#komh feedback

[thisismeracing]

Hey! I just wanna say that King of My Heart is theBomb.com literally love it so much❤️❤️❤️ can’t wait for the next part to come out🤩🤩🤩

Hiii!!! Omggggg 🥹🥹😭😭💜💜💜💜 thank you sm!!!!! I’m really really happy to read this!

Next chapter coming soon, hopefully! hehe

[jahayla-parker]

Oh my goodness that’s so incredibly sweet!! I’m sooooo happy you like it so far! 💛

King Of My Heart : Nikolai Lantsov x Reader Series

Part 1

For warnings, descriptions, and previous parts, see series masterlist here.

Nikolai hated y/n for as long as he could remember. His family and y/n’s family had spent nearly every summer together since he was a small child. It made summers the most despicable time of year for him. Her family was tolerable; just your standard royal family. But, y/n? Nikolai couldn’t stand her presence.

Y/n couldn’t stand Nikolai. She knew the feeling was mutual between them, but it didn’t make things less tense between the two. In fact, their obvious mutual hatred towards each other only made her more frustrated that Nikolai’s family proposed a marriage arrangement between the two. Y/n thought Nikolai’s hatred towards her would’ve been strong enough to cause him to act against such a suggestion. Unfortunately for her, Nikolai did no such thing.

Even though y/n heard him approaching, she refused to make eye contact with Nikolai, her betrothed. She ignored him as he neared her side while she stared out at the palace gardens.

“We’re supposed to uphold a façade, you know,” Nikolai scolded, leaning on the balcony railing.

Y/n pursed her lips as she shook her head. She could feel Nikolai’s eyes on her, but she still refused to look at him. “You really hate me enough to force me to marry you?” Y/n asked him, eyes focusing on the stars above the shadowed gardens.

Nikolai rolled his eyes. He huffed loudly, still watching y/n closely. “You really think I want this?” Nikolai asked rhetorically. “Summers were torturous as it was, I don’t need all year… for the rest of my life”.

Y/n shifted her jaw, briefly looking at Nikolai from the corner of her eye. “Yet, here we are,” she sighed loudly. Y/n steepled her hands on the railing, refocusing on the dark sky.

“Why are you so mad about this?” Nikolai questioned. He watched the brief confusion on y/n’s face shift into anger.

Y/n turned to Nikolai. Her eyes shot daggers at him. “You don’t get it do you?!” She hissed. Y/n looked towards the patio doors to ensure no one was around. “I have no choice in this. I knew I’d likely never be able to marry for love,” she admitted with a sigh. “But, I didn’t expect to be married off to …”.

“To?” Nikolai asked with a loud breath.

“To someone like you,” y/n answered breathily. “To someone I cannot stand to be around. To someone who hates me just as much as I hate them,” she explained.

Nikolai hummed loudly. “Why do you hate me so much?” he asked.

“I could ask you the same,” y/n retorted with a knowing glance.

The newly betrothed couple fell into an uncomfortable silence. The only sounds were the faint musical tones seeping through the closed patio glass and gold paneled doors.

When y/n shook her head, still not looking his way, Nikolai smirked. “Silver lining is you’re marrying a fairly handsome prince, you could do much worse,” he bragged smugly.

Y/n nearly snorted. She quickly covered her mouth to silence the sound. “The only silver lining I see is that life is short,” y/n remarked.

Nikolai taped y/n’s head jokingly. “Yeah, so are you,” he snickered. Nikolai groaned when y/n rolled her eyes in response. “Keep rolling your eyes at me, maybe you'll find a brain back there.”

Y/n laughed humorously. “At least I’d have something to find,” she muttered.

Nikolai watched y/n’s face as she tried to focus back on the gardens, clearly trying to distract herself. He sighed and whispered, “be honest with me”.

Y/n huffed, glancing back over at Nikolai. “But why? Why would I do that?" She asked sharply.

Nikolai smirked at her. “Because we have to spend the rest of our lives together,” he reminded her.

“Don’t remind me.” Y/n groaned. She prepared herself for whatever Nikolai’s next attack would be. After waiting a few silent moments, she sighed. “What?” Y/n asked, indirectly agreeing to be honest as he had requested.

Nikolai turned completely towards y/n. “Why are you going through with this if you hate me so much?”

Y/n sighed loudly. She slowly moved her gaze from the gardens over to Nikolai. Once she was facing him, she took a deep breath. “Because I love my country, and this,” y/n said, pointing to herself and then at Nikolai. “Evidently, is what it needs,” she explained. After all, that was truly the only reason she hadn’t run away by now.

Nikolai nodded silently. He wordlessly gazed out at the gardens.

“You?” Y/n questioned, understanding that distant gaze.

Nikolai turned back to y/n. “What?”. When she simply raised an eyebrow at him, he smirked. “Oh, you just couldn’t get me off your mind?” He winked.

Y/n scoffed loudly. “Why are you going though with this if you hate me so much?” she asked, echoing Nikolai’s question to her.

“Mmm,” Nikolai hummed. “Are you quoting me?” His smirk grew.

Y/n rolled her eyes at Nikolai. She silently turned to leave. Her ballgown’s skirt floating across the concrete balcony during her turn.

Nikolai reached out and grabbed y/n’s wrist. He quickly let go when she turned to glare at him. “For Ravka,” he answered.

Y/n nodded in understanding. She forced a small smile. “At least we have one thing in common,” y/n agreed. “Other than our hatred,” she added on her way back to the welcoming party.

Zoya smirked as Y/n approached her. She’d known the Princess for quite some time. They often spent time together during the summers after Zoya moved into the Little Palace. She hugged y/n in greeting, not having been able to see her upon her initial arrival today. “I should have David whip me up some earplugs”.

“What?” Y/n asked. She was confused as to what Zoya was trying to joke about. Y/n knew Zoya long enough to know she was making a joke. But y/n couldn’t tell what it was.

Zoya smirked and nodded her head towards Nikolai. He was standing across the hall from them, Zoya having watched him saunter in not long after y/n. Zoya then turned and nodded at y/n, finalizing her joke.

Y/n rewarded Zoya with an exasperated and offended look. “Excuse me?!” She tried to keep her voice down as to not draw the attention of the other guests, but it only added more tension to her tone. She knew of the Prince’s rumored less-than-pure activities, but couldn’t believe Zoya would think y/n would participate; betrothed or not.

Zoya nearly choked on her drink as she began laughing. “Not what I meant,” she smirked, raising a taunting eyebrow. “I was referring to the slamming doors that always happen when you two are forced to spend time together,” Zoya explained with a laugh.

Nina walked over to join her friends. She wrapped her arm lovingly around Y/n’s shoulder. “But! Why did your heart go up when you thought she was talking about you and Nikolai having-“ the heartrender asked.

“Enough Nina!” Y/n smacked Nina’s arm, making the girls laugh. “Because I was appalled is why,” she defended. “By the way, hello to you too,” y/n laughed, trying to change the topic off of her hatred of Nikolai.

“Mhm, if you say so,” Nina whispered. She smirked with Zoya as they shared a wordless knowing look.

“Saints, I already have to spend time with Nikolai even though I hate him,” y/n said exasperatedly. “Don’t go and make me hate you both too.”

Just as Zoya’s smirk widened while she opened her mouth to release some snarky comment, Genya waltzed over to their group. She smiled widely at y/n and shook her head softly. “Still so beautiful y/n/n,” Genya cooed as she cupped y/n’s face.

Y/n bit her bottom lip. But, she quickly stopped, letting the slightly inflamed lip pop back into place as Genya’s gaze scolded her for the action. “Thank you Genya,” y/n said with a grin.

“Of course Miss Y/L/N,” Genya teased lightly. She always used ‘Miss’ or ‘Princess’ whenever joking around with y/n. “Or, should I say Mrs. Lants-“ Genya began.

“No, you should not,” y/n advised. She shook her head firmly, glaring around at her taunting friends. Couldn’t they see the situation she was being forced into here?

“True,” Genya sighed. “Perhaps it’s a bit too soon, hmm,” she agreed. “I should’ve said soon-to-be Mrs.-“.

Y/n rolled her eyes. She held up a hand to stop Genya’s tease and silence her other friends’ giggling. “Can we talk about something else?” Y/n pleaded with a groan.

