#kurt: renaissance faire adjustments | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ranwing · 8 years ago

Text

Kadam Fic: All’s Faire In Love and War (1/1)

Title: All’s Faire In Love and War Pairing(s), Characters(s): Kadam, Kurt Hummel, Adam Crawford, Blaine Anderson, Original Characters Rating: PG13 Genre(s): slight canon divergence, major lol Klaine and Blaine (I mean this - am not at all nice to him here. Parts: 1/1

Summary: Taking a summer job at the New York Renaissance Faire provides some interesting opportunities for Kurt, both professionally and personally.

Read on AO3

This is something that I've had sitting on my hard drive for some time and wanted to share. It's an offshoot of my misspent youth as a Rennie and proud member of the International Wenches Guild at the NY Renaissance Faire at Sterling Forest (with the corset scars and compromising photos to prove it). Some of this is based on my real experiences in attending the faire and the friendships I made their with my fellow Rennies and the members of the cast.

It's a slight AU, where Kurt did not meet Adam at NYADA and they meet for the first time at the faire. It's a one parter now, but I may expand on it later. Ta!

Kurt turned to get a look at his reflection from the rear and had to admit that the leggings were doing wonderful things for his ass. Well, the leggings along with two semesters of brutal dance classes under the guidance of Cassandra July. That was more than enough to burn off the last of the puppy fat.

The entire costume was very flattering and showed off his toned physique nicely. The white shirt was loosely laced up the front and with the leather vest displayed the broadness of his shoulders and chest. His muscles had gotten considerably more defined with regular exercise and weapons training. The high leather boots brought attention to his long legs. He rolled up the sleeves of his shirt to his elbows so he could display the leather braces that emphasized his strong forearms.

“Hey Kurt, if you’re done admiring your gorgeous self, could you help lace me up?”

Kurt turned to see Nataly standing behind him, trying to hold the pieces of her corset to her chest so that she wasn’t totally exposed. She’d managed to get the corset loosely laced but was in danger of losing a piece or two.

“I’ve got you. Turn around,” he instructed. Nataly was playing a member of the queen’s court, and as such, her costume was a bit more complicated than most. The corset laced both along the sides and down the back and needed a second person to get the fit right. He’d gotten quite good at getting the ladies laced into their costumes since they’d started dress rehearsals and it was rare that he wasn’t approached by at least a few over them over the course of the day for corset adjustments. Apparently a corset could never truly be too tight, and if Kurt were a straight man, all that adjusting probably would be a lot of fun.

The young redhead smiled thankfully as she adjusted her substantial cleavage, her breasts displayed attractively by the tight-fitting garment. She gave a little shimmy to check the fit. “Thanks so much,” she said appreciatively. “They’re not going to move at all during the chess melee.”

“My pleasure,” Kurt insisted. “Let me know if you need me to tighten it later on.”

She gave him an appreciative peck on the cheek, leaving him to finish his own preparations.

This was going to be an interesting summer job, he thought as he put the finishing touches on his hair. When he saw the notice at NYADA that the Renaissance Faire was looking for actors for the summer season, especially those with weapons training, he jumped at the chance. The pay was more than he would earn at the diner and while the work would be hard and the conditions more rustic than he might prefer, it was still a professional acting job. He quickly signed up to audition and was pleasantly surprised to find that not only was he hired, but he had been cast in on of the major supporting roles and not just one of the atmosphere players.

He’d convinced Rachel to audition as well, hoping to cheer her up. She was still in the midst of an epic sulk over her failure to get the lead in Funny Girl, but was not exactly enthusiastic about the prospect of an acting job that was nowhere near Broadway. She ended up being offered a part as one of the wench singers but turned the job down because it wasn’t a prominent enough role for her. Kurt had tried to explain that because she’d never taken any of the stage combat classes, she couldn’t be offered any of the more significant parts because they all required some fighting, but she just turned him out and decided to take the summer off to mentally regroup.

Kurt thought that she was making a mistake. Sure, the faire wasn’t exactly the most important acting job around, but it was still a professional job. While some in the cast made their careers doing faires year round, there were quite a few performers in the cast who had extensive credits outside of the faire circuit and at least half the cast were professional, full time actors. Kurt would now have a professional credit to put on his CV, which was more than Rachel could claim at this stage.

