to be okay to leave them?”

“Yeah,” Michael replied. Honestly, it would be a rough adjustment, he knew. Now that his connection to them was bright and shiny and intact, stretching it across the country would be a challenge but he didn’t have a choice. As much as their life was here, his was there. Well, it would be as soon as Alex came home. “I can’t wait for Alex to come home,” he confessed suddenly. “I miss him.”

“Isn’t he right there?” Patrick asked.

Michael looked out the window. Someone had clearly just told a joke as everyone was laughing. Alex’s head was thrown back and the sun was making his skin glow. “Yeah, he is.”

“Stop ogling your boyfriend.”

“I can’t help it!” Michael defended himself. “He’s so beautiful.”

“Yes, yes, he’s very pretty and love makes him even prettier,” Patrick grumbled goodnaturedly. They’d had this discussion before. “How do you miss him when he’s right there?”

“I’ve been spending a lot of time with Max and Isobel,” Michael admitted. “My brother and sister,” he clarified.

“Thank you, I managed to make that connection all on my own,” Patrick teased. Michael had the strange urge to stick his tongue out at the phone but he restrained himself. “So, what, you flew all the way there and now you’re ignoring him?”

“No!” Michael denied. “I’ve just been, I don’t know, busy with them. Getting to know them, you know? I haven’t been completely ignoring Alex.”

“Right,” Patrick agreed easily. “But you’ve been spending so much time apart that you miss him even though he’s right there.”

“Yeah.”

“Michael,”

“Don’t take that tone with me.”

“Don’t act like an idiot and I won’t have to!” 

“I’m not!”

“Michael,” Patrick sighed. “I’ve known you for a long time. I’ve had a front row seat to the Alex and Mikey show for almost as long as you two have been together.”

“Your point?”

“My point is that the last six months have been rough,” Patrick didn’t sugarcoat it. “This might be the closest I’ve ever seen you two to calling it quits.”

“Hey, woah, we were not going to call it quits!” 

“I didn’t say you were,” Patrick soothed. “I just said it’s the closest I’ve ever seen you guys get to that point. Maybe spend a little time with your boyfriend? Your brother and sister aren’t going anywhere, you know. You don’t have to spend every second with them.”

“It’s not every second,” Michael denied. But he could admit, it was a lot of seconds. Most of his waking moments, really. As soon as he walked through the door four days ago, Max and Isobel had hugged him then called out of work for the week he’d be here. Alex had taken off as well but he’d given the three of them their space to connect and get to know each other. “Okay you might have a point.”

“Of course I do.”

“Don’t be smug,” Michael rolled his eyes.

“It’s not smug if it’s deserved.”

“I think there’s a flaw in your logic.”

“Oh? Where?” He could hear Patrick’s smirk.

“I don’t want you to be smug.”

Patrick hummed. “I don’t think that’s a flaw in my logic.” Alex opened the back door and stepped inside. Michael looked at him and smiled. He looked good. Besides the sun kissed glow he wore carelessly, there was an ease to him that Michael hadn’t seen in a while. Alex hadn’t been this relaxed since they took that road trip down the Pacific Coast before his last deployment. “Alex is there, isn’t he?” 

Michael startled. “How’d you know that?”

“Because you stopped answering,” Patrick laughed. “You get distracted when he’s around.”

Michael sighed dreamily. “He’s just so pretty.”

Alex rolled his eyes. Michael grabbed his hand and pulled him onto the couch with him. “Ok fine,” Patrick said in his ear. “I can tell when I’m intruding.”

“Can you really, though?” Michael asked. “Because I remember-”

“Goodbye.” Patrick hung up.

“He hung up on me,” Michael stared at the phone. Alex laughed and took it from him.

“You’ll get over it.”

Michael leaned over and kissed him. Alex was clearly surprised but immediately returned it, the phone slipping from his fingers as he dug his hands into Michael’s hair. Michael curled his fingers around Alex’s hips and leaned back onto the couch, pulling Alex with him. They exchanged long, slow, lazy kisses until the back door opened and let the outside world in.

“Really? On my couch?” Max huffed as he walked past them into the kitchen. A few days ago Michael might have been worried, might have taken Max honestly at his gruff tone, but now Michael knew enough to see the upturn of his lips, the amusement behind the gruffness. 

“Really,” he replied, not letting Alex get up. He kissed him again. “Hi,” he said quietly.

“Hi,” Alex replied. He smiled. “What the hell did you and Patrick talk about?”

“I think I’ve been ignoring you,” Michael said instead of answering.

“That’s okay,” Alex assured him. It wasn’t a denial. “You just met Max and Isobel, I get it.” He ran a hand down Michael’s arm and squeezed his hand. “I don’t need to monopolize all of your time.”

Michael sat up. His movement pushed Alex away slightly and Michael pulled him back in. “No. Not okay. They’re great,”

“Hell yeah we are,” Max passed them again on his way back outside. Michael and Alex laughed.

“But they’re not you,” Michael continued when the door shut behind Max. “I came out here because I missed you and I feel like I’m still missing you. We need a day to ourselves.”

“We’ve got time, Michael. You only have a few days here, I don’t want to cut in on your time with them.”

“Fuck ‘em,” Michael grinned. “I met them four days ago. It’s been a great four days, and yeah I want to spend more time with them before I leave, but I came here for you. I want to spend time with you and I want you to show me where you grew up and I want to get to know Liz and Maria.” He leaned forward until his forehead pressed against Alex’s. “You got any plans for tomorrow?”

Alex closed his eyes and pretended to think about it. “I’m sure I could pencil you in.”

“Oh could you? Could you pencil me in?” Michael laughed.

Alex hummed. “Somewhere between watching Netflix and taking a long shower.”

“Room for two in that shower?”

“I think we could make it work.”

Michael kissed him. “But after that shower?” Alex raised an eyebrow in question. “Max has this hat…”

Alex pulled back to look at him in surprise. “You want a hat like Max?”

Michael’s eyes flicked over to where Max’s hung on a hook by the door. “Maybe not exactly like Max’s but I think I’d look good in a cowboy hat.” Alex didn’t say anything. “No?”

Alex brushed a curl out of his face. “Black, I think,” he mused. “You could make it work.”

“Hell yeah I could.”

[bellakitse]

you've been on my mind like a drug (heaven help a fool who falls in love)

Day 1 Fic prompt: Welcome to the Party @michaelguerinweek

They park down the road from the isolated ranch house that is practically vibrating with the thumping music playing inside. It makes Michael flinch as they make their way out of Max's car and up to the house.

“This was a mistake,” he says to his siblings, eyeing all the cars around the house with contempt. He recognizes more than a few of the flashier, newer cars that belong to the ‘A’ crowd. “Can’t we do something else for our birthdays?”

“No!” Isobel snaps at him, her eyes mean as she continues to walk ahead of them in pointy heels. “We went to that science expo like you wanted, and Max’s boring as hell poetry reading. I want to go to a party like the only normal one of us.”

“But it’s Valenti’s party,” Michael all but whines, looking at Max for support; knowing his brother dislikes the guy too. Max makes a face but doesn’t do much more than that, having accepted his fate of having to socialize with the meatheads of their school.

Isobel stops and turns to look at them. “It’s the best party of the school year,” she starts, giving them a warning look, her mouth tight. “So, you two will not embarrass me,” she points at Max. “Or start trouble,” she turns to him. “You don’t like Kyle, that’s fine. Drink his beer, eat his food, and go find someone to make out in a corner with, got it?”

Michael waits a moment to agree, letting her sweat it out before giving her a begrudging nod of agreement. In return, she rolls her eyes at him and turns around, sure that they’ll follow her.

Michael makes another pained face when they make it inside. He knows it’s not possible, but it looks like the whole school is there and not just the seniors class. The volume of the music is so loud that he can’t make out the lyrics through the noise. Isobel spots her clique and without so much as a wave back at them disappears through the crowd to join them.

“So much for being together for our birthday,” he shouts in Max’s ear and gets a chuckle from his brother. He points towards a table in the corner with red solo cups and starts to make his way to it, Max following behind him. He reaches for two, passing one to Max.

“We should have put a time limit to this before Isobel disappeared,” he says, taking a sip of stale beer. “There is only so much torture I’m willing to put myself through, even for her.”

Max takes a mouthful of his drink, making a face. “It’s what she wanted, Michael, don’t complain so much.”

“It’s just so vapid,” Michael argues. “These people aren’t our friends.”

“To be fair, we don’t make it easy to be friends in the first place when it’s always just the three of us,” Max points out, and Michael doesn’t bother answering, hating when Max has a point.

Okay, so he prefers it when it’s just the three of them, sue him. He’s never felt comfortable around people. He’s painfully aware that he’s not like his peers and not just because he’s from a different planet. Even if he were from earth, he’d still be different.

He’s a foster kid, in ratty clothes with a huge brain and no mouth filter, he might as well have a bullseye on his back. He gets ready to tell Max all of this when he sees a pathetic lovesick look cross his face. He sighs resigned and turns to look in the direction Max is staring at, knowing what he’s going to find and -yep, Liz Ortecho straight ahead with Maria Deluca and a bored-looking Alex Manes.

‘Well, maybe this party won’t be so horrible after all,’ he thinks as he stares hard at Alex. Biting down on a grin when the dark-haired boy turns and catches his eye, raising an eyebrow when Michael doesn’t break his gaze.

Michael nods in the direction of an open door that leads to the back of the house and waits for a response, letting out a  victorious smirk when Alex sends him a subtle nod after a moment of hesitation.

“I’m going to go take a piss,” he turns to Max, who continues to stare stupidly in the distance. “Are you going to be okay gawking at Liz Ortecho, or do you need a napkin to catch the drool?”

“I’m fine,” Max mumbles distracted, and Michael shakes his head, amused at how infatuated his geek brother is with the pretty Spanish girl.

“Okay buddy, you keep doing what you’re doing,” he says as he tracks Alex making his way out the back. He follows a couple of feet behind, letting people move around him. His focus is Alex’s snug black tee. He gets outside where it’s quieter and a whole lot emptier than the house, with just a kid or two lingering around. He spots Alex leaning against the side of the house at the far end of it, away from prying eyes.

“Alex Manes at a Kyle Valenti party will wonders never cease,” he says as he walks up to the boy, taking in the ‘I’m not okay’ MCR shirt that is tight across his chest. His slim waist where a black studded belt hangs low with skinny black jeans ripped at the knees to finish the outfit. The guy is such an emo cliché but so ridiculously hot, with his eyeliner and black nails.

“I can say the same for you, Guerin,” Alex raises an eyebrow at him, and Michael has to curl his hands to keep from reaching out to touch him. “Liz and Maria dragged me here.”

Michael lets out an amused huff. “Same, Isobel wouldn’t take no for an answer until Max, and I caved.”

Alex shares his amused expression. “Don’t be best friends with girls; they bend you to their will.”

Michael shrugs. “It’s turning out okay. Max is in there gazing at Liz lovingly, his favorite hobby.”

Alex nods in agreement. “And you, Guerin?” he asks, something indescribable in his tone. “Are you getting anything out of being at the ‘rager of the year’?”

Michael doesn’t say anything; instead he stares at Alex’s face, his lips. He feels his pulse spike as he watches Alex run his tongue over his bottom lip, his ears catching the way Alex takes a sharp breath, and he looks away from Alex’s mouth to find wide eyes staring back at him.

“You can’t look at me like that,” Alex whispers.

“Like what?” he asks quietly, taking a step and then another, closing the gap between them until his front brushes against Alex’s. “How do I look at you?”

“You know how,” Alex complains. “Don’t play dumb.”

“Tell me,” Michael demands, his face closer to Alex, his skin tingles with anticipation. “Tell me.”

“You look at me like you know what I taste like,” Alex shoots back, his words sparking something inside Michael, and he flashes back to a month ago when they found themselves in the stalls of the Roswell public library. Strong hands holding on to his hair, the floor hard under his knees and an addictive taste on his tongue as he sucked Alex down. He remembers the look of bliss on Alex’s face as he swallowed around him and the pride he felt that he put that look on Alex’s face.

“I do know what you taste like,” he whispers, hardening in his pants, letting Alex feel it as he presses him into the side of the house. He’s unable to keep his hands off Alex as the boy lets out a soft moan and puts them on his waist. “I think about it nonstop, the taste of you, the sounds you made. I’m obsessed, and all I want is to do it again, and again, and again.”

Alex lets out a low-pitched whine. His hands, twisting up Michael’s flannel shirt. “You can’t say things like that,” Alex answers, his body going against his protest as he pulls Michael even closer, rocking into him when Michael pushes a knee between his legs.

“Why not,” Michael challenges, giving him a feather-light kiss below his ear, his mouth against the shell of it as he asks again. “Why not, Alex?”