“Are you kidding?” Nina huffed. “We have a royal wedding to plan,” she giggled, smirking.

“You have to work on hiding your disgust,” Zoya commented when y/n groaned over Nina’s comment.

“No promises,” y/n mumbled. She glanced sharply over at Nikolai for a brief moment before back to her group.

Zoya sighed sympathetically. “It’s for the country,” she reminded y/n more warmly than normal. When y/n nodded and relaxed some, Zoya decided to indulge herself a bit. “Besides, he’s not bad on the eyes.” She winked.

“Oh my Saints!” Y/n gushed. She shook her head adamantly. “You need to stop,” y/n pleaded, trying to resist the urge to smack her own face with her palm.

“What’re we talking about?” Nikolai asked. He’d made his way over once he caught y/n glancing at him. It had been from the corner of his eye, but he saw it. And Nikolai could tell they were gossiping about him. While he didn’t care to come over, he’d heard whispers from some guests doubting the strength of their courtship.

Therefore, Nikolai pasted on a polite smile and placed his hand on y/n’s waist. When he saw her eyes snap to him with fury, Nikolai just nodded subtly in the direction of the spectating guests.

Y/n sighed quietly and forced a smile. She silently pleaded with her friends for help with the situation. There wasn’t much they could do, but y/n was hoping for at least a distraction to get her mind off the fact she could feel the warmth of Nikolai’s hand on her waist through the material of her dress.

Genya hummed. “I was just saying, Y/n is going to make my job so easy,” she said, answering Nikolai’s question. “Don’t you think she’ll be such a beautiful bride, moi tsarevich?” Genya questioned smugly.

Y/n shook her head at her friend. “I don’t know which I want to do more, thank you or slap you, Genya,” she hissed.

Genya laughed and raised her eyebrows at Nikolai.

Nikolai paused and pretended to ponder the notion, taking y/n’s appearance in. “Perhaps the tailors won’t have to work overtime to make the wedding look half decent,” he conceded.

“Geee, thanks,” y/n sassed. She rolled her eyes, making the girls laugh.

Nina gasped. “Wait!”. “That reminds me, let me see your hand,” Nina gushed, grabbing y/n’s hand.

Nikolai knew everyone’s eyes were cast down to y/n’s hand, not just his. Yet, as his eyes landed on the Lantsov emerald ring on her hand, he felt short of breath. Nikolai swallowed thickly as he caught himself thinking that it almost seemed like it belonged there; to her, to y/n. But, he mentally shouted at himself to stop that delirious thought. After all, it was surely only Nikolai’s sense of duty to his country that had him thinking that. He hated y/n. Even if she was what was needed to help Ravka.

“Are you unpacked?” Nina asked y/n, pulling Nikolai from his distracting thoughts.

Before Y/n could answer, Zoya answered for her. She answered matter of factly, “of course, the staff should’ve un-“.

“Not quite”. Y/n cut Zoya off in order to accurately answer Nina’s question.

Nikolai turned to y/n. He raised his eyebrow and formed a smug grin. “Too enthralled by the elaborate decorations my parents thought were necessary?” Nikolai teased, sarcastically waving at said decorations.

Y/n stared at Nikolai and rolled her eyes. Her eyes softened as she turned back to the rest of the group. “I prefer not to have others handling my things,” y/n admitted.

“What are you hiding? Sneaking in a personal tailor?” Nikolai asked. His implied insult was clear and had the others staring at y/n expectantly.

“Awe,” y/n cooed. Her tone dripped sarcasm as she continued her taunt. “You think I’m so pretty I must have snuck a tailor?” Y/n smirked through her grin. When Nikolai faltered, her smirk grew. Returning to the actual question at hand, she shrugged. “Just a sword and an escape bag,” y/n teased, eyeing Nikolai. “For when this becomes as disastrous as it already seems it’ll be,” she explained.

It took Nikolai a moment to recover from her earlier comment. But he shook his head and pulled himself together enough to issue a comeback. “Ahh, running away from one’s duties?” Nikolai huffed. “Admirable,” Nikolai scoffed.

Y/n laughed humorlessly. “Really?!” She choked. Y/n shook her head as she rolled her eyes at Nikolai. “That’s rich,” Y/n chided, copying his loud scoff.

Nikolai merely squinted in response.

“Sturmhond,” y/n mumbled, making Nikolai falter. As his eyes widened dramatically, she smirked. “Close your mouth, moi tsarevich,” y/n mocked, “or you’ll catch flies”. In response to Nikolai’s scarlet cheeks, she decided to continue her remarks. “And, duty or not, I don’t kiss men with bugs in their teeth,” y/n smirked.

Nikolai’s cheeks flushed darker as he found himself at a loss for words. He watched silently as y/n sauntered away for the night. When Nikolai turned back to their group, the others girls were smirking at him. “What?”

Tag list: @iambored24601 @nghtwngs @dcmaniac101 @naushtheaspiringauthor @larathebee @hereiamhereigo @lareinaa007 @halfofagayallofaqueer @el-de-phi @kiroshki @caspianobsessed @hauntedenthusiasttragedy @adalia-jaycee @ell0ra-br3kk3r @wonderland2425 @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @kateswone @liter4ti @torresbarnes @mischiefmanaged71 @casualladyinternet @im-here-sometimes @moonflowersandsparkles @h-l-vlovesvintage @dinonuggiessss @nikfigueiredo @bubybubsters @sublimepenguinpeach-blog

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[sheerioswifties]

More nail art inspo!

Okay so after some feedback I've got more inspiration to share. You could do a mix of a lot of things Reputation themed, and lyric themed! First there's easy snakeskin(YouTube tutorials are abundant for this)

And then there's lyric inspired. I'll list these out, and then if anyone wants picture examples lmk!

You could do an ombre blue-to-gold nail for "deep blue but you painted me golden"

Fire/flames for IDSB

Witch hat for IDSB

An American flag w/ a crown over it for "American Queen"

Red lips for several lyrics hehe

An Old Fashioned, or wine, etc

A car for Getaway Car

Speaking of cars, if you wanted to get really elaborate you could do a Range Rover/Jaguar...

Blue eyes for both/either "ocean blue eyes" or "oh, damn, never seen that color blue" or even just paint one nail blue

"Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it? Written down a nail

"Gorgeous" with pink hearts

Palm trees for "island breeze/move to an island"

You could do a nail in a nude color with neon blue lines in it like Taylor's body suit in the RFI video

The A Team logo (lol)

"BANG!"

"BIG REPUTATION" Maybe in black and white like the tees in the @tsofficialmerch store

Broken bones with a bandaid on them with a heart on the bandaid for "my broken bones are mending"

Ohhhh you could try to do versions of Taylor's art from the Reputation magazines

The "..." for ...So It Goes; RFI etc

A gold cage

Something to represent pieces falling into place

"1, 2, 3"

Jeans and the Nike symbol

A glow in the dark cell phone on black background for "phone lights up my nightstand in the black"

A note with glittery bits coming up off it like in the first Delicate video

Tied hands

Joe's name "carved" into a wood grain background. .hehe

A phone in the style of the one Tay uses in the LWYMMD (and Our Song!) Video

A big blue neon/glow "T" on black background

Keys for "kingdom keys"

"Karma"

A list with names in red underlined😂

A hat with a bunny peeking out for magician/illusionist

A heart with a crown over it for KOMH

Red solo cups hehe

The Necklace™

Pills with "my baby" written on them

A cartoon style money bag (bag with the $ symbol on it) for Getaway Car

A dress. ..

Lightning or an electric spark for "at least we were electrified"

Maybe like a line with "you" written on it to represent "my one and only, my lifeline"

Diamonds for both the LWYMMD video and "Feelin' so Gatsby"

Chandelier ("bass beat rattling...")

A map with a red x on it for "I bury hatchets but I keep maps of where I put em"

Sunglasses for "if only you weren't so shady..."

A fence with an axe chopping into it for TIWWCHNT

"Ha! Ha! Ha!" For the Cackle™

A crumbling castle for CIWYW

Flowers w/ thorns, a campfire, joker hat, "drama" written with a crown in it...so many ideas for all the imagery in CIWYW

Black nail w/ stars and blue eyes for "starry eyes sparkin' up my darkest night"

Calendar pages that say "NOV", "SEPT," and/or "JAN 1"...