And if wasn’t as if he wouldn’t have time to relax during the summer. Now that the season had officially kicked off, the cast had most of the week to themselves since the faire was only open on the weekends. A bus picked up the cast who lived in New York and drove them up to the faire grounds on Friday where they would have cast meetings and a chance to do a run through of the small changes to the shows they made from week to week. There was a campsite for them to stay at over the weekend, with a decent shower facility and his meals were provided. All Kurt had needed was a tent and sleeping bag.

So maybe the lodging options were a bit more rustic than he’d normally prefer, as he hadn’t slept in a tent since his ill-fated three months as a Cub Scout. But it wasn’t totally awful. He had bought himself a decent tent and a good mattress pad, so he was relatively comfortable. The shower were more than decent and kept surprisingly clean, and he didn’t have to walk too far for a flushing toilet. It could have been far, far worse.

And he actually enjoyed staying with the rest of the cast. They were a fun loving bunch and once the faire closed for the evening, they got to cut loose and really have a good time. Their nights were either spent at a local faire-friendly bar in town, or sitting around the bonfire at the campgrounds, singing and telling stories. He was already making friends and was looking forward to the rest of the season.

“Kurt!”

Except for that. Kurt had very much hoped that Blaine would decide to join Rachel and use the summer to relax, but his ex-fiancé had decided to audition too. Much to Blaine’s chagrin, his acting and stage combat skills were not strong enough to warrant a major role in the cast, and he’d been hired to play a wandering troubadour. His job was to walk about, flirt with the girls and sing romantic songs, which as far as Kurt was concerned was right up Blaine’s alley.

And Blaine’s costume was as much an eyesore as his normal attire could be. With the bright yellow hose, red doublet and a hat with an enormous (albeit slightly scraggly) plume, he reminded Kurt of a half-plucked rooster. He carried a mandolin, which was enough like a guitar that he could strum out a simple tune while he sang.

“What’s wrong Blaine?” Kurt asked as he adjusted the belt on his costume and looked in the mirror again. It needed a little something… maybe he’d pick up that necklace he saw one of the venders selling later on. Just to add a bit of flair.

“I was thinking… that bit before the chess game… I was wondering if I should come out onto the field and maybe try to serenade one of the princesses. And maybe try to comfort her during the match. Do you think that would work?”

Blaine trying to expand his role came as absolutely no surprise to Kurt. His showboat of an ex was never going to be content to be a background player while Kurt would be at the center of the action. It had been a source of frustration to the assistant director, who spent way too much of her time trying to corral Blaine’s flights of fancy.

“No, because once we’re all on the field, we have to focus on the show,” Kurt reminded him tersely. “There are going to be a lot of weapons flying around and it’s not safe. Besides… aren’t you supposed to be by the Kissing Bridge while the game is on?”

“But there’s no one down there but little kids,” Blaine complained. “Everyone is going to be at the chess game.”

“Blaine… it’s only our second weekend of faire. Can’t we just do what we’re supposed to without improvising for a little while?” Kurt asked. His eyes narrowed when he saw something amiss with Blaine’s hair. “Are you wearing hair gel?”

His ex shrugged, looking a bit sheepish. “Just a little bit.”

“Blaine, you know that we’re supposed to look like we’re from the middle ages. You should wash that crap out before Renee sees you.” The costuming director had already warned Blaine twice about his anachronistic hairstyle and had threatened to wash it out herself in the horse trough if she saw his hair slicked back again.

“But it looks awful without the gel,” Blaine whined. “You know how sensitive I am about it.”

Of course Kurt knew. Because Blaine complained endlessly whenever confronted about it. And Kurt had thrown out multiple sets of perfectly good bed linens after breaking up with Blaine because he couldn’t get the stains out of the pillow cases. Blaine had insisted on even wearing gel to sleep, which was a major bone of contention between them.

“Blaine, what do you want from me? If you get fired because you can’t follow instructions, that’s not my problem,” Kurt said dismissively. He was tired of trying to keep Blaine from going off the rails when he had his own job to focus on. “You should get out to the gates to work the crowd and let me finish getting ready.”

He turned away and hurried over to the prop room to pick up his assigned weapons. The prop master handed him a rather impressive looking medieval sword and matching dagger that were a lot nicer than the practice weapons he’d been using. Once the scabbard was belted on, he was no longer Kurt Hummel, NYADA student. He was now Beau, second in command to the Sheriff of Nottingham’s guards.

