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bffsoobin · 4 years ago

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This Time Around

➤ idol!yeonjun x non!idol/ex!girlfriend reader ft. same reader x jungkook (mostly platonic), fluff, angst, lots of messy feelings, other txt members make appearances/are mentioned

↳ weeks after your chance reconnection with Yeonjun, you book a flight to Seoul under his encouragement. When you arrive, you’re not only overwhelmed by the lifestyle of an idol, but the new people you meet. Will you and Yeonjun be able to hold on to each other this time around?

word count: 9k

requested?: yes! (thank you for this great idea, anon)

warnings: this is largely angst. crying, arguments, swearing, feelings of betrayal and confusion, Yeonjun is kind of an ass, self-doubt (in both Yeonjun and reader), messy feelings and relationships all around, this does NOT have a happy ending so don’t go in expecting one lmao also disclaimer (?) that I a) have no idea what the BH building looks like inside b) don’t think that either Yeonjun or Jungkook would act this way...we are here to write fiction, after all.

A/N: This is a sequel to Just One Day! I won’t be making too many explicit references to the content of that fic but reading it first will help with storyline clarity! I also don’t explicitly state this but the reader in this case already knows Korean, she just has never been to the country before- it was simply easier for storytelling. I really hope y’all like this. I was very inspired by this request especially since I was in the mood to write both angst and a sequel to one of my older pieces! (also this gave me a good excuse to write about koo without feeling bad for straying from TXT content lmao) ALSO this is not proof read or edited, as usual for me :)

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“I think it’s a good idea,” Yeonjun’s voice, velvety and heavy with sleep, seeps through the speakers of your phone. You glance at the time displayed on your computer and do the mental math which proves it’s a crisp 2 am in Korea.

“Go to bed, Junnie,” you half-scold, knowing that you wish for nothing more than for him to stay on the line until he eventually falls asleep in the middle of the conversation. He sighs through the phone, and you imagine him stretching his arms above his head to eliminate the fatigue creeping through him.

“Not till you promise me you’ll come,” he counters smartly. Your stomach flips wildly at the words. It had been almost three months since you spent the day with him, and not a single day had passed where he hadn’t been on your mind. Whether you spent your time talking to him or indulging yourself in your newfound kpop guilty pleasures, Yeonjun was almost always on your mind. Staying in touch proved to be harder than expected, due to both time zones and your equally packed schedules. Since he had flown back to Korea, you’d begun your first big girl job in a serious office that required constant business attire and piled the paperwork onto you, the newest and youngest hire.

“I’d love to, but you know how it is at work. I think my boss would combust if I told him I was taking a week’s vacation.” Talking about work made your head swim, as you recalled the stack of paperwork currently residing on your bedroom desk that needed to be finished before you showed up on Monday.

“That’s exactly why you deserve a vacation, Y/N. Look, if you fly into Seoul I promise I’ll make sure you don’t think about work for a second. I know you have time to take off, so take it. Come see me.” The line was quiet for a few seconds as you pondered, weighing your options carefully.

“I miss you,” Yeonjun’s voice came through loud and clear, crumbling the last remaining bit of your resolve. You missed him too, so much more than you ever thought you would, and your heartbeat kicks into high gear at the thought of seeing him again.

“Okay, I’ll file for my week off on Monday. I’ll see you soon, Yeonjun.”

----

When you finally arrive inside of the BigHit building, suitcase in tow and a huge visitor lanyard around your neck, your hands are sweating profusely. A kind staff member had picked you up from the airport and delivered you to the practice room that Yeonjun would presumably be inside of. The walls were soundproofed well, but you could hear the faint beat of bass through the heavy door as you hesitate in pushing it open. Another staff member passes behind you and eyes you closely until recognizing the badge hanging around your neck.

Feeling awkward for hesitating in the hallway after being seen, you push on the door until it swings open in a smooth motion. The wheels of your suitcase click over the seams of the floor, and the sound would have been enough to make you cringe if it weren’t for the pounding music.

A track you don’t recognize echos through the mirrored room as none other than Choi Yeonjun stares intently back at his own dancing reflection. You catch your own reflection; arms crossed in a protective latch over your chest.

His body moves fluidly, as if he had left all of his bones waiting for him at home, and a thrill of excited anxiety crawls through your chest. He was really there, mere feet away, and you were really here in the middle of the BigHit building, achieving the dreams of fans all over the world.

The music stops and your mouth runs dry. Yeonjun’s heaving breath is the only sound in the mirrored room and you try to drive away the thought of the last time you’d heard him pant like that; sweaty and shirtless overtop of you on your rickety secondhand couch.

“You made it.” He says, impressively able to control his voice even after the exertion.

“In one piece, at least.” You say. Your arms stay wound around your body, a protective cage against his stare and his touch. He eyes you carefully and you’re suddenly concerned that your airport-chic appearance is inadequate.

“You look pretty.” He whispers, stepping close enough that his heaving chest almost touches your crossed arms. His hands, fingers calloused and rough, wind around your wrists and tug gently, giving you plenty of time to pull back. But you let him unwind your arms and pull them to your sides. His hands are large and warm and press gently into your skin, grounding you into the room and the moment and the absurdity of the fact that you’re actually here with him in Korea.

“You bleached your hair.” You offer weakly, withering underneath his attention.

“I’m not supposed to tell, but I’m getting ready for pink.” He says. Sweat drips down his temples, meeting and rolling together in tracks down to his chin. He looks just as handsome as you remember him to be months before, but it’s hard to ignore the thinned frame of his face.

“Have you been taking care of yourself?” You ask, finally finding courage to string together a meaningful sentence.

“I’m glad you’re here.” Yeonjun leans into you, supporting himself on the tips of his toes until he’s dangerously close to toppling you both over. He levels a heavy, constant gaze on you, eyes drifting down to the surprised pout of your lips and sliding back to your eyes. In a second you know that he wants to kiss you, and there is nothing more you’d like than for that to happen, so you close your eyes and lean into him; feel the warmth of his breath and you can almost taste the salt of his sweat, but the kiss never comes. Instead, Yeonjun startles and drops his hands from you, takes one huge step back and immediately bends into a deep bow.

Your back is still facing the door, but you catch a glimpse through the mirror. Jeon Jungkook stands just inside the door, dark wavy hair tied half up in a messy bun, some loose strands framing his face. He’s wearing a t-shirt and loose sweats and rubbing fatigue from his eyes, but he’s somehow even more handsome in person. Your face flushes, desperately trying not to make eye contact with him through the mirror and knowing you failed as soon as he shoots you a small, toothy smile.

“Didn’t know you had company,” He says in lieu of a greeting as he steps just slightly closer to the two of you.

“We were just going.” Yeonjun bows again, grabs your wrist and tugs you in a persuasive manner.

“It’s okay, really.” Jungkook enthuses, eyes crinkling in apparent amusement at Yeonjun’s behavior and before you know it your face twists into a similar smile. It had been a long time since you’d seen Yeonjun so nervous, acting like he was attached to a live wire that kept him moving nonstop. “No need to rush out on my account.” Jungkook adds as Yeonjun tugs you again, leaving your suitcase abandoned in the spot you’d been standing. You open your mouth to protest.

“Wait! I don’t think that...” Jungkook looks at you pointedly as he rolls the suitcase back over to the two of you.

“Y/N.” You offer, hands sweating profusely as he passes over the luggage.

“I don’t think that Y/N would like to leave without her suitcase.” His eyes twinkle with something like an untold joke, an anecdote he wants to share but keeps in the back of his head for later. You thank him shortly, still starstruck and nervous as Yeonjun pulls you out of the door.

----

“I’m so sorry about that.” Yeonjun apologizes again as you arrive at a new door, this one in a whole new wing of the building that you would have gotten lost finding on your own.

“It’s okay, Jun. I expect to run into...o-other people.” You stutter as he opens the door, facing the realization that you were probably about to meet Yeonjun’s members too. The dorm was simpler than you expected, opening up to a lightly furnished living room that looked like it had been hastily cleaned- you could see a stack of clothes had been clumsily shoved behind the couch.

The lack of instant greetings surprises you as you follow Yeonjun blindly into the room but you don’t say anything. You kind of wish that the other four boys would come bursting out, bombard you with questions and jokes and prodding fingers as Yeonjun lets you into his room. The air is still charged from your interrupted kiss, and your fingers curl around the handle of your suitcase as you recall Jungkook’s reaction. He had clearly found it amusing, but was he more interested in teasing Yeonjun or finding out exactly who you were?

In the moment you had found his attention comical although stressful, like a funny anecdote that Yeonjun might grumble about a few weeks later. Now, you replay it over and over again, worried that every chance interaction with another idol within the building would play out exactly the same. Maybe you weren’t quite cut out for this. Yeonjun had been speaking the whole time, rattling off words you don’t catch as he opens and closes drawers.

“-is that alright?” He asks, spinning on his socked heels to face you. You freeze, trying desperately to claw through your mind for any clues to what he’d said. Yeonjun smirks, closes in on you and raises a well-kept eyebrow.

“What did I just ask you?” He asks, voice level and cool despite the teasing nature of the question.

“I-I don’t know.” You admit, a blush rises on your cheeks as his smirk pulls even larger.

“I asked...” he tucks a stray hair behind your ear, “if you wanted to share a bed. You could always sleep on the couch, but I-”

“No, I’ll sleep with you!” You slap a hand over your mouth as Yeonjun dissolves into giggles. “I mean, I mean, I don’t mind sharing a bed.” You try desperately to break through his laughter but it’s useless, so you succumb to the same fit of giggles. Yeonjun cups your cheeks sweetly, squishing them together in earnest before leaning in the same way he had just minutes prior. Your heart stutters at the knowledge that this kiss was finally happening after three months separated.

Your lips meet in soft, tentative passes against each other until you recall the feeling. Yeonjun is hesitant, hanging back until you surge forward, kissing him harder and wiggling your tongue between the seam of his lips until he opens them. His teeth rake your bottom lip and nibble hard enough to draw blood, the metallic taste grounding you into the moment until Yeonjun pulls back, thumbs stroking the tops of your cheeks. He places another kiss to your nose, giggling against your skin as you shy away.

A loud crash sounds from just outside the door and you jump, eyes blowing wide when the sound of overlapping voices grows closer and closer. Yeonjun tells you that the rest of the boys must be back and ushers you out of the room before you can protest.

In the living room you’re faced with the four of them, all busying themselves with mundane tasks or scrolling through their phones until Yeonjun clears his throat. They look up simultaneously, synchronized enough that you would have laughed under a different circumstance.

“Everyone, this is, my uh, uh, Y/N.” Yeonjun awkwardly sweeps a hand your way and you flush, feeling small as the four boys you’d watched and laughed with and admired through a screen bowed to you.

“I really-it’s not...well, hi.” You sigh.

----

Introductions aside, the night slides by easily until the wear of your travel catches up with you so suddenly that you slump onto the nearest body. Yeonjun shakes you awake and it’s only then that you notice the shoulder you were leaning upon belonged to Beomgyu. You apologize to the boy as soon as you can get your tongue to work properly and are soon whisked away to Yeonjun’s bedroom. The short trip awoke you to an unpleasant degree, almost feeling as if you were suddenly too aware of your surroundings. The lights were too bright, the scent of fabric softener too strong in your nose, the sound of the remaining four people in the living room too loud. And of course, the presence of Yeonjun too much to handle.

You sit at the foot of the bed and pick at your nails while Yeonjun shuffles around the room, doing something you don’t bother to track closely.

“Are you going to get ready for bed?” He asks shortly, not even turning to face you. You now realize that he had pulled on pajamas of his own; a too-big graphic t-shirt and a pair of worn sweatpants. Frowning, you head for your own suitcase and dig through the carefully stacked clothes until you find some suitable options. You change quickly, keeping your back to him although you can feel his heavy stare at your back.

“Did you like them?” He asks. You sit back at the metal headboard and nod thoughtfully. His lips draw into a straight line as he settles beside you. “You and Beomgyu really...got along well.”

“Sure, I think we all got along well.” You offer, tucking yourself underneath his newly cleaned sheets. For a moment you wonder what he was going to do about the lights overhead, but they extinguish with a press of a button on his phone. Plunged in darkness, you can’t help but feel a bit bolder, indulging in the burn of defiance within you.

“Why? Are you jealous?” You ask. Yeonjun scoffs and you can feel the sheets pull as he flips underneath them. He says nothing but you can feel the air in the room shift. The bedding feels suffocating.

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

----

When you wake, you’re uncharacteristically hot. You notice the sweat beading your neck and forehead as soon as you sit up, desperate to free yourself from the covers. You wonder if Yeonjun is suffering a similar fate, or if his body is used to the brutal heat of his bedroom. You turn to look for him, happy anxiety at the thought of seeing his sleeping form in real time brewing in the pit of your stomach. You couldn’t count the amount of times you’d imagined this exact moment, wondered if he scrunched his face in his sleep or if he looked serene and peaceful, wondered if he snored or spoke or sighed in his sleep.

But all you saw was crumpled sheets and a small, bright green post-it note with bunched writing. It stuck to the bed sheets as you pulled it up, and you had to blink a few times before you finally understood the gist of the note. Yeonjun was gone, off to do his daily idol duties, and you are welcome to use their shower as none of the boys were home. You scan the note again for any sign of love or sincerity but find nothing more than cold and clinical facts, like a teacher giving instructions to a class.

Bitterness grows in your chest as you slip into the cramped shower and cool yourself off under a trickle of water. Theoretically, you know that Yeonjun would be busy while you were here. After all, you couldn’t expect the company to let him off of all responsibility just because you were around. Your skin was growing red under the scrub of your fingers. But he could have at least run it by you last night, warned you that he would probably be gone by the time you got up and given you some idea of when he’d be back. What were you supposed to do all day? You stepped out of the shower, flinging your wet hair away from your face. You could barely make it out of this building alone, but you’d be damned if all you did was sit here and wait for him to return. If he wasn’t going to be here, you’d make your own fun.

You were unfamiliar to Seoul, but after navigating yourself out of the BigHit building you felt as if you could conquer anything. You hadn’t realized how much of the day had passed by in your slumber until you stepped into the real world. Dusk had begun to fall over the sky, painting it a hazy purple-pink in anticipation of a sunset. People and cars and buses rushed by with purpose as you stand still and baffled at the city before you. The packed street before you is a little bit intimidating, but reminded you enough of the bustle of your hometown that you took a brave step forward anyway. Crossing so quickly that you almost run into a group of teenage girls, you finally reach some kind of a destination. To be fair, you had done zero planning on sight seeing before coming, so almost every building looked like a destination to you. A particularly cute looking café seemed to manifest itself out of thin air and beckon you in with sweet drinks and sugary snacks. You order and eat greedily with the realization that this is your first real meal since being on the plane yesterday, and the waitress laughs when you tell her that as you flag her down for another piece of cake.

The café certainly lives up to the hype you make for it, but you notice the employees begin to clean and close things down, so you leave and thank them on the way out. You finally check your phone, hoping that Yeonjun might have sent you an apology or an update, but you see nothing aside from email notifications. Emblazoned by his actions, you continue on your exploration, opening the doors to a clothing shop with so much force that other patrons cringe. Inside, you buy way too many things to fit in your suitcase before traipsing yourself-weighed down by bags- into a nearby restaurant. Something about being in Korea had elevated your appetite to an extreme level, so your stomach growls as soon as you cross over the threshold. The place is crowded, almost packed wall to wall as patrons and employees alike bustle between one another.

The cute wooden sign reads “seat yourself” so you dodge and weave until you find a tiny table, just big enough for your party of one, hidden in a more private corner of the restaurant. An employee spots you and yells out that he’s going to go get a menu, so you content yourself with people watching in the meantime. At the table diagonal to you, you spot a woman who looks just about the same age as you. Her hair is carefully waved; a deep, shiny brown that flows just down to the top of her chest. Every feature you can spot is immaculate and it makes you feel sick. Her nails are perfectly manicured, not a single chip or hang nail in sight, while your own nailbeds are torn up and bloody as a result of nervous picking. A weird, unwelcome acidity crawls up the back of your throat and demands to be acknowledged, makes your eyes burn with envious tears as the waiter finally delivers a menu and you wonder why you can’t just look that put together and perfect. After you order you can no longer stand to look her way anymore, angry at the fact that you were so resentful of this stranger.

Your waiter drops your food and utensils with polite haste but you aren’t nearly as hungry as you were before. Noodles and broth swirl around your spoon as the steam rises into your face, paying more attention to the bustle of the open kitchen where you spot a fun streak of vibrant pink hair. Whoever is donning it must have had it done recently. There’s a few small patches of pink dye spotting the back of their neck and it’s quite endearing to think about until you remember- Yeonjun was supposed to be dying his hair pink soon, and that tall frame and broad back look suspiciously familiar, and he still hasn’t sent you any texts, and you think that maybe he was just getting some takeout and heading back home but then he turns away from the counter and heads to your corner of the building. Your mouth goes dry, all the air still and stale in your lungs as his eyes land on yours. He looks away and then looks back again, double taking as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. As if he hadn’t been the one to invite you out to Korea, as if you hadn’t shared a bed last night. And then he moves, finally, walks away from the counter and toward your table with a tray piled with food and your heart hammers against your ribs as he walks right by and settles into the seat across from the perfect girl. She smiles wide as he unloads the food and settles in.

There’s nothing you can do but stare and fight the sting of your eyes until your waiter comes back around, notices your untouched food and asks if you want a takeout container. You say yes loud enough for Yeonjun to hear, and you can see him flinch but you know he won’t turn around. Not in public, with all these people around. Not when he’s an idol and you’re just a normal girl- a fucking tourist- and not when Miss Perfect is giggling her perfect laugh at whatever he just said.

The air outside is cold and it stings. Your face is wet but you don’t try to hide it. You don’t know any of these people, and they will never see you again. They probably won’t even remember that you cried on the walk home, weighed down with bags of food and clothes and the knowledge that Yeonjun was lying.

When you return to the dorm Beomgyu, Soobin and Taehyun are hanging around the living room, watching something on the television.

“Hey- where’s Yeonjun? He said he was going to dinner, we assumed he was meeting you.” Soobin asks, his tone cautiously trying to hide his confusion.

“Well, I did go to dinner,” you lift up the bags on your arm, “and so did Yeonjun. At the same place.” Your voice clips and you take a moment wonder if you should go on until Beomgyu mutters a soft “oh”.

“Well, here’s some food.” The plastic bag thuds on the coffee table. “Not hungry.”

----

You don’t know what time it is when Yeonjun decides to come back, but you have no plans of acknowledging his presence. The room is dimmed, only a bedside lamp left to keep you out of total darkness. You are perfectly content to simmer in your own anger for the night, let him feel it radiate off of your back the whole time you sleep. Until he has the audacity to ask, “Hey, what’s wrong?” You see red in the dark room. Your fingers clench into the pillow, making a victim out of the poor feathers and fabric as you contemplate throwing it at his head. His new hair looks even nicer in the low light; nearly fluorescent and falling in a perfectly styled arc around his face.

“Don’t do that. Act like you don’t know.” You spit. Yeonjun says nothing but he clears his throat awkwardly, as if he’s about to make an argument, but you beat him to it.

“At least tell me who she is.” You try to hide the waver of your voice but it’s already there to stay.

“She’s no one! I’m not really supposed to tell anyone about it yet, the guys don’t even know-”

“They don’t know what? That you’re keeping two different girls in your pocket? Can’t even commit to one for a week long vacation? Jesus, Yeonjun, If you want to...cheat on me, at least wait until I’m not in the country. Fuck, I can’t even call it cheating because you don’t even want to date me! We only met up again a few months ago, and we spent one day together! And we fucked and it was nice and it was fun but what the fuck was it really? I texted you today, you know, to ask where the hell you were, and you never answered. I know that your life is busy, but a warning yesterday would have been nice.”

“I’m not cheating on you! She’s not- she’s just, someone I- that’s not the point, Y/N! And I’m sorry I didn’t answer you, but I was really busy, and I forgot to bring it up and I’m sorry, but did you really expect me to hang around all day?” You grit your teeth to stop an annoyed screech from hopping out.

“Of course not, Yeonjun. I’m not an idiot. What I expected was some fucking communication. I traveled across the world to come see you, maybe even try to figure out what we are, and so far all I’ve done is wander around the city alone. This isn’t what I wanted to do! I’m missing a week of work for this! I didn’t come out here just to be your little plaything once you get home!”

“That’s not what I’m doing!” Yeonjun stands up from the bed, rubbing his palms over the back of his neck. “I knew you would never understand. You can never understand how busy this lifestyle is, and I guess I was stupid for believing that you could understand, and that you wouldn’t be mad at me for having to go do my fucking job.”

“I don’t understand? I don’t understand your life? Will you ever just admit that you only like me because you can mold me around your shit? When I’m back home you can call me at any hour that works for you, and I’ll pick up. You can bitch about your job and your friends and your company and all the pain you have but whenever I call you you’re tired or sick or just don’t feel like it. Guess fucking what Yeonjun. I’m here now. And we share a room and a bed and a city so you can’t keep me miles away and at your beck and call whenever you so well please. I’m right in front of you now, and you need to own up to your shit. You ignored me. Now you’re lying about whoever the fuck that girl was. You don’t get to be a prick just because you’re a famous idol.” Your face is hot and your hands are shaking. Sweat is beading on your forehead just like it did this morning and it makes you itch but you refuse to move a single muscle, hardened to the spot and staring Yeonjun down. You can’t even remember how the argument started, but all you know now is that you can’t stand to look at him any longer. His eyes are wide, bottom lip wobbling. Tears sting at your eyes and your nose burns and you’re ready to lay down or maybe chug a bottle of vodka.

“I’m going to bed.” You pull the covers over you even though you’re sweltering, turn off the bedside lamp with the switch and clamp your eyes shut.

----

Your brain never shuts off. Even when you slam your eyes shut and start counting metaphorical sheep, you’re still replaying the argument on a relentless loop. Yeonjun had left the room moments after you tucked yourself in and you had yet to hear the door creak to announce his reappearance, so it was safe to assume that he was sleeping on the couch or holed up with another one of the boys. Or maybe he went crawling back to Miss Perfect.

The room is suffocating; heat simmers off of every surface even after you’ve thrown off the sheets and the white walls are annoying you. If you ever talk to Yeonjun again it will have to be about his piss poor decorating skills and the fact that he couldn’t even manage to hang up some pictures to break up the never ending white. Your phone says it’s just minutes shy of 2 am, but what does that really mean when you have no idea what time you laid down? Your legs move before your mind decides where you’re going, seemingly possessed by the idea of leaving the room as fast as possible. There’s just enough time to shrug on a crewneck and a pair of sneakers before you find yourself under the blinding fluorescents of the hall that remind you exactly where you are. Tall, sturdy black doors stand on both sides of you, metal accents gleaming and boasting their contents. There’s no easy way to understand the layout of the building, and you assume that’s for the protection of the idols, but it also means that you completely forget the only route you know for leaving the building.

Had you taken a left or a right? Did you pass by the hallway next to the ladies bathroom or go down it? Had there always been a potted plant next to that office, or did all of the doors just look similar? Somehow, you find yourself back in the place you had first been delivered to when you arrived. The doors were slightly different here, some made of thick wavy glass that was vaguely transparent and others made out of the same black you had become used to. A set of three rooms with the wavy glass were right next to one another, and if your suspicions were correct they were all practice rooms, presumably empty at the lack of music. The thought of the rooms, empty and clean and sporting just enough comfortable furniture in the corner for you to sprawl out on. There was no way that sleep was going to overcome you, but at least you could feel secure in your loneliness for a few hours.

The metal handle was cold, chilling your sweaty palm instantly, but you’re met with harsh resistance. It doesn’t budge forward no matter how hard you push downward and lean into the door. Out of anger you try one more time, grunting and digging your heels into the carpet of the hallway.

“You need a card to get in.” A voice calls from what must just be steps behind you, and you jump embarrassingly high before turning reluctantly. Surely some poor late-shift cleaner or intern had seen you struggling with the door and decided to take pity on you before someone really saw you making a fool of yourself. You could only imagine what they were thinking- how they would go home to their pets or family or friends and laugh about the girl they saw throwing her entire weight against a locked door.

But in the split second your neurons begin to fire anew, you know that you weren’t lucky enough to be discovered by another normal member of society. On this already annoyingly unlucky night you come face to face with- once again- Jeon Jungkook. You flush immediately and pull at the hem of your shorts until they do a better job at covering your thighs. You’re still sweaty, strands of hair matted to the back of your neck and your forehead, and the fact that it’s sometime past 2 am and you’ve yelled and cried and tossed and turned and cursed everything that led you to this moment only makes you look worse.