Glitter nail

Polaroids, candle wax and glitter...

"Hold on to the memories"

Okay I could go on and on, there's so many cool things you could do! I'd love to hear more ideas from you guys!??

[thisismeracing]

*sees meeting corinna and gina on the masterlist for king of my heart*

GIVE IT TO ME NOW PLEASE 💳💥💳💥💳💥

(in all seriousness i love this series and i dont want it to and any time soon and take all the time in the world to write and release anything associated with it)

(hamilton!reader interacting with mick’s family is so fucking good and i need more of it in my life)

xoxo,

☕️

hihihi I actually started to reeeally work on this extra two days ago, it’s coming soon!!! 🩷🩷🥳

I am so so happy you like it, nonnyyyy! Komh was the first thing I published so it holds a special place in my heart.

(Feel free to send scenarios/extra suggestions if you have any! *mwah*)

[thisismeracing]

TYSM FOR CORRINA AND GINA MEETING HAMILTON!READER

IT WAS SO GOOD

I LOVED THE ENDING ELEVATOR SCENE WITH THE SCHUMI TRIO

IT WAS SO CUTE AND FLUFFY

THE WHOLE THING REALLY WAS

AHHHHHHHHH GINA AND HAMILTON!READER ARE THE ABSOLUTE BEST PAIRING IN THIS SERIES

COMING IN CLOSE SECOND IS CORRINA AND HAMILTON !READER THO

MICK MOVE OVER IT THE SCHUMACHER GIRLS AND HAMILTON!READER SERIES NOW

(srry for the capslock im just very excited about this komh extra)

☕

AKDJKAKDJS OMG OMG THANK YOU SM, NONNYYY!!! THIS EXTRA CAME FASTER PARTIALLY BC OF YOU AND ALL THE MESSAGES YOU GUYS LEFT CUZ THE ASK YOU SENT GAVE ME SUCH A MOTIVATION BOOST 🥹💖💖💖

AND YEAH HAMILTON!READER W THE SCHUMACHERS IS JUST *chef kiss* skdjsjs

No need to apologize, I absolutely loved each and every word from this ask!!!! Thank you sm for showing your support, babes *virtual hug* 🤍

Read the extra here

[the-claire-bitch-project]

Not everyone has to like, write reviews that are this long, but waking up to a review like this... I’m honestly tearing up a little because it’s reviews like this that keep me going!!!

Everyone is saying I put a ton of research into it but really I googled olympic workouts and nutrition, the dates of the trials and how the process of making the Olympic team works that’s all! The rest of it? The details about breastroke and body control? I know that because of my own life!

WHEN PEOPLE TELL YOU TO WRITE WHAT YOU KNOW THIS IS WHY! BECAUSE YOU WILL WRITE IT WELL AND PEOPLE WILL LOVE IT!

I’m very happy everyone has been enjoying KOMH. I can’t wait to write more (have to finish a final first). Thank y’all for the wonderful feedback 🥺☺️

King of My Heart - One - B.H.

Summary: Cassidy King is an Olympian. Four years ago she competed in Rio. Unfortunately, she didn’t live up to expecations. Now she’s preparing to go to the trials to compete again in Tokyo. After four years of swimming with a team that doesn’t feel like a team, she’s finally found a friend. Ben Jones is also preparing for the trials, and he’s felt like an outcast in other ways. With a dual-citizenship and a quiet personality, their teammates treat him like he doesn’t deserve to compete for Team USA. Together, they’ll push each other harder and faster to perfection.

Pairing: Ben Hardy x OC

AU: Collegiate/Olympic Swimming

Word Count: 9.1k

Warnings: Sexual/vulgar commentary

A/N: Okay so, for the sake of the AU, I’ve had to change some details about Ben. First and foremost would be his height. 5′9 isn’t gonna cut it for an Olympic swimmer, so we’ll say he’s about 6′4. I’ve also decided to give him dual-citizenship in order to make it possible for him to compete with the US.

Thank you as always to @bensbuttercup for her moodboard skills and for hyping me up! Thank you to @hollandlovely for being critical of my writing in ways I cannot be! I love you both <3

Cassidy King always had the same day. For nearly 4 years she’d had the same day. Alarm at 4:30am. Snooze for 5 minutes. Wake up, get dressed, take laptop off charger, grab protein shake, the four tupperware containers with her food for the day, and sneak out the door without turning on a single light or disturbing her roommate, Priya, and her boyfriend sleeping in the other room. It was a day in mid-May, during the last week of classes for her senior year, that she suddenly had a different day. The first day of practice on her own to prepare for the Olympic trials in late June. First day she didn’t have to hear whispers behind her back and deal with guys leering at her and making gross comments about her body.

The walk to the Lee and Joe Jamail Texas Swimming Center was nice this early in the morning. In a month it would be hot and humid, but for now, Cassidy enjoyed the walk. Birds were beginning to chirp, coming out of hiding in the late spring. Unfortunately, with spring, came pollen, and by the time she reached the back door to the locker room, Cassidy was struggling to breathe through her nose. She’d have to clear the snot out before getting in the pool. A disgusting process that involved spraying saline up her nostril and attempting to clear her sinuses of any and all mucus. Usually she managed to fuck up her ears in the process. Not being able to hear wasn’t that bad though. She’d be underwater anyway.

Keep reading

[thisismeracing]

Hi! I’m the one who reblogged every chapter of Komh. I originally came here to say I’m sorry if I spammed you, but I am happy to see that it makes you happy. I would also like to be added to the taglist for King of my heart.

Hi, love!! It made my dayyy!!! Thank you so much 🥹❤️ I’ll make sure to tag you on the next chapters hihi

I just saw you added yourself to my regular taglist too, was it in reference to komh or you want to be tagged in everything else I eventually post about him?

[thisismeracing]

Oh I missed king of my heart 🫶🏻🥹🥹🥹

🥹🥹💖💖 I missed writing it too!!! aaaa

[thisismeracing]

miss millie! I read all of king of my heart in one sitting and am now WHIPPED for mick. Can’t wait for the next part x

omggggg I am so so so happy to read this. Im glad you liked it babes, komh will always have a special place in my heart since it was the fic that started everything in here 🥹 I’ll update soon!!! 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

[thisismeracing]

Omg thank you, love!!! 🥹💗💗💗💗

King of my heart | Mick Schumacher

Mick Schumacher rode a lousy wave for quite some time, so when the sky gets cleaner and the sun brighter he just knows something terrible may be in store for him. Whereas y/n was just so magnetic, and the possibilities of life with her seemed better than anything his mind could ever create, that's why, for the first time in forever, he throws cautious carelessly through the window, hoping to get to the finish line before it catches up on him.

Warnings: explicit language, smut, alcohol, angst, not proofread, and so on, please check each chapter's warnings before reading.

Pairing: Mick Schumacher x Hamilton!reader (she/her)

Series status: ongoing

A/n: I do not permit my work to be reposted on a different platform. This is my only account, if you see my work somewhere else, please let me know!

Psa. The pics from the social media chapter are not mine.

CHAPTERS

01. siblings or dating (smau)

02. cookies and free rides (smau)

03. breakfast dates and shared clothes (smau)

04. the first time they met (regular c.)

05. shoulder and sugar to lean on (regular c.)

06. paris fashion week and china gp (smau)

07. sharing playlists and history (regular c.)

08. sightseeing and race-week-dump (smau)

09. sharing is caring (regular c.)

10. privacy sign at the door (regular c.)

11. he's got a girlfriend (smau)

12. gathering the fam (smau)

13. spotted and discovered (smau)

14. the past comes to say hello (smau)

15. our love is a secret I'm trying to keep (regular c.)

16. closing doors (regular c.)

17.

18.

19.

20.

DRABBLES & HEADCANONS & EXTRAS

creating a shared playlist

meeting Corinna and Gina

telling Lewis about Mick

Mick defending Yn from a mean journalist

💌 texts between mick and yn

oklahoma, memes, and pov

[jahayla-parker]

I owe you guys more reblogs in response to reblogging/sharing my posts and/or giving feedback!

I also owe more KoMH and Karma parts!