He rather liked this character and was enjoying the opportunity to play a villain. On paper, Beau was the pretty boy nephew of the Sheriff and it was being broadly implied that he got his job based on nepotism. But Kurt and Ben, the actor playing the Sheriff, had been playing around a bit with dialogue and by the end of the day, Beau would be seen as a lot smarter and more dangerous than he started out as. Kurt would be kept very busy over the course of the day with various shows that his character would be involved with, walking around the fair with the rest of the guards and harassing the other players and faire attendees, as well as the human chess game and grand melee at the joust.

Blaine’s character was sometimes on the receiving end of that harassment, and Kurt could tell that his ex hated it. He seemed to be having a problem in recognizing that this was strictly within the confines of their roles and was still nursing a stung ego about the role he was given. Kurt’s sympathy was… well, pretty non-existent. If he could play Officer Krupke with some semblance of dignity and grace, then Blaine could play a minstrel while Kurt got a chance with a bigger role for once.

It was getting close to the gate opening time and Kurt went to join Ben and the rest of the guards at the top of the hill where they could see the crowd already waiting. It looked to be a good sized number, and there were quite a few wearing costumes easily as realistic as worn by the cast. He’d already learned that the “rennies” (as they called themselves) often came every day during the season and were deeply invested with the faire. They knew all the shows well and most were more than willing to help out and loved to be pulled into the fun.

Blaine and a few other minor characters were already working the crowd, his ex-fiancé flirting with a few young women dressed as wenches, singing to them to maudlin ballad of love and they seemed torn between being flattered and laughing outright. It was cheesy, but in a rather fun way. Kurt didn’t know why Blaine was so resentful over his part, as it gave him license to be as over the top as he wanted and interact closely with his audience.

He watched as the actors playing Robin Hood and his band took over the entrance gate to warn the crowd about the nefarious sheriff and his henchmen, and couldn’t help from admiring the actor playing Will Scarlet. Adam, Kurt remembered his real name dreamily. Now that was a man who knew how to fill a pair of hose. Gorgeous, fit body, and actually British to boot. Just listening to him speak was enough to make Kurt’s toes curl.

They had gotten to know one another, at least on a professional level, during rehearsals and their interactions only heightened his interest in the older man even more. Adam was witty and funny and just a lot of fun to be around. He was exactly what Kurt could use to nurse his bruised heart after the ugly, seemingly never ending break up with Blaine.

But there was no time for daydreaming about making out on the Kissing Bridge with that beautiful piece of man. Or place, since Kurt’s leggings hid absolutely nothing and there was only so much his dance belt could contain. He needed to get his stage game on.

“Alright boys,” Ben commanded, now firmly in his headspace as Sheriff with a malicious glint in his dark eyes. “Everyone ready? Let’s go clear some rabble.”

Kurt felt his mouth curl into a lazy sneer and his eyes grew flinty as he slipped into character. Showtime.

* * *

The morning went smoothly, the cast having managed to work out most of the kinks the opening weekend. After the morning procession the guards followed the Sheriff around the shire, playing at keeping the peace when they seemed to spend most of the time kicking around whatever unfortunate shire residents they came across. Kurt was having a good time with his character, who played at being lazy and a bit dim despite being anything but.

The mid-day human chess game was always a highlight, with all of the major cast members involved and plenty of swordplay to excite the crowd. The audience took sides and more than a few made sure to sit on the side of the Sheriff’s team and were openly rooting for the bad guys. Kurt had found a few fans of his own, including several members of the Wenches Guild (local 69) who flirted playfully and called out to him. In fact, it seemed like most of the wenches from the Guild chose to sit on their side of the field, ready to cheer on their favorite villains. Both sides lead their fans in cheers, with those rooting for the villains yelling out “Blood makes the grass grow! Kill! Kill! Kill!” Kurt had a lot of fun egging them on now that he had gathered his own group of wench cheerleaders.

Ben was calling the plays for the villains in his role as Sheriff, while Robin Hood directed the heroes. Kurt sprawled lazily on the ground while he waited for his cue, letting the actress playing the wicked Lucrezia Borgia lean flirtatiously against him (partly to keep in character and partly because it took the strain off of her sitting on the ground so long bound in a tight corset). He was letting her press kisses on his neck, cooing in nonsense Italian while he played with her blond curls.