And, of course, even though it’s sometime past 2 am and maybe Jungkook had also been sweating and tossing and turning and cursing everything too...he still manages to look like an angel. His hair is unruly, all loose and wavy and sticking up in some places. His outfit is almost identical to what you first saw him in, but this it was black instead of gray, and his sleeves are bunched at the elbow, only affording you half a look at his lithe muscles and tattoos. His lips split in the same toothy grin as he gestures a small plastic card your way. How dare he look so handsome no matter the circumstance. He’s so much closer than he had been before, merely a foot away from you in the narrow hallway. Up this close you can see how perfect his skin is, as smooth and pore less as Yeonjun’s and Miss Perfect’s.

“No, I don’t need it.” You dismiss his hand with a small wave, sour after reminding yourself why you were here to begin with.

“Seems like you do?” Jungkook’s voice was oddly small too. He retracts his hand halfway, making sure you could still take it from him if you want to.

“No, what I need is a new boyfriend.” You spit the words before your conscious can review them, before you can remember that Yeonjun isn’t your boyfriend, that he isn’t technically anything except a rekindled flame you traveled across the world for. Jungkook pulls his arm all the way back and his face softens. You know he puts the pieces together quickly and you can feel the sympathy pass through the hall. “Nevermind. I’m sure you’re busy, or need to pass by or- yeah, sorry.” You stand aside, press against the wall and wait for him to walk away, but he stays grounded and levels his soft but deadly gaze on you. It’s an unwelcome reminder that he’s one of the most famous idols in the world and you’re standing in the middle of his company building; tired and teary.

“Did you fight? Is that why you’re wondering through our part of the building alone?” He gestures at one of the doors further down the hallway, a solid black one, and you can make out a shiny plaque with his name on it and some cute little decorations taped on the wall.

“I’m so sorry, I can’t find my way around this place- I just couldn’t sleep so I wandered and I guess I ended up in...your part of the building.” You can feel the heat radiate off of your face as he smiles again, nose scrunching at your panic.

“Cute.” His nose wiggles one more time before he schools his features as if the word didn’t nearly knock you on your ass. Cute. Cute! He has the audacity to stand here in the middle of the night and call you cute. “Seriously, if you need somewhere to sit down or sleep, there’s a couch in my studio, it’s clean in there, you can-”

“Oh, no! Jungkook,” you blush stupidly at using his name, “I can’t ask you to do that. I’ll just circle back to Yeonjun’s and sleep it off.” The thought makes your stomach churn, the idea of trying to fall asleep in the exact room your almost relationship fell to pieces. Surely the carpet couldn’t be too uncomfortable-

“No, please, I’m offering. You look tired, and if you fought...well, I know how awkward it can be in the morning. Come on.” He walks away before you can protest and some other worldly sense makes you follow him. You never expected to be in this position, but you also never thought that Yeonjun would disappoint you so much. Inside of the partially padded studio is a surprisingly large sofa with a charming patchwork blanket draped over the back. Jungkook stands awkwardly next to his desk and picks at his fingernails as you sit down. You sink in to the couch and instantly feel more comfortable than you have in days, the soft scent of lavender and the warm yellow lights bring you as close to relaxation as you can get.

“I saw him with another girl.” You lose your filter again and Jungkook’s eyes narrow. “He says it wasn’t a date, but he also won’t tell me who she was, and the rest of them all thought he was with me so he’s obviously lying. We aren’t technically dating, so can I even be mad? He’s lying no matter what, and he didn’t even tell me he would be out all day or text me during it. But I also still have three more days to stick out here.” A few hot tears are slipping down your face and you can’t help but feel insecure about them.

Jungkook says nothing of the tears but chews thoughtfully on his thumbnail. He leans his hip against his desk, intimidating and sharp yet soft and handsome and sweet for letting you stay here and spill your anger into his studio. His socked foot taps on the floor in a rhythm unknown to you, and you can’t help but wonder how many people would kill to be in your exact spot. You notice a day-by-day calendar that’s quite a few days behind on his desk, and it makes you smile until he’s moving, lowering himself to the floor just a few inches away from your feet.

His fists clench- subtle enough that you wouldn’t even notice if the room didn’t feel so charged- and as he looks up at you, you see that a look somewhere between anger and pity paints his face. It’s embarrassing to sit here like this, so clearly under his scrutiny with nothing but your pajamas to cover you.

“I’m sorry.” Jungkook finally speaks again and shakes his head so much that a few ebony pieces of hair slip into his eyes in a near-perfect arc. You shrug. “Really, Y/N. I’m sorry. That’s an asshole move, no matter who the other girl is. You don’t deserve to be treated like that, and after all the trouble you put in to come out here and see him-he’s lucky we don’t cross paths often.” He sighs and suddenly he’s sitting next to you on the couch, the weight and heat of his body making the situation that much more real and that much more odd. You must still have unshed tears lining your eyes when you find the courage to look up at him because he frowns. “Please, don’t cry! It’s the first time I’ve ever had a girl in here, and well, it’d be pretty embarrassing if she spends the whole time crying.”

A shit eating grin sprouts on his face as soon as he sees your lips upturn with laughter. It’s hard not to be grateful for the joke, so you laugh and thank him for trying to make you feel better.

“And thanks again, for the place to sleep. Or, try.” You have a feeling that sleep will evade you all night, no matter how cozy the room makes you.

“If you don’t think you’re going to sleep-” Jungkook stands suddenly and rushes over to his desk. When he gets there, he turns his wide desktop computer until it faces the couch and logs in. “Then at least watch some movies! Here,” he puts a wireless keyboard in your lap- “whatever you wanna watch, I have it all.” You hesitate for just a moment and then type in the title of one of your favorite films with seconds to spare before Jungkook throws the patchwork blanket over both of your laps. He sinks back into the couch and you follow his lead, careful to keep a good few inches of space between the two of you because holy shit, you’re sitting next to Jungkook, and holy shit he’s watching a movie with you, and holy shit he just saw you cry and he looks so handsome from the side.

You pay more attention to Jungkook than you do the movie. It’s funny to watch someone who feels so extraordinary do something as normal as watching a movie and realize that he really is human. And the way he crinkles his nose and widens his doe-eyes makes your heart stutter with attraction and then guilt at the thought of Yeonjun, who still makes your palms sweat and your heart shake with anticipation of his touch despite your argument.

But here’s Jungkook, being kind and open and raw and willing to stay up with you on this random sleepless night although you only met by chance mere hours ago. And his kind eyes widen and narrow and crinkle when he laughs at the movie, and he offers you a second blanket and a throw pillow when your eyes get too heavy for you to focus, and you don’t think that you’re imagining things as you feel gentle fingers comb through your hair.

----

Your head feels like it’s filled with cotton when you wake up, confusion soaks your senses as you piece together where you are and how you got there and who’s lap your head is laying in. As if he could read your thoughts, Jungkook lets out a long and loud groan from above you. Clearly he had fallen asleep where he is now, head lolled against the back of the couch and a throw pillow folded between his arms.

“Good morning.” He drawls, voice still deep and thick from slumber. Out of all the things you never thought you would do, waking up to Jungkook is near to the top.

“M-morning.” You manage to call back as you run your hands over your face, hoping to absolve yourself of any evidence of shock. Jungkook’s studio is just as welcoming as it had been to you last night, but now a deep sense of guilt creeps through you. Yeonjun might have woken up by now, maybe he was ready to talk and try to make things better, maybe he’s been calling and texting you and you haven’t seen any of it. Your phone is nowhere to be found as you dig around in the blanket, a noise of distress clawing up the back of your throat. Heart pounding, you put a hand underneath the couch and slide it back and forth until your fingers graze over the cold, hard mass that must be your phone. As soon as it’s in your grasp you can see that the time is just a few minutes past 8am, and that you indeed do have a few texts waiting from Yeonjun.

“Oh, Jungkook, thank you again for-y-you know, but I have to go, do you mind showing me which way to go?” Poor sense of direction had landed you here to begin with, and you wouldn’t let it make this problem any bigger again. Thankfully he doesn’t protest; just waits by the door as you straighten out your pajamas. Out in the hallway, the lights are bright and imposing and you recognize a headache from the late night is starting to creep up behind your eyes. No one really seems to be around to see the two of you, and you are nothing short of grateful for that when Jungkook makes a quick stop and you barrel into his back, face burning with embarrassment. He laughs as you sputter apologizes and wave for him to keep leading the way, but he insists on stopping and turning to face you. His face is puffy with sleep, eyes still scrunching against the lights, but they’re still clear and gentle and it’s hard to miss the teasing twitch of his full lips in such close proximity.

A wave of admiration crashes through you, followed quickly by a sickening feeling of guilt. Yeonjun was probably waiting for you to come talk things out, and here you were drooling over a different boy. “I’m okay, lets keep going.” Urging him on with a gentle push to his muscled back is the most you can do since you still don’t notice anything distinctive to lead you back to the correct dorm. Just a few more steps down the hallway and you can hear voices, overlapping shouts, and one voice you would recognize anywhere coming from the way you were about to turn. Before you even had time to open your mouth to voice your concern to Jungkook, Yeonjun is stomping down the hallway, a panicked looking Taehyun in tow.

His face is draw, sharp features heightened by either confusion or anger- it’s hard to tell- as he realizes who’s standing in front of him. The two boys are fairly evenly matched in height but Yeonjun still squares up, lifting his shoulders higher and craning his neck. You know he knows you’re there; you shared a moment of eye contact in the seconds before he leveled a glare at Jungkook.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Yeonjun spits, anger shaking the fists at his sides. Jungkook is shocked, you can tell even from behind him, the way he recoils just slightly and scoffs as if he can’t believe his ears.

“Look, this doesn’t need to be a fight. I was just helping Y/N get back to your dorm.” You’re amazed at how well he controls his anger, especially after seeing the anger he held back against Yeonjun the night before. You take this as a queue to step out from behind Jungkook’s frame, allowing Yeonjun a better look at you.

“Oh, before or after she spent the night in your studio? Just couldn’t resist giving her a place to stay. Someone to sleep with?” Anger flares in your stomach, lighting a fire underneath your skin.

“What the fuck, Yeonjun? Do you really think that I would-”

“Sleep with him? Of course. Why wouldn’t you? Look at the state of you two, don’t tell me you didn’t fuck.” There was simply no believing what was coming out of his mouth, and his words only made you wish that you had acted on the feelings you felt brewing last night.

“What if I did? You certainly don’t want me! I’m sorry I went looking for companionship somewhere else!” It’s much too quiet in the hallway after that, the only evidence that the world hadn’t stopped turning is Jungkook’s hand that comes up to rest on your shoulder.

“So you did.” Yeonjun rubs his chin, taking a step backwards in what you assume is disbelief. Tears creep into the corners of your eyes, stubbornly burning and forcing you to blink until your vision is blurry. Jungkook says something you don’t quite catch through the static buzzing in your ears. You feel exhausted, weak at the knees with disbelief at just how awful this interaction was going; so lost that it takes Jungkook shaking your shoulder to bring you back to reality.

“Please, I don’t want to talk about this here. Yeonjun, let’s go, please.” You beg, walking toward him before he even responds. The idea of being caught in this odd trifecta made you sweat. Jungkook protests but you wave him off quickly, assuring that there was nothing else he could do. As upset as Yeonjun was, you knew that he would calm down substantially once the older boy was gone.

The walk to the dorm is thankfully short, and Taehyun tries his best at making small talk while Yeonjun trails behind like a petulant child. As soon as you cross into the dorm you feel awkward and hot all over like everyone is watching you even though Taehyun is already disappearing into his room and locking the door while Yeonjun breezes right past you.

“I’m not playing the silent game.” You follow Yeonjun into the kitchen where he has his head buried in the fridge, making a point to rattle every bottle and package inside of it.

“Alright, fine. Then you get to tell me the truth.” His voice is softer now, much less elevated and harsh than it was just minutes before. “Did you spend the night with him?” It rattles your bones to hear the edge of hurt in his voice.

“I was wandering around the building in the middle of the night, and he was too- so I told him what was going on and he offered for me to stay in his studio, on the couch. And I said yes-” Yeonjun’s face crumples. “We watched a movie and I fell asleep.”

“Why didn’t you just come back? I texted you, Y/N. We literally just argued about communication and the first thing you do is run to a different guy? If I’m not good enough for you, just admit it.”

“I could say the same exact thing to you. Why am I here? Should I just book a flight home tonight and call it quits? Do you even want to try this?” Yeonjun cracks open a bottle of water and drinks half in one go, avoiding your gaze at all costs. “And I did nothing with Jungkook. Because I respect you, and whatever the fuck this-” You gesture between the two of you, feet apart, “is. Or was.”

“Don’t say that.” Yeonjun’s voice cracks, reminiscent of the way he used to sound on the phone when he called you at the end of the day. “I- I don’t want to hear you say that. Please.” A tremor of hurt shakes your bones, creates an unpleasant lump in your throat that you try and fail to swallow. Yeonjun appears to you now as similar as he did in your teenage years; uncertain and small and his wide, glassy eyes latching on to you like a lifeline. And you can’t help but remember how you used to be too; devoted to him and naïve about where life was going to take you.

“I don’t want to say it either, Yeonjun. I hate saying it. But we aren’t the same people we were all those years ago. We’re in two different lives, and as much as I want to be able to fit into yours...it’s never going to happen.” Your body weight feels suddenly too much, like you’re being filled with lead and sunk to the bottom of the ocean to be forgotten. Yeonjun finally closes your perpetual gap in a slow gait that seemed like it would last forever. His eyes are red, puffy, rimmed with unshed tears. Dark circles ring his eyes and you know they’re because he probably didn’t sleep last night either. His lips are chapped and dry, pouting in an incurable sadness. Your fingers itch to cup his jaw and litter him with kisses until he finally grins.

“Are you saying you don’t love me?” If any other noise had happened at the same time he spoke, you wouldn’t have heard the question. A stake strikes through your heart at the words, scarring your soul for years to come.

“No, Junnie. I love you so much.” Your bottom lip wobbles and you gasp out a sob, “I just don’t think we’re going to work this time around. We’re both too busy, and on different tracks, and I think we just have to be more r-realistic.” You have to close your eyes, unable to watch the way tears begin to cascade down his own face. “I’m sorry.” You stand alone, still and cold and clamping your eyes shut so hard that they hurt.

Yeonjun’s body molds around your form, tight and warm and shuddering slightly from his own tears. He smells like laundry detergent and musk and you shake with regret as his arms wind around your back and hold you as close to his frame as you think is humanly possible. Your tears soak his crewneck as the fabric scratches your skin. His heart beat is erratic, but you know yours isn’t fairing any better, and you can’t help but curse the universe for bringing you all this way with him just to shoot you back down.

“I’m sorry too. For not being enough.” His words rumble into your hair and you can’t even find the energy to refute them and instead just shake your head. Your head spins in wild circle as Yeonjun finally stops shaking underneath you in favor of cupping your face in tender hands, forcing you to open your eyes. His look felt more intimate than anything else you had shared before; a pure and expressive opening into his most vulnerable form and the knowledge that you were the reason he was feeling it.

“I think I should try to catch an earlier flight home.” You aren’t quite sure exactly why you say it, but Yeonjun doesn’t seem surprised at the notion. After all, there would be nothing to stick around for. He still had to work and you had no relationship left to hang on to. You hadn’t even gotten around to unpacking your suitcase. Yeonjun nods sadly, wiping at a few more tears before clearing his throat. His voice is thick, the evidence of his emotion loud and clear and your heart breaks at the thought of truly walking away from him.

“I’ll miss you, Y/N.” There’s no telling if he would ever contact you after this, or if you would contact him. Maybe the two of you will live with odd shadows of one another in the back of your heads for the rest of your lives- a teenage romance rekindled years later only to explode and crackle and eventually fade into the dark.

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defdaily · 4 years ago

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JAY B Interview [HYPEBEAST]

From GOT7 to H1GHR MUSIC’s JAY B

On the 11th of May, it was announced that GOT7’s leader JAY B had joined H1GHR MUSIC. Ever since his time in JYPE, Jay B has been taking on the responsibility of writing lyrics and composing songs for albums, even participating as a producer. On Soundcloud, he has released 5 mixtapes under the name Def., showing his ambition as a solo musician in various instances. That’s why the fact that he did not join a KPOP entertainment company but instead joined H1GHR MUSIC is not a particularly surprising thing. However, it’s no lie that this will bring a huge change to his career as an artist. <HYPEBEAST> met with JAY B and had a talk about the reason he decided to move (to H1GHR MUSIC), his new single ‘Switch It Up’, his future activities as well as his ambition.

HYPEBEAST: You’re known for being on “team mint chocolate”. You even left comments about it on <HYPEBEAST>’s instagram page.

JAY B: I like the way the flavour is pungent yet wrapped up in chocolate. I don’t really like plain chocolate. I like it when something is added to it, such as chocolate milk or white chocolate, but when I had mint chocolate for the first time, it was really revolutionary. After that, I’ve been enjoying eating it.

HB: It’s still something that sparks a lot of debate. There are also a lot of products released aimed to spark controversy.

JAY B: There’s something I always say. If I am eating it well and I like it, I just hope that you won’t say things like “why would you eat that?” to me. If you’re enjoying your food and then someone next to you says that sort of thing, you’d lose your appetite, right? Just don’t say that kind of thing to someone who’s eating. Let’s love one another!

HB: Your group, GOT7, left JYP Entertainment after 7 years. How did you feel promoting without a company for the past few months?

JAY B: I feel the same now. It’s more fun. Personally, one of the reasons why I decided to leave JYP was because I wanted to take on more challenges. Maybe it’s because of that but the time I spent as a kind of freelancer felt really new. Even though I won’t be able to know everything about what kind of system I’ll be working in, I got to learn about it roughly and gained a more serious attitude regarding work. I also felt a sense of pride and that it was precious.

HB: Out of the ‘challenges’ you mentioned, your photo exhibition was one of them, right? We heard that you like taking pictures.

JAY B: Even this morning, I saw a pigeon spread only one side of its wings. I’ve never seen that before, so I wanted to take a picture of it, but in a short moment it sensed that I was there and flew away. I’m the kind of person who takes a lot of pictures of those little moments. In that way, I got to hold a photo exhibition too. Honestly, I was embarrassed to do the exhibition. I was just going to try to do it personally as a small thing with the pictures I took myself, but JYPE said “let’s do it even better”, and as we exchanged ideas, the scale got a bit larger.

HB: Is there a particular theme that you like when taking pictures?

JAY B: I’m the kind of person who comes up with (themes) as I take the pictures. As I am taking pictures of something, thoughts like “ah, it would be fun to hold exhibitions with this kind of pictures” come to mind. For my first exhibition, I took pictures revolving around the theme of ‘loneliness’, ‘living alone’, and ‘even if you are living alone, you need someone by your side’. It was mainly involving people/figures, but I actually prefer taking pictures of landscapes or larger compositions.

HB: In the past, you’ve said “I think my next album will be a product that includes the loneliness felt in life”. Is it related to your first photo exhibition <ALONE>?

JAY B: There’s no relation between the two. I wanted to work out all the feelings I had after being under a lot of pressure as I lived my life. Putting aside whether the album is good or not, I think it will be an album where I honestly share what I felt when I felt pressured. I don’t know whether or not it will be released, and if it does, I don’t know in what form it will be released in, but for now I’ve just made the album with this theme. It might sound boring, but it contains a lot of my honest thoughts.

HB: We don’t know when or how, but it will probably be released through H1GHR MUSIC now right? After your contract ended with JYP, you probably received offers from various places, why did you choose H1GHR MUSIC?

JAY B: I’m well aware of the fact that I was protected by the fence called JYP. But as I mentioned previously, I left JYP because I wanted to try and experience something on my own. I also had doubts regarding whether I was an artist who could bring in as much profit as the company wanted. I think that changing my image in order to earn a profit is something that I’ve done a lot in the past. After leaving the company, I received offers from multiple places, and some were really good companies too. However, the most important thing was that it had to be a company that I could exchange opinions and create with. I think H1GHR MUSIC matched up with that the best.

HB: As the field of your promotions change, it will probably come with some concerns as well.

JAY B: I’m the kind of person who worries a lot and is cautious. My own concerns aside, I was really worried about whether H1GHR MUSIC’s image would be damaged because I joined. I thought people might say that an idol joining would muddy the waters* (*ruin the label’s image). No matter if there’s a good or bad reaction, H1GHR MUSIC has already accomplished things, and I would be a new addition. On top of that, I’m not someone who is just starting to make music. I’m making a new image based on the one I already had. Even so, just this once, I wanted to make a decision that was for myself. That’s why I was even more cautious with each and every step.

HB: Is the title of your new single ’Switch It Up’ referring to the changes you are going through?

JAY B: When I came up with the title, I did think that it was possible to give it that sort of meaning. I wanted to express a basic love story while also including the meaning of switching up my life. However, Jay Park hyung gave me some advice, saying that rather than doing that, it might be better for me to naturally blend in what I’ve already been doing. Following that advice, even though the title itself carries the meaning of change, the lyrics are just about love.

HB: How was your first production at H1GHR MUSIC?

JAY B: I had a lot of concerns and was worried. After I made the decision to join H1GHR MUSIC, I told Jay hyung that I wanted to release a song or an album quickly. It just so happened Cha Cha Malone was back in Korea, so we aligned our schedules and produced songs together. Everything happened naturally. Jay hyung said that I shouldn’t go all out from the beginning, and that it’s more important to keep going steadily. I agree with that. I’m satisfied with the result too. I worry a lot so I’m the type to ask around for opinions, but everyone said it was good. But honestly, I’m not sure how the public will react to it. (laughs)

HB: Sokodomo’s feature was really impressive, how did he end up participating in the song?

JAY B: The funny thing is, it really came about naturally too. When I went to the studio, sokodomo was there and he asked if he could stay while we were working on our songs, so we said it was okay. As we worked on songs like that, after I finished up my recording, sokodomo suddenly went into the recording studio. I was wondering “what’s going on?”, but what sokodomo showed us was really good. Turns out, while I was recording, he came up with some ideas and asked if it was okay if he tried it out which I didn’t hear. But what sokodomo came up with was a style that I couldn’t express well. And so right there and then, I cautiously asked if he would be willing to feature in the song, and he agreed without hesitation. That part was so good that I even thought “I can’t be eaten by (overshadowed) sokodomo”. Haha.

HB: In the past, you were a B-boy, and even in GOT7 you received a lot of attention for your dancing. So we were wondering if we would get to see you dance to ’Switch It Up’.

JAY B: You’ll be able to see it through the live clip that will be released at the same time as the single. There are various elements in the live clip. First of all, I tried really hard to make it look cool. I sang live with sokodomo too. I think there’s a lot to see. The dance comes on at the very end. I thought that since I’m a performer, I should dance too. Honestly, at first when I listened to ‘Switch It Up’, I thought it would be kind of hard to dance to it. But even so, I have to dance. Other artists are cool too, but I think Chris Brown is really cool. He dances and sings at the same time really well. Because dance was my beginning, and I gained interest in singing later on and ended up working hard at it, I can’t let go of dance.

HB: Do you have any plans or ideas for the next album you’ll release through H1GHR MUSIC?

JAY B: I think that I have to move quickly. I’ll have to wait and see what I’ll end up with, but for now, I think it’s closer to a chill vibe. ‘Switch It Up’ was chill, but it still had a kind of energy to it. Rather than that, I think it will probably be the kind of music that is suitable to listen to while going for a drive. I want to show music that’s groovier and more sensual as much as possible. But I still don’t know. It’s possible that the company might say “let’s go for pop.” I want to create things together with the company, so I’m open to accommodating their opinions for a couple songs.

HB: You’re also promoting with the name Def. and not Jay B. Why did you come up with the name Def.?

JAY B: Actually, even in the early days of GOT7, I didn’t feel any attachment to the name JB. I felt really strongly that it was a name that someone else came up with. I’m more comfortable with people calling me by my birth name, Jaebeom, too. Of course, I like it now. I wanted to separate Jay B and Def., that’s why they are separated. When I was in JYP, I got permission to release my music on Soundcloud, but I couldn’t release albums separately. So I released all the music that I couldn’t release as JB through Def. For now, I decided I would make music that people could approach more comfortably under the name Jay B, and I would release things that are more to what I want to do through Def. I’m not sure how it will end up in the future though.

HB: Listening to the music under these two names, there is quite a difference. The music you release under the name Def. has more characteristics of the neo soul genre.

JAY B: When I made <1/? Vol. 1>, I liked trap soul, so it contains a lot of that kind of music. After that as well, it mostly is filled with songs that were the style that I liked at the time. If you listen to my mixtape, excluding the intro and outro, there are about 5 songs. While I prepared those songs, I also worked on 15 songs that would be for GOT7 albums at the same time, making about 20 songs at a time. I’d work on GOT7 songs from morning till late night and if I had time, I would then work on my mixtape. That’s why they are songs that I really cherish. People might wonder why I would work so hard, but I thought that as an idol, I have to do my job well so that I can gain autonomy within the company. That’s why I worked hard and pushed myself to my limits.

HB: When will we be able to hear your music as Def.?