It’s all coming, but I might be MIA for a bit.

I just found out today that apparently I unexpectedly lost my health insurance coverage a month ago. (Long story, but you can message me if you care to know more lol)

So I’ve got a mess to deal with before I can do any of that!

Sorry in advance! I love you all 💜

[thisismeracing]

I’m happy you liked them, bestie 🥹🩷🩷

King of my heart | extras | texting 02

A peek into Mick and Yn’s messages

A/n: Just another peek on Yn and Mick's messages :) this is before the breakup! <3

A/n2: Feel free to send in thoughts on Yn and Mick from komh or a diff Yn or just Mick or whatever *mwah*

Warnings: suggestive messages; mention of food; typos; cursing; minors DNI!

💌

💌

taglist: @sachaa-ff @ferrariloverr @mickslover @mishaandthebrits @iloveyou3000morgan @crimeshowjunkie @fdl305 @saintslewis @carojasmin2204 @chaoticevilbakugo @wondergirl101ks @smiithys @shhhchriss @f1kota @lunnnix @leclercsluv @baby-is-crying @karmabyfernando @crashingwavesofeuphoria @schumacheer @callsign-scully @v1naco @dearxcherry @p8dris @heelariously @peachiicherries @elliegrey2803 @he6rtshaker @therealcap @mehrmonga @thatgibbsygirl @the-depressed-fellow @cixrosie @darleneslane @buckybarnessweetheart @minkyungseokie

⁕ my masterlist and my taglist

© All rights reserved to thisismeracing on Tumblr

[jahayla-parker]

Sorry for the late response, I just got back from vacation!

Oh my freaking gosh, thank you so so much! You’re far too kind! I should hopefully have another part out for you soon! 💛

King Of My Heart : Nikolai Lantsov x Reader Series

Part 2

For warnings, descriptions, and previous parts, see series masterlist here.

“What scent Princess y/n?” One of the Lantsov servants asked respectfully. She held a small scroll that had a list of different scents. “There’s vanilla, or lavender, amber, sage” the servant began. “Or perhaps a eucalyptus or lemon? Or we could have one custom made-“ She suggested.

Y/n smiled appreciatively. “Honestly, love,” she said warmly. “I appreciate this, but I assure you, you mustn’t go through all this trouble or these formalities,” y/n assured her. She knew the servant would likely still not have an option to behave any other way, but at least she could offer. “Any scent is fine,” y/n promised, “whatever is the easiest for you will work quite well”.

Nikolai wandered up, eyeing y/n. He smiled kindly to the servant before turning to his betrothed. “For what?” Nikolai asked, feigning curiosity instead of attempting to find a new topic of insult.

“I am needing a new bar of hand soap,” Y/n stated briefly, not otherwise addressing Nikolai’s presence. “Miss s/l/n was just assisting me in locating one, as I’m not familiar with the palace quite yet,” she added, smiling graciously at the servant.

Nikolai raised an eyebrow. He slowly turned towards y/n more, standing slightly between her and the servant now. “There’s hand soap in the bathroom already, Your Royal Majesty,” Nikolai mocked.

The servant attempted to stifle their gasp. They were shocked that the Prince had intentionally misused the Princess’s title. Their frightened but curious eyes glanced between Nikolai and y/n as they waited for their orders.

Y/n faked a smile and laughed softly at Nikolai to throw the servant off the scent; pretending as if it were an inside joke. When she saw it seemed to work, y/n smiled softly at the servant. “Thank you miss s/l/n. Please feel free to choose whatever scent you’d like, truly,” she offered, signaling the servant was free to leave the couple.

“I’m well aware of that fact,” y/n hissed, turning to Nikolai after the servant left. “I will be needing my own,” she explained casually, walking away from him.

“Seriously?!” Nikolai laughed. “You’re so spoiled you need your own soap?” He questioned with an eye roll.

“Charming, Your Royal Majesty,” y/n snarked, glancing over her shoulder at Nikolai. “No, I’m needing it since I don’t know where your hands have been and I prefer not to,” she feigned a shiver of disgust as she turned her face forward again.

“Whatever,” Nikolai groaned. “I came to get you as-“ he began.

“As you missed me?” Y/n teased. “I’m afraid I cannot return the sentiment,” she dissed, continuing to walk down the long palace hallway.

“We have a meeting to attend,” Nikolai argued, ignoring y/N’s remark.

“You,” y/n stated, turning around to face Nikolai. “You have a meeting to attend,” she disagreed, nodding her head in the other direction from where she was headed.

Nikolai rolled his eyes in frustration. “They’re expecting-“ he argued, already tired of having to explain their royal responsibilities to y/n.

“And I’m sure you’ll be able to charm your way through their disappointment of my absence today,” y/n smirked. She turned from him. “Now, I must be going”.

Nikolai went to the meeting. But his mind was elsewhere. Despite his best attempts, Nikolai couldn’t help but wonder where y/n had ventured off to. He scolded himself for not focusing on his responsibilities. Even more so for being distracted by her.

Nikolai told himself his wondering was simply because he was frustrated y/n ditched the meeting. Even to himself, it didn’t feel like whole truth. But, it was all he could come up with.

After over an hour of suffering through the boring meeting, Nikolai decided to leave early. He offered a generic excuse, saying he was sorry but had other responsibilities to attend to. Once Nikolai slipped out of the room, he began to wander in the direction he’d last seen y/n heading.

Nikolai’s lips parted as he checked another room. He’d peeked in through the doorway of an old office space his parents long abandoned. He wasn’t sure why his parents ever discarded its usage.

It was still a nice room. The floors were polished high-quality wood paneled. The walls were hand-painted with gold accents. Hanging from the ceiling in the center of the room was an enormous and elegant chandelier. The window faced one of the palace’s gardens and let in some warm lighting. The light from the window, even at this hour, was enough to delicately shimmer off the edges of the crystals on the chandelier, increasing the glow of the room.

But, Nikolai’s eyes weren’t focused on how beautiful the room was. He could only see how disgustingly radiant y/n looked. As much as he hated to admit it, Nikolai was in awe of the girl before him.

Y/n was only stretching at the moment; having already finished for the evening. She had changed out of her ballgown and was now in her athleisure wear. It was a plain pair of skin-tight leggings and a long sleeve wrap top. Nothing fancy, yet modest and flexible enough for y/n to dance in.

Nikolai hadn’t seen this soft side of y/n before. His eyes first took note of how her hair was tied up in a sloppy top knot. His eyes then noticed the causal, relaxed and comfortable, clothing she’d opted for. Nikolai couldn’t remember a time in which he’d seen her so relaxed.

As far as he could remember, Nikolai always saw y/n in her royal attire, her hair done flawlessly, makeup applied presumably by her family’s servants, etc. In other words, he was used to her Princess persona. Nikolai hadn’t ever seen her like this. Saints, he didn’t know this side of her existed. Did he?

Just as Nikolai began to try and think of any other rarities like what was before him now, someone tapped his shoulder.

Zoya had seen Nikolai standing in the doorway of the office-turned-dance studio. She smirked as she noticed the Prince was obviously watching y/n rather closely. When Nikolai turned to her in reaction to her tapping on his shoulder, Zoya nodded her head to the hallway.

Nikolai risked one last curious glance at y/n, forcing a fake grimace he hoped Zoya didn’t see through. He cautiously closed the door, having been holding it open just enough to peek his head in. Nikolai didn’t need y/n knowing he was there. Much less that he had watched her cool down and stretch. Nikolai knew what y/n would assume and mock him for. And that’s not what happened. He wasn’t enamored by the sight, he was just curious. After all, shouldn’t Nikolai know what his future wife was up to?

Zoya waited until she and Nikolai were down the hallway more before she spoke. “Your parents, the King and Queen, promised Y/n a private space to use as a dance studio,” Zoya informed him impassively. “Similar to what she had at home. Well, her former home I suppose,” she added, her tone more sympathetic now.

Nikolai nodded his head slowly. He knew Zoya had caught him watching her. Plus, this conversation kept Nikolai from having to ask y/n or spy on her again for more information. And, at least Zoya seemed to think it was just because Nikolai was confused and curious. Which he was; that’s all it was. Or at least that’s what he kept telling himself.