“Beau!” Ben yelled, coming up being Kurt to kick him and get his attention when he didn’t respond fast enough. “Stop fooling around and deal with this outlaw scum!” He grabbed Kurt by his collar and pulled him to his feet before shoving him out onto the dueling field. Awaiting him was gorgeous Adam with his sword drawn.

“So this is who you send to me?” Adam laughed. “I thought I would be fighting a guard and not a pretty, beardless boy.”

Kurt drew his sword and casually advanced on his handsome opponent. “Well, this should be easy,” he drawled.

“For me,” Adam retorted as they began to circle one another. “After all, the only reason you’re here is because your mother begged your uncle to give you a job.”

They launched into their duel, and Kurt was pleased that all his weapons practice was paying off. Adam had several years more experience with his kind of thing, but Kurt was more than holding is own with the complicated choreographed fight. It would certainly look impressive to the audience and it began to look as if the outlaw would win. Kurt followed their choreography and let Adam continue his advance when he drew the dagger that he’d had sheathed on the back of his belt and got it pressed up against Adam’s throat.

“Not such a useless pretty boy now, am I?” Kurt snarled dragging the tip of the blade up Adam’s chin. “You’re finished.”

“Sherriff!” the actress playing the queen shouted. “Have your man stand down! We will have no blood spilled on this field today.”

Kurt gave Adam a cruel grin and pressed the tip of the dagger dangerously against Adam’s jaw before pulling back. He raised his fist in victory to a chorus of boos and cheers from the audience before turning to his place on the sidelines. The actress playing Lucrezia threw herself into his arms, kissing him soundly. It wasn’t much later that the whole game dissolved into a wild melee that would finally be broken up by the Queen, announcing that the battle would be decided at the royal joust at the end of the day.

Kurt picked himself off the ground where Adam had him pinned face down into the grass and followed the other guards off the field. Once out of sight of the audience, he checked the time and calculated that he had just enough time to grab something to eat before he was to join the rest of the guards for another patrol around the shire. Then they had the Trial and Punishment show where they held a mock tribunal and convicted faire attendees of absurd “crimes” before making a mad dash to the jousting field to close out the show.

Grateful for the chance to catch his breath and take a short break, he obtained a ploughman’s lunch from one of the concession stands and got his tankard filled with iced tea. He then made his way to the backstage area behind the jousting stand to eat and cool off. Several other members of the cast were already there and he nodded to his friends before digging into his meal.

“That was a nice bit of swordplay earlier, Kurt,” a voice with a natural British accent that Kurt had become quite familiar with said. “You’re really talented for a first timer.”

He looked up and saw Adam standing over him. Nervously swallowing the mouthful of bread and cheese that he’d just bitten into, he nodded. “Thanks. You nearly caught me with that last parry, though. I almost lost my grip.”

“Nah… you had everything well in hand.” He gestured at the empty space on the bench next to Kurt. “Mind if I join you?”

“Of course,” Kurt said, moving his tankard so that the other actor would have plenty of room.

“Thanks. I’ve got about twenty minutes until my next set and if I don’t eat now, I’ll have nothing in my tank for the joust.”

Kurt eyed his choice of meal dubiously. “And a sausage on a stick is going to hold you over?”

Adam grinned and gave Kurt a saucy wink. “Well, I am a man who enjoys his meat,” he quipped, then took a large bite out of the rather phallic looking food item.

Kurt was again reminded that his leggings hid absolutely nothing and tried desperately to keep his mind off of anything inappropriate, but Adam was not making it easy.

Adam looked down at Kurt’s perfectly healthy lunch, then back up to his face. “I would have thought that you were more a meat eater as well.”

Kurt felt his cheeks starting to heat because he was definitely being flirted with. Giving Adam his most winning smile, he nodded. “Oh, I am. But I’m also partial to those frozen bananas that they’re selling. Something hard that I can suck on when things get too hot.”

The older man’s eyes darkened when he saw that Kurt was more than willing to flirt back with him. “Well, that’s a good fact to keep in mind. Because I’ve been trying to figure out a way to talk to you when we’re not rolling on the ground, acting like we’re trying to kill one another.”

Kurt raised an eyebrow flirtatiously. “Well, we could roll on the ground together for other reasons, but this is a family show.”

Adam laughed, taking another bite of his lunch. “Ah yes… ‘family shire’ as we keep being told. But seriously… I would like to have a chance to talk with you when we’re not working. Are you going to the bar tonight after the show?”

