#kpopwriter-sky

[sugarushsuga]

Wherever You Go

Genre: Smut; Fluff-ish; Vampire!AU; Drable

Paring: Vampire!Yoongi x Reader

Words count: 3.549

Warnings: Protected sex; nothing much

Author note: Is a mix of a scene of Seven Kigndom wip and a Vampire!Au wip that I though that could work for babe’s b-day.

Masterlist

A soft shiver is what makes your mind slowly wake up from its peaceful sleep, it has been a while since you last slept so peacefully like this, and it’s because of it that you don’t open your eyes, you don’t want to wake up just yet. A few more minutes of this peaceful and restful sleep is all you need.

Yoongi doesn’t seem to agree with you, he traces your spine with the tip of his fingers, so softly they barely touch your skin, but it’s enough to bring shivers down your body. He knows very well what he is doing. His soft chuckle proves it, the way he moves his fingers up to the hair line on the back of your neck and then follows your spine back down until the soft sheet that covers the lower part of your body.

“I know you’re awake!” He chuckles. “I can see you shivering now, your heartbeat increased and so your breathing.” He declares.

Very slowly you turn your head on the pillow, now facing him but keeping your eyes shut. “I haven’t slept this well in a few years.” your voice is hoarse from sleep.

“I’m glad you slept well.” He caresses your cheek with the back of his fingers, so soft you could even mistake it for a feather, and you hum hugging your pillow.

The silence that settles is a comfortable one where you can only hear your soft breathing mixed with his. You can feel his eyes on you, they leave a warm trail where they go, all over your face, stopping on your lips, over your shoulder and following down your spine on the same route his fingers followed.

“Y/n”

Yoongi calls so softly you think you imagine him saying your name. Opening your eyes, you see him there looking at you. His pitch-black hair is messy, some falling over the milk white skin of his forehead and some blending with the black pillow under his head. His dark chocolate eyes are hooded still sleepy but with a resolve.

You wonder why doesn’t he go back to sleep and lets you do the same? He loves to sleep, and you were sleeping so well. Taking a deep breath you fight to keep your eyes open.

He is laying on his side, right arm under the pillow supporting his head, his left hand is resting on your lower back, it went still when he called your name, every now and then his fingers move in small caresses, but his hand doesn’t leave its place. You like the warmth and the weight of it on your skin.

Taking your right hand from underneath the pillow you hug, you gently trace a line in the middle of his forehead, with your index fingertip. You trace down his nose bridge to its tip and you lightly tap on it. Down his lips to his chin. Involuntarily the corners of his lips lift in a soft smile, he won’t admit it but enjoys it. The pressure of his lips on your finger is light but the soft kiss sends a new wave of shivers over your body.

"Y/n, we need to talk." Yoongi pleads softly, his voice deep.

Closing your eyes tightly you bury your head on the pillow not wanting to hear his words and not wanting to talk, you already know what he is going to tell you, what he has to say and very honestly you don't have anything else to say. You emptied your heart to him during the fight last night, you said all you wanted and didn't let him say what he had to say, and now you are scared to hear it.

You think about getting up, trying to run away, using breakfast and the head count as an excuse, but you know very well that after the scene Yoongi caused there is no way anyone will look for you if you are not seeing at the human quarters. Just the thought is already depressing enough. But just like every other time you can't but fall into the rabbit hole. Maybe people will whisper about your absence, maybe they will feed the rumors about Yoongi, maybe they won't even care and just move on with their lives.

"Hey, stop thinking about useless stuff." He says gently caressing your hair, his fingers tips massaging your scalp. "I know you don't want to talk to me right now, but that's not how we solve things."

You whimper on the pillow, and you know he hears it. As he once told you, you can't hide anything from him, is your human nature to make noises and uncontrollable reactions, it’s part of the living body.

His chuckle is soft. "I'm sorry I raised my voice at you last night. I didn't want to, but-" Yoongi pauses and you look at him from the corner of your eye. "I was angry, very angry." He sighs and lays back on his back, crossing his arms over his chest. "I can't remember ever feeling as angry as I did last night, just the thought of it..."

At Yoongi words a chill makes your whole-body tremble, and you grab at the pillow with so much force that your finger hurt. You know he won't hurt you, he would never do something to harm you, but you can't control the rush of fear that runs through your veins he is a predator in his nature. He places his warm hand on your back once again and, just like you were washed away by the fear, your body responds to the safety of his touch. You turn your head to look at him. He is looking up at the ceiling eyes unfocused lost in his own thoughts.

"I'm sorry" you murmur knowing that words are not enough.

"I think I never told you the real reason why we came here. It was because I thought about what Seokjin told me, humans have the need to be social, to meet others, to express their feelings. And I was keeping you away from all of it." Yoongi uses the hand that was resting on your back to bush his hair back and away from his forehead. "I didn't want anyone to know about you, I wanted to keep you a secret, but I didn't realize that the more I tried to hide you and protect you from this world the deeper I was dragging you down with me. All I wanted to do was to keep you safe."

The tone of his voice is not really frustrated or disappointed, you can't really pinpoint what it is, but the sadness that clouds his eyes are enough to let you know that whatever it is it runs deep and surely Yoongi must have spent all night thinking about it.

"Yoongi," letting go of the pillow you take his hand on yours. "When we first met, I told you I'd follow you wherever you go, and that resolve hasn't changed, my motives surely did, but I'll stand by my words, if it's here or at home, I'll follow you wherever you go for as long as you want me by your side."

He holds your hand on his chest. “Y/n I don’t want you to be my companion. I never did. Because I want you all for me, by my side forever. But it’s to selfish of me to ask you for it, I already imposed so much on you, and the thoughts of you resenting me or changing your mind just drives me crazy. And last night...” His breathing quickens as he grows more agitated.

You quickly sit up taking your hand from his. His eyes are unfocused as something, you can’t decipher clouds over his face. In a swift move you pass your leg over his hip straddling him and sitting yourself on top of him.

“Hey, hey!”

You press both your hands on his cheeks making him look at you. He has been through a lot, and you know it is all connected to his past and his abandonment. He is scared that you’ll leave him, but how can you do such a thing when he is the only safe place you have, when all you want to do is be by his side?

“I am here with you,” you say when his eyes lock on yours. “And I guess you didn’t realize that I have been yours for quite some time now. I’ll stay with you until my last day, even though I don’t really believe you’ll enjoy waking up to my wrinkled face when I’m 84.” You joke trying to lighten the mood.

“You’ll stay until you are eighty-four?” His voice is small and frail, unlike the strong sassy vampire you know.

“Longer if you let me.” You caress his cheeks.

“You know I can solve that.” He says softly, almost a whisper.

“I don’t want you to break your promise.” You trace your thumb over his lower lip. “We can think about it later in the future.”

Yoongi rests his hand your tights, his eyes studying your face as he fights his fears inside his own head. It takes him some time, slowly he nods in a silent agreement that this fear will be dealt with later, together.

His eyes travels down your body. Your naked body. Just then you realize that neither of you have clothes on, as if on cue you feel him starting to harden underneath you. Yelping in surprise when he pulls you down crashing your lips on his, a hand resting on the back of your head. Is much more a press of lips then an actual kiss but it is enough to send a new wave of warmth washing over your body.

You press a kiss to his lips, and he smiles lazily against yours, his eyes barely open when he takes your lower lip in between his.

Pulling you closer he deepens the kiss, is lazy and slow. There is passion and slow and calm, in a way of making you feel like you both have all eternity if you want.

Yoongi’s tongue swipes on your lower lip asking permission to enter your mouth, which you give very willingly. He has his own and unique rhythm, is a dance that he leads very skillfully, and you just follow melting on top of him.

He breaks the kiss only when both are out of breath, but his hands never stop caressing your neck, your hair, your back, and every bit of skin he can touch. Yoongi’s touch is soft, caresses of adoration that sends shivers up and down your body. The touch is not innocent, but he doesn’t touch you more intimately without your permission to do so.

You guide his hand to your left boob, groping it with his hand. The strangled groan that reverberates is almost animalistic and his eyes darken with desire, a hot wave of arousal pool at your middle and you know he can feel it on his skin.

“This. I’d like to wake up like this every day for rest of our lives.” His voice is solemn and cheerful. His eyes shine just like diamonds under the light as he looks at you on top of him.

Nodding shortly, you agree, you also want this for the rest of your lives, to wake up next to him and have lazy mornings enjoying each other’s touches.

His palm is warm travels your skin, the smirk that tugs at his lips prove that he enjoys the new wave of arousal that comes off you. His eyes gradually growing darker as his hands keep caressing you on teasingly way.

You rock your hips slightly back and forth, Yoongi takes a sharp intake of air, hands halting all movements, he grows so hard against your inner tight that for a moment you think it is a rock. He didn’t expect you to tease him like this and it’s what makes it even more satisfying.

Rearranging yourself on top of him, in a way where your slit is placed straight on the underside vein of his cock which in this position is pressed to his abdomen. His lips part letting out a wanton moan.

Yoongi places his hands on your hips, he wants you to move your hips again the way his fingers press on your skin tells you that, but he won’t ever voice it or force you to do it.

Teasingly slowly you rock your hips again. His head falls back against the pillow. You can feel his hard cock against your folds, your hips sliding back and forth easily due to how wet you are. Your hips start to move faster as his dick gets slick with your juices, the friction sends pleasures up your body.

You grind harder, pleasuring yourself.

The fingers on your waist press harder on your skin and you feel Yoongi trembling underneath you. Opening your eyes you see him, lost in lust watching your face so intensely that you feel your face heat up in a mixture of embarrassment and desire for him. Breaking the eye contact you look down and you see pre-cum drops leaking from the red head of his cock on his abdomen, you bite your lower lip.

Yoongi groans, “Y/n, please.” His fingertips dig on your skin.

Sliding your body forwards you feel how his head press against your entrance, as you lift your weight up and stop pressing his cock down. This time Yoongi clearly whines at the loss of contract, you giggle and places a kiss on his nose, as you support your body on your knees and one hand besides his head.

You fumble with the contents inside the drawer of his bedside table trying to get a condom, you saw him getting one there last night.

And Yoongi takes advantage of your position, his left-hand caresses the back of your thigh as his lip enclose around one of your nipples. They are already pecked due to your arousal, but he sucks on it. Lips wetting your skin and hardening the sensitive nub. Your elbow bucks and you almost fall on top of him.

Yoongi only chuckles and moves to the unattended nipple. First you feel his hot breath against your skin, a shive runs over your body in anticipation, your nipple growing harder with just his breath on it. The tip of his tongue touches it and you let out a shaky breath, the gush of air that hits your skin let you know he is enjoying it.

He circles the nub with the tip of his tongue, rounding it a few too many times before he gives your boob a bold lick. Next touch you feel is from his teeth lightly scraping your nipple as his tongue presses against the tip. Your whole-body trembles as you try your best to hold your weight in the positing you are so he can keep pleasuring you.

A new wave of desire washes over you and the warm juices of your arousal run down your inner thighs, his fingertips following it to the source and caressing your drenched lips. Yoongi growls. “Fuck!”

Turning his head toward the table he forgets about your nipples as he reaches for the condom himself, making the process of taking the protection out of the drawer much fast than what you would have done.

Yoongi rips the package open with his teeth and spits the foil piece to the floor as he takes the rubber out before throwing the remaining part of foil a way. Your forehead rests lightly on his left shoulder as you watch him unroll the condom on himself from your upside-down position. Once he is done, his hands go back to your waist.

His lips seek yours for a kiss. Is deep, his tongue coming out almost in the same instant your lips meet. His kiss is urgent but also encouraging and full of passion. Even though he is in need, and he is guiding you he is walking on your pace waiting for your time.

Your heart swells.

Slowly you go back to your previous position. Yoongi tries to follow you not wanting to break the kiss, but you do so when you sit back, his cock in between your legs and his eyes following your every move. Taking his cock in your hands, you slowly pump him a few times as shaky breaths leave his lips. He is really needy, and a ball of pride and satisfaction burn inside of you.

You lift his cock up from its place against his abdomen and align it with your entrance. Teasingly you rub his tip against your slickness, he digs his fingers deeper on your skin in a warning and you comply, lowering yourself.

Taking his head in, a soft moan greets your ears, slowly you keep lowering yourself, your lips part as you take him in feeling his thickness stretching you inside until your hips are nestling on his and you are full.

Yoongi’s breathing turns heavy and his eyes lidded. Both his hands rest on your hips, thumbs caressing circles on your skin.

Your hands rest against his abdomen, fingertips lightly smearing the pre-cum that dripped on his skin.

He doesn’t rush you to move, actually it seems like he does enjoy the stillness just to feel the connection between your bodies before start moving, his hands caress your skin with adoration.

You roll your hips, and he digs his fingers on your tights taking a sharp breath. His eyes are so hooded that they are barely open, and you believe you do look very similar to him.

Body burning from inside out from need and desire, you start to roll your hips felling the way his cock fills you perfectly, caressing all the right places inside of you, making your need for him burn even hotter.

Yoongi places his hands on the back of your thighs when you start to move on top of him, his moans are soft almost matching your slow pace up and down. It’s your first time being on top he seems to either know it or understand it from your body. His hands caressing your skin almost mimicking your movements, up and down your leg following your speed.

You move up until he is almost out of you, and then down taking him back in all at once, Yoongi’s moans grow louder hands halting all movements as they only hold onto you, and you do it again and again. Trying to imprint the sinful sound of his voice calling your name into your brain.

As you fasten your movements, more waves of pleasure run over your body making you want to chase that feeling faster. There is no need of words in between you, just by looking at him you can understand that he too wants and needs to chase that high faster and so you bounce faster on him.

Rolling his hips in time with yours Yoongi pleads for you as you clench around him. “Y/n, fuck please, please”

His hands caress and skimming all over your body, bringing shivers of pleasure over your skin. They cup your boobs teasing and pitching your nipples in between his fingers sending shocks of pleasure down your body edging you.

“Yoon-Yoongi” you cry his feeling the rush of pleasure running through your veins.

Sitting up Yoongi takes your lips in a messy needy kiss shallowing your moans with his lips. Carefully he lays you down on your back, keeping your legs around his waist while he thrusts hard and fast. The new position has you crying his name like a mantra as the knot of pleasure tighten inside you, his hips meting yours his thumb caressing your clit. Lips caressing and biting the soft skin of your neck adding to your pleasure as your nipples rub against his sweaty skin making you cry his name as he fucks you harder.

Keeping his arms round your waist he supports your body as your climax reaches you like an infuriated wave crashing hard and washing everything on its way, your head falls limply back as pleasure spreads over your limbs.

Yoongi follows you fast, the over stimulation on your body making you clench hard and his climax hitting him all at once. His cock twitches inside of you as hope after hope of cum fills the condom.

Reveling on the after feeling of the pleasure you both stay there in each other’s arms heavy breathing and sweaty skin clinging to one another.

“I also want this for the rest of our lives!” Your throat is dry, and your voice hurts a little as it comes past your lips.

Yoongi laughs breathless, lowering his weight on top of you. A soft whine of protest escapes your lips he slips out of you once he starts to grow soft. Your blood pumps fast through your veins as the euphoria of the after sex lingers on your body.

Yoongi quickly to discards the condom and falls back into your arms, his hair sticking to your skin when he nuzzles your neck breathing slow, nipping your skin with his sharp teeth.

Ⓒ 2022 kpopwriter-sky, do not copy, translate or repost.

[ressjeon]

thank you so much mell, this means a lot! i usually prioritize the plot more than characterization so i'm glad that Jimin's character pulled through ^^

for the banner, i always try to incorporate the story in it and maggie's really talented because when she showed me this im like YES

like most of my fics last year, i was on a sad mode haha but its changing! and i don't think a deus ex machina's gonna help on this one so it is what is 😔

i know what you mean because i'm a bit the same when responding too so thank you sm 💗

please, lie to me | pjm

pairing: seelie!jimin x mundane!reader

summary: “centuries of loyalty vs. only months of fucking, how could you miscalculate?”

rating: 18+

genre: urban fantasy, shadowhunters!au, angst, smut, fwb!au? (not really), faerie!au

word count: 11k (lol what happened)

warnings: explicit sexual content, multiple sex scenes, unprotected sex (the fae don’t do protections), pet names, praise kink, fingering, breast play, oral (f.receiving), multiple orgasms, rough sex (what’s new), creampie, manhandling, exhibitionism, marking, edging, forced orgasm, light bruises, a lot of begging, some messy emotional sex, poor OC but Jimin just–

a/n: this is part of The Fabled Collaboration hosted by @kimtaehyunq​ (thank you for this gorgeous banner and for being patient with me >.<) , @joontopia & @whipped-for-kpop-fics​. i’ve had this idea even before i joined this event so what a coincidence! the fic will have aspects from the Shadowhunter Chronicles by @cassandraclare, particularly The Mortal Instruments. i also wanna thank @lemonjoonah for being supportive when i’m nervous of writing this genre that i’m only used to reading 🥺.

also, listen this song/score while reading, especially near the end to be in the feels (i cried while writing for the first time lol)

UNEDITED 🤡

― masterlist — navigation ― wips

“To love is to destroy”

That was a running joke you kept hearing with your Nephilim friends.

The Nephilim or what they modernly called as Shadowhunters were a race of humans with angelic blood that protected ordinary humans from demons and they coordinated with Downworlders which consisted of warlocks, werewolves, vampires and the fae. All of them were part of the Shadow World and they called humans like you as mundanes.

You were with your Nephilim friends for a weekend hangout, the schedule they set since they were always so busy with their missions these days that you could barely see them. The booming sound of the club’s current song was what all you can hear while you were trying to avoid the amount of people dancing on the floor. 

Not that this was the only club that you go to, but it’s the only place where you could meet them as it catered to both mundane and Downworlders. Though you had been hearing rumours about demons coming here to victimize the mundane patrons, you didn’t seem to care because you knew your friends would protect you anyways.

Passing through the dancing people turned out to be a struggle because you actually lost sight of your friends but then you felt someone’s stare.

Keep reading

[btsdreamcourt]

Formal Invitation ⥈ Round #3

Dearest Readers,

We are pleased to formally invite you to BTS Dream Court! Congratulations on your acceptance:

⥈ @chateautae​​ ⥈ @h0neypjm​​ ⥈ @magicshopaholic​​ ⥈ @rkivian​​ ⥈ @sxtaep​​ ⥈ @bangtanintotheroom​​ ⥈ @herecomesjoon​​ ⥈ @kpopwriter-sky​​ ⥈

Now that you’ve been Invited to Court:

⥈ Reblog this Acceptance Post ⥈ Include the Court on your Networks list ⥈ Join our Discord Server via your Invitation DM ⥈ Use the tag #btsdreamcourt ⥈ Notify the Queens of any URL changes ⥈ Notify the Queens of any temporary, indefinite, or permanent hiatuses

Your Invitation DM will arrive soon and you will be added to our Nobility page within the next few days!

Nobility Applications are open if you dream to join our Royal Court! 

[btshoneyhive]

acceptance #12

Congrats on your acceptance and welcome to our little hive:

@miscelunaaa​ 🍯 @thatlongspringnight​ 🍯 @kpopwriter-sky​ 🍯 @btsstan12​ 🍯 @ugh-yoongi​ 🍯 @rkivian​ 🍯 @alpacaseok​ 🍯 @ughcore​ 🍯 @jeonqkooks​ 🍯 @lixhive​ 

Now that you are officially a pollinator of bts honey hive, please:

reblog this acceptance post

follow us if you aren’t already

add us to your networks list

use the #btshoneyhive tag on your new works

notify us of any url changes or hiatuses

You will soon be added to our pollinator page and sent the link to our discord server. We are so excited to have you here! Thanks for joining!

[sugarushsugarec]

Divine.

Such a wicked Taehyung, going back and forth between what he needs and what he wants her to do.

I just pictured him doing his tata mic face right after doing his sexy devilish face and finely getting away with it as he always does.

I just loved every single bit of it. 💜

divine seduction | kth. (m)

banner by the wonderful @introgfx​ <3

➵ summary: you despise your quarterly meetings with the demon king, kim taehyung, for many reasons. one; being that he’s maddeningly charming, two; he tests the limits of your relationship every visit, and three; he’s gotten under your skin so bad, you’re ready to show him that two can play his game.

➵ pairing: demon king!taehyung x angel queen!reader

➵ genre: angels/demons, royalty, enemies to lovers!au, fantasy!au, smut, pwp, light angst, fluff

➵ rating: 18+

➵ word count: 11k

➵ warnings: fantasy depictions of angels and demons, explicit sexual content, hard but sweet dom!taehyung, switch/sub!reader, huge dicc!tae, dirty talk, biting, blood play (he’s a demon with it), bondage, handjobbing, size kink, pain kink, punishment, degradation/humiliation, nipple/breast play, possessiveness, choking, marking, so much licking (taehyung loves tasting his angel), begging, crying, orgasm denial/control, spitting, oral (f. receiving), cum eating, fingering, anal play, sex toy, double penetration, throne sex, reverse cowgirl, hitting it from the back, hair pulling, finger-sucking, deepthroating, forced orgasms, multiple orgasms, creampie <3

➵ a/n: lord forgive me for i have sinned, i have no explanation for this fic except complete horniness!! >_< please enjoy this to-die-for demon king tae 😌 as always, your feedback means the world to me <3

➵ playlist: wicked games by the weeknd

↳ in submission for the february games:

❂ “Where Cupid’s Arrows Lie”        ⁂ hosted by: professor ryen @kithtaehyung​​ through @bangtansorciere

⤐  au type: “why me?” // enemies to lovers ⤐  themes: angels/demons, fantasy ⤐  kinks: anal play, biting, blood play, bondage, choking, cunnilingus, degradation/humiliation, double penetration, fingering, handjob, hair pulling, orgasm control, pain kink, sex toys, size kink, deepthroating <3

“Must I really see him today?” 

“It’s essential, your Majesty. He requested the meeting himself.” 

“What for, exactly?” 

“He would not disclose that information, only that he desires to see you.” 

You sighed grievously as you fixed the backing of your earring in your mirror, ensuring it was snug. Wearing your appropriate royal robes, you dressed yourself for a cordial meeting, along with packing your utmost patience and tolerance. 

Soon, you were going to meet the most obnoxious, prideful, exasperating being in the universe. 

Keep reading

[sugarushsuga]

In Your Own Words - Masterlist

Genre: Rom-Com; Fluff; Angst - Coworkers!AU; Journalist!AU - Enemies to lovers; Slow Burn;

Paring: RM x Reader

Status: Complete

Word count: 168.758

Warnings: Romani culture; cursing; mentions of cheating; mentions of sex; fist fight; minor injuries; blood; public place make-out; mentions of weight; mention of car accident; gun; robbery; kidnapping; - More specific warnings on each chapter

Tigering warnings: Mentions of anxiety; soft anxiety attack; weight insecurities; drinking as a copping mechanism; mentions of guns; description of robbery; descriptions of kidnapping; people been held at gun point; character expresses the intention to kill people; - More specific warnings at each chapter

Synopsis: After graduating your dream was to become a journalist and work to one of the biggest magazines in the country. But that pretty dream does not translate perfectly to reality. The magazine is on verge of bankruptcy, great journalists are moving the rival magazines and not being replaced, your boss is a jerk who doesn't even know your name. Fate seems to be toying you around to its own pleasure, can you take control of your life and achieve your dreams, or you are going to be carried away by fate's plans?

Masterlist

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Epilogue

The Interview - A IYOW drabble

Author’s note: This fanfic follows the world of the Brazilian novel Procura-se um marido series. I do not own the series or original content.

And a supper special thanks to @hannahbee12719 for the amazing banner.

Ⓒ 2022 Sugarushsuga, do not copy, translate or repost.

[sugarushsuga]

Pocket

Genre: Idol!verse; Smut; PWP; Long term relationship

Paring: V x Reader

Words count: 6.508

Warnings: Smut; Sex Toy; Oral (F & M receiving); Unprotected sex; Orgasm denial; Multiple orgasms.

Synopsis: Dating an Idol is not easy, even after almost four years together. Things are a little bit harder when he is in a world tour and there isn’t much time to talk to each other over jet legs and different time zones.

Masterlist

Work has been nothing but crushing. Pressure to reach the goals set for the year on their due date or -if you can wrap it up a couple weeks before, wink wink- with no additional help, of course. Plus trying to help others with their goals, plus all the daily problems, plus the unexpected happenings. Now top all of that with two people of your, small team, on vacations at the same time.

Those are just some of the reasons why you have been waking up as if you haven’t slept and going to sleep as if a cargo train has run you over a few times.

The fact you haven’t been able to see your boyfriend also has its weight on it. You both are busy with work, your schedules never matching, and the fact that he is away in a world tour really made things harder.

Is not as if you aren’t used, after almost four years together, you know the drill. That doesn’t mean it is any easier. Text messages at random times of the day or night, phone and video calls that end with either one of you falling asleep and the frustration of not being able to give a warm and caring hug when either is having a hard time.

It’s hard, It’s really hard. But you would never trade what you both share for anything else in the world.

That's, also, the reason why you are so eager to get home, he promised he would video call today, their schedule ends early, and the time zone difference isn’t very big, which means you’ll both have a little more time to talk and see each other. You want to be ready when he calls you. Done with the task of making and eating dinner, showered and just waiting to talk to him and go to bed. That’s your plan when you leave your workstation to go home when the clock is showing just a little after six.

The subway is packed. It started raining just as you were half block out of the office and another half block away from the subway. Every single person who did not carry an umbrella dived underground making it much more packed than usual at this time. It takes you forty minutes to get on the train and do your twenty minutes ride home. On a normal day if you missed the train on the platform It’d take you, ten minutes top, to get in another train.

As you step out of the subway you are very tempted to just stop by the small take away restaurant on the corner of your block before you go up to your apartment. This will save you the time you lost on the subway, no need of cooking and you also don’t need to do dishes. You can go straight to the shower and then heat up the food if it gets cold. No need to divide your attention in between your lover and the surviving tasks of cooking dinner and basic hygiene. You could even skip cooking but after being caught up in the rain and facing a packed subway filled with wet people, there is no way of not taking a full shower before going to bed. With your mind set on your new plan and praying you at least have enough time to take a shower before he calls you walk inside the restaurant.

It’s a small family restaurant with warm food and a cozy atmosphere. Taehyung really enjoys eating here. Just the thought of him has you pouting. You miss him. Looking to the side you can clearly see the both of you curled together on his favorite corner booth. It takes them fifteen minutes to have your order ready and packed, after paying you wave good-bye to the owners, promising that when Taehyung is back from his tour, you’ll bring him in for dinner.

Their wall is filled with autographs from him and the other bts members, that’s how much he likes the place.

Just thinking of him makes your heart ache. Outside the restaurant there is just a drizzle now and you walk calmly to your building. Passing by the entrance doors you take your keys out to open the doors to the lobby, you greet the receptionist and rushes to get in the elevator that is just about to close its doors. You greet your neighbor with a nod that he doesn’t respond, too immersed on his phone.

You sigh as you reach your door, finally home, now you can take off you damp clothes, take a shower and hopefully have a few hours of conversation with Taehyung. The hopefully part is what tugs at the string around your heart. Even though he said his schedules ended earlier neither of you could ever know when the staff would plan to film a run bts episode, or if they would manage to fit in a sightseeing tour or any other activity the boys could do. Sometimes it was just the members wanting to celebrate together.

The first thing you do once you open the door is kick your shoes off and drop your bag. You’ll take care of it later. Putting your dinner on the side table you take tour jacket off.

The light on your room is on. Weird. You can’t remember turning it on in the morning, even if you didn’t open the blinds, you wouldn’t turn it on. Maybe you did it by mistake before leaving.

Not putting too much thought on it you take your phone from your bag and goes into the kitchen, putting your food inside the microwave, in an attempt to keep it warm, while you are not ready to eat it yet, you go to your room. There you stop at the door. There is a reason why the lights are on.

Taehyung.

It takes you much longer than you’d like to admit, to understand what is in front of you. Taehyung is sitting in your bed, legs comfortably spread, his brown pants making a nice match with his tan coat. Green and white sweater on top of a white dress shirt, round glasses and matching shoes.

You breath in and out confused. Is that a hallucination?

“Taehyung?” You try.

“Y/n.” He is serious and that makes worry run through your body. You’ve been counting the days to see him, waiting to be reunited but you can’t understand what he is doing in your bed right now when he is supposed to be somewhere in another country on tour.

All these facts keep you from throwing yourself in his arms, why is here sitting there? Why did he look serious like that? You start to shake with worry and terrible scenarios running through your mind. Did anybody get hurt? Is everything okay with his family? With the family of the members? Is everything okay with you two?

His eyes soften when he sees your hand shaking. “Baby!” He reaches his hand to you.

Taking it, you let him pull you closer, standing in between his legs while he is sitting on your bed, Taehyung buries his head on your stomach as his arm wrap around you. Your hands automatically wrap around his head, fingers treading through his hair as you feel his lips smiling against your shirt.

“You are really here!” You say coming out of your stupor.

“I am here!” He chuckles and looks up at you.

“But how?” You ask squeezing his cheeks and placing short kisses on his lips.

Taehyung’s smiles grows and his arms wrap tighter around you. “Our schedule ended yesterday, and we flew during the night. I wanted to make a surprise.” He says while pulling you to sit on one of his legs, wrapping your arms around his neck you bury your face there breathing his smell.

“But I was the one surprised!” You look up at him curious at what could have surprised him. He, definitely, knew you would be at work when he came over. “I thought of taking a nap while waiting for you to come home and surprise surprise! You’ve been cheating on me while I’m away!” He says without any accusations on his tone but the absurdity of him mentioning it makes you jump up from his leg.

“What?” You ask confused trying to understand the situation.

“Yes! While I’m away and suffering from not having you around you’ve been cheating one me.” Taehyung puts his hands inside his coat pockets again. “I work hard singing and dancing on stage, I sleep on different hotel beds every night. I have to content myself with using my hand and memories of you or maybe your voice to get off while you have been using this!”

He takes the small purplish surgical silicone device from his pocket. A warm wave of shame rises to your face. The device of 10 centimeters just sits nicely contrasting against your boyfriend’s hand.

You bite your lower lip knowing there is nothing wrong with it, is no shame to have it. So why you feel like you were caught red handed?

“W-where did you find it?” You ask nibbling your lips and not missing the way Taehyung’s eyes darken following the movement.

“It was under my pillow, you know. The one I use when I sleep over here.” He says twisting the object in his hand. “I feel cheated Y/n!”

Taehyung pouts and presses the power button. The very soft sound fills the room as you just stand there, knee brushing against his watching him pressing the button again and the device turns off.

“I need a shower and my hand to get me off and you have been using a vibrator?” You look down biting your lower lip to hide a smile. The sound of his voice way too cute for you to be able to take the moment in the seriousness that he is demanding.

“Since the second week of tour.” You admit looking him in the eyes and barely holding your laugh when his eyes widen in shock.

“Two weeks after I left?” He asks and you nod in confirmation.

“Namjoon’s girlfriend was the one who told me about it.” The gasp that leaves his lips is almost too theatrical but at the same time too natural of him that you finally laugh. “She told me she has had one even before getting with Namjoon, that it’s good to have it when you guys are away on tour.”

You explain caressing his dark hair away from his face his eyes are dark with lust, you can recognize that, his mind has probably been imagining the things you do with the vibrator. Seeing that he mentioned wanting to take a nap, but he’s still fully dressed and besides the mentioned pillow being out of place the bed is still perfectly made just like you left it when you went to work in the morning.

“Nam-Namjoon knows?” He asks voice laced with something you can’t actually decipher.

“No!” You say hurried. “She only indicated it to me, showed me some good places where I could get it and some nice options, but I never told her if I brought it or not.” His face clearly relaxes with relief.

“You didn’t tell me about it.” He pouts and turns the small vibrator back on. “Is it good?”

He asks looking up at you. Your hand on his hair stills and you are shocked by his question, and you wonder what to answer.

It’s good? Yes, it is. It’s definitely an orgasm every single time. What is a total win for any women. But you just don’t feel if that is an information, that your boyfriend, -one with who you have an amazing sex life- needs to know.

Taehyung knows how to work you and your body; you’ve been together long enough to know when either of you are not fully satisfied with just a look. You didn’t tell him about it. True you didn’t, not because of shame or anything. You aren’t even sure why you did not tell him. Maybe is because you never mentioned it with each other before, or maybe because you didn’t want him to feel bad as if he is neglecting you in anyway. You know he already feels bad for going away for months with little opportunities of communication, and no physical relief.

“Hm, it’s good, but is not like you.” You finally answer him.

Taehyung’s brows furrow. “How long does it take?”

“What?”

“How long does it take for you to get off?” He asks with a serious voice even though his eyes are lovingly.

You gasp and advert your eyes thinking about it. “Somewhere in between two to five minutes.”

You admit and his jaw drops forming a perfect O. He stares at you in disbelief, and you can already see he is going back to that talk of being cheated on. You step away from him, taking your watch and jewelry off as he just stares and follows you with his eyes, vibrator on and lifted in his hand as you walk around the room putting your accessories away.

“Two minutes?” He shakes off his trance.

“Taehyung!” You stop in front of him again with hands on your hips. “Do you know I just came home running to talk on the phone with you, I was caught on the rain, faced a full train subway ride, decided to dine take out so I could at least shower before I could talk on the phone with you, only to find you here in my room. You came just back home from three months away on tour and you didn’t even kiss me hi!” You complain with a pout. “You’ve been so caught up on the information that I got a pocket vibrator while you only have your hand that you didn’t even register that I’m here right now with you. I could be on my knees sucking you off or on all fours, tied up, or even just plainly underneath you while we have sex but all you can think about is this stupid toy.”

“Oh!” He drops the toy just like the tone in his voice which bring chills all over your body. “I haven't been thinking only about this toy.” Taehyung stands up towering over you. “I’ve been thinking about all of those things you just said; with this toy.”

He cups your face with both of his hands and clashes his lips on yours, not giving you time to process his last words. The kiss is rough, his lips pressed hard against each other’s. Your hands grab at his coat wanting to bring him closer to you. He parts your lips with his deepening the kiss, using his hands to angle your face in the way he wants.

Taehyung is a good boy. He always does what pleases you, always making all your desires and wishes come true. You never need to ask him twice; he pleases you when he is in charge or when you take the lead, he also delivers to you what you are looking for. But there are times, like today, that he is the one in control, he is the only one giving direction and is only doing what he feels like doing.

His tongue explores every corner of your mouth, caressing and playing with yours. He kisses you for so long that you gasp for air when he breaks it, and you’re already seeking his lips again. He smirks brushing his lips on yours, his hands guide yours to his neck and he settles his on your waist before he kisses you again.

Taehyung kisses you in a sensual way that sends waves of warmth over your body. His thumbs caress your waist and the warmth from his body have you wanting to get closer, with nothing in between your bodies. You push his coat from his shoulders, and he takes his hands off of you just enough to let the fabric slide down his arms to the floor.

He stumbles on his coat when he takes a step back towards the bed, pulling you with him, he lets his body fall on the bed with you on top of his chest. Taehyung laughs with your surprised squeal. Caressing the hair away from your face his eyes are warm with love and the happiness of being back together.

“I love you!” You say caressing his jaw with your fingertips.

“And I’m a going to show you how upset I am for being cheated on.” The dominant and commanding tone to his voice has warmth pooling at your core. “Baby, get up!”

You are sure Taehyung can see the lust and how turned on you are, the new glint in his eyes is a giveaway of it, another hint is the smile on his lips, so big he can’t find to close his lips and hide his teeth. You are just the same as him, cheeks hurting from smiling so much but not being able to hide it.

Taking the vibrator off the bed. It’s still on -you charged it yesterday so the battery should last at least an hour straight. You reach for it, but he moves it away from your reach.

“Long press on the button it tuns on and off. Little light means it’s on, short press on the button and it switches modes. It has thirty vibrations mode’s” You explain.

Taehyung lips form a perfect O once again and you groan wanting to drop to your knees and have him in your mouth. He should only be allowed to have his jaw dropped like that if it’s because you have him in your mouth. Other than that, he shouldn’t be allowed.

