#konstantin is not averse to human sacrifice
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Crisis of Faith
The will of God brings a young and impressionable Trinity soldier to the attention of Commander Konstantin.
Tomb Raider/Rise of the Tomb Raider/Konstantin
Viewpoint: 3rd person female Trinity soldier OC
Warnings: blood, descriptions of violence, PTSD, religious fanaticism, stigmata
Word count: ~2.5k [complete]
A short fic I wrote because I wanted to play with Konstantin’s heavily religious side.
Read on Ao3
Death.
Ailish sat up on her cot, freezing cold. She was drenched in sweat and panting heavily. It was pitch black in the gulag and she tried to slow her breathing so she wouldn’t wake her comrades. She listened carefully, there was snoring coming from all directions. Nobody had heard her, not yet.
She was safe. She was surrounded by big men with weapons, nothing could hurt her here. All the prisoners were securely locked up. Ailish reached down and felt the comforting cool steel of her own pistol in its holster.
She breathed in deep and counted 1...2...3... before breathing out again. Her pulse was still racing and she could feel her heart trying to leap out of her ribcage.
Safe. I’m safe.
It had been nearly two years since Yamatai and Ailish still had nightmares. She knew exactly what it was: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. She had heard the guys talk, knew some of them struggled too. She had seen a few get discharged because of it. She’d spent a long time trying to convince herself she was fine. But in fact, she really wasn’t.
She needed air. Ailish quietly got out of her cot and shrugged on a few more layers before making sure her pistol was strapped to her body, just in case. She tiptoed past the guys by the light from her torch, and made her way out to the old guardhouse that was their temporary mess area. She just wanted some space to calm down.
Empty, thank God. The embers of the fire were enough to keep the warmth going. She pulled up a chair and settled in to watch the glow.
She kept replaying the last moments of her nightmare over and over in her head, despite trying her best to push it away. They were in that god-awful pit again, suffocating from the fumes. She checked ahead and yelled Clear! back to her second, Charlie. As he moved past her she heard something big land on the rock of the cavern floor behind them. Charlie swung back around and screamed at her to get down as a God-awful roar filled the cave, rattling her bones. He raised his gun to fire and Ailish shrieked at him stopitsgonnablow-
bang bang
BOOM
A flash of white light, then darkness. Waking up in terror once again from the memories that haunted her every night. At least she was alive, she had made it out. Charlie hadn’t, she couldn’t save him. She still blamed herself. The guys had tried to convince her again and again it was an accident, but she should have been there. In her dreams, she’d seen Charlie die a hundred times over, each more horrible than the last.
She had never been so close to quitting as she had after Yamatai. She had composed her resignation letter in her head on the helicopter ride back to civilization, but had never written it. Something told her it wasn’t time yet. She’d spent just over three years working with Trinity at that point and never questioned her beliefs before the clean-up mission to that hellhole. By all accounts it was even worse during the Nishimura expedition. She shuddered, it didn’t bear thinking about, how anyone could survive there for any length of time she’d never know. So many bodies. And in some places, the smell, it was unholy.
It didn’t help her sleep at night, but at least she had got a promotion out of it. The salary was great, which was a major reason for her staying put. Ailish was trying to help her parents put her younger sister through Yale, and every cent counted. Her mom and dad had just been grateful, and thankfully hadn’t yet asked where the money had come from. She didn’t want to have to lie. They’d hit the roof if they ever found out. As far as they were concerned, she was still working as a paralegal in Chicago. God, she missed her sister. She hadn’t seen her in months, and now Ailish was off-grid in Siberia. Freezing cold, snowy, desolate Siberia.
She was startled out of her thoughts by a voice outside. A deep voice, American accent. It sounded a lot like the Commander. She really hoped he wouldn’t come into the guardhouse. He was intimidating, and she’d never been in a room alone with him before. He sounded like he was talking on the phone.
“...and what did the doctor say?”
...
“Okay...Ana, are you smoking?”
...
“Yeah, I know, but-“
...
“Listen, she’s on the move. She may even already be in Siberia. I need you back here.”
...
“Got it, see you soon.”
Who was Ana? Was it his wife, girlfriend, daughter? Who was the other ‘she’ he was talking about?
Ailish heard footsteps coming up to the door and the latch lifting. Oh boy, here we go. I wasn’t eavesdropping, Commander, I swear.
He stopped dead when she saw her at the table. Obviously not expecting anyone else to be awake at this hour. He slid the cellphone he was carrying into a pocket and nodded at her before closing the door behind him. “Sergeant.”
“Evening-“ Ailish checked her watch. “Ah, morning, Commander. Sorry, sir. I’ll get out of your way.” She slid her chair back to leave.
“Stay. You were here first.” Ailish sat back down immediately, wide-eyed. “What are you doing up so late?”
“I couldn’t sleep, sir.” Not strictly true but she didn’t want to feel like a little schoolkid telling her superior she had a bad dream.