“Before you ask,” Zoya stated, straightening her back, “I don’t know why y/n wanted the room when as already gave an established ballroom”. She sighed quietly, glancing towards the engraved door that led to where y/n was. “That being said, while you’re evidently too stubborn to see what’s really going on around here,” Zoya groaned, eyeing Nikolai up and down. “Don’t ruin this for her. Whatever reasons you believe you’ve got for your displeasure with y/n, it’s been arranged for her to be your wife. Let her have this one thing,” she ordered.

Nikolai squinted, slightly insulted by Zoya’s insinuation. “I wasn’t-“ He attempted to argue.

Zoya rolled her eyes. “Nikolai, I’ve known both of you long enough by now. I’m no fool,” she sighed. “I don’t understand the alleged hatred thing between you two”. When Nikolai went to respond, Zoya waved him off. “Nonetheless, it would be wise to not entirely piss off the woman who very well might be the future queen of our country”.

While she’d never say it, Zoya also didn’t want Nikolai upsetting y/n for y/n’s sake. She was friends with both the Prince and Princess. As such, she could see through this charade of hatred they claimed to have towards one another. Zoya refused to meddle in the matter, but she also didn’t want y/n to suffer if Nikolai did truly hold even just enough hatred to deny y/n of this one luxury.

Nikolai scoffed, “Vasily is the Crown Prince, Nazyalensky”. “Not to mention, I’m not cruel enough to do anything about,” he waved down the hall, “whatever that is”. “We all need our break from this lifestyle”.

Zoya rolled her eyes, “your brother will likely be killed by one of his mistresses before he ever becomes King”. She smirked as Nikolai laughed lightly. “Yet, I’m glad to hear that. After all, seems she knows of your method for dealing with such a needed break,” Zoya winked.

Nikolai ran a hand down his face and groaned. “Reminds me, I need to figure out how she knows of that,” He sighed. Nikolai shook his head, “Nonetheless, I should head to my chambers for the evening. Last thing I need is y/n coming out and worsening my headache”.

Zoya closed her eyes and sighed in irritation. Yet, she waved him dismissively. “Go on then sobachka,” Zoya laughed at Nikolai glancing around before flipping her off.

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King Of My Heart : Nikolai Lantsov x Reader Series

Part 5

For warnings, descriptions, and previous parts, see series masterlist here.

Recap: Y/n nodded downwards politically at Nikolai before she turned away from him again. She’d intended on making her way back to the palace and rejoining the obscene party they were hosting before calling it a night as soon as it would be reasonably permitted. But, she felt the Prince take hold of her wrist to keep her from moving away from him.

Y/n really just couldn’t catch a break this week, could she? At this point, she doubted she’d make it to Sunday before losing her mind. Why did Nikolai have to be everywhere? Sure, it was his castle but, Saints! Couldn’t he go enjoy another part of it, somewhere she wasn’t at?!

“Why can't we just let whatever this pointless rivalry is go?" Nikolai asked. Truthfully, he’d grown tired of always having to be on guard and try to think of snappy insults whenever the Princess was around. His hatred of y/n consumed him so much so that he often thought of her even outside of summer. Nikolai constantly found himself thinking of the Princess and possible new insults or remarks he could make the next time he saw her. As much as he hated her, Nikolai frequently looked forward to seeing y/n. So he could utilize the new comebacks he’d created during the fall and winter months, of course.

Yet, Nikolai was tired of y/n taking up so much space in his mind. Besides, they now were set to spend the rest of their lives betrothed to one another. Nikolai knew the hateful passion he felt towards y/n would never diminish enough to allow them to be friends much less anything more than aromantically married. He suspected y/n felt the same way. But, couldn’t they at least both realize they were on the same team now? That they now shared the same goal? And as such, at least be civil to each other so they didn’t keep driving each other mad?

Nikolai was pulled from his thoughts as Y/n shook her head and mumbled, “just leave me be”. He sighed and shook his head as well. “No”.

Y/n groaned but let out a huff of relief when Nikolai started to remove his long slender fingers from where her gown’s sleeve ended just below her palm. She froze in shock as she felt a weird warm tingling sensation shoot through her body as the Prince’s fingertips grazed her bare skin during their departure from her wrist. Y/n tightened her jaw as she mentally questioned herself over the reaction. She stared at Nikolai with a look that she hoped showed her annoyance and desire to be left alone. “Niko-“ she began.

“You’re stubborn,” Nikolai acknowledged. He smirked as he continued, “but, so am I”. As y/n glared at him, Nikolai chuckled teasingly. “Why do think this fight has lasted so long?” He pointed out smugly. “And all because of… what?” Nikolai asked as he shook his head dismissively.

“You know what,” y/n snarled. Her brows were slanted inward as her eyes shot imaginary daggers at Nikolai.

Nikolai puffed his chest and rested his hands on his hips. “Do humor me, oh wise one,” he taunted. He felt slightly guilty for his snappy remark, especially when he was trying to get them to be cordial with each other. But, Nikolai couldn’t help himself as he was becoming offended by y/n’s ongoing refusal to treat him with even a shred of civility. Especially after he saw she was clearly capable of if; not just to her friends, but strangers, and Saint’s sake, even to wild animals!

“The summer,” was all y/n offered as an answer to Nikolai’s question. She was intentionally answering vaguely as she didn’t care to get into all of this again. Y/n knew Nikolai remembered what he’d done years ago and was only trying to act as if he didn’t. As if he was innocent in all of this, when in reality her hatred was the result of his actions back then.

Nikolai chuckled sarcastically at the Princess’s indirect response. “Well, clearly,” he replied, waving his hand aloofly, “after all, when else would I have had the chance to upset you?” After his rhetorical question was met with deserved silence, he tried again. “Care to actually answer the question in a complete sentence this time?” Nikolai asked y/n.

Y/n breathed out through her nose as she maintained her composure. She responded with one, sharply spoken word, “think”. Y/n rolled her eyes as Nikolai’s face shifted from smug to irritated when she didn’t just remind him of the incident herself.

“You know when it started,” y/n argued as she watched Nikolai purse his lips. “Therefore, you know why,” she added. As y/n watched the Prince, she noticed the confusion he tried to hide with his outward display of annoyance. Perhaps Nikolai didn’t remember. It should’ve made y/n feel guilty for having treated someone so poorly for years when that person didn’t even know what they’d done to deserve it. However, in this situation, the possibility Nikolai didn’t remember what he’d done only made her more upset. The day that it happened was a day that had stuck with her ever since; the precise moment burned in y/n’s mind and scaldingly branding her heart with every detail, leaving her with a constant ache ever since. Yet, the Prince dared to either pretend he didn’t do anything wrong, or truly hadn’t even thought twice about the way he’d treated her that day?

While y/n was thinking through the situation, she watched as a look of what seemed to be realization and hesitation took over Nikolai’s face.

“Wait,” the Prince spoke breathily, “this is…”. Nikolai’s disbelief shifted to frustration and disappointment. “This is because I bumped into you and made your dress dirty when you were…” he paused, trying to recall their exact ages that summer, “six?” He mentally scolded himself for believing for a second that y/n wasn’t the shallow Princess he’d led himself to believe she was over the years since that night.

Y/n glared at Nikolai. “Eight,” she corrected pointedly. “And, that’s not what-“ y/n began, ready to defend herself. She was furious that Nikolai simplified the incident in order to make y/n sound like a spoiled brat who only cared about her dress and therefore now hated the Prince when he’d done nothing more than “innocently bumping” into her years ago. Which was not the case.

“Yes it is,” Nikolai declared confidently despite his disbelief in not having realized this earlier. “That’s when you started acting differently towards me,” he pointed out. Nikolai could still vividly recall the way y/n had suddenly gone from being friendly to him- the way she was with the other kids, even Vassily (who was always an ass if you asked Nikolai)- to treating him with disdain. He hadn’t realized it before now that her change in attitude towards him lined up perfectly with when that incident happened. But, now it was clear.

“You didn’t make it dirty,” y/n defended herself, saying the line in the same condescending and judgmental way Nikolai had. “You shoved me into the mud,” she choked, the unexpected action from him still too ingrained in her memory. “And, you ruined my first ever-“ y/n stopped herself. She didn’t want to talk about this. Not with him. “You know what,” she shook her head, “doesn’t matter”.