JAY B: Firstly, I want to get my name as Jay B out there, and later on I want to use the name Def. again when I can do what I want. Things that are more unusual, alternative, and experimental.

HB: Hearing you talk, we can really feel the love you have for music. You also seem like a realistic person.

JAY B: It’s because I feel that if I stubbornly insist on doing what I want to do and it doesn’t turn out well, I’d get a rough reality check. I’m a cautious person, so if I persist only on what I want and then fail, I’d end up thinking that I just have no aptitude for music, and I thought that is more dangerous. If that happens, I’d feel sorry for the music that I like and I might even think that there was something wrong with the music or genres that I like. People might say that that’s “not real”, but it’s “real” to me. It’s just my way of living.

HB: You’re currently also in the crew ‘ØFFSHORE.’ What kind of crew is it?

JAY B: It’s a place where people who sell songs commercially and people who make their own music gather. It started with the purpose of people with the same interests making fun music together and releasing it. Offshore has the meaning of “shore/coast”. On the shore, there are lots of living things. There are times when the waves crash but also times when it’s calm. Just like my Def. character, I think it’s a place where I can freely include things I’ve never done before. It will carry on in the future too, but we won’t have any eye-catching activities. We’ll just go on calmly.

HB: As you share your stories, we’re getting curious about Jay B as a producer too. Will we be able to hear songs that you produce for other artists someday?

JAY B: When I was in JYP, I’ve sent out songs that the publisher said would not work for GOT7. There were also songs that were selected by other people but could not be used because of my name. Now, I don’t think there will be those sorts of limitations, so I want to try producing for other people too. I don’t have confidence in being responsible for someone or nurturing trainees, though. I’m still busy trying to feed myself. But even so, I’d like to try to produce just one song for someone else. I would have a sort of image about someone, right? An image that they themselves wouldn’t even know. I think the process of trying to bring that out would be fun. Of course, I’m focused on my music now, but it would be nice if I got the chance someday.

HB: Another GOT7 member, Yugyeom, joined AOMG. Fans can’t help but look forward to the reunion of your unit ‘Jus2’.

JAY B: Since Yugyeom is in AOMG, I think that if we talk to Jay hyung, it’s possible that we will release something as Jus2. Jus2 and JJ Project both include Jay B, but they are also units that are part of GOT7. I think that if we work hard at promoting them too, fans would feel a sense of security. I think that from now on is the time when both I, as well as GOT7, have to really do well.

HB: You mentioned that you wanted to release 1 GOT7 album a year.

JAY B: I don’t know whether it will work out, but we have to try and plan for it. I’ve mentioned multiple times that GOT7 has not disbanded. I believe that I should keep my word. Right now, everyone is actually busy working on their own things. Even so, we want to try and make one song for GOT7 a month, so that we can promote about once a year.

HB: You have a strong image as a great leader and hyung in GOT7. What would you like to show as JAY B in H1GHR MUSIC?

JAY B: I would like to hear people say “ah, I guess they did a good job bringing him in”. I hope that when people listen to ’Switch It Up’, they won’t think that “Jay Park made the wrong choice this time”. I think it would be nice if people thought that I was worth anticipating. Not that they brought in some strange kid. I don’t want to get cursed at. Haha.

HB: Do you have a final goal you want to achieve as an artist?

JAY B: I don’t. I just want to keep on steadily and quietly making music. To me, saying that you want to receive some sort of reward or that you want to become something is quite vague. I just hope that I can gain the drive to keep going on steadily and continue that cycle of creation. That’s all.

Translation by @mindellay x @defdaily

May contain slight inaccuracies.

#jayb #got7 #h1ghrmusic #lim jaebeom

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nightswithkookmin · 4 years ago

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Goldy I never thought I would reach out to any Jikook blog but after your last post I have to. I am an east asian american and trans. I have never spoken on this issue, commented or posted about this. I am a Jikook supporter but sometimes Jikook supporting blogs don't feel like the friendliest place. I want to thank you for changing my opinion on that. It is an insult to BTS to say Jikook don't know they seem gay or that they don't know what gay looks like. It is an insult to fans like me to say it would be OK to do the things they do if they were cisgendered straight men. I personally saw a few people say or dance around this and they got intimidated by big blogs for it. I would never name names because I beleive in free speech and the right of people to express themselves, as long as it isn't hate speech. Supporting lgbt people and making sure they don't feel endangered is MORE IMPORTANT THAN STANNING A KPOP BAND and I say this as a 4 year long bts and Jikook stan. So many people don't want to touch this issue and I understand why.

But thank you for supporting ACTUAL lgbt people as well as bts and showing stubborn people that BTS mean gay rights when they say gay rights.

I don't know why but this Ask made me cry...

I've been reading it over and over for the past two days and each time I feel humbled by it. Thanks so much for sharing this with me.

I think the era of the obsessed 'kids' and '13 year old shippers' in this space is coming to an end. I think it's time for a more nuanced mature conversation on what it means to ship and stan our faves in today's sociopolitical climate.

Let's intellectualize shipping and use it as a vehicle for social change not just pleasure. Sabotaging political hashtags is a start. Trending and donating to BLM is equally important. Fighting for gay rights and recognition is the next step and a natural progression from here- and about damn time!

Gone are the days where celebrities and idols were immune to accountability and personal responsibility. We live in a world where everyone is required to be converstant in and sensitive to social issues. Awareness is woven into our collective consciousness and for some of us we cannot divorce that from our pleasure receptors.

Hate to quote my pastor but, 'As a kid, I spoke, thought and reasoned like a kid. As I grew up, chilee darling, I put my ghetto ways aside. You feel me?' Lol. Yea, my pastor hood like that. Lol.

The fact of the matter is, BTS has a higher mature demographics now. Majority of us grew with them, if not past them. They are not seventeen anymore, Jin is almost thirty, the youngest in the group is past twenty three and majority of their fanbase are breaching Young Adult well into Adulthood and beyond.

We simply cannot view them with the same lens anymore. If we did, we would be infantilizing them if not enabling them.

We ought to be able to have certain conversations that reflect our age, hearts, backgrounds, experience, values and beliefs.

We can't sit behind our television sets and smart phone screens in this day and age and assume BTS sat through a performance like this and did not for a second think about what it meant, why the crowd cheered at certain moments or even understand the impact, message and intent behind it- especially not when Halsey, an openly bisexual woman and advocate for LGBTG rights is an acquaintance of thiers.

I don't know how a fraction of this fandom can assume BTS would have a collaboration of this nature and not know anything about the gay rights discourse or what queer baiting is or not consider how their actions may or may not be contributing to the marginalization of persons as these- to not have agency and personal responsibility or empathy.

JK cannot stan a gay artist such as Troye Sivan and divorce his music from his sexuality because it flows from it. Not when Troye has openly spoken about the struggles he went through as a closeted gay man, coming out and how that affected his mental health.

JK knows what gay is, he is aware of the struggles queer people face on a daily. His decision to cover, license and recommend songs by this artist is a deliberate act coming from a place of being informed on the matter.

Jimin knows. RM knows. Suga knows.

BTS cannot prepare a speech like this while oblivious to the plight of the LGBTQ plus community. I refuse to believe that simply because it's not true. Anyone who says otherwise is a scammer. Lol.

And I think they are intelligent enough to have cognisance of the fact majority of the world view certain aspects of their home culture as problematic and non-progressive and that this same world is watching them and what they do in this space matters.

They are part of the conversation. And it's in their interest to present themselves as queer a queer friendly band and company by distinctifying themselves from these 'traditional' Kpop bands.

I believe they know that being woke gives them a competitive advantage as MCs and advocates for the youth in today's world.

I believe they are aware certain things in their 'fan service culture' doesn't fly in the space they compete in and want to compete in. They are competing and rubbing shoulders with top LGBTQ plus advocates, sharing seats with them at awards, standing next to them- they best to look sharp.

It's obtuse for anyone to fall on the 'culture' rhetoric to excuse certain behaviors of their idols when actual queer people from and within that same culture fight against it.

Most S. koreans I know and have come across complain about their 'culture' and some even harbor strong resentments against this whole fanservice culture.

Holland, an openly gay Idol from South Korea, has equally spoken out against the 'fan service' culture prevalent within Kpop on several occasions and laments how it depoliticizes queerness and affects actual queer people within S.K.

And isn't it funny that the same conservative Christian population who strongly oppose homosexuality in S.K often lead online campaigns against Jikook for 'promoting homosexuality' because of certain fanservice and skinship they do?

If skinship is normal and fanservice is culture, why does conservative S.K keep pushing back against it? It's their culture uno?! Lmho.

Queer south Koreans and conservative Christians hate fanservice culture and yet here we are using their culture to defend it as if it's all black and white. Lmho.

Did they or did they not see South Korean's reactions to this performance by Jikook? The mixed feelings most had about it?

Men can nibble on men's ear but God forbid they toss them in the air and catch em💀

South Koreans are not a monolith. Their culture is nuanced like any culture. It's not static and not clear cut black and white either.

It's one thing to respect other's culture, it's another to perpetuate it in ignorance. Perpetuating their culture and being religious about it does not allow for the dynamism inherent in their culture.

Troye Sivan talked about how he'd stop in the middle of his concerts and performances upon seeing the hyper fangirls in the front row and then think to himself, 'I know they know I'm gay, so why are they still here...'

And this was before he came out.

Jikook know we know they are queer or that we think of them as queer. When Jimin talks about 'those that love me for me' he knows exactly what he is talking about or rather who he is talking to- it's not these hets I'm afraid.

Troye also talked about being privileged because he lived in a rather queer friendly neighborhood where everyone is gay and so he'd always felt safe coming out.

Isn't that what JK is doing?

Now this is a person who's without a doubt had a lot of influence on JK in his early formative years as an Idol right down to his decision to move into a much queer friendly neighborhood of Itaewon.

They know we know. Jikook is gay.

Thankfully, there are reports of a rising number of LGBTQ plus in South Korea, a lot of allies, a lot of queer folks coming out and a lot of companies opening up to working with gay idols and aspiring idols.

It's such a relief but a lot of work still needs to be done and I stand with them on behalf of Jikook and any queer folk in SK.

My sister is helping me reach out to an LGBTQ plus advocate from Seoul for an interview for my blog. If everything goes well, I'd love for her to share her thoughts on queer passing, queer baiting and fan service within Kpop and how that affects LGBTQ youth in South K.

It's a conversation I'm really passionate about and interested in.

I love me some ships, but I also love me some queer advocacy and human rights uno? Lol.

Thing is, I may quit BTS one day, but I can never quit being me. Being human. Always put the human first is my motto.

Oh and I hear people are plotting to cancel me? Chilee. Y'all do that but:

Let it echo.

Signed,

GOLDY

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leejungchans · 4 years ago

Text

— our first snow.

word count: 2.2k

pairing: dino (svt) x idol!oc (juliet)

warning(s): mentions of cyberbullying, allusions to stalking (dispatch yucky), mentions of the toxic/dark side of the kpop industry

genre: mostly fluff; slight angst (about idol life); crushes-to-lovers; idol au

notes: can be read as a standalone but you can refer to juliet’s masterlist for more info on her!! there may be some weather inaccuracies in this ahskhwjs please don’t be mad 😭 i live somewhere that never snows :(

summary: a confession is made during the first snowfall of 2021.

a/n: thank you to the anon who suggested a cute dino/juliet scenario 🥺💖 i hope you like this!!! thank you all for reading and have a nice day!!

Winter in Seoul is beautiful.

Even though she’s been living in Korea for six, almost seven years, Juliet thinks she can never get tired of seeing snow. Something about it is just so utterly magical and charming, like being in a Christmas card. Sure, it’s freezing and the snow sticks to everything—her hair, parka, boots, even her lashes, but it’s still one of her favourite things about living in Seoul as it’s something she wouldn’t be able to experience back home in Sydney.

Juliet still remembers the first time she saw snow the year she moved to Korea and how transfixed she had been. Upon learning about this, Yeri, the first friend she made at her former company, immediately dragged her out to the sidewalk where snow elegantly floated down from the sky and would eventually envelop Seoul in a pristine white blanket.

Though, she supposes that at the moment, they’re experiencing more of a snowstorm than a snowfall. By the time she gets back to the dorm, her black parka will probably turn white from all the snow sticking to it. She wonders what her members are doing, if they’re also enjoying the snow or staying inside to shield themselves from the biting cold.

A particularly strong gust of wind blows the hood of Juliet’s parka off her head, causing snow to immediately start landing on her newly-dyed purple hair. A gloved hand instantly reaches up to tug the hood snuggly back into place.

The female idol turns to her companion and smiles, even though he can only see her eyes due to the both of them wearing black masks, but she hopes he notices her eye-smile anyways. “Thanks, Channie.”

Juliet watches Chan’s eyes curve into crescents, and she knows he’s also grinning behind his mask. They’re always so sparkly, she thinks, like they hold the entire universe in them.

“C’mon,” he says softly, “the snow’s getting heavier, better get you home before we’re both stranded out here.” Juliet doesn’t tell him, but she wouldn’t exactly complain even if they do get stranded as along as she’s with him.

Here being a mostly empty street with only the dim lights from the street lamps and the occasional passerby to keep them company. The passerby’s don’t pay them any attention either as they walk briskly in an attempt to get out of the snowstorm as quickly as possible. They did pass a few small groups of people who came outside to enjoy the first snow of the year, but those people too occupied with making snowmen and taking photos to notice that they had crossed paths with two idols.

Despite the late hour, Juliet doesn’t want to go home. At least, not yet. She knows she should be back by now, a few award shows are scheduled for the end of the month, not to mention ATEEZ’s upcoming projects and appearances, so she needs all the sleep she can get to keep up with the practising. Chan definitely also needs the rest, yet he insists on walking her back to her dorm after their late night out before going back to his.

Juliet knows they’re both physically exhausted from their hectic lifestyles, but it is the unspoken knowledge that this is the only time of the day they have for themselves, truly just themselves, that make them want to stay out longer to retain a sense of normalcy. Over the years, she’s learnt to cherish the short-lived moments away from the cameras and prying eyes.

It’s knowing this that causes her to deliberately slow down her walking pace, because she wants just a little more time where she is simply Baek Minyoung instead of Juliet from ATEEZ, spending time with her friend Lee Chan and not Dino from SEVENTEEN.

Juliet has always believed that she is someone who warms up to people slowly with the exception of her members. But then Chan came into her life and effortlessly wove himself into the seams of her heart in a blink of an eye.

She thought they’d just be friends, she really did, until she found herself falling for the energetic boy with a heart of gold after a few secret outings much like this one. Before either of them knew it, their friendship had morphed into something more, though neither dared to make a move. After all, they know how fragile idol relationships can be in their industry—interfering companies, invasions of privacy, the slew of hateful comments that every idol couple cannot escape...

There were many nights where Juliet stayed up late thinking if it was easier to stay friends than to take the next step. Idol friendships, even opposite-sex ones, typically last longer and are met with less scrutiny, after all.

In those times, she also found herself wondering what her life would’ve been if she never came to Seoul and became an idol. She never thought that at one point in her life, getting a coffee or grabbing lunch with friends without having people shove their phones in your face would be a luxury, but here she is.

But if she never came to Seoul, she never would’ve met her members, the kind staff members who treat her like a younger sister or daughter, the amazing friends she met along the journey of becoming an idol...

She also wouldn’t have met Chan, so there’s that.

She once asked him during a phone call last year how he and his members cope with all the downsides that come with being an idol.

“It’s a learning process every day, I think,” he says thoughtfully. “But in general, I try to tell myself that even though bad things happen, there’s still a lot of good that outweighs the bad...I get to meet amazing people and do what I love for a living...These things are what I will cherish forever, the bad things won’t last forever, and it doesn’t do me any good to lose myself in them instead of the good.”

Juliet thinks about that a lot. Not that he has to know, or he’ll never let her live it down.

“—say about the first snow?”

Chan turns to face her with confusion written across his face from a lack of response. She blinks blankly at him. “What?”

He shoots her a look of mock exasperation. “Were you seriously not listening to anything I was saying?” he whines.

“Sorry, I spaced out!”

“I’m not going to be friends with you if you keep ignoring me like this!”

Before the boy has time to react, Juliet grabs a handful of snow from the ground and launches it at his face. He splutters for a moment, brushing off the flakes from his mask as she cackles, but her glee doesn’t last long when he reaches for a larger handful of snow.

Juliet shrieks and jogs away from Chan, which isn’t as easy as she thought given that her feet keep sinking into the layer of snow. “Wait, wait! Stop! I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!”

“You have to keep it down,” he laughs, gently tossing the snow back onto the ground, “we can’t be out here screaming and drawing Dispatch’s attention.” His tone is light and teasing, but the mention of the news—no, gossip—outlet makes her wrinkle her nose in distaste.

Though she can’t help but find it funny that if someone from Dispatch is actually currently following them—and she hopes they’re not because, hello? What happened to privacy and human decency?—all they’d get would be footage of them throwing snow at each other.

“You’re right,” Juliet says as they continue walking, “let’s not give them more business. What were you saying earlier, by the way?”

“I asked if you know what people here say about the first snow.”

Of course she does. Even if it has never been brought up in the dramas or movies she watched, her friends outside the industry have certainly gushed about the symbolism.

“No, not really,” she replies, feigning innocence. Playing dumb is fun, especially when you can also play the ‘foreigner card’ to back yourself up.

“It’s said that any lie you tell on the day of the first snowfall will be forgiven, and that any wish you make will be granted.”

Juliet frowns. “I thought that was for the first snowfall of the season, not the year. So technically, today’s not the first snow.”

Chan’s mouth drops open in a large ‘O’. “I thought you said you don’t know much about the first snow,” he accuses before shoving her lightly.

“Ah-ah-ah, you can’t be mad at me! You said any lie told today will be forgiven!”

“You’re the one who said today doesn’t count!”

“Okay,” Juliet relents, “this can be our thing, then. We can have two first snows each year.”

He laughs, and she can’t help but admire the sound of it. It’s just so contagious and never fails to put her in a good mood. “Deal.”

They keep walking until her building is in view. Admittedly, it’s a risky move to have him walk her all the way to the building’s entrance, as it’s known that people tend to wait outside idols’ dorms hoping to catch a glimpse of them, but Chan insisted that he didn’t feel comfortable with the idea of her walking alone in the dark at this hour.

“You know what else people say about the first snow?” Chan’s voice loses its usual playful edge. Instead, it sounds far softer and might’ve even betrayed a sense of nervousness.

Juliet doesn’t respond, but she turns to face his side profile to assure him that she’s listening. He keeps looking down at the ground, so she decides to silently admire the straight slope of his nose and the sharp angle of his jawline.

“People say that if you confess to someone during the first snow, you’ll stay together for a long time.”

“Is this your way of saying that you want to be with me for a long time?” she teases, but her grin drops when Chan looks at her with a solemn expression. “Oh. Oh. You’re being serious.”

He huffs out a quiet laugh at her wide eyes. “I know we’ve talked about this before, but what would you say if I told you I want to be with you? Officially, I mean.”

What would she say? A million thoughts are running through her mind, and she feels as though she’s been struck by lightning. How would the boys react? Their second year since debut was only a few months ago, would they think it’s too early? Would they be upset with her? Should she tell her company or let them find out? Would they tell her to break it off if they knew?

What if they break up? Will they still stay friends after that? Idol relationships can crumble easily given the nature of the industry and its habit of selling the fantasy of idols being ‘available’. Ten fingers wouldn’t be enough to count all the couples who broke up due to the pressures that come with this job—hectic schedules, obsessive fans, meddling companies, cyberbullying, the list can go on forever.

Is it worth it to take the risk when there seems to be a million reasons suggesting that it’d be better to stay friends?

But what does she want? Does she want to live basing every decision off of appeasing people who only know her from what they see on a screen?

Or does she want to live unapologetically with the people she loves and cares about, even if she has to risk her reputation and image simply for being happy?

Her answer couldn’t be clearer.

“I’d say that I’d like that a lot. Unless you’re secretly playing a prank on me.”

To say that Chan is flooded with relief would be a massive understatement. “You scared me!” he whines as he clutches his heart. “You weren’t saying anything for so long and I thought you were thinking about how to reject me!”

“I’m sorry,” Juliet giggles, eyes shining up at him. “Forgive me?”

A dramatic, reluctant sigh. “I guess I can make an exception for you,” he finally says.

Despite their masks hiding most of their faces, their eye-smiles tell the other just how happy they both are.

Deep down, Juliet knows that a simple snowfall cannot guarantee a fulfilling, long-lasting relationship. Perhaps a few years later, or even shorter if they’re unlucky, they may find themselves dealing with imminent heartbreak and separation.

But when her gloved hand—gloves courtesy of Chan because he somehow knew she’d forget her own— reaches for his, interlacing naturally as though they’ve done it a hundred times prior to today, she hopes that the universe will grant her silent wish that they can stay like this for a long, long time; that no matter how much they and their environments may change, they will still be able to find happiness and comfort within each other. She thinks it’ll come true.

After all, it is the first snow. Their first snow.

— bonus!!

a/n: eeeeeeeeppppp ngl this is,,,kinda cute if i do say so myself ;-; and yes this is also indulging my wish to have a cute boy (preferably park seonghwa or lee chan) confess to me on a snowy day ahdjhwjs 😔 again, thank you for reading and take care!!

feedback is always and highly appreciated!! whether it’s a reblog, a reply, or a short ask, it would mean the world to me 🥺💗 and remember that you are more than welcome to chat with me about anything in my asks!!

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newcaptainofsquad9 · 4 years ago

Text

I Can’t Handle You Being Back~Chou Tzuyu x black! fem! reader {3}

Parts: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Pairing: Tzuyu x reader

Summary: A few weeks have passed and you’re already set to make your debut with Twice during their comeback for Cry For Me and I Can’t Stop Me. Things with Tzuyu haven’t gotten better, and it’s about to get worse when the company forces you both to do a live together with the other foreign members. Can you and Tzuyu get through it?

Genre: Angst, Idol-Verse, Romance, Slow Burn, Hurt and Comfort, Best Friends to Lovers

Warnings: None, just a lot of tension and awkwardness between y/n and Tzuyu. ya know your usual angst

Word Count: 2, 750

Writer’s Note: Ok, so this chapter gets a bit juicy and there’s going to be a bit of jealously, along with a hint of romance, but that’s all I’m gonna say. Hope ya’ll enjoy it and please comment! I want to hear your thoughts and feedback. This took me like a month to write it, I’m not sure how I feel about it so :/ yeah.

Onces, Netizens and the overall Kpop community in general were lit a blaze with the reveal of Twice’s new member: me. Of course now being in a whirlwind of what is Twice’s schedule, I didn’t have time or the energy to read comments, dms or messages that I’ve gotten from them (thank God). Jihyo was also a factor in keeping me on my toes during long dance practice days, even though she wasn’t as hard on me as she was with the others. They weren’t too hard on me either, usually laughing at my mistakes and helping me if I missed my timing or not. The pressure was on: not only from the Korea public and Kpop community as a whole but because of Tzuyu as well. Her eyes would always be on me, then they roll as she waited for me to fix whatever I did. Even during my photoshoots for the album or promotional media, she’s got her eye on me. We haven’t even talked much since she blew up at me weeks prior. I’m not sure how to fix this really.

I decided now to ignore her, which is easier said than done, due to how close we are during performances. (She literally rests her head against my shoulder during Cry For Me, damn you JYPE!) Right now we’re back stage at Music Bank, awaiting for our rehearsals for our I Can’t Stop Me stage and she’s seated directly to my right, all that’s keeping her from me is my phone, along with Jeongyeon seated between us.

“Y/N, check out this meme,” Jeongyeon said as she practically shoved her phone in my face.

I chuckled lowly; Jeongyeon nudged me.

“That’s the only reaction I get?” she whined. “You always laugh at Chaeyoung’s.”

“Well that’s because she doesn’t use ancient memes,” I said. “The cereal guy is like five years old!”

“So, are you calling me old Y/N!” Jeongyeon said. “That’s disrespectful to your Unnie.”

She nudged my shoulder a few times with a sly grin and furrowed brows.

“No,” I groaned. “Your taste in memes are old.”

“Who’s old?” Nayeon said as she squished herself between me and Jeongyeon. “You better not be talking about me Jeong.”

“You said it not me,” Jeongyeon said with a snicker.

Nayeon didn’t waste any time in smacking her arm, making her laughter rise while I get up to avoid their playful conflict.

“How about you both make out already,” I teased.

The words make both idols separate with the quickness; their faces red as they sit up straighter.

“W-Whatever Y/N,” Nayeon said. “I should be telling you and Tzuyu doing that since all you both can do is eye each other.”

Now I’m the one recoiling, Jeongyeon did the same as Tzuyu’s attention is on Nayeon with a stare. Jeongyeon nudged Nayeon and pushed her back onto her feet.

“Everything was fine until you came along,” Jeongyeon whined. “Also, your make-up’s smudged a bit.”