“We said it was a one-time thing,” Alex says breathlessly, as he tilts his head back to give Michael room to leave a trail of open mouth kisses.

“You said it was a one-time thing,” Michael says, pulling back, he tries for a casual attitude, but even he can hear the hurt in his voice. Alex hears it too, and he pulls back to look at Michael, snapping out of his haze.

“You agreed,” Alex argues, now completely focused.

“What was I supposed to do?” Michael asks, pulling away, the mood dead. “I blow you; you give me a handjob and before we even pull our pants up, you tell me that I shouldn’t worry. That it doesn’t mean anything and that you won’t be catching feelings!” he finishes, now louder, angrier. The words have been echoing in his head since Alex uttered them.

“I was giving you an out!” Alex shouts back, not backing down. “Everyone knows you date girls, and then one day you corner me in the library, kiss me and next thing I know; we have our hands on each other’s dicks. I thought you were experimenting and I’m the only out guy at school,” Alex continues, his voice small, his arms going around himself. He looks so unsure and shy, so unlike school Alex, who wears his ‘fuck you world’ as a part of his emo-punk aesthetics. “I didn’t need you to tell me it didn’t mean anything, so- “

“So you said it first,” Michael finishes for him, his anger gone and in its place, a tender affection that he’s never felt for anyone but his siblings and he’s filled with a need to pull Alex close and protect him from the world.

Not one for impulse control he does exactly that, he pulls a tense Alex close and holds him to his chest, his face tucked in his shoulder. He feels Alex slowly lose his tension, and soon the boy is hugging him back tightly. He holds him for a few minutes longer before pulling back to look at his face.

“Milkshakes and fries, tomorrow at the Crashdown,” he says, smiling when Alex gives him a confused look that clears to a surprised but hopeful expression.

“Are you asking me out, Guerin?” Alex asks, a small smile playing on his lips.

“Are you going to put me out of the misery you’ve had me for the last month and say yes, Manes?” he questions, his heart tripping all over itself when Alex nods at him, his eyes soft.

As he closes the space between their lips, he silently thanks Isobel for dragging him to this stupid party. Not that he’ll ever tell her verbally, no need for her smugness, he thinks. Which is the last thought he has because Alex does a twisty thing with his tongue and Michael stops thinking completely.

[aewriting]

Loathly - Chapter 4

Here is part 4 of my Sir Gawain and the Dame Ragnell AU.

Previous parts are here on AO3.

Warnings for sexism, ageism, homophobia, mentions of past violence.

***

Day breaks, and the Lady Guerin exits her cottage. She carries with her a small package, efficiently wrapped. “My belongings,” she says to Alex, thrusting the bundle into his hands.

Alex considers it. “This is all?”

She nods.  “I am to reside in the castle at Unidos with you, as your wife. What want could I possibly have for my simple possessions?”

Alex bites his lip a bit, looks at her.  “But… not all of your possessions are simple,” he finally says. “I have seen your fine cloaks, the gold necklace at your breast… You needn’t tell me all of your secrets now, dear lady, but if we are to be married…”

Lady Guerin smiles at him, approvingly, he thinks.  “All will be revealed.  I can promise you that,” she says.

She looks quickly around the clearing. “You and your brothers have made quick work of the camp.”

“Indeed,” replies Alex. He’s been up since well before dawn, packing up, ensuring that they will be prepared for the journey ahead.

Jesse sees the woman, walks toward her.  “Good morning, Lady Guerin.”

Another one of her expansive curtsies. “Good morning, my king.”

“Have you a steed?”

Alex hears the huff of amusement. “A simple old woman like me, my lord? The answer is no, I’m afraid.”

Jesse nods.  “Alex, since you and this…” his mouth twists a bit in dark humor, “lovely woman are to be married, I’ll allow you the thrill of sharing a mount.”

He… he thinks he is being humorous. This is his father’s way, always has been, likely will be until he is on his deathbed.  Alex hates it, the casual way he cuts down others. He looks to the Lady Guerin to see if she is offended. She does not seem to be.  

“Thank you, father,” Alex says tightly.

Jesse leaves, and Alex helps the woman up from her low curtsy.

“My thanks, Sir Alex,” the woman says, brushing off her dress.

Alex peers at her.  “I know you do not have many options, but will you be alright, sharing a horse with me?”

The woman gives him a wide, open smile.  It, it takes Alex off guard. “Truly, Sir Alex, there is no one with whom I would rather ride.”

***

“By the gods…”

“Lady Guerin?” Alex frowns, twisting around to address her.

“My apologies, Sir Alex, it’s just…”

“Just what?”

She laughs, lightly.  “You men. Of Unidos.  You are really so concerned with your women’s modesty that you prefer them aside a horse, rather than astride it?”

Alex frowns a bit.  “I had never considered it.”

“How lucky for you,” the woman says drily. “I am to be your wife. Would it offend you if I sat astride the animal?”

Alex was thoughtful. “I would not be offended.  And we can explain it away as your lack of horsemanship, though… I do not think that is actually the case, Lady Guerin.”

A pause. “It is not, Sir Alex.”

Alex feels pleased to have guessed correctly.  “Well, then, I leave the choice to you.  Either ride astride, or continue aside.  You can grip me tighter, if need be, whichever you choose.”

He hears the small huff of laughter from the woman. “Ah, you’ve sweetened the pot, Sir Alex.”

Alex laughs a bit.  “Please, none of that.”

The woman laughs too, but it dies away quickly. He feels her rearrange her body so that her legs are astride the horse, feels her hike up her skirts to allow the motion.  And then he also feels an arm circle his torso, then another arm. Not too tight, nothing untoward. “Is… is this alright?” the woman asks, voice uncertain.

“I am fine, if you are.”

“I am,” the woman says quickly. “It… it is odd.  It has been a while since I have had occasion to ride, and I have never shared a mount before.  Thank you for allowing me to make myself feel more comfortable.  More… secure.”

“Please, my lady,” Alex says, “if there is anything I can do to assure your comfort, I wish to do it.”

“By the gods,” the woman says, fondly, “I believe you.”

***

They get to know each other, Alex and the Lady Guerin, on the back of their steed.  It is four day’s journey back to the castle, and they are spending all of their time together.  All time except for the night, of course. Lady Guerin continues to insist on privacy in the evening.  “Beauty sleep,” she explains one night, to Flint of all people.

Flint scoffs.  “Then I fear you may have to sleep all winter, my lady.”

Alex is horrified at Flint’s insolence, but Lady Guerin actually laughs, loudly.  “That was rather quick for you, Sir Flint,” she says, casually, as she retreats into her tent.  “Sir Alex?” she calls, just before securing the opening.

“Yes, my lady?”

She fixes him with a serious look. “I ask that no one disturb me before daybreak.”

Flint rolls his eyes.  “Who in the gods’ name would try to sneak a glimpse in your tent, my lady?”

Lady Guerin is unmoved. “Sir Alex?”

“Of course, my lady,” Alex says quickly. “I shall move my own bed roll to the front of your tent.  Should anyone want to disturb you, they shall have to get through me, first.”

He sees her face go soft, her eyes go warm.  “Thank you, Sir Alex.”

***

The woman is wearing another one of her fine, heavy cloaks.  She has it spread over her, concealing the lower half of her body, concealing the way her legs are gripping the horse, one on each side. Alex feels the solidity of her grasp around his torso.  In, in another situation, with another type of person, he can see how such a touch could be… intimate.  Welcome. As it is, with the woman, it is fine. Reassuring, even, to know that she is safe.  Alex is surprised at how much he desires her safety.  But it does make him… wonder…

“My lady,” he says.  “I hope this is not too invasive a question…”

Lady Guerin pats his chest, gently. “We are to be married, Sir Alex.  Despite our chats in the clearing, we are still nearly strangers.  You may ask me anything.” He feels her inhale, exhale. “I shall not lie to you, my lord. I, I may not tell you everything. A lady needs her secrets, after all. But I shan’t lie.”

Alex nods. “Have you been married before?” The woman is quiet, and Alex is quick to elaborate.  “Again, you needn’t answer, if you do not wish to… I simply, thought perhaps, in your younger years…”

The woman laughs, lightly. “I am not so old as I appear, Sir Alex.”

“My apologies, my lady,” Alex says, genuinely contrite. “I meant no offense.”

“Oh, I know, Sir Alex.” She pauses, thoughtful. “How old are you, pray tell?”

“Four and twenty,” he responds.

“Ah,” she says.  “Well, then, I suppose I am a bit older than you after all,” she says, mirth in her voice. It’s infectious, and Alex finds himself smiling too at her humor. “I have never been married,” she continues. “Honestly, I never really considered the prospect until I encountered your party on the roadway and realized it could be my best way of gaining protection.” She is silent, for a moment, before leaning forward, lips close to Alex’s ear. “I have lain with men, though.”

Alex nearly startles.  “My lady?” he says, sure he’s misheard.

But the lady chuckles a bit, leans back slightly.  “Have I shocked you?”

Now it is Alex’s turn to chuckle. “Ah, a bit, I confess.” He thinks on it, then. Frowns. “My lady, such an admission is… dangerous, for a woman of Unidos, about to wed. There are those who would spurn you, or worse.”

“And hearing this now, would you spurn me?” She leans in again, breath warm on his neck. “Or worse?”

“No,” Alex says softly.  “Of course not.”

“Then I see no danger here.”

Alex shakes his head a bit, looks ahead at his father, his brothers. “There is danger all around us,” he mutters.

“Have you ever lain with a man?”

This time, Alex does startle, whips around to face to woman. He sees no trace of malice there, despite his expectations.  Only openness.  Curiosity.

He looks around quickly, speaks in a low tone that only the woman can hear.  

“Yes.”

He turns back around to face forward, but feels the Lady Guerin’s eyes on him.  

Her voice is surprisingly small when she finally speaks.  “Does he wait for you? At court?”

Alex’s jaw tightens.  “No.”

He closes his eyes, for a moment. Allows himself the rare pleasure of picturing Kyle’s face, his body.  As he was in life.  Not… not the last time.  By the gods, it gets harder, every time.  Like a fresco, faded in the weather.  Some aspects so sharp – mostly the sense memories.  The way his mouth had felt, hot around him, the way he smelled of tinctures and herbs… But other aspects… his eyes, always so merry, so clever. Until they weren’t. He… he tries to remember the warmth of them, for he finds that he can’t remember the color. Not anymore.

A gentle touch from the woman brings Alex back to himself. “You are pained,” she says, sounding genuinely remorseful.  “I am sorry I asked.”

“He is dead,” Alex says simply, though he finds it likely that the woman already knew.  And by degrees, he tells a story that he has told no one.

A story of a campaign. Jelnos. A flesh wound.  A shoulder, nicked by an arrow. A begrudging trip to the medical tent.  And the handsome field doctor therein.  Not… not one of the charlatans from the court. No, this man had been sturdy, straightforward.  Had applied a salve to Alex’s shoulder, wrapped it.  Efficient. Had sought Alex out, the next day, with a bitter liquid. Had sought him the next day, too, to look over the wound.  Had let his hand linger, a beat too long.  Had looked at Alex in a way no man had ever looked at him before.

He was his first. His only. The Jelnos campaign was rough. Alex now understood the lust his brothers and father spoke of, the way they craved a woman after a fight. But… but he didn’t understand their callousness, the disposable way they used their women.  Their whores.  Worse names, many a time.  Because for Alex, there was nothing disposable about Kyle. And he believed that, for Kyle, there was nothing disposable about him, either.

Alex would go to him each night, sometimes still bloodied, and they would couple.  The things… the things Kyle would do to him, his body. The things Kyle would allow, nay, encourage…  

It was on one such night that his father entered the tent.

The next morning, Kyle was on the front lines.

That afternoon, he was dead, run through with a sword.  Those merry, clever eyes gone vacant and unseeing.

Since that time, Alex hadn’t dared… hadn’t dared seek his own pleasure. Hadn’t dared seek anything for himself.

“And I won’t,” he told the woman. “His death… his death is on me. It was selfish and wrong.” He swallows, with difficulty. “Unnatural.”

The woman’s hand is clasped over his, now, gripping so hard. “I want you to listen to me, Sir Alex,” she says, in a voice low and steady.  “Your… love for this man.  His love for you, for that is what you have just described to me.  Such a connection is a gift from the gods themselves, and should be seen as such.  Not selfish. Not wrong. Certainly not unnatural. There are as many ways to love as there are people under this sun. Love, real love… it is the most natural thing. Precious.”

Alex composes himself. Clears his throat. “You… you are not from Unidos.  I’ve suspected from some time, but now I feel very sure.”

The woman is quiet for a moment. “You are right.  I am not from Unidos.”

When it becomes clear she does not intend to elaborate, Alex sighs. “I… I am glad.” He chances a look back at her.  Tears are streaming down her face.