“Am I being invited?” Kurt asked teasingly.

Adam licked his lips and nodded. “I am inviting you.”

Kurt was about to agree to join him when he saw Blaine coming into the backstage area carrying an absolutely enormous roasted turkey leg and waving frantically at him.

“Oh crap,” Kurt groaned, wishing that he could crawl under the sod and hide from his ex.

“I’m sorry,” Adam said apologetically. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Kurt looked up at Adam and saw the distraught expression on the older man’s face. His half-eaten sausage even looked like it was losing its rigidity.

“Oh, it’s not you,” Kurt quickly assured his suitor, trying to control his excitement about Adam being his suitor in the first place. “It’s my ex who has some serious boundary issues.”

Adam looked at the outrageously dressed man coming in their direction and his jaw dropped slightly. “That’s your ex-boyfriend?”

“Ex-fiancé,” Kurt corrected. “Don’t judge… it was a strange period of my life that is over and done with. I just can’t seem to get the message through to him.”

“That’s good to know,” Adam said sympathetically. “Because I was starting to question your taste there for just a second.”

Kurt laughed ruefully and shook his head. “Like I said, it was a weird phase that I’m past.”

“Good,” Adam said agreeably. “I’ll see you after the show tonight.”

“Definitely,” Kurt assured him, trying to contain his excitement over Adam asking him out. He knew that hook ups among the cast were pretty common place, but this felt like it was something more. At least, he hoped it was.

Adam surprised Kurt by taking his hand and pressing a gentle kiss to his knuckles that left Kurt all but tingling all over. “See you at the joust,” Adam said softly, giving Kurt a playful wink.

Blaine came trotting over, the feather in his cap flopping in his wake and saw the other man walking away. “Kurt, what was that all about?” he demanded, his brows furrowing in anger. “What were you talking about?”

Kurt looked up at his ex-fiancé and grinned widely. “He asked me out tonight after the show. On a date,” he clarified.

Blaine could only stare of him, his face getting as red as his costume. “A date! But Kurt, we’re…” he started, only to be quickly cut off.

“We’re nothing, Blaine,” Kurt snapped. “You just don’t learn, do you? We’re not dating and we’re sure as hell not friends. Not with the way you’ve been hounding me for months!

“Now I have been more than patient, but enough is enough. We may have to work together this summer, but you do not get a say in anything that I do. Is that understood?”

Blaine seemed shocked by the level of anger directed at him. “What is the matter with you?” he demanded, growing angry himself.

Blaine didn’t seem to care that all their dirty laundry that was about to be revealed to their cast mates, and for once, Kurt didn’t care. Blaine was about to get an earful and what their coworkers were going to learn wouldn’t make him look especially well.

“What is the matter with me? How about me being sick and tired of my cheating ex inserting himself into everything that I do? We’re not together anymore and I find it amazing that you spend a lot more time around me now than you did when we were actually a couple,” Kurt informed him sharply. “What’s the matter? You can’t find someone else to fuck? Because you never seemed to have that problem when we were together.”

“Kurt, it was one time…” Blaine started, but withered under Kurt’s harsh glare.

“One time that you admitted to,” Kurt agreed. “But do you think I’m stupid, Blaine? Do you think that I didn’t notice the odd phone calls or your sudden trip to the free clinic after we both tested clean? Why do you think I ended things with you? Because you are completely incapable of keeping your dick in your pants!”

Blaine’s face flushed nearly as red as his costume when he heart the muffled laughter of the other cast members that had heard Kurt’s rant. One of the wench singers seemed especially amused and began to trill, “A wandering penis I, a thing of thread and patches…”

Kurt knew at that instant that Blaine’s faire reputation had just been cemented and that he’d never escape the label of being an untrustworthy cheater by his own admission. He would have felt sorry had Blaine not made himself such an utter pain.

Utterly humiliated now that he had admitted in front of their cast mates that he had cheated on Kurt, Blaine stormed away, the ridiculous plume on his hat limp and betraying his embarrassment. Kurt huffed, glad that he might have finally gotten that things between them were over through Blaine’s thick, gel covered skull. And it felt refreshing to have admiring and sympathetic looks coming from their fellow actors were admiring and supportive towards him, rather than accusatory.

In the meantime… he had a show to focus on and a date in the evening to look forward to.

#kadam fic #kurt hummel #adam crawford #lol blaine #alls faire in love and war

47 notes · View notes