Nayeon’s hands fled to her face, shock over took it in a matter of seconds.

“Look at your face!” Jeongyeon said as she erupted into another round of heated giggles. I smiled to entertain her, but stop immediately as Nayeon throws us a deadpanned look this time.

“You’re still a grandma,” Nayeon said as she walked away from the couch and towards Mina, Jihyo, and Momo, who held Boo in her arms.

“Ya! If I’m a grandma then what does that make you!” Jeongyeon yelled back. “Great grandma!”

I shook my head and returned back to my phone, my finger itching to open up Instagram yet I’m restrained by soft hands. Tzuyu’s next to me, close but not as close as Jeongyeon was. Her face in taunt, but not in the anger she aimed at Nayeon; this look is of warning.

“Don’t,” she said. “Didn’t Jihyo unnie say not to.”

“I-I just wanted to message someone back,” I said. “You hardly talk to me, why are you doing this now?”

Tzuyu rolled her eyes.

“I just don’t want you in a mood where you can’t focus,” Tzuyu said. “You mess up so easily.”

“Wow, thanks for reminding me,” I said. “I just have to check something with someone.”

Tzuyu pulled her hand away from my wrist, yet she doesn’t return to the other end of the couch.

“Who?” she said.

I side eye her for a moment while I open Instagram; my direct messages are 100 +, forcing my pulse to pound in my ears. The second I tap the arrow that brings up the messages, the swarm hits me:

How come out of all the Sixteen contestants, they bring back the worst one.

You won’t be a real Twice member. This has got to be a PR stunt from all the “cultural appropriation” allegations.

K-Pop isn’t for you, go back to America.

Who told you K-Pop was for you, you black bitch.

The negative messages began to build, and build, out-weighting the small clump of positives ones that came through. My hand tightened around my phone as anger and fear boiled up inside me: angry at myself for taking on this opportunity and fearful because of the hate. I expected this so, why am I feeling this way?

“Y/N?” Tzuyu said as she nudged her shoulder against my own. “Momo Unnie!”

Momo’s head whipped around to the couch, Boo sniffing every where from his position in her arms. Tzuyu’s voice also got the attention of Jihyo, Nayeon, and Jeongyeon as well. They flocked over to us immediately.

“Y/N, are you all right?” Jihyo asked as she knelt down in front of me.

I broke from the trance that the hate comments pinned me in and glanced up at the concerned faces of my bandmates, including Tzuyu this time. Her eyes cut to Momo, as Boo continued to wiggle in her arms.

“Unnie! Could she hold Boo, please?” Tzuyu whined.

Momo blinked at Tzuyu but did so anyway and placed the wiggly dog in my arms.

“Whoa, there,” I said as Boo sniffed down my brown blazer. “Hey there, Boo right? God you’re such a good boy aren’t you? Yeah?”

Boo sunk down in my lap licking my fingers as I pet him with my other hand. Nayeon was right, Boo really is a great stress reliever. Any dog is, gosh it’s been so long since I’ve petted or actually owned a dog.

“Are you ok now, Y/N?” Momo asked. “Boo really likes you, he could barely stop moving when Sana first held him.”

“Are you nervous about the performance?” Mina said as she walked to stand behind the couch with Sana, Chaeyoung, and Dahyun behind her.

“Yeah, being up there with you guys is extremely nerve wracking,” I said. “And I read a few of the comments online.”

“Y/N,” Jihyo groaned. “You shouldn’t have done that.”

“I know, know but the public’s perception means a lot, right?” I said. “The Knets are already giving me a headache.”

Mina frowned and placed her hands on my shoulders, then gently squeezed.

“You’ve been practicing so hard with us,” Sana said. “You’ll do amazing!”

I nodded, still taken a back by the comments but Boo’s yipping and the encouraging words from my band-mates eased my worries (even if it’s just for a little bit).

“All right girls!” a manager said as he stormed into the room along with my own manager, Miyoung who signals me towards her. “You’re going on in five!”

I rise, Boo whined as I did and Nayeon held her arms out to take him.

“Aww, Boo, Y/N will be back soon. OK?” she cooed.

I handed him to her before stepping over to a free corner of the room with Miyoung.

She gave me a tiny grin as she rubbed my arm, giving me a once over.

“You all right? It seemed like the girls were consoling you over there,” she said.

“I’m getting there,” I admitted. “I’ve been practicing choreography for weeks and I just saw--”

I paused at Miyoung’s face; it contorted in concern then exasperation.

“You read the comments, didn’t you?” she asked.

I glanced down and nodded.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t trying to let it get in the way of the comeback.”

“Hey, no Y/N,” Miyoung said. “You don’t deserve any of that. JYPE’s even taking the legal action against a lot of the comments, surprisingly.”

I blinked at her words.

“He’s actually keeping his word,” I said.

Miyoung nodded.

“And you’ve got a V Live to do after the performance once you return to the dorms,” she explained. “A welcoming type thing with the other foreign members.”

I hesitated at the word foreign, that means being close to Tzuyu. It also means being close to Tzuyu on camera.

“Is that all right?” Miyoung asked.

“Y-Yeah, I just don’t know how this would go.”

Miyoung brought me a bit closer as she wrapped her arm around my shoulder.

“Well you’ve got Twice in your corner,” she said. “And if anything or any one of them bother you, even another manager, come to me. Brittany insisted I keep an eye on you.”

I deadpan while my mind wondered back to how Brittany was ready to fight JYP in his own office if things grew awry.

“Y/N, c’mon!”

I turned toward the door to see everyone geared up and ready to perform, eyes steady waiting for me; Tzuyu even with a tiny grin on her face.

“Go on,” Miyoung said. “Have fun, don’t think too much of it.”

***

I messed up the shoulder move; I know I did and the playback remained in my mind throughout the drive back to the dorm and as we all settle into our rooms.

“Y/N it’s OK,” Jeongyeon groaned as she slumped against her bed. “You were off by a nanosecond. The only person who noticed was you.”

“Exactly! The Netizens will tear me apart even more when they notice and--”

“And that’s not important right now,” Mina said as she entered Jeongyeon, Momo and I’s room with Sana on her arm.

“V Live time!” Sana sung.

“Good,” Jeongyeon said. “Keep Ms. Worry away for a while. Mina let me play your switch while you guys are live.”

Mina shrugged.

“Sure, but you’re going to have to get it from Chaeyoung,” she explained. “She’s playing it in my room.”

“Ugh, you and your girlfriend,” Jeongyeon said as she rose from the bed.

I perked up at the term.

“Girlfriend? You guys are dating?”

Mina nodded.

“Of course we can’t be official,” she said.

“I know,” I said. “Things aren’t as liberal here as they are in America. I-I can’t believe those ship videos were right.”

Mina blushed a bit.

“That’s the only fan discourse Chae and I keep up with mostly.”

“You kept up with ships Y/N?” Sana asked.

“N-No! I was just curious that’s all! Anyway, let’s go get this live over with.”

Sana giggled as she led Mina and I to her room where Momo and Tzuyu sat in pajamas, holding stuffed animals tightly.

“Y/N! Don’t worry about the performance, you did amazing!” Momo reassured.

“Let’s hope the Netizens agree with you,” I groaned and plopped down beside Momo and Tzuyu on the floor.

“I thought you were supposed to stop worrying about the Netizens,” Tzuyu said. “It almost got in the way today.”

I turn toward Tzuyu and crossed my arms.

“So you noticed my screw up too?” I said.

Tzuyu rolled her eyes.

“Almost is the key word,” she groaned before she reached up from the bed next to us and grabbed a few stuffed animals. “Now which stuffed animal do you want?”

I blinked at the choices Tzuyu presented: a purple flamingo with oval shaped eyes or a pink alpaca with a square shaped eyes and a rather odd expression.

“I’ll take the flamingo,” I said.

Tzuyu handed it off as Sana gasped.

“He suits you Y/N,” she said. “Two cuties and wow, I didn’t know you hung out with Sooyoung Y/N!”

“Who?” Tzuyu asked.

“Joy!” Sana squealed

“Sana what are you talking about?” I asked as she leapt on the bed and showed the phone to us.

We both peered down at the picture in front of us; I remember this one (sort of) from a few years back when I co-wrote a few tracks for Red Velvet and hung out a bit with Sooyoung, we were at a beach some where in LA. I’m sure her fans didn’t pay it much mind but since I’m an idol now along with her, I’m not sure how anymore.

“Look, lot’s of fans speculate you’re both dating now!” Sana said. “So, is it true?”

I’m the one rolling my eyes this time, Sana tossed a flirty grin my way and wiggled her eyebrows.

“No Sana, why are you being so ridiculous right now.”

“Come on Y/N,” Momo said as she nudged me against the shoulder. “Sooyoung is pretty hot. You sure you didn’t--”

“Unnie, don’t,” Tzuyu warned. “Y/N said she didn’t so we should just leave it at that.”

“Tzuyu’s right, we should start the V--”

Mina was cut off by Miyoung and a few other managers step into the room.

“Sorry we’re late!” Miyoung said. “We brought snacks!”

Momo’s eyes grew large. She nearly snatched the plastic bag from Miyoung, pulling out a large bag of BBQ Lays before passing the bag to me. I reached in and pulled out a green tea flavored Kit Kat (it’s been a minute since I’ve had one).

“Thank you, uh are you sure we can eat this on camera?” I said.

“Yes Y/N,” Sana said through a giggle. “Gone are our Sixteen days, plus this is our chill V-Live time, fans love to see us just kicking back and having fun.”

“Everyone huddle in!” Miyoung instructed. “Make sure you’re close so the viewers can see!”

Momo squeezed herself closer, and to my surprise Tzuyu did the same; she hasn’t been this close since Cry For Me dance practice, her perfume is too strong. It made me a bit light headed, or is it just the feeling of her close again? Probably both.

“Here Y/N,” one male manager said as he handed a phone off to me. “Hold this so you guys can keep up with the comments .”

Miyoung rested her phone up on a stand before looking to us.

“You guys ready?”

Everyone nodded, all but me.

“Y/N?” Mina asked as she slipped a hand on my shoulder.

“As ready as I’ll ever be,” I said and put on my best smile.

“That’s all we can ask for,” Miyoung said. “Now, we’re live!”

The moment she pressed record, everyone around me perked up to flash their own smiles.

“Hi Onces! We just wanted to hang out with you guys and welcome our new member to you officially, Y/N!” they said in unison.

I waved and smiled enough to reveal teeth.

“Hi Onces! I’m glad to be here!”

My eyes couldn’t help but flock down to the phone in my hand, even with the other four members reading it as well. There’s a part of me that told me not to, but I had to stop thinking like that. I’m a member of Twice too, no matter what they think or say.

The oncoming comments read:

Hi Y/N!!!

So pretty!!

Hi from Brazil!!

Why is she here? Why couldn’t Nayeon take her place?

She doesn’t belong in Korea with the beauty of Twice.

Do you guys name your stuffed animals?

My heart hammered and thumped painfully hard in my ears; instead of stare blankly I chew on my Kit Kat in silence.

“Well I haven’t named this one yet,” Sana explained.

“Manager-unnie!” Mina called, waving to Miyoung. “We can report this comment here!”

“I got it,” Tzuyu said as she took the phone from my hands.

I watched her through a mouthful of chocolate as her brows stay focused; she turned back to the camera with determination as she handed the phone over to Mina.

“Y/N belongs here,” Tzuyu declared to the camera. “And if you don’t want to watch her with us you can leave.”

I almost choked at her words; I heard that correctly, right? I was dreaming, right? Tzuyu must have picked up on my stress and looped her arm around my own; she didn’t pay it much attention to it as she fell into more easy going questions with Momo, Mina and Sana. I did as well, soon enough.

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thelargefrye · 5 years ago

Text

BE MY BABY. ateez

── summary. in an attempt to delay meeting your soulmate, you somehow speed up the process by meeting them as soon as you move to a new country.

── genre. soulmate, kind of implied poly!ateez

── word count. 1.5k

── requested. @thatgirlangelb

── message. reader is a foreigner. listening to wonder girls’ “be my baby”

you had always heard about the feeling you would get when you meet your soulmate, however; you had yet to experience it. deep down you were kind of scared of meeting your soulmate, thinking that they would reject you – even if there was only around a 20% chance that your soulmate would reject you. you still had a right to worry, even if your friends and family sort of made fun of you for being scared about something like that.

you figured moving to a different country would lessen the chance of meeting your soulmate and possible delay the fated meeting. so you moved to south korea and managed to land a stable job five months after moving there. the job was a staff member at an entertainment company, kq entertainment, and you would be working more as tech. you thanked your past self for taking so many computer classes and learned how to do lights and sounds for your high school drama class.

kq trusted you with making sure that when their idols film, everything records smoothly. you had met the group’s managers right before you were to meet the group themself. ateez. you had done some research about the rookie group and to say you were impressed by them would be an understatement. you were fan of kpop, but you tended to have listened to more of the older groups than the newer ones.

when the boys stepped into the room, you felt like you got hit by a truck. your whole body felt hot and your hands started to clam up, what the hell was this feeling. your legs feel like jello and you start to wonder if you sudden got sick. you meet eyes with the leader of the group, hongjoong, and you notice how his eyes slightly widen before he covers the shocked look with the calm one he had on before.

hongjoong leans over to the male next to him, seonghwa if you remember correctly, and whispers into his ear. he looks shocked for a moment before turning to the leader and hongjoong just nods before seonghwa looks away. his eyes meet yours for a split second before you look away to one of the managers that were talking to the boys, introducing you to them. he then allows you to official introduce yourself.

“hello, i’m y/n, i hope we can all get along,” you say with a smile. all the boys smile at you and introduce themselves twice, once fully as a team and then a second with quick single introductions.

“you’ll be seeing y/n around a lot since she’s helping with filming and other tech stuff, so you better treat her nicely when working with her,” one manager says and the boys all nod before they are soon told to go to practice.

when the boys were alone in the practice room, san was the first one to speak up, “did you all feel it too? when you looked her?” the other seven nodded.

“do you think she felt it too?” mingi spoke up this time.

“i think she did, but i’m totally sure,” hongjoong said.

“we should talk to her then!” wooyoung said and the other member except for the two oldest agreed.

“i think if we all try to confess at once then it might scare her away,” seonghwa says. the younger members didn’t want to agree with what he said, but deep down they knew they couldn’t just go and confess that ‘hey, you’re our soulmate!’ especially after just meeting you. they would have to take everything slow if they wanted to do it right with you.

。。。

it’s been around six months since you started working at kq, and you’ve continuously enjoyed every day of it. you’ve found yourself enjoying working with ateez and how all the boys have been nothing but nice to you. sometimes you would still get the feeling like you did when you first met them, but you simply brushed the feeling away thinking that your body was overreacting because they were good looking, nothing else.

“y/n!” speaking of which, you turn to see wooyoung running over to you, “let’s go each lunch! i bet you haven’t eaten yet right?” his smile is so contagious, you just can’t help but smile as well.

“i haven’t yet, just let me finish this up and we can go eat,” you say and wooyoung nods, his smile never falling. he sits down and watches as you mess around on the computer, uploading the footage that was shot yesterday. once it was done, you turned to wooyoung to let him know you were done.

wooyoung was quick to drag you away and down to the cafeteria that the company had. having lunch with wooyoung was soon becoming a daily thing that the two of you did, sometimes the other members would join and other times it would just be you two.

“y/n,” someone calls your name earning your attention away from wooyoung was telling you a story about mingi and yeosang. “i’m sorry to bother you but i’m having trouble with my computer, can you come help me. i really need to get this report done,” it was another member of the stuff.

“uh, sure. give me five minutes?” the male staff member nods his head before thanking you and turns to leave. you look back at wooyoung to notice him sending an unhappy glare towards the other male, a frown in place of his usually bright smile.

“wooyoung?” said male quickly looks back to you, his smile returning but you take note that it might be a little forced unlike usual. “i’ll see you later okay? sorry, our lunch got cut short today,” you say, reaching out to lightly pat your hand on top of his. you feel a small jolt almost like a shock of electricity, but you brush off.

“okay, see ya later, y/n,” wooyoung says, a little sad at the fact you had to leave.

once you leave, wooyoung is quick to make his way towards the others. “guys! i think– i think one of the staff members like y/n!”

“what!?” seven voices shout in unison all looking at the black haired male in shock.

。。。

“wow, thanks y/n, you’re a life saver,” the male said once you had fixed the issue with his computer.

“of course! its my job!” you say with a smile. “if that’s all then i’ll be on my way then!” you say getting ready to leave him to his work.

“uhh, actually there is something i wanted to ask you,” he says quickly stopping you in your tracks. you give him a nod for him to continue. “um, i was wondering if maybe you would like to–

“y/n!” a rather loud voice calls scaring not only you two but some of the other staff members around you. you turn to see mingi speed-walking over to you and you’re about to say something to him before he suddenly picks you up and throws you over his shoulder before running away. the sudden actions left the male staff member puzzled.

“mingi! put me down! what are you doing!?” you say, lightly smacking his shoulder as he continues to carry you through the building before ending up in the practice room with the other ateez members.

once mingi puts you down, you are quick to smack his arm a few times, an annoyed look on your face. you sigh before turning to look at the other members, slightly surprised by what you were looking at.

“um... what’s this?” you ask, taking in the simple yet heartwarming decorations. san and wooyoung were holding two heart-shaped balloons and hongjoong is holding a small, cutely decorated cake which makes you wonder when they had the time to suddenly get these items.

“y/n, we’ve been thinking about doing this since our first meeting back when you joined the company, and the feeling we all get when look at you or gently brush hands makes only confirms what we’ve been hoping for...” hongjoong starts and you know the feel he’s talking about. the warm sensation when you make eye contact and the jolts of electricity when you brush hands.

you had scared about meeting your soulmate, afraid you weren’t good enough to be destined for someone. “we think your our soulmate,” the youngest says taking you out of your thoughts.

“i think... i think i am too,” you say quietly, suddenly feeling your face heat up as you look away from them and down at the floor. “to be honest, i came to korea because i was scared of meeting my soulmate and not being good enough for them, but i guess coming to korea was only fated to happen because that’s where i meet them.”

“does– does this mean you’ll accept us?” it was the eldest this time to speak.

“if that means you’ll accept me as well.”

“of course we accept you,” mingi was the one to speak as he picks you up and hugs you tightly. the others are quick to join in on the hug and you can’t help but finally feel truly happy at knowing you found your soulmates and they found you.

#poly ateez #poly ateez x reader #ateez x reader #ateez fluff #ateez soulmate au #ateez hongjoong #ateez seonghwa #ateez yunho #ateez yeosang #ateez san #ateez mingi #ateez wooyoung #ateez jongho #polyteez.

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veiledsilver · 4 years ago

Note

Top five moments you've felt like the universe was messing with you.

Oh boy everyone get ready this is a long list. In descending order, from mildly funny looking back on it to "oh god oh shit oh fuck":

5. Catfishing: College Edition

In 6th grade, I decided to apply to colleges early to see how they were like. I was scared that if they knew I was too young, they'd arrest me. So I created a gmail account as my persona, a white 12th grader named Emilie Alexander. Emilie was planning to go into nursing, dating a high school linebacker named Kyle Kenderson, and deathly allergic to bee stings. If she even came near a bee, she would die.

This part was of the utmost importance.

See, I was constantly paranoid that one day, the jig would be up- I might forget that my fake last name was Alexander. Or the college dean might come knocking at my door and tear up my home in his mad search for Emilie. If that happened I would fake her tragic death, presumably caused by one big fucking bee.

I secretly collected my information. What nearby states were the prettiest to visit. Which colleges were the safest and most affordable. How often they held courses that I liked. In my emails with colleges I tried to sound as mature and professional as possible.

Then, one day, a college member asked me what high school I was in, so they could check my records.

My blood froze.

It was time to bring out the bee.

In response to their question, I sent an email that was like this:

"Dear Mr. McLaughlin, I was a proud graduate of- ugh! Ah! Kyaaaa! Uwaa! W-w-what's this... huge goddamn bee doing here?! Eek, pardon my foul language! It's just that, as I told you earlier, being stung by a bee would kill me.... and now it's stung me thrice (three times)!!

What do I do?! I can't die... I've always wanted to attend your beautiful college...

But this is... the end...

Mr. McLaughlin...

*looks at you sadly*

Tell... my mother... I loved her...

*dies*"

He never responded, probably because he was rendered speechless, but I never touched that account again.

My private gmail for fun stuff like tumblr still has "Alexander" as a surname, though.

4. Wild and Authentic

Alright. Alright. So. My art teacher in middle school.

Right off the bat, they endeared themselves to the tumblr art kids- they proudly used they/them pronouns, dyed their hair vibrant colors, deeply encouraged OC creation, and was chill with any art style even if it was anime. Mx. Mason was very cool, except for one thing.

We had complete artistic freedom when it came to their assignments, EXCEPT FOR ONE THING.

Drumroll, please.

Take a deep breath if you must.

Ready?

...

Cats had to have extremely distinct whisker pores.

YES, they believed that modern depictions of cats were too streamlined. Too... idealized. As a cat owner themselves, they were convinced that society's vision of cats did not do their feral feline ancestors justice. In making their faces flawlessly smooth-furred, we were stripping the cat of its true nature.

I found this out the hard way, when I was drawing warrior cats fanart for class (it was of Firestar cuddled in the arms of an orange haired anime catgirl who was his reincarnation in my first ever comic series, Warriors Neko Desu! ♡ Heart Academy Dokidoki).

Mx. Mason came over to look at my magnum opus, and I expected them to have their socks knocked off at my artistic talent. They lifted up my drawing for all to see, and I smugly leaned back in my seat.

Only for them to launch into a passionate lecture about how, in neglecting to draw whisker pores on cats, I was DENYING THIS FICTIONAL CAT OF ITS WILD AUTHENTIC SELF.

My friends absolutely lost it when I told them this story, and there was a period of time when all our discord nicknames were wild and authentic too.

As for Firestar and his counterpart Hoshineko Orenji-chan, I never did give them wild authentic whisker holes, but that's to be expected of a kittypet, I guess.

3. Stan Jungkook Or Whatever

A couple years ago, my family and I flew to Seoul, South Korea, to visit our relatives and teach me more about my heritage. It was very nice! I got to visit shrines and festivals and palaces, and I was in awe that this was what my ancestors had once seen in their daily lives.

Then, when we went to the modern side of Korea, I realized just how much I didn't fit in.

It was clear that I didn't know how to act, or how to speak Korean, and I spent my days fumbling around and getting scammed multiple times by salesmen. But I clowned myself the most... during an interactive event with kpop stars.

They had this experimental event where holograms of the boys would sing onstage and dance in place of the actual idols. Before the show began, girls could stand in booths that scanned their appearances, and holograms of THEM could dance onstage with the hologram boys.

I didn't know this.

When Cousin Ae-cha told me to step inside one of the machines, I thought I'd be hilarious and stand backwards, so it would scan the back of me instead of my front. As I walked out, I saw other girls putting on their best makeup, cutest clothes, and most expensive accessories, and I slowly realized that I was in danger.

But the danger didn't come until halfway through the concert, where the boys looked eagerly off-stage and a holy staircase appeared and all the hologram girls descended from heaven. There were cherry blossoms. There were roses. There was me, among the crowd of beautiful airbrushed girls, walking backwards.

I felt the judgemental gazes of twenty girls and their mothers.

Each boy danced with a girl, who got a cute animated moment with special effects, and sang about how they found a dream girl to have a true love romance with. Finally, all the girls vanished except one, and it was me.

One of the boys didn't dance with any girls, and now he was all alone in the rain, feeling dejected that HE did not find his true love girl to have a dream romance with. Then the rain stopped, the sun came out, and I emerged. Still backwards.

He was thrilled and sang about how my face (that he didn't see) stole his heart, and now everyone in the audience was giggling, and he slowly brought me very close to kiss me... but because I was backwards, his nose was cutely nuzzling my hair.

The audience members- at least the adults- were now laughing their asses off. His lips met the back of my head, and together we vanished into the wind.

I'd say I couldn't show my face there ever again, but I never did show my face, so... hm...

2. Horrid Little Temptress

If I wasn't a minor, I'd need a drink before starting this story. Sadly, I cannot drown my sorrows- and neither should you after you hear this, because it's only fair.

Mrs. Appleby was my Spanish teacher in like, 9th grade. Even the wild and authentic art teacher thought she was insane. Appleby forced kids to brew tea for her and yelled at them when they didn't get it right, and I thought she had a chronic squint until I realised she just did that to mock me and my Asian eye-folds. She forced us to watch Dora the Explorer to "absorb knowledge." Everyone fucking hated Mrs. Appleby.

But the worst thing she ever did... was during the school festival.

See, whenever she's angry, she zooms right into kids' faces to scream at them. Her wrinkled flesh would blot out the goddamn sun and all you see are her bloodshot yellow eyeballs so victims just stayed rooted to the spot like cornered animals or something similar. This is important.