The soft vibration sounds change as Taehyung presses the button switching from one mode to another. He pulls you by the wrist sitting you on his legs once again, lips quickly finding yours neck as he swipes your hair over your shoulders. His teeth pulling at the skin on your soft spot, your back pressed to his hard chest. He has you sit on his lap, back toward him, legs on each side of his own in a way that makes you spread and a hand on your hip to keep you in place.

Taehyung is assaulting your neck with his lips making you sigh in content with your eyes closed. You jump in place when vibrating toy to touches your nipple over your clothes. His laugh is soft, but you still feel the sound reverberating through his chest which causes more warmth to pool at your core.

Taehyung teases your nipple until he can clearly see it pecking through your bra and shirt. With a proud smile he kisses your cheek and moves the toy to the other one.

Dropping your head back you whine wanting, needing more, needing him to touch you. “Tae, baby!” You squirm on his lap pressing your ass on his growing hard on and trying to get some friction at your center where you need him.

His lips kiss your jaw and your neck, nipping softly at your skin. You can feel his smile against your skin. He is enjoying it and your mind battles its own on wanting to let him enjoy it and wanting him to touch the wet mess that is your core.

“No! Baby!” Taehyung complains in a husky whisper when you move your hands over your thighs in an attempt to touch yourself over your pants. “It’s not fun if you do it like that.”

There is no time to reply, he parts his knees making your legs go further apart and presses the toy to your covered center. The vibrations are not as intense as you are used to, but they are still stimulating especially when you are already so aroused and in need.

Pressing the button to change the mode to a stronger one Taehyung bites a mark on your sweet spot making you moan. He presses the toy harder against your center, the movement making the vibrations stronger, your drenched panties cling more to your folds, and you bet your pants are at least damp just from how wet you are. Your eyes fall shut one of your hands grab at his coat and the other at his wrist, you are not sure if it’s to press the toy harder against you and make you come or if it's to move it away because, right now, you don't need the toy, you have Taehyung right there with you and he is what you want.

"Do you like this?" He breaths, lips brushing the shell of your ear.

You nod and shake your head as the vibrations travel through your body spreading pleasure and warmth. Squirming on his leg you want to move away from the abusive toy pressed over you bundle of nerves but at the same you want it to stay there, you let a cry of need, wanting more, wanting Taehyung to touch you and be inside of you. Sweat clings to your skin making your shirt stick to you. Your forehead is nestled on his neck as your body trembles in his arms almost reaching your climax as you clench around nothing.

Taehyung gives a long press on the toy's button turning it off. Your breath is agitated and it's what makes you take a minute before you manage to whine and glare at him, you were so close. Smiling as if he just didn't deny you your orgasm, he drops the toy on the bed behind himself and takes your lips in a heated kiss. Teeth clashing with yours as he attacks your lips. Tongue invading your mouth and taking away any words of protest that your mind had managed to formulate.

Your anger and complaints of being denied evaporating from your mind when both his arms wrap around your waist, and he presses you against his chest. You cling to him wanting to be closer.

Breaking the kiss for air Taehyung nuzzles your neck his fingers skillfully work on the buttons of your shirt while your hands are tangled on his hair messing it up, his hot breath caressing the damp skin reveled by your shirt. Holding you by the hips he makes you stand in front of him, your shirt is gone.

"Stay!" He commands giving you a serious look that has you nodding your head to obey him.

Taking his time, he undoes the button of your pants and pulls the zipper down, his hot breath against your stomach sends shivers up your spine. Slowly Taehyung pulls your pants down your thighs just enough to expose your ruined paints. He chuckles and tsks at how wet and aroused you are. For a brief moment your face heats up in embarrassment, which is gone just as fast as it came.

"This is your doing!" You exclaim. "A clear signal that even after these four years I still want you very badly." Your hand caresses his hair when he looks up at your face.

"I'm still upset with you." He says resting his chin on your stomach.

"Tae-" he shushes you placing a finger in his lips in the international silence signal.

Pushing your pants further down he helps you step out of it and throws it away. Standing in front of him only in your underwear your fingers itch to touch and undress him just like he just did to you, but you know he is in control and playing his mean boyfriend scenario. Taehyung hands roam free over your skin caressing and grabbing at you, spreading warmth all over where he touches and making you ache even more for him.

"Fuck Y/n!" Taehyung curses as he pokes your clit through your drenched panties. "This are not my favorites ones."

He says looking up at you with the most innocent face he can pull up while caressing your clit and making you gasp as a new shock of pleasure and need curse through your body almost making you double over. Resting your hands on his shoulders you cry his name in need of release. "Tae, please."

"Please what?" He asks looking at your eyes. “Say it.”

"I need you! Please!" You beg him. You know he also needs to be touched and satisfied. You can clearly see the outline of his hard cock restrained by his pants.

"Take this off and lay down." Taehyung commands standing up to take his coat off.

Doing as told you watch as he leisurely folds his coat in two and places it neatly on the chair by the door, kicking his shoes off next, Taehyung turns around to look at you. His eyes are so dark you can't see the division of his iris and pupil. The corners of his lips are turned up, a tiny smirk playing at one corner as he licks his lips. You curl up brining you knees up to your chest in an attempt to hide yourself from him. Taehyung grows at you like an angry tiger.

With two long steps he reaches you in bed, his hold is firm and gentle at the same time when he pulls at both your ankles making you straighten your legs and part them enough for him to see your wet folds and your swollen clit needing attention.

"Fuck baby! You are ruining my role-play!" He whines while sitting himself on the bed. "Why are you so beautiful?"

For a moment you raise a brow confused if you, actually, should respond to him or try your best to stay in your role on his scenario. Usually when he puts up some sort of role-play -him being a dominant mean boyfriend and you being his toy- he is quite good at staying in the role, but right now he has a hand rubbing himself over his pants trying to get some relief. Before you have time to tell him to drop the act and just fuck you as you know he wants to, Taehyung is already comfortably making his head home in between your legs.

For a moment he is just there breathing hot breath on your soaked pussy and staring up at you testing both of your patience. And surely enough you break first as you need to reach your denied orgasm. Taking a fistful of his hair you guide his lips down to your core.

Chuckling he obeys with no hesitation; his game is over. Using the flat of his tongue Taehyung licks up your juices and moans. His hands caress your inner thighs coaching you to keep them spread apart to give him a better access to your center. You don't let go of his hair, but you do break eye contact letting your head fall back on the bed as his tongue works on your folds caressing and licking but never for too long or where you want it.

"Taehyung!" You complain lightly tugging at his hair. "Can you please just eat me properly?"

He raises his head enough to look at your face. "No! I'm still upset at how much pleasure you get all by yourself when, I have to jerk off with no gadgets."

He complains once again, and you sigh dropping your head back. This is not the welcome back home you had envisioned when you thought about him coming back from tour. When he wants, he can be quite stubborn, is cute, but it can be quite frustrating just like right now. Letting go of his hair you drop your hand.

"Don't you dare!" Taehyung says taking the purple vibrator before your fingers can wrap around it. "You are not deserving it!"

"Tae!" You whine cutely at him. "Baby! You are also needy! I can see you straining in your pants. Why don't you just give in and fuck me like we know you want to? We are both here together and there is no more need for toys and not being fully satisfied!" You try to reason with him, his head just above your wet pussy.

"It makes sense." He agrees still pouting.

"Then?" You ask hopeful.

"I'm the one in charge!" Taehyung says giving a kitty like lick on your clit.

He dives in like a man starved. Tongue giving long licks on your folds tasting your wetness. His lips enclose around your clit giving it a suck before his tongue presses against it making you squirm. One of your hands cover your lips trying to contain your loud moans from bothering your neighbors, the other hand back on his head trying to keep him there.

"Both hands on me." He says in between licks, using the tip of his tongue to circle your clit.

You are so engrossed on the feeling of his warm tongue caressing your center that you don't realize Taehyung has turned the vibrator back on until he presses the toy against your swollen nerve. A shock of pleasure shots straight up your body making you tremble. Using his other hand to keep your tights apart Taehyung focus on teasing your entrance with his tongue.

It takes just seconds for your mind to get cloudy with the pleasure running through your body, your hands grabbing harder at his hair while you gasp. His tongue is working and taking all your arousal as it comes off of you while he edges you once again. Your hips lift up from the bed following his lips when he moves his had just a millimeter away from you. Your legs shake and your toes curls, vision going white when the tightness inside you snaps and the pleasure makes you orgasm. You feel your warm cum being lapped by Taehyung.

He only stops when he has licked you clean from all your cum and your over sensitiveness is so big that has you weakly pushing him away.

You are spent. breathing heavy and fast. You can feel your blood pulsing though your body specially around your pussy that still clenches involuntarily. Just Taehyung's breathing against it is enough to have you squirming. He smiles proudly and turns the toy off.

"Fuck! that was very very hot." He sits back on his knees. "I'm not upset about the toy anymore!" He declares with a smile as he crawls up to lay by your side.

"And you suck!" You say resting your head on his chest when he pulls you towards himself.

"It makes you come pretty fast." He points as if you didn't know.

"It does, but it's never as satisfying as having you fucking me." You pout taking advantage of your position to caress his hard on over his pants.

"Y/n!" he breaths.

"Let me take care of you now, let me give you a warm welcome back home baby." You kiss his jaw, with your hand not stopping to caress his hard on over his pants.

Taehyung's eyes flutter and he presses his hips up to your hand, he needs and wants you. You kiss him on the lips, tasting the remaining of your orgasm on it as your hands run up and down his length. You wonder how he is not complaining, he is rock hard under your hand.

Sitting up you undo his belt and pants quickly, pushing it down, he helps you by lifting his hips up. There is a wet spot on his briefs, probably pre-cum that leaked from being hard for so long. You press a kiss to the spot and Taehyung cries a moan, his hand resting on your neck. He is in an internal battle of wanting to push your head down or letting you do as you please. Pressing wet kisses over the covered length you tease him just enough to hear his breathing get caught up.

His fingers press against the back of your neck making you smile; he is very much in need. Taking the hint, you push his briefs down releasing his hard cock from its confinements. He stands proud, hard and thick in front of you, making you salivate.

Licking your lips, you wrap your hand around his base and pumps it just a couple of time before a drop of pre-cum leaks from the pink head.

You take it into your mouth, swirling your tongue over his head, you suck as your hands pump his length. Taehyung moans and his hand on the back of your neck makes pressure down. Obliging to his want you relax your throat and lowers your head letting his cock slide against your tongue until it reaches the back of your throat.

"Y/n!" Taehyung moans sightly bucking his hips and making you gag.

Slowly you retrieve your head letting him go of your lips with a pop. looking at your boyfriend his eyes are hooded, hair messy from your pulling moments ago and his once perfectly ironed shirt and sweater are crumpled and sightly raised showing his lower abdomen. pumping him, your hands grow in speed thank to the lubrification of your saliva. Taehyung bites his lower lip, and you feel a fresh wave of arousal pool at your center.

Lowering your head and taking him in between your lips your head follows your hands, taking his cock in to your throat when your hands go lower covering what you can't take and letting him go when your hands go up. You can feel the bitter taste of his pre-cum on your mouth when he pulls you off of him.

"No more!" He declares sitting up.

Taehyung kisses you shortly before he finishes taking his clothes off, kicking his pants and underwear to the floor, his sweater and shirt following quickly after. the moment is fast, and you have way too little of time to watch and appreciate your boyfriend's naked body since he crawls up over you, stopping throughout his way to leave random kisses over your skin.

One on a knee, another one on the left side of your hip bone followed by a smirk. One on your belly button, on the underside of your right boob. On your collar bones, up your throat until he reaches your lips. One hand caresses your cheek as his lips dance with yours on a kiss, sweet and full of need.

You can feel his tip caressing your slit up and down, spreading your arousal around before Taehyung guides it to your entrance. First the head, slowly pushing it in. Closing your eyes, you take a deep breath relaxing your body.

You are used to it, but it doesn’t mean that is easier just because. Months apart without sex always makes the first time after reuniting a bit painful, you are tighter, and Taehyung is not on the small or thinner side either, plus the fact he already made you reach an orgasm doesn’t really help.

He nuzzles your cheek peppering kisses over your neck and face as he pushes inside of you slowly. Your breath hitches a little when the pain comes. Your hands grabbing at his shoulders, your fingertips digging at his soft skin.

“Shh…” Taehyung smooths you caressing your hair and face. “Almost there baby! You are doing really good. Once you are full of me, I’ll make you feel so good that you’ll forget about it.”

Once he bottoms out, he sighs against your neck, lips quickly finding the skin of your shoulder to press lovingly kisses. His fingers find your nipples to what Taehyung is quick to pinch and roll in between his index and thumb.

Fresh warm arousal coaches his length inside you, and he groans. You can see by the way he flexed the muscles on his shoulders that he is trying to let you adjust before he moves.

Caressing his cheek you roll your hips tentatively, is not painful but it doesn’t spark the electric wave of pleasure yet.

“Baby,” you call him as you roll your hips again. “Tae, you can move.”

His eyes lock on yours for reassurance, nodding shortly you roll your hips again. Taehyung’s eyes are hooded with pleasure and his first thrusts are more hips bucks than actual thrusts. It’s clear on his face how he is trying to control his body, needs and desire when he retreats his hips from its nestling place in between yours only to push it forward again.

Taehyung moves slowly, building his pace as the movement grows easier, a signal of your body relaxing and adjusting to him. In the beginning he only retreats a little bit before he thrusts back in, as pleasure starts to curse through both of you his movement grow bigger thrusts faster and harder.

Your breathing is curt and caught up mixed with your moans, Taehyung’s groans and grunts are like music to your ears. Once again you are glad you are the only one who can hear it. Caressing his cheek, you guide his lips to yours in a messy kiss as you wrap your legs around his waist.

“Oh, baby! Fuck!” Taehyung curses as you clench on him. “So tight! I- I’m close”

You suck on his lower lip and caresses his damp hair away from his eyes as you move your hips in time with his making him hit that spot inside you that makes you see stars every time, he brushes it.

Taehyung’s groans grow louder as his thrusts become more erratic and you know he is stressing about chasing his pleasure and wanting to make you come together with you. You turn the vibrator on and places it against your clit.

The way his eyes open wild his lip’s part on a chocked-up moan and his shoulders flex as his body convulses, you know he feel the effects of it, the vibrator intensifies the pleasure your boyfriend is giving you, making your pussy clench harder as your body trembles making your second orgasm of the night rip through your body as if you had been strikes by a lighting.

Taehyung grips your hips with an iron hold as he buries himself inside trembling with pleasure as he releases rope after hope of cum, painting and filling you in. He pushes the toy from the bed before he lets his body fall by your side as he slides off of you.

There is a moment I which you both your lay in there catching your breath enjoying the aftereffects of the orgasm, his arm is wrapped around your waist as you caress it with your hand.

“Okay, maybe it isn’t that bad.” Tae breaks the silence.

“What isn’t that bad?” You question turning to face him.

“The pocket toy.” He kisses your nose. “It was surprisingly good.” He admits with a lazy smile.

“Hm” you Kiss his jaw with your hand playing with strands of his hair on his neck. “Did I mention it is water prof?”.

Ⓒ 2021 kpopwriter-sky, do not copy, translate or repost.

[sugarushsuga]

In Your Own Words - CH. 20

Genre/Au's: Rom-Com, fluff with bits of angst - Coworkers!AU; enemies to lovers; Journalist!AU

Paring: RM x Reader

Words count: 4.019

Rating: 18+

Warnings: Cursing; Gun; Robbery; Kidnapping; Police;

Tigering: Mentions of guns; Description of robbery; Descriptions of kidnapping; Stupid actions; People been held at gun point; Character expresses the intention to kill people. (Please never react to a robbery)

Synopsis: After graduating your dream was to become a journalist and work to one of the biggest magazines in the country. But that pretty dream does not translate perfectly to reality. The magazine is on verge of bankruptcy, great journalists are moving the rival magazines and not being replaced, your boss is a jerk who doesn't even know your name. Fate seems to be toying you around to its own pleasure, can you take control of your life and achieve your dreams, or you are going to be carried away by fate's plans?

Author note: This fanfic follows the world of the Brazilian production Procura-se um marido series. I do not own the series or original content.

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The guy in the cap in front of you look normal, but if you weren't so consumed by the latest discoveries, perhaps you'd left the store before the all the drama happen. Thinking about it now, there was something about him, an unease, a nervousness that clashed with a customer looking for a bottle of water or anything else. You don't notice that he kept his hand on his waist, under his shirt, until it was too late.

"Nobody moves. Give me the money!" He orders in a fierce tone suddenly to the pale boy at the cashier.

“Shit,” you hiss softly and freeze like a statue, even though the weapon isn't pointed at your face.

The store is silent, no one dares to move. The robber putts a backpack on the counter.

"Put it all in there and don't even think about making a joke. I kill you and everyone else before the alarm goes off."

As getting out of there doesn't seem like a good idea, you followed the robber's advice and stays very quiet. The cashier boy, scared, tries to open the cash register to empty it, but you suspect that first he will faint.

A movement in you peripheral vision makes you turn your head.

“Oh no!" You groan.

"Drop the gun!" shouts a police officer outside the store, already with a gun pointed at the robber.

In a quick movement, the boy pulls you by the arm, putting you in front of him and locking the gun to your temple. Your pulse race, making you dizzy. You look at the cop, begging silently for help. Another cop gets out of the car leaning against the gas pump and joins his partner, gun in hand.

"Let go of the girl," the older, taller, wider police officer warns.

"If anyone moves, I'll blow her head off!"

By this, you are already shaking. The robber put his arm around your waist, holding you tighter. The latte threatens to make the journey back out of you.

“No one needs to get hurt,” the police officer argues, but his voice sounds calmer. “All you need to do is let go of the girl and drop the gun."

The attacker groans, repositioning you so that you are reduced to a human shield.

“If anyone enters the store, the woman dies. If anyone moves, the woman dies."

You would have felt better if he had presented an option in which the woman -you- did not die in the end. But he's the one in control of the situation...

For the next three minutes, even the air seems still, waiting for the worse, and all that tension almost makes you throw up. Or faint. by the way, your stomach has been a little weird for the last few days. Maybe the whole situation with Namjoon has given you a nervous gastritis. What's not relevant now that you have a gun to your forehead and a man out of control with the finger on the trigger.

“Let the girl go, boy. You don't want to hurt anyone."

"And how am I going to get out of here?" he yells in your ear. "In a wagon straight to the jail or the morgue? Not even in dreams, buddy."

Eight police officers appear behind the first two. Everyone wears bulletproof vests and wielding guns, but pointing at the ground, the guy with a mustache seems to be the most patent, as he tries to approach. The robber shouts at him to be quiet, or the killing will begin. You think is in that moment you start to cry. The cop then began to argue, calling the boy to reason, but it's useless. He wants to run away, he is so scared as much as you or more, and he doesn't seem to trust what the police officer is saying.

“I want the press here,” he demands. "I won't leave before the TV guys appear."

Never in all your life have you wanted so much to be a librarian. Or mute.

“I'm a journalist,” You hear yourself saying between sobs.

"Are you?" He presses you even tighter against his thin body.

Well no. Not exactly, but almost one. And at the moment, the almost journalist could calm a madman with a gun until the police finds a solution.

You nod slowly in agreement.

“Then call your friends and tell them to come here. I want the TV. Many TV people."

"I worked... I work at a magazine."

"I told you I want the TV," he growls, pressing down on the barrel of the revolver in your head.

"All right. TV, got it."

You reach into your pants pocket for the phone, but he yelled at you.

“I need to pick up my phone to call,” You explain. He watches you closely, and very slowly you reach for the device. You sigh of relief to remain alive a few more moments. The boy too.

"Now call," he orders.

You want to call Namjoon, but you don't know if he will answer. You think about Jungkook, only he can be far away, and he doesn't even have that many contacts. Yoongi has. He knows everyone, work offers always fall into his lap.

"Hello."

"Yoongi, it's Y/n." Your voice comes out rough.

"Hey! I missed looking at you, doll. We were talking about you to the guys. I can't believe you were able to solve the..."

"Listen, Yoongi," You interrupt. "I'm at a gas station, inside the convenience store. It's on City Hall Street, a little further on. There is a group of armed police outside. I'm inside the store with five more hostages and there's a gun pointed at my head. He's demanding the press here to free us."

"The television!" shouts the robber. “Or I shoot everybody."

“He wants the TV here,” You repeat, swallowing hard.

"Y/n, wait a minute!" asks Yoongi, this time serious and anxious. "You are kidding, aren't you?"

“I'm not kidding. Please be quick..."

“Give it to me." The boy takes the phone from your hand. "Listen here, buddy, you better get going because I'm getting impatient. if it takes a long time to arrive, you may find your little friend cold as ice cream, with her brains scattered on the floor." He hangs up. "Now stay quiet and here by my side, baby, and let's wait for the TV people to arrive."

Your phone rings seconds later. Namjoon's name and photo flash across the screen. You don't get a chance to find out what he has to say, as the robber shoves your phone into his pants pocket, stealing in your face.

The next ten minutes felt like ages. It's with relief that you see a bald man, with a huge camera on his shoulder, make his way between the crowd of onlookers in the middle of the street. You don't know the cameraman, nor the reporter who goes with him, but you are grateful that Yoongi acted so quickly.

Moments later, Yoongi himself appears with Jungkook. The two throw you worried looks. Jungkook even more than that, looks panicked, and takes a moment to start doing his work, photographing the scene a few meters behind the line of police in front of the store.

More and more reporters, photographers and cameramen arrive, and one of them, with disheveled hair and horrible glasses, is trying to overcome the isolation barrier. You frown. Namjoon is pale as a sheet of paper, arguing with the police to enter the store. His eyes meet yours, and that makes him try even more to open space between the armed men. Funny, it even seems a man in love terrified of the possibility that the woman he loves is going to walk out of there with a bullet decorating her brain. But no, everything he wants is to get close to Yoongi and, after practically putting the credential in the police's nose, joins the reporter and the small battalion of journalists.

"Turn on the TV," the robber orders the cashier.

You are on almost every channel.

The mustache police officer continues to negotiate the robber's surrender, who sweats. That's the problem. He's too nervous. Uncontrolled people usually do things they later regret. Just look at what you have done with your life.

Wanting some comfort, you look for Namjoon and finds him talking to the police. Your eyes meet, and he gives you a discreet nod, as if to say, “It's okay, everything will turn out okay. Keep calm". One of the police officers next to him slips out of sight, while the other makes his way towards the guy with mustache.

Oh, let it be a plan! You pray.

The robber seems to notice the subtle change in the police confidence and turns around. His head slightly towards the man approaching the commander, so, afraid that he'd realize something is afoot and, you don't know, out of control and kill you, you open your mouth and let out the first thing that comes to your mind.

“You already have the press, the guarantee that no one is going to kill you. Why don't you just end it?"

"Are you in a hurry to die, baby? Because it looks like it to me." He presses the barrel against your skin.

“No, no, but think about it. The longer we stay here, more time for the police to come up with a plan to catch you, understand?" Fuck, shut up, Y/n!

He frowns, realizing the logic of the thing.

"The thing is to be quick," he nods, loosening his gun a little. "You're right."

“There are a lot of people in here,” you continue "I think you should free people. To make your escape easier. You don't think the police will let you go with six hostages, right? Nor would everyone fit in a car."

"A car. That, baby! A car!" He smiles, a little wildly, and shouts, "I want a full-fuel car here."

"I can't do this if you don't cooperate with me, son," the police officer warns, glaring at you, as if he'd overheard the conversation. And probably he had.

"The car! With a full tank!" he points out, pressing the gun into your forehead. "I'll see if I release anyone."

Okay, your plan isn't to give the robber ideas, but that's okay. At least he has agreed to release someone.

Six and a half minutes later, a black car with the doors open park in front of the store.

"Now do your part," ask the police officer.

The boy looks at the five people inside, deciding who will gain freedom. He chose the girl who had made you the latte. She gets to her feet, shaky but steady enough to stand in front of the robber and you, as he has ordered, and walks slowly to the exit. A police officer supports her as soon as she sets a foot outside the store.

"Excellent!" you say, more excited. “Now one more."

"So, without demanding anything in return?" he asks you, astonished.

You fight not to roll your eyes.

"What else do you want besides getting out of here in one piece?"

He thinks for a moment. "The money I came for. You.” He points his nose at the boy in the cashier. "Fill the backpack and don't try anything funny. Put some cigarettes too. And those truffles. Put them all."

The boy doesn’t try anything. You doubt you could do anything else as well as sob and shake. When he finishes filling the bag, the robber ask him to hand it to you, which you think is a bad sign, but you take it without argument. Then he orders the young man to leave the store, always walking in front you, blocking the police's sights, in case they decide to do something.

"Is this the first time you've tried to rob?" You ask.

"A shop, yes. Car is easier. No witnesses, no victims. just steal the cars on the street."

"Why did you decide to change?" You want to know, the journalist in you popping up in an unexpected way.

"Shut up."

"I'm just wondering if you have a family and what a fright they must have taken, watching you on TV robbing up a store and... taking hostages."

He's silent, pushing the gun against your head, and when you think, you are going to die, he relaxes a little but keeps you in his sight.

“I only have a sister,” he tells you. “She is sick, doesn’t work, and has a bunch of kids. The kids' father died a while ago."

"And you help her any way you can," You guess.

He nods.

"She must be very worried about you..." You keep saying, trying to distract him, as two more police officer exchange gestures, and one of them disappears shortly after.

“Seeing you on TV with all these people pointing guns at you and stuff. I also have a brother, you know?"

He doesn’t answer, just huffs into your neck and fixes his eyes on a camera. You cast a quick glance at Namjoon. He has his eyes fixed on you, panic still dominates his features. He's watching you so intently, as if he could get you out of there. You have the impression that he's asking you: “What the fuck do you think you are doing, my angel?”

"You, get out of here," the robber say to the short-haired woman, who has been crying silently since the beginning of the robbery, hiding behind a shelf.

Half an hour later, there's only two people in the store. You and the burglar.

“We're going out,” he yells, alerting the police. "No one will follow us, or I'll kill the woman on spot."

“Okay, just keep calm, son."

“Come on, baby. Be good and help me out of here."

He starts pushing you towards the store exit, his sweaty body stuck to yours. Then, in the midst of your fear, you realize something that at first seems insignificant, but it changes everything. The barrel of the gun is not cold. It's almost warm.

“Oh, you son of a bitch!" You turn so quickly that the boy, taken by surprise, doesn't have time to react.

You attack him with the backpack full of money, cigarettes and truffles.

"No!" You hear a chorus behind you.

Namjoon's voice is the loudest.

You jump on the robber, who, without waiting for you attack, loses his balance and fall with you. He tries to point the gun at your face, but you hit his nose and punch his head in rage while yelling, furious: "You jerk! I will finish you!"

Someone takes you off him and you kick some more, disgusted. A police officer throws himself on the robber, another is trying to snatch the gun from his hand.

“I almost pissed my pants in fear, and you had a fake gun all the time? You stole my phone, you... Let me go!" You complain, wanting to join the other men and finish him off.

A deafening noise sounds inside the store, part of the plaster comes off the roof. You look at the hole above, not understanding. You stop kicking, and that's it. You understand that the weapon is... it's... It's real!

Fear and shock leave you numb. Who, who, in sane conscience, go up against someone with a gun?

You are dragged out of the store by one of the police officers. Everything gets confused. You hear screams, shiny handcuffs gleam under the camera flashes, but you can't understand anything.

Someone pulls you back, away from the commotion. You come to think that it's a police officer, but no. Crazy brown eyes stare at you from behind horrible glasses.

"Wh-what the-shit y-were you thinking?" "He grabs your shoulders and shakes you. Your teeth chatter. "Wh-what were you w-t-trying to do?"

"I thought the gun was fake."

Namjoon buries his fingers in your flesh, close his eyes, groaning, and pulls you to the safety of his chest, squeezing you so hard that you think he breaks your rib. Which you think is wonderful. You don't even need of all these ribs, after all.

"N-never seen so much stupidity and c-c-courage together," he stammers in your hair. You find that strange. You have never heard Namjoon hesitate, let alone stumble over words like that. What was wrong? "Y-you should b-be forbidden t-t-to go out on the street without h-h-having someone by your side to-to stop you o-of d-doing stupidities."

Funny, your grandmother had said almost the same thing.

"I am really sorry. I thought that..."

“N-n-no, no need to explain. B-be quiet. Just let me hold you, my angel. Just... s-stay here."

When they invite you to enter paradise, it's crazy to refuse, so you hug him. The tremor you feel in your chest begin to spread through your anesthetized limbs and your knees give way. Namjoon supports you before you collapse, murmuring affectionate words.

It's the best day of your life...

Until someone pulls you from that heaven on earth, sending you to hell again.

"I will kill you!" Hoseok says through gritted teeth, bumping the wheels of his wheelchair on your leg and pulling you down so your face is in the same height of his. He's furious. "I'm going to kill you, then I'm going to ground you for the rest of your life! I almost had a heart attack when you jumped in that guy. Holy shit Y/n, I thought you were going to die!"

He pulls you so hard, you almost fall into his lap. Hobi suffocates you with a hug like when you were kids, and he took care of you. You turn to reset your head on your brother's shoulder and finds Namjoon's gaze fixed on you. He's a few steps away, his arms at his sides, his gaze still tense.

"You almost got shot!" Hoseok mutters in a choked voice. "You could have died, Y/n! Hell, you could have died!"

"I'm so sorry."

You hug your brother, rubbing his back and trying to make him stop crying. You haven't seen your brother cry since dad went to live in Argentina and left you with grandma. Hoseok hated the place.

Someone pulls you back.

"I thought I was going to have to photograph your brain, you... you crazy..." Jungkook starts to say but doesn't finish. Instead, he kisses your forehead and presses against his. "Irresponsible!"

OK, you already understood. Everyone is mad at you. Even you are.

The exact second you understood the gun was real, everything changed. it was there that you realized how fragile life is, that one second can change everything. There are so many things you still want to do, say. Starting with your grandmother and the culture that you have denied all your life. And ending with Namjoon, to whom all your thoughts belong to. That's how you know he's your guy.

That moment when you realize you could have died with a bullet in the middle of your forehead, all you wished was that he was far enough away not to watch the scene.

Jungkook is pulled away by one of the police officers trying to keep the press away of you. More than stunned, you turn to Hoseok, who's sending killer glare at Jungkook.

You look for Namjoon, wanting to return to the warmth of his arms, but he's no longer there. Stretching out, you search the crowd but can't see him nowhere. Before you can find him, you are taken to the police station to provide a testimony and give details of everything. It isn't pleasant. Especially because Hobi is not allowed to go in with you, and the sheriff keeps asking you why what the hell you had given the robber ideas. When it's all over and the sheriff is convinced that you are no expert in robbery, you find your brother outside in the hallway, your sister-in-law is standing behind the wheelchair with him. Yoongi is with them, to your surprise.

"Finished?" Hobi wants to know, turning the wheels of the chair to approach.

"For today, yes. They can call me if you still need me, but I'm released."

"Excellent!"

You turn to Yoongi.

“Thank you so much for acting so quickly."

"You don't have to thank me. My heart was in my hand to see you there, it was the worst news I have ever covered."

"Thanks." You smile lightly. Looking around, you force yourself to ask, "Are you alone?"

Yoongi checks the time. Your brother shrugs. Lorraine nods. Namjoon didn't come after you. And why would he? He's a committed man, as he had made clear at the dinner last night. Furthermore, it would be too easy to believe that, that hug was more than it really was an act of solidarity. Namjoon is one of the most compassionate people you know and will never deny comfort to someone —or an animal, whatever. That gesture was nothing more than a way to calm someone who was going through a bad time, someone who was part of his life for a short while. It wouldn't be Namjoon if he acted in a different way.

"Can I ask for an exclusive?" Yoongi tries, raising his eyebrows in that seductive way.

You reach for the badge on his chest and turn it over. You frown upon seeing the known Just Facts logo.

“I thought you went to TopNews."

“No way, doll. There is no money in this world that makes me switch to the dark side of the force. So, can we book the exclusive?"

"I don't know if it's a good idea... after everything that happened..."

Namjoon, you want to add, but in not necessary. Yoongi understands.

"Everything that...?" Hoseok demands, craning his neck.

"Yes, it is, and you know it," counters Yoongi. "He would never interfere in my article."

"He who?" your brother grumbles.

"Besides," Yoongi continues, "I received nine calls from magazines and newspapers asking me for your phone number. Nobody believes that a courageous journalist like you, with a natural gift for tricking people, is unemployed. Maybe I can give them your contact..." He crosses his arms, smiling cynically.

"Are you serious?" You blink. "Does anyone want me?"

Yoongi rolls his eyes.

"At the risk of losing my job, I rather not to answer this question."

You stare at him without understanding, and he smiles before asking: "So, do we have a deal? An exclusive in exchange for a dozen job offers?"

You don't need to think to answer.

"Deal."

"I'm going to talk to Jungkook so we can take some pictures. Tomorrow at the newsroom of the magazine, maybe?"

"Ah... I'd rather it be somewhere else, if you don't mind." You mutter, lowering your eyes. Going in there again would be even worse than being held at gunpoint. Even more if Alexia decides to show up. "Any other place will do."

"How about the restaurant across from the magazine, then?"  You agree, and he gives you a long hug. “Glad you got out of this in one piece, doll." then he kisses you on the cheek.

"Why does everyone keeps kissing you?" Hoseok huffs while Yoongi leaves the police station.

"Oh, Hobi, for God's sake!" Lorena moans. "Leave your sister alone. We can go? Y/n must be exhausted."

“Gee, you have no idea,” you tell her.

"Let's go," agrees Hoseok. "But why isn't Namjoon here now?" He looks disappointed.

You swallow hard. “He got back with his ex-girlfriend."

Your brother frowns. "I can fix him if you want. Don't think that a leg and a few broken ribs will stop me."

"Don't do anything to him, Hobi. I don't want you to fix him, or the bike or anything else related to Namjoon, am I being clear?"

“You always screw up,” he grumbles, taking your hand and pressing your fingers against his hot cheek."

Thinking about what Grandma had said a long time ago, you reply, laughing: "You're absolutely right."

Only this time you had crossed all the limits.

We are coming to an end.

Ⓒ 2022 Sugarushsuga, do not copy, translate or repost.

[sugarushsuga]

In Your Own Words - CH. 13

Genre/Au's: Rom-Com, fluff with bits of angst - Coworkers!AU; enemies to lovers; Journalist!AU

Paring: RM x Reader

Words count: 6.588

Rating: 18+

Warnings: Cursing; Mentions of pregnancy;

Synopsis: After graduating your dream was to become a journalist and work to one of the biggest magazines in the country. But that pretty dream does not translate perfectly to reality. The magazine is on verge of bankruptcy, great journalists are moving the rival magazines and not being replaced, your boss is a jerk who doesn't even know your name. Fate seems to be toying you around to its own pleasure, can you take control of your life and achieve your dreams, or you are going to be carried away by fate's plans?

Author note: This fanfic follows the world of the Brazilian production Procura-se um marido series. I do not own the series or original content.

@hannahbee12719 always making the best banners for me❤️

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It's okay, calm down. Everything will be fine. It's going to be okay! You repeat non-stop that Monday, while You are untangling your hair, getting ready to go to work. You made the right decision. You mean, break up with Namjoon before the situation got even worse, you mean. End whatever it was that was going on between you before you got even more involved and ended this story in a pile of shards instead of a heart in your chest.

You know that, technically speaking, he was the one who put a full stop, but this detail is irrelevant.

Namjoon disappeared from the wedding after the argument. As far as you know, he hitchhiked back with Hoseok, which only proved your theory that something was wrong, very wrong in the world. Sabrina and you stayed for the lunch wedding on Sunday even though You were too moody and depressed to have fun. Delilah tried to talk to you a few times, but you dodged, that beautiful reminder of long legs how the devil flees the cross. No, you didn’t want to talk to her. You wanted to talk to your grandmother, but she was too busy—or too furious that you broke the cup—to give you attention.