[lemonwaterwithice]

saffire’s lagoon, known affectionately and almost exclusively by locals in the area as saffy’s, is a beach-themed dive bar a few miles from ucf’s campus. opened in 2010 by a ucf grad who never quite got over his senior spring break trip to cancun, it’s known for its cheap drinks and lax security, making it a favorite among college kids and young adults. saffy’s features over ten bars inside and outside, a shot wheel, and a large man-made “beach” - an outdoor area covered in sand with a few “lagoons” throughout, where you’ll find mermaids pouring shots thursday through saturday. no one would ever describe saffy’s as quiet or clean and the service most nights is questionable at best, but it’s developed an almost cult-like following in the years it’s been open. people love saffy’s for what it is - a place to see classmates (or old classmates), drink $2 beer, and make questionable decisions without judgment.

hm? is this based on my two favorite bars bc i don’t know if i’ll get to go this summer? mayhaps!! but in any case, i’m looking for a group of co-dependent co-workers who contribute to the charm and the chaos that is saffy’s. 

JACK / owner (first last, 32+, played by name) — founded saffire’s lagoon sometime after his college graduation in 2010 - whether it was a quarter-life crisis or a lifelong dream, the story changes depending on who asks. big time peter pan complex, could stand to do some growing up, just might for LAURA if she would ever give him the time of day. may or may not be the reason that the whole “never trust a man whose name starts with j” trend started going around, but he takes excellent care of the people he employs. despite his carefree attitude, saffy’s is his baby, he put blood, sweat, and tears into making it what it is, and he continues to work hard to ensure it’s success.

LAURA / front bar (first last, 30+, reserved for del) — has been working at saffy’s for as long as it’s been open and is almost as integral to its success as JACK is. the two of them are as close as one would expect after working together for ten years, although LAURA refuses to acknowledge that time they slept together after the infamous Holiday Party of 2015. she’s got the patience of a saint, usually the one left to train the new employees and ultimately decide who makes it working here or not. a tough love kinda gal, but always willing to lend a helping hand for the greater good. good at her job, dammit, just don’t try to pry into her personal life.

CALEB / beach bar (first last, 25+, played by name) — CALEB is LAURA’S younger brother (or cousin or bff, utp!!), something the rest of the staff figured out quick because his behavior would never have flown otherwise. like, LAURA once caught him and RILEY doing coke in the bathroom during one of their breaks but let it go. also sometimes drinks on the job when he feels like it. lazy, but well-meaning, no one can find it in their heart to stay mad at CALEB for too long, even when they have to pick up his slack. prefers to spend his shifts flirting with JACK, too preoccupied looking around to see where he’s at on any given night to notice that ANGEL has been trying to get his attention.

ANGEL / beach bar (first last, 22+, reserved for jenn) — despite being hired around the same time as RILEY, MARA, OLIVER, and KYLE, no one knows much of anything about angel. but it’s not for lack of trying. it’s gotten to the point where the co-workers make up stories about her background and place bets on who can get closest to the truth, if ANGEL is willing to confirm anything in the first place. it’s not that she don’t want to share anything about herself, she’s just quiet, and it’s become kind of fun being the mysterious one in the bar. unbeknownst to the rest of the group, and without even realizing it himself, CALEB knows ANGEL better than anyone else.

RILEY / shot wheel + mermaid (riley emerson, 22, sydney sweeney, played by alex) — applied to work at saffy’s because her boyfriend at the time, KYLE, got an interview. they broke up (for the first time) shortly after, but she decided not to quit bc she really liked the attention of bartending. they’ve been off and on for the majority of their time at saffy’s, though in the last year or so, they broke up for good. RILEY is easygoing and friendly, usually the one found playing therapist to drunk girls at her bar. sometimes acts without thinking which has gotten her into more than a few sticky situations. trying to be more responsible now that she’s a college grad, which finds her turning down all of OLIVER’S advances.

MARA / beach bar + mermaid (holly mack, 24, kristine froseth, played by maddie) — MARA’S got a rep for being kinda mean to customers, but she’s so pretty that no one has ever complained. lives with the RILEY, but whether they hate or love each other just depends on the day. they had a 3-way with KYLE after the aforementioned Holiday Party of 2015, which continues to be the butt of many jokes among the staff. went on a date with KYLE shortly after that, but felt guilty bc of his relationship with RILEY so she made him swear to keep it a secret and she keeps him at an arm’s length to this day.

OLIVER / bouncer (first last, 22+, reserved for bribri) — something of a celebrity in the bar - there was once an entire instagram account dedicated to “saffy’s hot bouncer”. the attention mostly goes over his head, but JACK is happy to have him outside the front door most nights to bring business in. OLIVER’S a good guy, level-headed and patient enough to break up fights and turn away drunk people without anything ever escalating. he’s had a crush on RILEY since they all started working together four years ago, but kept his distance out of respect for KYLE. now that they’ve finally broken up, the two of them have been getting a lot closer, but he can’t tell how she actually feels about it.

KYLE / shot wheel (first last, 22+ reserved for derek) —KYLE is the resident himbo. pretty harmless because he’s so dumb, although like RILEY, he trends towards impulsiveness more often than not. KYLE’S the one behind some of the more chaotic practices and themes at saffy’s (i.e.: hawaiian shirt night). only got put at the shot wheel because they needed someone tall enough and strong enough to be able to spin it. he’s been trying to get moved to the beach bar so that he can spend more time with MARA because he knows that he can charm her if he can just get the chance. 

ok so! this is just a list of co-workers that riley is closest with, but i am completely open to other staff members as well! they can be intermingled with the core group i have listed if you have ideas, or they can just be begrudging witnesses as they try to go about their job. i’m also open to other positions besides bartenders/bouncers, like bar backs and cooks, or the more administrative side of things, like marketing managers or operations. just let me know if you’re looking for a job for your character and what you have in mind, i’d be more than happy to squeeze as many people in as possible! reply here or add me on discord (alex???#0019) and i’d be happy to chat. thx for reading :)

first last, ##, owner, played by name

riley emerson, 22, bartender, played by alex

holly mack, 24, bartender, played by maddie

first last, ##, bouncer, played by name

first last, ##, bar back, played by name

+ etc.

[foramomentonly]

Nail in My Coffin, Part 8a

Part One    Part Two    Part Three    Part Four    Part Five    Part Six    

Part Seven

Summary: Alex and Kyle are fashion designers on a Next In Fashion style reality show. Michael is their model. Dom/sub elements. Prompt courtesy of @signoraviolettavalery .

Michael and Alex go public. Takes place between Parts 5/6 and Part 7.

TW: Semi-public sex, restraints

Author’s Note: This one got LONG. So this is part A and part B will be posted simultaneously and is a direct continuation.

Read on AO3

The swagger with which Michael enters the studio in Alex’s Air Force t-shirt can only be described as excessive.

He’s worn it before, of course, usually half-concealed under a jacket or one of his endless denim or flannel button-downs—for a man working in the fashion industry he has shockingly little interest in personal style and grooming. But today, when he throws open the heavy double doors on set and ambles in looking like the cat fucking drowning in cream, the shirt is on full display, logo across the chest pulled a little less taut than it would be on Alex’s frame, but bold and obvious nonetheless. Alex smirks, trying and utterly failing not to stare as Michael locks eyes with him across the studio and sets off toward his station like a bloodhound. Kyle notices, notices Alex noticing, and shoots him a quizzical look.

“What’s he doing?” he asks. “He’s working with Liz and Rosa again today, isn’t he?”

“I think he’s coming to say hello,” Alex says, shaking his head in amusement and unable to keep his eyes off of Michael as he weaves between stations, equipment, and people. “We had a...talk the other night.”

He turns as Michael approaches, leaning back casually against the drafting table and waiting. And with zero hesitation Michael steps into Alex’s space, crowding him against the table with his arms on either side of Alex’s hips and captures his lips in a wet, open-mouthed, not-even-remotely-appropriate-for-public kiss. Alex slides his hands into Michael’s curls and tugs, biting at his bottom lip and laughing into the kiss as Michael moans exaggeratedly, and half the room whoops and burst into applause. Alex pulls back a little self-consciously, but he can’t stop smiling, and Michael is looking at him like he’s forgotten he was putting on an elaborate show not thirty seconds ago. 

“Hi,” he whispers, and sneaks back in to peck Alex once more, light and sincere.

“Nice shirt,” Alex replies lightly, and Michael grins wide.

“Oh, it’s not mine,” he shakes his head, voice teasing, but eyes intent. “It’s my boyfriend’s.”

“Okay,” says a brash voice to their left, “you know everyone’s only clapping cuz they don’t have to watch you two pretend to sneak around anymore, right?”

They turn their heads to find Rosa, hip cocked, arms crossed, and dark eyes narrow. Her stare is severe, but there’s a glint in her eyes, and her full lips are quirked in a playful smirk.

“Let’s go, güey,” she says to Michael. “You got a lot to make up to me and we started when you still had your tongue down your boyfriend’s throat.”

Michael grins one last time and darts forward, pressing a dry kiss to Alex’s cheek before he turns dutifully toward Rosa.

“Take him,” Kyle says, disgusted, waving his hand as if to shoo Michael away. “Take them both. How is it worse now that you're not sneaking around?"

"Really, dude?" Rosa laughs as she turns back to her own station, confident Michael will follow. "Did you think they'd tone it down?"

***

Being open about their relationship is better because it’s clearly better for Michael. He’s basking in it, preening for no damn reason, so secure in the knowledge that everyone knows he belongs to Alex. And Alex is happy to see Michael so content, he really is. But as the day goes on, Alex’s mood grows darker, and he can’t seem to grasp why Michael’s barking laugh, his bright eyes and flashing teeth seem to haunt Alex as he struggles to maintain some semblance of professional focus and integrity. 

Alex is working on the hem of their model’s shorts—it’s always the fucking hem—and watching Michael out of the corner of his eye. He’s laughing with Liz, Rosa rolling her eyes dramatically, but smiling. She pushes his shoulder and gestures at his torso, and Michael easily lifts Alex’s shirt over his head and drapes it over the garment rack to his left. Alex glowers at Michael’s tan, bare chest and the sharp curve of his hips, now on full display for the whole studio to see. Alex burns, arousal flushing his cheeks and something dark and unforgiving heating the blood in his veins. His next pass of the needle is a touch too aggressive, and his model gives a yelp as it pricks her thigh.

“I’m so sorry, Maria,” Alex says, leaning back as she bends over to inspect her leg.

“It’s all right,” she assures him, straightening again and gesturing for Alex to continue his work. “It was a pinch, that’s all.”

Alex shakes his head and he takes the garment back in hand, hyperfocused on his next stitch.

“It was stupid,” he insists. “I’m just—I’m distracted today.”

"I noticed,” Maria quips, laughter in her voice. 

Alex looks up at her and she smirks knowingly, eyes traveling deliberately to where Michael is—oh, fuck—dramatically dropping his pants, standing smugly in tiny red briefs as Rosa gags and Liz covers her mouth, half gaping, half giggling. Maria’s gaze returns to Alex and she raises a perfect brow.

“He's a lot to look at,” she grins. “Believe me, I know."

She gives him a conspiratorial wink, and Alex blinks. When he doesn't respond, her brow furrows and she begins to chew her lip nervously.

"O-oh, I'm sorry," she says. "Did you not know he–or that we used to–"

Alex comes back to himself and smiles quickly, reassuringly.

"No, no," he assures her. "You're fine. I mean, I didn't know about your, um, history, but don't worry. You didn't say anything wrong."

She smiles weakly at him and clears her throat, eyes fixed ahead and very much not on either Alex or Michael. 

And, objectively, it really, absolutely is fine. Of course Michael has a sexual history, and Alex has always known it includes both women and men. He's been in this industry long enough to know that the social scene in any given fashion hub is insular and smaller than you might think. He's not at all surprised Michael has slept with another model from the show. They are some of the most beautiful people in the world by trade; it's natural that they’d seek out sex with one another. Alex would never begrudge Michael his history, not even when he currently has a hand on its very long, very soft, toned leg.

But he can't fight the dark, hot roil in the pit of his stomach that is growling mine.

***

Liz and Rosa finally let Michael go around three o’clock, confident they won’t need him again until the final fitting before runway the next day. He re-dresses hurriedly, eyes drifting shut as he tugs Alex’s shirt over his head and catches the scent of Alex’s detergent, his body wash, the heady smell of his skin. Michael runs a hand down his own torso under the guise of smoothing the wrinkles out of his shirt, but in reality, he’s worked up, on edge, and while it’s not his own hands he wants to feel dragging across his body, any touch helps to ground and focus him. He needs to find Alex, who's been conspicuously absent from his station since he let Maria go fifteen minutes ago.