Because when she was sampling her own brownies (read: hoarding them so no one else could eat them), one parent foolishly decided to grab one and she thought it was a student and she grabbed his wrist so hard she could've nearly snapped it and... and... zoomed into his face.

Except she underestimated his height and kissed him by accident, but it was more like her mouth was sucking in his face like a vacuum.

His wife was shrieking like an ape. His kid, my classmate, saw his social life flash before his eyes.

In her defense, she did not mouth to mouth with him on purpose and afterwards she cried in the bathroom and when I foolishly followed her in to comfort her, because I am a teacher's pet through and through, she snatched the paper towels I got for her and wailed that she was a-

A-

HORRID LITTLE TEMPTRESS.

If I had decided to not be kind, I never would've heard that string of fucking words. But I did. And I paid for it dearly. The end.

1. Violence IS The Answer, Sometimes

Thomas, my dearly detested.

Back in sixth grade, I used to have a crush on him because he had the surfer boy look with nicely tanned skin and pale blond hair and the clearest aquamarine eyes I've ever seen. He also liked surfing and swimming. He seemed like the perfect little trophy waifu except for one absolute dealbreaker.

He and his parents were extremely conservative and so, when I told him I liked him, his response was basically "haha no you're a [slur] and would probably eat my dog."

I was horrified and ran away to cry. But then, by the next day, I decided I needed to punish him. Thomas walked in before class started and I was waiting for him with these hands. I kicked him so he doubled over, slammed his face into his chair's seat, and quickly clambered on top of him to SIT ON THE BACK OF HIS HEAD. He started shaking and twitching and trying to pry me off, but eventually he went limp and stopped moving.

I thought he fell asleep, but Mohammed, another classmate who was bullied by Thomas, told me that Thomas might never wake up again (not that he was very sad about this. I didn't know until later, but Thomas said slurs at him too).

While I was sitting on the guy, he'd straight up passed out from the lack of oxygen.

Screaming and crying, I told our homeroom teacher that Thomas suddenly fainted, and she was the type of Caucasian that thought all little Asian kids were sweet and innocent, so it didn't even cross her mind that? It might've been me? Who sat on his head when she walked in?

He was sent home early that day. I had to go to a different school next year because Thomas's mom threatened legal action. The only reason I didn't get punished further was because my rich cousins out-Karen'd her and donated a huge amount of money to the school to keep them quiet.

Anyway, I never did anything that insane ever again, because something like that is enough for a lifetime. My cousins made it clear they would never back me up again. I was sure this whole event would be put behind me, too.

But last fall, during my first day of online learning... who did I see in my zoom meeting... BUT THOMAS! I had my mic and camera off, but the moment he saw my name, his face went pale. His soul would've left his body, but then it would've gone to hell, so it wisely decided to stay inside.

Still, out of shame and embarrassment, I never turned my camera on for the rest of the school year.

#asks #there you have it #i feel like I'm confessing my sins to the pope

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shra-vasti · 5 years ago

Text

Run to you

Pairing : Kwon Soonyoung x reader

Type : Soulmate au

Genre : angst to fluff

Warnings : none

Word count : 3-4k approx

Soulmate au type : In which there's a counter of steps on your wrist which shows how much away/close you are from your soulmate.

Soonyoung leaned back on his seat dipping his one hand inside his pocket to take out his phone and attach it with earphones to block the voice of Seungkwan and the constant complaining of Jihoon. He closed his eyes and let his mind wander as they head towards their next schedule.

It was currently 11 PM at night and the shooting was going to take up whole night to finish since the comeback show was grand. They had prepared extra performances as a thankyou and surprise gift for carats for their support.

He was being quiet silent compared to his usual self, he knew that. Ever since Seokmin found his soulmate two months ago there has been an addition to their usual hangouts. It wasn't that Soonyoung hated the newest addition to the group, he really adored them like his own sibling. Their group was still very much the same aside from the constant lovey dovey moments of Seokmin and his mate.

Seokmin, despite being the member with lack of soulmark managed to find his soulmate before the rest of the members. He was really happy for the younger as he had witnessed him frequently breaking down thinking he would never find his soulmate. Soonyoung couldn't be more happier.

Unconsciously his eyes darted towards his right wrist where a counter of step was inscribed and the ridiculous amout of step count written over it, indicating his soulmate was no where near him.

He sighed and closed his eyes, ever since Seokmin found his mate his time divided in between the members and his love. It wasn't upsetting but Seokmin, Seungkwan and him had always been together with their dumb instincts, did everything together and hence it would take some time for him to adjust to his lack of presence during their free times.

The counter shows the change every half n' hour but it's been months since the counter has shown any significant amout of change. He just hoped his soulmate was in good condition and as desparate to meet him as he was.

"Soonyoung put the skin tape on your soulmark we will arrive at the building in few minutes." his manager said as he pat his leg to get his attention. He nodded at his manager and reach out towards the tape to hide his soulmark.

Hiding their soulmark wasn't something new for idols like him. Fans tended to be more interested in them if they didn't have any private life. Accessing to one's soulmark could potentially be a threat to their respective soulmate cause you never know what a sasaeng fan might do and then again some of the fans perceive their idols dating to not being serious enough for their career and bash them so hiding the soulmark was one of the best decision in the kpop community.

▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️▫️

"Say the name, Seventeen. Thankyou everyone for your hard work." the boys cheered and bowed to the staff. The shooting for their stage performance was completed and they just had one more scheduled before they get two schedule free days to relax. The sun shines coming through the windows indicating that the sun has risen.

"Just one more schedule." Soonyoung heard Seokmin mumble as he type furiously on his phone. He shook his head at the younger one and made his way towards him.

"Someone's excited." he patted Seokmin's shoulder to gain his attention.

"I am going to spend these whole two days with them." he said dreamily and jumped few times to show how happy he was.

Soonyoung gave him a tight smile and then both of them proceeded towards their van. They sat on their respective seats with Jihoon immediately drifting off to sleep, Seungkwan chatting with the manager, Seokmin on his phone probably chatting with his mate and himself staring outside of the window. His wrist still covered with the skin tape, too tired to remove it and attach it again.

The sudden halt of the van make his eyebrows furrow in confusion but Seungkwan beat him by asking the manager about the sudden halt. The manager informed them about the staff being a little bit late for the preparation and that they had some time to utilize for themselves so they opted to grab something from convinience store before rushing back towards the next schedule.

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You were tired from long journey from London to Seoul with your friends to surprise your family after being away from them to complete your graduation. It has been years of busy life and you ached for the hospitality of your family who resided in Korea.

It wasn't only the affection of your family you were anticipating but the constant descending of your counter indicating that you were also getting closer to your soulmate. You might meet them on the very first day of arrival you thought. The thought itself sending butterflies inside your stomach and you couldn't stop the excitement forming at the pit of your stomach. You thought you would throw up.

You were clear that your soulmate was from Seoul as you looked at your counter. You were nervous but you were sure you were going to cross path with them sooner or later. You along with your friends arrived at the airport and the chillness made you bring your sleeves till they covered your whole palm. You shook your head and decided to do as your friends please and momentarily stop watching your counter to subsidise the overwhelming feeling inside you otherwise you knew you would throw up.

A mini van stopped right in front of you and both of your friends dragged you towards it. You put your belongings inside the trunk and made yourself comfortable on your seat.

"I really want to eat something cause I can't wait for few more hours unpacking the things, chatting with family and then having the dinner. I will might as well faint at that point. Let's stop to eat something beforehand." your friend complained.

She was right and you felt your own stomach grumble. You nodded your head at her and she motioned her driver to stop at nearby street so they can have something to eat. The van stop few minutes later, you put your earphones away grabbing enough money from your purse and put your phone in your pocket, too tired to hold a single thing in your hand. This food might as well give you some strength to chat up with your family after the flight.

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You had finish your eating and decided to buy something for your family before you head home. You look around to find a convenient store nearby and you dragged your friends along with you towards it.

"What should I get for mom?" your friends asked as she moved from asile to asile with you looking through the opposite shelf.

"Your mom has a sweet tooth might as well buy some sweets for her." you replied as you nonchalantly brush your hands against the packs of snacks kept on the shelves.

Your concentration moved from the packs to the hysterical laugh of your friend, you eyed her in disgust before looking around you to see if your friend disturbed someone but there were one to none people so you sighed before going towards your friends.

"Help me I can't reach the bottle and she just keeps on laughing at my shortness." your friend pouted at you. She was the shortest among all of you. You chuckled before shaking your head and reaching towards the bottle making your sleeves slide down enough to show you the counter on your hand.

Your eyes widened at as the counter dropped from 6 digits to 4. Your soulmate was present somewhere near you, in the same premises and even before you could think your legs started moving as you ran outside of the store.

If only you had seen the counter few minutes prior you would have been able to witness that they were in the same convinience store as you. Your friends shouted behind you asking where you were going but you ignored them. You can always tell them afterward, right now you were the nearest you have ever been to your soulmate.

You looked at your counter again and you contemplated on which side to go since you were right in the middle of street full of different stores, the counter was steady. Maybe they were waiting for someone.

You decide to go with your instincts and started running towards right side slowly, the numbers of your wrist decreasing. But after sometime suddenly the numbers started increasing. Didn't your soulmate notice the proximity? You questioned yourself before increasing your pace.

You ran and ran till you saw someone run in the same direction you were running, away from you and as you looked at your wrist you figured your step count appropriately matched with the pace of the stranger. There was no one else running like the maniacs other than you and them.

You stopped running feeling it hard to breathe as you saw their figure get inside a van. So your soulmate is a male. But why did he run away like that? Didn't he check his counter or did he despised the idea of soulmate? Many things were running inside your head as you felt yourself getting surrounded by 2 pair of hands taking you back to towards the van waiting for you to take home.

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"Yah, Hyung why didn't you tell us that we don't have much time for break. We were doing things so leisurely and went so far from the van that we had to literally run like crazy to get to the van." Soonyoung complained as he tried to catch his breath. He was covered in sweat, his left hand clutching his heart and the other holding the head seat of the driver's seat.

He look towards his hand to notice the tape has been almost tore off his skin due to his sweat and he reached towards it to peel it off completely as their manager and other members made themself comfortable in their seats and starting the van.

"Hyung stop." Soonyoung yelled as soon as his eyes landed on his counter. The digits were so low that for a minute he thought he was hallucinating. He couldn't even think straight, this had to be a joke. His soulmate was so near to him.

"You know Soonyoung we can't." manager replied as he continued to drive to the location. "Whatever your emergency is we will see about it afterward. We can't be late for the next schedule. It's really important."

The manager didn't give him another chance to speak and sped off towards their next destination. Soonyoung just looked towards his wrist, watching as the step count started increasing as the van continued to go. His heart felt heavy, you were so near him.

He showed his arm to Jihoon who was sitting next to him, a grim expression on his face as he explained how he may have miss finally being with you if it wasn't for the schedule and the skin tape applied to his hand.

For most of the ride and during the schedule he was even more upset, constantly sighing even though he wasn't that tired. The members were quick to notice and Jihoon told them about his condition making his members give him sympathetic looks and pats on his backs whenever they were near him.

His mind was just wandering. How was he supposed to find you? It wasn't like he could communicate with you through the counter. He was uncertain if you were in Korea for a short time or a long one. He was panicking that he lost the only chance he had.

He also thought about how unlike him, you may have noticed the change in your timing. You may have tried to look for him when you noticed the change. Were you angry and heartbroken when you noticed he was going away from you? What was the least step count between both of you, he wondered. It was very high when he went for his schedule so he guessed you may have fled to Korea for some reason during his all night comeback show shooting and he begged the heaven for you to stay here longer for whatever reason you came till he finds you.

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"Will you stop grieving and do something about your situation?" Soonyoung look up to see a frustrated Seungcheol standing in front of him. "If you keep looking at the counter they aren't going to appear in front of you, you need to do something about it. What if they are here only for a short time. It's not like they know who their soulmate is that they will find you in no time."

"He's right." Another, rather soft voice came inside and Seungcheol moved so Soonyoung could see the person, Seokmin's soulmate.

"What do you want me to do? It's not like I know where they are." he said as he banged his head on the headboard in frustration.

"There are hundreds of possibilities right now but you can't just sit here and not make a move. If that day I wouldn't have gotten out of my grandma's house I wouldn't have met Seokmin. There wouldn't have been an us if I stayed inside that day. You never know what will happen. I could have return to back to my home and never met him but I did. All because I didn't sit in one place."

He didn't know how the sudden determination rose inside of him. Whether it was because he too wanted to find you soon or because of the words spluttered out by Seokmin's mate as they have an example of their own life. They were right nothing was certain, if Seokmin can manage to find his mate even after being rid of soulmark then why was he grieving, he atleast has a soulmark rather than nothing.

He got up suddenly surprising the other two person present inside his room as he grabbed his jacket and car keys and made a run towards the door.

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You were currently taking a walk outside, it had became a habit of you to take a walk at least once in a while if not frequently. But this time you had a reason. Your mother asked you to get some of her stuff from the store as your father and brother were gone out for some time.

It wasn't like you had something better to do. Your family welcomed you and they were truly very happy to see you back, your mother even cried. But she's just that dramatic, you laughed internally at that. You told them about your time in London even though you basically talk to them everyday and how you came back because you missed Korea.

You were thinking of finding a suitable job here in Korea itself. You didn't plan on going away soon which you were planning a night earlier when you thought about how your soulmate ran away from you. There were hundreds of possibilities. He could have been busy with something or some sort of emergency came up that he had to leave like that but you couldn't help the other possibility of him not wanting you. He may have walked passed you and look at the counter and might have regretted that you were his soulmate.

You shook your head, you can't get insecure like that. He had an emergency at that time. An emergency, you repeated those two words like a mantra. You have been thinking about that incident more than you should have cause in the end he was your fate. There was a reason you two were tied together.

A loud screech of car's tire made you stop dead in your track as you put your hands on your ears in an attempt to subsidise the erry noise. You slowly stood up straight hands red since you forgot to wear your gloves as you looked in front of you.

You blinked at the man standing mere feets away from you, was he smiling at you? You looked back to see if there was anyone else but people loved to stay inside in the comfort of their house rather than going out in the chill, you were the one he was smiling at.

You took a step back involuntary when you saw him step near you, your heart beating a thousand miles per minute if that was even possible. He was adorably handsome but that doesn't mean you will let him come near you. He stopped in his track as he noticed you moving backward, the smile previously on his face vanish as he looked somewhat disheartened.

He put both his hands up like he was telling you he surrendered that he wasn't a threat and so you did. His one hand came in contact with a sleeve of another as he pushed it down and pointed at his wrist and then pointing at you.

You followed his moments, reaching towards your right hand pulling the sleeves till your wrist was exposed. You gasped after noticing the digits of the counter. The step count was so low that it brought tears in your eyes. There wasn't anyone else in here, was he your soulmate? Then suddenly you felt the digits become lesser and lesser and lesser, you look up to see him running towards you a big smile forming on his face and tears dripping from his eyes. Was this a dream?

But the moment his arms encircled you, pulling you off the ground and spun you around as you yelp in surprise and hug him tight, you were certain that this wasn't a dream. This reality was so much beautiful than any dream you ever had.

"God, you don't know how much I've been dying for this moment." he said as he wiped your tears and sighed contently. He kissed your forehead briefly not letting you go but stiffen suddenly. You pull away from him as you looked at him confused.

"Why?" you asked frowning.

"I'm sorry. It must be awkward for you since I didn't even introduced myself and kiss you." he scratched the back of his neck.

"It's not." you said as you told him your name. "I introduced you myself now it's your turn." you hugged his waist after that. He seemed to hesitate for a bit. Trying his best to find a way to tell you who he was.

"Do you know Seventeen?" he mentally facepalmed himself, what a best way to introduce yourself. He pulled away from the hug to look at you in the eye.

"Are you some sort of kpop idol or something, no wonder though you are so handsome you could easily pass as an idol." you deadpanned as you wintenssed as the red on his ear tips spread across his cheeks. He felt proud that you found him handsome.

"Yeah I am an idol. And I go by the name of Hoshi of Seventeen but that's my stage name. You can call me Soonyoung." he smiled as he pressed his lips on your forehead briefly and taking his time to enjoy you in his arms. He mumbled about how he will tell you more about him and his idol life afterwards. You smiled unconsciously as you hugged him even tighter.

"Why? Why did you run away from me that day?" you asked as you looked at him. You wanted to know what happened cause you dispise uncertainty.

"I'm sorry." he sighed as he cup your cheeks. "I was running late for a schedule and I looked at the counter too late. I tried stopping my manager but he didn't listen. I didn't look at the counter earlier because I had a skin tape over my soulmark to prevent it from being seen by other. I'm so sorry. I regret it so much." he huff as his forehead met yours.

"I was so upset because I thought you don't want me." you whispered looking at his eyes. You felt him visibly get hurt at that. He shook his head, his arms bringing you more closer to him if that was possible as he told you again and again how it wasn't that case and how glad he was that he had found you.

You hugged him tightly feeling the warmth of his body more comfortable than the chillness of outside. Now you knew that he wanted you just as you wanted him and you couldn't ask for more. You were both in each other's arms now and that was what that mattered the most. All of the other obstacles would be taken care of cause you knew you have plenty of time with your significant other and you couldn't wait for the life ahead the two of you.

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"I woke up thinking of you and went outside. I was walking but started running just like my heart. Even though I don't know where you are, I'm following the compass of my heart. Slowly looking through the map in my heart."

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flooffybits · 4 years ago

Text

How Are You?

Idol: Kim Jisoo (Blackpink)

Forced into facing her past, Jisoo knows she promised to let you breathe. But fate had other plans for both of you that it just wouldn’t let her rest until it was satisfied with what it wanted.

A sequel to Hope Not

☕buy me a coffee☕

Jisoo sat stiffly at the side, watching as her members happily spoke to the production team and listened to the presentation when it began, each girls showing looks of determination and excitement as the time passed by.

But the eldest of the four couldn’t seem to relax or tear her eyes away from the person that sat a few seats ahead of her. The same person who currently had the maknae’s hand in their own and explaining the draft of the concept they had for the girls' new album.

After two long years of no communication, she found herself sitting in the same practice room, the exact practice room where she had broken your heart without remorse and lost all the love and support that she’s ever wanted and needed.

“So, if you girls have any questions or suggestions, Y/n and I are available whenever you need us.” Teddy explained after he wrapped up the presentation. “You already know my rules, but since Y/n is new to the team, I want you to get used to her when working. I know you’re friends but during work hours, be professional, got it?”

“We know, oppa. No need to tell us that.“ You waved the man off with a playful roll of your eyes, causing Jennie to giggle and Lisa to grin while Chaeyoung gave you an amused look.

Being someone who worked in the company for so long, it made sense that you were well acquainted with most of the people working in YG, and those who were new would eventually learn about you and, one way or another, you would befriend them as well.

It was the reason you had gotten so popular despite being a new producer. Artists and producers who have worked with you have nothing but nice words when it came to you that everyone eventually learned your name a little after your breakup with Jisoo.

When news of you finally becoming an official producer came out, people were ecstatic and many artist have shared the same sentiments in wanting to get the chance to work with you.

“I was just saying. I know you girls get into a lot of trouble when you want to.” Teddy stated and Lisa gasped in mock offense. “What are you looking at me like that for?” She yelled, making you all laugh and Jisoo can’t help the way the sound makes her heart flutter.

“We’ll behave. Don’t worry.”

“Be sure of that, L/n. This is your first big project, so be serious.” Jisoo catches the slight twitch of your lips before you were forcing a smile and nodding your head. “You got it, boss.”

When they’re done for the day and back at the dorm, Jisoo heads to her room and collapses on the bed, exhausted after the mental rollercoaster she had been on.

Seeing you again, all smiles and carefree as ever had sent her back to when you were happy together. She remembers waking up to your sleeping face or a cute little message when you didn’t spend the night together. Being able to be so close yet so far was such a torturous thing, she thinks.

She had to work with you despite your past, but it looked like her presence no longer bothered you, so she’s unsure how to approach because it was clear that she really wasn’t over you.

“You okay, unnie?” Jennie’s voice reached her ears, and as she looked over, she spots the younger girl standing at her doorway. When she’s allowed further into the room, Jennie makes her way to the bed and lays next to her, hugging Jisoo in a comforting manner whilst the older girl let out a sigh.

They’re quiet for a moment until Jisoo’s voice penetrates the silence. “She looked great today.” Jennie hums in agreement, knowing full well that this was something the other needed to let out. “She seemed happier. I’m glad her and Lisa are able to talk like they used to.”

Another round of silence before Jennie hears the hesitant question falling from the older woman’s lips.

“Do you think we could ever be friends again?”

And with the past they’ve had, Jennie answers her the only way she knows without lying. “I don’t think it’s impossible, but you’re going to have to show some effort.”

Effort.

The word rings in Jisoo’s head time and again when she sees you at work or in the company in general.

It was the one thing she lacked when it came to you and the sole reason of why she had lost you in the first place. While she put effort in everything else that she did, it seemed that her work put her personal life aside.

But with this new album and having you as their producer, she wants to think that she could make it work this time around, even if the outcome of it is different compared to when she first approached you.

“Jisoo?”

The call of her name snaps her out of her thoughts and she looks up to meet your kind eyes directed at her and her heart skips a beat since this has been the first time she was able to make direct eye contact with you over the past years.

You offer her a small smile, almost as if you never resented her in the first place, which you never really did. Even with all the heartache, she’s been a part of your life and you were still thankful for her.

“Sorry, what was that?” She asks carefully, embarrassed that she had been caught spacing out, but you shake your head in assurance before gesturing to the recording booth. “It’s your turn.” You inform her and the woman nodded her head before scrambling to her feet and making her way over.

Chaeyoung casts her a worried look, but she merely smiles before shutting the door behind her.

Setting the papers on the stand, she goes through it one more time before she hears your voice from the speakers. “Just give me the signal once you’re ready, alright?” Sucking in a deep breath, the woman shuts her eyes for a brief moment before she opened them again and gave you the thumbs up.

Working with you wasn’t as awkward as she thought it would be. The only awkward thing was on her part, because she often stumbles over her words when she’s around you and she realizes how distracted she is when you’re in her peripherals.

But you’re patient enough in doing this with her and the girls.

When Teddy said to separate your personal life with your professional life, she’s envious on how well you can detach yourself from everything when you’re working.

But then again, she realizes that she’s the cause of that as well.

This was her firsthand experience of the change she’s instilled in you from the breakup and she feels her stomach churn as she watches you work. So, she tries to do the same in hopes of distracting herself from that guilt and focuses on the album instead.

“You need to let up. They’re a Kpop group, Teddy, in case you’ve forgotten.” Jisoo pauses right outside the room when she hears your voice coming from inside. “I know that, but the girls’ popularity is bigger outside of Korea. It’s going to help boost that.”

“I know, but to only give them english songs?”

“Look, I know that you’re worried about Jisoo, but she can handle it.”

The sound of her name causes her brows to pinch together as she listens to the two of you continue. “I know that she can handle it, but you have to understand that she still struggles with it, too! And then what? You’re barely going to let her sing?”

“What we can’t give Jisoo in lines, we can always make up in the video.” Teddy tells you, but it wasn’t enough to calm you down. “Jisoo is a part of Blackpink, Teddy! She isn’t there just for display! You’re wasting her talents because all you think about is making your selfish vision instead of letting them properly grow!”

“In case you’ve forgotten, I’m in charge of this project. If you step out of line, I can have you out of here and you can forget about working with any big artist out there.” Jisoo’s heart sinks as she holds her breath, fists clenched tightly as she hears what’s going on.

“If getting rid of me is what it takes to give her proper recognition, then by all means.” She hears footsteps coming closer and Jisoo quickly straightens before she took a few more steps back. But she was still close enough to hear your voice just as the door opened.

“And by the way, I don’t need your help to work with other artists, Teddy. You were the one who asked me because you wanted people to see you with a good image.”

Slamming the door shut, you let out a huff before moving to leave, only for your eyes to land on the woman standing only five feet away from where you stood.

“Jisoo, what are y- did you just get here?” You ask her and she sees the anxiety and frustration swimming in your eyes after what just transpired.

“Are you leaving?” She asks softly and your face falls when you realize that she’s heard your conversation with the other producer. “No. I’ve been working here for god knows how long. I’m not going to let someone, who has a stick up their ass, drive me out.” You say with a nonchalant shrug of your shoulders.

Her eyes dart from your face to the door before she closed the distance between you and grabbed your hand, catching you off guard when she runs to the opposite direction of the recording room.

"Hey! Jisoo, wait!"

But your words fall upon deaf ears as the woman leads you all the way up to the company's roof, not at all stopping until you both arrived and the door closed, leaving the two of you alone and away from anyone who could possibly see or hear you.

"Why did you... what was that for?" You panted out while hunching over, gasping as you try to catch your breath and Jisoo does the same.