You couldn't tell Sabrina anything because you knew what she would say: you ruined everything! Just like grandma said you would.

Shit! sometimes Grandma Cecilia scares you with her prophecies. So, there you are, getting ready for the moment you dread so much. Finding your ex-lover in the terrifying boss form.

You arrive a little late, but you notice the tense atmosphere as soon as you set a foot in the newsroom.

“What happened? Any new tragedy?” You ask Natacha.

She looks up from the computer screen. “Before it was! Is Namjoon…" She hesitates for a moment, looking for the right word, but ended up shaking her pink hair. “I don’t know what he is. It's not even nine in the morning, and he already yelled at the top of his lungs, yelled into the phone, kicked over a chair and told Yoongi to shut up twice.”

"Hmm... he looks depressed," You cheer. Not that You want to see him suffering or anything like that.

Cracks of shards came from the head-editor's office. Through the window that separate his space from the rest of the mortals, you see Namjoon gesturing, and he looks like yelling at someone on the phone.

"I think it's more like the son of the devil," counters Natacha.

“The agenda meeting is going to be great,” Ella grumbles as she passes.

You go to your desk, occasionally glancing at your boss, who is still arguing on the phone. You slung your bag over the back of your chair, smooth out your pencil skirt before sitting down and crossing your legs under the table. While waiting for the computer to come to life, you discreetly watch his office out of the corner of your eye. Namjoon has turned off the phone and stares at something on the back wall, hands on his narrow hips. He leans his head back, aiming at the ceiling, then rubs his hand over his face, as if trying to get rid of something that torments him. Then he turns around and his gaze meets yours. You shiver at the coldness in him. He looks away and gather some papers, heading for the meeting room.

You quickly divert your attention, trying to look busy and praying that he won’t come talk to you—although a little bit of anticipation burns in your heart.

Namjoon heads straight for the meeting room, through the door almost with a bang, and disappears inside. You looked at the clock. There are still fifteen minutes before the meeting starts.

Ella gives you a questioning look, Yoongi is looking at Julia without understandment, Natacha looks around the room with wide eyes. Irene and Youngjae abandon the new toys sent by a sex shop. Where it is Hani?

"What do we do now?" Natasha whispers to you.

"I think..."

The meeting room door swings open. Namjoon shoots the team with the look. "Is it too much to ask for my incompetent journalists to show up to the fucking meeting?"

"... we should go there. Like, right now" — You end up pouting.

In exactly twenty-three seconds, all the reporters are seated around the long table. Namjoon is at the head, standing.

"I hope you understand that I'm the boss of this shit, not the owner of it." he starts.

Everyone nods, afraid to open their mouths. Even Yoongi looks apprehensive.

"Veiga just called," he goes on. “For the second time today. The article about the diversion of money from the public coffers to the senator's account was vetoed."

"What?!" Yoongi spreads his hands on the table.

"It seems that Veiga and our corrupt senator are close" — Namjoon explains, turning over some papers in front of him. "He doesn't want anything related to the case to appear in the magazine."

"It's an absurd! This is hiding the facts from the people. It's censorship!

"And what do you think I was doing until now, yelling into the phone, Yoongi?" Namjoon spits through his teeth. "Veiga doesn't want to know. The magazine is his. Nothing about the case will appear on our pages. But look from the positive side. He wants the magazine full of trivia. Even suggested an article about traffic,” he finishes, smiling wryly.

"He must be crazy!" Yoongi mutter, flushed with anger.

"Yes. But it's the madman who pays your salary, so unless you want to put your notice, as Hani did, do as he order."

"Did Hani quit?" Irene asks, dumbfounded.

"She got an offer from her competitor," Namjoon explains impatiently.

"Oh no! Did she go to TopNews too?" Ella wants to know.

Namjoon just nods.

You're not sure why that bothers you so much. You liked Hani, she is fun and would definitely be missed, but that isn't what pesters. Suddenly TopNews seems almost a physical presence in Just-Facts, like an executioner ready to do its duty.

"Holy shit!" Yoongi lets go, dropping into his chair. "Everyone is going to disband for that shit magazine?"

"Is it?" Namjoon questions, placing his hands on the table and staring fixedly to his most renowned journalist.

"No, and you know it," Yoongi answers firmly. "But you can't be serious about vetoing the article. You know it's good, I have evidence, one exclusive with the senator. I bet Veiga has his ass stuck."

"It's no use, Yoongi. I tried, believe me. Just prepare an article about anything else. Now the next subject." He turns his head until he finds you. There is nothing but professionalism there. "Y/n, do you think you're fit to take on a column?"

You blink. About five times.

"What's it?"

He huffs, avoiding your gaping gaze. "Do you think you're ready to take on a column?"

"Y-yes." - Oh my God! Is this really happening?

"Excellent. I want you to take over Hani's column."

You stop breathing.

"Hani's?" You ask too loudly. “Like… writing about sex?"

"Some problem?"

Oh, none. As long as Hoseok, Uncle Vlad and Grandma Cecilia didn't read the column. Maybe if you use another alias...

“The Zodiac continues to get rave reviews,” he continues. —"You'll have to stick with both tasks for a while, until I find a substitutes for both."

That's when you understand where he is going.

"And once you find it, you'll fire me," You manage to say without screaming.

"You'll know if I ever intend to fire you, you can be sure of that,” he snaps, avoiding eye contact. "I'm planning to open a new space, something current that talks about nothing, about everything, anything of interest of young people. From the emails I've been reading, I think you have a direct channel with them. When I find an astrologer and someone with at least the basic knowledge of sexual behavior, we will discuss the matter again."

You blush for a number of reasons, but mostly because Namjoon has hinted you don't know anything about the topic. Yoongi doesn't even have the decency of trying to stifle his laughter, as Ella and Irene did. Namjoon pulls out one of his sheets and huffs angrily.

“Ella, please, what were you thinking when you wrote about Angela Kim's mustache?"

"Hey, she has a mustache!" Ella replies, balancing the pen on her finger’s lips drawn in line.

"And six lawyers too," Namjoon continues. "Congratulations, you got another case."

"But she has a mustache! Just because she's rich, I must pretend I don't see that caterpillar. Do me a favor..."

“You already know the procedure. Our lawyers will guide you, from that you don't throw shit on the fan anymore. Julia, stop crying or get out of the room, for God's sake! It's getting on my nerves."

Julia sobs loudly, covering her mouth with her hands and tries to compose herself. At the end of the meeting, people elbow their way out of the room before Namjoon remembers something else and decides to give more scolding. Staying at the end of the line, looking at the man making notes in the margins of a document, oblivious to everything around.

Ella is the last to pass, and you already have your hand on the doorknob to close the door after leaving, but you can't move on. Not before asking:

“Why are you doing this?

“Be more specific, Y/n. I don't have time for guess games" — he grunts, not bothering to lift his head.

"I'm talking about the column. Why did you decide to hit me right now?"

He doesn't take his eyes off the paper to answer. "It makes a difference?"

"For me it does. It seems very strange that just now you are willing to give me what I always wanted. Are you trying...”? You don’t have the courage to continue.

"Trying what, Y/n?" He lifts his head and looks at you with contempt. "Oh! Do you think I'm trying to pamper you for some reason? I don't want anything from you. You clarified your point on Saturday, and I finally understood. I'm giving you the opportunity to take over Hani's column because I thought that text of yours was good enough. And, as you can imagine, we don't have cash for immediate hires."

"Only that?"

His eyes narrow behind his glasses. "You are funny. When we were involved, you didn't want to talk with me about work, because you were afraid of taking advantage of being my lover. Now that all that hell is over, you complain that you don't need to worry about that detail. Do you know what you want, Y/n?"

The sadness you feel at the resentful tone in his voice eclipses your pride. “I was hoping that we could live together in peace, continue to be friends,” you mutter.

“You don't want me as a friend. Neither as a lover, boyfriend, neighbor, or anything that puts you within five meters of me." — he remembers, without even blinking. "Close the door behind you."

You throat feels tight, as if a block clogged the air passage. You don't want things to end this way. However, you can't close your eyes. You can't pretend you didn't hear him say to Delilah, he didn't want you. What is happening now, that devastation inside you, as if all your pillars are crumbling, is proof that if you had let your relationship go deeper, the end of it would have killed you.

It was the right thing to do, but doing the right thing isn't always painless. On the contrary, hurts, bleeds, burns.

You miss him. Not the man who had just spoken to you in that room, but the fun, caring guy you had grown to like and to admire. The world won't end because he is walking out of your life, but it will become cold and empty.

Your eyes start to itch, you hurry out of the meeting room, heading straight to the bathroom. You go into a stall and sit on the toilet seat, hugging yourself and sobbing loudly, trying to ease that burning in your chest, but to no avail.

You reach for the metal paper bin to get a piece of toilet paper to blow your nose, but it’s empty. "Damn it!" you cry even louder.

A thin, delicate hand appears from under the cabin partition. "Don't cry, Y/n."

"Oh, Julia." You take the roll of paper she offers you and hug it, as if that would make you feel better.

“He's been treating everyone badly today. Must have had an awful weekend.” she assures you.

Then the next door opens and seconds later you hear a knock at the door of the booth you are in. You release the latch, still sitting on the toilet.

"You look… awful," she notes as she opens the cabin door.

You shrug.

“I've discovered that I'm not lucky with men. I decided to become a lesbian."

She laughs lightly, leaning back against the partition. “Namjoon must mean a lot to you. Did he... go back to Alexia?"

You shake your head as you blow your nose. “He got involved with a cousin of mine. You believe? The guy goes with me to a party and melts into smiles for another woman! But that wasn't the worst. I heard Namjoon say he doesn't want me. Not that it was a surprise, I already kind of knew, it's just that... deep down, I was hoping that... you know." — you lift your shoulders, desolate. "I'm an idiot, aren't I? Only myself to fall in love with someone I know will come to nothing."

“You need to cool off,” Julia says, dampening a paper towel on the sink. "Get royally drunk, lick your wounds, and move on."

“What bad advice."

"I thought so too." She approaches and carefully pass the moist paper under your eyes, probably smudged with mascara. "But it was you who

told me that, remember? And, amazingly enough, it worked. I am fine, much better now. You will stay too."

You suddenly feel like you were going back in time. As if the months didn't have passed, everyone saying you would be fine, right after you caught Jimin between the neighbor's breasts. And, amazingly, people were right. You were fine. Not right away, but after a while. After Namjoon

invaded your life. And now he is leaving, and you would have to start it all again. Only this time alone.

Completely alone.

"You didn't look good in the meeting room" you tell Julia. "The Hani's exit shook you up a lot."

“I wasn't prepared to lose another friend. she didn't tell me anything. I was taken by surprise."

"Me too."

Deciding to forget about Namjoon, you get up with Julia's help and, after redoing your makeup, you dive into work and spend the rest of the day keeping busy. Which isn't so difficult, since Liz has received over two thousand messages, and you need to think about the article about

sex. But you can’t concentrate. You scrolled through the mailing list without actually seeing nothing for like five minutes. A little pink square on the left side of the screen warns you that you have to cover the car repair check that day.

Yeah, as if money popped into your account like that, out of nowhere...

You watch the calendar more closely. Two lines up, the number five is highlighted. Oh, crap! What did you miss?

You click on the number and look at the caption.

"Oh. My. God."

You do and redo the math at a frantic pace. For eight times! You are on the 17th, that is, twelve days away from the 5th.

Twelve days.

Two whole weeks.

"No!"

The days drag on. The hours do not pass. You don't want to live anymore. You suspect that your co-workers think you are with intestinal disarray. That alone would explain the thousands of times you run to the toilet for the past three days, hoping to find something that didn't have slightest sign that it would appear.

You are late. Fifteen days. The rectangular box with the pregnancy test is still intact inside your bag. You can't even look at it! You didn't tell Sabrina about the delay, as she didn't sleep at home for the last two nights. You also can't talk about it with anyone at work for several reasons. And you can't bring yourself to go into the bathroom and put an end to that uncertainty of fearing the result.

Namjoon remains in his furious state, yelling and lashing out his frustrations in anyone who looks at him. At that Thursday meeting, he looks even more disgusted than on Monday—especially after that you told him that you haven't done the zodiac or came up with anything for Hani's ex-column, but luckily the redhead had left two articles to cover her abrupt departure —and talking to him about what is troubling you seems like such a good idea just as committing suicide.

But it is your only alternative. Besides, if you really are... Oh my God, you can't even think about it... But if you were, he'd is also responsible. It isn't fair to have to deal with everything alone. He has the right to know and to decide whether or not to be part of the life of the...

Images of a chubby little baby plays in your mind: fair skin with fine brown tufts on her perfect head, large, round, eyes like yours, the half-debauched smile — still toothless — just like her father's, the plump little fingers...

You shake your head, determined to put an end to this situation. Regardless of the outcome, you are adults to bear the consequences. At least you hope you are.

You discreetly watched you colleagues. Everyone looks busy. You launch a look at Namjoon's room. He is engrossed in something on the screen of the computer. Keeping your eyes on him, you get up and grab some old papers from your table and head to his room. You stop in front of the door, steeling yourself. Your hands are shaking slightly, and you have no idea how you are going to get into it.

You hit.

Namjoon looks up from the monitor and, after a moment's hesitation, orders you in. You close the door carefully as you walk through it, hugging the papers you have in your hands, as if they could protect you from the icy gaze of the man behind the desk.

"Is that the Zodiac?" he asks sharply, indicating the papers on your arms.

“No.” It is irrelevant to tell him I haven't even started. How could you? You head was turned to your uterus and what could be inside. “I need to talk to you, Namjoon."

He looks at you, an eyebrow raised. "That I had already deduced."

You look back at the closed door, wondering if you haven't made a mistake and what were the chances of slipping out of there without him noticing. The odds aren't very good. So, you approach the table and settled into the chair in front of him. The brown eyes are glued to you, curious and impatiently, his fingers drum on the table.

"And then...?" he urges.

"I don't know how to start…" You declare, staring at your knees.

“You had no difficulty in verbalizing what was going on in your head last Saturday. Nothing you say will surprise me."

"Then well, I'm late,” you blurt out, your voice cracking.

He just smiles, ironic. Nothing worried. “I was at the meeting, Y/n. I already told you I want the zodiac by six. So, I think you better get back to your desk and get started."

"No." You shake your head apprehensively. "I'm not talking about the column, although it is also late. I mean I'm late, Namjoon. My... period."

"Aaaah." And then his eyes lose focus.

It seems you are still able to surprise him, after all.

You wait restlessly for an answer, whatever it is, but it doesn't come. He just looks at you as if he doesn't see you. You realize that you are holding your breath in anticipation and let it out forcefully. It brings him back from wherever he was.

"How much time?" He wants to know.

"Fifteen days."

"That much?"

You nod.

"Have you taken a test yet?" he asks, in an almost complacent voice.

You shake your head.

"And why not, Y/n?" And there goes the complacency.

“Because I was scared."

He takes a deep breath, the features of his face softening slightly. “Don't worry,” he says in a gentle voice. The one he used with you when you were out of the magazine. The one you haven't heard in the last week and which you have missed so much. “You're not alone in this."

You stare at him, dumbfounded. You knew he is a guy of principles and such, but you are no longer together — even though you have never been in fact—and he knows you had made plans with Jungkook in the past, so you were already more than ready to respond, with the greatest outrage, that yes, he is the father—that is, in case you are really pregnant.

"What's it?" Namjoon asks, scrutinizing your face carefully.

"You... aren't you going to make a scene and rant that you have nothing to do with that, that the father can be anyone and I should be damned?"

"No," he replies simply, folding his hands on the table.

"Why not?"

“Because if you're really pregnant, that child is mine."

"How can you be so sure?" — Oh, shut up! Which side are you on?

He fights a smile but ends up losing the battle. “Because I know you, Y/n. Because despite all the madness that happened between us, I know I was the only man who came to your bed in the last months."

“I thought you were going to yell at me when I told you,” You confess, running your fingers along the edges of the pages in your lap.

"You didn't think so, or you wouldn't be here now. How about I buy one those drug tests and put an end to the suspense once and for all?"

You curl up in the seat. “I have one in my bag. I've been walking it up and down since I realized the delay."

"Well... what are you waiting for?"

"But what if it's positive, Namjoon? What if I'm... pregnant?"

He stares at you for a long moment, and you try to guess the direction of his thoughts, but his face remains impassive, giving nothing back.

"Then you and I are going to sit down and talk," he clarifies under his breath.

"And then you're going to yell at me?" You want to know, hopefully.

He pursues his lips, holding back a stubborn smile. "Why do you want me to yell at you?"

"I don't know. I think because I saw how Hoseok reacted when he found out about Lorena's pregnancy"

“I would never yell at you for that. I already told you, you didn't do anything alone. I'm as responsible as you are. This is" — he pushes his glasses up using the indicator — "if there is anything to be held responsible for. And we will only know the answer if you take the test."

It's cool. You can do that. Just go into the bathroom and that's it. You don't even have to look at the result. Namjoon can do that for you. You get up hurriedly and is surprised when he does the same.

"I'll walk you to the bathroom," he warns.

“Oh, I don't think so. People will be surprised."

He frowns. "You're right." He looks at his watch. “Get your things. Go home. It's almost the end of the day anyway."

"Uh... not to be boring, but that will also make people wonder."

Then Namjoon says the only thing that would make you agree to leave early and with him, leaving a trail of gossip that only God would know what consequences would bring.

“We'll do this together, Y/n. I don't care what others think. You are all that matters to me now."

You nod and let him approach, opening the door and stepping to the side, giving you passage. You stop at your desk just to turn off the computer and get the bag. As you had predicted, all eyes are on you, even more so after Namjoon takes you by the elbow with touching gentleness and leads to the elevator. It is a relief when you enter the metal box and the doors slam shut, exiling you from the band of onlookers who, you are sure, will call the bets.

You are shaking from head to toe, absurdly tense at the prospect of the result to be positive. What are you going to do? How will you face a pregnancy alone? How can you have a child with a man who doesn't want you? You don't even have a career, damn it!

Namjoon heads towards your car.

"Keep calm." He strokes your arm gently, as if he wants to warm you up with it.

“It's easy to say. It's not you who's going to throw up for nine months and then have a baby ripping your body to get out."

You get in the car and unlock the passenger door. He sits next to you, slamming the door hard. You start up and start to maneuver.

"You're right," he agrees. "But I'll be by your side to hold your hair when you're throwing up, and when it's time to give birth, I'll force the doctor to fill you up on pain drugs. Then I'll hold your hand until you wake up."

You are already on the busy avenue. You want him to continue talking. Its sooths you.

"And how are you going to make the doctor dope me?" — you want to know.

“I'll threaten to put an embarrassing picture of him in the magazine, of course."

You end up laughing.

"And how are you going to get that picture?"

“Breaking into his house in the middle of the night while he's on call. I'm going to take advantage and hijack his diploma. In case he doesn't give in to the blackmail with just the photo."

"It's a good plan, but after that you'd be arrested, and the baby and I would have to bring you cigarettes on Sundays."

“That I would trade for prison security, to keep my masculinity intact. You know how it is. I'm a very attractive man,” he jokes.

Oh, you know that very well.

“Three years later,” You say, “you would get out of jail for good behavior and would be unemployed. Baby and I would have to sell candy at the light sign."

“And no serious media outlet would give me a job, which would force me to accept the offer of some unreliable rag."

“But since you made a lot of contacts while you were in jail, you would investigate an old unsolved case and find out the whole truth."

"What kind of case?" he wants to know.

“Hmm… a crime involving a famous football player of fifty's...?"

"Nice!" His eyes gleam. "And I'd get good money for it, because it would sell it to all the media and recover my good name. But I would not accept any of the millionaire job proposals, because after being in prison, I would want to see the world. So, I would take you and the baby and take you to live with me in Indianapolis. Where a scout would see me riding through the city streets in my Ducati and invite me to be a MotoGP rider. But I wouldn't win a single race."

“I'm not so sure about that. You drive like crazy. I think you would be a good pilot, but I wouldn't like it very much. I would be worried if you got hurt."

"Would you?" He asks, looking surprised.

“Of course, Namjoon! Do you think I wouldn't get mess up every time you climb on one of those things that fly at two hundred miles an hour, protected only by a helmet? I am already distressed here where, thank God, there are traffic laws to stop you from going over 120 an hour."

"Are you distressed? Because?"

Because that's what a woman in love does, you want to add. You blush when you feel his eyes on you, waiting for the answer.

“Because… I… It doesn't matter, Namjoon." You shake your head.

The silence that follows is harrowing. You try to pay attention to the traffic and not further worsen the situation by crashing the car. Twenty minutes later you park in front of the building. You turn the key and pulls the handbrake, but you don't move an inch more. Your life could be about to change, how can you get out of the car and face what is to come? having a baby is part of your dreams, but at a more opportune time. When you are financial stable, with a job you are proud of and a man who knead, for example.

“Let's go upstairs and get this over with, Y/n. You look about to fall apart, and I'm not the right guy to pick up your wreckage."

Only at that moment the coldness of the last few days become perceptible in his tone of voice. And it is a shame because you were missing him to death.

Namjoon. Oh my God, you separated the two. Bad Namjoon and Good Namjoon. How the Doctor and the Monster. Or Clark Kent and Superman. Although the last ones are pretty cool... and very cute. Just like Namjoon.

You follow him out of the car, always keeping one step behind, until you arrive at Bea's apartment. Yeotan greet you, and you take all the time in the world to play with him.

"Come on, Y/n, don't be a coward," he teases, nodding his head to the bathroom at the end of the hall.

“I'm scared,” You whisper.

He seems to understand the torment inside of you, his face darkens but his voice is sweet by saying: "Want me to come in with you?"

“Oh my God, Namjoon. Of course not!" But that is all that you needed.

"I'll stay at the door then, ready to greet you when you leave."

"No. I can't do that," You object, embarrassed. "You wait for me here in the room. I'll be back when everything's ready."

The exam box feels like a tambourine in your shaking hands as you make your way to the bathroom. Two minutes later, you return to the living room, where Namjoon is waiting for you on his feet, trying to look calm and collected, but that little V between his brows he gives it away.

"What's up?"

"You have to wait three minutes. I can't look." You hand him the baton.

He takes it, calmly. You back away, standing in front of the window, next to the still messed up by the plastic parts, dining table counting the seconds. When you reach one hundred eighty, you force yourself to face your future, literally in Namjoon's hands.

"Positive or negative?"

He is studying the white stick from different angles, then scratches his head, He adjusts his glasses with his index finger and frowns. "Hmm... I'm not sure. How do I know if it's positive?"

“One line and I'm screwed,” you explain. “Two, we're free."

"Right. And a line and a half?" He raises his confused eyes to find yours.

"How so?"

“There's a line and a half here."

You hurry across the room, picking up the baton, and studies it. "Shit! Didn't work."

"Are you sure you did it right?"

You narrow your eyes. “Peeing on a fucking stick is no secret, Namjoon."

He shrugs. "It must be defective. I'm going to buy another."

You drop on the couch and buries your head in your hands. "I can't believe that when I finally got up the courage, this crap decided to fail."

"It happens. Wait here. I'll go to the pharmacy and be right back."

He is already leaving when you call him back.

“Namjoon…” He turns, eyes bright, anxious. It looks like he is hoping for something, but you have no idea what it could be. "Thanks."

The glow fades a little. “The responsibility is also mine. You didn't do anything alone. I am not going leave you alone at a time like this."

In that instant, you feel proud to have slept with Namjoon.

All seven times.

Namjoon walks into the house with the bag on his wrist and, without saying anything, hands you the test.

"Ah, well... it's just that I don't feel like peeing right now."

"Y/n!" he scolds, frowning.

"What can I do? I just did it now. Nature needs to act huh?"

“Let's give nature a hand."

And with that, he makes you drink two big glasses of water and a can of soda. About half an hour later, you go to the bathroom again, but this time he follows.

“I can't with you here." You stand still, hips resting on the sink, arms crossed, looking at the huge man inside the cramped bathroom.

"It's ridiculous for you to have a fit of embarrassment over a pee, considering everything we've done in bed."

Your face heats up until you can feel all the veins pulsing under your skin.

“I'm not going to pee with you looking at me and that's it."

“I'll never understand you…” He shakes his head, but leaves. "I will stay out here. Do everything right this time."

"I did everything right the first time!" But just in case, you read the instructions that came with the test.

This time, when you open the bathroom door, Namjoon is waiting for you there and he just stretches out his hand, aware that you won't be able to look at the stick that can change your whole life in three measly minutes.

Too impatiently, you go to Bea's tidy kitchen, opening the cupboards looking for something to eat, and you end up getting a tin of biscuits. Namjoon follows you, standing there leaning against the doorway, arms crossed, watching you swallow one cookie after another.

"I eat when I'm nervous," You explain with your mouth full, and he chuckles softly.

"You can relax. Two lines,” he mutters a minute later.

"Oh my God. I'm not pregnant!" You sink into the cream chair, dizzy with relief, and let your head drop to the massive table. A hint of disappointment lurks in your heart as the image of the perfect baby starts fade from your mind until it disappears for complete.

“This deserves a celebration,” you say, straightening up, but your voice sounds a little... despondent.

“Of course, of course. Let's celebrate." Namjoon is still staring at the stick and doesn't look relieved. He looks…disappointed too. But he quickly composes himself and smiles, only it is a kind of weird smile, it doesn't reach his eyes.

"Thank you for being a nice guy and sticking by my side all the time." You thank in a whisper.

“I couldn't have acted any different."

"I know it. You're a decent guy, Namjoon."

"Am I?" His forehead creases. "Are you sure? because on Saturday you didn't seem to know about it. By the way, on Saturday you seemed to believe that I was everything, but decent."

“Look, let's not talk about this now, okay? “You stand up. "I do not want fight with you again."

“Just explain your logic to me, Y/n. I need to understand. How can I be decent now and such a scoundrel on Saturday?"

Here's something you also want to understand.

“You were such a sweetheart to me today, and I hated these last few days, the way how you treated me. Please, can't we forget a little bit about what happened and continue as we were a minute before?"

He blocks the way with his body when you try to pass him. "Answer my question."

"I don't know, okay?" You yell. "I can't understand you. Simply I don't understand you! Maybe you're crazy, maybe bipolar. Or maybe the problem is in me. Maybe I'm really the immature girl you keep saying that I am."

"I'm glad you finally realized that" he says, and the defiance gleams in his sneer.

He is teasing you on purpose. And you, stupid, fall for it.

"Yeah, I figured it out," You roar, feeling the blood bubbling in your veins. "I realized that you're a cocky, too old asshole for me. Who is looking for a mature woman, someone on your level? Like Alexia, for example. I imagine kidnapping a dog sure tops the list of mature acts of an adult. Or maybe you prefer Delilah. You looked like you have a lot in common at my cousin's wedding, a party at which you were my companion. You two have more in common than I realized. Especially the taste for boredom!"

"That's what I intend to do," he replies, straightening his shoulders, looking very pleased. “I can't wait to have a grown-up conversation. Something that hasn't happened since you came into my life!"

“Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Kim! My sincere apologies for my youth. I can't do much about it. As for the mater of me in your life, I can solve it right now." You walk past him with your head held high, glaring at him.

He doesn't return nothing, just that coldness that drives you crazy. A slight pull on his jaw betrays that something in him is also about to overflow. And because of it you stop, realizing that there is nothing you can say, it will do no good to offend him, hurt him—or punch him so that he can stop being such an idiot. None of that would make you happy.

"I sincerely hope that one day someone can make you truly happy." Your voice shakes. “I always knew that this someone wouldn't be me."

Something changes in his face, in his posture. It is as if he had been punched in the stomach. You walk past him, heading over to the couch to grab your bag.

"Wait, Y/n," he calls in a gentle tone, sounding almost regretful.

"No." And you run away before he sees the tears that are starting sting your eyes, behaving just like the immature little girl he believes that you are.

Ⓒ 2022 Sugarushsuga, do not copy, translate or repost.

[sugarushsuga]

In Your Own Words - CH. 15

Genre/Au's: Rom-Com, fluff with bits of angst - Coworkers!AU; enemies to lovers; Journalist!AU

Paring: RM x Reader

Words count: 7.904

Rating: 18+

Warnings: Cursing; FLUFF;

Tigering: Mentions car accident; mentions of broken leg; mentions of blood; heavy make-out (no smut tho)

Synopsis: After graduating your dream was to become a journalist and work to one of the biggest magazines in the country. But that pretty dream does not translate perfectly to reality. The magazine is on verge of bankruptcy, great journalists are moving the rival magazines and not being replaced, your boss is a jerk who doesn't even know your name. Fate seems to be toying you around to its own pleasure, can you take control of your life and achieve your dreams, or you are going to be carried away by fate's plans?

Author note: Once again sorry for the delay on the posting today. I’m already going to edit and schedule next week’s chapter then finish the last chapter of the fic, edit and schedule them all. I’m so excited!

This fanfic follows the world of the Brazilian production Procura-se um marido series. I do not own the series or original content.

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Sabrina calls you terrified, ready to leave Seokjin at the farm and get on the first bus home after reading the message you have sent her telling about Hoseok's accident. But you manage to convince her it wouldn't do any good. Your brother is out of danger, and she might as well enjoy the weekend with her boyfriend and visit him afterwards.

Lorena is perched awkwardly on the bed so as not to touch your brother's injuries. Hoseok is laughing at something she is saying. You watch the scene. Strange how a situation as bad as the accident can result in something good like their marriage.

"What are you laughing at?" You ask, tucking your phone into your jeans pocket.

“You have no idea how relieved I was when I woke up and saw this hardware around the leg. If it was plaster..." you laugh with him. You know what he is thinking. Hoseok continues telling the story to Lorena.

“I was about eight years old. I woke up in the hospital with a broken arm, and my father lectured me like that for going up on the roof after a Kite. Y/n had wrapped a towel around her arm, pretending it was a cast. Is it over there kept bothering the nurse, insisting that she needed a bed too. And she only calmed down when the doctor examined her and said that she was in very bad shape, and she needed to eat chocolate to heal."

"And I'll agreed really quickly," You agree, laughing.

“Then I was released, and we went back home, and the brat thought she had to take care of me. She brought me food, let me choose channels on the TV. It was irritating! I wanted to go out and play on the street, but I couldn't because of the cast, and I got pretty upset. Then, one afternoon, I slept on the couch and Y/n took some pretty colored markers... What in her definition were pink, purple, and blue..."

"And they were pretty!" You object.

"And made thousands of little flowers all over my cast, to cheer me up." Your brother completes. Lorena burst out laughing and shakes her head, looking at you.

"Hoseok didn't come out of the house for weeks," You teel her. "And in my defense, I want to make it clear that I was only six years old."

“She was annoying at that age, and she still is today. And she was so cute too small... Not that it's much different now. She was always beautiful" Hoseok mumbles awkwardly. "I couldn't stay mad at her for more than two days. I never did."

Someone knocks on the door. You get up with your heart racing, but it isn't Namjoon. It's the nurse with a tray of medication. She jabs the syringe in the rubber of the serum plugged into Hoseok and turns off the lights, leaving them on just the sconces next to the door. Lorena pulls one of the chairs closer to the bed, but your brother doesn't like it.

"There's a son of mine in there, babe girl. You can go stretch out on the couch. I'm fine."

"But Hoseok..."

"Please, Lorena, you need to take care of our baby."

A little annoyed, she settles herself on the couch, and, perhaps because of the flush of adrenaline earlier or due to the variation of the pregnancy hormones, falls asleep in ten minutes.

You take the chair next to Hoseok and looks for a comfortable position, keeping your eyes locked on the hospital bed, to make sure he keeps breathing. The leather creaks under you, and Hoseok shoots you several slanted as you try to straighten yourself out. You shift position, folding your legs underneath you.

“Oh, for God's sake!" groans your brother, stretching out his good arm for you to get closer. "Come closer, but I'll throw you away if you drool on me."

You rest your head on his healthy shoulder. "To drool, I'd need to sleep, which won't happen, since you snort like a pig." But you don't move, you just stay there, still, leaning against your brother.

A few minutes later, he strokes your hair. “Thanks for taking care of her,” he murmurs. "Lorena freaks out easily."

“Not without reason. You did the right thing, Hoseok. You will be very happy together."

"I know. I love this woman. And... love you too."

You lift your head, eyes widening. "Oh my God! I'll get the doctor. You must have hit it hard with the head to get all mellow like that."

"Don't be an ass!" But he is smiling.

“I love you too, Hoseok.” And you snuggle even closer to him.

Okay, your brother isn't an idiot all the time.

You keep your eyes closed and end up smiling when, moments later, his snoring fills the room. You try to wait for Namjoon to come back, but tiredness gets the better of you and, when you open your eyes again, it is already day. Your brother is kind of leaning on the bed, having oatmeal feed in his mouth.

“Finally, Y/n,” Grandma say, taking another spoonful and feeding your brother's mouth. "You still sleep like a baby, you haven't even woken up with Vladimir's shouting."

"Leave her be, grandma," Hoseok says with his mouth full. "Y/n slept badly on that chair."

"You need to stop trying to protect your sister from everything, Hoseok. She has to learn to walk alone."

"I'm not protecting," he objects, making a face that makes you laugh.

He is fine and, right after breakfast, he is taken in for further examinations, whose results are more than encouraging. The doctor assures that the worst has already passed and that you can breathe a sigh of relief.

You are a little disappointed that Namjoon didn't keep his promise, but also relieved. You could imagine how your grandmother would dissect it.

"Did you see the accident in the cards?" You ask grandma during lunch at the cafeteria.

"No. Lorena called telling me. It was dawn. We got here when your friend was leaving."

"Namjoon? He returned? Oh, damn it! And saw me drooling over Hoseok? Why didn’t he wake me up?"

“He said you needed to rest. Was worried to see you all crooked in the chair, but I didn't want to disturb you. Hoseok didn't want too either. I spoke a little with him. That Namjoon of yours is a good boy." She bites her sandwich.

Shocked, you swallow a bite of your sandwich at some cost. “He's not mine. What did you talk about?"

"About you." She runs a delicate hand over her pale green skirt, getting rid of crumbs. Her bracelets jingle like bells.

"About what exactly, Grandma?" Oh please, not about the sharpie story. Please!

“He was just worried. Told me how you were after you found out about the accident, that you hadn't eaten much and made me promise that I would make you eat when you wake up. And I'm keeping my promise. Eat, darling."

You hesitate, looking at your grandmother expectantly. "You didn't say anything to him about what you saw in the cards, did you?"

"Of course not." But you aren't so sure, since one of the corners of her lips lift slightly.

The day goes by and, when you find yourself, the night is already pouring out its shadows outside. It is a blessing to hear your brother complaining that he wants to take a real shower and begging to be taken to the bathroom. Grandma is patient and explains, like a zealous mother, that he can't not stand up yet and that he will have to use the urinal. She will spend the night with Hoseok, as well as Lorena, so you were let go.

"But I have nothing to do at home," You object.

"Yes, you have. To sleep. You look like a zombie, Y/n,” Hoseok scoffs. "That was close. But it takes more than a bus and a van to send me from this to the better on. Go home, little sister."

"But I can't leave! You scared me to death, and I thought that I would lose you and..."

“Don't start fresh now." But he smiles. "You do have your life, and I'm fine. Grandma Cecilia will make sure I don't get out of this bed."

"I'm really going, even if it's by force, boy!" She speaks from within the bathroom, where she finished preparing, under the indignant protests of the nurses, a poultice of herbs for Hoseok's wounds.

"See? Besides, you look more broken than I do. That chair doesn't look very comfortable. You grumbled most of the night."

"I don't care about that, Hoseok."

“But I do, and so does Namjoon. He was worried about you. You know, I've been thinking, and I've come to the conclusion that he's not a bad guy. Talked a little with him this morning."

Ah, every woman's dream: her whole family talking to the guy with whom she had an affair while she is unconscious.

"It's just like you to say he's a nice guy, now that we are not together anymore."

"Oh, wait. I never said he's cool. Said he's not bad."

You roll your eyes. Hoseok shakes your hand.