Michael groans as he carefully fastens his jeans. He’s been half-hard all day long, Alex’s gaze a tangible thing, hot and heavy on the back of his neck. It’s been awkward, given the joke underwear he threw on to fuck with Rosa. It’s also unsettling. He's used to working for it, drawing Alex's focus from across the room slowly, painstakingly, with flourish. He's used to earning Alex's attention. Today, it has seemed to haunt him, and there's a hollow pit in his stomach and a dark voice in his ear whispering, You fucked up.

As soon as he's out of range of Rosa's prying eyes, he pulls his phone from his pocket and sends Alex a text.

M: Where are you rn?

He doesn’t expect Alex to answer quickly; Alex isn’t the type to jump for every buzz of his phone. But his reply comes almost immediately.

A:Dressing room.

The show isn’t nearly high profile enough for individual designers or models to have their own space, but they do have one dingy, communal “dressing room” set up for general purposes. Private phone calls, crying and bitching sessions, even panic attacks are not out of the ordinary. It’s a space designed to be out of reach of cameras and mics. That Alex is using it now pushes Michael from unsettled to concerned.

M: You okay?

A: Yes.

Michael is considering a response, his desire to respect Alex’s privacy battling with his need for reassurance, to wrap himself in the warm security of Alex’s touch and voice, when his phone vibrates again in his hand.

A: Wanna play?

Oh. Oh.

Michael licks his lips, pulse quickening. He’d sensed Alex’s restlessness, the steady strum of tension between them, and fell back into old habits. Presumed the worst, accepted fault, assumed he had failed on some intrinsic level. But this is not Michael disappointing Alex; this is Michael overwhelming him. 

Michael grins.

M: On my way, Captain.

[kinsbin]

Babysitting

Title: Babysitting Ship: Alexys/John Doe [Joker] [Self Insert/Canon] Word Count: 2125 Summary: Bruce convinces Alexys to help him out with watching a couple of Selena’s cousins after he gets scheduled for an important gala event. John decides that he wants to help her out too.

A/N: A commission for @bad-blue-moon-rising with her and the Joker again! An adorable couple, honestly, I'm always happy to write for them ;u;

“No.”

“Alexys please-.”

“Bruuuuuuuuuuuce.”

Bruce rolled his eyes at the weak-willed whining of his best friend as she all but threw herself against the plush interior of his luxury card, limbs flailing as she stretched across the upholstery in an effort to take up as much room as possible. Bruce, unphased, leaned back in his own seat to avoid the set of limbs blindly flinging themselves around from a variety of directions. Alexys pouted back at him, as if upset she had somehow missed his form in her flailing efforts. She probably was upset about that, Bruce realized with a roll of his eyes as he held his hands up to try and continue his discussion with the woman before her.

“Selena asked me to help and I answered before I knew my full schedule,” He had explained in a last ditch plea towards his best friend, “But something came up on the day of and, now, I don’t think there’s any way for either of us to reschedule.”

“Why didn’t you just ask Xena then?”

“She’s out of town on a gallery conference in Metropolis,” Bruce’s voice echoed a more pleading tone as he practically pouted at Alexys, whose arms were now crossed hard over her chest as she leaned back in the seat in a proper, upright position, “You know I wouldn’t ask you unless I was completely out of options, Alexys, I really am sorry but…”

Alexys sighed and gave an accepting nod, her fate being sealed within a moment of her begrudging agreement. Bruce had rarely asked favors of her in their entire friendship, a sort of basis built up on trust and communication as any relationship, platonic or otherwise, should be. The favor was not the worst at any rate either. Selena had asked Bruce to help watch a couple of her cousin’s kids while she was away on business. Alexys was sure that the ‘business’ she was away on was either going with Xena to Metropolis (god forbid either of those two leave their girlfriend alone in another city) or a job of thievery that would prove to last a few days longer than she had expected it to. Regardless, there was trust in asking Bruce to do it. And more trust in Bruce asking her to do it and not spill the beans to the woman who had made her boyfriend promise he would take good care of them.

It was how she had found herself in the small, but homey area of downtown Gotham. The street cars roared at the bottom of the five-story apartment building, windows shut to muffle the endless white noise of the city as Alexys sat with the twins before her, their eyes wide and curious at her as she introduced herself with a wave and smile.

“I’m Alexys. Bruce sent me to take care of you both, it’s nice to meet you.”

“Why didn’t he come himself?”

Despite being seven, the words were eloquent. The girl, with short hair matching that of Selena’s, quirked a bushy eyebrow while the boy at her side nodded eagerly, hoping it was enough to back his sister up on her wording. Alexys was...perhaps moderately surprised at the wise indications of the children before her, but, it faded quickly. They were related to Selena, after all, and as such were bound to inherit some of her intense intelligence above all else. So she kept a smile on her lips as she shrugged, crossing her legs in front of them where she sat and sighed.

“He got busy with adult, rich, billionaire things and decided it was best to leave us all alone with his credit card.”

“What a jerk!” The boy quipped up at last, “Let’s buy a bunch of toys to make him pay for it!”

Alexys felt the laughter leave her before she could stop it, the giggles echoing from her mouth as the idea of putting several toys-r-us and target runs on Bruce’s credit card filled her with mischievous glee should it not promptly end their friendship in one way or another. The laughter was contagious, apparently, as the two before her began to giggle in unison. This increased Alexys’ laughs until the group of them were cackling together on the ground, clutching their chests as the banter of what they should buy with esteemed billionaire Bruce Wayne’s credit card continued in their group.

It was at that moment that her phone rang, the tune of a classic song that had come with her phone’s generic ringtone setup blasting on full volume through the entire household. Pausing in her fits of giggles, Alexys checked the caller ID to identify just who it was ringing her up in this moment. Her mouth only split into a wider smile when she realized that John’s name, displayed pleasantly before her with the accompaniment of hearts and a small flower, made her heart skip a beat. Answering it took no hesitation as she held the device up to her ears and vibrated as she spoke.

“Hey, John!”

“Alexys, hey!” The man cheered with delight upon her voice reaching his own ears, “Where are you, Doll?I was hoping we could spend some time together today, since you were free!”

Her heart dropped as she bit her lip, looking on at the curious children before her with an apologetic gaze before answering back into the phone with a tone that matched the look, “Oh John, I’m so sorry...But, Bruce needed my help last minute in watching some of his fiance’s niece and nephew, so, I volunteered and am looking after them. I can’t go anywhere today…”

The softest ‘oh’ of contemplation echoed against the receiver before silence enveloped the situation, the quiet filling her soul with guilt as she pursed her lips, prepared to apologize again and promise softly that she would make it up to him another time. Probably with a lot of kisses and a gentle encouragement of why she loved him so much for cure. Instead, her words were cut off by an echoed snap noise and then her boyfriend’s excited intonation practically yelping into through the speaker:

“Let’s watch them together! Where are you at?”

“Wh-What? No, John, it’s okay you really don’t have to take time out of your day to-”

“Come onnnn, I want to spend time with you! If it means helping you watch some of your friends kids then, heck, baby me up, Doll!”

The awkward way he litingly phrased the encouragement sent a fit of giggles bursting from Alexys’ throat as she rolled her eyes, looking on at the children before her as they gazed intently at her conversation, as if trying to hear through the phone to the other end so they could see just who she was talking to. With a smile, she gave them both a thumbs up before asking her own question:

“How would you both feel if I had someone over to join us?”

---

Truth be told, John was a bit nervous.

Maybe not a bit nervous. Maybe really nervous.

Children were...interesting. Not in a bad way, but, in a they held nothing back sort of way. In a ‘they would tell you your honest opinion of you’ certain way. Unlike adults who dodged questions and faded answers to other answers in a trained and precise way, children were always upfront with their opinions on the world around them. On the people around them. What if these children, in front of Alexys no less, disliked him? What if they hated clowns? What if they didn’t find any of his jokes funny?

The horror of reality caught up with him only after he had made the impulsive decision to drive down to the address Alexys had eagerly given him, his hand poised over at the door with a pale look of shock as he remembered just what he was about to do. Taking a deep breath, there was a moment where he lowered his hand to give himself a pat on the back, literally, his hand reaching over to caress what shoulder blade it could reach as he shook his head.

“Come on, John, it’ll be fine. It doesn’t matter what some kids say, she’ll still like you...Unless, well, she doesn’t-but-she always says that she does! Why would she change that over a nice and nephew she just met? It would be stupid...or honest...or would it? Hm-”

His self ramblings were shut off when the door clicked open. Alexys, having seen him standing in the doorway, rushed to pull it open before he could truly knock on it. Her smile sent his heart fluttering up to his throat as her beauty, as it usually did, took the breath away from him. His own smile creeped up against his lips as he gave her a light wave.

“Alexys, good to see you!”

“You too, John-” She leaned forward to hug him, pressing a kiss to his cheek before ushuring him inside, “Come meet the Kyles! They’re incredibly sweet.”

John ignored his clammy hands as the two children approached him, both eyes widening at the slicked back green hair he sported and pale source of makeup blushed across his face with careful application. When names were exchanged  (“This is Arthur and Mary. Arthur and May, this is John.”) a silence followed, disturbed only by the echo of the grandfather clock in the living room hall.

Arthur pointed to John first, his lips curling into a smile.

“You look cool.”

The words strung the guitar strings of his heart like a guitar, the music playing from the compliment in his mind like a melody to his psyche. Slowly, surely, a sheepish sort of blush spread across his chin as he let a hand raise up and rub the back of his neck with a bright laugh.

“Why, thank-you! The hair is all natural, I promise. And if anyone says otherwise, they’re just jealous because green is the rarest hair color in existence.”

The girl giggled now, May’s hands falling to her mouth as she laughed at the absurd way he spoke about it. The boy joined in soon, the two children laughing in delight while John leaned down to get close to them both, face flushing at the cute way they seemed to stare at him. Their eyes, full of curiosity for the new being who had entered their home, were ready to take in whatever he said next with the utmost attention. John felt his grip on his own palms ease and his straightened shoulders relax as he tilted his head, tapping a finger to his chin as he hummed.

“Hey! You kids wanna hear a joke?”

Alexys felt her heart flutter as they cheered.

It was how the rest of the night seemed to progress. Little by little, Arthur and May seemed to warm up more and more to the man they now affectionately referred to as ‘Mr. Green’. Jokes went smoothly, sending them all laughing as pizza was ordered and eaten along with video games acceptable for all four of them to play on. Mario Kart ended with John dramatically flinging himself onto the floor, as if acting the fact that he had come in fourth place was the death of him. Arthur jumped on him in return, sending his breath winding itself out of his stomach while May laughed through the events. Alexys felt something...warm in the center of her stomach as she watched John’s gentle hands move against the children he already seemed to consider family.

It wasn’t until they were asleep that she brought it up. Both had their heads in John’s lap, his fingertips stroking through their short locks as Alexys cleaned up the remains of a pillow fort long since collapsed.

“I didn’t know you were so good with children.” She mused with a smile, sending another blush on John’s face as he chuckled in a whisper.

“They find things funnier than adults...And, well, most people say I act like a child. Maybe it’s just who I fit in with best.”

Alexys paused to press a kiss to his temple, feeling the stretch of his skin as he smiled tiredly through the motion. A pause. A meaningful gaze. A whisper.

“You’d make a wonderful father, John...Do you think you’d ever want to be one...someday?”

John Doe looked at Alexys with shock in his gaze before his lips parted to a warm, honest grin. Reaching one hand up, he stroked her hair and brought her in for another close kiss, the soft snoring of the children on his lap echoing his decision as he murmured it against her lips.

“With you? Definitley.”

[artificialqueens]

Finding a Family Ch. 1 (Biadore)- Splatt

Not in this chapter yet, but future TW for homophobia and abandonment

If anyone told him a month ago that this is where he’d be, where he’d end up, he would have laughed in their face and cursed them out. If anyone had told him that in such a short period of time, his whole life would change so drastically, he would have waved them off much and told them to go fuck themselves.

Our story starts exactly one month out from Daniel Noriega’s high school graduation, but before that, you should probably have some background knowledge.

Danny was never a quiet kid. He was loud and he was rebellious and goddamn was he hot. The girls in his grade followed him around staring after him like starving dogs after prime beef, and he knew it. He could feel the stares and he heard the whispers and the gossip. He was at the top of the proverbial high school food chain. He was aloof while still being nice to everyone, and it drove the girls all crazy that he had never dated anyone. He had people to do his work for him. He had people to keep him stocked up on drugs and he had a party to go to every week. His parents had enough money that they didn’t notice when a little bit went missing.

Really, they just didn’t notice him at all, and he wouldn’t have it any other way, because that meant that he could get away with anything and everything.

Or so he thought.