Truthfully, she wasn't sure why she dragged you all the way up here. All of her thoughts just told her that she should get you as far away from Teddy as possible, even for just that moment. So the first place that came to mind was the roof.

"You were..." She shakes her head before lifting her head to look at you. "Why did you do that?" She asked, and you know what she means already just by looking at her.

You knew her enough to understand what she was asking you, so clearing your throat, you stood properly before looking away. "I just think that you deserve to be treated properly in the group." You admit quietly.

"But you didn't have to."

"I know, but I wanted to. Everyone is asking for you, and they're right. They haven't been giving you the spotlight like they should be, and if-"

"And what about you?"

Her heart was beating a mile a minute as the words came out of her mouth. She wasn't thinking, but it was just her longing to find out that maybe, in some weird way, you still thought about her like she did you.

You're quiet as you refuse to look at her face, your thoughts being a mess as you cross your arms over your chest in an attempt to make yourself seem small that Jisoo absolutely hates it.

"What about me?"

She sucks in a deep breath because it was now or never - make or break. "What do you think about me?"

Again, you take a while to properly gather your thoughts and Jisoo stays watching you, waiting for you to finally talk to her outside of work.

"I think you deserve more."

Jisoo doesn't speak when she sees that there's more you want to say. Running your fingers through your hair, you let out a deep breath. "They're working you to the bone, but they don't give you enough credit. You have talent oozing out of you, but they're keeping it under wraps for reasons I don't know!"

While you were so busy letting everything out, you don't notice as Jisoo takes small and slow steps toward you.

"It's just... it baffles me. They talk about giving you everything, but they don't give you everything. And it just hurts to see you be pushed aside and-"

With a gentle hand, Jisoo caresses your cheek when you choke up. Tears of frustration had subconsciously fallen from your eyes and she takes you into her arms when you release a shaky breath.

"You're getting so worked up over nothing, Y/n. This isn't anything new." But you shake your head roughly when you pull away to look at her. "That's my point! It shouldn't even be normal, because they should have been fair to you from the very start."

The idol fixes you with a stare before she asks, “Why do you care?”

Your stare right back at the girl for a few seconds before you let out a scoff. “Just because we broke up doesn’t mean I stopped caring about you.” You tell her while wiping your cheeks. “Yeah, I was hurt and it sucked, but you were dealing with things completely different from me. The way you cope is completely different from mine.”

“But the way I love you has always been the same way you loved me back.” She counters, and this time you’re stunned while she licks her lips and inhales sharply.

“I know I never showed it, but Y/n, I have never once stopped loving you. You mean the absolute world to me-”

“Stop.”

“No. I want you to hear this.” She’s firm with the way she speaks, eyes hard and you can tell that she would not be backing out of this. “Yes, I said everything in present tense because... goddamit, I’m still in love with you! I thought I could leave everything behind because you obviously did, but then we started working together and I get to see you every day and I just... I’m sorry.”

“I’m so sorry that I never showed you enough how much I love you. I’m sorry I took you for granted. And I’m sorry that I hurt you.”

Your expression softens as the woman before you crumbles into a vulnerable mess. You know that Jisoo was never one to cry, but seeing her now with tears freely streaming down her cheeks, you can’t help but feel sad at seeing the usually peppy woman in such a state.

“Jisoo... I already forgave you, even before I left that night. It hurt, it really did, but I understood and you made me understand that not everyone is going to give the same treatment we all give. In the world we live in, people are selfish, but I know deep down that you aren’t.”

You lift your hand up to her face, pausing to get a proper look at her, before sighing as you wipe her tears away. “I’m not telling you that we can pick up where we left off, but we could always start again.”

Your words cause her ears to perk up and her eyes widen. “W-What?”

With a smile, you pull back after making sure her face is free of tears. “I guess if time isn’t such a bitch, we could do things right, don’t you think?”

“I could work with that.” She breathes out, a smile finally beginning on her face when you offer her a hand. “So, how about we start by getting to work?” You ask teasingly and Jisoo rolls her eyes after giving you a shove, but she takes your hand afterwards.

“Am I supposed to watch out for Lisa though?” She asks playfully and you look at her from the corner of your eyes, chuckling as you shrug your shoulders. “I mean, who knows? She is cute and has a great sense of humor.”

“You’re such a player!” She laughs while you walk down the halls and back to the recording room, your own laughter joining in at the little joke.

But even with how everything went, Jisoo could tell that she put a lot more effort, both in this album and the relationship she’s trying to recover, whether it was just a friendship or more.

Because at the end of it all, you were alright. And that was what mattered.

#girl group #girl group scenarios #girl group imagines #blackpink #blackpink jisoo #blackpink lisa #blackpink jennie #blackpink rosé #jisoo #Kim Jisoo #jisoo scenarios #jisoo imagines #bp jisoo #blackpink scenarios #blackpink imagines

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kpop-zone · 5 years ago

Text

8:24 | Irene

Genre: angst, fluff

Wordcount: 5,665

Request: Hey I am really the feel for angst, so can you have like an argument with Irene and a lot of angst happens there but then eventually Irene is the one who apologizes and a bit of fluff?

A/N: I had planned to post a short scenario on her birthday, but then i couldn’t stop writing... oops. But oh well, happy belated birthday to this queen.

„I’m home!“

You yelled when you opened the door to your apartment, but you didn’t even know why you still bothered. You knew that you would be met by nothing but silence. Your wife only came home to sleep at night. Although sometimes she even failed to do that and slept in Red Velvet’s dorm, because they had a late practice or something.

You sighted loudly and made your way to the bedroom where you changed into some comfortable clothes before starting to prepare dinner in the kitchen. Like usual you set the table for two, only causing you to get even more depressed when you ended up eating alone. To distract yourself from the twitching in your heart, you started to scroll through Instagram.

You didn’t want to be mad at Irene. Being apart from you was exactly as hard for her as it was for you. Often you had to cheer her up, because she felt guilty for not being the wife that she wished she could be. But you assured her every time that you had known from the start what you would sign up for.

Nevertheless, you couldn’t stop yourself from getting sad sometimes. It was only 8 pm on a warm summer evening. The sun was still fighting its defeat in the sky and when you looked out the window, you could see that the streets were still buzzing with life. You would give everything to be able to grab Irene and drive to the Han river to have a romantic stroll or to get some ice cream.

Your mind started to paint different scenarios of the two of you in your head, causing your heart to get even heavier. But you quickly shook your head to stop yourself from daydreaming. Just because you couldn’t enjoy a normal wedded life, didn’t mean that you couldn’t enjoy the best years of your life at all. There was nothing that you couldn’t do on your own.

Therefore, you quickly put on a pair of jeans, your shoes and a light jacket before leaving your house, although a little voice in your head told you not to go outside. You had gotten used to the fact that your wife was famous and that she couldn’t leave the house like she wanted to. What you hadn’t got used to, however, was the fact that people knew you too by now. After all, you dated Korea’s original visual. After your wedding, Irene had announced that she was married to a non-idol, because she was tired of the rumors about her dating fellow idols. No one knew who you were though.

But then some smart fans had started to put the puzzle pieces together. Irene and you had dated for a long while, so of course, you had accompanied her on her tours or went on dates together occasionally. And although there weren’t any photos that were showing the two of you holding hands or kissing, you could be seen in several pictures at the airport or at events in the background. It didn’t take long for the netizens and sasaengs to figure that out.

And from one day to another, your face was everywhere in the internet. People started talking about you and when you left for work the following day, some people suddenly stared at you, trying to figure out why you looked so familiar. You were somewhat famous yourself from that day on.

But you still hadn’t got used to that fact. Irene always told you to not leave the apartment without a disguise. Actually, the best would probably be to never leave it at all, if not for work or any other absolutely necessary occasions. Nevertheless, you didn’t listen to your wife.

You were young and married to a person that was rarely home. What were you supposed to do at home all this time? Therefore, you often just met friends downtown or went shopping. Till now, nothing catastrophic had happened yet. Most times no one recognized you. And even if someone did, you always had luck till now and could flee the scene, before anyone could take any pictures or attack you.

Therefore, you ignored your bad conscious another time when you shut the door of your apartment and happily called an Uber to bring you to Hongdae. You were tired of being alone and you knew that you could never feel alone in that part of town.

But apparently you had pushed your luck today. You had already strolled through several clothing stores, shopping for something to lift your mood, when you suddenly couldn’t get rid of the feeling that someone was watching you. At first, you chose to ignore it, but then you eventually tried to catch a glimpse behind you. Only a few steps apart from you, you could see two girls that seemed to be looking at the jewelry in front of them. But when you turned around another time, you caught their gazes flickering over the edge of the items in their hands and eventually landing on you.

“Shit.”

You muttered under your breath.

Quickly, you left the store, but when you turned around as soon as you were outside, you realized that the girls had followed you. And it seemed like your misfortune only started now. They were joined by some other girls in school uniforms and shamelessly pointed at you.

“That’s Y/N. The one married to Irene.”

You could hear their shrill voices, causing you to speed up.

But apparently, they didn’t care about your discomfort.

“Y/N!!”

One of them suddenly yelled, making all the heads of the people around you turn. Your face turned bright right and you ducked your head low. Suddenly it felt like everyone was staring at you. You needed to get out of there. With big steps, you walked to the place where the driver had dropped you off earlier. But it seemed like the damage was already done.

“Y/N can you give this to Irene?”

“How is it to be married to Irene?”

“You’re not even pretty enough for her.”

Comments reached your ear from left and right, causing you to almost run. Quickly you typed in the number of one of Irene’s drivers. You definitely couldn’t risk an Uber driver to leak your address. Gladly he picked up after the second ring and was willing to pick you up.

You needed to turn several circles around the block, because as soon as you stopped, several people started to swarm you and to give you gifts for your wife. But at last, you received a message, telling you that he was waiting for you. When you finally saw the car, you sighted in relief and basically dove into it.

“Thanks for the lift.”

You grinned sheepishly once you were seated, feeling a little embarrassed that you had to be saved like some unexperienced teenager.

“You know that Irene will kill you right?”

The driver said dryly while glancing at you through the rearview mirror and your grin died down.

He was right. Irene had warned you often enough, but you had always played it down. You knew how concerned she was about you and that she didn’t want to be involved in any scandals. But could she blame you for wanting a little distraction? You remained silent the rest of the ride, thinking about how long your wife would need to figure out that you had carelessly left the apartment. The news were probably already on some fanpages.

After the driver had dropped you off at your apartment complex, you looked on your phone.

10 pm

Irene was probably not home yet. At least you hoped so. When you opened the door to your apartment, you were proven to be right. No one was home.

Having enough excitement for the day, you quickly changed into your pajamas and went to bed. You couldn’t stop your brain from working though. Curiosity seized you and you wanted to know whether you had made the news yet. You opened Twitter, starting to scroll through your wife’s tags and you didn’t have to search long until you actually could find pictures of you.

Some posts were nice. People complimented your style or were happy to see that you were still down-to-earth, despite dating one of the most famous idols in Kpop. Some posts, however, weren’t that nice and you knew that Irene would be very upset by them.

Hopefully she would never see them. Especially one video was alarming. You hadn’t even realized it in the heat of the moment, but some of the fans had actually shoved you in the turmoil. If your wife saw that, she would probably snap. She was really overprotective. You just had to hope that she would be too busy to check her phone the next days.

Your hopes were crushed though, when you could suddenly hear the front door of your apartment slam. Someone wasn’t in a good mood. Quickly you put your phone on the nightstand before grabbing a book and pretending to be immersed in it. No ten seconds later, the door to the bedroom opened and your clearly upset wife was staring at you.

“Can you explain to me what that is?”

She asked sternly while walking closer to you with her phone in her hand.

The screen showed -of course- the worst video of all and you gulped.

“That’s a really flattering angle, don’t you think?”

You tried to lighten the mood, but Irene only seemed to be even more angered by your statement.

“This situation is not funny, Y/N. Do you know what could have happened? Do you see how they are pushing you? How often have I told you, not to go strolling around the city?”

You felt like a kid being scolded by their mother. And you couldn’t even defend yourself this time.

“That’s it. You’re not going to leave the apartment from now beside for work until I figure out a way to protect you.”

Irene stated determined, but you looked at her with wide eyes.

“Excuse me?”

You asked perplexed, but Irene only crossed her arms.

“What? You won’t listen to me. And I won’t just watch how some sasaengs insult and hurt you.”

Her intentions were good, but you could still feel anger starting to bubble inside of you.

“Irene, I’m an adult. I think, I can look after myself.”

You responded but your wife only scoffed.

“I could see that today.”

She said cynically, making you even angrier. You wouldn’t let her treat you like some child.

“What do you expect me to do? Stay in the apartment all day by myself, while my wife is out there enjoying herself?”

You spat out, suddenly feeling all the piled-up frustration rising to the surface.

Irene’s expression changed in a matter of seconds. Her annoyance faded and was replaced by hurt instead.

“Do you think I want to be away all the time?”

The bewilderment in her voice was unmistakable, but you had reached a point beyond reason now. First, you were left alone all the time and now she wanted to restrict your independence?

“You sure don’t look like someone making an effort to change the situation.”

You scoffed, causing Irene to look at you with her mouth half-open in disbelief.

“I-I think we should continue this conversation tomorrow when everyone has cooled down a bit.”

She stuttered in a desperate attempt to prevent this fight from escalating even more.

But you didn’t want her to be rational right now. You wanted to hear from her that she wouldn’t leave you alone anymore. Irene, however, just kept standing there, staring at you wordlessly.

Disappointed, you huffed before leaping to your feet and grabbing your pillow and blanket.

“What are you doing?”

Irene asked perplexed but you just stormed past her.

“I can’t stand seeing you anymore.”

You yelled over your shoulder before angrily plopping down on the couch.

With your arms crossed and a pout on your lips, you laid down, trying to fall asleep, although you knew that you would need at least an hour to stop your mind from racing.

Irene sighted as she got into the empty bed. She knew that it had been irrational to forbid you to leave the apartment. You weren’t her property after all. But she didn’t have the capacity to worry about you these days. Red Velvet was preparing for their tour while recording new songs. There were just so many things in her head right now. She needed to be able to trust you that you didn’t get yourself in any trouble.

Nevertheless, she needed to apologize tomorrow. It hadn’t been right to snap at you like that. Her plan was to make you breakfast and talk calmly about a solution to this mess. But after she had groggily turned off her alarm clock the next morning after having only slept a maximum of two hours due to the lack of warmth next to her, she found the living room empty.

“Y/N?”

She called your name, but no one answered.

Your shoes were gone too. You must have already left for work. Which was unusual, because you normally always left after her. Irene could feel a headache starting in her temples and sat down at the kitchen table to eat some breakfast, hoping that this would make her feel better. Although she knew too well that she could only feel better after talking to you.

Therefore, the rest of the day was a pain for her. She couldn’t concentrate and was annoyed by her members without a reason. Everyone was glad when the producer decided to let them go early, because he saw no point in working any longer as nothing productive was the outcome anyways.

“I’m sorry girls. But I need to get home to Y/N.”

Irene quickly excused herself, before letting the driver bring her to your apartment. She was thinking about buying you chocolate or some other apologetic gift on the way but decided against it in the end. She was sorry, but she also felt that she was right to some extent.

Nevertheless, she thought that she could soften your heart, because today would actually be the first time in weeks that she came home before 8 pm. Irene smiled lightly to herself when she imagined how you would try to be mad at her, but couldn’t contain your happiness when you saw her walking through the door. But Irene’s plan was defeated when she entered the apartment and heard another women’s laugh.

Taken aback she silently made her way to the origin of the sound and found you sitting in the living room with someone she didn’t know. You were grinning widely, and the woman held her belly while laughing, but as soon as you saw her, your expression turned to stone. The woman followed your stern gaze and her eyes eventually landed on Irene.

She looked at you questioningly and you cleared your throat.

“Yuri that’s my wife Irene. Irene that’s my colleague Yuri.”

You shortly introduced the two women that were looking at each other curiously.

“Your wife?”

Yuri asked a little confused and Irene felt irritation starting to bubble inside of her.

“Yeah, you know that I’m married.”

You chuckled while looking at her questioningly.

“Oh yeah, of course. I just though the two of you had split up, because you kinda never talk about her anymore. And you always whine about how much you hate to be alone.”

Your gaze snapped up at Irene and you looked really uncomfortable. Realizing that she had grazed a touchy subject, Yuri quickly shut her mouth and coughed awkwardly.

“Um... I just remember that I have a dinner engagement.”

She stammered, but you quickly leaped to your feet when you saw that she wanted to leave.

“You don’t have to go, Yuri.”

You said apologetically, but Irene saw that a little differently.

“I’m sorry, but I think you have to.”

She said while crossing her arms and Yuri quickly nodded before walking to the exit.

You followed her to send her off but returned a few minutes later with a stern expression.

“I’m sorry. Aren’t I no longer allowed to have friends over as well?”

Your voice was quivering in anger, but Irene didn’t react to your statement. She didn’t want to fight. Yuri’s comment from earlier was still playing in her head on a loop and Irene’s heart ached every time, she thought about how you must have felt all this time.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.”

Irene sighted while sitting down on the couch and massaging her temples.

You stayed quiet for a while, but then she could hear you sitting down on the armchair across from her.

“For what exactly, Irene? Kicking my friend out of our apartment, forbidding me to leave the house or neglecting our relationship?”

Your words felt like a slap in her face and Irene didn’t dare to look at you.

“For everything. But I’m just trying to make everything right.”

Irene almost whispered, causing you to sigh.

“I know you do. But maybe there is no way to make this right.”

You responded and after hearing your tone, Irene’s eyes snapped up.

“What do you mean?”

She asked, feeling panic rising inside of her.

“You’re not a bad person, Irene. I know that you love me, and I love you. But maybe that’s not enough. How can we call this a marriage? I barely even see you. Something must be missing.”

You explained, causing Irene’s breath to hitch in her throat.

“No, no, no. There’s nothing missing. What are you talking about? Y/N, what are you trying to say?”

Tears started to fill her eyes, but you remained silent.

“Y/N...”

She breathed, but you suddenly got to your feet.

“I need to think. Please don’t follow me.”

You said coldly, while already making your way to the door.

Irene quickly stood up, but you continued to walk away from her.

Like glued to the spot, she kept watching you disappear although she wanted to cling to you in order to hold you back. Something told her that you wouldn’t be coming back in the next hours.

Unfortunately, her gut had been telling the truth. It was already past midnight when Irene decided to go to bed although you hadn’t returned yet. Who knew if you would be coming home tonight at all? She had been drifting in and out of sleep for quite some time till she finally heard your key turn in the lock. In a matter of seconds, she was wide awake.

She decided not to move an inch though, because she was afraid that you wouldn’t come to bed if you knew that she was awake. She could hear you getting ready in the bathroom before the bed lightly dipped, indicating that you had crawled into bed next to her. A sigh left her lips and she sat up halfway to be able to look at you. You were laying on your back and staring at the ceiling.

“Don’t give up on us, Y/N. We haven’t even really started our life together yet. We just have to make it through this, then we can do whatever we want in a few years.”

Irene begged you, but you didn’t look at her and remained silent.

“Please, Y/N. Give us a last chance.”

A sob almost escaped her lips, but she quickly pressed her lips together, not wanting to paint out the worst scenario yet.

Seconds passed that felt like hours, but eventually you sighted.

“Fine. I’m cooking tonight. 7 pm, Irene. If you’re not there, I’ll know what this relationship means to you.”

Irene gulped thickly because of the seriousness of your words, but at the same time she wanted to squeal in joy.

“I’m going to be there. I promise.”

She answered while her heart pounded like crazy. She couldn’t mess up today.

You turned your back to her, and Irene had to hold back the urge to scoot closer to you and hug you from behind. It was too early now, she had to prove her love first. But soon she could finally hold you in her arms again.

Although there weren’t a lot of hours left until Irene had to get up for work again, she final fell into a deep slumber, knowing that you were laying next to her. She only woke up when the annoying sound of her alarm clock made her jolt awake. Immediately she turned it off and looked to her side to make sure whether you were still there.

You were now facing her, but your eyes were still closed while your chest fell and rose in a steady rhythm. Irene had always loved waking up before you to be able to watch you sleep for a while. You looked so peaceful and content; not at all like someone who had been hurt by his wife so much that they were considering a divorce. Softly Irene ran her fingers through your hair, making sure not to wake you up. She couldn’t give up on you. Not if it meant to never be able to wake up next to you ever again. Irene kissed your forehead swiftly before swinging her legs out of bed and getting ready for her day.

During her schedule, Irene took a glance on her phone at least four times an hour. She was anxious that she would miss your date. The minutes dragged on although Red Velvet had one appointment after the other. With every second her worries began to increase.

Her schedule was supposed to end at 6 pm toady, but because some appointments didn’t end on time, everything was shifted back. It was already 5 pm and there were still two meetings left. Nervously, Irene pushed the conversations forward, hoping that she could still end her schedule on time. But things didn’t work like they were supposed to. Red Velvet was in the studio, recording a song and the producer just wasn’t satisfied with anything the girls recorded. He made them sing their parts over and over again.

6.15 pm

Irene almost let her phone fall in shock when she checked for the time after the producer had finally left the studio. She still had to drive home.

“Ok, girls. One more meeting, then we’re done for the day.”

Her manager smiled encouragingly, and Irene looked back and forth from her phone to her manager.

One more meeting? She could never make it on time if she stayed a minute longer at the company. But she also had responsibilities as a leader. Her members were counting on her, as was her company.

Irene needed to make a decision. What was more important? Her career or you?

“No, I’m leaving. Now.”

She suddenly blurted out, making all the people in the room look at her with wide eyes. There had never been a day that she had cancelled a meeting. But she knew that this was the right decision.

Proudly Irene grabbed her jacket and bowed to the staff and her members before turning on her heel to leave the room. She would always choose you. Above everything.

After a long time, her heart felt a lot lighter as she was getting into the car. Normally, she had a guilty conscious for being late. But today, she was on time and was looking forward to a nice dinner with you. A smile was playing on her lips while she typed a message for you to let you know that she was on her way home.

Just when she was about to send it, however, the car came to a halt.

“Why are we stopping?”

Irene asked perplexed and the driver looked at her apologetically through the rearview mirror.

“I’m sorry, Miss. But we’re stuck in traffic.”

He gestured to the front and Irene gasped in shock. There were hundreds of cars blocking the road.

“No, this can’t be.”

She muttered desperately while checking the time once again.

6.30 pm

“Can’t you take another route?”

Irene asked although she knew on her own that there was no other way.

Her driver truly seemed to be sorry as he shook his head with a sad look in his eyes.

Why did the universe hate her so much? Irene buried her face in her hands, praying to whoever was out there to magically make the cars in front of her disappear. But 20 minutes later, they were still pretty much standing on the same spot.

“When will we be home?”

Irene hoped that her driver could give her a good message, but his silent sigh told a different story.

“30 minutes if we’re lucky.”

He responded and Irene closed her eyes in disbelief.

Shakily she grabbed her phone and chose your contact to call you. She pressed her phone to her ear in hopes to be able to make her hear your voice instead of the ringing sound. But after a while, your voicemail ended the call. Over and over again, Irene dialed your number, but you just didn’t pick up.

7.01 pm

By now their car had finally left the blocked road, but Irene had also lost her nerves. Your warning had been clear. If she would be late, you would give up on your relationship. Nervously she tapped her foot waiting for the car to finally reach its destination. She was almost home, only one more street. Suddenly, however, the car stopped again.

“Why are we stopping again?”

She almost yelled a little exasperated but could see on her own that they were stuck in traffic again. Irene was fed up though. Nothing else would get in the way between her and you.

“Thanks for the ride. I’m walking the rest of the way.”

She mumbled while already opening the door and exiting the car. Her driver said something to her, but Irene couldn’t care less. It was all or nothing now. Life or death; at least figuratively.

Not caring about all the people throwing confused looks at her, Irene ran to your apartment where she impatiently pushed the button for the elevator. Her anxiety had filled her whole body though, so she was too impatient to wait till the elevator finally arrived. Quickly she swung open the door to the staircase and sprinted up to the right floor. When she finally reached the door to your apartment, Irene was completely out of breath, but she didn’t give herself the time to recover.

Without wasting another second, she unlocked the door and headed straight to the kitchen. But it was empty. Her heart was already pounding in her chest from the running, but now it was close to jumping out of her chest. Maybe you were in the bedroom. With rushed steps, Irene searched the rest of the apartment, but you were nowhere to be found. Desperate, she ran back to the kitchen, hoping that you had somehow appeared in the meantime. But all she could find was her favorite dish and a beautifully set table.

Tears started to form in Irene’s eyes, and she grabbed her hair in despair. She started to turn in circles, because she didn’t know what to do now, when another thing suddenly caught her attention. Irene stopped dead in track, staring at the counter.

“No, no, no. Please don’t.”

She mumbled while stumbling to the counter.