“But I'm serious, little sister. I like the way he cares for you. He wants to protect you, and that's what every big brother wants."

"What did you talk about?" You want to know.

“About the accident, basically. Don't worry, I didn't scare the guy. Now go home and give me some peace of mind. I don't like to see you broken like this."

"Okay, I'll go. But tomorrow I'll be back, and you better get better, or I'll bring some plastic flowers to decorate all these pins."

"Call me as soon as you set foot home."

"Okay." You lean over him and kissed him on the cheek. "Good night, Hoseok. Get well."

You tense muscles throb begging for rest as soon as you park the car in front of your building. You drag yourself up the stairs, feeling the last drops of adrenaline disappear and exhaustion overtake. Cursing Sabrina at every step for choosing a building without an elevator. You call Lorena's phone from there, letting her know you are at home, and is relieved to hear, in the background, Hoseok arguing with grandma for some reason.

You almost cry with relief as you cross the long, wide hallway of the third floor in search of door 332. Your house has never felt more cozy. You have the key in your hand when the door behind you opens.

“Hi,” Namjoon says.

He is all dressed up—or dressed up enough for him—in jeans and Star Wars black t-shirt. He doesn't seem to have gotten out of bed or be about to go lay.

"Are you going out?" You ask.

"More or less." He closes the door behind him, trapping Yeotan inside. "How is Hoseok?"

"Fine thank God. He took new exams. He should be released tomorrow."

He nods, approaching. “I went to the hospital yesterday after I got out of the magazine, but it was late, and you were asleep."

“I heard." You opened the door but does not enter.

"I thought about going over there today or calling you, but I didn't want to get into family's matters. Since you didn't call me, I figured everything was fine."

“It was."

"That's good, I'm happy." But he doesn’t look happy, he looks... about to explode for some reason. And, in a way, he does. "What did you want say, Y/n?" he asks, distressed.

"What did I want to say when?" You ask cautiously. You aren't sure the content of the conversation he had with your grandmother or with your brother. His question could have a thousand meanings.

"There." He takes a folded sheet of paper from his back pocket, handing it to you. It is your printed email. That last one. And the words “I'm sorry” bounce off the page. “What do you regret, Y/n? To have met me? Have kicked me? Playing cat and mouse? what did you want to say?"

You close your eyes and takes a deep breath. "Namjoon, I have so much to tell you, to explain, but I'm exhausted, I need a shower, something to eat and..."

“Alright, I wait."

And with that, he pushes you into the house. Closing the door, Namjoon picks up your bag, throws it on the coffee table, and continues pushing you towards the bathroom.

"You mean you're going to wait here?" You ask, horrified.

“It's past time we have this conversation. I know your day was exhausting and... scary, but I'm going crazy, Y/n. Go take your bath, I will wait here."

"But Namjoon..."

"Please, Y/n! For pity, charity, or whatever you want to call it, take your shower, eat something, but talk to me." He runs his hand through his hair, takes off his glasses and rubs his eyes. Frustrated. Very Frustrated. "I know the timing is bad, but I need to understand what's going on, or…I'll freak out. One minute you want me, the next you say no. Say one thing, but do another. I've never met anyone so…incoherent. I need you to explain this game to me. Please!"

"I take a long time in the shower."

“I'll wait as long as it takes."

"Probably the hot water will make me limp and I'll end up snoozing while we talk,” You warn, hoping he will back away, and you can have this chat when you are aware of everything that is going to come out of your mouth.

"I'll take that risk."

A bit annoyed, you grab a pair of pajamas from the bedroom and goes to the bathroom. About fifteen minutes later, you are showered, your hair dripping on your back and skin flushed from the heat of the water and feeling sore in several points. You find Namjoon on the couch, legs apart, elbows on knees, hands clasped, fingers drumming impatiently. He examines you from head to toe before shifting his eyes to his own hands.

"I made you something to eat." He indicates the plate on the coffee table.

You examine the dubious-looking food. The orange juice is easy to identify, and you think that one day those scorched squares covered in bright red goo were slices of bread. You get emotional. It is the first time he cooks for you.

"Thank you, it looks delicious." You sit down and grab some toast. It's a little bitter, but the raspberry jam disguises the taste well.

“I'm terrible in the kitchen. Sorry." He gives you a sad smile. “You don't need to eat it. Want me to order a pizza?"

“No. I want the toast." You take another bite.

No man had ever bothered to cook you a meal. You will eat what he offers you even if it tastes like cardboard. Finally, you understand why Bea tolerates Taehyung's culinary experiences with that smile glued to her face.

“You look very tired."

"And I am." You take a few sips of juice under his determined gaze and go for the second toast.

Namjoon lets out a long breath and stands up. “Sorry, I… wasn't thinking straight. I think I can wait some hours longer. People talk about..."

"Wait." You wipe you mouth on the back of your hand and drinks the rest of the juice before taking a deep breath, building up courage. "Stay with me."

The confusion and surprise on his face makes you blush.

"Do you want me to spend the night here with you?" he asks cautiously.

You nod, wringing your fingers frantically. "I don't want to be alone and... you... calm me down, I feel more..."

“No need to explain, Y/n. I'll stay."

You let out a long sigh of relief. "Thanks."

After an embarrassing moment, in which the silence is broken only by the sound of your breathing, he asks, indicating the plate in front of me: " You're done?"

"Yea."

He stretches out his arm. "So, come. Let's go to bed."

A tremor reverberates through your body, but you accept the extended hand. Namjoon helps you put the mattress on the bed after you make sure nothing else drips from the ceiling. Then he takes the bucket to the laundry area. Meanwhile, you change the sheets. He returns at the moment you are getting ready to stretch the duvet over the mattress.

"I'll do it," he offers quickly.

He fumbles a little, but he stretches the piece until it is smooth and perfectly positioned on the mattress. Then he lifts one of the corners for you to lie down on. Once you are settled, he covers you. Then Namjoon rounds the bed, takes off his shoes and glasses, placing them on the nightstand, turns off the light, and lays down next to you, facing you.

"Come here, Y/n." He pulls you closer, hugging you. You bury your nose on his neck, feeling his delicious aroma permeate you, the heat from his body warms your cold skin. Namjoon blows out a breath with force a mixture of tenderness and frustration, and it makes your chest ache.

“Sorry,” You mutter into his neck.

"Because? For being honest?"

“I wasn't honest, I was immature. I was furious with you and ended up talking the first bullshit that crossed my mind. On Saturday I told you things that didn't want to say. And I'm sorry about that. Nothing I said is true. It is not anymore, at least. I just wanted to... hurt you, just like you had hurt me."

He moves away and you think he's going to leave you there, but he just reaches for the lamp. You blink at the unwanted light and takes a moment to adjust the view. When it goes back to normal, you find his face practically glued to yours. Namjoon looks exhausted too, but there is that expectation glowing in his brown irises.

"How so?" he asked, anxious and hopeful.

"I didn't like knowing that you and Delilah were alone in my grandmother's,” you confess, embarrassed. "I didn't like it at all, I was furious and... I went after you to find out what was going on. I entered the house through the kitchen, and I heard you talking about me. I heard everything."

"And by 'everything' you mean…" He stops, stiffening to your side, waiting for you to continue.

“I heard you tell her we were just friends. And when she asked if you wanted me, I also heard you saying... no."

He stares at you, stunned, and opens his mouth to speak, but you raise your hand in supplication and you rest it on his chest. “I didn't mean to spy… much." Your face burns. It would be so much better if he turned off that damn light. "I turned around and was on my way out when I tripped over something. And the rest of the story you already know. And, okay, Namjoon. I understood. You're not in the mood for commitment right now, and you're right. You just got out of a relationship, you shouldn't jump into another one that fast. But you care about me. And I know you enjoy being with me... part of the time, at least. And, you know, we don't have to assume a relationship, I mean, we can just..."

"Hey! Wait!" He interrupts you. “You're going too fast. I hurt you for saying I didn't want you, was that it?"

You look away from his shirt. Warm fingers touch and lift your chin, but still, you can't look at him.

"Look at me, Y/n."

You can't. You fear that looking into his eyes, they'd shine the way it always happens when you are this close, and with that you'll lose the logical reasoning and do something stupid. Like saying you are in love with him.

“Look at me, please. Look at me and tell me what you see."

Hesitantly, you dare to stare at his face for just two seconds before facing his shirt again.

“I see a handsome man,” you mutter.

"Is that so?" The surprise in his voice almost makes you laugh. "With glasses and everything?"

“Especially with them,” You admit. “You are the only man on the planet who manages to look good wearing that hideous thing. Well, you and Clark Kent, but since he doesn't exist..." He laughs, still holding your face.

“And what else do you see?" You peek again, ready to look away, but he stops you. “Don't run away, my angel. Look at me."

As soon as you lock eyes with him, you feel unable to escape. They are loving and, at the same time, contain something sinful, hot.

"What do you see, Y/n?" he insists.

“A beautiful man with incredible eyes,” You sigh.

"And what do you see inside them?"

"I-I think... tenderness."

He shows a half-smile. "What else?"

You swallow hard. “There's a good bit of madness too."

“That's right, angel." He caresses your cheek with his thumb the smile grows. “It's going very well. Please continue."

"L-looks like there's something burning inside them." And, oh they send sparks straight to your core.

“They burn. Every time I look at you. I know you've seen them like this before."

Helplessly, you nodded.

"So," he continues, "I'm here wondering how you can you think, for just a minute, that I don't want you?"

"I told you! I heard you saying that..."

"That I didn't want to own you!" He interrupts you. "I don't want that. I want to be your partner, your companion, to be everything to you, but I want you to stay with me because you chose. I want you to decide to belong to me, not to take possession, as if you were an object. I want you to want me just as sickly and crazily as I want you. And oh Y/n, believe me, I want you."

And with that, he brings his lips down to yours. Your hands are tangled in his hair, perhaps because it is strange to see them tamed like that, you don't know... The fact is that you need to hold him close to you, bring him closer, and the thought that you will never let him go again is so intense and determined that it scares you, takes your breath away, leaves you trembling.

Terrified by the idea, you try to release it, but your fingers rebel, and, when he nibbles your bottom lip and then slides his tongue inside your mouth, you give up and surrender to the kiss, to Namjoon, forgetting everything, who you are, where you are, what he is. All that matters is that he is kissing you, sucking your sanity with every caress, returning passion and tenderness with every movement.

“I don't want anyone else, Y/n. Only you,” he mutters into your mouth, rolling over you, his hand slowly moving up your belly.

"Oh, Namjoon!" You sigh under his lips. “Don't tell me that." You grab his shirt, twisting the fabric between your fingers to get rid of it. "Please, don't make me feel special like this."

The soft laughter against your skin shakes your already fragile common sense. Namjoon separates from you only to finish what you have started, taking off his t-shirt in one quick motion.

"You are special. I have no way to change that."

He kisses you again, threading his fingers through the hem of your shirt. You raise your arms in a brazen offer, and he accepts without hesitation. You've done this a few times before, and you know every curve and muscle well, every angle of that perfect body. But none of the times that you were together was this way, so sweet and so…disturbing. The fact Namjoon's not taking his eyes off yours is both intense and delicate, and it is hard not to catch what they are telling you.

He undresses you first, caressing you in the right places—and the wrong ones too, and even those feel right—before taking off his jeans. Naked your skin sticks to his, and you feel goosebumps starting on your toes and they go to the back of your head, bristling everything in their path. When he puts his body over yours, his muscles are taut, that part of him investigating, searching… You close your eyes, arching your hips to meet his wanting that union, which always makes you feel complete.

“Open your eyes, Y/n,” he whispers, not allowing you to reach him.

You obey immediately. He is serious, focused, and sexy as hell with his broad shoulders hovering over you. Looking up, taking in every feature of his beautiful face, you get lost when reaching his eyes. So, Namjoon moves precisely and bringing you together.

Slowly and deeply.

You resist the urge to squint and lose yourself in the sensations. Something greater than carnal pleasure is taking place there. He starts to move,

without ever taking his eyes from yours. Physical pleasure mixed with feelings, and something great, which starts in your chest and spreads through your whole body in seconds, it takes your breath away. The fire in Namjoon's face is the trigger, to decimate any trace of sanity in you.

He wraps an arm around your waist, lifting your hips a little. Hugging his neck, you try to keep yourself in place, as his thrusts grow stronger, longer, impossibly deeper, as if he is trying to merge with you forever. And, in a way, he is succeeding. You have the impression that you'll never be able to get Namjoon out of your heart again.

You stretch an arm across the sheets, looking for something to hold on to, in an attempt to keep yourself on the planet and in that bed. Since you feel you are taking off, and in any moment, you'll float towards infinity. A big warm hand captures yours, curling up the same way your bodies do. The long fingers press against yours, face twisted with pleasure and something else. His chestnuts eyes remain locked in yours, two glowing embers that invite you to enter and see his soul and everything that is going on inside him.

What you see there makes a myriad of emotions in you swell until it becomes greater than you, subjugating yourself. You pour it all out with a hoarse cry. Your lips are captured by Namjoon, as if he can't stand the idea that it would be lost in the air. He shudders, squeezing you tight, exploding inside you.

Namjoon let his head drop, burying it in your neck, breathing with difficulty, his fingers still laced with yours. With your free hand, you touch his soft hair, damp with sweat, and you wonder why you can't stay like this, with him in your arms, for, let's say, forever...

Oh yeah, because you haven't told him how you really feel.

“Namjoon,” You call, your voice still hoarse and your breathing ragged. "I think I... I'm... I didn't mean to, didn't plan, but I...” You swallow, not knowing how to finish the sentence.

“Alright, angel." Kissing your shoulder, he raises his torso and props himself up on one elbow, so his weight doesn't crush you and stare at you with eyes on fire. "I'm too. Much longer than I could realize."

"No, you're not!"

"No?" He laughs, his forehead creasing.

“Not like me. I... I lost all common sense! I can't think of anything else, just you and... Seriously, Namjoon! Don't smile like that!"

"Excuse me." He tries once, twice, but he is unable to stop himself. The huge smile, satisfied and somewhat amused, does not fade and seems to increase. “You look like a scared little girl."

"I'm scared! I've felt this way before, but…” You shake your head. "No, it was never like this, not with all this… madness. I..." You rub your face with your free hand and watch him.

He is just as confused as you are.

"Do you want to know why I broke that damn cup at my grandmother's house?" You continue, speaking quickly so as not to lose courage. "I didn't want to know your future. There, that's it. I didn't want to know what fate drew for you. I broke the cup because I couldn't bear to know that... that I wouldn't be part of it."

You avert your eyes to his broad neck. His pulse is still accelerated, chest still expanding with short breaths.

"Y/n, look at me." Reluctantly, you obey. The fun on his face giving way to seriousness. “If you let me, I'll make you happy. Very much. Not only

because you deserve it or because I want it more than anything else, but because I need to see you happy. It's like I depend on it to breathe." Two fingers run down your cheek. "You have no idea how much power you have over me Y/n. You may not be mine, but I am already yours, all yours. I choose you."

"Namjoon..."

"I'm not finished yet." He interrupts you, with a pleading expression in his face. “You don't know how helpless I felt in the flower episode. And before that, with that wedding invitation... It broke me in half to see you crushed on the stairs, curled up, as if you wanted to disappear. And the most painful, is that it made me realize how small and useless I am, when you received the phone call from your brother's accident. So scared, so hurt, so alone..." He closes his eyes, shaking his head. "I never want to see you like that again. I will never let anything hurt you like that again."

“How can you promise that?" You ask, stunned by the speed of the beats of your heart. "How can you promise something you can't control?"

“I can't stop bad things from happening. I know I can't protect you from the world, but I can and will be by your side no matter what. To bear your pain, listen to you if you need to, save you from a killer bouquet..."

You end up laughing, and he kisses your lips lightly.

"I really want to believe you, but I don't know if I can," You reveal. "You just got out of a relationship, and soon you'll realize..."

He stops you from continuing, putting his index finger on your lips. “I already realized, angel. Want you."

“So, you've forgiven me for the things I said on Saturday?" You ask with a sigh.

He takes your face in his hands, leaning in to kiss you, a splendid smile on his perfect mouth.

“I crawled into your bed without us talking anything out. What do you think?"

"That you don't know what you're doing." You yawn.

"Yes, I know. And I'll prove it to you until there's no doubt left in your beautiful little head. But now you need to sleep. You are almost shutting down." He rolls to the side and pulls you to him, until your back is against his chest.

“I'll never forget what you did for me yesterday." You lift your head for him to put his arm under it and lay on his biceps. "I will never forget how attentive and careful you were to me. As if I were to..."

He covers you with the sheet, kisses your neck and rests his head there.

"Too precious," he adds.

"That." You yaw again. “You said that once."

“And I'll say many more, since you don't hear what I say."

You don't remember fitting in someone else as well as you at that moment in Namjoon. It is like he is a lost part, an extension of you. And not only now, after satisfying your body and soul, but to really fit in, to be part of him and he of you, as if you are only one.

You don't have the strength for anything else, your eyes closed by their own, but a silly smile insist on curving your lips. You let out a satisfied sigh, and Namjoon chuckles softly in your ear.

“I love the way your body fits mine. You were made for me, Y/n,” he grumbles, echoing your thoughts.

A shiver makes you shrug your shoulders and press yourself even tighter against his hot chest. You are exhausted to the point of falling asleep, but before you wander off to the unconsciousness, you have to say something very important to him.

“I think I love you, Namjoon,” you whisper with your eyes closed.

The arms that hold you captive tighten even more, lips soft and warm touch the delicate skin behind your ear, the big hand looks for yours, his long fingers locked with yours, forming a tight knot.

“And I'm sure of it, angel,” he whispers in your ear.

You have every intention of asking what he means by that. if he is sure, you love him, or if he is sure he loves you, but the fatigue, physical and emotional, exhaustion speak louder. And you black out three seconds later.

The first time you wake up in Namjoon's arms is…warm. A muscular leg, resting on your hips, a hand is touching your left breast, chin resting lightly on top of your head. “Possession” is the word that crosses your mind.

You slip out of bed trying not to make any noise. Namjoon grumbles lightly and turns to the other side. So, you hurry to the bathroom, wearing his t-shirt on the way. You close the door carefully and almost scream at the sight of your reflection in the mirror. Your hair feels like a ball of yarn after having passed through the paws of a cat. Tufts pointing in all directions. There isn't a single strand in place. You abuse the water, trying to tame the hair and apply an absurd amount of cream to comb and kneaded the strands, which start to take shape.

You are just finishing brushing your teeth when the door swings open. Suddenly, and stumbling, naked, Namjoon scrambles across the cold floor.

“Good morning,” he grumbles, hugging you and kissing you lightly.

“Hi,” You grumble, smiling. “I didn't run away."

"You are very brave," he points proudly. "But that bed is very cold without you."

“I need to go to the hospital, Namjoon."

He presses his mouth to your forehead, then releases you.

"I know. I will take you." He stops in front of the toilet, lowers his head, and that unmistakable sound fills the room. Is he...?

Oh, he is. With you in there!

You are getting ready to sneak out, but he says: “I want to take you somewhere today. A party. If your brother is okay, will you agree to accompany me?"

He finishes what he is doing, flushes the toilet, and goes to the sink to wash his hands.

"What kind of party?" You ask, somewhat stunned.

“A family reunion, and I really want you to come with me. Which of theirs is yours?" He points to the cup with the toothbrushes on.

"The blue one."

He laughs.

“I don't even know why I asked." And unceremoniously takes possession of your toothbrush. You look at him, astonished at his lack of manners. Or excess of intimacy.

"What's it?" he asks with a mouth full of white foam.

"Nothing." You shake your head. You had more pressing matters to think about than Namjoon imposing himself that way. "This party... your parents are going to be there?"

"Eh." He spits, rinses his mouth, and dries it on the towel. Some lint stuck in the stubble. “My parents and some of their friends. It's their wedding anniversary. Thirty-eight years."

It's cool. It's ok to use the toilet with you in the bathroom and it's ok to use your toothbrush as if you are that close, but meeting his parents is asking too much.

“Oh… I don't know if it's a good idea."

"It is. Besides, if you don't go, I won't have anyone with less than sixty years to talk to."

“Namjoon, your parents will be there!"

"I thought I had already clarified that point." He laughs, slipping the shower door and turning on the shower.

"I'm talking about your parents! Those people who probably expect to see you with Alexia, your wife, not with me."

He shoots you an angry look. “For the last time, Y/n, Alexia was never my wife. and I would appreciate a lot if you didn't keep bringing someone else into our relationship all the time."

"But I can't..."

"Of course, you can." He stands in front of you, holding your wrists and lifting them over your head, then taking off your shirt.

"If I was able to survive a similar situation at your cousin's wedding, you will be too. Unless you don't want to go for another reason."

"What do you mean by that?"

"That you don't want to appear with me in public because you don't have the intention of having a serious relationship with me." He speaks all this in a jokingly tone, but the apprehension in his eyes is real.

"It's not that." You cringe. "But it's just that... meeting your parents is...too soon! You just came out of a..."

“Here you go again,” he huffs, stepping into the shower and putting his head under the water jet. "You forget you also just got out of a long relationship, and that's not why I keep reminding you all the time, nor I hide behind this excuse."

“It's different, Namjoon. Jimin and I didn't live together. We just dated. Nobody expected us to get married. Not even me. You and Alexia lived in the same house until last month."

“It's been two months. And stop changing the subject! do you want to go or not with me at this party?" He runs his hand through the dark mass of hair, small drops floated around him. A waterfall running down his scarred abdomen, creating amazing designs. It is difficult to tear your eyes away.

“My brother might need me,” You snapped, swallowing hard and licking your lips.

"He has Lorena and your grandmother. I think he can survive a night without you, but that's okay. Let's go to the hospital and then we'll see that. Now stop looking at me like that, or I'll end up wetting the whole bathroom. Come here, Y/n."

You take a step forward, but stop, placing your hands on your hips.

“Hey, you're not the boss around here, you know that? Not everything boils down to a simple, Come here, Y/n."

“Well, it works most of the time,” he jokes.

"Well, it's not working now," You lie.

"Oh, no?" He arches an eyebrow and smiles in that languid way that makes your heart perform acrobatics in your chest. When he speaks again, his voice is pure honey and velvet, like a siren's song. “Come here, angel."

Oh, god... You go.

Two hours later, Namjoon and you had breakfast at the bakery across the street and you went to the hospital.

You hand over the suitcase with some changes of clothes and snacks you have prepared for Lorena. She enthusiastically thanks you. The reason for such euphoria is Hoseok's visible improvement. You find him already sitting on the bed, doodling on a pad. his face flushed, the bruises no longer contrasting with his skin so much, looking like the old Hoseok again, only with his leg stuck in a horrible cage. He smiles when he sees you, showing his chipped tooth.

"Shouldn't you be lying there moaning and complaining about the cruelty of the nurses?" You scoff.

He laughs. "I think so, but I'm too happy to sulk." Hoseok looks away glancing at the bathroom door where Lorena closed herself for a quick shower. "The doctor says I'll be able to leave today at the end of the day, at the latest tomorrow. There's nothing wrong with my head."

“Out of the usual, you mean."

"Hey dude?" He smiles at Namjoon. "I didn't think I'd see you here again."

"I wanted to stop by to see how you are doing." Namjoon pushes the glasses up with his index. "In case you get sick, and I have to hold you, those kinds of things."

“I knew you were going to fall in love with me, it was that punch, wasn't it? That made you fall for me?" He points the chair for Namjoon to settle in. He sits up, stretching his legs, crossing his ankles.

Lorena comes out of the bathroom at the same moment and looks at Hoseok sideways.

"You're not going to fight with your sister's boyfriend again, huh, Hoseok." She warns.

“Number one,” he begins, “Namjoon is not Y/n's boyfriend. Number two, I hit Jimin's ass because he needed someone to teach him not to make my sister cry. Number three, I'm the big brother. I don't need an excuse to kick any guy who plays my little sister." And with that, he raises an eyebrow, glaring at Namjoon.

Namjoon manages a smile and nods once, as if in agreement with Hoseok. You roll your eyes.

“What do you have, Y/n?" Hoseok asks.

"I? Nothing, why?"

He's studying you intently, frowning. Oh, damn, why did everyone decide to stare at you? Isn't it enough that Namjoon, does it?

"Yes, you do. You're different. It looks... I don't know, like you're glowing."

“It's the new shampoo,” you say without blinking.

You brother narrows his eyes. "What made you so happy?"

“If you had hair like mine, you'd understand."

Lorena covers her mouth with her hand, trying—and failing—to hide her laughter. Hoseok looks at her and back at you, then finally at Namjoon, who looks oblivious and keeps all his attention on your scorching face.

Hoseok frowns.

“You are going at my sister again, you son of a bitch?" he spits at Namjoon.

"Hoseok!" You yell, offended.

"I'm not going at your sister," Namjoon explains quietly, before Hoseok continues with his big brother attack. "I am trying to convince her to date me."

"What?" Hoseok's eyes widen, glaring at you. "How are you trying to convince? Are you playing the guy, Y/n? What's wrong with him, huh?"

"Hobi!" You moan again, blushing even more.

And what about you be playing Namjoon? You barely made up. And at no point he brought up the dating topic. How can you be sure if he really wants it or is he just saying what your stubborn brother wants to hear?

"The guy's not bad," Hoseok goes on. "I think he might be a good boyfriend for you. I don't want my sister doing naughty things around. Why the hell don't you want to date the guy when he wants to date you?"

“Oh, I also want to know. You match so much!" Lorena grumbles by your side. And you stare at her, the word “traitor” glowing neon on your forehead.

"I wouldn't mind hearing the answer." Namjoon clasps his hands behind his head, relaxed and satisfied. “I even invited your sister to meet my parents today, but she refused, made a thousand excuses."

You glare at him. “I'm going to kill you,” You warn Namjoon.

"No, you won't," Hoseok interjects. "You're going to meet the guy's parents today and, end of story. Or am I going to tell Namjoon some pretty embarrassing stories about you."

"You wouldn't dare..."

"Let me see, where do I start..." Your brother drums his fingers on his chin. "Oh! I remember a good one. Listen to this Namjoon, when Y/n was six, she swallowed one of my marbles. Of course, she didn't tell anyone at the time, until she started to turn purple, and I had to turn her upside down to unmount, only she had just finished lunch and when I squeezed her belly..."

"Cool! He wins!" You jumped off the couch. "I will go! I will meet the parents of my boyfriend. Now shut up, Hoseok, or you'll end up staying in the hospital for at least another week!"

"Excellent!" Hoseok flashes an idiotic smile, but turns his attention back to Namjoon, who just gives you a very satisfied nod.

You are going to kill them both!

"So, when I squeezed her belly," Hoseok continues, "the little marble flew far away, only that with it came a jet of pasta, which washed the carpet of the living room. She looked like the Exorcist's girl. I thought that the goo wouldn't ever stop to come out."

You drop onto the couch, burying your face in your hands.

"I hate you, Hoseok!"

“I know, little sister. Oh, and there's the pens too. This is best..."

Hoseok continues telling the embarrassing moments of your life, including some that you would rather die than remember, like when you were in sixth grade and was caught in the staff room trying to figure out the questions of the physics test. You always hated physics.

Namjoon laughs so hard he actually slumps in his chair. You are relieved to see the nurse comes in to bathe Hoseok. You are about to leave the room, but he calls you back.

“I don't want you to stay here. Grandma must be arriving. It's no use stay here,” he adds when you try to protest. "You were so shaken yesterday, and Namjoon seems to do you good. You will have fun. I won't go anywhere. Also, soon they will ask you all to leave anyway. I'm very much alive. In fact, I'd rather if you didn't stay too long in here. There are so many bacteria and viruses in the air, you could end up sick."

Your brother could have all the flaws in the world, but no one ever can accuse him of not having a big heart. He always worries about you, you think even more than your father. Hoseok will be a wonderful father, you are sure of it.

"I'm not five years old anymore, Hoseok," you said excitedly. "I don't get sick for nothing."

"For me you will always be five years old. Now get out of here. Go have fun, but if you need help, you know..."

"There will be a payback, do you hear?" You point a finger at him. "I won't forget the humiliation of today."

He rolls his eyes. "Humiliation? I did you a favor! Now Namjoon already knows the worst of your story, and if he's still here, it's because he fucking likes you. Oh! Don't you get drunk and embarrass me, huh?" He winks.

"Don't you hate not being an only child?" You ask Namjoon as soon as you join him outside the room.

He laughs. "Only when Bea is around. We can go?"

You nod and he puts his arm around your shoulder, leading you down the hall towards the elevator.

"Let's go home," he announces. “You're going to need to get some clothes."

"And then we'll trade your motorcycle for my car, shall we?"

"Of course not. Part of the fun is there, angel. I will transform your wish into reality."

You look at him, suspiciously.

“I don't remember saying I wanted to die at twenty-five."

“And you won't." He laughs and plants a kiss on your lips. "You are going to fly."

Ⓒ 2022 Sugarushsuga, do not copy, translate or repost.

[sugarushsuga]

In Your Own Words - CH. 18

Genre/Au's: Rom-Com, fluff with bits of angst - Coworkers!AU; enemies to lovers; Journalist!AU

Paring: RM x Reader

Words count: 8.606

Rating: 18+

Warnings: Cursing; Angry Namjoon; ANGST

Tigering: Mentions of cheating; Fist fight (violence is never the answer); Drinking to cope;

Synopsis: After graduating your dream was to become a journalist and work to one of the biggest magazines in the country. But that pretty dream does not translate perfectly to reality. The magazine is on verge of bankruptcy, great journalists are moving the rival magazines and not being replaced, your boss is a jerk who doesn't even know your name. Fate seems to be toying you around to its own pleasure, can you take control of your life and achieve your dreams, or you are going to be carried away by fate's plans?

Author note: This fanfic follows the world of the Brazilian production Procura-se um marido series. I do not own the series or original content.

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You look at the latest issue of Just Facts with a frown. There's the zodiac that should put an end to all that mess. You have no feelings of victory, relief, ecstasy, or anything. All you feel is fear, dread, pure and simple terror. What will Namjoon do when he finds out you had switched the zodiac? What will he say when he realizes that all zodiacs have the same message?

You tried to tell him a few times, but you lost courage and... deep down you hope nothing will change between you. Vanda had said that what's real will resist, and at times you are so sure that Namjoon it's part of your destiny that it hurts.

Like yesterday afternoon. You wanted to avoid Namjoon as much as possible on Friday, at least until you found a way of saying what you had done and why. You owed it to him —and to your guilty conscience. In the late afternoon, the heaviest rain of the year fell, and you ran out of electricity, even though no one left the magazine before six. Some — Natacha, Irene, and Yoongi — killed time playing cards, others — Ella and Youngjae — filing their nails.

So, when the clock struck six o'clock, you ran to the elevator, mad to get to the car before Namjoon and get rid of the copy of TopNews before he remembered that and returned to the subject. The hall of the building was crowded with people wanting to go home.

You didn't even realize you were being followed.

"Y/n!"

You turned on your heel and searched the room. Jimin waved at you, diving into the sea of ​​heads.

"Oh, it can only be a joke!" You muttered. You already have too many problems to have to deal with your ex right then and there.

"I really thought it was you," Jimin said, a little tired after he has passed through to trying to reach you.

“Well, it's no surprise, since you know I work here."

He smiled apologetically. His pale hair is plastered to his forehead, his eyes glued to yours. And that itch you felt whenever you saw him has completely disappeared. For the first time since... There is long time you don't tremble in Jimin's presence.

"What are you doing here?"

"I was passing, then the rain caught me." He eyed your body.

Funny, you didn't have that urge to run your hands through your hair, which was probably bristled from the humidity.

"You look great…" he said, after a close examination. "Wonderful, in fact."

"Jimin, what are you really doing here?" You repeated, annoyed. You needed to get rid of that magazine before Namjoon comes down.

"I just wanted to see you." He shrugged. “Apologizing for Tatiana. I didn't know she was going to invite you to the wedding."

“That was kind of her. Send her my regards. Now, if you'll excuse me..."

You walked back towards the door that led to the parking. Before you could escape, he grabbed you by the arm, spinning you around until you are facing him.

"I miss you, Y/n. This thing that's going on with Tati... I think, I let myself go. I just wanted... I found out she's not the right girl for me. You are. We on match everything, we like the same things, we think the same way..."

“We don't think anything a like. You think it's normal to cheat, and I abhor it." You tried to free yourself from that hand, but he tightened his grip. "Let go of me, Jimin."

"I was wrong, Y/n! But I learned from my mistake. If you say you accept me back, I'll call Tatiana now and cancel all this fucking wedding. You just need to say a word and I'll be yours again. I was always yours."

Dumbfounded, you stared at him like an idiot. You had dreamed of hearing him say that so many times that you had lost count. Now that the thing was finally real, you didn't want to hear it anymore. A little abruptly, he pulled you against his chest. It was to be expected that you'd feel something, for old times’ sake at least, but all you felt was a violent indignation at him touching you like that.

“Jimin, take your hands off me." You struggled under his grip, which was getting harder, more threatening.

“You still love me, Y/n. I know you love me!" He raised his arm in an attempt to touch your face.

“Unless you want to end up in the hospital, you better let the girl go now." Namjoon came out of nowhere and grabbed him by the wrist in a way that made shivers run up your spine.

"Get your hands off me, you crazy!" - Jimin complained, trying to free his wrist from Namjoon's grip and letting go of you. "What's up man? I'm just talking to my girlfriend!"

Namjoon shot me a questioning look.

“Ex-girlfriend,” You hurried on, noticing the tension exuding from every pore of his body. Namjoon looked highly dangerous. And beautiful! He relaxed a little, releasing Jimin with a jerk.

"I'll walk you to the car," Namjoon told you, taking your elbow with delicacy.

"Hey, don't touch her!" Jimin intervened, pushing Namjoon away. "Who do you think you..."

"I'm the guy who's going to break your face if you don't get out of here now and leave Y/n alone!"

Jimin took a step back, frowning at you.

"The doctor...?" And then he measured Namjoon like a boxer does.

"And if I am?" Namjoon gritted his teeth and seemed to grow taller and wider.

Oh shit, why did Jimin have to show up? Why couldn't he just be... mute?

“You're not her type." Jimin crossed his arms.

"You don't know her as well as you think," Namjoon snapped.

“She's not the saint she appears to be."

"I know." Namjoon flashed a wide smile. "And I thank God all the time we're together for that."

Ever since you caught Jimin cheating on you, you had tried to put on that expression of pain and defeat in his face, to no avail. And Namjoon, with half a dozen words, managed to do it. But now it made no difference.

"All right. You can have her." Jimin gave in disdainfully. "She always goes with whoever pays the most."

You are not a violent person. You've never thought you could solve anything thing in a fight—except when it came to Hoseok— but, you know, a girl can change her mind at any time. You advanced on him, only, unfortunately, Namjoon was faster and hit a punch on Jimin's jaw. Off guard, your ex's head lolled back, and he fell awkwardly to the floor. Namjoon was already on to him again, and even though you'd like to see him like that - you know, dangerous, defending you and everything else— you didn't want to get him into trouble. And that's why you stopped him, interposing between the two, and you were only able to keep him in place thanks to Yoongi, who took him by the forearms.

“No, Namjoon,” you pleaded.

“That's enough, Namjoon. The guy already understood,” Yoongi said.

Namjoon gritted his teeth, bulging eyes glued to the guy on the floor. "I'm going to kill this guy, I swear..."

"Okay, okay!" You assured him, trying to calm him down. "I don't care for what he says. Just... take me home. Please, Namjoon, take me home!"

At some cost, he tried to control himself, ceasing to struggle to rid himself of Yoongi, but he looked at Jimin so hard that even you cringed.

"Don't approach her again," he warned.

"Come on, Namjoon. Forget this guy." Yoongi pulled him back, dragging him across the marble floor.

Namjoon eventually gave in and let go of Yoongi.

“Alright, you can let go of me. I'm not going to kill anyone today," he assured him, and you breathed a sigh of relief.

You thanked Yoongi for his help, but you know how journalists are. They always want something in return.