Now that that little prelude is out of the way, we’ll start out story in Danny’s English class. He had a begrudging respect for his teacher after he had called out and berated a group of kids at the beginning of the year for having “not a single original thought in their goddamned heads”. Everyone was just a little bit afraid of him. The rumor mill worked overtime where this teacher was involved. There were echoes through the halls of seeing him with other men or hearing him in the staffroom talking about old boyfriends, but no one- even in this little conservative pocket of New York- was willing to bring it up even when he ripped them to shreds over not having a homework assignment.

Danny glanced up at the nameplate next to the door and sighed to himself, remembering that the kid who was supposed to have written his short answer responses hadn’t pulled through for him this time.

He walked in and took his usual seat in the middle-right of the room next to the window. Just a few seats away from the teacher’s desk. He watched his classmates place their homework in the tray at the front of the classroom and avoided eye contact with his teacher, but the older man raised a brow and called him up to the desk when the bell rang while the other students talked about the excerpt they had read over the weekend.

“Mr. Noriega, I noticed you haven’t handed in homework.” He lowered his voice so the other kids wouldn’t hear.

Danny smiled innocently and cocked his head to the side. “I just forgot this weekend. I’ll have it tomorrow, Mr. Haylock.”

Mr. Haylock rolled his eyes. “Look, just pull up a chair. We need to have a little chat about your work in my class.”

Danny did as he was told and watched his teacher cross his legs and lean against the desk.

“Daniel, how about we cut the crap, okay? I know you’re not the one doing your homework. I hear all the same rumors everyone else hears when you kids are talking in here. You’re a smart kid. You are more than capable of doing your own work, so why don’t you?” He asked.

Danny feigned innocence. “Mr. H, sir, I don’t know what you’re talking about. Who gave you that idea?”

Mr. Haylock shook his head. “Stop it. You’re just embarrassing yourself. Tell me why you’re not doing your own work, and maybe I won’t write you up. Cheating and plagiarism will get you expelled, and you’ll have to repeat your senior year. I don’t think you want that.” He threatened.

“Okay, say hypothetically I did admit to what you’re accusing me of- which I am not doing. How do I know you wouldn’t still write me up?” Danny frowned.

The corners of Mr. Haylock’s mouth tweaked upwards in a slight grin. “Because I’m not the one sitting here lying to your face. I know exactly what has been going on and I could pull witnesses from your class and the class of the poor boy you’ve tricked into doing the work for you, but I won’t if you come clean.”

Danny’s eyes widened slightly in shock at the blatant blackmail. “Hey, Kyle is a good kid. Don’t pull him into this.”

“So you’re admitting to it? Why does Kyle do all of your homework? Your in-class essays are pretty good. If you actually tried and did your work, you could excel.” Roy leaned forwards a little more.

Danny took a minute to weigh his options, but he knew he couldn’t pull the poor nerd into his mess. “Kyle does my homework because he offered to in exchange for me getting him a date with some girl. Please don’t punish him. It was my idea.” Another lie, but Mr. Haylock didn’t need to know that Kyle had been the one to approach him.

Roy nodded. “See me after class, and we’ll talk about how you’re going to make up all the work you’ve missed. Go back to your desk.”

Danny pushed the chair back to its place with more force than necessary. He was pissed that he had been caught, but even moreso that he had gotten Kyle caught. He sat heavily in his desk, put his head down, and took a deep, calming breath. He perked up slightly in confusion when he noticed that something about the air since being up at Mr. Haylock’s desk now seemed… somehow wrong. He took another deep breath to see if it was just his imagination and felt the same way.

His teacher glanced over at him questioningly and Danny put his head back down until the other students had finished their group discussions.

At the end of class, Danny assured his friends that everything was okay, and he just needed to stay back to make up a quiz he had missed the week before and headed back to his desk.

“Mr. Noriega, what do you think you’re doing?” Mr. Haylock asked when his student sat back in his desk. “No. Come up to the front and pull that chair up again.”

Danny sighed and nodded, slowly letting the legs of the chair scrape the ground in the short distance to the desk.

“Here’s how we’re going to play this. I am going to pretend to not judge you when you tell me which of these assignments were not your own work, and you are going to stay with me after school and at lunch every day until you have finished them by yourself. I think that sounds fair. What do you think?” Mr Haylock spread out all the out of class assignments Danny had turned in across his desk and waited.

Danny took a deep breath in and furrowed his brows at the slightly-musky-slightly-sweet scent that hit him. That was what had been missing at his desk. He looked concerned between his teacher and the assignments and ran his hand through his unruly hair.

“Daniel, what’s wrong?” Mr. Haylock asked.

The boy shook his head. “No, nothing is wrong. Just-” He trailed off and started pulling out papers. He handed the stack over to his teacher and met his eye with a blank expression.

Roy fingered through it and sighed. “You have a lot of work here. What would your parents say if they knew you were doing this?”

Danny shrugged. “You can call them if you want. I don’t think I’ve seen them in the past month.” He said honestly.

“You haven’t seen your parents in a month.” He repeated disbelievingly. “Okay, well, that’s not disconcerting. Do you live with a different guardian?”

“I live in their house. They’re just never home, and when they are, I go out.” He mentally cursed. Why was he telling someone this personal information? What about Mr. Haylock made him want to be honest?

Roy sighed. “Do they leave you alone? You’re underage, aren’t you? You should have an adult there making sure you don’t do things like… like this.” He waved the stack of papers.

Danny shrugged. “I’m eighteen. I’m the last kid still left at their house, so they don’t really bother.”

“You have food and all of that, right?” Roy asked, concerned.

Danny nodded.

“But you don’t have an adult around to talk to or anything? I’m sorry, Daniel, but that’s not healthy. Here.” He scribbled something on the side of one of the papers and handed it to Danny. “Please do not abuse this and don’t tell anyone I’m being nice, but that’s my cell number. Do not share it with anyone. Call me or text me if you need help.”

Danny’s jaw dropped for a second and then clenched anxiously. “Mr. H, I really don’t need your help.”

Roy made him take the paper anyways. “We’re starting with this assignment, anyways. You should be able to have it close to done in the next hour, then you can go home.”

Danny worked silently for a bit while Mr. Haylock graded, but something kept making him look up at the older man.

“What, Mr. Noriega? Is there something on my face?” Roy asked sarcastically and put his red pen down.

“You said you hear all the rumors.” Danny blurted out. “Do you mean all of them all of them?”

Roy cocked a brow. “You’re trying to be subtle here, and it’s not working for you. You might as well just ask me what you’re worried about. Is it drugs or girls or what?” He laced his fingers together and propped his chin up on them.

Danny turned slightly pink. “I was thinking more about rumors about you and other teachers.”

That piqued Roy’s interest. “I’m not sure I know what direction you’re going to take this. Me and other teachers how? If you’re wondering if I’m dating another teacher, I’m not. There was something going around for awhile about me and Mr. Jenek, but I thought that was just between the teachers.”

“What? No, that’s not what I meant. Well, it kind of is, but I hadn’t heard about you and Mr. Jenek.” Danny shook his head.

“Yes, Mr. Noriega, I like men. That was the ‘kind of’ part of that, right?” He asked. “I don’t mean to make assumptions, but I had heard the same thing about you.”

Danny froze. “What? No! I’m not… I don’t- No. I like girls.”

Roy’s eyes softened slightly. “Okay. You don’t need to get defensive.”

It was silent for another ten minutes or so before Danny piped up again.

“Mr H, can I ask you something?” Danny casually kept writing.

Roy hummed an affirmative and gave his student his attention once again.

“How did you know you liked guys?” Danny asked softly.

Roy put the pen down once more. “If I tell you this, you have to finish at least one assignment on top of this one before class tomorrow. Shouldn’t be hard, because you’ll be in here during lunch, too.”

Danny nodded hesitantly.

“It was something that just always was, I think. I struggled with it. I didn’t want to be gay, but I just knew. I never looked at the girls in my classes the same way I looked at the boys. I never really understood why my friends were worshiping these posters with slave Leia on them while Han Solo was on the next one looking all ruggedly handsome.” He explained. “I dated a few girls, but it always felt forced. Relationships should not feel forced. When I finally admitted to myself and everyone else that I am gay, everything just fell into place, and I was suddenly a whole hell of a lot happier.”

Danny nodded again and considered the words.

“I was your age. I came out right after my senior prom.” He answered the unasked next question.

“Star Wars and a Firefly references?” Danny grinned.

Roy chuckled. “You caught that, did you?”

Danny smiled. “So Nathan Fillion and Harrison Ford?”

“That was not part of the question.” Roy went back to his grading and pointed to Danny’s paper with his pen. “Our hour is almost up, and you owe me two assignments by tomorrow.”

Danny handed him the completed paper at the end of the hour and rolled his sleeves up, exposing the ink on his arms. “Thanks for not writing me up. And for telling me all that personal shit.”

Roy glanced down at his student’s arms for a few seconds before having to yank his focus away from the black lines that cut across his student’s skin. “Don’t disappoint me, Noriega. I’m trying to give you a second chance here because I know you’re a smart kid. Let me know if you need help with anything.”

The way he said ‘anything’ made Danny blush, because the boy knew he wasn’t talking about the papers.

The two walked out to the parking lot together, and Danny cursed loudly at the rain.

“Language, Mr. Noriega.” Mr. Haylock chastised.

Danny groaned and ran his hands down his face. “Sorry. I’ll see you at lunch tomorrow.” He started off walking towards the street in the rain.

Mr. Haylock got in his car and drove up next to him. “Get in the car, Noriega. You’re going to get sick.”

Danny shook his head. “I’m fine. It’s not far.” He trudged along another few feet with Roy’s car rolling next to him.

“Get in the goddamn car, Daniel.” The teacher sighed and reached over to open the door. “Jesus fucking christ, kid. Do they get more stubborn than you?”

“Language, Mr. H.” he shot back.

Mr. Haylock snorted. “Where am I going?”

Danny told him the fastest way to his house and glanced around the little beaten up honda civic.

“I won’t tell anyone, if that’s what you’re worried about.” the older man told him suddenly.

Danny looked at him blankly and waited for him to elaborate.

“Again, I’m not making assumptions, but if you’re questioning things, it’s okay, and I would never tell anyone. Not that it’s any of my business.” he assured the boy.

Danny sat silently for the rest of the ride and quietly thanked his teacher when he pulled into the driveway.

[wrestlewriting]

Insolence, Pt. 2 [Adam Cole]

Title: Insolence, Part Two of ? (Part One)

Characters: Adam Cole/OC(Brenna, because it’s easier for me to write with names in stories)

Genre: Angst. (We can’t have nice things yet.)

Length: ~3,600 words

Warnings: Cursing

Summary: You aren’t looking for trouble, but yet, here it is, in the form of a former friend. And no matter what you say or do, it’s still confusion all the time.

Thank you for the positive feedback on Part One!!!! 

And here’s the next part for those of you that said you needed it :) @enzoshair @alexahood21 @thedeboniardevistation @danapotterwwe @covergirlcollarbones

“OK, but like, what if I don’t act nice?” Chuck Taylor asked, wiggling his eyebrows towards you. Your response was an unimpressed stare.

“Darling boy, you will,” you stated, holding open the door for him to walk through. Once through the doorway, he put an arm around your shoulders, tucking you to his side.

“I’m glad one of us is confident in me,” he declared, causing you to smile, as he steered you further in to the building, effectively ending your conversation about a potential date scenario for Chuck.

It was December in California, and you found yourself back at your favorite stomping grounds: PWG. It was the night of Mystery Vortex, the show that PWG held each year wherein they announced almost none of their matches. It was a surprise to the audience who would come out to face who as it happened in real time. The wrestlers themselves also didn’t know until arrival what their matches would be. It was one of your favorite shows to do honestly. There was something so fun about it, sometimes ending up in the ring with people you never did, and getting to create matches on the fly. The night fed to your creative and spontaneous side, the part of you that you were trying to reconnect to most.

So when you found out that you and Candice would be in a match against Trent and Chuck, you were beyond ecstatic. The four of you quickly found each other, animatedly going over possible spots and plans for the match. It was so nice to work with your best friends. It was even better to work with people who didn’t care what gender you were, and only that you were a good wrestler. It made life so much easier, so much happier.

When it came time for your match, you and Candice had the boys get introduced first. The crowd was excited when Chuck came out, but they practically lost their minds when Trent followed, declaring they were a team that night. The crowd settled down in anticipation of their opponents. And when the opening notes of Pat Benatar ‘Hit Me With Your Best Shot’ came through the speakers, you were sure you had never heard a crowd get so loud.

Candice and you waited for the song to kick in entirely, before bursting through the black curtain together. You couldn’t help the wide smile on your face as you slapped hands with the crowd as you made your way to the ring. You slid in under the bottom rope, Candice climbing through the middle. You stood tall in the middle of the ring together, you throwing up the ‘rock on’ sign, while Candice stood and looked adorable like always.

The crowd settled for the announcer to introduce the teams, Best Friends versus PowerTuff Girls. You watched everyone else’s introductions, and curtseyed at yours as The Queen.