Shakily she picked up the item that had caught her attention. It was your wedding ring. There was nothing that could hold back Irene’s tears from falling now. She clasped the ring tightly and pressed it against her chest as loud sobs escaped her mouth.

“Y/N...”

She breathed, hoping that you would appear behind her out of thing air and wrap your arms around her.

You couldn’t, however, because you were gone.

“But not without a fight, Y/N. I won’t let you go that easily.”

Irene suddenly mumbled to herself when she realized that she had nothing to lose now. She had to try everything.

With the determination of winning you back in her heart, she turned on her heel and ran back the way that she had just walked a few minutes ago. This time she opted for the elevator though and took it to the underground garage. Of course, it was highly unlikely that you hadn’t left the building already, but Irene just had to try. Where else would she start searching for you?

Already feeling her lungs rebelling against the constant exertion, Irene ran one last time to get to your parking spot. After she had rounded the corner, she could see your car still standing there while the motor was running. Although her legs already felt like jelly, she quickened her steps another time.

“Y/N!!”

Irene yelled, not knowing what for, but her desperation, fear and sadness forbade her to think clearly.

When she reached the car, she saw you sitting motionlessly in the driver’s seat while tears streamed down your face. Desperately Irene banged against the car window.

“Don’t leave me, Y/N. I beg you.”

She cried out and your sobbing increased.

Irene tried to open the door, but the car was locked, and she rested her head against the glass in defeat.

“Please. Let me explain. I wanted to be here on time. I know this sounds like an excuse, but I was really stuck in traffic. Let us talk, Y/N. Please.”

She begged and you finally moved. You reached out to push the button that unlocked the doors but stopped shortly before touching it. Your eyes met hers and Irene looked longingly at you. You were torn. She could see it in your eyes. But the fact that you were still here also gave Irene hope. Apparently, you hadn’t completely given up on her. There was still something that was holding you back.

“Please, Y/N.”

She asked another time, causing you to finally press the button.

Quickly Irene ripped the door open before you would change your mind.

“Jagi, I’m so sorry. I swear that I was stuck in traffic. I might be a terrible wife, but I’m not a liar. I wanted to be here. I would never give up on our marriage. I love you, jagi. Please come back to the apartment.”

Your tears were still dripping down your chin and Irene automatically reached out to wipe them away.

“Let’s have dinner. And we can watch a movie afterwards. You can pick. Or you can go to the bedroom and I’ll sleep on the couch if you don’t want to see me. Just please don’t leave.”

Irene was cupping your face by now and her tears were leaving her eyes at the same pace as yours.

“Why did you have to be late?”

You suddenly sobbed and Irene couldn’t hold back her urge to pull you against her body. She wrapped her arms around your body and ran her hand in circles on your back in an attempt to calm you down.

“I know that I’m stupid. But I love you. I will never leave you. I promise.”

Irene tried to comfort you with her words while you were clinging to her body.

The two of you kept standing there in this position until both of you had finally calmed down.

“Did you really wanted to be here on time?”

You asked eventually with a shaky voice and Irene immediately nodded.

“Of course! There is nothing more precious to me on this earth than our marriage. I want to be able to call me your wife till my last day.”

She stated truthfully and you looked at her contemplatively.

“W-what about you?”

Irene stammered nervously, not knowing if she wanted to hear your answer.

“I also want to be able to call you my wife till my last day.”

Your stern face finally softened, and Irene instantly pulled you closer again.

“Please come home with me then. We can work this out. I can talk with my managers to rearrange my schedule and we can go on vacation after the tour. Whatever you want.”

She listed all the possibilities that came to her mind to solve this problem, hoping that she could convince you to follow her upstairs.

“We’ll see about the last part. But I would love to go home now.”

You smiled and Irene squeezed you a last time before helping you out of the car.

Together, the two of you took the elevator back to your apartment where you went into the kitchen to finally have the dinner that you had planned. But as soon as Irene had entered the room, she stopped abruptly, staring at the ring on the counter. You followed her gaze and started to nervously fidget with your fingers.

Hesitantly, Irene walked up to the counter to pick up the ring. Insecurely she shifted it in her hands, not knowing whether you were ready to fully commit to this marriage already. But when you held out your hand like the day of your wedding, a wide smile formed on Irene’s lips and she quickly stepped forward to put it on your finger.

Gently she stroked the metal band on the only place it was supposed to be before pressing her lips on it. You looked at her with a soft smile on your lips, causing Irene’s heart to flutter.

Together you heated the food again, before sitting down at the dinner table to have your long-awaited date. You started some innocuous chatter, creating a light atmosphere that didn’t permit the anguish from before to shine through. Irene looked at you while her heart felt full and happy. Noticing that you were being observed, you chuckled before reaching over the table to interlace your fingers and gently stroking the back of her hand.

8:24 pm

Everything was as it was supposed to be.

#irene scenario #irene #red velvet scenario #red velvet #girl group scenario #girl group #kpop #kpop scenario #irene imagine #girl group imagine

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dmukcs · 4 years ago

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Super Junior (슈퍼주니어) - SORRY, SORRY (쏘리 쏘리)

This week’s rec is one of my absolute favourites: Super Junior’s SORRY, SORRY!

Quick ramble before we get into this: when this song released back in 2009, it was the first time I ever listened to a ‘kpop’ song. I’m not even kidding when I say that this song and entire album was a game changer for me. This was my stepping stone into kpop and, consequently, Korean culture and it really does mean a lot for me! Like, bruh can you even believe that March 2021 will mark me down for being a fan of Korean music for over 12 YEARS. This is honestly such a classic kpop song, as well as being one of the most well known in my opinion.

Anyhow! Back to the point:

watch the MV here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6QA3m58DQw&ab_channel=SMTOWN

SORRY, SORRY was released March 3rd, 2009 as a digital single before coming the title track of their 3rd studio album of the same name. The song was their comeback as a complete group since their activities as subgroup in Mainland China and South Korea in 2008. It was Super Junior’s most successful single on the music charts and won them a sum total of 10 recognitions throughout their promoting period.

SORRY, SORRY was a new style for Super Junior, a dance song stimulated with heavy electronic beats in the genre known as ‘urban minimal funky’, and unlike their previous releases. It’s a ‘polished and trendy’ dance song, with an exciting beat and earworm chorus, with influences of American funk and contemporary R&B.

This song was an international hit, though not as we may know it today. Rather, it became the best selling k-pop album in Taiwan, Thailand, China and the Philippines, where they credited Sorry, Sorry to have been the first k-pop album to reach number one in the music charts from the country. It was an instant hit, and stayed number one in Taiwan for an astounding 37-weeks in their k-pop singles chart. Sorry, Sorry achieved both national and international success and this has been their best-selling single in South Korea since.

For fans too, who had been waiting for a return of all 13 members, this was an exciting (if not bittersweet) moment for them, as this marked the last time they came together as a full group again before two members, Hangeng and Kibum, left the group.

Outside of South Korea, SORRY, SORRY, was heavily promoted in other Asian communities. Over 51 subway trains in Taipei were covered in Sorry, Sorry advertisements from April 17th through to May 7th, to promote the Taiwanese release which came out on April 17th. Among these trains was one called the Super Junior Train, which was entirely covered with Super Junior posters.

Not only that, but this song had a big cultural impact, the dance having been covered many times not just by idols, but professional sports players as well. In April 2009, volleyball player Kim Yeonkoung from Heungdeuk Life stated if her team won the 2008-09 NH Nonghyup professional volleyball championship, they would perform the routine. They won and performed this at the award ceremony. Football player Kim Seungyong danced to Sorry, Sorry after scoring a goal against Seongnam Ilhwa Chunma in the 2009 K League. Basketball players have danced to it at the Dongbu Promy Professional Basketball season awards ceremony too, an event which marked the end of the season in professional basketball league.

The honour guard of the South Korean Air Force has danced to Sorry, Sorry (alongside Gee by SNSD) ahead of the groundbreaking ceremony of Airforce Museum at Sanjicheon, Jeju City. Employees of Korean Air created a parody group called 직장인 슈퍼주니어 (jikjjangin super junior) which literally translates to Office Workers Super Juniors, and performed the choreography at an in-house concert held at the Korean Air HQ.

Finally, in the Philippines, a video of inmates known as the CPDRC Dancing Inmates, from the Cebu Provinvial Detention and Rehabilitation Centre, dancing to the song went viral after being uploaded to YouTube.

members, left to right. back row: Ryeowook, Eunhyuk, Kangin, Donghae, Yesung. middle row: Heechul, Sungmin, Kibum, Shindong. front row: Hangeng, Leeteuk, Siwon, Kyuhyun.

Super Junior was originally a 12-member group formed under SM Entertainment in November 2005. They debuted with their single Twins (Knock Out). They later became a 13-member group when their youngest, Cho Kyuhyun, was added in May 2006, in line with their release U. Known by other nicknames such as SJ or SuJu, Super Junior have been dubbed by the media and the Korean Music Awards as the Kings of the Hallyu Wave due to their prominent contributions in the Korean wave.

With the release of Sorry, Sorry, their best-selling single, they launched into international recognition. Throughout the years of their career, they have been divided into smaller groups, being able to target different music industries and audiences at the same time. The members have all individually branched out into other Entertainment Industry roles such as hosting, presenting and acting. Due to their success and popularity as all-rounded entertainers, they have led other Korean entertainment companies to begin training their groups in other aspects of the entertainment industry, rather than just singing, dancing and rapping.

These other groups included: Super Junior-M, their Chinese sub-unit. Super Junior-T, their Trot sub-unit, Super Junior-H, their ‘Happy’ sub-unit. Two other more recent sub-units are Super Junior K.R.Y - Kyuhyun, Ryeowook and Yesung, their ballad sub-unit, and finally - my personal favourite - Super Junior D&E, comprised of Donghae & Eunhyuk, main dancers and best friends within the group, who cover a myriad of genres in comparison.

Super Junior was the best-selling k-pop artist for four years in a row. They have earned 13 music awards from MAMA, 19 from the Golden Disc Awards, are the second singing group to win Favourite Artist Korea at the 2008 MTV Asia Awards after jtL in 2003. 2012: they were nominated ‘Best Asian Act’ in MTV Europe Music Awards. 2015: they won the ‘International Artist’ and ‘Best Fandom’ awards at the Teen Choice Awards. March 2020, Super Junior broke their own record topping the Korean Album Chart of Taiwan’s KKBOX for a jaw-dropping 122 consecutive weeks since 2017, with their 8th album Play, the 8th album repackage REPLAY in 2018, the 9th album Time_Slip from 2019 and the 9th album repackage Timeless, 2020.

As it stands right now, Super Junior have only 9 active members left in their group. In 2009, Hangeng filed a lawsuit against SM, which saw him stop promoting until he finally left the company in 2011. Kibum also took a step back from the group in 2009, opting to focus more on his acting career through a temporary hiatus. Though he appeared in the MV for Sorry, Sorry, and was featured in promotional adverts for their upcoming concert Super Show 2, he did not attend. His contract ended with SM in 2015. Kangin left in 2019, following another DUI incident.

Though Sungmin has not been classified as left and his contract with SM is still active, he has been on hiatus since 2015.

Super Junior’s fandom name is E.L.F, standing for Everlasting Friend and their fandom colour is Pearl Sapphire Blue.

Other songs I would recommend are (it’s long): the entire SORRY, SORRY album, It’s You, Bonamana, Boom, 2YA2YAO!, the entire Sexy, Free & Single album/repackage, A-CHA, Oops!! ft f(x), 라라라라 Be My Girl, Opera, Lo Siento, Black Suit, SUPER Clap, Scene Stealer, Good Day for a Good Day, Magic, Devil, This is Love, MAMACITA, Evanesce, SUPERMAN, Mr. Simple, Twins (Knock Out) and honestly so so so SO much more than I can remember right now!

I don’t listen to their sub-units as often, considering M, T & H are pretty much disbanded at this point.

But recs for D&E are as followed: OPPA OPPA, Danger, ‘Bout You, 너는 나만큼 (Growing Pains), I Wanna Dance (사네), 촉이 와 (Can You Feel It?), 아직도 난 (Still You), B.A.D, Skeleton.

members left to right: Shindong, Kyuhyun, Leeteuk, Donghae, Heechul, Eunhyuk, Siwon, Ryeowook and Yesung.

photo references:

https://www.hellokpop.com/kpop/super-junior-sorry-sorry-ten-years/ https://www.last.fm/music/Super+Junior/SORRY,+SORRY/+images/2549839ddfec45aa8e928b374cf3df2d https://kprofiles.com/super-junior-profile/

references: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sorry,_Sorry_(Super_Junior_song) https://n.news.naver.com/entertain/article/117/0002009158 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_Junior https://kprofiles.com/super-junior-profile/

#dmu #dmukcs #dmu korean culture society #sorry sorry #super junior #super junior sorry sorry #old kpop #music recommendation #kpop recommendation #old kpop recommendation #written by tt #the biggest ELF in the world #슈퍼주니어 #쏘리 쏘리

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ciakinius · 5 years ago

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The Kiddies

Kihyun x Reader

Genre: Comedy, fluff, crack

A/N: Hey y’all! My lazy ass decided to procrastinate my school work and finally finish this crackhead fic so I figured I share it here to amuse everyone. There is some film set jargan in here so I apologize for that but I am a film student so please enjoy this fantasy I’ve conjured up in my head. And yes, film sets are that choatic.

Warnings: None, unless you are offended by the Kiddies, and if so, then I don’t know what to tell you.

Side note: *stands for korean

Enjoy!

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It was six fucking AM when you rushed into the studio.

You barely made it on time after the bus had run late, which just had to happen on your first day of work. This job was hard as fuck to get and took years to train for. It was hard enough getting on music video sets in your home country. But to land a job on the art team for one in South Korea! On a Kpop video? Dream come true.

Of course you knew why you got the job which really, wasn’t that impressive to begin with. Set Dresser was better than art production assistant, and you were getting paid so that was a plus. But it was still a very low level crew job. One of your bosses from a past job who you kept in touch happened to be working on this MV and needed an extra hand from someone she trusted. She remembered you spoke moderate Korean (that special skills section finally came in fucking handy) and wanted to bring you on. So here you were. Working on a Kpop music video.

And not just any group's music video. The second your boss told you it was for Monsta X, your ult group, you didn't hesitate to say yes. Of course, set dressing meant you probably wouldn't meet them at all, maybe see them if you were lucky. Still it was quite an opportunity.

As you ran through the studio searching for your boss you didn't have time to register your surroundings. So many people were running everywhere. All the grips walking by with a bunch of C-stands and lights. Damn, this studio was huge.You couldn’t find any signs marking departments. And no one looked like they had time to stop and tell you where the art department was. You checked your watch and saw that it was already 6:05. Shit. Your boss was going to bite your head off.

You saw the hair and makeup trailer. That's a good sign. Art was usually nearby. You kept looking around until you finally saw it. All the saw dust and people running by with paint stained hands. Ah the art department. You started running then, so intently focused on finding your boss that you completely missed the embarrassing accident you were about to walk into.

You failed to see the man walking by with the massive three legged light stand and tripped forward as your shin, very painfully, collided with one of the metal legs.

You know when you start falling forward and it almost feels slow motion? Because you are trying to stop yourself and it's in front of multiple people? Well that was you were experiencing right now. But just to make it worse you ended up falling into someone who went down right along with you. When you both finally hit the floor with a loud smack, you knew the man under you took the brunt of the fall based on his groans of pain. You looked up, about to apologize. The words got caught in your throat though as you saw who exactly you fell on.

Oh fuck.

Your eyes met Kihyun's, painfully squinting in pain. The Kihyun. Of Monsta X. The group whose music video you were working on. Oh, you were so getting fired. Your palms braced against his chest and you were about to rip yourself off him when you felt it. More so, THEM.

Oh my. There was muscle there for sure. A lot more than you expected. Perhaps Kihyun wasn’t full of shit when he joked about buffing up his pecs. You had seen the pictures, but still you never imagined this.

Wow. The kiddies are real, you thought.

"What did you just say?" You heard in English. You looked up, eyes widening. Oh no. Did you say that outloud?

"What are kiddies?" You finally met Kihyun's eyes and looked away immediately. You were certainly getting off him this time, pushing off his chest, but his hand on your waist( WHEN DID THOSE GET THERE) kept you where you were.

His eyes bore into you. Well you were already getting fired so why not enjoy the moment with the Young Flexer. "Ah...well…..it's a nickname. "

"For?" He started smirking now, enjoying how flustered you were.

You looked down. "For your chest muscles. You know, a lot of monbebes came up with the nickname. We tend to call them…...tiddies. And your name is Kihyun. So ki and tiddies makes….kiddies". You had never been so fucking embarrassed in your life. Kihyun loosened his hands, blinking incredulously at you. You sprang up and finally noticed some of the Starship staff looking at you. Kihyun's manager already heading your way, face red.

You hid your face, about to bolt when Kihyun got up and took your hand.

"Hey, look at me." He asked.

You looked up at his beautiful face. Still bare. Shit. You'd made him late for hair and makeup too. His smile through you off though.

"I know what the "kiddies" are. We see how wild you guys are on Twitter, I just wanted to hear you explain it. Plus, you're cute when you're flustered." Oh well. You didn't expect that.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to touch you. And I'm so sorry for falling on you. I'm sure they'll fire m-"

"It's okay. It was an accident. And they won't fire you if I have anything to say about it." You let out a sigh of relief, thanking him in Korean.

"Also" he stepped closer to you and whispered in your ear, "you seemed to like what you felt." You moved away, that damn smirk back on his face. Well fuck.

* "Kihyun-ah! Are you okay?" His manager asked in Korean.

* "Y/N! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!??" And there was your boss. But Kihyun kept his word and explained to both of them that it was just an accident and that he was fine. And said quite sternly you were NOT to be fired. You always believed Monsta X were good guys, and it was nice to see it confirmed. After Kihyun left to HMU, your boss glared at you and just motioned with her finger for you to follow her. Well this day was already off to a great start.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your boss had tortured you all day, keeping you away from the set as punishment and solely stationing you at the painting shop. It was only good to avoid all the states the Korean crew members were throwing your way, wondering what a foreigner was doing here. It wasn't unheard of but it certainly was a cause for unnecessary attention,made even worse by today's incident. Once they finally called wrap, you started packing your things. You were about to leave when your phone buzzed for the first time all day. Everyone knew to never text or call unless it was an emergency on your work days. You opened the text and your eyes widened. A Korean number had texted you and not just any Korean number.

Unknown number: 8:05 pm: *Hey! This is Kihyun, of Monsta X! I didn't see you for the rest of the day and thought it wouldn't be a good idea to ask for your number in front of everyone. So I got it from the call sheet. Anyways...I wanted to ask if you were interested in meeting up after the shoot?

Of Monsta X? Kihyun ma boi. Still embarrassing even in person. Ahhhh he was so cute though. Wait, was he...asking you out? And he looked up your number? No way this was happening. Not with Kihyun of all people.

You: 8:07 pm: *Sorry, I'm still learning Korean. Are you asking ME out?

Kihyun: 8:08 pm: *Hahaha, yes I am. I can write it in English too! "I want to see you again, if you want?"

You didn't respond for a bit. Contemplating if this was a good idea. Of course as a fan it was a dream come true, but his idol status, along with your job were definitely issues. A buzz took you out of your thoughts.

Kihyun: 8:10pm: Btw, you're free to feel the kiddies whenever you want. I liked the way your hands felt on me ;)

Wow. How could you say no to that.

You: 8:11pm: Well, you've sold me now. I'd love to properly meet you after the shoot

Kihyun: 8:11 pm: I can't wait :)

Well. What an interesting first day of work.

---------------

Thank you for reading!

#monsta x #monsta x fanfic #monsta x fanfiction #yoo kihyun #kihyun #kihyun x reader #kihyun drabble #kihyun fluff #kihyun imagine #kihyun fanfic #for the record I love this man and would do anything for his cringy ass

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jacqueline9 · 4 years ago

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Dream love

Hi! You can call me Rachel. I will tell you about how I met my love. Long time back, I was just a person who stepped into adulthood even though I was pretty much myself and nothing much changed. I was a big Korean pop fan. My idol was one of the most famous kpop artists at those times, Haru of DZY boy band. I was a big fan of his and, it still feels like a dream because he is still someone special to me. I won’t bore you; I will jump from my introduction.

There was a fan signing event in Japan during the spring season, one of my favourite season and I wanted to visit Japan to see the cherry blossom. I went there, and it was pretty hard for me to get the ticket it was a huge rush and to see them I had to wait in a long queue. But it was worth it, after all. Finally, I got to see them, and I was on cloud nine. I had a good interaction with the members. I was so happy, even though it was just for a moment. I had a memorable talk with them even though it was short. There he was sitting at the end of the table. I was not even sure if I was breathing. He has signed the album, and our talk will be over. Still, he drank his water when Haru was going to place the water it was going to spill at him, and I suddenly got up and tried to hold the bottle, at that very time water spilt all over him, and I hurt my hand because the table end was some sharp. My hand started to bleed. Haru saw it took hold of my bleeding hand and called over the medical crew present there. He and I were sorry for each other. He checked up on me. It was as if time was going slow for me. Anyway, we had a brief moment, and we went back to our own life.

A few days later, I went to Korea to see a distant friend. I went for shopping at Mecenatpolis Mall. There was a huge crowd gathering around a celebrity, but I couldn’t recognize who it was. He was trying to escape but couldn’t it is pretty sad for the idols because they can’t go out freely even if they want to. I had many things to buy because I would be going back to my country in a few days. I entered a dress store, so I picked up some clothes and tried them. Something got stuck in my shoes, so I was going to take it off. The door got opened suddenly, and I fell onto somebody, and I couldn’t even look up because I was embarrassed. I said sorry for a like a thousand times, and he asked me if my hand was good. I looked up found that it was Haru. I thought my eyes would pop out. I said I am fine. I don’t know why I said goodbye and hurriedly left from there. We parted our ways but still kept finding our way back no matter what. I got home and checked my phone, but it was not mine; it was someone else’s.

I doubted if it was Haru’s. Suddenly I got a call from my number. I said I wanted to switch the phones the back because I have all my contacts in them without them I can’t contact my friend. He agreed, and we met at the set because he had a shoot that day. Later that day, we exchanged our phones back. We were curious about each other and started to talk with each other like friends, and we ended as lovers after a year. There were many hurdles on our path, but we fought against them all, and we will get married next month after waiting for five years long.

Even if your future seems unsure, don’t leave hope and work hard towards the goal. A relationship is something that needs the involvement of both parties. Hope you will get what you aspire for.

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werejusttouchingeachother · 5 years ago

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Dirty Sinner

Words: 6048

Genre: smut (m)

Pairing: Kai x reader

Warning: dom!Kai, sliiiight angst if you look hard enough lol

A/N: Happy Birthday, cousin (pt 3--its the final one, I swear) also this entire thing was inspired by the gifs of the W Korea photoshoot and those gifs oNLY

One would think that the fact that he's your brother's best friend would be enough of a reason to not fuck him behind your brother's back.

But no, you had to pick him even though he was the one guy who was famous too.

Hundreds of friends and yet, you picked the best friend, the idol:

EXO's Kai.

Of course, like most bad decisions, it wasn't intentional. You'd grown up around a lot of guys, thanks to your brother being the most outgoing, friendly guy that there is. And most of these guys only ever considered you as a younger sister--Jongin included.

Until about two months ago when there was a party at your place.

You'd been the perfect balance between tipsy and drunk, just one vodka shot away from losing your memories of the rest of the night. The crowd had gotten suffocating and you'd escaped upstairs to your bedroom, long after midnight when a majority of the people were shitfaced-drunk, including your brother. It was when you were stumbling to your bathroom that you'd ran into Jongin. You'd tripped on your heels and he'd caught your arms, steadying you.

You still remember what you wore. It was one of your favourite dresses--a dark navy lace that moulded your body with a deep plunging neckline that made your brother frown at all the cleavage you'd displayed oh-so-generously.

A decision that was difficult to regret especially when Jongin's eyes had lingered there for a moment before meeting your eyes. He'd surprisingly been sober and you still cannot recall whether it had been intentional on your part or not but you lost your balance in his arms, causing him to fall back on the wall with you up against him.

It had taken only a second of eye-contact before Jongin was kissing his best friend's little sister. One moan from you and he was shoving you into your bathroom, locking the door behind him as he lifted you onto the sink, lips finding yours again hungrily.

However, it didn't last for long. Right when you'd started tugging at his shirt impatiently, he'd grabbed your hand and stopped you, stepping away.

"You're drunk," he'd said. "We shouldn't be doing this. Your brother will kill me."

Before you could even stop him, he'd left you there in that bathroom, feeling cold and incredibly frustrated.

You didn't leave your room after that, feeling angry at yourself for how disappointed you were because he'd left. It shouldn't have mattered but it did and you couldn't get that kiss out of your head.

And apparently he couldn't either cause when it was close to 3AM and the music had died down and when you were certain everyone had passed out on all possible surfaces of your house except your room, you heard your door open.