“Fine, doll, but everything has a price. And you know well what I want to know, although after today I don't think there’s, any doubt left. It's all very clear."

"Leave Y/n alone, Yoongi," Namjoon warned.

"And who's asking this, Namjoon? The boss or the lover?" The reporter provoked.

Namjoon let out a long sigh, shook his head, and, catching you by surprise, he clasped your hand. Yoongi's eyes did not miss a single movement.

"It's her boyfriend asking," Namjoon said simply.

Yoongi opened a huge mocking smile and, before he could say something, Namjoon took you to the car. As soon as you settled down, you turned to face him.

"Are you okay?" he muttered, looking worried.

You thought for a moment. Were you fine? Regarding Jimin, yes, but with Namjoon...

“I'm sorry about this mess. I didn't know he was going to show up here. And I'm sorry he thought you were a doctor. The last time we met was at your hotel's restaurant, I had just been stood up and meet his fiancée. I invented an imaginary boyfriend." you shrugged your shoulders embarrassed.

"I imagined." And he smiled a little crookedly.

"You shouldn't have told Yoongi that we're dating."

"Yes, I should. If I don't make it clear what's been going on between us, I'll open up space for another guy to approach you, like this asshole, Jimin, and I don't want it."

He fixed his eyes on yours, with such disconcerting sincerity in them, that all you could do was stare at him dumbly.

"Because?" You asked. The car windows were starting to fog up.

"Because..." He ran his fingers through his slightly damp hair from the rain. “My palms sweat when you arrive, my chest expands, my mouth tingles with longing for yours, for your skin, for your taste... Have you already told me a million times that you don't want to get involved with your boss, let's not mention that you are not in favor of large age differences in a relationship, and I'm seven years older than you. But we can't keep on hiding that we're together," he muttered in a very hoarse sexy voice. You tried to ignore the fact that your insides were twisting. "What happened just now made it clear that I won't be able to pretend that you're not important to me."

A lump formed in your throat. Namjoon was opening up to you, inviting you in, confirming that he's allowing you to be part of his world. And how did you repay? Lying to him, cheating on him, changing the zodiac without explaining anything.

You opened your mouth, willing to tell the truth and face his anger. But he spoke before.

"I'm really looking forward to making this work, Y/n, and I hope you also. We fit into bed in a way that... I've been with other women, and I've never felt what I feel with you. What we have is explosive and sweet at the same time, and I want to go deeper, I want to unravel you, each corner, every thought, dream, disappointment, I want it all."

You wanted too. You wanted all that, but you wanted even more, in a desperate way, what he left out: his love.

And with the realization that Namjoon didn't love you, you backed away, unable to tell the truth to him. Or yourself. So, after you'd spent the night together once more—and the blame was on you.

Namjoon leaves your apartment early the next morning. Yeotan needs to walk a little, and he would take the opportunity to stop by the market to prepare a special dinner. You left soon after, just to run to the corner stall and make sure the horoscope had been exchanged.

And there you are, face down in the magazine, praying that Namjoon won't discover. It's the weekend, you think hopefully. Why the hell would he check if the magazine been published as he had ordered? You mean, he doesn't check all the issues, right? There is a possibility he won't even know. That is, if Ella cooperates.

Besides, if he didn't read the text that undoes the magic, you don't know, maybe the spell remains, at least until he starts to really love you. And then, a while later, you could make him read the message by chance, so that the spell breaks — of course you aren't willing to spend your whole life living in make-believe — but then it would be too late, not even the breaking of the spell would be able to destroy his feelings for you.

Yeah, and maybe pigs lay golden eggs...

You let out a sigh, tossing the magazine onto the couch and sinking your head into the back. Of course, he would find out. Namjoon is anything but silly. What if you want his forgiveness, spell or not, you know you have to tell him everything. And there's always the possibility that you are wrong. You just remembered the way how he had looked at you under the rain of fireworks at his parents’ house to you heart fill with certainty and hope...

The door suddenly opened. Namjoon stomp in. You jumped.

"What a scare, Namjoon!" you say, putting your hand to your chest.

He doesn't bother to apologize. In fact, you don't even know if came to hear you. He's different. A different bad, very bad. There's an icy, furious aura around him, and it spread across the room, leaving your hair standing.

He knows.

"How much did she offer you?" Namjoon asked in a low, monotone voice eyes opaque, pointing a copy of Just Facts in your face.

You take a step back. "She who?"

“Don't play innocent, Y/n. I don't fall for it anymore," he spits, still in that terrifying murmur. "How much did Jessy offer you for you to sabotage my magazine?"

"What?!" You exclaim, surprised. “Neither Jessy nor anyone else has anything to do with what I did."

“Very flattering to know that you think I'm a complete idiot." He showed a smile, but it was cruel, vile... and a little agonized. "That article from TopNews, the girl who exchanges letters. L. Lovari." He hits the back of his hand in the magazine. "Would it be Y/n Lovari?"

You throat closes up.

"You weren't supposed to find out like this," You whisper, pulling away a little more. All that anger made you nauseous.

“Oh, wasn't it?" he yelled, coming towards you with long strides, but stopped a few centimeters away. "And how am I supposed to know that you were sabotaging me, Y/n? Perhaps on the next issue of TopNews? What else did you set up? Did you pass on any important information to her? Were you who gave Jessy the contact details of my journalists? How much did she pay you?"

"Jessy has nothing to do with what I did!" You snap, startled by those wrong conclusions. "I never gave any information to Jessy or anyone else! When I accepted to do the articles as a freelancer, I was still on the phone at Just Facts, I thought I would never have an opportunity and..."

"You're right, you won't have," he cut you off, his glacial eyes were just contempt.

You sigh, exhausted.

“Listen, Namjoon, you got it all wrong. Jessy has nothing to do with what I did in this week's Zodiac. I had..."

"Listen to you, Y/n!" He interrupts you, yelling, walking away. When you try to reach for him. "Nothing, absolutely nothing you say will have any credibility! You're nothing but a treacherous rat that I let in too close. You don't know how sorry I am about that."

"No! Please, Namjoon, just listen to me, okay?" You beg, approaching him hesitantly. “I never meant to harm you. Just the opposite, I wanted to get things right. And I had to change the files for that. I couldn't bear to know that I had messed with so many people's lives and... It wasn't sabotage! I swear!" You are shaking. “But Sabrina was right, Namjoon! what I wrote was happening in the lives of the column's readers. That's why I made this last reading. To undo all the harm, I've caused."

He just stares at you, his revulsion as sharp as a razor. And hurts you a hundred times more.

“The deck has magical powers,” you continue. "You may not believe me. It took me a while to convince myself that the deck has that power but is the truth! It's powerful, it belonged to a famous Romani who always got it right simply because the deck was in charge of making everything, she said true. And I didn't know that! I ruined my friend's life and many other people because of it. Including yours,” You conclude, looking at your own feet. “Alexia dumped you because of what I wrote for her sign."

A loud laughter ripples through the walls of the room.

“So creative and ingenious. I should expect an excuse like that. Given that you wove a web of lies in which I, very stupid, allowed myself to be entangled."

Building up courage, you lift you head to meet his fiery eyes. "Stop saying that! I never did anything to screw you. This has to do with the lives I manipulated. I interfered and changed the fates of hundreds of people, and not always for the better!"

His jaw throbs. “You really think I'm an idiot. And with good reason. I gave you all the reasons to believe this."

"Don't talk like that!" You try to touch his arm, but he recoils, looking disgusted. “Don't do that, Namjoon. I never did anything to harm you. You know that I lo..."

"Don't you dare," he snaps. "Don't you dare say you love me! Never!"

"But I love!" You lift your chin in defiance. He could doubt all the rest, but not what you feel for him. Not that. "I've loved you since my car broke down and you gave me a ride. Since I really met you."

“My God, you don't even blink,” he grumbles contemptuously. "Your lies are so natural that it seems sincere. You have the appearance of an angel, but inside you're ugly and... rotten." His voice cracks. He looks away from just a moment, he balls his hands into fists and clears his throat. When he lifts his eyes at you, you have to take a step back, it is as if thousands of needles pierce you flesh. "Jimin was right. You always stay with who pays more. I hate you for everything you've done. For having deceived me to get where you wanted. I hope it was worth it."

Assessing you from head to toe, you see a spark in his dark eyes. Minuscule of something you aren't quick enough to identify. His voice is morbidly cold when he speaks again.

“Starting today, I want you to stay away from me and my team. I hope I never have to look at you again."

"What?" You gasp.

"You are fired."

At that point, you don't really care about the job, but he is too angry to notice.

"Are you…breaking up with me again?" You ask, and a sob escapes you.

He laughs out loud. A kind of laugh that makes your whole-body twitch. “I've said it before, and I'll say it again. You can't finish something that never existed." He turns and walks out of the room, slamming the door.

But you aren't going to let him walk out of your life like that. You go after him, clumsily descending the steps, tripping over your own feet to try to keep up with him.

"Namjoon, wait!" You try to stop him, holding him by the elbow, but all what you get is a push. "I won't let you out of my life, so, you have to believe me. Where are you going?"

“Anywhere away from your fake crying."

Only when another sob reverberates in your throat you do realize you are crying. But what did he expect? He is leaving thinking horrible things about you. Blinded by tears and staggering with fear, you lose your step in a step, knocking you down the stairs. You just have time to close your eyes and pray, you don't roll down to the lobby. But before you crash in the steps, strong hands hold you, pulling you back.

"Bloody hell, Y/n!" He growls furiously, trapping your body between his and the wall. "What are you trying to do?"

"I-I just want you to listen to me. The deck is magical. I swear! I can prove you. If you let me show you the texts, you'll see that..."

He closes his eyes, shaking his head, his face contorted with anguish.

"Enough!" he begs on a painful groan.

“Please believe me."

You try to hug him, but he takes your wrists, pinning them against the cold wall, while his body hold you in place.

“I bought this deck because I lied to you when I said I understood something zodiac. I even tried to learn how a birth chart works, but I couldn't, so I went to this little shop to look for something easier, because I wanted to go back to reception. Then Vanda showed me the deck and said that it had belonged to a famous Romani who never missed a prediction in all her life. I didn't believe her, but the deck looked a lot simpler than the maps. I used it to create my texts. But everything I write happens for real for those who read. It happened to hundreds of people. You said you read some emails, destined for Liz, you must have noticed that. Happened to Sabrina, with these people, with me. And with you too."

He stares at you, sinking his fingers into your wrists.

“It doesn't make any difference to me if the fucking deck is magic, Y/n. You betrayed me by siding with Jessy. Can't you understand? You... cheated on me!" His voice sounds loud, but it shakes at the end, and for a brief second, he lets that mask of fury slip. There's heartache, agony, and devastation in his eyes. And they are so deep, so exposed, that they bled, as does your heart. "Can you at least once be honest with me?" He asks in a low voice, body still glued to yours.

"I've always been honest with you!"

He huffed in disgust, and you wish you were dead.

"Were you the one who gave Jessy Yoongi's contact?"

You blink. Hot tears roll down your cheeks.

"No! I didn't give her anything other than my article. A single freelance article, Namjoon. And I only did it because I didn't want to be a receptionist forever. You can accuse me of being ambitious if you like, but I've always been loyal to you, even when you didn't deserve it. I didn't betray you. Never could. I changed the horoscopes without saying anything because I was afraid you wouldn't publish them, and I had to put an end to that crap."

His gaze searches your face, lingering on your lips for a second, and you even think he's going to kiss you. He wants to kiss you. You see how his eyes warm and his mouth part. You also see the effort he makes to stay in control. He keeps you immobilized by his fists, his body still crushing yours, so all you have to do is crane your neck and kiss him. Namjoon stiffens as soon as your lips touch, but a second later, he relaxes the fingers on your wrist twitch, his hip presses on yours, his mouth open to yours.

Unexpectedly, he walks away, staggering a few steps until he imposed a certain distance. He watches you with anger, fear, passion, disgust.

"I love you," You whisper, knowing you have lost him.

“I would give anything to believe you right now." He looks at you for what it feels like an entire century. All those conflicting emotions warred

in his face. Eventually, fury and bitterness prevail. "Stay away from my magazine."

With that, he turns his back on you and practically runs the two sets of missing ladders.

You stand there, pressed against the wall, fat tears running down your cheeks. As much as you screamed the truth in big letters, Namjoon have already decided to not believe. He's a journalist, he believes in facts, not in stupid arguments based on Romani magic.

Namjoon will never believe you.

And cut you out of his life forever.

You open one of the kitchen cupboards and finds the bottle of rum Sabrina has saved it for occasions like this.

Sabrina.

You best friend, who is probably somewhere in that exact moment taking a drink too. You wish you could comfort her. Wanting to be comforted by her. You wish you haven't screwed up.

You empty the bottle, and all you know is that you wake up the next day with a headache next to the washing machine. Breaking all etiquette rules pertaining to relationship purposes, you send two text messages to Namjoon. And a dozen of them to Sabrina.

Neither of them answers you.

It's late afternoon, you are trying to get your thoughts in order, convince yourself that things aren't as ugly as they look, that maybe Namjoon needs some time to cool off. He has just heard about the article at TopNews, about the exchange of zodiacs and, apparently, Yoongi is also leaving to join the competitor. You have to admit that the conclusion which he has arrived at is the most plausible. It even seems, from his point of view, that you are working for Jessy. But that means nothing. Life is not always black and white. It is sometimes gray and, very rarely, colored. How it was those few days with Namjoon.

You hear the slamming of door in the apartment opposite echo down the hall. Without think twice, you run over to his house, hair disheveled and clothes crumpled, ready to do anything to make him believe you.

You knock on the door non-stop. Almost falling backwards when it opens.

"I know you don't want to see me, but..."

"And why wouldn't I want to see you, girl?" Taehyung smiles.

"Oh... hi! You guys came back!" You hug him. "How was the trip?"

“Very well, at least until we came home. Beatriz is in the room crying. She just saw what her brother did to Yeotan. Namjoon has no heart."

"Uh… he had to have him shaved like that. It wasn't out of meaningless. Tell Bea that I'm sorry and that I miss you. And... can I talk with Namjoon?"

“He isn't here. He met us at the airport and said he was sorting it out a problem."

"Right." You avert your eyes to Taehyung's mint green sneakers. "As soon as he gets back, can you tell him I really need to talk to him? And what... if he doesn't show up, I'll... blow up his bike with blue paint."

“You'll have to get in line. Bea wants to do the same. But I tell him with the greatest pleasure if I see him."

Shit, where did he go?

The hours pass and nothing from Namjoon. At the beginning of the night, you decide to go down and wait on the sidewalk, in case he isn't intimidated by your threat, but someone knocks on the door before you can leave.

Namjoon!

You heart skip a beat and speeds up so fast you thought it's going to explode with such excitement. Namjoon is there. He will listen to you, and everything will be fine. You open the door in a rush and a shy smile plaster your lips. Your smile trembles.

It isn't him.

However, it's just as good.

You both stared at each other for a full minute without saying anything until...

"I'm sorry!" you say together, throwing yourselves against each other.

Sabrina hugs you around the neck, burying her head in your hair as she steps in, you stand on tiptoes, resting your head on her shoulder.

"I was so cruel to you…" she whimpers.

"Forgive me, Sam. I did not know! Didn't believe I could be messing around with the fate of people."

She shakes her head and straightens up, still holding you by the shoulders.

“Of course, you didn't. You never believed in anything! You are the first tarot reader I know that doesn't believe in mystical forces."

“Maybe is because I'm not really a tarot reader." You pull yourself together to look at your friend's face. The face that you missed so much these last few days.

There are deep dark circles there, and she looks like she had lost weight. "Damn it, Sabrina! You are a horror!"

"Look who's talking!" She laughs. "That zombie face of yours is because of me, or did something else go wrong?"

"You have no idea what a mess I've gotten myself into."

She closes the door, and you walk to the couch together, her arm around your shoulders, yours on her waist. You give her a brief overview of the conversation with Vanda, in the esoteric, about the magic of the Romani deck.

“Gee, it's amazing… and dangerous. But I was an idiot when I told you that bunch of bullshit. I forgot that your brother was in the hospital and that you didn't even realize what you wrote. I was so upset when I found out that Seokjin had a fiancée that I took all my anger out on you. You and I always take it out on the people we love."

“I was so worried about you! I wanted so much to be around for you to drown on chocolate..."

She lets out a long breath. "I'm fine, as far as possible."

So, Sabrina tells you about her last days. Seokjin had the audacity of calling her every two hours, into the night. She stayed with her sister, who

not only had allowed her to get royally drunk like she deserved, but she also insisted on you being innocent. Sabrina had gone to work all these days, as it was the only time she didn't want to die. Or kill someone. And you know exactly how she was feeling.

"I missed you so much!" She leans her head against yours. "I can live knowing that I was involved with an asshole but staying away from my best friend can't. Sorry for everything I said, Y/n. It was just lip service."

"If you hadn't said all that, I might still be manipulating the lives of people I don't even know."

"Aren't you going to write the zodiac anymore?"

You sat down lightly.

"Thanks to you. And... to Alexia."

"Which Alexia?" She releases you, her voice rising a few octaves.

"How many do we know?" You moan, running your hand over your face.

Is Namjoon with her now?

"Y/n! I do not believe this! I'm gone for a few days, and you make a fool of yourself like that? Why the hell did you go talk to Alexia?"

"I did not go. It was by chance..."

You open your mouth and let it all out. From lunch with Jessy and Alexia, to the scene with Namjoon in that same room. Your telling is biased, you are not sure if you tell all the details.

"Fuck!" She clicks her tongue. “But I can understand Namjoon. Not everything is lost. He's crazy about you. I bet if he hears you for real, he will understand that you never betrayed him, and everything will go back to the way it was before."

Everything will go back to what it was before.

That's when you realize. Only then do you understand what has happened.

Namjoon treating you coldly again. Sabrina back like she never had been absent. Taehyung and Bea at home again.

The article worked. The spell broke.

Namjoon isn't on your destiny after all.

Everything returned to what it was before.

Well... almost. You still love Namjoon. The feeling that burns in you did not disappear as if by magic, but apparently his did.

You didn't see him that fateful weekend, he didn't come back to his sister's place, and you wondered where he was. In a hotel? In Alexia's bed? You didn't know how the end of the spell had affected him, but you suspected it wouldn't take a long time for him and the model to settle down, and that's what is killing you. To think that in a matter of hours he could forget you, as if he was forgetting to water the plants.

That's why you go to the magazine Monday morning. You want to see him, you need to look into his brown eyes and reassure yourself that not even a little part of him, however tiny, had gotten really involved with you.

But any fantasies you had about it disappeared in the moment you stepped into the newsroom. Natacha comes to meet you, her face confused, a paper in her hands.

“I'm sorry, Y/n,” she says, handing you the document. Your letter of resignation, already signed by Namjoon.

You are not surprised, but sad. That's the impetuous head editor you met long ago. You just nod to the colored haired girl and go to your table to collect your belongings. You peek through the glassed-in window into the office and... your heart stop.

Namjoon is at his desk, the phone wedged between his shoulder and ear, the glasses slipping down the nose. He hasn’t shaved, his hair is disheveled, clothes wrinkled —that is natural— but crescents dark under his eyes betray that he has slept little, and that is not normal.

Is he suffering too? You wonder, with a twinge of hope. Your eyes met and for a fleeting moment you come to believe that he seems in deep agony. He gets up and comes to the door. You hold your breath.

“Natacha,” he called loudly, covering the mouth of the phone with his hand. "Make sure that woman doesn't take anything that isn't hers."

Never in your entire life you felt so humiliated. And furious. He gives you one last icy look before closing the door and lowering the blinds on the window.

"Don't cry," Natacha asks, touching your arm.

You didn't even realize you were crying. You don't know exactly the reason for the tears. If it's pain and regret for not having explained everything before he found out for himself and came to the conclusions he had, or anger, which fought fiercely inside of you to reach the surface.

"Today he's worse than ever," Natacha complains, trying to console you. “He was here very early. Ella thinks he slept in the office."

Drying your face with the back of your hands and sniffling lightly, you turn at her and try to smile.

"Well, I better get out of here soon, before he decides to take it out on you." Unfortunately, your voice shakes, and Natacha's face takes pity.

Fuck the timing when Namjoon decided to open the game to Yoongi. Everyone knows of your involvement at that point, and the pitying looks makes everything even worse.

You clear your desk in less than ten minutes. You don't have much there. Besides, staying in the newsroom only would feed the agony you are in. Natacha helps you without saying anything, which is very kind of her. In a newsroom in which gossip is more than just fun, it's work, an attitude like hers comes to be touching.

You have already packed everything when Julia appears, crying.

"I never imagined what we did would end up like this," she whimpers on your neck.

“What I did, Julia. You didn't do anything. And I knew there was this possibility."

"Worth it?" She wants to know, releasing you to look you in the eyes.

You smile unhappily, shrugging your shoulders. “No, but it was the right thing to do."

You say goodbye to both of them and send a collective goodbye to the rest of the team. Some, like Youngjae, seems to disapprove of what you have done, others, like Yoongi, Irene and Ella didn't exactly seem to support you, but you felt their sadness to see you go.

You go to the elevator and press the button, balancing the box in your hands as you wait. You turn to scan the newsroom one last time. Many dreams, so many expectations and frustrations, all of that is being left behind. Not to mention your heart, which at that moment is locked in the head editor's room. The pale wood blinds shake slightly as you turn to face them. He isn't fast enough. Just at a glance, a brown blur of lenses and black plastic, but you see him.

The elevator doors opened with a thump, and out comes the most beautiful woman you have ever seen in your life. Restless, she straightens her long hair, runs a delicate hand over her forehead, smoothed her draped perfect designer dress and straightened her shoulders. The woman looks nervous, maybe even scared, but definitely wants to make a good impression. The resolution in her eyes is startling. She starts to move, not noticing you —which, frankly, it isn't even news anymore — and she walks, elegant and purposeful, towards Namjoon's office. Alexia is back where she has always belonged.

You enter the elevator with your eyes still on the model, until the metal doors close, putting a definitive end point. And that's it.

Moments later, without feeling anything below the neck, the doors open again as they reached the ground floor, heralding a new beginning. Only you don't want a fresh start. You want to go up to the eighth floor, run to Namjoon, keep him from Alexia's perfection and beg him to believe in you.

"Are you going out, or up again?" a familiar voice ask.

Jungkook is standing in front of the elevator, holding the door, watching you with a quiet disinterest. You lift your head, feeling out of place, weird, awkward, and so many other things.

Empty.

"I'm going out," you muttered.

He stares at you until he finally sighs. "And you intend to do it soon?"

"Do what?"

"Exit the elevator." He rolls his eyes.

Taking a deep breath and building up courage, you move your feet, taking the first step towards your new... nothing. Funny that, in those stupid movies that Sabrina made you watch, whenever the young lady is faced with a fresh start, soft, hopeful music plays in the background. Usually the sound of a piano, never a depressing country song on Josemar's battery radio, like it happens to you.

Jungkook lets you pass, stepping to one side, and then walks into the elevator.

"Bye, Y/n. See you." The doors began to close, but the tattooed hand of Jungkook stop them. "Are you crying?"

"It's possible. I... don't know what I'm supposed to do now," You confess in a semi-catatonic state.

"What do you mean, don't you know? Where are you going with this box?"

You look at the stuff in your hands, frowning. "I am not sure."

“Why do you… Ah! Did you resin?" He gets out of the elevator that immediately close and climbs in search of passengers.

“Namjoon fired me,” you say. "He thinks I was spying on magazine for the competitor."

Jungkook tilts his head, making the long hair cover his eyes.

"And you were spying?" he asks in a weird way.

"Of course not! But Namjoon didn't believe me. And now his ex is up there, probably saying all the right words, and tomorrow Namjoon won't even remember me anymore." Then you start laughing, shaking your head. "Tomorrow... what a pretense of mine. He no longer remembers me. The spell ended for him, but not for me."

"Okay, you're a little hysterical and you look like you're going to make a huge bullshit." He takes the box from your hands, tucking it under the arm. Then he takes you by the elbow and leads you out of the building. "We'll make you calm down before you tell me what's going on."

It's still early and the only places that sell alcohol at that time would be not very hygienic pubs. That's why you allow him to take you to the cafe on the corner, where you had left the car that morning. Ah, but you don't have a job anymore, right? Not boyfriend. You don't need to go home right away. By the way, you have nothing to do for the rest of your life. You need to occupy yourself. Or maybe you'd stop by Hobi's house later. You brother didn't have a lot to do until he's fully recovered from the accident. Oh no. Now he has. Or will have. His girlfriend is pregnant. He won't be unoccupied for the next twenty years. Maybe twenty-five if the baby is a boy.

You don't complain when Jungkook orders chamomile tea and cookies. You sit at the back of the cafe, you have your back to the entrance, with him in front of you. He waits for you to have some tea to start making questions.

“Now, calmly and coherently, tell me what happened."

You don't want to talk to Jungkook about the affair with Namjoon, especially not after having hurt him because of the man in question, but you need to vent in that instant, or you'll will explode into a million shares.

Building up courage and avoiding eye contact, you tell everything from the beginning of your affair with Namjoon to the end, adding all the details about the spell of the zodiac. He listened in silence, and the only time his brow furrowed is when you said that you haven't realized the zodiac worked because it was him, Jungkook, who you thought that was your happy ending.

"Then I did everything I did," You continued, "but I believed that what we had was true, that it would resist, but it wasn't. And now Namjoon will get back with Alexia and I will die."

"What to die for!" He grumbles, laughing. "You have your whole life ahead. You will love many more times."

"No! Not like I love Namjoon."

"Maybe not, but that doesn't mean you won't have a good time and be happy again."

"It sucks when we're down and someone keeps saying it's all going to be okay. Well, especially with nothing alcoholic around,” You grumble.

He laughs again. "It sucks to see such a beautiful and smart girl talking nonsense because she's heartbroken."

"What do you want me to do? Dance out there?"

"It's an idea. If you want, I'll accompany you. We can have dinner or just drink something. What do you prefer.”?

You look at him, really look at the absurdly sexy god and that makes panties explode within a mile radius in 0.3 second and that he doesn't seem to be aware of it. But when admiring that overwhelming beauty, you feel nothing but a mad desire for him to transmute into a disheveled geek with brown eyes and a lazy smile.

You shake your head.

“I'm sorry, Jungkook. I like you a lot, but it's not a good idea."

"I like you too. I'm talking about hanging out as friends, just that, but if you don't want me to keep you company, fine. Invite someone, maybe Julia or Natacha. Go drink until you drop, and tomorrow you can think about what to do out of life. It just doesn’t get all tearful around the corners. I understand you, Y/n, really. But I can also understand Namjoon's reaction. All this plot that you invented it sounds like a conspiracy. You should have told him before."

"I know! But I got scared, then he found out on his own, which, honestly, it wasn't part of my plans."

He studies you for a moment, watching every feature of your face.

“You don't seem to have let go of Namjoon."

You roll your eyes.

"Tell me something I still don't know. I love Namjoon, Jungkook. How could I forget how I feel about him all of a sudden?"

“That's exactly what I'm asking myself." He smiles. "Haven't you stopped to think that this spell story might be in your head, that you did let that crazy woman influence you? Because, as I understand it, if you undid the “magic,” everything should have returned to normal. That includes you."

"Yeah, but she said what was meant to be, what was meant to be, wasn't going to change. I think my destiny was to love Namjoon. And besides, I know it was all the deck's fault. I had evidence that I messed with the lives of many people."

"That's not always a bad thing," he comments cautiously.

“In some cases, it was very bad, yes. My best friend is still devastated by what I put her through, unaware of it, of course."

He snorts, shaking his head. “The more you talk, the more absurd it all sounds. If there was a spell and it was undone, and your friend is still suffering. She should be well, no?"

You frown.

"Maybe Sa's destiny was to love Seokjin too. And stop trying to confuse me! You said you believed in these cosmic things, why did you change your mind now?"

"It's one thing to believe that there are forces that guide us, it's another to believe that a girl like you can control them using an old deck and some texts. Answer me one thing, Y/n." He leans closer, getting closer hands on the tabletop. “Why the hell did you want to go out with me?"

"You're handsome. I looked at you and wanted you. I am really sorry."

He smiles. “Oh no, girl. Can stop. I endured all this story of yours in silence bewitched zodiac freak but apologizing for being interested in me is already too much. I won't be quiet this time."

You laugh, as does he.

“You know, I thought you'd never look me in the face again,” you admit.

"And I wasn't," he agrees. "Until I realized that you were really in love with the guy and didn't like it at all."

"I hated. Both having fallen in love with my boss and having you hurt. I never wanted this, Jungkook, you have to believe me."

"I believe. You're a good girl,” he says in a low voice. "People don't choose who to fall in love with, right?"

“If I could, I would have chosen you." Everything would have been simpler if you had fallen in love with Jungkook.

"I'm flattered." He looks at you for a moment before asking: "Can I take a test?"

"What test?" You want to know, meeting his gaze, which is suddenly stuck to your lips.

“I just want to check something."

To your utter bewilderment, he leans across the table and grabs your head, crushing your lips with his. You blink, eyes widening. How many times have you longed for that kiss? How many times have you thought about what Jungkook would taste and smell like so close? But in person and in color and flavor, things are… normal. That sudden kiss takes you by surprise, and it isn't unpleasant. Contrary! Despite the brutality with which he grabbed you, his lips are sweet, soft as velvet and very careful. But that's it. Nothing inside of you stirred or exploded, you don't melt, you don't think you'd pass out if he doesn't stop, nor die if he walks away.

Jungkook releases you suddenly and stare at you in amusement.

“Exactly as I suspected."

“Uh… I'm not sure what you mean by that,” you say, stunned.

"Precisely! You didn't feel anything."

“Well…no, but you caught me off guard, didn't you?" You justify, dismayed that, it seemed, you haven't passed the test, whatever it was.

"Think with me, Y/n. No one here is under the effect of the “spell.” At the very least, you should feel something, at least a little butterfly in your stomach, and all I can see on his face now is surprised."

"I didn't think you were going to kiss me. Especially as we passed the last half hour talking about another guy,” You snap, a little annoyed.

“That's not the point." He shakes his head. "You might have thought that you were attracted to me, but your body disagrees with that. It wants Namjoon. You weren't attracted to him because of a crappy Romani deck. And I bet he wasn't either."

"I don't understand." But at that point, you don't even understand yourself.

Your tea ends, you are already calmer, although you feel the agony bubbling inside of you, desperate to find an outlet.

“I suppose not. But think about it.” He opens his wallet and leaves the money under your saucer. Then he gets to his feet and, very gently, helps you get up. "Call me if you want to discuss the matter."

"Thank you, Jungkook. You were the best today. I didn't deserve such kindness and consideration."

"Oh, Y/n, you deserve it." He hugs you tenderly and kisses the top of your head. “You are such a sweet girl. Just being too stupid to believe you could get involved in editorial espionage."

“You almost believed it."

“That's what I said, just being really stupid." He makes a face, and you laugh still hugging him.

Something catches Jungkook's eye at the entrance of the cafe. He freezes and his amused expression disappears. You turn your head and meets Namjoon's gaze.

He isn't alone.

Your eyes remain locked for a moment, then descends to your waist, where Jungkook's hands are. Rage, contempt, grief gleam in his brown eyes. You let go of him abruptly, but that's already late, the damage has already been done.

Namjoon turned his attention to Alexia and laughs at something the model is saying. With a delicacy that makes your heart stop, leaving you with the feeling of having turned into a zombie, he places his hand on her back and guides her to one of the tables. You stand there looking at that big, smooth hand that so often had caressed your skin, the same skin that had wrapped itself around yours when you made love.

"Move, Y/n." Jungkook nudge you on the shoulder. "Or you'll let that the guy see you crying?"

You get out of the cafe so fast that you nearly run over an elderly couple who's entering. You stride to your car and Jungkook has to run to reach you.

"I don't think you should be driving in these conditions," he says, handing over the box with your belongings.

You toss it into the backseat with little care. "I'm great. See you around."

You take off, making the tires squeal, and turn the radio to full volume. Kind of on automatic you manage to get home, go up the three flights of stairs, enter and close the door. You lean against it, slipping through the wood until you collide with the cold floor. You are devastated. Hollow and broken, like the shell of an old peanut, with no prospect of ever being able to gather your pieces again.

At least that's what you think at that moment, not knowing that fate - whose existence until recently you didn't know — has other plans for you.

Author note: JK is such a sweetheart in this chapter. Also, sorry not sorry about it.

Feedback is always appreciated.

Ⓒ 2022 Sugarushsuga, do not copy, translate or repost.

[sugarushsuga]

In Your Own Words - CH. 14

Genre/Au's: Rom-Com, fluff with bits of angst - Coworkers!AU; enemies to lovers; Journalist!AU

Paring: RM x Reader

Words count: 4.629

Rating: 18+

Warnings: Cursing; Mentions of a car accident.

Tigering: Mentions of blood; Mentions of surgery; Mentions of a bad fracture.

Synopsis: After graduating your dream was to become a journalist and work to one of the biggest magazines in the country. But that pretty dream does not translate perfectly to reality. The magazine is on verge of bankruptcy, great journalists are moving the rival magazines and not being replaced, your boss is a jerk who doesn't even know your name. Fate seems to be toying you around to its own pleasure, can you take control of your life and achieve your dreams, or you are going to be carried away by fate's plans?

Author note: This fanfic follows the world of the Brazilian production Procura-se um marido series. I do not own the series or original content.

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You stare at the crack in the wall behind Julia's desk while playing with a paperclip. Why are Fridays always endless? Looks like the closer the weekend gets, the less the clock works. And you can't wait to get rid of the claustrophobic feeling that dominates you. It is almost three in the afternoon, and you still haven't turned in the zodiac. Last night, you had barely managed to stop sobbing as you told the recent events between you and Namjoon to Sabrina, let alone make that hateful work.

You even thought that Namjoon would hang you as soon as he found out you still hadn't sent the zodiac yet, and there are only two hours left until the end of the expedient, but he doesn’t seem to have realized it. In the few times you worked up the courage to spy on him, he seemed distant and distracted.

And there you were, just as distracted as he, staring at nothing, a text file open and still blank. Ella left her desk and came to sit on the edge of yours. She starts questioning you about the day before.

"I wasn't feeling well," You explain weakly. "Namjoon accompanied me. We live close by."

"If you weren't well, why didn't he take you to a hospital?" She arches her delicate eyebrows.

“It was just a passing discomfort."

"Hm, I know."

"Ella, if you take a good look at the way Namjoon treats me, you'll realize that he hates me."

She laughs. "Oh, Y/n, you're so naive..."

You blushed, annoyed. You are tired of being treated like a child by everyone. But before you could take out your frustration on Ella, your phone rings.

"Y/n, hi. It's Jessy. How are you, honey?"

"Oh... H-hi." You look at Namjoon's office. He is engrossed in something in the wall. You cast a quick glance at Ella and mutter through your lips, covering the mouthpiece of the phone: "It's my grandmother."

She raises an eyebrow but leaves you alone and goes mind her own business.

"Can we have lunch on Tuesday?" Jessy asked.

Oh my God. You shouldn't be seen with Jessy, especially now that Hani had moved over to her side. Namjoon would know about your secret work in a microsecond. Although maybe that wouldn't be bad. You mean, maybe Jessy might want to offer you a real job, one that pays the bills and makes you happy.

"We received very good feedback from your first article, and that pleased the owners,” she says excitedly. "I want to make you an irrefutable offer! I know you will be very pleased. I call letting you know which restaurant we meet. Until later."

You stare at your phone like it was a glittering gem. A proposal. One where you can finally become the journalist you have always dreamed of being. And considering recent events, it wouldn't be a bad thing to stay away from Namjoon. You don't want to be around when Alexia walks back down the magazine. Worse still, when Delilah shows up there, telling everyone that it was because of me that she and her beloved Namjoon ended up together.

You phone rings again. You don't recognize the number.

"Hello?"

"MS. Y/l/n?" asks the unfamiliar male voice.

"It is me."

"This is Lieutenant Samuel. I found your contact in the docs of your brother."