“Likewise.” He pulled up the chair opposite her and sat down with a sigh.
Something was bothering him, he seemed fidgety. Ailish didn’t really know what to do so she started twiddling her thumbs and rambling to fill the silence. “Gee, the weather’s really turned these past few days, huh? Ha ha...kind of makes me wish we were back in Syria. Although it was almost too hot-“
He cut her off. “Moscovitch, isn’t it?”
“Yes, sir.”
“We’re not on duty, you don’t have to call me sir.”
“Uh- yes. Okay, si- eh...Command- uhmm...”
“Konstantin is fine.”
“Okay.” It felt weird. Ailish wasn’t even sure if that was his first or last name. “You can call me Ailish. It’s slightly less of a mouthful than Moscovitch.”
“Don’t hear that name very often.”
“Yeah, it’s a weird one...my parents have always had this fascination with Ireland. It means ‘noble and kind’ or something like that...I dunno...”
He looked at her for a long moment. Ailish opened her mouth to speak again when a wolf howled up in the mountains. She grabbed for her pistol and her other hand tightened on the edge of the table until her knuckles turned white.
Konstantin saw her reaction and frowned. “Relax, it’s just a wolf, they don’t come down here-“
“Yeah, I know.” She started hyperventilating and bit her lip hard to fight back the tears. For God’s sake, don’t cry in front of the Commander. She hated hearing the wolves at night. Rationally, she knew they were miles away, but the sound still caused her pain.
For a moment she was back on Yamatai, wedged in a rocky crevice listening to the snarling as they hunted for her. The smell of rain, tree sap and decay all around. Her hands shaking as she pointed her rifle at the opening, just waiting for jaws and teeth to emerge around the corner and grab at her.
“Oh, shit.” This was going to be a bad episode. She’d had panic attacks increasingly often and could spot the signs of one approaching. Fortunately they usually hit when she was alone or could sneak away, but now she had no such luxury. Ailish knew this one had her beat.
Konstantin’s mouth tightened. “Language.”
She had time to blurt out “Terribly sorry sir!” before she slid off the chair onto the floor and crawled under the table.
The tears were now pouring out and rolling down her cheeks. What an embarrassment. She’d fought so hard to prove she was equal to the guys, and now she was being a silly little girl.
She felt the Commander’s boot gently tapping her back. “Mos- Ailish? Are you okay?”
“I will be, in a minute.” She panted.
Through the panic she heard the other chair scraping backwards. To her surprise Konstantin crouched and got down to her level under the table, facing her. Was he supposed to do that?
“You’ve normally got it together, Moscovitch.” Oh no, back on a last name basis. She’d definitely messed up. “Want to tell me what’s going on?”
Ailish shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut. “Just need a sec.”
The only sounds in the room were her panting and the low crackle of logs in the burner. She felt his gloved hand on her shoulder.
He quietly spoke. “Listen, I read the Yamatai report.” It was strange, how calming his voice was.
Ailish looked up, misty-eyed. “Yeah?”
He nodded. “I didn’t know they’d be sending a woman.”
“I’m just as capable-“
“Quiet. I’m saying it’s impressive you completed the mission, and even led part of the way, that place sounded like a nightmare.”
“It was.” Charlie, I should have saved you.
“And I am sorry you lost Corporal Collins. I know you were close.”
“Yeah...” she sniffed loudly. Her heart still hurt, so much. “He was like a brother. Charlie would have done anything for me. And I would have done the same for him.”
His eyes softened. “I know what that’s like.”
It meant a lot to Ailish, getting commiserations from a Trinity leader. Normally, you could forget about that sort of thing. Rourke had co-ordinated the Yamatai mission and hadn’t said a word to her when he had met them back on the mainland for debriefing. Dominguez had been silent too, though he had been one of those who had approved her promotion. They could be a heartless, insensitive bunch sometimes.
But she hadn’t expected the Commander to have a soft side. He actually reminded her of Charlie. Konstantin had a scarred-up face but there were similarities for sure. Blonde hair, blue eyes, they walked with the same purpose. He wasn’t bad-looking actually, as long as the light was dim.
Ailish eventually rallied and crawled back into her chair, still breathing quickly. Konstantin sat down too, regarding her with something akin to concern.
“Tell me the real reason you’re here by yourself in the middle of the night.”
She swallowed hard. “I...I have nightmares still.”
He shook his head. “I think you should talk to someone about this. If you’re serious about staying with Trinity. It would be a shame to bail out now that you’re a Sergeant.”
“I’m fine.” Ailish mumbled.
“You’re really not. I know someone who might be able to help, a doctor.”
“No, honestly...” Please no doctors, they might kick her out. She needed the money for Ellen’s tuition, she had to stay.
“I trust her, she’s with Trinity. Her name’s Wilkens. If I order you to see her you can’t say no.”
“Then I suppose it’s settled.” Great, just great.
“Indeed.”