Jongin had stood there, eyes dark and intense as they gazed at you and you had glared at him.

"What?" You had snapped at him. "Isn't my brother supposed to be killing you for something that he never even knew?"

At that, he'd raised an eyebrow. "Seriously? We're going to play the 'what he doesn't know won't kill him' game?"

"As opposed to the game of eye-fucking each other across the room and pretending to ignore the sexual tension everytime we're together?" Narrowing your eyes at him, you'd seethed, "Yeah, don't think I didn't notice all the glances you gave me all night."

"You're his kid sister. I literally watched you grow up."

"Bullshit. The last both my brother and I saw of you was when you two were in middle school and then it was only after you debuted. Both you and I have changed plenty during that time and you know it."

Jongin had stepped into the room then, his back pressed against the door as he digested your words.

"I'm not a kid anymore, Jongin," you had said, leaning back on your headboard as you pulled your knees to your chest absentmindedly. His eyes had immediately dropped lower, following the movement and even before the wicked idea could form in your head, you were already spreading your thighs and displaying your thong that peeked through the dress that had hiked up considerably now.

You heard the familiar click-sound as his fingers locked the door shut behind him and like a man in a trance, he had strode to the bed and pounced on you in an almost animalistic frenzy, hands and mouth everywhere.

The way that you had unintentionally moaned 'Kai' after the first orgasm he gave you that night--or morning--dawned the realisation upon both of you that it wouldn't be the last time you'd be doing this.

A realisation that the two of you had abided by as Kai now marked up your neck in the downstairs bathroom of your house, grinding into your thigh while the guys were immersed in their game of PubG in the living room--a perfect excuse to disappear without anyone noticing especially since Baekhyun kept yelling, "DIE DIE YAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Except that now--almost two months after the first time in your room--you felt things differently than earlier.

It had started last week. Your brother had left town for a couple days, your parents weren't home so of course you called him over. After the party, it was mostly quickies here and there so this was a golden opportunity for both of you. Kai had driven over immediately, you had fucked in all possible places of the house in all sorts of positions and you remember thinking that if you died from having too much sex, it'd probably be a great way to go. Especially if it was with Kai.

But then he had stayed the night. You'd laid on his chest and he'd ordered pizza around 1AM and you'd worn his shirt that was too big for you while answering the Dominoes delivery man at the door and he'd waited for you on the carpet of your living room with a stupidly cute grin on his face.

You knew you were fucked when you woke up feeling warm in his arms that were wrapped snugly around you, his face buried in your neck. You knew you were truly fucked when he'd smiled right as he woke up and saw you with the tray of toast and coffee, putting it aside and pulling you back into bed with him for some lazy morning sex. You knew you were truly royally fucked when the two of you stood pressed up against your front door when he had to leave, neither of you making the move to leave--until he had to run upstairs and escape from your window when you two heard the sound of your brother's car in the driveway.

And when you'd fallen back into your bed, smiling and wrapped yourself in the sheets that smelled like him?

Yeah. Fucked. Both literally and metaphorically.

Of course, it hadn't been like this the whole time. At first, it was the risk of what you were doing, or rather who you were doing--sneaking around your brother's back, the thrill of getting caught, the way you'd drive him up the walls by calling him Jongin in public and screaming Kai when you both were alone, the way he'd have you struggling to keep it together when you were around your brother by giving you a certain look or by straying his hand farther down your back or sending you a dirty message on your phone at the dinner table while you sat with everyone and of course, the fact that you were having the best sex of your life with one of the sexiest KPop idols on a regular basis. But now, as you watched your reflection in the bathroom mirror, held up against the door while he thrusted into your clothed core, you couldn't ignore the feeling of fluttering butterflies over the usual impending-orgasm-tightening of your stomach.

"Fuck," you gasped, closing your eyes as you felt Kai come over your panty and bare thighs, your own orgasm soaking through your underwear.

You breathed hard as you looked at him, your eyes moving from the back of his head that you could see in the mirror to his face as he pulled away from your neck. He smiled at you then, setting off your heart in an erratic pace that had your insides turn to mush as you stared at him.

Post-sex Kai was the most beautiful Kai that you'd ever seen: his honey skin flushed with an ethereal glow, all the blood rushed to his cheeks, sweat glistening on his forehead and his lips swollen.

You swallowed thickly as you blinked at him and he ducked his head towards yours, mouth going to meet yours and you quickly say it before you can second-think it or stop yourself,

"We need to stop this."

Kai's mouth moves to your throat instead as he licks a long stripe from your collarbone to your ear. "Hmm?"

"We should stop this," you repeat, your heart pounding in your ears. You then have to force the next words out, "Kai, stop, I'm not fucking around."

You place your hands on his chest to push him off you and see him blink at you, as if in a daze.

"Well," he said, still grinning coyly. "We aren't fucking around right now. But we could--"

"I'm serious."

The smile falls off his face, his playful expression turning somber in an instant.

"What's going on?" He asked.

"You're my brother's best friend," you state, moving your hands to your back where it was out of his sight since they were slightly trembling. "I'm his sister. He trusts both of us and we--we're doing this. I feel like the worst sister."

"Y/N, what--"

"He trusts me, Jongin." The use of his real name makes him scowl slightly as he realises you're serious.

Oh, if only he knew.

"He said this thing the other day," you continued, forcing yourself to maintain eye-contact so that the lies you were spouting wouldn't be as obvious. "He said that he's glad he can trust me and that I'm honest with him. It made me feel like shit."

No, he didn't, but what did make you feel like shit was when your phone would light up with a notification from 'Jongin' that had you grinning like an idiot.

You cleared your throat, tugging down your skirt that he had bunched up around your waist.

"Y/N," Kai, no, Jongin said your name in a tone you'd never heard him use before, making you look at him.

"What's going on?" He asked seriously. "Did he see the last text that I sent you or something? Did he find out?"

"No," you rolled your eyes as you straightened from the door. "No, he didn't. I just feel guilty. I feel like a... sinner."

"Isn't that what you like though?"

His tone makes you glance up, right as he takes a step towards you. With dark eyes focused on you, he places one hand on the door right near your waist, the other reaching for below your skirt and you feel his finger trace up your thigh before raising it to your mouth.

Your lips part open reflexively and he smirks in satisfaction, letting your mouth wrap around his long digit, allowing you to slightly taste the cum that he had collected from his earlier orgasm that was still on you.

"See?" He whispers, hot breath fanning your face as you stare up at him with your eyes wide open.

"You love this," Kai mutters. "You're a dirty sinner, Y/N, and you love it."

You closed your eyes, feeling your resolve break down momentarily before snapping your eyes open, grabbing his hand and pulling it out of your mouth.

"I'm serious, Jongin," you mutter, voice cracking. You shove him back, straightening your clothes. "This--we can't--we're stopping. That's it. Go play with the guys, they're waiting."

And with that, you left a stunned Kai Jongin in the bathroom and headed to your bedroom where you locked yourself in for the rest of the night before leaving to stay at a friend's place in the morning--a place where your cowardly self could hide out for days and sort out your messy emotions without having to worry about running into Kai.

"I literally do not understand why you need me there," you said exasperatedly, your fingers pressed to the bridge of your nose as you listened to your brother on the phone.

"Y/N, its been a week," he stated as if you didn't already know. "You've been crashing at Soojin's place for a week. I'm starting to think you hate me or something."

"You know it's not that," you reply, sighing. "I'll just spend a few more days with her before coming back."

He stays quiet for a moment before finally giving up on arguing with you. "Fine. But you have to come tonight."

"Again, I repeat, I don't understand why you--"

"Mom and Dad went for a trip, Y/N. Do you know when was the last time we had the house to ourselves?"

Yes, you wanted to say. Yes, I know exactly when--approximately two months ago which was around the time that Jongin's vacation had started and you'd thrown a 'welcome back home' party for him that had transcended into a private party in my room where he had shifted from your middle-school best friend Jongin to my secret fuckbuddy Kai.

But of course, you couldn't say that so you went, "No, I don't know."

"It's been months," he stated in his typical exaggerated fashion. "I would be insane if I didn't throw a party tonight. Its written in the stars, Y/N, karma will literally be out for you if you miss your favourite brother's legendary party tonight."

"You're my only brother," you state wryly.

"Bitch, I will drive up there and hit you."

You laugh slightly and shake your head, biting your lip as you considered the possibility. You were tempted to ask if he would be there but you knew he would, it'd be stupid to assume he wouldn't come.

It's been a whole week since you saw him, heard him and touched him.

You sigh and finally give up as you glance at Soojin who raised an eyebrow at you.

"I'll be there," you mutter, smiling as you hear your brother cheer in victory. "Don't open the vodka bottles that I bought last month before I get there or I'll murder you."

"Get here fast then," he retorted and you two abruptly hung up.

"You're going for the party," Soojin said wryly even before you could say a word.

You nodded in defeat, looking up at her hopefully. "Will you come with me?"

She snorted, crossing her arms. "Why, so I can watch you run around the house, trying to avoid Kai? No, thanks."

Soojin was the only one who you'd confided in with your dirty secret and she had given you advice that had terrified you to no ends:

"Just tell him you like him."

"Oh come on, Y/N!" she exclaimed, throwing her hands up in frustration as she watches you fidget on her couch. "I don't understand what you're so worried about. Given the fact that you two have been sleeping around like bunnies for two months now, I don't think it's likely that he'd reject you."

"He's an idol, Soojin," you say defiantly, raising an eyebrow. "Fucking around and dating are two very different things."

"Are idols incapable of dating?" She rolled her eyes. "If he can fuck around with you for this long without your brother finding out in his own household, I think he can manage a secret relationship without his agency finding out."

"Secret relationship?" You screeched, feeling the blood rush to your cheeks. "What the fuck are you saying, we're literally talking about his career here!"

"Why are you blushing then?" Soojin called you out, narrowing her eyes at you. You threw the cushion at her and she sighed, standing up from the couch.

"I'm not going to argue with you, Y/N," she said, holding up her hands in defense. "But for what it's worth, I think you should tell him the truth cause he's a grown adult who can decide for himself whether he should date or not. So you should confess for your own peace of mind. Cause trust me, unrequited crushes are the worst." She paused, thinking. "Well. You're pretty lucky for someone who has an unrequited crush cause you've fucked him in all possible--"

"Stooooop," you whined, falling back on the couch dramatically. "Don't trigger me, I'm trying not to think about it."

Soojin smirked, crossing her arms. "Missing the endless sex, Y/N?"

"Missing is an insufficient word," you grumble, frowning. "I miss my room but sex with Kai is not something I'm missing right now, it's something I'm..."

You trailed off, trying to think of a word that would match all the emotions you felt when you thought of Kai in your arms, in all his naked glory.

There was a short silence before Soojin suddenly suggested, "... Craving?"

"Mm," an involuntary sound that sounded like a half-moan and no where near as appropriate as it did in your head escaped your mouth and your eyes flew to Soojin who was gawking at you, definitely having heard you.

She burst out laughing as you sat up from the couch, your entire body feeling warm with part-embarrassment and part-other-emotions-that-you-didn't-want-to-name.

"You're so full of bullshit, Y/N," she giggled, shaking her head and taking your hand as she pulled you up. "Regardless of what you do with him tonight, I'm going to play my job as best friend and dress you up so good that Kai will be crawling to your room on his knees."

You looked at her, horrified. "That's the exact opposite of what I want."

"Fine, then," she shrugged, leading you to her room. "He'll see you and push you onto your knees, happy?"

"Soojin, oh my god--"

"Shut up, bitch. This is my house and in my house, I dress you up how I want to, whether you like it or not so shut the fuck up and take off your clothes, we got a slutty Cinderella to create."

Soojin wasn't joking.

You'd hoped against hope that she would be but she wasn't and you realised how dutifully she'd stuck to her statement as you entered the living room of your house, immediately feeling all eyes on you.

Your hair tied up in a complicated updo with a few strands hanging down and framing your face, Soojin had lent you a dress that had surprised you--an ivory-coloured satin dress that hugged your hips and thighs before flaring out slightly at the knees, accentuating your curves in all the right places, with a satin ribbon that crisscrossed at the back like a sort of corset. The only aspect of the dress that you'd hesitated about was the cowl neckline that would be dangerously revealing if you leaned any way too much.

When Soojin had said 'slutty Cinderella', you'd expected some daring skimpy outfit that showed way too much skin but as your brother waddled to you in a drunken-walk that you were familiar with, you realised that she had sneakily misdirected your thoughts by putting you in an outfit that didn't display anything directly but was teasing and body-shaping enough to leave plenty for the imagination.

Soojin, you evil bitch.

You hugged your brother, crinkling your nose as you smelled the alcohol on him and tried to understand the words that he was slurring drunkenly in your ear.

Your eyes suddenly caught a movement to the right and you froze in his arms as you saw Kai from over your brother's shoulder, striding out of the kitchen with a drink in his hand.

He stopped as soon as he saw you, eyes growing wide and your brother stepped away from you right at that moment, leaving you without a shield as Kai's eyes raked over you.

Your own couldn't help but drink him in--clad in a white shirt that was unbuttoned all the way to his mid-torso with frills at the front that only he could pull off perfectly in that typical-Kai fashion, tucked into black pants that elongated his legs, you felt your throat turn dry as you saw him.

God, it must be illegal to look that good.

And then Kai's eyes flew back up to meet yours which is when the realisation hit you:

His clothes were the exact same outfit that you'd admitted to lusting over when you'd seen it at a magazine photoshoot--you'd said that he looked like a groomsman whose jacket you, the bridesmaid, had tossed away and left him in just the white and black underneath.

And simultaneously, you recalled one night where Kai had especially drawn out the foreplay--you'd worn white lingerie and he'd admitted that he loved seeing you in white cause it gave off the appearance that you were innocent but only he knew how dirty you truly were, especially when he took the white garments off.

You'd mentioned this to Soojin. Not today or yesterday but almost two months back when it had happened, a conversation that even you hadn't remembered until you saw how Kai's eyes darkened from across the room--but apparently that Soojin hadn't forgotten.

I'm going to fucking kill her.

Kai took a step forwards, eyes still on you and you immediately heard sirens in your head. Hurriedly, you turned and exited through the front door, your legs taking you to the back of the house.

You don't know how many hours you'd spent running away every time that you even caught a glimpse of him. Yes, it was cowardly and yes, it was childish but you couldn't help it. It must have been about two hours later when a majority of the guests were sufficiently drunk that you found your way to the kitchen and had your first drink of the night--the vodka that you'd hidden away.

You were well into your third shot when you saw Kai in the living room, near the couch. There was a girl dancing around him and you saw the look of disinterest on his face as his eyes flitted around the room before finally finding yours.

The glass that you were holding froze mid-way to your lips and you watched as his eyes narrowed before he grabbed the waist of the girl in front of him.

You only saw him roll his hips sensually against her before you whipped your head around, feeling a burn in your chest that you were certain wasn't caused by the vodka.

God, I am so fucked.

Your eyes closed at the realisation and you suddenly felt rage boil through you.

There's no reason for you to run. You asked for this. You wanted a fuckbuddy and not a relationship. Kai was too boyfriend-material and by the time you'd realised that, it had already been too late. Which was why you left.

And now you could move on.

"Fuck it," you muttered to no one in particular as you downed the last of the vodka in your glass, slamming it down on the table and striding purposefully to the living room.

You grabbed the shoulder of the first tall guy that you saw and spun him around.

You couldn't remember his name but you knew his face well--it was a face that both Soojin and a lot of girls weren't fond of due to his fuckboy status and that was all the memory you needed to throw your arms around him as you danced wildly to the music.

You hadn't danced for long when suddenly, you felt a hand grab your arm, spinning you around to see the face of a seething Kai.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" He yelled to be heard over the music. "I'm the one who makes you feel guilty but fucking Jason is completely okay?"

"You're my brother's best friend!" You defend yourself loudly. "My brother doesn't even like Jason. And who I sleep with is none of your business, Jongin, fuck off."

You turn at that to a tipsy Jason and you quickly mutter into his ear the magical words that no guy at a party can resist, 'Hey, do you wanna get out of here?'

Quickly heading for the door, you take Jason's hand and lead him outside your house, dragging him through the people that were dancing out front. When you were sure Kai couldn't see you anymore, you told Jason that you'd be right back and headed down the block to the grocery store.

Sitting at the small foldable table outside the store all alone at 4:17AM in the morning, you considered calling Soojin to ask her to pick you up before realising that you'd left your phone at your house. You lay on the table, wake up and loiter around the store for a while until you hear a whole row of cars drive past the store.

You glance at the clock above the cashier's head:

5:28

You take off your heels and leave the grocery, walking your way back to your house.

The front porch is empty and so is the living room when you enter. You close the front door as quietly as possible, hearing the click echo through the hall as the whole house is filled with silence, as opposed to an hour ago.

Sighing, you drop your heels on the floor and carefully make your way through the bottles and cups, too tired to clean up now. Making a silent vow in your head to help your brother tomorrow morning, you head for the dark kitchen and reach for the jar of water.

The moonlight filters through the curtains enough to illuminate the island counter and you pour yourself a cup, raising it to your mouth and cocking your head back as you gulp it down.

The water is down your throat when you feel a sudden warmth at your back. You glance down and see two familiar veiny hands at your sides, holding on the counter.

Jumping in surprise, the plastic cup falls from your hand as you whip around to come face-to-face with Jongin.

His eyes are darker than the night as they bore into you, the moonlight hitting only one side of his face while the other half is hidden in shadows. His hands have caged you between his body and the counter at your back but without touching you.

You blink up at him, heart racing erratically--both from being startled and from the proximity after a week of not seeing him.

You hated to admit it but your senses were already drowning in his familiar scent that you'd missed, your thighs clenching around nothing.

"Where did you go?" His voice was piercing and sharp, cutting through the silence.

You swallowed, the sound echoing. "I went with Jason."

"You're lying," he cut you off even before you could finish saying it. "You left him on the front porch. Where did you go?"

You stay silent, hearing your own bated breath.

Kai's eyes narrowed. "Y/N."

"G-grocery store," you weakly muttered, giving in.

"Why?"

You don't respond, suddenly hyper-aware of everything around you. Your heart was pounding in your ears, you could hear your heavy breaths and you could hear every breath that Kai took, feel all the heat that his body was radiating even without touching you and the way both your bodies were the loudest echoes in this dark kitchen on this moonlit night.

Taking a breath, you finally admit, "I needed to get away from you."

At this, Kai's entire demeanour changes as he straightens suddenly, eyebrow cocking up. "Oh really? How's that working for you so far?"

You don't say a word and then he's slamming you into the counter, the marble surface biting into your back as he grips your forearms tightly.

"You really think that you can cut me off so easily after making me fucking addicted to you, Y/N?" He gritted out. "You started this. The same hesitation you had last week, I had it that night at the bathroom. And the same confidence that you had on your bed, I'm showing you now."

You're breathing really hard now, certain he can hear how loud your heart is as you gasp, "Kai--"

He cuts you off with a heated kiss, one that was unlike the million that you'd had so far--filled with aggravation, teeth clashing and tongues battling for dominance. You lost readily, letting him explore your mouth with his talented tongue, swallowing your moans as you melted in his arms.

Kai pulls away when he's certain you're breathless, forehead pressed against yours.

"If you want me to stop," he breathes out heavily. "Tell me now and I'll leave you alone. I swear I will. No more fucking around. But if you don't, I'm going to show you exactly what it means to sin."

You're already gripping the front of his shirt, fingers roaming his warm chest hungrily. His hands came up and grabbed yours, holding them in front of you, making you glance up at him.

You blink hazily, already feeling every bit of fight and resilience that you had in you leave, wanting to be drunk in his arms, wanting to be drunk in Kai.

"Don't stop," you mutter, feeling your legs tremble as you threw your head back. "God, please don't stop."

Kai's lips were immediately attacking your throat, one hand holding both of yours in between you two while his other hand went to your back. You felt the knot on your back that Soojin had tied into a bow so carefully and neatly come undone and Kai's fingers moved quickly as they pulled the satin ribbon free from the loops on the back, the dress loosening around you.

He yanked the ribbon completely free from behind you and you watched as he placed it between his lips to allow his hands to tug your dress down. You heard him moan at the sight of your bare breasts and you started to reach for his shirt but he stopped you right as the dress pooled around your ankles. His foot steps on the hem and you lift each of your own feet, allowing him to pull it from around your ankles and kick it aside.

Taking the satin ribbon from his mouth, Kai wrapped it over and over around your joined wrists, binding them together and tying it tightly.

Your breaths were coming out in short gasps as you watched him, core already pulsating with desire and when he finished tying your hands, his lust-crazed eyes met yours.

"I've been wanting to do this ever since I saw you tonight," he mutters, hands going to his pants as he pulled his zipper down. "I'm going to show you exactly how much of a dirty sinner you are, Y/N."

You don't get the chance to respond as he spins you around by your shoulders, hand pressing into your back until you're arched over the counter, bound hands atop it and breasts pressing against the cold marble.

"A dirty sinner just for me," he whispers right in your ear before licking it.

"Fuck, Kai," you whine at the sensations spreading through your body as you feel his knees pressing into the back of your leg, urging you to spread your thighs.

You do so readily, and he raises his left hand to your mouth, two fingers slipping inside your lips, making you immediately suck on the long digits.

"I'm going to fuck you so hard and so good on this kitchen counter," Kai promises, thrusting his fingers into your mouth. "And you're going to stay quiet for me, baby."

You moan around his fingers, arching your back into him.

He continues, "Your brother is upstairs, isn't he? We don't want him to find out about how his innocent sister is really a dirty sinner, do we?"

You close your eyes, feeling his other hand wander lower.

"Look how wet you are for me," he mutters, kissing the back of your neck, his chest reverberating against your back. You choke on his fingers slightly as you feel his other fingers slip inside your wet folds, walls immediately clenching around him.

"Fuck, I've missed how wet you get for me," Kai groans as he flicks your clit incessantly, making you buck and squirm against the counter in a matter of minutes.

He removes his fingers from your mouth, trailing it downwards and replaces his right hand with his left, dripping with your saliva. You trash around at the sensation and Kai holds you tightly against the counter to steady you, his fingers thrusting into you deeply and easily because of your fluids.

You press your bound wrists to your mouth to muffle your moaning as you feel him bring you closer and closer to your high. Writhing on the table, your thighs began clenching around him and right then, he pulled his fingers out of your dripping pussy.

Collapsing on the table and focusing on being quiet, Kai doesn't give you much time to breathe from your almost-orgasm as you feel him coat the head of his erection with your arousal, wetting it completely before slipping it inside you.

You moaned, slapping your hand over your mouth as Kai began thrusting at an animalistic pace. It was rougher and faster than he'd ever been on you before, his fingers digging into your hips and certain to leave bruises tomorrow morning while the angle of his hips helped him reach inside you in all the sweet spots that had you seeing stars.

The air was hot and heavy around the two of you, filled with the sounds of skin slapping, your muffled moans, Kai's breathless pants and the water bottle trembling at the corner of the counter as he slammed you against it repeatedly.

Your breasts roughly brushed against the surface as Kai pounded into you. He suddenly grabbed your thigh and raised your leg.

The new position had you screaming into your hand as you felt his dick reach upwards, rubbing your clit just as he thrusted in and out of you.

Kai pressed his chest to your back, pinning you down to the counter table and right as his hand groped your breast, your orgasm crashed over you.

You shook over the table, legs trembling as you came around Kai's dick, his own orgasm following a few more rough thrusts later. You're dripping with cum and you can feel it trickling down your thigh as you lay exhausted on the counter, Kai's body collapsed over your own back.

"Still feeling guilty, baby?" You heard him pant and you couldn't help the smile that came over your face at the question.

"No," you admit honestly. "A little sore, a lot satisfied, and there's definitely no guilt or regret."

You felt Kai press a gentle kiss to the nape of your neck and the two of you lapse into silence, you focusing on the sounds of both of you trying to catch your breaths. Kai straightened suddenly, pulling out of you and you felt his hands on your shoulder, gently spinning you around.

His eyes scanned your face, fingers lightly tracing your chin. "You're okay?"

The soft question filled with concern had your heart swelling and you couldn't help it as you pressed up against him with your arms still bound, kissing him deeply. His arms grabbed the back your thighs, pulling you up on the counter and sitting you down on it as he kissed your neck. You arched back and fell on the counter.

Right then, a bright light flashed across your eyes.

You snapped your eyes shut tightly and were vaguely aware of red spots dancing behind your eyelids.

When you opened your eyes and squinted at the harsh light, you realised that Kai had stopped moving.

A chilly air suddenly blew past and you felt your blood run cold.

Slowly turning your head to the right, you see your brother standing at the doorway to the kitchen, eyes wide and hand frozen on the light-switch.

"What the fuck?"

#exo smut #exo smutfic #exo kai #kim jongin smut #hbd cousin #this was my personal favourite #cause dUH #happy bday hoe #i love you

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