"Oh my God." You take a deep breath. "What did Hoseok do now?"

“I'm sorry, miss. He had an accident. Was brought to the hospital and..."

Then everything becomes a meaningless hum. The room is blurred, the beating of your heart drowns out all the sounds around you. The phone falls off your hand. Someone starts screaming. And after many hands try to grab you. You realize it is you. Colored spots dance on your eyes. Your brother's face, with its smirk, flicker between them.

"She's turning gray. I think you're going to faint!" Someone says.

"Then don't just stand there, do something!"

"Y/n!" Namjoon's voice calls. "What's it? Y/n, are you okay?" You think you are being shaken. "What happened? Did anyone see what happened?"

“I don't know, Namjoon. She was on the phone, then she started screaming."

"What phone... Hello? Who...? Oh my God. How is he? At where? Everything is fine, thanks for letting me know, Lieutenant."

You brother is in the hospital. You brother has been in an accident. Is unconscious in an operating room. They don't know the extent of the injuries. You should be prepared, the lieutenant warned.

"I think she's in shock!"

"Y/n, my angel, can you hear me? Blink if you're understanding."

With some effort, you blink.

Someone strokes your cheek.

"Don't Cry. Please, my angel, don't be like this. Hoseok will be fine. Are you listening to me? Your brother is undergoing surgery now, he will be fine. You'll get out of this... Someone bring some water. And get the fuck off her!"

"Wouldn't it be better to call a doctor?" someone suggests.

“I've heard that slapping someone in shock will do the trick."

"Ella, shut up!" yells Namjoon, but his voice turns sweet when, squeezing you numb hand, he says, "I'll take you home."

That works better than Ella's slap would have.

“N-no!" You manage to mutter, blinking back the veil of tears that cover you blind. "I want to see Hoseok. I need to see my brother. I need to stay with him and..."

Oh my God, you can't lose him!

"Hey! Calm." Namjoon is drawing circles on you shoulder. "I'll take you. Here, drinks some water. You are very pale."

Drawing strength from the calm that Namjoon deliberately offers you, you manage to wrap your fingers in the plastic cup he is holding and take a few sips. The water tastes bitter.

"No, don't cry." Strong arms wrap around you, sweet lips touch your forehead. "Please, Y/n. Don't lose hope. Your brother will want to see you well when he recovers."

You lift your head and finally manage to see something. The face next to yours is writhing in anguish.

"Will he?" You mutter in a thin voice.

"Of course, he will! Hoseok is young and strong, and if he has half of your stubbornness, won't let a simple accident finish him off."

You nod, eyes locked with his. "He is stubborn. Enough,” you say.

"You see!" A slow caress, which starts at your temple and ends on your chin, takes away some of the chill that makes you shiver. "Have faith, my angel."

You nod once more, sniffling and wiping your face with the back of your hands. You square your shoulders, trying to look strong. Inside you are torn apart.

“That's the brave girl I know. Think you can stand?"

You can't, but you do, thanks to Namjoon, who supports most of your weight as he puta an arm around your waist. He takes you to the garage and settle you in the passenger seat of your car. Namjoon starts and has a difficult time getting the car to move. Half numb, you explain the vehicle's quirks and keeps quiet throughout the journey.

You are more in control when you entered the hospital, mainly because Namjoon hugs you again. The aseptic and white environment makes you nervous and, when you reached the third floor and enter the crowded waiting room, you see Lorena, the beautiful woman, always impeccably groomed, with disheveled wavy redhead and heart-shaped face, with puffy eyes from crying so much then, all your despair comes back, and you just don't fall because Namjoon is still supporting you.

"Oh, Y/n!" She cries and hugs you. You falter and Namjoon hold you two up. "Hoseok... He... Oh, my God!"

"What happened?" You ask, being led to one of the armchairs.

Namjoon settles you next to Lorena, squeezing your shoulder in a gesture of comforting and hopeful.

“Hoseok was in his car, waiting for the light to open,” she said, torn apart. "A bus coming behind could not stop. The car was launched forward and stopped on the avenue just as a van was crossing. It hit the passenger side. The car is destroyed. They brought Hoseok here unconscious, and the police officer said there was blood everywhere!" she moans, covering face with her hands.

You swallow hard.

"He had an exposed fracture in one of his legs," she goes on. "They don't know about internal damage. That's all I know so far."

"Someone has to tell us something," You object, half rising to your feet staggering, but Namjoon stops you.

“They will." And kindly makes you sit down again. "- As soon as they have something to tell."

You understand the logic he uses, and it makes sense. Ultimately, the lack of news should be a good sign. You look at him and nod once. Namjoon lets two fingers run down your cheek, before leaning back against the wall next to the window, crossing his arms behind his back as the other chairs are busy.

The time is slow to pass. Lorena, a few weeks pregnant, clings to a rosary and recites the prayers in a fervent whisper, eyes narrowed, as if she uses all her strength to communicate with God. Namjoon stays where he was, looking at you, supporting you and trying to keep you calm with his presence.

At one point, he walks up to reception and speaks quietly to the attendant. She nods once and reaches for the phone. a short nurse appears and goes straight to talk to Namjoon. The woman frowns upon hearing what he says and looks at you once, then nods and disappears. Instead of going back close to you, Namjoon just nods and heads for the corridor through which you had arrived. You jump out of your chair at the same

moment, going after him.

"Don't go away, please!" - You beg in terror, reaching him before he can get to the elevators, because at that moment, you can't bear that he will leave you. “I need you… No… don't go away."

Namjoon studies you face with something gleaming in his brown eyes. “I'm just going to the blood bank. Your brother must have needed a transfusion. Inventories are never high. I will try to help." He opens his arms, kind of awkward.

You stare at him with a heart full of gratitude. "I will go too."

"No, no! Stay here. She need's you." He points to the room where sister-in-law is.

Yes, Lorena needs you, but you need him.

"Will you return?" You want to know. And your voice is so small that is reminiscent of a child.

In a whisper that you could have sworn is from a man in love, he says: “I would never leave you." A small smile plays on his lips.

You nod and watch him leave, clinging to his promise to come back. You return to the unnervingly white waiting room and throw yourself into the chair beside Lorena, reaching out for her hand. She lifts her head, the puffy eyes, the quivering lip, the anguish stamped on every feature of his face.

"Thanks." She sobs.

You pull her onto your shoulder and let her cry, trying to keep the tears under control. The short nurse, the one who had spoken to Namjoon earlier, appears with a tray in her hands and some plastic cups on top of it. Your heartbeat fast, in anticipation of what might come out of that woman's mouth. However, what she says takes you by surprise.

“Your boyfriend told me what's going on. Take this, honey." And she hands you a disposable cup, the kind of coffee, containing a white pill. "-You will feel better."

"What is it?"

“Just a muscle relaxant, don't worry. I can't do anything for you, lady." - She addresses Lorena with compassion. "Because of the pregnancy. I am really sorry. You can be sure that we will do what we can for your husband to be fine." She hands her a glass of water.

You don't want to take that relaxer, but the fact that Namjoon had the work of reaching out to her in an attempt to make you feel better somehow warms your heart. He wants to dope you, and that is more than any person had already done for you. You swallow the pill without any complaint.

"What am I going to do if he leaves me?" Lorena sobs when the nurse walks away.

"Hoseok will be fine, Lorena. I know he will."

"How can you be so sure?" She lifts her head to look at your face.

“Because Namjoon said so".

"And does Namjoon have some supernatural power I don't know about?"

“No. But he would never lie to me about something so serious." At the most inopportune moment, the conversation between Delilah and Namjoon in your grandmother's house comes back to your mind.

“Are you two…?” she asks.

"Friends... most of the time," he had replied regretfully.

Why would he feel sad about being my friend? And why didn't he tell her that you were more than friends?

Oh wait, he did! Not exactly that you were lovers, but he said something that made it clear that somehow you are important to him.

"She's…too precious to me."

Too precious for me.

Your eyes widen as realization washes over you.

Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

What did you do?

The surgeon, in mint green hospital gown splattered with blood, walks out of the double doors pulling off the disposable cap. Namjoon still isn’t back from the blood bank. Lorena and you get up, clinging to each other.

After introducing himself as Dr. Cesar and make sure that you are Hoseok's family members, he says: "The surgery is over, Hoseok is stable. We reconstructed the tibia. He had three fractured ribs, but there was no perforation in any internal organ. There is a concussion to the skull, so he will remain under observation. But he It is going to be okay."

You nearly sink to the ground at the news. The wave of relief is so intense that your limbs seem to have disconnected from each other. Hoseok will be fine, exactly as Namjoon had promised. Thank God!

"Can we see him?" Lorena asks, squeezing your hand.

“As soon as he goes to his room."

Lorena releases you and, to the surgeon's surprise, hugs him around the waist and starts sort of laughing and crying at the same time, uttering a selection of indistinct thanks.

Half an hour later, Lorena and you are led by a middle-aged nurse through the hallway that leads to the patients' rooms.

“He's still a little groggy. Try not to make him anxious and talk short. It is common to become disoriented after anesthesia."

She opens the door carefully, letting you through. Lorena takes your hand, you don't know if to give you some support or if she is looking for support for herself, it doesn't matter. It is good to have her by your side at that moment. There is the man you both love madly.

You enter together. The dim lights left the environment devoid of rather dreary furniture, there is only one uncomfortable-looking armchair and a metal table with two chairs, in addition to the hospital bed. But it is the man lying in bed that makes your heart stop. There are bandages all over his body: his entire left side is destroyed. The head, chin, hand, and forearm. The leg is uncovered, a tangle of metal rods protruding of the orange painted calf, forming a cage around the meat.

Hoseok moves his head on the pillow. Purple half-moons lined under his eyes.

“Hi,” he says on a weak sigh.

"Oh, Hoseok." You approach and strokes his forehead, avoiding the bandage on his temple. "You nearly scared me to death! You better never suffer another accident. I forbid you."

The dry lips, full of tiny cracks, stretches slightly. “If you start crying now, I'm going to throw up."

Lorena sobs loudly. She tries valiantly to fight back tears, but she can't. Your brother bowed his head. You walk away a little to facilitate.

“Babe…” He sighs. It is almost a prayer, and it makes you smile. Hoseok admires her for a long time, as if he is absorbing it to keep it in his heart. "Lorena, you will marry me."

She lets out a childish giggle. "Is that a request or an order?"

Your brother frowns. "Order, I think...?"

"Oh, Hoseok!" She follows him, stopping beside the bed and leaning over to kiss him with all the care in the world.

Hoseok groans, in a mixture of pain, relief and happiness. Despite the nurse's recommendations, Lorena and you start asking questions, and a little confused, he answers them patiently. Lorena strokes his forehead in a steady, careful rhythm as you keep your fingers around his healthy hand. At some point, he stops what he is saying and simply he stares at his girlfriend, his eyes full of tenderness and wonder.

You think that, after the scare, Hoseok has found the answers he was looking for.

“Well, you guys have a lot to talk about,” you say, heading for the door. "I'll look for Namjoon and we'll be back in a bit."

"He is here?" You brother asks.

“Yes, he was the one who brought me. I'll be right back."

"OK." He looks away from his bride-to-be for a second and smiles at you. One of his incisors is chipped at the tip. “Just… don't take long."

You go to the waiting room at the end of the hall and sits down. Ten minutes then Namjoon appears. You throw yourself on him as soon as you sew him, burying your head on his chest, and starts talking about Hoseok's condition.

“I just came here to get you. Come!" But he takes you by the shoulders and stops.

"Before I think I should eat something."

"Yeah, you should eat after you donated blood," You agree.

“I meant you, Y/n,” he explains in a whisper. "You are very pale. I would be more relaxed if you would at least have a coffee... with milk. With plenty of sugar, as you like." Then the let go of you and shove his hands in his pockets.

A half-smile tugs at your lips. You never told Namjoon that you like very sweet coffee with milk. He knows this by watching you in the kitchen

of Just-facts? That attention makes your heart pound. He is taking care of you, worried about you. Because you are too precious to him.

You finally understand that he hasn’t lied to Delilah. He would never lie about something so serious, even if in a conversation with a stranger. He is that kind of man, of few words, but he does good use of them. He might not want you to be his, as he'd made clear on Saturday, but he cares about you. It is enough for you to want him close.

"Okay, let's eat," you agree.

His gentle hand touches your elbow, and he guides you to the cafeteria on the second floor. The place is small and less scary, with subtle colors in the tables and chairs, and a range of colors in packages of all kinds of goodies on the wall behind the counter. Namjoon orders two cheese buns, two waters and a latte. Once you are seated at a table by the window, he pushed the plate towards you, then adds three sachets of sugar to your latte and stirs it before handing it to you.

“Namjoon, thank you. For everything. For bringing me here, for donating blood for..."

“Don't thank me, please." He cuts you off, shaking his head. "I didn't do anything expecting gratitude."

"But you'll get it even if you don't want to. I will never forget what you did for me."

He flashes a shy smile. “I wish I could offer you happier memories, then. Now please eat."

You eat. The two buns in less than two minutes. Namjoon's phone rings as you gulp down the latte.

"What is it, Ademir? Oh... fuck, I forgot." He looks at his watch and rubs his forehead. "No, I know. I'll see what can be done. Nothing runs yet. I'll call you shortly." And hangs up.

"Problems?"

“No… it's just… a hole in the week's issue." He averts his eyes, looking embarrassed, and that's what gives you the hint.

Your zodiac.

“Oh, damn it, Namjoon! I totally forgot." You leave the cup and reach for the bag on the back of the chair, pulling out your phone.

“Don't worry about it now, Y/n. I'm going to fix it."

"No! I should have handed in the zodiac by now, but... "- there were so many things this week that I didn't have the head to write anything. not that it is an excuse. You rummage through the bag until you find the deck. "But I do now, if you give me ten minutes."

"What? In here?" He widens his eyes.

"I'm not leaving my brother's side. So, I'm kind of out of options..." You look around, as if you were being watched. "Uh... don't tell my grandmother that I will do this in a public place. She will kill me if she knows."

He shakes his head uneasily. "Y/n, seriously, you don't have to ..."

"Yes, I do." You interrupt him. "I'm professional. I fulfill my obligations... Sometimes with a little delay, but still. Will only take a few minutes."

You shuffle the cards, thinking about the sign of Aries, opens the notes on your phone and starts typing. That one would definitely not be your best text, but at least you have something to present to the boss. following you keep shuffling, making your interpretations as the drawings that appear, unaware of Namjoon's watchful gaze on you. When you finish, he looks at you with a twinkle in his eye.

"Tarot reader Liz, would you be so kind as to read my fortunes?" he asks, with a shy smile. “I tried it a few days ago, but a crazy woman didn't allow it."

“Don't joke, Namjoon."

"I am not kidding." And from the look of his serious face, he isn't. "I want you to read my fortune. Everyone says you're good. I want to know how good."

You are too grateful to refuse him anything at that moment. And he knows it. Grimacing, you hand him the cards.

"The risk is yours. I'm a charlatan. Shuffle them thinking about what you want to know."

"Yes ma'am." He closes his eyes as he shuffles.

"Now cut."

He does as you ask before handing you the cards. You pick three of them.

“Look,” You begin cautiously. "I've never done this before, not even for Sabrina, and she's already burned my patience to do it. So maybe what I say has nothing to do with your question. The interpretation is mine, but also yours I think."

"Get straight to the point. What does it say?" He approaches, watching carefully the back of the cards.

You turn the cards a little apprehensively. You frown as you study the drawings. “Hmm... That's good, I think. The mountain, the stars, and the sky,” you say, pointing to each image. "The mountain represents the challenges, and the stars are sources of light, so we can assume that the challenges will be trespassed with some ease. Heaven is..."

“There's a dog in the card." He points, brow furrowed.

"I know. But it's the card is the heaven. It symbolizes constancy, fidelity. So, your answer would be something like... the challenges will be overcome with someone very loyal by your side. Does it make any sense?"

"That's not the reading that Liz would do." He shows you that smile with the adorable dimples.

“Oh, is that what you want?" You cleared your throat, folding your hands on the table. "Troubles in sight, but relax, you'll get out of it easy, easy, with a little help from someone who is crazy about you. Is that good?"

He is serious, his eyes fixed on yours. "Much better. And thank you. I hope the cards are right. It's good being able to count with someone in a bad moment."

“My grandmother says cards never lie, but I'm not a real Romani, right? Can't believe what I say." You gather the mess on the table and put everything back in your bag, then save the note with the zodiac and send it to Namjoon. "Done. It's already in your mailbox. If you can, please correct it before sending it to the printer."

"Always do this. I…” He takes a deep breath, looking down at your empty plate.

“You have to go,” You complete sadly.

"But I'll be back," he hurriedly, glaring at you. "As soon as everything is in order on the magazine."

He gets up and you do the same. "Namjoon, I..."

You want to say so much to him. That you have understood that you finally understood, but he doesn't seem too keen to talk to you about the subject. At least that's what it looks like, as he averts his eyes and sticks his hands in his pockets. Your courage disappears.

“Thanks again,” You end up saying.

"Forget it. I really need to go to the magazine, or there won't be time to run the edition. If you need anything, you know where to find me. I will be back later."

He hesitates, and you get the impression he wants to go over and kiss you. But Namjoon does none of it. He just watches you for a moment and is gone. You stay watching his back until he disappears from view. You want to run after him and dump everything that is in your heart right there in a hospital corridor. Instead, like the coward that you are, you take your phone, open a new email, type just two words and sent it to him. Before you can change your mind, you press send and head for the third floor.

Ⓒ 2022 Sugarushsuga, do not copy, translate or repost.

[sugarushsugarec]

This is perfect. Namjoon is a perfect daddy. And hubby.

I don’t want to have kids but I want to have his baby just so he can be like that to me.

Saturn!!!! How can you give us a perfect dad Namjoon when just yesterday or the day before we were simping about his ass and his daddy vibes??

Wrapped Around

Pairing Kim Namjoon x (f)reader

Rating pg13 | 16+

Genre/Tropes Dad!Tan, first time parents

Warnings Some details of birth, nothing overly graphic though, all soft fluff, and buff dad!namjoon

WC 454

Crosspost AO3 - herecomessatvrn

Summary Together, you made life, and in that moment, you were no longer the only girl in his life. 

A/N Thank you so much to @codeinebelle on tumblr, for your support and signing up for my tag list. Here’s some Namjoon for you. <3

Keep reading

[sugarushsuga]

In Your Own Words - CH. 19

Genre/Au's: Rom-Com, fluff with bits of angst - Coworkers!AU; enemies to lovers; Journalist!AU

Paring: RM x Reader

Words count: 7.051

Rating: 18+

Warnings: Cursing; Angry Namjoon; Mentions of cheating; Accusations; Namjoon and OC are just stupid when arguing;  

Synopsis: After graduating your dream was to become a journalist and work to one of the biggest magazines in the country. But that pretty dream does not translate perfectly to reality. The magazine is on verge of bankruptcy, great journalists are moving the rival magazines and not being replaced, your boss is a jerk who doesn't even know your name. Fate seems to be toying you around to its own pleasure, can you take control of your life and achieve your dreams, or you are going to be carried away by fate's plans?

Author note: This fanfic follows the world of the Brazilian production Procura-se um marido series. I do not own the series or original content.

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When you arrived at TopNews magazine, you are greeted by a dark-haired young man of little over twenty.

"Wait a moment, Jessy will come to you," he warns, indicating for you to sit in one of the comfortable white leather armchairs.

Officially unemployed for four days, your first reaction was to refuse when Jessy called to set up that meeting, but then you thought better, remembering lunch and the doubts that are bothering you, you had some time, and decided to accept the invitation. Sabrina thought you sensible, but she knows nothing about your suspicions nor that you intend to go to the enemy's territory for an investigation.

Their writing is very different from Just Facts. Everything seems rigidly ordered and sterilized in its shades of white and chrome, state-of-the-art computers, busy journalists who don't waste time making bets, and they even have an espresso machine instead of an old coffee maker. You look for Yoongi or Hani around the well-distributed room, but you just find the redhead. She gives you a pitiful smile, and you have the impression that something is wrong with the new job.

"This way, please," the boy says five minutes later.

You are taken to a room twice the size of Namjoon's, a dozen portraits hung on the walls, rivaling the many frames on the covers of success of TopNews. One of the portraits, is one of those of a college class, calls your attention right away, but you try to disguise your interest. Jessy stands up and extend her hand to you in formal greeting.

"Good morning, Y/n. I appreciate your punctuality." She smiles kindly and warm, despite the stark black suit. "What did you think of our facilities?" And indicates the chair for you to sit.

"Quite impressive."

“They are." She settles herself elegantly into her seat. "It's good to work with ease at the cashier. My love, you left so suddenly from our lunch last week that got me worried." And blinks a few times, as if showing concern.

“It was an indisposition. I'm better."

"That's great. Well, Y/n, I imagine you already know the reason for this meeting."

You nod. “You want an answer to your offer. And I already have one, but if you don't mind, I'd like to ask a question before answering?"

She frowns in surprise and can't hide her displeasure. "About what?"

“About that photo over there." You point to the portrait hanging on the white wall behind her.

She turns her head and smiles. “Oh yes, my journalism class."

Exactly what you thought.

"I didn't know you and Namjoon went to school together," you say, trying to appear calm.

“We graduated on the same year."

"Hmm… how boring. I mean, if he was like he is then, they must have been very difficult years. Namjoon is complicated.” You let go and watch her reaction.

Her brow twitches slightly. “He hasn't changed much since then, I think. We weren't very close. We argued a few times, for having different points of view."

"Oh! Then that's it! Now I understand the way he refers to you," you let out, praying you are doing this right.

"What way?" She straightens up in her chair, and you have to dig your nails in the palm of your hand, so you don't smile.

“He's not much of a fan of yours, but I think you already know."

"Yes I know. But what exactly does he say about me?" She asks, impatient.

You lower your eyes. “I don't want to gossip. It is neither right nor ethical to speak ill of an employer. I hope you understand."

She's silent for a full minute, and you think you lost her, but, you know, she's a woman after all. And what woman would leave such a thing

be over like this?

“I understand, honey,” She comments in that honeyed voice. "Don't worry, I won't say anything to him, and I won't be offended. Namjoon and I never really got along. So, you must not believe what he says about me. He resents my success. I turned TopNews into a sales record while Mr. Kim struggles not to close the doors."

"It's true," You sigh, looking at her. "Just Facts is doing very poorly."

"What a pity." One of the corners of her lips turn up, her eyes take on a joyful glow. "But does he talk a lot about me? By chance he..."

Someone knocks on the door. The reception guy.

"Sorry to interrupt, Jessy, but Senator Augustos has just arrived and want to you her right away. I've already accommodated him in the conference room."

She jumps to her feet.

"Did he bother to come in person? Fantastic!" So as if remembering your existence, she says, "I need to have a word with the Senator, but I'll be back in a second, my love."

“Alright, I'll wait."

She goes to meet the senator who, weeks earlier, had given an exclusive to Yoongi, but that Veiga, owner of Just Facts, had vetoed, leaving Namjoon furious and Yoongi frustrated. Was he there for another interview with your ex-coworker, now without having a rich businessman to veto the article?

You take advantage of the fact that you are alone and get up to examine the graduation photo closer. Namjoon haven't changed much since then. He's stronger now, hair shorter, but the strands still messy over the head. And the glasses were exactly the same. You smile without wanting to. You avoided thinking about him at all costs since you left Just Facts building on Monday. The problem is, a lot of things remind you of Namjoon; a toasted bread, a steaming cup of coffee, pizza, dogs on the street, your bedroom, your bed, your bathroom, your couch, your messy hair in the morning, your neighbor...

Unemployed, with a full head and a paralyzed heart, you tried to keep busy. So, you killed time by spending the afternoons at your brother's house, helping Lorena take care of him, but there isn't much to do. Hoseok is recovering quickly, the only snag is the cage around his calf.

He and his fiancée are happy and in love and make a point of expressing it, which is embarrassing and irritating on so many levels. Unfortunately, in one of these visits you walked in without knocking, and it was the worst idea you ever had, because you ended up meeting the two in a very embarrassing moment. They were... uh... celebrating something in a way that dispensed the use of clothes, for so to speak.

Shaking your head and returning your attention to the portrait, you search for Jessy's face. It takes you a while to recognize her. She has changed a lot over the years. She has lost weight, has dyed her brown hair blonde and her eyes have hardened.

Something tells you that you have found the answer, although you still don't know the question.

You take out your phone and take pictures of the portrait, then put it back in your bag and you sneak out of Jessy's office and the aseptic writing room, without looking around.

“My God, what a day!" Bea grumbles, throwing herself into the chair's restaurant in the city center. “That's why I can't go on vacation. Have accumulated work of at least two weeks!"

You have been avoiding Beatriz, afraid that she might tell you what you already know what has happened: her brother has gotten back together with his ex. But for the moment, you face your fears, following Namjoon's own advice and leaving your personal life aside, as you feel that something big, much bigger than you had supposed is happening.

"I'm sorry I called you in the middle of the day, Bea, but I needed to talk to you."

After leaving TopNews building, you called Bia and she had agreed to meet you at the restaurant, just three blocks from her work. The room is small, almost familiar, with plaid tablecloths and natural flowers on the tables. The windows are tall and narrow, lace curtains hanging on the lower half of the panes protecting customers from curious on the sidewalk.

"No problem," Bea replies, scanning the menu.

You waited for her to order and your fettuccine al pesto arrive to get into the subject.

"Did you meet your brother's college friends?"

She frowns, swallowing her food. “My brother was never one to have many friends, but I did meet some."

You take out your phone and show her pictures of Jessy.

“Oh, I remember her! She was crazy about Namjoon. Where did you find this picture?"

“Don't ask me, Bea."

"All right. What's up with Jessy?"

"Well..." You blush. What a fucking journalist you are. "I expected you tell me."

“Oh, Y/n, I don't know much about her other than what Namjoon told me. That girl lived at his feet, she even sent gifts. But he didn't want anything with her. He was dating a girl in senior year of chemistry, I think. My brother was never much of a womanizer...” She smiles smugly. "Jessy doesn't tolerate rejection very well and ruined his car paint with a wrench slit. She wrote "I hate you, asshole" inside a heart."

"My God! A bit extreme reaction."

“I think it was her idea of ​​romanticism. It all ended in the police station. Namjoon can't even bear to hear her name spoken. Why are you so interested in my brother's life?"

You put your phone in your bag to take your eyes off hers. "I... uh... Because he and I work together," you say at last.

"Really?" she asks excitedly. “Why didn't you ever tell me this?"

“You never mentioned who your brother was. And I only knew about the kinship after you've traveled."

“Damn, what a small world! I never imagined that..." Her phone vibrates. Beatriz glanced at the screen and rolls her eyes. "Jesus! I need to breathe!" She mutters into the device. "Y/n, I'm going to have to go back to work. Stop by my house later so we can talk better. Tae is going to cook. Only vegetables, I think this time everything will be fine." You laugh, nodding your head. “Until night." And she hurries off, without even finishing the fettuccine.

You paid the bill and leave the restaurant feeling tense and excited. You haven't discovered a lot, but at least you have a starting point. Jessy loved Namjoon and had been rejected. Did she still harbor a grudge against him? You can bet that she does.

You go to the car parked at the end of the block and start it, putting the car in gear and turning the steering wheel. You are ready to leave the spot when a car the size of a tank stops in front of you, blocking the exit. You glared at the huge black BMW and by little you don't accelerate and destroy its rear end — okay, the likelihood that your car wouldn't surviving the collision, that's what stop you.

The middle-aged man with voluminous gray hair walks down and around the vehicle to open the passenger door. You know that man. You saw him once in a while in the newsroom yelling at Namjoon. Veiga is not the fifties hot, but he has the size and elegance to supply the excess of the abdominal fat.

A pair of long legs in a black pencil skirt follow. Veiga reaches out his hand to help her down, and when the woman straightens up on her jumping, he pulls her to him, planting a lingering kiss on her lips.

"Holy crap!"

With trembling fingers, you hurriedly open your bag. You take your cell phone and open the camera, capturing the exact moment the woman throws her head back, laughing, wrapped around the neck of the owner of Just Facts. You take some more pictures of the couple until they disappear from view.

Your thoughts are racing, but the enigmatic puzzle has begun to take shape, the pieces finally falling into place and making sense. You close your eyes and lean your head back against the backrest when you understand what's happening. As you left the house to meet Jessy that morning, you only intended to satisfy your curiosity, but at no time did you imagine who could discover the real reason Just Facts is going to the

hole.

Namjoon is right. He's being sabotaged.

"Mother fucker!"

Sabrina comes home from the office and finds you on the couch with your face buried in the computer and in the dozens of photos of the unlikely couple printed on paper.

"Did you take the job?" she wants to know excitedly.

“No, far from it, but I found something better."

She looks at one of the photographs, tilting her head.

"An article?"

“It's more like a dossier. You have no idea what I discovered."

"Who is this guy?"

"The owner of Just Facts. Let me just finish this text and I'll explain calmly. Can you fix it for me later? Sometimes I change some letters and

I don't realize,” You ask, grimacing. "Oh, and Bea invited us to dinner."

She shivers, dropping her bag on the couch.

“My goodness, better keep the antacid handy. I'm going to take a shower while you finish, and then you'll tell me what kind of intrigues you discovered over the potbellied crown."

You are so focused on what you are writing, absorbed in the evil plot that Jessy has created that Namjoon had no idea about, which you finish before Sabrina finishes the shower. You printed the three-page document so your friend, can correct and you are checking in when a commotion at the front door distracts you. Someone intending to break into the house by force.

“Hey, if you knock the door down, you'll pay for the repairs,” You warn when you open it.

A tall man in a well-tailored shirt is punching the door without pity. He is handsome despite his exhausted appearance. Slim, straight features and classic. The broad to no end shoulders reveals who he's.

You lean back against the doorjamb, wrapping the mound of papers in your hands until it turns into a cone — in case you need a weapon — and you cross your arms.

"What's your problem, huh? Besides breaking my friend's heart, you also intend to break the door?"

“You must be Y/n. I'm Seokjin. And I just want to talk to Sabrina. But she doesn't answer my calls!" He says, distressed.

"And wasn't that clear enough? She doesn't want to talk to you!"

“I love Sabrina,” he murmurs. "You need to understand that..."

"What, what?" You interrupt him. "You love her so much that you decided to make her your lover?"

"It's not that." He shakes his head, tortured. You almost feel sorry for him.

“I didn't want to get involved, but Sabrina is so…lovely, so unique, and perfect and... I found myself in love before I knew it."

"People who are engaged should not find others lovely, unique, perfect people,” you snap.

“And that's what I finally understood. And that's what I need to tell her. I just want a chance to explain myself. Just one chance to make her understand that I meant no harm, that things got out of hand! I just want her to listen to me."

You frown. You know what it's like. Want to tell someone what really happened and that someone doesn't give a damn about you. In addition, the anguish in Seokjin's eyes is visible. Too visible and familiar. And, who knows? You remember your grandmother reading Sabrina's fortunes. the right man on the wrong time.

Shit. Grandma always gets it right.

You shake your head, sighing.

“Sabrina is going to kill me,” you mutter, pulling away to give him space. He doesn't hesitate and gives you a grateful look as he enters.

Sabrina is walking back into the room at that moment in a flowery knit dress, hair still dripping. She freezes at the sight of the anxious man in front of her. Then looks at you, and the word “traitor” flashing across her forehead.

"Remember what my grandmother told you?" You ask and get no answer though something flashes in her eyes. "Just listen to what he has to say. Talk, okay? Maybe he's not the asshole we thought he is."

She averts her eyes but makes no move to lock herself in her room, which Seokjin takes it as encouragement.

“I'm done with Sohee,” he announces hastily.

You friend slowly raises her head.

“And what do you want me to do, celebrate? Stay where you are, Y/n!" She yells, preventing you from leaving the room. "You're going to stay here and listen to everything this asshole has to say."

You nod, keeping quiet to listen to Seokjin's explanation.

"You're absolutely right to hate me," he says. "I don't have much respect for myself either at this point. But Sabrina, I didn't do anything in case thought. Me and Sohee were together since high school. We always got along well, and I thought passion was that. Then I met you. I didn't choose to fall in love with you, but I did, and I'm sorry I put you in a difficult position."

"I really realized how sorry you were that day at the farm, pretending that I was nothing more than an unimportant architect."

'What did you want me to do? Sohee is a wonderful person, she doesn’t deserve what I did to her. I didn't want to hurt her even more."

"What about me, Seokjin? Do I deserve? Did you think about how all this made me wounded? Hold still, Y/n!"

"I was just going to..."

"Stay there!" And, turning to Seokjin, she adds: "You didn't stop to think about how I was feeling!"

"I didn't have time!" he counters. “But I've been thinking, a lot. Per that I opened the game for Sohee. She knows everything."

"And after she kicked you, you decided to come to me so I could lick your wounds?" Sabrina put her hands on her hips. Hmm. Seokjin should be careful from now on.

"No. It's not like that at all," he grumbles wearily, opening his arms. "She was even understanding, which made me even more disgusted with myself. I was the one who broke the engagement, Sabrina. I could not marry a woman loving another. I love you."

She swallows hard, and you hold your breath.

"If you think I'm going to want you back for this..." But she doesn't continue.

"I was hoping you'd want me back for not being able to live without me, just as I can no longer live without you. I was wrong, I admit, I am human and weak, a complete imbecile. But have you never been wrong? Never wanted to be able to go back in time and undo a bullshit? I would give anything to change our story, Sabrina, but I don't have that power. Only you have. If you give me a chance, I will prove to you that I am worthy to deserve your love. I will spend the rest of my days proving that I love you. Just... give me a chance. It's all I ask. A new chance."

All your friend does is stand still, looking at Seokjin with heavy breathing.

You take a step back toward the exit, and then another, and yet another, until you reach the door of the room. You smile as you close it noiselessly. Sabrina is reluctant, but she will end up giving Seokjin a second chance. It's written in her eyes. Does he deserve it? You aren't sure but who are you to judge someone who has fallen in love with the wrong person?

You knock on the apartment opposite and Beatriz answers at the same time, still in her work clothes, a glass of wine in her hands.

"Right on time!"

Yeotan jumps on your leg, and you can't resist and picked him up. Because of the new grooming, he has been given a collar decorated with shiny blue pebbles.

"Hey boy." You laugh as he starts licking your face. "I miss you too."

Tae is in the kitchen, absorbed in his pots, a terry cloth hanging over the shoulder. You greet him from afar.

"Good night, Y/n," he replies. "I hope you like ratatouille."

"Uh... me too," you say awkwardly, and right behind you, Bea laughs.

You shove the papers in your hand into your jeans pocket, offering to help Bea set the table. You explain to her that Sabrina might not show up and that you didn't have time to get anything for dessert.

"Do not worry. I bought lemon pie."

You take a quick look at the kitchen and lean over to Bea.

"What is ratatouille?" You ask in a whisper.

"A French vegetable-based dish. The eggplant is the only thing that worries me,” she confessed, arching her well-shaped brows.

You watch her features for a moment and realized that she and Namjoon don't look like at all. Bea has Tereza's delicate beauty, but the look... that somewhat authoritarian and irreverent manner is identical to that of her father and brother. You avert your eyes from hers, contemplating the table set.

“Sabrina isn't coming.” you point to the four services.

"I know. It's for my—” The doorbell rings. “Oh, he's here."

Oh please, please, please! Let it be Sabrina. Let it be Sabrina!

“You're ten minutes late!" Bea says as she opens the door.

"It took me a while to park the bike."

You close your eyes and takes a deep breath. Would you ever have your prayers answered?

Namjoon is smiling at his sister, his hair standing on end, as you loved him, his helmet hanging from his elbow, a black Led Zeppelin T-shirt in stylish letters, the basic jeans ever. A nerd who likes old school rock and speed. Although strange, the combination is perfect, making him irresistible.

“I brought wine,” he warns, giving his sister a quick kiss on the cheek when entering.

Then he sees you there, standing by the dining table, at which not long before you had spent the night building planes. His jaw tightens and his eyes take on that oppressive opacity.