The match started as the announcer had barely finished speaking, when you and Candice double clotheslined the boys right out of the ring. It was a heavy back and forth match, full of team work spots, as well as big moments, such as when Chuck threw you head first in to the crowds’ chairs, and Candice DDT’ed Trent on to the floor. There was plenty of funny spots too, such as you using your chest to distract Chuck for a takedown, and Trent trying to “hug Candice to death”. It went by all too quickly, with the boys scoring a victory over your team.

You retired to the locker rooms, cleaning yourself up and changing out of your ring gear, before taking a seat by the monitors in the back to watch the rest of the show. As your match had started the show, only two more had been completed since then. Currently there was another tag match, with the team of reDRagon getting the win over Death By Elbow. You found yourself getting teary-eyed as Chris Hero gave a speech in the ring, knowing in your heart he was going to be leaving for WWE even if he didn’t say so.

“What are you doing?” You asked, realizing Chuck was standing beside you now, leaning with one hand on the back of your folding chair, still in his ring gear.

“Oh, ya know, having another match,” he answered, causing your eyebrows to go up. “Yea, so thanks for that lovely pile-driver earlier. I feel fabulous.”

“Yo, what?! Who are you going against now?!”

“Me.” Your eyes moved from Chuck, to where Adam Cole had approached, standing beside Chuck. He looked over you, eyes ahead at the monitor. He was in his usual ring gear; black leather jacket, black trunks, and wet hair hanging down his back. His overconfidence was also well and present.

“I’ll kick his ass,” Chuck leaned down and whispered in your ear, causing you to giggle. You didn’t miss the scowl that came to Adam’s face at this.

Soon enough the boys were having their match, with Chuck in fact kicking Adam’s ass, and securing himself the #1 contender’s spot for the PWG title. It had been a shock to the crowd, and you found yourself beaming in excitement for your friend as well. The rest of the show went off without issue, as did the post-show fan mingling. Once all was said and done, you were gathering your bags from the back “locker room”, which was more a spare office than anything, so you could leave.

“Hey! C’mere,” Chuck called from the doorway, causing you to look over your shoulder at him.

“What?”

“Come here!” He said again, gesturing out of the room. You stopped gathering your stuff, setting your purse down on a chair, turning towards him.

“Again, what?”

“Come with me,” he declared, holding out his hand to you. With a begrudging sigh, you walked to him, where he promptly took your hand and tugged you out of the room. You allowed him to guide you down the narrow hallway, and back out into the main area of the venue, where the ring was still being torn down. However, you quickly noticed almost everyone from the roster was still standing around near the bar area.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” Their voices all meshed together, loudly and on different levels, when they noticed you were there. Your eyes widened a bit, as you realized there was a lit cake resting on the bar. And that apparently it was now after midnight, and officially your birthday.

“Do not…” you started to say, but were promptly cut off as Chuck began to loudly sing ‘Happy Birthday’, others joining in. He kept his arm secured around you, forcing your body to sway back and forth along with his, as the group continued to sing to you. You rolled your eyes, attempting to press your ear against your shoulder, entirely uncomfortable in the situation. You hated being sung to, and had since you were little. There was photographic evidence of this. You noticed the shit-eating grin on Chris Hero’s face as he sang loudly, and the sheer joy on Zack Sabre’s face as he knew how much you hated this moment and were forced to endure it.

The song was over eventually, though it felt like a lifetime, and the group let out loud cheers and whoops once they had finished. Chuck pushed you gently towards the bar and the cake, indicating it was time for you to blow out your candles. As you reluctantly walked towards the bar, you gave a shy smile to the crowd of your friends watching you. The whole locker room was there, Candice and Trent, Excalibur and Kyle.

You were entirely surprised to find Adam Cole among the crowd, albeit in the very back, next to Nick Jackson. When your eyes caught his, he looked back indifferently.

You made it to the bar, looking down at the cake. It was two tiered, a dark grey color overall, with multicolored bright butterflies stuck on it. You knew Candice had made it, given her baking background.

Closing your eyes, you took a moment to enjoy the silence that surrounded you. You had no idea what to wish for. Your life was so different from a year ago, so confusing, so new. There was nothing you wanted necessarily in the material world, and you finally felt like mentally you were in a good place. You didn’t need calm, or peace, or love, anymore. You had found your way to those things, through your friends and your job.

I wish that this year I can stay on a positive path, you decided, taking in a deep breath and blowing out the candles. Another cheer resounded from your friends at your action. Opening your eyes, you looked to the crowd, smiling gently.

“I hate you all, but I love you all,” you declared, a laugh rumbling through your friends. Candice pulled you in to a hug, as the group relaxed around you.

“Thank you, it’s beautiful,” you told her quietly, causing her to giggle.

“Only the best for my best girl,” she responded, letting go of you. You were pulled immediately in to another hug by Trent, albeit awkwardly.

“I hope today sucks for you,” he stated, causing you to roll your eyes. “You’re what? 40? 50?” Standing on your toes, you pressed a kiss to his check, making sure to make a loud ‘muah’ as you did so.

“That just makes me a cougar for you,” you replied, leaning back from his embrace with a giggle, the blush obvious on his face. You accepted others’ birthday wishes gracefully, some with hugs, some with simple smiles.

Candice took it upon herself to cut up the cake, paper birthday plates complete with balloons acting as the serving wear. You stood back, accepting the plate handed to you, engaging in conversation with Marty Scurll. After having your cake, you took a beer, as many others had as well. You eventually found yourself sitting in one of the remaining folding chairs, laughing with Bobby Fish, as he animatedly told you a story from the England ROH tour you hadn’t been on last month. The group eventually thinned out, with the Bucks deciding they wanted to get home to their families, and others wanting to get back to the hotel for some sleep.

Chuck, of course, declared he had alcohol, and your “birthday party” would continue at the hotel. So you gathered your bags and got in a car with him and Trent, heading back to the hotel. You were sharing a room with Candice, and after throwing your stuff in there, the two of you headed to Chuck and Trent’s room. Upon entering, you found not only those two, but also Zack, ACH, Trevor Lee, Matt Sydal, Marty, Pete Dunne, Kyle O’Reilly, and Chris. And Adam.

Within a moment of entering the room, a beer was pressed in to your hand, and you found yourself pulled down on to a couch beside Kyle, who began to talk animatedly with you about his wife. You found yourself relaxed in the room, eventually floating over to other friends and conversations, continuing to have some beers. You were almost able to forget that Adam was in the room, especially considering he did not acknowledge you once.

After about two hours, when the clock showed it was past 4AM, you knew it was time to go to bed. By now only a handful of people remained; Zack, Chuck, Trent, Adam, and Kyle. Candice had retired back to your guys’ room some time ago, and others had trickled out after sharing a beer and a laugh.

The boys didn’t argue your decision to end your impromptu birthday party. From his spot on the floor, Chuck shouted out one last ‘Happy B-day, ho’, causing Trent to giggle. You rolled your eyes affectionately at their shenanigans, before throwing a small wave to the others. You tossed your last beer bottle into the trash, exiting the room into the empty hallway. You’d barely made it ten feet from the room, when you heard the door open behind you.

“Brenna.”

You froze in your steps. His voice was the last you had expected to hear. And the last you honestly felt like hearing right now.

“Adam, I’m tired. I want to go to bed. Just…let me go to bed,” you pleaded, continuing to face in the direction you had been going.

“Will you just…come here?” He implored, his voice soft, a gentle tone you hadn’t heard from him in a long time.

You didn’t go to him, but you did turn around to face him. You put your hands on your hips, your entire being looking exhausted and suspicious. Adam considered you for a moment, before his eyes diverted down to the floor. It was then you noticed, as he moved his left arm more away from his body, that he had been hiding a small bag behind himself. It was light purple, with white handles.

“Happy birthday,” he mumbled, holding it out to you. With hesitance, you stepped towards him and took the bag, bringing it towards your body, as his arm dropped again down to his side. Part of you wondered if it was a bomb meant to blow up on contact with your skin. And part of you was surprised when it didn’t.

Adam had always given you a small present around your birthday for years. There had been more shows than just this one that had fallen around your birthday, normally ROH Final Battle. The presents were usually silly and somewhat-sarcastic; a bunch of your favorite candy to “keep you happy and not murder-y”, an airplane pillow before your first overseas trip because you always complained about how uncomfortable it was to sleep against the window, or a handful of cheap headphones because you were always losing yours. You always had a feeling Evan had something to do with the gifts, especially given how loudly he’d laughed about the headphones.

You hadn’t expected anything from Adam this year though, not given the state of your guys’ relationship. Or really, lack of.

“Thanks,” you murmured, unsure if you should look in the bag now or not. He nodded ever so slightly to acknowledge your response, before turning away from you. Apparently he didn’t care if you looked now or not. You watched Adam return back in to the hotel room you both had exited moments ago.

Looking down at the bag, you decided to open it now, curiosity ruling you. Reaching in, you extracted a small black square jewelry box, Kay embroidered across it. Biting at your lip, you cracked open the box.

What lied inside was a silver crown pendant, attached to a silver chain on each end. The crown wasn’t overly intricate, the prongs of it smooth and almost antler-like. There were three blue jewels at the base of the crown itself, a row of sparkling clear jewels along the entire bottom.

You were amazed. It was beautiful.

And you were very, very shocked. This was nothing like the silly, but thoughtful, gifts that you had gotten before. This was expensive. Which confused you even more. Getting a gift was surprising enough, but getting such a striking gift was wholly puzzling.

Closing the box, you put it back in the bag, and walked to the hotel room that still contained your friends. You needed an explanation. Pushing open the door, a couple sets of eyes landed on you immediately.

“Come here,” you demanded as soon as your eyes met Adam’s. Everyone else in the room fell silent. He was sitting on the desk, having been talking with Kyle who was sitting in a chair in front of him. Without setting his beer down, he slid off the desk, and came towards you. You turned and left the room, trusting he was following behind you. The door shut completely after he exited, indicating he had moved the bar from keeping it propped open.

“What?” He inquired, leaning his shoulder against the wall beside the doorway, his beer dangling in his hand against his side, arrogance radiating from him. This was not the same reserved, almost shy Adam that had been in the hallway with you minutes ago.

“Why?” Was your comeback, moving the bag slightly to indicate what you were asking about. He said nothing for a moment, before shrugging one shoulder nonchalantly.

“You’re the queen, aren’t you?”

“I meant giving me something in general,” you clarified, choosing to ignore his smartass answer.

“It’s your birthday,” he replied, as though that explained everything

“And?” You challenged. “Typically you don’t give presents to people you don’t like.”

“…never said I didn’t like you.” You couldn’t help that your eyes narrowed a bit at his response, hating that you never knew anymore what you were getting when it came to him.

“Well, ya fooled me,” you stated. With a scoff, and a roll of your eyes, you turned away from him to leave. You were not playing this game with him. If he wanted to be vague and confusing, that was on him. But you weren’t going to waste your time, your emotion, on the situation, knowing that the payoff would eventually never come.

“Bren, wait,” his voice stopped you a handful of steps away. Closing your eyes, and gritting your teeth, you turned on your heels to face him again. He was no longer leaning on the wall, instead standing upright, looking…dejected? The mood changes he was showing you tonight were giving you whiplash. He was looking downward, and reached up with his free hand to scratch at the back of his neck.

“Look…I just…” he trailed off again. “I didn’t mean to make you mad.”

“Which time?” Your retort came viciously, surprising even yourself. Adam lifted his head at your tone, his body going stiff, his mood shifting yet again. He clenched his jaw, his eyes glaring in to yours. Clearly your words had made him mad.

“Do not make me entirely the bad guy here,” he demanded.

“Aren’t you?”

“I didn’t do anything purposely to you,” Adam practically growled. “You have this horrible idea of what I am, and it’s not fair.”

“Your actions have made me have this idea of you,” you stated. “I haven’t just made up this story in my head, Adam. You have treated me like shit for months, and I, for the life of me, have no idea why! You used to be my friend, and then you went to wanting nothing to do with me! But then you decide that you do? When it’s what, convenient for you?”

“Because I didn’t think you needed me around!” He exclaimed, his arm without the beer flinging out at his side. “You came back, and I didn’t know what to say to you. Evan was my friend too, and it just…I didn’t know what to do. So I left you alone. I figured everyone else had a better idea what to do for you than I did. And then…you just…got better. You were happy again…and I wasn’t a part of that.

“So I thought you didn’t need me around…you were fine without me… If you’re fine without me, then I’m not going out of my way to be around you. I wanted you to be happy, and you were, and I figured coming around would ruin it. And it just…pissed me off, OK? It sucked that you could move on without me, and that you didn’t spare me a second thought. But that’s not all on me! You’re the one who punched me!”