Y/n refused to let Nikolai in. She refused to let him see how just much he’d hurt her. She refused to let Nikolai enjoy the power his actions had over her back when there were kids. Him learning any of that would only give him more ammunition to use against her.

“That wasn’t your first dress, Princess,” Nikolai chided. He rolled his eyes in disbelief. Nikolai felt justified now that he learned the cause behind their decades long rivalry and hatred was something so vain in y/n’s behalf; he no longer needed to feel bad for having ignored any of her ‘positive traits’ when this was seemingly all it took to make her switch from a sweet Princess to a spoiled diva. This whole rivalry had gone on for over 10 years all over a single dress he accidentally dirtied when she, as a Princess undoubtedly had plenty of others.

Y/n took in a deep breath but refused to look at Nikolai. “Never said it was,” she pointed out, her voice mumbled. She really didn’t want to keep talking about this. All of the emotions and details of the incident were starting to drown her.

“You were saying-“ the Prince argued, planning to reiterate how egotistical y/n is and had been.

“I don’t need you to tell me what I was saying, moi tsarevich,” y/n sassed. She huffed loudly as she straightened her back, elongating her posture. “I was saying…,” y/n reiterated, “it was my first ballet costume, Nikolai”. She didn’t look his way as she hissed his name.

“What?” Nikolai asked, unable to think of anything else. He didn’t understand the point of her correction nor why she would’ve been wearing a ballet costume that day. But, he could sense the profound sadness and nostalgia in y/N’s voice.

Y/n wordlessly shook her head. She glimpsed over at Nikolai for a brief second before quickly averting her gaze. Y/n still didn’t speak as she studied the now-ivy covered pearl-gray rounded rectangular stone hip-height wall from a distance. The same wall that had been behind her over 10 years ago when Nikolai had pushed her backwards into a pool of cold murky sludge. Y/n would’ve preferred not to be having this conversation at all, much less with Nikolai of all people. She certainly didn’t want to explain herself any further, not wanting to risk Nikolai knowing too much about her personal life. But, when she caught a glimpse of Nikolai stepping closer to her in an almost sympathetic way, she relented. “I’d been begging my parents for years to let me take ballet lessons,” she began, pausing until she knew if he was actually listening.

Y/n saw that while Nikolai hadn’t responded, he was clearly staying attentive. So she continued with her explanation. “They finally agreed as long as I took care of my equipment,” y/n sighed. As the weight of her emotions that day came flooding back, she stared at her feet. “I was…” y/n attempted, her voice trailing off.

Y/n didn’t have to look up at know Nikolai was watching her intently. She could practically feel his eyes on her as if they were trying to absorb every detail possible. The same way she could tell that his breath was shallow and he was on edge.

“I was so excited to wear that costume that summer to greet everyone,” y/n began again, a infinitesimal smile on her lips at the recollection. “I made sure to do whatever I had to do to not ruin the costume,” she recounted. “I skipped the painting class, the juice boxes, and even opted for the disgusting salad over the spaghetti for lunch”. Y/n silently shook her head. “Then… you just came barging over like the arrogant Prince you were and knocked me into the mud,” her voice wavered uncooperatively, “staining it and the sticks in it tearing the costume.”

Y/n sighed loudly as she clenched her jaw to keep her emotions at bay. “I was blamed for it, because ‘Perfect little Nikolai' wouldn’t ever do that to a Princess’,” she quoted. “They didn’t trust me enough to let me continue lessons or to ever get another ballet costume gown again”. Y/n braved a look Nikolai’s way, “and, you...”. She cut herself off with a huff in disbelief. She held a sad look in her eyes as she quickly looked away from him.

“You never even apologized,” Y/n’s voice betrayed her; cracking from her pent-up emotion. “You just stared at me as I sat in the puddle,” she shook her head as she bit into her bottom lip, the memory still too fresh. “And… y-you,” she scoffed exasperatedly, “laughed, and just ran away”.

Nikolai’s brows were furrowed so intensely that a tension headache was already forming. His chest felt as if it was pinned inside a tightened vise. The Prince’s guilt and shock left his feet cemented to the ground and arms stitched to his sides. “Y/n, I-“ Nikolai’s voice was strained from the sheer force it took him to speak past the self-condemnation and shame imprisoning his brain and tongue.

“Save it,” y/n fulminated. She confronted Nikolai with a razor-edged scowl. “I don’t want to hear some nonsense proclamation about how that is not what happened,” she warned. “We might not have known each other very well back then, but I’d never have treated you the way you treated me for no reason”. Y/n tsked audibly as her eyes broke away from Nikolai’s seemingly emotionless face.

“And, as if that wasn’t enough,” y/n continued; her demeanor making it clear she thought it was in fact enough on its own. “But, then, you had the audacity to disparage me as if I started it,” she pontificated. “So don’t try to smooth talk your way out of this,” y/n advised, “I know better than to fall for your spurious charisma, your highness”.

Nikolai felt the vise on his chest tighten throughout y/n’s statements. The remorse-fueled vise continued its hellacious assault on him until he felt as if all the oxygen left his body and his lungs imploded. He mandated himself to take an emphysematous breath. “N-no,” Nikolai spoke in a strained manner. “It… No, that’s not what I… just… let me explain,” he blathered. “Please,” the Prince added beseechingly.

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King Of My Heart : Nikolai Lantsov x Reader Series

Part 7

For warnings, descriptions, and previous parts, see series masterlist here.

Nikolai huffed loudly as he ran his hands through his disheveled hair for what was probably the thousandth time in a row. The Prince had been brooding in his bedroom chambers for nearly an hour at this point. Ever since dragging himself away from the makeshift dance studio, his mind had been an overwhelming tornado of thoughts and emotions. There was no way he liked y/n. Not like that. Not now. Not anymore at least. Right?! He surely got past those feelings years ago. Didn’t he? Even if he hadn’t, it wouldn’t matter. She hated him. Sure, it was a misunderstanding over a mistake he’d made that she thought was intentional. But still, she despised him and that likely wasn’t going to charge anytime soon. Right?

Nikolai groaned as he rubbed his tight neck. He resumed his pointless pacing, his feet pitter pattering against the hardwood floor. Surely this wasn’t happening. Yes, the Princess y/n was undoubtedly beautiful. But, Nikolai had been with his fair share of beautiful women. Why was he so seemingly hung up on her? Why y/n? Perhaps he hadn’t gotten over the feelings he had as a child. Maybe he’d simply pushed them aside and convinced himself he’d moved on when she began treating him poorly. Is that what was causing him to feel so excessively feverish tonight?

Nikolai fumbled with his suit, his hands shaking as he tried to rid himself of the material. He needed to get out of these clothes. It was far too hot in his room tonight. He aggressively tossed his discarded clothing toward his attached closet. His trembling hands then pulled open the window enough to let some fresh air in. Nikolai let out a small sigh of relief as the cool air hit his flushed skin. It was far too hot tonight.

Nikolai dragged his hand down his face as he walked away from the window. This had to stop. He didn’t like y/n. Not in that way. Not anymore. He couldn’t. They were betrothed and arranged to be married for the sake of Ravka. Nikolai wasn’t able to marry for love. Not that whatever he felt for her was love. But, if his family or their kingdom suspected he’d agreed to marry the Princess y/n for love instead of duty, would they call off the wedding? Did he want them to? Y/n clearly did. But did he? A weird uncomfortable feeling bubbled up in Nikolai’s stomach at the question. He swallowed thickly and tried to brush it aside. But, it was futile. Nikolai had gotten one answer figured out tonight. It wasn’t an answer he understood nor wanted to find. But, at least one of the million questions in his mind had an answer. No, he didn’t want the wedding to be called off. But, was that because it was best for Ravka? Or was it something else? Maybe both? That question seemed a lot more challenging to answer. But, it didn’t matter. Because Nikolai didn’t have feelings for y/n. Sure, he felt bad for the misunderstanding between them. And sure, he craved more than anything to make it right. But, that didn’t mean anything other than needing to fulfill his duty. …right?