"I found out today that you and Y/n work together" Bea comments, not noticing the tension that suddenly takes over the room and leaves you breathless.

He doesn't say anything, just watch you. You gut contracts, and you aren't sure if what you are feeling is fear or longing.

You bet on the last one.

"Hmm… yeah… So, Bia, I just stopped by. I can't stay for dinner."

He turns his eyes to his sister.

"Like this?" she snaps. "I've barely seen you since I got back from my trip."

“I'm sorry, but I have an appointment."

"I don't believe it, Jonnie. What do you have to do now that you can't wait an hour or two?"

He glances at you out of the corner of his eye, looking tense, when his sister calls out to him by the nickname.

"I…" he begins.

“Stay, Namjoon,” You interrupt him. He doesn't bother to look at you. "I'll have to... meet my brother in half an hour, and Taehyung made a lot of food. It would be wasteful."

"Oh no, Y/n," objects Bea. “You promised me first."

“Bea,” Namjoon and you said in unison.

He stares at you for a moment and, for once, doesn't look furious with you. You look away, blushing.

“Bea,” he begins again, less irritated now. "I'll come here another time, okay?"

"All right. Go there and take care of your super important business and leave your only sister here. A sister, by the way, who had her dog mutilated and still hasn't heard a single word on the subject."

"Stop the drama. Hair grows back,” he grumbles.

“But I liked them the way they were. And what is that blue stain in Yeotan's jaw?"

"Done!" Announces Taehyung, entering the room with a plate of something that smells really good. "Hey, how are you, Namjoon?"

He just gives his brother-in-law a nod.

“Please, Namjoon, stay!" Whispers Bea.

But his attention is on you. He looks at you with contempt again, and that's why you are so surprised when he says: “I think this dinner might be interesting." And joins Taehyung.

Bea chats about pleasantries with you, and you respond automatically, attentive to Namjoon's every move out of the corner of your eye. Alexia didn't come with him, but you are familiar with Beatriz's dislike of her sister-in-law, so it's not like he's taking a break from his girlfriend.

Shortly after, you sit down at the table, you are between Namjoon and Taehyung, who, very kind, serves you a generous plate, something alarming given his history in culinary. Not that you would be able to swallow anything but wine. Your stomach is collapsing, and you dread throwing up on the linen towel at any moment.

"Isn't it incredible that my neighbor works with my brother, and I don't know that?" Bea comments, taking a bold bite of a slice of tomato.

"Not so much if you knew the whole story," Namjoon grumbles, eyes on dish.

"How so?" she wants to know.

"Nothing."

Bea glances from you to Namjoon, her brow furrows. Taehyung notices the tension that surrounds you and changed the subject, talking about the many places that he has shown Bea in his homeland. It's a blessing, as you can stare at him, and pretend Namjoon doesn't exist.

"More wine?" Taehyung offers you in the middle of the conversation.

"Yes please."

"Aren't you going to taste the food?" And he fills your glass.

“Of course, Tae." You force yourself to spear a vegetable and chew it.

Shit, it's delicious!

"What do you think?" Tae speculates anxiously.

You take a few sips of wine before answering, but...

“Your track record isn't the best, Y/n. I don't think I should drink so much" Namjoon warns. "Since you're with a committed man."

His words dig into your chest and lodge there, killing everything around at once. But hearing it confirm what you already suspected makes something bubble inside of you.

"When did I really give you permission to meddle in my life? I can't remember..."

"It was just a warning," he counters in a low voice.

“I don't need your warnings. Save it for someone who really listens to them."

He snorts. “You know, I still don't understand how I could have been so wrong with you. Just needs to pay a little more attention to realize what kind of person you are."

“Maybe it's the cataract's fault." You skewered a slice of eggplant. "Old men suffer a lot from this. Especially senile ones like you."

One of the corners of his lips curled up slightly, but the smile doesn't come to fruition."

"And the ratatouille, Y/n?" Tae asks.

"And they suffer from the loss of lucidity too, don't forget," Namjoon adds.

"That too," You agree. “And hair loss, although a lot of people don't mind it. And teeth. Do you already wear dentures, Jonnie?"

He squares his shoulders, growing taller and more imposing in the chair by your side.

"Why are you here?" He asks bluntly.

"Because Bea invited me."

"Did you know I was coming? You're chasing me, is that it?"

You laugh, though nothing there amuses you. “Look, I didn't want to be the one to tell you this, but you're already a little senile."

He narrows his eyes, and for a second you think he's going to yell at you, which, on second thought, would be much better than that studied indifference.

“In case you haven't noticed,” You go on, “I'm home. Well, I'm in my building. It was you who showed up in my territory."

“I think I finally got the seasoning right,” Tae says anxiously. "Or not?"

Namjoon smiles in that cynical way you hate. “I had forgotten what a good actress that you are."

“And I'd forgotten what an asshole you are." You swallowed the rest of your wine and turns to Taehyung. "More please."

"Yes sure. But please tell me if I got the recipe right. It seems that for the first time I managed to cook something decent."

You are ready to tell Tae that he has cooked something really tasty this time, but Namjoon opens his mouth, diverting your attention.

“I sincerely hope this is the last time I have to put up with your presence."

"I say the same," You counter. "Maybe I'm the crazy one here, at the end of the day you are arrogant, rude, grumpy, bad neighbor, a cretin boss and a complete imbecile without a drop of discernment. I don't know where I was with my head when I thought I loved you."

"What?" Bea asks, dropping the silverware.

"Yeah, you described me right," Namjoon scoffs. "I'm all that, but you know what I'm not, Y/n? An idiot who believes the sweet words that

come out of the mouth of a traitor."

"Wait a second! What conversation is this? Did you get involved?" Bea demands.

"No!" Namjoon and you answer at the same time.

“Just being crazy to get involved with your brother." You turn to him. "I could stay here talking all night that nothing is going to get into that big head of yours, so I won't waste my time justifying myself. By the way, never again I will waste time with you. Today was the last time. Are you happy with your life, isn't it? I must not get involved in it. And I won't! I hope that one day you will discover the truth and repent of everything you said."

He's looking at you with a dangerous glint in his brown eyes, which you prefer to ignore.

"I've found out the truth!" He says through clenched teeth.

"Oh, you didn't even come close!" You retaliate. "For starters, you need to point that snobbish finger of yours at the right people. You were right in one thing, they are really sabotaging your magazine, but you suspected the wrong person."

You stand up, your pants pocket tangles up against the back of the chair, hindering your majestic exit. Shit! “Thanks for dinner, Bea. Taehyung, everything was wonderful." But the praise does not seem to be heard, because the couple stares at you open-mouthed. "Goodnight."

You march towards the door but turn around before leaving. Namjoon stares at you without moving a single muscle.

“Oh, and you were wrong about one more thing, Namjoon. Captain America easily blasts Iron Man. I searched. There is a HQ with the fight of the two. It's old, but you should know where to get one if you don't believe me."

He arches his eyebrows in surprise. Okay, you don't know why you bring up that silly subject. You guess you just wanted to make it clear how his assumptions are wrong. Or maybe you just want to invoke the memory of that perfect weekend in his teenage bedroom. Or you simply wish you were as powerful as Captain America and have a super-powerful shield that would protect you from his aggression.

You go home but stop with your hand on the doorknob as you hear the hoarse groans that come from inside the apartment. You roll your eyes and pat your pockets, finding your phone and car keys. You aren't going to stand there waiting for Sabrina and Seokjin to finish what they are doing. Namjoon could see you there in the hallway and think that you are “chasing” him, as he accused a little earlier.

A committed man. His voice ricochets through your head like a pinball, making you nauseous.

On the street, you decide that you'll go to the only place that at that moment feels like home.

"Hobi, are you naked?" You ask over the phone, starting at your car.

"What? No! But what kind of question is this?"

"Can I spend the night there…please?"

"Sure, why?"

“I just…want to be close to you."

Because at that moment, all you need is someone who really loves you.

At times like these, do you feel grateful to have a family, even if it's weird. You don't tell your brother anything about recent events —no there's no point in inciting him to beat up Namjoon, if only because you suspect that Namjoon would be the one to beat Hobi— but somehow, he noticed that something is wrong and does everything to cheer you up. Of course, he tries to find out what made you ask for a lap, and you tell only part of the truth: Sabrina is at home, getting back together with her boyfriend, and you want to give some privacy to the couple.

“What about my privacy? You do not care?" he asks, scratching the injured elbow.

"Of course, I do! So, I called to let you know I was coming. I don't want to see you naked ever again. yuck! I started having nightmares."

He laughs out loud, making Lorena blush at the embarrassing memory and rush to the kitchen to get more drinks.

Later, you make yourself comfortable on the sofa bed in the living room, and it isn't even as bad as it seems. But you can't sleep a wink. You hope Namjoon would listen to you and investigate the sabotage. He's a much better journalist than you are, and if he knew where to look, he would find what he needs to get the magazine out of the choke at once. It's all you want from him, to listen to you and save his job and the ones of your former colleagues.

Well, at least that's what you try to tell yourself. He hurt you in so many levels that you don't know what to feel anymore. Pain, hate, rancor and what makes you very angry, is that you miss him. You head is just a mess. Why the hell could you still not erase him from your heart? Why did you let he come in there in the first place?

Hoseok and Lorena are happy. Sabrina at this point is much more than happy. Apparently, everyone has their happy ending in sight. Except you. This must be what Vanda had been referring to when she said something worse could happen. Seeing everyone happy and being the only one to fall apart is a curse. And pretending it is nothing for Hobi has never worked, so in the morning, before he can pressure you to find out what really happened, you help Lorena prepare breakfast and get out of there quickly.

Your phone vibrates in your jeans pocket as you enter a busy Avenue.

"Darling, are you okay?" asks Grandma Cecilia's distressed voice.

"I am, grandma. Good morning."

“Don't lie to me, Y/n."

“Sometimes I wonder if anyone has ever managed to lie to you."

“Your mother and you always try. You have so much of her, so much of me also... Now tell me what's going on."

"Did you see in the cards that I'm in trouble?"

Okay, after everything that has happened, you ended up changing your ways to face certain things, especially mysticism.

“Troubled isn't quite the word. But I saw problems, darling. Big and dangerous. Where are you?"

"In the car. I'm going home." You stop at the traffic light and adjusts the phone between the ear and the shoulder.

"I saw your magazine. I was a little weirded out by your last zodiac reading."

"Yeah... I decided to follow your advice. I ended up with what I started without wanting. I undid the zodiac spell. But in the process, I lost my job, trust of the man I love... and the man himself."

"What do you mean 'undo the spell'?"

You tell her how you had managed to end the magic, how you had managed to make everything go back to the way it was before and the whole fight with Namjoon after that.

"Y/n! Why did you do such a stupid thing?" She scolds, annoyed, and you almost dropped the phone on the floor. "I knew you were going to ruin everything! I saw it happen. Someone should forbid you to control your own life. You don't know what to do with it."

You roll your eyes, the traffic light opens, and you accelerate, putting the car in movement.

"Oh, grandma, that's not possible. When I was messing with all that magic, you were mad at me, now that I fixed things you are mad with me. What do you expect from me anyway?"

"A little common sense! Do you really believe an old deck have the power to manipulate people's fate?"

You blink once. You almost hit the back of a glistening Range Rover so new.

"Don't you?" You manage to ask.

"Of course not! This story of Romani Magdalena is nothing but legend. How could you fall into such talk? I always warned you about charlatans. Never believe someone who charges for the service."

"But, grandma, I changed people's lives!"

"Maybe, but not because of the deck, but because these people heard what you said, followed your advice. There's nothing of sorcery about listening to advice."

“You didn't understand. Everything I wrote there really happened and..."

"Don't be silly!" She cuts you. "I'll ask Vladimir to take me to your house. Wait for me there. We'll have a serious talk, young lady!"

You must be really in trouble if Grandma Cecilia intends to leave her place. She almost never comes to town.

“Uh… it's fine."

“And Y/n, be careful. I don't like what I saw in the cards this morning."

"I'll be," You mutter, flustered.

"See? That's how it works! What are you going to do from now on it's your decision. Only yours. I just advise and say what I see. Understand the difference?"

"I- I..."

“Be careful,” She warns again, before hanging up.

Oh my God, can it be possible? Did you do it all wrong again? All right, no panic. What Grandma said makes sense, a lot more than to believe your zodiac is bewitched. But what about all those people? And Sabrina? And your story with Namjoon? A little confused, you decide to stop at the gas station, so you won't risk running over anyone. You go to the convenience store and order a latte. The little shop is small and not full. The freezers full of drinks, the shelves in the center are a jumble of snacks and sweets.

Grandma's words—and Jungkook's—scream through your mind, and you try to ignore them as best as you can. You drum your fingers on the counter as you wait, until reason win you over and you pick up the phone.

She answers on the third ring.

"Yeah! Sorry to disturb. Is everything ok there?"

"Everything. I was worried. Where did you spend the night?"

"At Hobi's. I thought you two needed some privacy. Everything worked out?"

“More than right. I mean, for now. I still haven't fully forgiven Seokjin. I'll make him break out in a cold sweat for a few days. Ah, Namjoon knocked here last night."

"He did?! What did he want?"

"To talk to you. Said he'll be here another time, or else he'll call you."

Oh my God! What did that visit mean? Did he want to apologize? Is there a possibility that something you have said at dinner has turned out to have some effect and is he willing to listen to you at all? Or did he just want to interrogate you to find out who's setting him up?

You shake your head, returning to the more immediate problem.

"Sa, I was here thinking about last Saturday, when you came back home... It was because of the last zodiac, wasn't it? From what it said in the magazine?"

“I didn't get to read this one. I have decided that I will never read a zodiac again in my life."

OH. My. GOD!

"So... so... why did you come home?"

“Because I realized how foolish I was to believe that a zodiac could have changed my life. Bewitched or not, it wasn't your fault."

You sink down onto the stool, closing your eyes.

Shit! What did you do?!

You tricked Namjoon into thinking you're a traitor, and why? Consequence, allowing him to get back together with his ex-girlfriend. You lost your job for the frame's fault. You believed that magic really existed. You couldn't be dumber even if you even tried.

"Are you okay, Y/n?" Her voice sounds distant in your ear.

"No, Sa," You moan helplessly. "I think I made the biggest mistake of my life!"

"All right. I don't understand anything but calm down. Where are you?"

"At a gas station downtown."

“Come home and tell me what's going on. Who knows I can help you with something, Seokjin is still sleeping, but I made him breakfast. Very golden toasted bread, as you love."

"OK. I'll be there in twenty minutes."

At least you thought you would.

You go to the cashier, still anesthetized, wanting to kick your ass for having been so stupid and irreversibly ruining the best relationship you ever had, throwing the man you love right into the arms of his ex. You lost your confidence, his admiration, and knowing that hurts almost as much as thinking that Namjoon might have really loved you at some point.

And you still managed to get fired without ever writing a story. You really doubt Namjoon would give you a letter of recommendation, which it would be very difficult to find a new position. You have little money in the bank, and it has to cover the car repair checks, the day-to-day expenses. And your grandmother is coming to town with the sole purpose of talking to you.

Misfortunes always come in pairs, that's what they say.

That's why, all that whirlwind of information in your mind that you don't see the danger approaching. You didn't know you were about to cover your first real news story. Nor that, contrary to all rules of the profession, you would be the protagonist.

Author note: I really have so much fun writing their arguments.

Feedback is always appreciated.

Ⓒ 2022 Sugarushsuga, do not copy, translate or repost.

[sugarushsuga]

In Your Own Words Ch. 4

Genre: Rom-Com, fluff with bits of angst - Coworkers!AU; enemies to lovers; Journalist!AU

Paring: RM x Reader

Words count: 6.109

Warnings: Cursing; Drinking; Mentions of sex; Romani culture; Namjoon's ass; Namjoon's dimples; Namjoon's broad chest; Namjoon;

Synopsis: After graduating your dream was to become a journalist and work to one of the biggest magazines in the country. But that pretty dream does not translate perfectly to reality. The magazine is on verge of bankruptcy, great journalists are moving the rival magazines and not being replaced, your boss is a jerk who doesn't even know your name. Fate seems to be toying you around to its own pleasure, can you take control of your life and achieve your dreams, or you are going to be carried away by fate's plans?

Author note: This fanfic follows the world of the Brazilian production Procura-se um marido series. I do not own the series or original content.

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Your head throbs against the soft sheet. You take a deep breath and don't recognize the smell of the sheets. You force your eyes open and... Fuck!

Where does all this light come from? You bury your head in the pillow, covering your eyes with your arm as something pokes at your brain. You try again, looking around to get your surroundings. Where the hell are you?

The room decorated in shades of brown and cream is unfamiliar to you. Then, you turn slowly and comes face to face with a wall. For a moment you get lost in the muscles on that broad back, Defined and flexed in a way that you ever thought only photoshop could do, God, who is this man?

You try to get up on your elbows to get a peek at his face, but your head feels full of water, heavy and shaking, to the point where it can burst at minimum pressure. You collapse back on the mattress, your mouth dry, your stomach churning like a centrifuge. The throbs to the head making you want to throw up, and sure there is something wrong with your ears. It's like an amplifier two hundred of thousand watts was connected to the eardrum.

The man besides, you take a deep breath and shifts to his back, stomach up and giving you the chance to see his profile.

Your mouth drops open.

Oh. My. God. What did you do?

He opens his eyes, sees you and smiles sleepily. You are paralyzed with horror, trying to wake up from that nightmare or wishing you are someone else. His arm crawls under the sheets, snuggling into you like a sly cat. You still can't move, just breath and blink and you are very impressed that your brain is still able to send precise commands to the body. For a moment you think that it is disconnected from the rest of you, as you aren't even able to close your mouth.

A strong, toned arm wraps around your waist. There is nothing between his warm skin and yours. The tip of something hard, big, thick, and smooth like velvet nudge your hip. That's when you jump out of bed.

"What's it?" Namjoon asks, lifting his torso and leaning on an elbow. He scrutinizes you closely, his eyes sliding down your naked body.

"Don't look at me!" You pull the sheets off the bed, feeling all the blood rise to your face. You wrap yourself in the fabric, a little clumsy from the embarrassment and haste.

However, by covering yourself, you end up exposing Namjoon.

Holy crap!

You can't take your eyes off him no matter how hard you try and... Ah, like you are even trying. But how can you look away after seeing, completely dumbfounded—and very, very angry—his naked body on the bed. How did he hide all that? Okay, not Namjoon is not ugly, the shirts don't fit him well, they only suggested broad shoulders still you thought he was a little thin. But the body right in front of you is nothing thin and is definitely much more than a good physique. Broad shoulders and shapely, sculpted chest, flat and defined abs to perfection, and, going down a little more, you come across the... Wow!

He has the decency, little too late, to cover with the pillow what had so caught your attention. You finally understand what Alexia has seen in him.

“What did we do?" You ask in a thin voice, holding the sheets tighter around your body.

He scratches his head and shoots you a startled look. “Hmm… It seems kind of obvious, Y/n."

At least this time he got your name right, you console yourself. "No! We can't have done... it!"

"Why not?" He is still looking at you in that weird way.

"Because... because... Because we work together! You just got out of a relationship, and I'm interested in a guy and... You're my boss, by the way. By the love of God! Also, I would remember if we had... if we had done it. And I don't remember!"

"Anything?" His eyebrows rise.

The lack of those horrible glasses is unsettling to you. Why doesn't he put that mask on his face so you can feel safe again? Namjoon is a lot more handsome than you'd realized. It is as if there are two of him. One normal and annoying, and the other hot as hell. Like the Doctor and the Monster. Or Superman and Clark Kent. hmmm... funny, you always liked the reporter better.

Shaking your head in an attempt to unscramble your thoughts. “I remember some things, but not this." You point at his body and then yours.

“What do you remember?'

He sits on the bed but keeps the pillow over his lap. Closing your eyes, you try to think so you don't get distracted by the muscles flexed in his abdomen.

"Hmm... We came here after you paid the bar bill." you start.

"Right."

"And we drank more here. Then we started dancing. But I think that we didn't even have music."

“We didn't."

"Then someone suggested that we should dance naked..."

“You suggested it,” he points out.

You open your eyes. He is smiling. Oh my God! It is whole smile, with teeth and eyes and that made that almost perpetual frown disappears between his eyebrows and two adorable dimples appear on his cheeks.

“Whatever,” you concede. “I suggested we dance naked. I started taking off my clothes while balancing the tequila bottle on my forehead. Ew, I don't even like tequila!" You grimace.

“Oh yes, I remember that too. It was funny.” He laughs lightly but stops as soon as he sees your face. “Maybe it wasn't all that funny."

“After that…” You drop your shoulders, defeated. "Nothing more."

He frowns, seeming to concentrate. "I think we jumped in bed like two kids, just in our underwear..."

"Oh, yeah..." You are vaguely remembering what he is saying. "Thank God, there is still hope! So that was it!" You say, clinging to the only lifesaving line you find. "Maybe we're exhausted after so much dancing and jumping and passed out in bed without anything else happening. Seriously speaking Namjoon, we were too drunk to have done anything else besides passing out."

"It could be that..."

"Nothing happened between us," You decide, interrupting him and letting your body fall on the mattress, exhaling heavily, even though you don't quite understand how your lingerie is gone. "It would have been terrible if we had... hmm... Have you ever thought how embarrassing it would be? Casual sex for definition, happens with someone you won't see again, not with someone who works with you. Especially if he's your boss."

"Glad nothing happened," he agrees, a little embarrassed.

"It's a relief!" Still wrapped in the sheets, you start to gather your clothes that are scattered through the room. Your bra hangs like a flag on the doorknob to what you expect to be the bathroom.

And it is so you lock yourself in there and hurry to get decent. Damn it! Where's your panties? You pull the dress over your head and tie the belt in a whatever way. You rest your hands on the sink and takes few deep breaths, trying to calm your pulse. you wash your face and take the opportunity to swallow a good amount of water, anxious to get rid of the desert feeling in your mouth. Drying your face on the soft towel and staring in the mirror, hoping to find some type of green zombie with huge dark circles. You don't miss by much. Your hair is a mess, and you try to untangle it with your fingers, but it is full of knots and, the more you try, the worse they get. You pull the threads back with the intention of tying it up, but then you stop, astonished. An almost round and purple mark, right at the junction of the neck and collarbone, it seemed to glow neon in the mirror.

"Oh no!"

Suddenly an image, a flash of something you don't want to remember, fills your throbbing head. Namjoon was saying something into your neck, you laughed, and he teased you, biting the delicious shape on the base of your neck, pressing his body even more against yours, going deeper, making you moan and pull his bare ass with more strength against your core, wanting to receive everything he...

"Shit!" You mutter, letting go of your hair and hiding the hickey with it.

You walk out of the bathroom having no idea how to tell Namjoon that you not only had fucked, apparently you really enjoyed it a lot.

He is crouched beside the bed, his ass round and fitted inside his jeans facing you.

"Namjoon..."

He straightens up in a flash, immediately bringing his left hand to his back pocket, but before he can hide it, you can see the small black foil packaging with the golden dragon stamped, torn in the middle. He already knows.

"What's it?" he asks, looking worried. The glasses are back. You suppress relief sigh.

"It's just that... I... What did you find there?" It will be easier if he begins. No, it won't be easier. It will be less embarrassing.

"Nothing important," he replies. “Just a business card that fell out of my pocket yesterday while we... danced."

You stare at him for what feels like an entire century. He does not intend to pretend that you hadn't had sex? He knows what you have done and won't tell you anything? Even though you already know, he doesn't know it. How can this bastard not tell you such a thing? How does he dare?!

"Are you sure it is some kind of business card?" You press.

“It's the phone number of a possible sponsor."

Ah yes. Maybe Jointex is interested in placing an ad in a women's magazine...

Straightening your shoulders and willing to not continue being humiliated by him, you say: "I need to go."

"Don't you want to eat something first?" he offers, rather awkwardly, but seeming to want to play the gentle lover. As if that is possible... The guy fucked you and doesn't have the decency to tell you! "Can I ask for room service."

"You don't need to." You bent down and pick up your bag, which is inside an open drawer. "So, just to be clear, last night never existed."

"Never existed." He nods briefly, staring at you.

You wait for him to change his mind and own up to what had happened between you both, but the bastard remains silent, his hands in the pockets of his jeans. Furious, you march towards the door and walks out, not slamming it once you go through. It is enough to give him reasons to mock you. It will be hell to have to look at his face on Monday, but you will survive. Who knows, he might have indigestion from the hotel's coffee and need to stay hospitalized for a year or two?

Yeah, and who knows, you might as well find Santa on the sidewalk handing out Easter eggs.

You slam the door hard as you walk into your apartment. You are so angry that you could set your own shoes on fire—with you in them! - if that can make Namjoon suffer in some way. you throw your bag on the couch and collapses on it. Sabrina appears wrapped in her bath towel, her hair still dripping, and her mouth covered in white foam.

"Someone got lucky last night..." she grumbles, stopping to brush her teeth for a second.

"You have no idea what happened!" Restless, you get on your feet and goes straight to the tiny kitchen. You open the old blue fridge and takes out a can of soda in an attempt to get rid of the nausea caused by the hangover.

Sabrina follows you, spitting white foam into the kitchen sink and rinsing her mouth right there.

"It wasn't good?"

"Good?" You take a sip of your soda before answering. The gas making your eyes water. "It was horrible! My boss doesn't want me to know that I had sex with him."

She frowns. "Why would your boss have any interest in your personal life? Jungkook is a freelancer, not an employee of the magazine. This is not about Namjoon."

“Sabrina.” You stare at her. "My boss doesn't want me to know that I had sex with him!"

"I already heard it. And it's comical to say the least! How could he want you to not know you had sex with Jungkook? This is the kind of thing girls always know..."

"Not always. But you still don't understand. I didn't have sex with Jungkook, Sa. It was with Namjoon!" You explain in a cry. "My boss doesn't want me to know that I had sex with him, my boss, Namjoon Kim."

She widens her eyes. "What?"

"I know!"

You go back to the living room and throw yourself on the couch again. Soda splashing on the dress, but neither Sabrina nor you care.

“Eeeeeee… look.” She sits down next to you. "I don't understand anything, but it's kind of ridiculous that Namjoon doesn't want you to know he's had sex with you. You were there, weren't you?"

"Yeah, but I was really drunk and didn't remember much when I woke up. Then that son of a bitch took advantage of it."

"From your drinking?" she wants to know, horrified.

"Oh no. He was drunk too. I think even more than I was. he took advantage of my lapse of memory because of the hangover. Then I remembered everything. Or almost everything. The parts that matter, at least."

“Okay, breathe and start again." She grabs your shoulders and shakes you lightly. “You went out to meet Jungkook."

"I did, but he had a last-minute work call the kitchen of the government palace exploded and he had to run there."

“Okay, he stood you up. And how did Namjoon get into this story?"

“Namjoon happens to be staying at the hotel where I was going to have dinner with Jungkook. He found me a little pissed off at the bar, because Jimin showed up there with his fiancée,” you say.

"Jimin is getting married?!"

"Yes. The woman must have about two meters of legs and straight hair like an Indian. She said they met last month. Last month, Sa! He came after me at that time. He's an asshole!"

“I never thought he was anything else.” She shakes her head. "But, going back to the story, Jimin showed up there with his fiancée and..."

"And then I got bad, and a little later Namjoon showed up, and he's also enjoying a heart break, because his girlfriend kicked him out. We started drinking vodka..."

“Two broken hearts and vodka." She clicks her tongue. "A terrible combination!"

"It is. I woke up this morning in his room. Both of us naked. And then the bastard pretended he didn't have sex with me!"

"Maybe he doesn't remember." She tries to comfort you. "You said he was very drunk, and you didn't remember right away."

You shake your head, and it isn't a good idea. You brain seems to have the consistency of jello.

“He found the condom wrapper,” you tell her. "Oh, he remembers. He knows!"

"What a jerk!"

"That's what I'm saying! I can't believe I had sex with him. He is my boss, damn it!" And you throw yourself against the back of the couch, covering your face with your forearm.

"Hard one! so? What's he like?"

You snort. "Oh, Sabrina, do I know?"

“So, it was bad. If it had been good, you would remember."

You drop your arm into your lap and look at her. “I'm not sure about that. I was drunk. And you know what's worse?" You straighten up a little, facing her. "He's a fraud! A complete fraud! You look at him and what you see is a pair of nerd glasses, disheveled hair, and ridiculous ties. But it's all facade! Suddenly the guy takes off his clothes and glasses and transforms, he has a body of a god and the biggest... I've ever seen."

"Oh, yes?" She shifts on the couch, holding the towel wrapped around her body, curiosity stamps her delicate face. "And what else?"

"He's has a six pack! Really, one full of buds, like a pile of mini hamburger buns that make you want to lick. How does Namjoon, Namjoon! Has a six pack like that?"

That is what pisses you off the most. Namjoon was a complete geek and didn't even try to hide it. Nerds, geeks, or any other species of the genre do not have a six pack is completely against the rules. It is the same as buttering your shoes and putting it on.

Unthinkable. Inconceivable. Revolting!

“He must work out,” you friend argues. "Surely he must spend hours at the gym pumping iron."

"And the ass? You needed to see the dimples that... Argh!" You sink to your head in your hands. "Look at me! It's about my boss's ass that I'm talking, damn it! I hate Namjoon even more for making me think about his ass."

Sabrina laughs. “To tell you the truth, I always thought Namjoon was really hot."

You roll your eyes. “He's the biggest jerk that ever walked this planet."

“A really hot jerk,” she insists.

"A jerk who doesn't want me to know he fucked me!"

"Again, you realize how ridiculous that sounds, don't you?"

“This whole situation is ridiculous!" you admit. "But if he wants to pretend that nothing happened, so it's ok. I will do the same. Actually, I would really like to fulfill his wish and not know that I went to bed with him."

"What about Jungkook?"

You groan again, lifting your head.

"He'll think I'm the biggest hoe when he finds out what I've done." you grumble.

Sabrina hugs you. "And what right does he have to think anything? He is not your boyfriend nor your date. You don't owe him any satisfaction about your life. And he stood you up anyway."

"He had to cover a story!"

"Stood up!" she insists seriously.

"Fine!" You roll your eyes. “He stood me up. Happy now?"

"Not really. I wanted you to be happy, or that at least you had had fun." She clicks her tongue, grimacing. "I knew that I couldn't let you go alone. You always do everything wrong! Casual sex is supposed to fun and crazy, shouldn't cause you trouble. You won't go out alone to drink anymore. Who knows what you might do next time? Marry a madman?"

“I don't doubt it. So, what are you going to do today?" She stands up, adjusting the towel around her body.

"I'm going to the mall to see how the work is going. I still can't believe I got this account! It's a hell of a job, and they trusted my work. You're really good at fortune telling."

"It's a zodiac," you correct. “And I'm not good at all. You are a fantastic professional. It was merit, not magic."

“Maybe so, but you got it right again."

You go to the shower, then take two aspirins, but I don’t feel any better. Too restless and irritated. It doesn’t help much that memories of the previous night began to become clearer. You wonder happened to your common sense when you agreed to go to Namjoon's room. With all the man in the planet, he is the last one you could imagine sharing a crazy night of sex.

You end up dozing off on the couch most of the afternoon, and around six o'clock you cross the hallway to say goodbye to Taehyung and Beatriz. The apartment is all organized, and Tae, hidden under a pile of suitcases.

"How long are you going to stay out? Ten years?" You ask in same moment Yeotan jumps on your leg. You caress his head, and he rolls onto his back.

"I told her," Taehyung laughs. "But Beatriz doesn't believe there are stores of clothes there."

Bea rolled her eyes. "You never know what I'm going to need, I have to be prepared. I was just on my way to your apartment. There is a small change of plans. I won't have to bother you... too much," she adds apprehensive. "My brother and his wife fought. He's going to stay here for a while, and he offered to take care of Yeotan. But I wanted to ask you a favor. Jonnie is closed up, you know? Not much of a talker, keeps his feelings to himself. He looks fine, he swore he is fine, but I don't know. I am worried about him. It would it be too much if I asked you to take a look on it from time to time?"

"I don't think he's going to like being babysat, Bea."

“I know, that's why I thought you'd use Yeotan as an excuse. You can come see if he's ok and stuff. Can you do that, Y/n? He knows I don't trust him enough to leave Yeotan unsupervised. I warned him that you are going to come by to make sure he doesn't let my baby stave to death."

You have no intention of babysitting anyone, but you know what it is like to have a brother who doesn't talk much. One that never says how he really feels. Although a bit reluctant, you end up accepting the mission.

"Fine. I'll pop in every now and then to see how he and Yeotan are doing."

Perfect! My brother will meet us at the airport to pick up the keys and then go pack his things to come here tomorrow. Can Yeotan sleep with you today, right?"

“Of course, Bea."

"Oh, Y/n, you're the best! And, you know, I'll tell you that, despite being worried, I'm a little relieved about Jonnie’s breakup. Looks like he'll finally have a chance to be happy."

“He must be devastated, Bea,” you say.

“It doesn't look like it, but that's the problem with my brother. He never shows what he feels. I spoke to him almost now. He went on a drinking spree yesterday woke up with the biggest hangover. Looks like he went out with a friend threw everything up in the air. You will like him. Jonnie is fun and a very nice person. Thinking about..." She looks at you from head to toe, smiling in a mischievous way that you don't like at all. “You two really match. You're still single, right? Was yesterday's date just... a random date?"

“I was stood up.” You shrug.

"Wonderful!" She claps her hands.

"Bea!" Taehyung calls her out, adjusting the handles of the suitcases in a way he could carry them all.

"Oh, sorry, Y/n," she hurries. "But you just got dumped, didn't you?"

“Actually, I kicked him—”

“Whatever,” she cut you off, excited. "The important thing is that my brother also ended a story and..."

"And in two broken hearts the flame of love can bloom" Taehyung jokes.

"That!" she agrees. "Just wait until you meet Jonnie. You'll love my brother as soon as you set your eyes on him."

Sabrina is still asleep when someone rings the doorbell. Yeotan jumps on you, barking hysterically, then jumps out of bed and continues with his morning tantrum to your closed bedroom door. You understand him. Who knocks on someone's door before noon on a Sunday? it is probably Jonnie who came to get the puppy. You get out of bed muttering, you toss the egg-yellow bathrobe with black stripes on the sleeves your brother had given it to you last month—Hoseok got it at the gym where he works—and opens the bedroom door. Yeotan bolts into the room, his barking so high that it echoes through the whole apartment. It doesn’t help much that Bea's brother keeps ringing the bell.

"I'm coming!" You yell in a bad mood, even so the person continues pressing the button, causing Yeotan to throw a fit fit of a pop star. "God dammit! I already heard!"

You open the door angrily. Your eyes widen.

"I'm not pressing, I think the button is stuck..."

You slam the door closed. Yeotan keeps barking and the damn bell keeps on screaming.

“Shut up,” you plead the little dog, while trying to breathe slowly. What is Namjoon doing here?

"Y/n?" comes the muffled voice.

Shiiiiiiiiiiiiit!

You run your hands through your hair trying to tame it, rubs your eyes and ties the robe belt. This is not how you want him to see you after what had happened. Not that you care about what he thinks of you...so no problems. All you want to know is what the hell he is doing here.

"Namjoon." you flash a cold smile as you open the door again.

"I thought it was you." He lifts his glasses with his index finger, looking embarrassed. "How are you?"

"It depends. What are you doing here?" You give a few punches on the doorbell switch. With a strange groan, the screaming ceases. Yeotan continues his show.

“I'm going to live here for a while." He pointed to the open door of Beatriz's apartment.

"You're Bea's brother!" It isn't a question. It is a sentence of announcement of your death.

“And you're the neighbor who's going to babysit me,” he jokes.

"I guess so."

You bent down to pick up Yeotan and try to get him to stop barking. It works for about eight seconds. As Namjoon studies the little dog, his eyes get bigger and bigger behind the lens.

“For God's sake, tell me this isn't Yeotan."

“No. Not this. Is Yeotan. Say hi to Uncle Jonnie,” you scoff, picking up the dog's paw and shaking it lightly.