You felt like the air had been sucked from your lungs the more he had spoken. He looked enraged and sounded…hurt. Like you had hurt him, more than just physically. Like it was wrong of you to have moved on with your life, and gotten emotionally better. Like you had purposely cut him out of your day to day. Like he hadn’t made the first move down this road of separation and hostility.

“You didn’t speak to me, not once, past the basic hi and bye, for weeks. Long before I was better, you ignored me. And then you got mean when I was around, purposely leaving when I came in a room, glaring at me, or just downright avoiding me,” your voice was tight, trying to keep yourself from shouting. “I did nothing to deserve that treatment, Adam, nothing. From the day I came back, to now, this is on you. You could have said something, and you didn’t.”

“You could have too,” he muttered.

“Yea? And what could I have done? Approached a man who clearly wanted nothing to do with me? Sorry if that didn’t seem like a very appealing option. Sorry if I was dealing with some other things, like ya know, not crying at every moment because my husband was dead.”

You found yourself at a standstill with him. He was staring, glaring, at you, the hand around his beer bottle tight. His back was tense as he stood still, the veins of his neck prominent as though he was holding in a scream. You didn’t know what else to say, or do, so you just stared back. You knew you didn’t cut an intimidating figure like he did, but you refused to back down, and maintained your own rigid posture.

“Forget it,” he finally declared, shaking his head slightly. “Just, fucking forget it.”

Before you could agree, or disagree, or give back the present, Adam had turned and walked away. He strode passed the hotel room where everyone was, and continued down the hallway, before going around the corner, out of your sight.

Stay on a positive path, you scoffed to yourself mentally. Here’s to fucking hoping.

Most likely more to come to this story. Maybe finally some happiness? Probably not. I don’t know. I just write and things happens….

UPDATE: here’s Part Three

[gordonwilliamsweb]

Business Is Booming for Dialysis Giant Fresenius. It Took a $137M Bailout Anyway.

As the coronavirus pandemic paralyzed most nonemergency medical practices this spring, the dialysis business, vital to the survival of patients with kidney disease, rolled ahead and in some cases grew.

Yet when the Trump administration sent billions in federal relief funds to medical organizations, at least $259 million went to dialysis providers, a KHN analysis of federal records found. Of that, kidney care behemoth Fresenius Medical Care accepted more than half, at least $137 million, despite acknowledging it had ample financial resources, the analysis showed.

The full amount going to Fresenius and many other dialysis providers is far higher than what KHN could confirm. The analysis was limited to the portion of grants disclosed by the federal government. And the analysis counted only grants going to organizations whose primary purpose was providing dialysis. In a securities filing last month, Fresenius disclosed it received a total of $277 million in relief funds under the Coronavirus Aid, Relief and Economic Security (CARES) Act.

Funding to giant dialysis providers would have been greater if DaVita, the other multinational corporation that dominates dialysis care in the U.S., had not turned down $240 million in aid, saying other medical providers needed it more. Fresenius and DaVita each own more than 2,600 dialysis centers nationwide.

Headquartered in Germany, Fresenius Medical Care is focused on patients with kidney failure who need blood-purifying dialysis treatment three times a week to stay alive, billing itself as the world’s largest provider of dialysis and related services, equipment and drugs. Fresenius treated about 350,000 people worldwide and earned last year about $1.4 billion. The company announced second-quarter profits exceeding $400 million, up more than a third over last year, due to a 14% operating margin.

“From what we know today, the net impact of COVID-19 on our earnings is not so significant,” Helen Giza, Fresenius’ chief financial officer, told analysts.

With scores of COVID-19 patients developing major kidney damage, the pandemic caused unexpected demand for dialysis treatment. Chronic kidney disease and kidney failure were common among people hospitalized with COVID-19, accounting for 13% of all such patients nationally from January to March, when the extent of the virus’s spread in the U.S. was just coming to light, according to FAIR Health, a health data nonprofit that analyzes insurance bills.

Little Drop-Off in Business

The bailouts to Fresenius and other dialysis operations provide one of the bluntest examples yet of how the Department of Health and Human Services failed to direct taxpayer-supported bailout funds only to providers in crisis. Massive assistance payments from the $175 billion Provider Relief Fund allotted by Congress went to well-financed corporations and segments of the health care industry like dialysis that were financially stable, or to businesses with ample financial reserves.

For instance, HCA Healthcare, the for-profit hospital chain, posted a $1.1 billion second-quarter profit that included $590 million in government rescue funds. “We’ve seen billions flow to wealthy hospital systems and health care corporations that may not need the money,” said Kyle Herrig, president of Accountable.US, a government watchdog group and frequent critic of the Trump administration. “We should have designed a program that was most likely to help those that actually needed the help.”

Harder-hit segments of the health care industry reported the relief funds were insufficient to cover all COVID-related costs and losses. Some doctors’ offices and dentists struggled to stay afloat after having to forgo visits and procedures that are the main part of their businesses. Unlike the services hospitals provide, noted Ge Bai, associate professor of accounting and health policy at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore, dialysis is “much more resistant to the pandemic in terms of revenue.”

Dialysis clinics said their drop-off in business was minimal.

“For the most part, patients actually came,” said Dr. Mihran Naljayan, medical director of Louisiana State University’s peritoneal dialysis program in New Orleans, one of the country’s earliest COVID-19 hot spots. “We didn’t see a decrease in the number of visits.” Instead, when the virus rapidly spread in the New Orleans metro area in late March, the number of inpatient dialysis treatments jumped 47% and continuous renal replacement therapy — dialysis for critically ill patients that is performed for a prolonged time — rose by 260%.

HHS defended its approach for distributing funds, noting that other options would have taken much longer to implement. Congress also did not instruct the department to determine the financial strength of each provider when allocating the money.

“HHS is acutely aware of the financial hardship many facilities and providers are facing. That is why HHS has and will make targeted distributions to facilities and providers that have been disproportionately impacted by the coronavirus pandemic,” the department said in a statement.

Covering Unexpected Expenses

In explaining their need for federal money, dialysis clinics large and small said they faced unexpected costs to protect patients from COVID-19. They noted that defraying those costs was an explicit goal Congress set in creating the bailout fund and that their allotments did not cover those expenses.

Brad Puffer, a spokesperson for Fresenius Medical Care North America, which recorded about $41 billion in sales last year, said the money helped dialysis centers equip workers with protective equipment such as gowns, segregate COVID-positive patients, give emergency pay and child care stipends for workers, cover the costs of COVID testing and enact a telehealth system to conduct virtual visits.

“We believe our early and aggressive actions, and the vigilance with which our employees have implemented those actions, have successfully reduced the risks to our patients and employees,” Puffer said in an email.

Congress provided the money but largely left to federal health officials the specifics on how these grants, which don’t have to be repaid, should be distributed. In its haste to prop up providers, and after lobbying by hospitals and other sectors to quickly get money out the door, HHS meted out the first $50 billion based on past Medicare payments and overall patient revenue. Subsequent funding was steered to COVID-19 hot spots, nursing homes, providers in rural areas and safety-net institutions that care for higher numbers of the uninsured and other vulnerable groups.

The money is available to hospitals, physician practices, dialysis clinics and other medical entities regardless of financial strength; providers had only to agree the money would be used either to replace income lost because of the pandemic or to cover COVID-related expenses that weren’t reimbursed through other means.

In April, DaVita, a Fortune 500 company based in Denver that saw $11 billion in revenue and $1 billion in net income last year, indicated it would keep the $240 million the government sent. But a month later, CEO Javier Rodriguez told analysts DaVita decided to return the payments even though the company had incurred extra costs because of the pandemic.

“From our perspective, they were a safety net,” he said. “And they were to be used for people that needed that money, because the economic damage was so severe, that they couldn’t keep their doors open.”

In July, DaVita reported a 14% operating margin, a key measure of its business, for the second quarter. That was down from 16% from the same time last year. The company’s net profit was $202 million.

Dan Mendelson, founder of the health consulting firm Avalere and a private equity investor, said the move by DaVita probably helps its image. “They are very attuned to how things look,” Mendelson said. “When I saw they were turning it down, I was not surprised.”

A Steady Demand

The dialysis industry adapted its care after the pandemic struck. That included segregating patients suspected of having or diagnosed with COVID-19 from uninfected people, limiting staff interaction with patients, hiring additional personnel and bulking up on protective equipment.

But while the pandemic forced other types of providers to close temporarily or significantly limit procedures, there was little impact on dialysis services.

LogistiCare Solutions, which has contracts with multiple state Medicaid programs to provide nonemergency medical transportation to enrollees, saw a steady demand from dialysis patients, while calls for other medical and social services waned because of COVID-induced shutdowns, senior adviser Albert Cortina said. Dialysis patients, who accounted for roughly a fifth of the company’s volume before the pandemic, shot up to account for more than 40%.

“It was considered a true essential service,” Cortina said.

Some independent dialysis centers said the HHS relief funds were crucial even though they maintained normal patient loads. Northwest Kidney Centers, a nonprofit that runs 19 dialysis centers primarily in Seattle, received $2.6 million. Dr. Suzanne Watnick, the chief medical officer, said that will not cover all of the substantial expenses the center incurred in increasing protection for patients and workers.

“It’s important to recognize that what we had to do and stand up was like being in a hospital,” she said.

Watnick did not begrudge the large dialysis corporations that accepted the bailout money. “They do have 100 times the number of patients; that seems a reasonable way to allocate,” she said. “What do you say? ‘You have more of a profit margin, but you get less money’?”

Kaiser Health News (KHN) is a national health policy news service. It is an editorially independent program of the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation which is not affiliated with Kaiser Permanente.

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Business Is Booming for Dialysis Giant Fresenius. It Took a $137M Bailout Anyway. published first on https://nootropicspowdersupplier.tumblr.com/

[dinafbrownil]

Business Is Booming for Dialysis Giant Fresenius. It Took a $137M Bailout Anyway.

As the coronavirus pandemic paralyzed most nonemergency medical practices this spring, the dialysis business, vital to the survival of patients with kidney disease, rolled ahead and in some cases grew.

Yet when the Trump administration sent billions in federal relief funds to medical organizations, at least $259 million went to dialysis providers, a KHN analysis of federal records found. Of that, kidney care behemoth Fresenius Medical Care accepted more than half, at least $137 million, despite acknowledging it had ample financial resources, the analysis showed.

The full amount going to Fresenius and many other dialysis providers is far higher than what KHN could confirm. The analysis was limited to the portion of grants disclosed by the federal government. And the analysis counted only grants going to organizations whose primary purpose was providing dialysis. In a securities filing last month, Fresenius disclosed it received a total of $277 million in relief funds under the Coronavirus Aid, Relief and Economic Security (CARES) Act.

Funding to giant dialysis providers would have been greater if DaVita, the other multinational corporation that dominates dialysis care in the U.S., had not turned down $240 million in aid, saying other medical providers needed it more. Fresenius and DaVita each own more than 2,600 dialysis centers nationwide.

Headquartered in Germany, Fresenius Medical Care is focused on patients with kidney failure who need blood-purifying dialysis treatment three times a week to stay alive, billing itself as the world’s largest provider of dialysis and related services, equipment and drugs. Fresenius treated about 350,000 people worldwide and earned last year about $1.4 billion. The company announced second-quarter profits exceeding $400 million, up more than a third over last year, due to a 14% operating margin.

“From what we know today, the net impact of COVID-19 on our earnings is not so significant,” Helen Giza, Fresenius’ chief financial officer, told analysts.

With scores of COVID-19 patients developing major kidney damage, the pandemic caused unexpected demand for dialysis treatment. Chronic kidney disease and kidney failure were common among people hospitalized with COVID-19, accounting for 13% of all such patients nationally from January to March, when the extent of the virus’s spread in the U.S. was just coming to light, according to FAIR Health, a health data nonprofit that analyzes insurance bills.

Little Drop-Off in Business

The bailouts to Fresenius and other dialysis operations provide one of the bluntest examples yet of how the Department of Health and Human Services failed to direct taxpayer-supported bailout funds only to providers in crisis. Massive assistance payments from the $175 billion Provider Relief Fund allotted by Congress went to well-financed corporations and segments of the health care industry like dialysis that were financially stable, or to businesses with ample financial reserves.

For instance, HCA Healthcare, the for-profit hospital chain, posted a $1.1 billion second-quarter profit that included $590 million in government rescue funds. “We’ve seen billions flow to wealthy hospital systems and health care corporations that may not need the money,” said Kyle Herrig, president of Accountable.US, a government watchdog group and frequent critic of the Trump administration. “We should have designed a program that was most likely to help those that actually needed the help.”