Nikolai looked at his reflection in his dresser mirror and sighed dramatically. His appearance would likely have prompted his mother to call for a heartrender within seconds should she see him tonight. His face was flushed despite the cold breeze floating in from the cracked window. His hands were fisted in frustration at his sides but trembled faintly. His hair was a mess of curls from pulling at it and running his hands through it repeatedly. His eyes were widened and distant. He was a mess. Y/n had made him a mess. No matter what Nikolai told himself, it had happened yet again. Y/n was his undoing. Even after all this time.

Nikolai's uncontrollable smile forced its way past the teeth he had sunk into his bottom lip. She was so radiant. Her laughter? Infectious. And, her spirit? Kind and fun beyond measure. He couldn't believe her family would only be here for the summer. Nikolai would've preferred Y/n to be around all the time. It was much better with her here.

Nikolai didn't seem to get into as much trouble now that the Princess and her family were in town. He knew his mother assumed it had to do with him having more free time from his studies. And, maybe to some extent that was true. But, Nikolai knew it was more likely due to the way his heart sped up whenever y/n was around. He didn't need to get into trouble or chase adventure to find excitement and adrenaline. Y/n's presence was like a large cup of strong coffee. Only better as Nikolai hated the taste of coffee. His mother had only let him have it a few times given his rambunctious tendencies without the added risk of caffeine. Yet, he quickly realized it was far too bitter for his taste. Y/n on the other hand, was refreshing. She seemed to always have a smile on her face and her y/c/h was frequently floating freely around her as she spun through the gardens. Ever since he met her a week ago, Nikolai found himself searching for her wherever he went. It was a nice change of pace from searching for his older brother Vasily in order to avoid him and his taunts.

"Hi again," y/n greeted with a soft smile as she stood before Nikolai.

Nikolai sucked in a deep breath through his nose as he grinned back at y/n. "Hi Princess y/l/n," he replied formally. He nervously extended his hand towards her in greeting. His eyes widened slightly as her soft hand landed gently in his hand. How was her hand so soft and smooth?

"You know, you can call me y/n," the Princess giggled.

Nikolai nodded repeatedly. "Okay," he muttered shyly.

"I saw you weren't busy.. and wanted to ask if you wouldn't mind joining me and, umm, Nina, I think that's her name," y/n laughed softly. "Sorry, I am still learning everyone's names..." she admitted. "Oh! Please don't tell my mother I just confessed that... she'd be upset that I ruined the image of our family..." y/n rambled, looking away.

Nikolai frowned at y/n's distraught behavior. "I won't," he quickly reassured her. "And, if you were referring to the girl beside your mother," he said, looking toward where Queen Y/L/N was watching from afar. "You were right," he grinned encouragingly, "that is Nina, Nina Zenik".

Y/n's eyes lifted from the ground back up to Nikolai. A wide smile took over her face as a faint blush crept onto her cheeks. "Thank you, Your Highness," she replied courteously with a subtle nod.

Nikolai felt his cheeks warm immensely as she smiled at him. A fortunately silent exhalation of air left his slightly parted lips as he tried to compose himself. "It..It's Nikolai," he replied, offering the Princess a smile he hoped wasn't too big.

Y/n nodded, the smile still on her face as she stared at Nikolai patiently. "Do you?" she chuckled lightly, "do you want to join Nina and me? My mother said if I found someone to show me around, I could go see the water gardens. Nina said you would know the safest and quickest route.."

Although Nikolai had seen the palace's water gardens far too many times to be interested in seeing it again, he nodded quickly. He blushed as y/n smiled in response and turned from him signaling for him to follow her.

Nikolai was passing by the largest of the fountains as Nina held Y/n's hand and spun her around in circles. He bit the inside of his lip as he watched them silently. The girls were a few feet in front of him, y/n constantly gazing excitedly at the statues in the fountains they passed while Nina playfully laughed at her easy nature. By now, they had ventured through most of the water gardens, and Nikolai was sad it was almost over. Nonetheless, he trailed after the girls dutifully. He blushed as y/n glanced back over her shoulder at him with a smile.

"Are you having fun, Nikolai?" y/n asked sweetly as she and Nina stopped walking.

The crimson staining Nikolai's cheeks darkened as y/n spoke to him. She remembered his name? Yes, he had just mentioned it moments before, but still. Y/n said she wasn't good with names, but she still recalled his name so far! Nikolai nodded, "Yes. of course, Princess, thank you".

"Please, if it's okay, I'd prefer you call me Y/n," y/n corrected.

"Right!" Nikolai exclaimed remorsefully. "My sincerest apologies, y/n," he replied. He nervously shoved his hands in the pockets of the suit his mother forced him into this morning.

Y/n turned and set a hand on Nikolai's shoulder. "It's fine!" she promised with a smile. "You coming?"

Nikolai nodded lightly and began walking again as y/n and Nina resumed their stroll. He laughed as Nina ran ahead and tugged y/n's hand. He watched as y/n followed suit and sped up.

"Nikolai, come on!" y/n's cheerful voice called out as she tried to keep up with Nina's burst of energy.

Nikolai found his stomach fluttering as a smile formed on his lips again. He shook his head to himself before jogging. Nikolai's eyes were narrowed in on y/n's grin as he rushed towards the girls. As such, he hadn't paid attention to the way he cut the corner beside the marble bench too short until it was too late. The toe of his boot caught on the edge of the bench and abruptly pulled his body backwards. Nikolai landed face-first on the gravel, his knee scrapping the ground and causing a tear in his dress pants.

Y/n must've heard Nikolai's trip as she spun around with a look of concern on her face. She ran over, Nina beside her. She knelt next to the Prince and frowned. "Are you okay?" she asked quietly as she eyed his knee.

Nikolai was mortified. He had been through the water gardens millions of times and today was the day he tripped?! His eyes met y/n's and he looked away in embarrassment. He nodded, "I wasn't paying attention. But, I am okay". He accepted y/n's extended hand and stood up.

"Okay, good," y/n whispered.

"Umm... guys...." Nina mumbled. As the young Prince and Princess faced her, she pointed towards the group of adults watching and snickering from where the Queen of Ravka was hosting tea.

Nikolai knew he'd never hear the end of this from his mother. And, surely the gossip would spread to Vasily as well. Meaning, insults and taunts were soon headed his way. He'd made a fool of himself. Yet, as y/n scoffed at the spectators and squeezed Nikolai's hand, he didn't care.

"Ignore them, most of them are stuck up and boring anyway," y/n mumbled with a shrug and sympathetic smile. When a smile formed on Nikolai's face, she let go of his hand, pleased he wasn't upset anymore. "Thank you for showing us around, it was fun," she grinned.

Nikolai nodded, quickly realizing even though the outcome was going to prompt unpleasurable family time, he didn't regret agreeing to join y/n and Nina. He was pleased she had fun. Even though he'd made a mess of himself in the process, he cherished having been able to spend time with the Princess. He hoped to be able to do it again, even if it came with consequences for him.

Nikolai wiped his clammy hands on his trousers to dry them. He couldn’t contain his nerves. He was both excited and terrified. It had taken him since the incident in the water gardens last summer to get up the courage to try and speak to her again. He’d only made small talk with her since the time she and her family arrived this year, having come a few weeks early as they were closer to his parents than the other families were. Yet, less than two weeks later, here he was planning on bringing her flowers and asking her to join him for a picnic. It was the day everyone else was to arrive at his parent’s castle. As such, he hoped if things went sideways there would be enough distractions for the both of them.

Nikolai grabbed the thin bouquet of flowers he’d snuck out to pick by hand from his mother’s gardens that morning. He knew he was likely bound to be in trouble if his actions were found out, but what’s new? He was usually always getting into trouble it seemed. Nikolai shook his head as he tried to clear his mind so he could focus on his mission. Making it across the palace’s field to reach y/n. He could barely even see her from how far apart they were currently, but his heart was already beating fast.

Nikolai rehearsed what he was going to say in a hushed voice as he made his way onto the field. Just as he finished covering a third of the grounds, he felt someone grab his shoulder. Nikolai spun around with wide eyes, confused as to who stopped him. Looking up, he met eyes with his older brother Vasily. He swallowed thickly, uncertain what was going to happen. Despite the way he was treated by him, Nikolai still found himself looking up to his older brother; after all, he was the one destined to lead their country one day.