Namjoon's cheeks redden at the nickname.

"I'm going to kill Beatriz," he mutters. "And I'm not going to take care of it this!"

"Oh, yes you will. You promised your sister. she left me in charge to check that Yeotan is being treated well. I'll have to tell on you if you don't take good care of him."

"But he's a Pomeranian! How am I going to go walk on the street with that?"

“The same way you would go out with your dog. He's just furry, Namjoon."

"It's a Pomeranian!" he repeats, as if that explained everything.

"I'm pretty sure it's still not possible to do race swaps in laboratory. I think it's best to accept is as soon as possible he's a Pomeranian." It makes him laugh, and those tiny crescents appears on his cheeks.

"So, you're not funny just when you're drunk." He sticks his hands in jeans pockets.

You blush. Friday night is the last thing you expect him to mention. You lower your eyes to his chest, staring at the shirt with the print of a fat ghost wedged into a red forbidden symbol.

"I don't think so," you mutter, handing Yeotan to him.

He holds it with only one hand and tucks it under his arm, like a pack of beer. "So, we'll be neighbors," he comments.

You are sure you have been a bad, very, very bad person in another life. Only then you would be able to accept that Namjoon, your arrogant rude, disheveled boss, who took you to bed and didn't tell you, is going to live in apartment opposite of yours.

"Is what it seems."

"Well... we'll see you around."

"See you."

You close the door and leans against it. Despicable asshole! Not one word about what happened on Friday. Men really are worthless. And that includes Jungkook, who stood you up. The one to blame for what happened between you and Namjoon.

"What scandal was that?" Sabrina appears, yawning, her blond hair pointing in different directions.

"Bea's brother came to get Yeotan."

"And why do you have that face? You can see Yeotan whenever you want." She goes into the kitchen to make breakfast.

"Because Bea's brother, that Jonnie, is Namjoon," you follow.

"Which Namjoon?"

"Sabrina! How many Namjoon’s do I know?"

"Oh my God!" She drops a spoonful of dark powder on the sink. "What did you do in your past life, Y/n?"

“I was wondering the same thing. I don't want to have to see Namjoon every day after work. I don't even want to see him during working hours!"

"How come you never knew that Namjoon was Bea's brother?"

"I don’t know. She always says my brother this, Jonnie that…” you take the sponge on the sink and starts to clean up the mess. "The guy never comes here. And she never mentioned that her brother worked at a magazine."

"And does she know you work at a magazine?"

"I'm not sure. I mentioned it once or twice but I'm not sure if she really listened. Beatriz is a wonderful person, but she and Taehyung match much more than it seems. She's got her head in the Stock Exchange cloud, and don't really listen to what people say."

“Then I will call it an unfortunate coincidence.” Sabrina laughs.

“And I will call it karma."

You make some toast to settle your stomach, which is sated by the monster hangover from previous day, while Sabrina tells you about her thing with Seokjin. You hear part but ends up getting distracted by the barking dog across the hall. For a moment you hate Alexia kicking Namjoon out and with that forcing you to see him more than your sanity allows.

You shake your head and returns your attention to your friend. She is a little sulked this morning. Seokjin, also known as Prince Charming, won't be able to see her on Sunday. You are a little surprised to find out that she has that kind of expectation with someone she'd known for two weeks.

“I'm going to visit my grandmother later,” you tell her. "If you want, you can come with me."

"You just saved my Sunday!" She hugs you tightly. "You know I love visiting your grandmother."

"But you'll have to promise not to ask her to tell your fortunes."

"Promise. But if she wants to read it, I can't say no, right? Would be very impolite to refuse."

You roll your eyes. You grandmother always managed to tell everyone's fortunes. She can't resist taking a look at the fates of others, likes to know what the letters, coffee grounds, or the palm of someone's hand has to say. It is like a cosmic Facebook for her.

After Sabrina and you have cleaned up the house, you hit the road and in less than an hour, you are already parking at your grandmother's place. Like every Sunday, all your uncles, aunts and cousins ​​are there. It takes at least twenty minutes for you to get inside the house, because it is necessary to kiss and hug each one of the relatives, and not only a few. You find Grandma in the kitchen, with half a dozen of other aunts and cousins, finishing lunch.

“You're late,” she says, not turning to look at you. "It would have been useful to have more hands to help prepare food."

"Your blessing, grandma. And I didn't say I was coming,” you object.

“God bless you, darling. I knew you would. Hi Sabrina."

"Good morning, Grandma Cecilia. Want some help?" your friend asks.

"Help is always welcome. Can you give a hand to Sarah and take the dishes, dear?"

"Of course."

“And you, Y/n, come help me with the food." it isn't a request.

You help grandma carry the food out to the yard. Two long tables of wood have already been laid. Sabrina seems very comfortable among your romani relatives. Much more than you feel, actually. Not that you don't like your roots, you just don't understand or agree with some things. Like an arranged marriage, no pants or short hair for women, separate a couple if they don't conceive a child soon. All very archaic for you.

As soon as the food is served, everyone organizes themselves around the tables. Men take the longest. All the women huddle around each other. Every time you question grandma about why men and women never sit together at the table, she rolls her eyes and says, “This is why I hate your father!”

Grandma Cecilia’s food is very spicy and delicious, and you end up repeating the rice with lamb and walnuts. Then grandma thinks it is fair that you wash all the dishes, since you weren't there to prepare lunch. And there are too many! But it's alright. You go wash the dishes without complaining, because lately grandma and you can't talk without arguing.

However, while you are washing and Sabrina is drying the dishes, Grandma sit back by the doorframe, crossing her arms, which make her bracelets jingle like bells.

“You look different,” she says.

"I am? How different?"

"You are tense."

Sometimes your grandmother really seems to know things. She remains there, watching you silently until you finish the job. When you get rid of the apron, she takes you by the hand.

“Oh, grandma, no. I don't want you to." But it is too late. Is it over she studies your palm with a frown. Her thin finger run along one of the lines.

“He's here,” she announces, still looking at your hand.

"Who?"

“Your man. The one who will make you happy. You already met him."

"Really?" Not that you believe your palm knows what's going to happen in the future. But one thing you are sure: Grandma is always right. Whether by magic, instinct, or anything else, she always gets the predictions right.

"Yes, and you can ruin everything," she adds.

"That's news!" Sabrina moans.

Your grandma looks up quickly and looks at you. At that moment she's no longer Grandma Cecilia talking. It is the Romani Sapphire. "You should stop doing what you're doing. It's dangerous, Y/n."

You swallow hard. you know what she is talking about. “I got a freelance job,” you hear yourself saying in a snatch of voice. “Maybe I'll stop soon."

"It's good." She nods and then looks at Sabrina, who's smiles anxiously, like a younger daughter greedy for her mother's attention. Grandma takes her hand and is direct: “You met the right man at the wrong time."

"Oh my God! Why is it the wrong time?" the anguish stamps her beautiful face.

“I don't know, honey, but you'll find out soon enough."

Your friend is devastated after it, and even when you try to cheer her up telling her not to believe everything your grandmother said, she doesn’t give you attention.

“Your grandmother is the most powerful fortune teller I know. If she says it's the wrong time, so it's the wrong time.” She points at Grandma once you are left alone.

"And if you listen to that, you'll end up doing something stupid and turn what she said into reality. That's how this “prediction of the future,” works Sa."

"I can't believe you're saying your grandmother is a charlatan!” 

“It's not that. But seriously! Now you're going to be thinking that something will go wrong with Seokjin, and you're going to do everything to make sure that doesn't happen, right?"

"Obviously!" she replies as if she is talking to a child.

"So, you're going to get so obsessed with what my grandma said you're going to forget to enjoy what is happening now, it will end up changing and screwing everything with the guy you like."

"But your grandmother said it's not the right time!" she insists.

“That's for you to decide, not my grandmother or the palm of your hand."

"Can you believe you've already met the man of your life?"

You hesitate. “I think there's a good chance Jungkook is someone special, but then to be the man of my life has a big difference. I barely know him. Although I'm very attracted to him, I can't say whether or not he's the one I will love. The lid to my pan."

"So, you're not worried about what Grandma Cecilia said?" About you screwing it all?

"Not even a little."

Sabrina is right on one point: even if Jungkook finds out you went to bed with Namjoon, he can't say anything, because you haven't gone out yet. You have everything under control.

That's it, it everything will be all right.

Ⓒ 2022 Sugarushsuga, do not copy, translate or repost.

[sugarushsuga]

In Your Own Words Ch. 3

Genre: Rom-Com, fluff with bits of angst - Coworkers!AU; enemies to lovers; Journalist!AU

Paring: RM x Reader

Words count: 5.906

Warnings: Cursing; drinking; Namjoon is a true A-hole

Synopsis: After graduating your dream was to become a journalist and work to one of the biggest magazines in the country. But that pretty dream does not translate perfectly to reality. The magazine is on verge of bankruptcy, great journalists are moving the rival magazines and not being replaced, your boss is a jerk who doesn't even know your name. Fate seems to be toying you around to its own pleasure, can you take control of your life and achieve your dreams, or you are going to be carried away by fate's plans?

Author note: This fanfic follows the world of the Brazilian production Procura-se um marido series. I do not own the series or original content.

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You march a little frustrated to the agenda meeting on Monday. The Zodiac has been well accepted. Proof of this is the amount of emails that clog up your inbox. Most women saying that Liz is good, that she gets her predictions right, that a friend said she read the weekly zodiac before making any decision, to make sure that she's doing the right thing. That scares you a little and makes you a lot angry. You don't want people to listen to what you write, but what can you do? Some people simply choose to believe! And if the column continued to receive so many compliments, Namjoon would never take you out of that crap.

And to be honest, that isn't the only reason for the bad mood. Your weekend was…normal. You went to the mall with Sabrina, then to the movies. You had lunch with Bea and Tae and in the afternoon, you deep cleaned the apartment. All the same, no calls from Jungkook or anything.

So, when you see Yoongi enter the newsroom that morning, you are filled with expectations. But it doesn’t last long. He informs you that Jungkook will stay in the South for a few more days, covering a fashion event, and that he doesn't know when he will be back.

"Very good. Let's see where we stand," Namjoon said in his pragmatic tone, after everyone is settled into their respective places.

He looks the same as always, focused, always on the phone with some important sponsor, running the magazine impeccably. However, sometimes you watch him, and you can see a certain bitterness, abandonment in his eyes. The fact that Ella got photos of Alexia at a club on the weekend, surrounded by handsome men, probably didn't help him overcome the loss. Worse, after the photos, everyone deduced that the end had been because of one of those guys, and you lost your fifty bucks.

"The number of complaints dropped seven percent in the last week if compared to previous ones,” Namjoon announces, studying a spreadsheet. "No threat against any reporter this time. Very good, Ella."

"Hallelujah!" she laughs. "It's getting boring when they threaten to blow me up."

"Copies sales went up by three percent." Namjoon arches a brow and a half-smile creep across his lip.

"That's great!" Hani exclaims.

"But it's not enough," he corrects her, his face returning to objective. "We need to make the numbers grow even more. A lot more! What do we have for this week?"

Absolute silence falls over the room. You can hear Ella gnawing her nails. She plucks up the courage and shifts in her chair. "I thought I'd try an exclusive with Alexia Aremberg,” she blurts out.

You hold your breath.

“That is out of the question." Namjoon doesn't even blink to answer.

“She's news,” Ella argues. "Competitors will publish something, whether you like it or not. Looks like TopNews is already trying an exclusive..."

Namjoon looks down at his hands, clasped together on the table, his jaw cracks when he hears the name of the rival magazine, and takes a deep breath.

"This magazine is already starting to piss me off. Alright, Ella" he gives in. "Get it. I want new photos. Call Jungkook to go with you."

Namjoon acts like a true professional, distancing himself from the private life matter in sake of his career. You could never achieve such a feat. Perhaps that's why he is the Head-editor, and you are the zodiac girl. But despite the professional posture, his discomfort is visible. You want to do something for him, make him feel better. Maybe, you don't know, give him a bar of chocolate and lie that it's diet.

“The guy is still the South, I think,” Ella explained.

“By the time you manage to schedule the interview with Alexia, he'll be on his way back. If not, call another photographer." He sounds indifferent, and without taking a breath, he changes the subject and turns to face you "We never received so many complimentary messages. Y/n, your zodiac is a success. Very good job." And then he goes to Yoongi, demanding to know more about the week's article.

You blink, stunned by the sudden change in topic, but a smile spread across your face. Okay, you know it is nothing that can change the world, or will shake the structures of society, but your boss complimented your work — and got your name right. And all at once!

“That's all, folks,” he says at last and dismisses you.

You leave the room with the others and heads for the reception. Phone ringing you reluctant looks at the screen. Is not Jungkook.

"Hello?"

"Hi, my name is Jessy. You sent me your resume and a small text. Do you remember? I found very interesting..."

Your heart nearly jumps out of your throat. Oh my God! This could be your big chance calling? You just don’t remember who this Jessy is. You sent your resume for so many people...

"I really like the way you write. I can't have you in our journalist’s team for the time being, but I would like to make an offer."

All well. It isn't your big chance calling. Still. Maybe that will bring you closer to it.

"I'm all ears."

"We thought of creating a section aimed at singles. Whatever you want to write, as long as it doesn't stray from the topic. It will be monthly. Let's test it and see how readers react."

"It's a freelance job." And a way to get a column if it works out. You will have an article published under your real name! "All right, I'm in,” You reply quickly.

"That's great! Write down my email and phone, please feel free to ask whatever you want. And welcome to TopNews magazine, honey."

Your mouth drops open and for a full minute you can only blink. "TopNews?” Oh no!

"Yes! As soon as you have the first article, send it to me and I will explain some clauses of our contract to you."

"I…" Oh, my God, now what? Namjoon will kill you if he finds out you are working for the rival. You can't lose your steady job. "I... Can I think about it a little bit?"

It takes her by surprise. “I thought you wanted the column, that you took it."

"It's just... I didn't realize the enormity of the..." You look at your sides and lowers you voice, afraid someone can hear you. "Your magazine. I think I'm a little insecure."

“Oh, that's normal. Give it some thought, then. I cannot count on you if you think you won't be able to handle the pressure." And she hangs up.

Oh God, why? Why did everything have to be complicated in your life? Why couldn't it be any other magazine? Why did it have to be the competitor of Just-Facts? Namjoon will fire you if he finds out, and from what you heard, the freelance money is good, but it won't be enough to cover the month expenses. You need the steady job, the paychecks dropping in your account every day 6. Running a hand through your hair and taking a deep breath. What will you do now?

Can you try to act behind the back? What if Namjoon finds out?

Your phone rings again. You are so stunned that you don't even check who it is. And this time it's Jungkook.

"Hi Babe. Is our Friday date still on?"

"Oh, hi. I didn't know if you would make it back in time, so I was waiting you call me to confirm."

"A sweet job offer appeared here in the South, but I only accepted because I knew that I would be free on Friday. I'll finish today and go home tomorrow. what means I'm all yours on Friday. If you still want me, of course,” he adds, and you can almost feel the smile in his voice.

You repress a sigh. Jungkook is pure sensuality, and even over the phone he can make you shiver from head to toe.

"I want to. I mean... The date. It's still on, of course."

"Excellent. You would break my heart if you canceled. I'll call you on Friday if we don't happen to bump into each other on the magazine."

"Fine. Until Friday then."

You need to decide soon what to wear for the date. Sabrina has a beautiful dress that maybe she can borrow you.

"Hi, my name is Natacha. I came for the job interview,” said a girl of just over three meters from you. She has blonde hair styled in a Mohawk full of purple and pink tips. The shirt is ripped and the lilac top glows over pale skin. The black ballerina tulle skirt over the leggings makes her tiny figure look like some kind of dark fairy.

You ask Natacha to follow you to Namjoon's office. Knocking on the door telling him about the candidate for the receptionist position. She walks in, looking very comfortable, an unusual thing for someone facing a job interview. In less than ten minutes, Namjoon calls you.

“Y/n, please show Natacha what she has do. Then come to my office."

Then the girl appears in front of you, her face the same bored one from before. She doesn't look happy to get the job. But you do. You are radiant. Goodbye, phone, emails, and coffee.

"Well, here's the phonebook with all the numbers you're going to need..." You explain the whole service to her and introduce her to some of the journalists who are in the newsroom.

“Cool,” she says, in that disinterested way.

You like her. And it will be wonderful to have someone who doesn't freak out as soon as the boss starts yelling. You head the head-editor office.

"Happy?" he asked as soon as you walk in.

You are about to say yes, that you are very happy, especially for him bothering to ask you, when you notice the phone glued to his ear.

“Okay,” he says into the phone. "We can sort it all out friendly if you give the exclusive to Ella. humm. Sure." And he hangs up.

By the depressed tone, you know it's Alexia on the other end of the line. He seems lost in thoughts, staring at the silent phone. You don’t know what to do. Should you hope he remembers your existence, or should you get out? You choose the second option, and is already halfway through the door when he speaks, without looking up:

"I hate this."

Yeah, the first conversation after the breakup is nothing pleasant, even if it's over the phone. And that's why you say:

"I am really sorry." And you feel it.

“Good for you, because I still don't know how I feel."

“It takes a while."

“At least we'll have the exclusive." He throws the phone over the table and reaches for a cheap pen in the pencil holder.

"You didn't have to," you mutter pitying him. "Ella would have figured it out."

"Maybe, but recently TopNews has made Just-Facts seem mediocre. I can't risk the magazine's future by getting involved with someone who is in the news. If readers want to know is about Alexia's personal life, I, as a professional, must and will show them."

You don't know what to say, especially with the mention of the rival, to which you are supposed to do sporadic jobs. So, you are silent, looking at a little red toy plane on the shelf behind his desk, biting your lip until it bleeds.

"Did Natacha understand the job?" he wants to know, more composed, going back to the Namjoon you are used to.

“There's not much to understand, but she seems quite at ease. I can ask something?"

He stares at you, tilting his head. You take it as a yes.

“I thought you were going to interview a few more candidates before deciding who would take the job. Well, that's how it was with me."

He gives you a cynical smirk. "Natacha didn't give a fuck when I said there is a big possibility of her losing her job in the next two or three months, because the magazine is on the brink of bankruptcy."

"Oh. Right."

So, in the end, you wouldn't be cheating on Just-Facts if you accept Jessy's proposal, isn't it? You would just be securing your future if the magazine closes. You have no reason to feel bad about it. Yeah, and maybe it will rain jellybeans one of these days...

"Probably after Ella’s story hits the press" he begins "the bet will come to an end."

"Oh no, it's over," you interrupt him. "We lost."

"We?" He frowns.

You never wanted the ground to open up and swallow you so badly as in this moment.

“It's just… well.” you clear your throat. "I thought it was safe to bet the same as you, but we lost."

"What?!"

“Ahn- Ella got some pictures of Alexia and… she was with… uh… some friends, I think... People de-deduced that one of them was... um... the cause of…umm…end of your relationship…,” you add, mortified.

"But it wasn't!" Namjoon then gets up and walks around the table. "I'm going to talk to these idiots. They think they'll get some money at my expense, but no!"

“No, Namjoon!" you yell grabbing him by the arm as he passes by.

He glares at your hand on his wrist. You release him and takes a step back.

"You can't do this," You mutter.

"Sure, I can. It's my money!"

"And mine too! But if you talk to them, they'll know I knew the result all the time. In fact, they'll know that I made the bet for you, and they'll think that I'm an asshole that can't be trusted."

"And you think I care to what happens to you?"

You take another a step back, swallowing hard. Humiliation isn't quite the word for what you feel. Namjoon surveys you and his expression changes. He closes his eyes, shaking his head.

"Fuck! Sorry, Y/n. That's not what I meant."

"You don't need to say sorry." You try to use as much composure as you can possibly handle. “You're just doing your part."

"Of being a jerk of a boss," he says huffing awkwardly.

Your eyes fix on his. "I'm glad everyone here knows their job well." — What the hell? He is your boss, but that doesn't mean he has the right to talk to you like that.

“I'm sorry,” he whispers, looking mortified. "I haven't been good company to anyone these last few days."

"Do you need anything else?"

Running a hand through his disheveled hair, he takes a deep breath before saying:

"For you to forget you spoke to me today...?"

"As you wish." you feel your eyes prickling, but you don't allow any tears to fall.

You leave his office and goes straight to the bathroom. Instead of screaming, you take your phone, dialed the number, making sure you are alone, and waits, she answers on the third ring.

"Jessy? Hi, it's Y/n. I already thought. If the offer still stands, I'm in. I want the column."

Forty-eight hours have never felt so long. But there it is, the beautiful and cool Friday night. And, in addition to the clear sky and the pleasant warmth, it also brings the prospect of a wonderful late night next to a man beyond hot.

Jungkook called you in the late afternoon, confirming the date. He has chosen a very trendy restaurant, which you found very encouraging. You are ready in your favorite dress from Sabrina's wardrobe — a strapless purple with a wide belt of the same fabric — which you match with the black sandals that she had given you for good luck in the job interview at Just-Facts.

Silver bracelets covers your wrists and hoops dangle from your ears. Sabrina has already gone out with Seokjin. They have only met three times, even if they spoke daily on the phone. You are crazy to meet him, but it is too soon to introduce him to you. Sa is in the clouds, even more after the multimillion-dollar renovation of a high-end mall fell on her table. She was already making plans to buy her dream Swan armchairs, to place in the living room of your first apartment, with the bonus she will get. You are not sure why Sabrina is so fascinated by those armchairs. For you, they are just overpriced, uncomfortable-looking armchairs. But the fact is that they are the apple of her eyes since she was in university.

You grab your bag and, puts a smile on your face, leaving the house.

"Wow, Looking good!" Beatriz, who's arriving at that moment looks at you from head to toe.

“I met a nice guy,” You say quickly, excitedly.

"I see. So, are you excited?"

"Very!"

"Condom?" She asks, arching an eyebrow.

"I don't have sex the first date, Bea."

She rolls her eyes. "Condom?" She insists.

“In the bag,” you mutter, blushing. "And you, have you finished packing up for the trip?"

“Mine is ready. Taehyung hasn't even started.”

You laugh. That is just like him. “What time is the flight?"

Afraid that her parents could convince her to stay for the party, Bea anticipated the vacations. She and Tae would board the next day.

"Nine o'clock," she says. "We'll leave early, around six, to avoid any problems. You know how it is, traffic is crazy..."

"Then I'll come to say goodbye earlier and pick up Yeotan."

"It breaks my heart to have to leave my baby," she moans, leaning against the pale blue wall.

"I'll take good care of him, Bea," You promise.

"I know." She smiles slightly. "Now go to your date, the traffic is hell today."

You take the car in front of the building and drive with sweaty hands, to the south area of the city. The restaurant is on the ground floor of one of the most chic hotels in town. Jungkook had the trouble to make a reservation. You can't stop smiling, even though your stomach is playing elevator, going up and down from hell. The valet takes a look at your car with something like horror in his eyes as you pull up to the hotel entrance. You don't think he is used to seeing popular cars around here.

"You have to step on the clutch twice to engage reverse.” you pass him the keys. "And the handbrake isn't that great, so it's better to leave it engaged."

He keeps looking at the car for another minute before blinking and shaking his head once.

"Yes ma'am." And he climbs into the car taking it to the underground parking.

You check out your look, smoothing the dress to dry your damp hands. You square your shoulders and climb the eight steps that lead to the restaurant. The place is beautiful. An immense canvas by a famous painter covered one of the walls, modern chandeliers hang from the ceiling, delicate arrangements decorating the tables. You look around the hall, but Jungkook hasn't arrived. Instead of going to the hostess and go to the reserved table, you decide it is better to wait for him at the bar, right there at the entrance.

You order a glass of white wine and double-checked your appearance on the mirror behind the counter. Some strands are starting to come a bit loose. You try to tame them but gives up. Jungkook wouldn't mind some loose strands, right?

Where the hell is he? Half an hour has passed and no Jungkook has appeared. Your anxiety only grows. How much longer should you wait before leaving? And most importantly, how much is the wine you are drinking? Maybe you shouldn't have ordered the second glass without looking at the price...

Your phone rings. You look at the screen and all your excitement start to dissipate.

“I am so sorry, princess.” Jungkook's soft voice echo in your ear. "But you won't believe what just happened! It looks like there was an explosion in the kitchen of the government palace."

"Oh my God! Did someone get hurt?"

“No one important, as far as I've heard. They are suspecting a terrorist attack."

You need to confess that the coldness with which he says that shocks you a little, but, hey, how many disasters must he have seen already?

“I'm sorry,” he goes on. "Much more than I can say now, but I'm running there. I'll try to take some pictures. Forgive me, Y/n."

All that make-up, waxing and effort to get into Sabrina's dress, all your anxiety and nervousness for nothing. He is not coming.

“I understand,” You force yourself to say. "It's your job."

"Is it okay to reschedule for another day?"

“We'll get together another time." You hang up.

You drink the rest of your wine and is building up the courage to ask for the check, and leave a considerable part of your paycheck there, when someone calls.

"Y/n!"

There it is. Your deepest wish fulfilled. You would have laughed if it wasn't tragic. Jimin smiles shyly at you. By the lustful look, you know that you do look great tonight. Okay, you miss the chance to rub the hot photographer in his face. But that's it, you just can't have everything in life.

"Wow, you look… beautiful!" he exclaims. "Are you waiting for someone?"

"Yeah… I'm waiting for someone. A guy. A doctor. Very hot. He likes to go to the gym."

His smile falters. Jimin hates working out. Once he said only idiots would lose time on a gym. He is the lean type, with fair skin and silky hair, his coffee like eyes stare into yours.

"How are things at the magazine?" he wants to know.

“I got a column a few weeks ago."

"Serious? Y/n, you deserve it. I know how hard you worked to get a nice job. You should have called me to break the news." He examines you once more and licks his lips. “You really are… Wow!"

A model like woman with straight hair and bangs over her eyebrows perch on his shoulder. Your ex averted his eyes from your cleavage and looks at her, a little embarrassed, putting his arm around her waist.

"Tati, I want to introduce you to Y/n, a friend. Y/n, this is Tatiana my... hmm..."

"Fiancée" she finishes, glaring at him.

You freeze, staring at him.

"Fiancée?"

He looks away.

"It is... I... thought it was time to settle down."

"Funny. Unless I got it all wrong, some weeks ago you seemed pretty single when you came to me and made a scene in in front of my work."

"We met a month ago." Tatiana stares at her fiancée. Then she caresses his chin with her red-painted fingernails.

“We decided to get married last weekend,” he says.

“Congratulations,” you greet. "I hope this time you can be faithful."

An awkward silence descends, until Jimin finally decides to put an end to the agony.

“Well, it was great seeing you, Y/n. Who knows, maybe we'll all have dinner together one of these days. Me and Tati, you, and the doctor... That is, if things between the two of you get serious."

You can't help but notice his dubious tone.

"Oh, it already is" you say. "Very serious. I even let him get food from my plate."

Jimin has never understood your relationship with food. You don't share. Never! Not even with him. Sabrina is always pissing you off about it, saying that a woman never fights over food. It was easy for her to talk. She didn't go her whole life being mugged by her brother. To this day You don't understand how Hobi can eat so much Ever since you were little, he used to steal your snacks. On easter, you would open your chocolates, eat just a little so it would last all week and then hide it in a top-secret place,

that after all it wasn't that secret, since Hobi always found them and devoured everything and put the crumpled paper replacing the chocolate. After years, you decided not to be silly and eat everything on the spot, until there wasn't a single crumb. You ended up getting used to it. If anyone dared to bringing the fork closer to your plate, you are able to growl (and bite!) like an angry dog.

And Jimin knows it, that's why the shock is so evident on his face.

"Is it really that serious?" he asks, looking hurt.

“The other day I even let him eat the last slice of pizza without an argument. Do you believe it?" You lie, delivering the final blow. Pizza is your favorite food.

"Wow! He must be very special to you."

“Oh, he's perfect!" Especially because he's an imaginary man.

"We need to go now," Tatiana says, a little angry. "Until any day." And she drags your reluctant ex-boyfriend out of the restaurant.

You drop into the sit, stunned, hurt, and annoyed that you don't have a boyfriend to share your food with.

Jimin is going to get married. How could he marry a woman he only knows for a month? You were together for two years. Two. Years. And he never had mentioned marriage. not that you would have accepted, but still.

“Double vodka, please,” You ask the bartender, still reeling from everything that just happened. Screw it that it cost almost the price of a bottle on the market.

You can't get up to go to the market. That's what money is for. To fulfill your desires. And your wish is vodka. And there it is, like magic, right in front of you.

You down the drink, which tasted like steaming lava, and mentally curses while the alcohol incinerates on your insides. It is good. at least you know that your body is still capable of feeling anything other than anger. you ask for another round. And one more after that.

"Hard day?" Like the plague there he is, Namjoon appears out of nowhere, slipping on the sit next to yours.

You laugh in dismay. "It wasn't good before I saw you, now..." you drink more of your vodka. Amazing how a liquid like this can give courage to cowards. “I just got stood up and found my ex with his future wife."

"Wow. Shit. But if that cheers you up, my day was great too. Got kicked out of my own house last week, and when I tried to get my dog this afternoon, my crazy ex-girlfriend called the police. I had to explain to the chief that I wasn't threatening anyone and that I just wanted to take my dog."

"And did you manage to get him back?"

"No. I want two of these," he asks the bartender, pointing to the cup in your hand. Then he turns to you: "But I managed to get a criminal record."

"Are you serious?"

He nods, two glasses are placed in front of him on the counter. He drinks one of them in one drink.

“I'm staying here. Alexia refuses to let me into my house. I paid for everything there and she won't let me in."

"Namjoon, relax. Things will get settled in time."

Leaning his elbow on the counter, he flashes you a wry smile. "How did you say you were really feeling?" an eyebrow appears behind the ugly glasses.

“You know what, you deserve that Alexia kicked you out of the house. deserve that since you get away for being so rude to everyone." You stand up.

You feel a little dizzy and stumble. Namjoon holds you by the shoulders.

"Oops! Hang in there, girl."

"It's okay. Let me go,” you order, balancing and pulling away from his hands.

"I didn't mean to be rude," he says in a small voice. "Sorry. Please don't go. Drink with me."

“You don't deserve company. Not even your own." He nods enthusiastically.

"You are right. With all reason, but please stay here. I haven't been acting nice lately, and it seems like you're always around when I behave like an asshole, but please don't go. I don't have anyone with whom I can really talk. Everyone keeps telling me that Alexia is just going through a bad moment and that everything will go back to normal. You are the only one who hasn't told me that yet, who, like me, doesn't believe that everything will go back to normal. You kind of understand me, don't you?"

Defying your better judgment, you nod once.

"Then stay," he asks. "Just... stay and listen to me. And tell me to shut up when I'm rude."

“Does that mean you're going to be rude?" You narrow your eyes at him.

"If I'm rude," he corrects and smiles faintly.

You hesitate for a moment. It sucks getting dumped, but still worse is not having anyone to lean on.

"If you're rude again, I'll leave," you warn, glaring at him.

He nods and flashes a shy smile.

“I won't be. Not on purpose. And you should forgive me even if I do, since you are an angel."

"I'm a what?"

“You have wings." He points at your feet. You look down to the wings on the straps of your plastic Vivienne Westwood sandals.

Namjoon goes on. "See, I could have said you were a bat, a pelican, a parrot. It proves I'm not an asshole all the time, right?"

You sit down next to him, stifling your laughter.

“I'm not so sure, but okay."

“You were wearing these sandals on the day of the job interview."

"Yes, I was," you reply, surprised. "Oh, I can't believe you remember my sandal, but couldn't get my name right."

He scratches his head, embarrassed. "So... I remember them because... well... they're interesting."

You let out a long breath.

“Okay, spill it, Namjoon. And just for the record you're the one who will pay the bill."

"I didn't know I was going to have to pay for company," he points out, finding it funny.

“Not for the company, for the drinks. Now speak."

“Two more,” he asks the waiter before starting. "I don't even know what to think. Six years of relationship. Six years, Y/n! And just like that" he snaps his fingers "all of a sudden, Alexia decided she wanted a break, that she wasn't sure what she wants out of her life. Or, in other words, that she isn't sure if she still wants me in her life."

"Not on me to say what everyone else has already told you, but maybe it's just a phrase. Maybe she'll change her mind."

“I'm not sure I want her to change her mind. this time for thinking is not her property, as she believes it is. I've also been thinking a lot. Reevaluating everything and I found that I simply settled down. I don't even know if I want to go back to live with her again."

You nod at him. "I understand. You're going to have to figure out what you want out of your life."

"And until then what do I do?" he huffs. "I sit and wait like a puppy?"

"No. You wait, drinking vodka." You raise the glass in a toast and drinks it.

Namjoon does the same. And after that, you empty many others. As the alcohol get into you, your mood improves considerably, and Namjoon makes a great company. You had never liked him, but this night you like Namjoon a lot. He is so funny!

Especially when he tries to dry his eyes without taking off his glasses after laughing like crazy and they stay crooked in his face for like five minutes before he notices.

"iff zhe want a breeak becauze zhe dooooesn't love me anymore. maybe zhe never loved me really,” he muses.

"Why iz he marrying her? Why did he never wanted to marry me?

"She muzt put on a great show in bed!"

You swivel on the bench, gripping the counter as you nearly lose your balance.

"Huh! You never zlept with Alexia?"

"I'm talking about your Jimin's bride."

You think about what he is saying and think it makes sense. Namjoon is very reasonable. Especially that night.

"Thatz what you zay? That I'm noot good enough because he never wanted to marry me?"

He shrugs and sobs at the same time.

"How am I gonna to know? Guyz get cray enough to aszk women to marry ifff they drive them mad in bed."

"Did you aszk Alexia to marry you?"

"No." He frowns, his glasses slipping to the bridge of his nose.

"Should I have?"

"I dunno. Why didn't you want to marry her?" you stretch out your arm and push his frame with your thumb. It is crooked. "She wazn't good in bed, no?"

"Waz."

"Then...?"

“Dunno Y/n." He tries to straighten his glasses, but it doesn't work. "I dun't think I ztopped to think about it".

"Not once in zix yearz have you ever thought about it?"

"I think not. I dun't remember. I'm kinda confused now. Iz that why zhe kicked me? Why did you want to get married?"

"I think zhe was a zinzer. She dumped you because she wazn't zure what zhe wanted. Becauze of that and becauze men are big zonz of bitchez commanded by their own dick."

"Yez, ma'ma." He raises his glass in a toast.

“And dezpicable." But you toast too.

"Yeah, but it's like that that workz."

"Hey!" You complain after taking a sip. "Who put tequila in my glaz?"

"Huh! It was him." He points to one of the guys behind the counter.

"Which one?" you strain your eyes.

"There waz one, I'm zure, but I'm not."

"There'z five." You narrow your eyes, trying to focus them behind the counter, but they don't stand still. turning to Namjoon. “They don't ztop moving."

"Holy shit!" he shouts, startling you as he brings his face close to yours and examines it very carefully or enough attention, given his condition. "Your eyez are big like the moon."

"Are. Both,” You agree proudly.

He laughs. "So beautiful! Both. you’re so funny." He adjusts his glasses again and they get even more inclined.

"It'z becauze you're drunk."

He nods. "Am, I like you when you iz drunk."

"I alzo like you when I'm drunk."

One of the attendants told you they are closing, but not before hearing your protests. They don't change anything.

"What time iz it?" You ask Namjoon.

“I have no idea. Do you want to continue talking somewhere else? I haz a fridge full of bottles in the room."

You don't know why, but you find it funny. And the fact is, you laugh so hard that you lose your balance, and would have fallen off the high stool if Namjoon hadn't been fast enough to hold you. But he is also a little off balance and ended up pushing you against the counter, fitting in between your thighs. His glasses fall in between the two of you and ended up on your cleavage.

“Nice grip,” Namjoon praises, eyes fixed on your boobs.

He lifts his head and looks at you. Damn it! Without the glasses, Namjoon is just... just...

"zo, Y/n, are you going home?"

Ⓒ 2022 Sugarushsuga, do not copy, translate or repost.