He suddenly pulled his gloves off and took her hand in his. Ailish fought not to pull back out of his grasp. Was this really appropriate? Her free hand was reaching for her pistol when she realised he was just checking her pulse.
“Much better. Almost back to normal.”
She managed a small smile. “Thank you Commander.”
Ailish realised her hand felt strange under his, like a bug was crawling on her. She glanced down and started. “Your...uh, your hand is bleeding.”
Fresh blood was running down between her fingers onto the table. It was creepy as hell, she tried not to shiver. She’d been a bit squeamish about blood since she’d seen a literal underground river of it in Japan.
He didn’t react, just looked straight into her eyes. Ailish didn’t know what he expected her to do. She could still feel it trickling down her skin. Was he not alarmed that his hand had just started pouring blood? She was becoming visibly uncomfortable when he finally answered her.
“They’re old wounds. It happens sometimes.” He held up his other hand, palm facing towards her. “See?” That one was also dripping crimson.
Ailish almost gagged. Ugh, now she knew why he wore gloves all the time, even in the heat of Syria. What was the name for those wounds? Stigmata, or something like that. A sign of divine favour, apparently.
The urge to ask how he got them was overwhelming. Actually, she better not, it was maybe a touchy subject. The Commander could be...violent. She’d seen what he could do when he was pissed off. She had the fleeting thought that maybe he would hurt her, or worse, if the mood took him. Everyone else was asleep, who would know?
He spoke, jolting her back to reality. “Did you pray on Yamatai, Ailish?”
She nodded, not breaking the eye contact. “Yes sir, for my life, almost constantly.”
“And you truly believe in what we are trying to accomplish?”
“Yes sir.”
“Hmmm...”
There was a long pause, he seemed to be having an internal conversation she wasn’t privy to. Finally he nodded. “Keep your faith, Ailish. You have already been tested, and you’re still here. I believe you are destined for something greater, like myself.”
“Sir?”
He smiled at her, but it was cold and calculating, he reminded her of a shark. His eyes were suddenly dark and empty.
“The name Ailish is Celtic, yes. But did you know it has a different meaning in Hebrew?”
“You know Hebrew?” She asked in surprise. He ignored her.
“Your name means consecrated to God.”
She wasn’t sure she liked his train of thought. Ailish knew he was one of the more devout members of Trinity, but she didn’t know how deep it ran.
“I’m sorry, Commander, I’m not sure what you’re getting at...”
“I want to keep a closer eye on you, Sergeant. You report directly to me now, do you understand?”
“Yes sir.” She nodded, albeit reluctantly.
“And let me talk to Wilkens. We’ll help you, don’t skip out on Trinity yet.” He finally let go of her bloodstained hand. Ailish could smell it, metallic.
Konstantin stood up, pulling his gloves on. “I have a feeling we’re going to need you for something important.”
Ailish was dumbfounded, what had she agreed to? She didn’t like not knowing, but the Commander wasn’t a man you just said no to.
As he opened the door with a blast of cold air Konstantin turned back, giving her that empty smile again. “Get some sleep, Sergeant. That’s an order.”
“O...kay.” The door clicked shut, and he was gone.
Ailish glanced down at the mess on her hand. She felt like she’d been marked in some way.
Stigmata.
What did he mean?
Consecrated to God. What was it that Konstantin, or some other higher power had planned for her?
What was her purpose?
***
Thank you for reading!
~ Anyone who has read Behind Trinity Lines will recognise the character of Dr. Joanna Wilkens, I couldn’t not include her somehow! She is awesome and I love her. All credit to @BrittanyTheScrivener on Ao3 for Jo’s character. Her work is brilliant, if you haven’t read it I highly suggest you do
~ Sergeant Ailish Moscovitch, her family and Corporal Charlie Collins are my characters, all other characters mentioned are property of the Tomb Raider creative team and I take no ownership of them
~ I feel I should mention that nothing in this work is intended to cause offence or be blasphemous in any way. I myself am not religious at all but I am respectful of those who choose to be and anything I’ve written is only exploring character traits already displayed in the Tomb Raider video games
~ I have no current plans to update this with more chapters, it was intended to be a one-shot. I just really wanted to play with Konstantin’s heavily religious side. But if there is interest I might continue the story...what exactly does Konstantin have planned for Ailish? Where does she fit in with the events in Rise of the Tomb Raider? What will Ana think of her? What would happen if Ailish and Lara ever crossed paths? This could get interesting...
#not uncharted#tomb raider#rise of the tomb raider#trinity#fanfiction#tomb raider fanfiction#konstantin#my writing#the very first fanfic I ever wrote#tw: blood#tw: ptsd#tw: religious trauma#so extra with the little picture i made#lara croft#konstantin x female oc#konstantin is not averse to human sacrifice#just putting that out there#my fanfiction#probably nobody will read this but i dont care#i gotta thing for men with high hairlines#crisis of faith
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