Harder-hit segments of the health care industry reported the relief funds were insufficient to cover all COVID-related costs and losses. Some doctors’ offices and dentists struggled to stay afloat after having to forgo visits and procedures that are the main part of their businesses. Unlike the services hospitals provide, noted Ge Bai, associate professor of accounting and health policy at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore, dialysis is “much more resistant to the pandemic in terms of revenue.”

Dialysis clinics said their drop-off in business was minimal.

“For the most part, patients actually came,” said Dr. Mihran Naljayan, medical director of Louisiana State University’s peritoneal dialysis program in New Orleans, one of the country’s earliest COVID-19 hot spots. “We didn’t see a decrease in the number of visits.” Instead, when the virus rapidly spread in the New Orleans metro area in late March, the number of inpatient dialysis treatments jumped 47% and continuous renal replacement therapy — dialysis for critically ill patients that is performed for a prolonged time — rose by 260%.

HHS defended its approach for distributing funds, noting that other options would have taken much longer to implement. Congress also did not instruct the department to determine the financial strength of each provider when allocating the money.

“HHS is acutely aware of the financial hardship many facilities and providers are facing. That is why HHS has and will make targeted distributions to facilities and providers that have been disproportionately impacted by the coronavirus pandemic,” the department said in a statement.

Covering Unexpected Expenses

In explaining their need for federal money, dialysis clinics large and small said they faced unexpected costs to protect patients from COVID-19. They noted that defraying those costs was an explicit goal Congress set in creating the bailout fund and that their allotments did not cover those expenses.

Brad Puffer, a spokesperson for Fresenius Medical Care North America, which recorded about $41 billion in sales last year, said the money helped dialysis centers equip workers with protective equipment such as gowns, segregate COVID-positive patients, give emergency pay and child care stipends for workers, cover the costs of COVID testing and enact a telehealth system to conduct virtual visits.

“We believe our early and aggressive actions, and the vigilance with which our employees have implemented those actions, have successfully reduced the risks to our patients and employees,” Puffer said in an email.

Congress provided the money but largely left to federal health officials the specifics on how these grants, which don’t have to be repaid, should be distributed. In its haste to prop up providers, and after lobbying by hospitals and other sectors to quickly get money out the door, HHS meted out the first $50 billion based on past Medicare payments and overall patient revenue. Subsequent funding was steered to COVID-19 hot spots, nursing homes, providers in rural areas and safety-net institutions that care for higher numbers of the uninsured and other vulnerable groups.

The money is available to hospitals, physician practices, dialysis clinics and other medical entities regardless of financial strength; providers had only to agree the money would be used either to replace income lost because of the pandemic or to cover COVID-related expenses that weren’t reimbursed through other means.

In April, DaVita, a Fortune 500 company based in Denver that saw $11 billion in revenue and $1 billion in net income last year, indicated it would keep the $240 million the government sent. But a month later, CEO Javier Rodriguez told analysts DaVita decided to return the payments even though the company had incurred extra costs because of the pandemic.

“From our perspective, they were a safety net,” he said. “And they were to be used for people that needed that money, because the economic damage was so severe, that they couldn’t keep their doors open.”

In July, DaVita reported a 14% operating margin, a key measure of its business, for the second quarter. That was down from 16% from the same time last year. The company’s net profit was $202 million.

Dan Mendelson, founder of the health consulting firm Avalere and a private equity investor, said the move by DaVita probably helps its image. “They are very attuned to how things look,” Mendelson said. “When I saw they were turning it down, I was not surprised.”

A Steady Demand

The dialysis industry adapted its care after the pandemic struck. That included segregating patients suspected of having or diagnosed with COVID-19 from uninfected people, limiting staff interaction with patients, hiring additional personnel and bulking up on protective equipment.

But while the pandemic forced other types of providers to close temporarily or significantly limit procedures, there was little impact on dialysis services.

LogistiCare Solutions, which has contracts with multiple state Medicaid programs to provide nonemergency medical transportation to enrollees, saw a steady demand from dialysis patients, while calls for other medical and social services waned because of COVID-induced shutdowns, senior adviser Albert Cortina said. Dialysis patients, who accounted for roughly a fifth of the company’s volume before the pandemic, shot up to account for more than 40%.

“It was considered a true essential service,” Cortina said.

Some independent dialysis centers said the HHS relief funds were crucial even though they maintained normal patient loads. Northwest Kidney Centers, a nonprofit that runs 19 dialysis centers primarily in Seattle, received $2.6 million. Dr. Suzanne Watnick, the chief medical officer, said that will not cover all of the substantial expenses the center incurred in increasing protection for patients and workers.

“It’s important to recognize that what we had to do and stand up was like being in a hospital,” she said.

Watnick did not begrudge the large dialysis corporations that accepted the bailout money. “They do have 100 times the number of patients; that seems a reasonable way to allocate,” she said. “What do you say? ‘You have more of a profit margin, but you get less money’?”

Kaiser Health News (KHN) is a national health policy news service. It is an editorially independent program of the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation which is not affiliated with Kaiser Permanente.

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from Updates By Dina https://khn.org/news/business-is-booming-for-dialysis-giant-fresenius-it-took-a-137m-bailout-anyway/

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Business Is Booming for Dialysis Giant Fresenius. It Took a $137M Bailout Anyway.

As the coronavirus pandemic paralyzed most nonemergency medical practices this spring, the dialysis business, vital to the survival of patients with kidney disease, rolled ahead and in some cases grew.

Yet when the Trump administration sent billions in federal relief funds to medical organizations, at least $259 million went to dialysis providers, a KHN analysis of federal records found. Of that, kidney care behemoth Fresenius Medical Care accepted more than half, at least $137 million, despite acknowledging it had ample financial resources, the analysis showed.

The full amount going to Fresenius and many other dialysis providers is far higher than what KHN could confirm. The analysis was limited to the portion of grants disclosed by the federal government. And the analysis counted only grants going to organizations whose primary purpose was providing dialysis. In a securities filing last month, Fresenius disclosed it received a total of $277 million in relief funds under the Coronavirus Aid, Relief and Economic Security (CARES) Act.

Funding to giant dialysis providers would have been greater if DaVita, the other multinational corporation that dominates dialysis care in the U.S., had not turned down $240 million in aid, saying other medical providers needed it more. Fresenius and DaVita each own more than 2,600 dialysis centers nationwide.

Headquartered in Germany, Fresenius Medical Care is focused on patients with kidney failure who need blood-purifying dialysis treatment three times a week to stay alive, billing itself as the world’s largest provider of dialysis and related services, equipment and drugs. Fresenius treated about 350,000 people worldwide and earned last year about $1.4 billion. The company announced second-quarter profits exceeding $400 million, up more than a third over last year, due to a 14% operating margin.

“From what we know today, the net impact of COVID-19 on our earnings is not so significant,” Helen Giza, Fresenius’ chief financial officer, told analysts.

With scores of COVID-19 patients developing major kidney damage, the pandemic caused unexpected demand for dialysis treatment. Chronic kidney disease and kidney failure were common among people hospitalized with COVID-19, accounting for 13% of all such patients nationally from January to March, when the extent of the virus’s spread in the U.S. was just coming to light, according to FAIR Health, a health data nonprofit that analyzes insurance bills.

Little Drop-Off in Business

The bailouts to Fresenius and other dialysis operations provide one of the bluntest examples yet of how the Department of Health and Human Services failed to direct taxpayer-supported bailout funds only to providers in crisis. Massive assistance payments from the $175 billion Provider Relief Fund allotted by Congress went to well-financed corporations and segments of the health care industry like dialysis that were financially stable, or to businesses with ample financial reserves.

For instance, HCA Healthcare, the for-profit hospital chain, posted a $1.1 billion second-quarter profit that included $590 million in government rescue funds. “We’ve seen billions flow to wealthy hospital systems and health care corporations that may not need the money,” said Kyle Herrig, president of Accountable.US, a government watchdog group and frequent critic of the Trump administration. “We should have designed a program that was most likely to help those that actually needed the help.”

Harder-hit segments of the health care industry reported the relief funds were insufficient to cover all COVID-related costs and losses. Some doctors’ offices and dentists struggled to stay afloat after having to forgo visits and procedures that are the main part of their businesses. Unlike the services hospitals provide, noted Ge Bai, associate professor of accounting and health policy at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore, dialysis is “much more resistant to the pandemic in terms of revenue.”

Dialysis clinics said their drop-off in business was minimal.

“For the most part, patients actually came,” said Dr. Mihran Naljayan, medical director of Louisiana State University’s peritoneal dialysis program in New Orleans, one of the country’s earliest COVID-19 hot spots. “We didn’t see a decrease in the number of visits.” Instead, when the virus rapidly spread in the New Orleans metro area in late March, the number of inpatient dialysis treatments jumped 47% and continuous renal replacement therapy — dialysis for critically ill patients that is performed for a prolonged time — rose by 260%.

HHS defended its approach for distributing funds, noting that other options would have taken much longer to implement. Congress also did not instruct the department to determine the financial strength of each provider when allocating the money.

“HHS is acutely aware of the financial hardship many facilities and providers are facing. That is why HHS has and will make targeted distributions to facilities and providers that have been disproportionately impacted by the coronavirus pandemic,” the department said in a statement.

Covering Unexpected Expenses

In explaining their need for federal money, dialysis clinics large and small said they faced unexpected costs to protect patients from COVID-19. They noted that defraying those costs was an explicit goal Congress set in creating the bailout fund and that their allotments did not cover those expenses.

Brad Puffer, a spokesperson for Fresenius Medical Care North America, which recorded about $41 billion in sales last year, said the money helped dialysis centers equip workers with protective equipment such as gowns, segregate COVID-positive patients, give emergency pay and child care stipends for workers, cover the costs of COVID testing and enact a telehealth system to conduct virtual visits.

“We believe our early and aggressive actions, and the vigilance with which our employees have implemented those actions, have successfully reduced the risks to our patients and employees,” Puffer said in an email.

Congress provided the money but largely left to federal health officials the specifics on how these grants, which don’t have to be repaid, should be distributed. In its haste to prop up providers, and after lobbying by hospitals and other sectors to quickly get money out the door, HHS meted out the first $50 billion based on past Medicare payments and overall patient revenue. Subsequent funding was steered to COVID-19 hot spots, nursing homes, providers in rural areas and safety-net institutions that care for higher numbers of the uninsured and other vulnerable groups.

The money is available to hospitals, physician practices, dialysis clinics and other medical entities regardless of financial strength; providers had only to agree the money would be used either to replace income lost because of the pandemic or to cover COVID-related expenses that weren’t reimbursed through other means.

In April, DaVita, a Fortune 500 company based in Denver that saw $11 billion in revenue and $1 billion in net income last year, indicated it would keep the $240 million the government sent. But a month later, CEO Javier Rodriguez told analysts DaVita decided to return the payments even though the company had incurred extra costs because of the pandemic.

“From our perspective, they were a safety net,” he said. “And they were to be used for people that needed that money, because the economic damage was so severe, that they couldn’t keep their doors open.”

In July, DaVita reported a 14% operating margin, a key measure of its business, for the second quarter. That was down from 16% from the same time last year. The company’s net profit was $202 million.

Dan Mendelson, founder of the health consulting firm Avalere and a private equity investor, said the move by DaVita probably helps its image. “They are very attuned to how things look,” Mendelson said. “When I saw they were turning it down, I was not surprised.”

A Steady Demand

The dialysis industry adapted its care after the pandemic struck. That included segregating patients suspected of having or diagnosed with COVID-19 from uninfected people, limiting staff interaction with patients, hiring additional personnel and bulking up on protective equipment.

But while the pandemic forced other types of providers to close temporarily or significantly limit procedures, there was little impact on dialysis services.

LogistiCare Solutions, which has contracts with multiple state Medicaid programs to provide nonemergency medical transportation to enrollees, saw a steady demand from dialysis patients, while calls for other medical and social services waned because of COVID-induced shutdowns, senior adviser Albert Cortina said. Dialysis patients, who accounted for roughly a fifth of the company’s volume before the pandemic, shot up to account for more than 40%.

“It was considered a true essential service,” Cortina said.

Some independent dialysis centers said the HHS relief funds were crucial even though they maintained normal patient loads. Northwest Kidney Centers, a nonprofit that runs 19 dialysis centers primarily in Seattle, received $2.6 million. Dr. Suzanne Watnick, the chief medical officer, said that will not cover all of the substantial expenses the center incurred in increasing protection for patients and workers.

“It’s important to recognize that what we had to do and stand up was like being in a hospital,” she said.

Watnick did not begrudge the large dialysis corporations that accepted the bailout money. “They do have 100 times the number of patients; that seems a reasonable way to allocate,” she said. “What do you say? ‘You have more of a profit margin, but you get less money’?”

Kaiser Health News (KHN) is a national health policy news service. It is an editorially independent program of the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation which is not affiliated with Kaiser Permanente.

USE OUR CONTENT

This story can be republished for free (details).

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