Vasily eyed the collection of flowers in Nikolai’s trembling hand and smirked wickedly. “Little Nikolai Nothing has a crush, now doesn’t he?” He taunted with a grin. “Who is it? Who’s the poor girl?” Vasily continued his mocking, scanning the field of children in an attempt to see who his brother was seeking.

Nikolai swallowed thickly and said nothing. He moved his hands behind his back, hiding the flowers behind his small body as if that would somehow stop the bullying from his brother. Only, he realized his mistake moments after it was too late.

Vasily ripped the bouquet from Nikolai’s grasp. He examined the flowers as he began to pluck the petals off then slowly. He noticed the way his brother’s eyes watered and fists balled up at his side. Vasily laughed and tossed the remainder of the bouquet on the ground and twisted them under the heel of his dress shoe. “I told you before, forget it sobachka, it’ll never happen,” he scolded, mockingly patting Nikolai’s shoulder before walking off with a smug grin.

Through teary eyes, Nikolai stared down at the crushed pile of flowers resting on the cobblestone tiles. He frowned and bent down to pick them up. Hopefully he could still salvage them. Upon inspection, the flowers were far too damaged. Y/n deserved better than this pathetic mess of smushed flowers in Nikolai’s hand. He sighed as he looked across the remainder of the field to where y/n was standing with what looked like Genya. Looking back down at the flowers, he groaned and angrily tossed down the flowers in his hands. He’d have to try this another day.

Although, Nikolai worried he’d not find the courage to approach y/n so boldly another day. Plus, he’d already charmed the kitchen staff into making a small picnic basket for him in case the Princess said yes. He hadn’t told them what it was for and suspected they’d get suspicious if he asked for same the favor again so soon. Vasily had already ruined part of Nikolai’s plans, he didn’t want to give him any more fuel. It would have to be today. He could do this. Sure, he wasn’t the crown prince. But, y/n was one of the sweetest people he’d ever met. Surely she wouldn’t care about that. Right? Right, she was far too kind and humble for that to influence her answer.

Nikolai let y/n’s charismatic personality reassure him that no matter what her answer was, things would be fine; she’d be gentle about it. Finding that his hands had started to become clammy again, he once again dried them on his pants. He then took a deep breath and resumed his approach.

Saints! She was alluring. Nikolai’s breath hitched as y/n properly came into view. Her hair was wrapped in an exquisite bun at the top of her head. Her skin was radiant as always, the sunlight shining magnificently on her high cheekbones. She was wearing an emerald green dress, that had puffy tule at the bottom. Even though Nikolai knew the color had nothing to do with him, he couldn’t help the butterflies that stirred in his stomach over the fact y/n was wearing his family’s signature color. She was so effortlessly beautiful.

Nikolai’s legs felt like they were glued to the damp grass under his feet. It took true effort to lift each leg up enough to step closer to his crush. He looked over his shoulder to be sure his older brother wasn’t watching his embarrassingly inelegant gait. He felt his left foot slip slightly, prompting him to turn around. Nikolai’s eyes widened as he felt himself lose his balance. Before he could stop it, he found himself skidding through the slick mud that was formed by yesterday’s summer showers. There wasn’t anything nearby to grab onto to stop his hasty sliding.

Nikolai’s panic left him breathless as he realized he was headed right for Princess y/n. Unable to warn her of his impending crash, he wordlessly toppled into her. He stuck his arms out to try and keep her from falling into the puddle under them. Only, his frantic movements and the fact he was still sliding only made the situation worse, his hands hitting her torso and sending her flailing backward. Nikolai desperately dug the toes of his boots into the mud. It was enough to keep him standing, although he had to use the stone wall behind them to not topple over from the sudden halt.

Nikolai’s whole world froze. There was no way this happened. He just knocked his crush into the mud. His mind screamed at him to help her up. But, the tears forming in her eyes made him feel immensely guilty. He tried to speak to apologize profusely, but his nerves and guilt made it so the only sound that came out was a squeaky huff. He was only making this so much worse. He had to get out of there. This was a disaster. He saw Vasily watching from afar with a smirk on his face. He could practically hear the “Nikolai Nothing” chant from here as Vasily mouthed something. His eyes widened as he quickly turned from the scene and sprinted back to the safety of his chambers.

Nikolai sighed loudly. Those same chambers were where he found himself tonight. Only, he wasn’t finding comfort in them. Not that he really did that night, years ago, either. Poor eleven-year-old Nikolai had not gotten much sleep that night. And now, as Nikolai thought of what happened that afternoon between him and y/n, he wished he could undo all of it. He was the reason why there was such a rivalry and hatred between them over the last several years. More importantly, he was the reason eight-year-old y/n had cried. He was the reason she didn’t get to continue her ballet lessons. The reason she didn’t get to wear nor own another ballet outfit.

Nikolai flopped himself down onto his mattress. But, he knew sleep wouldn’t find him tonight. Instead, he stared at the gold-embossed ceiling as he contemplated the thoughts running through his mind this evening. Try as he might, and he certainly had tried, he couldn’t ignore the way he felt about y/n. He wished he could’ve brushed it off as simply lingering feelings from years ago. But, he knew better. That had been a naïve childhood crush. Nikolai knew y/n far better now. His ‘hatred’ had driven him to learn more about her, for ammunition of course. Only, if he really thought about it, everything he learned only made him feel more strongly driven to her. He admired the way she’d always focused on her schooling, even taking time to learn important historical and cultural lessons during the summer seasons. He cherished the way she let herself relax and become soft when she was alone and dancing. He appreciated the way she was so kind to everyone, servants included.

Nikolai was scared. Well, terrified would be more accurate. What did these revelations mean? What was he to do moving forward? A thousand new questions formed in his mind. But, the one thing he no longer questioned was his feelings towards the Princess. And that was unnerving beyond measure.

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[jahayla-parker]

So glad you liked it 🥰

King Of My Heart : Nikolai Lantsov x Reader Series

Part 4

For warnings, descriptions, and previous parts, see series masterlist here.

Recap : Soon, the way Y/n was being so careful with the flower brought a once long-forgotten memory to the forefront of Nikolai’s mind.

Nikolai raced around the edge of the building, ready to throw his latest insult at y/n upon being told to greet her. Yet, he found himself skidding to a haste halt when he saw her.

Y/n was dressed in a very simple gown, but it still looked radiant on her; she still looked like the Princess she was. She was kneeling down, holding hands with what appeared to be a rather sickly young child. Despite the child’s likely contagious condition, y/n smiled as she held the girl’s tiny hands.

Nikolai didn’t know what Y/n said to the random girl who appeared to be from the nearest town. But, whatever it was, made the sick girl smile even wider as she blushed. This only grew Nikolai’s intrigue. He’d never seen y/n interact with Ravkan citizens before. He’d never thought of what it might look like, but he knew if he had, he’d never have imagined something this… pure and astonishing.

Nikolai knew Y/n was not doing it for attention. There were hardly any other people nearby and the Princess had no reason to even acknowledge Ravkan Grisha at the Little Palace, much less random Ravkans; and a child no less. He also knew she had expected to venture to the palace alone, not knowing that he’d been forced to come ensure her safe passage. Yet, she acted as if this behavior was the most natural occurrence.

Not to mention, the sunlight was cascading flawlessly over y/n’s skin. Her hair neatly done and shining, despite the likely dirty and windy journey aboard her family’s boat. Nikolai wanted to scream when he found himself staring admiringly at her radiant smile, the plumpness of her lips, her immaculately white teeth, and the way the curl of her lips made her eyes sparkle.

That night Nikolai had to argue with himself about his hatred. He had to remind himself that it didn’t matter how pretty she looked. He hated her. Even though he couldn’t place them at the moment, he knew he had to have had his reasons for hating her for so long. As such, he swore to himself that he’d never let anyone know his thoughts that day, not even himself. He forced himself to see the downside to everything he’d seen.

He told himself that y/n must have used a servant tailor to appear that beautiful; even though he’d not seen one arrive with her or even heard of her family hiring Grisha. But, surely that was to hide the reason behind her flawless appearance. He told himself she was only behaving that way because she wanted leverage over them/him should he or someone else come down to greet her, perhaps her father even told her that the King of Ravka would be sending Nikolai to greet her. And she likely told the girl to smile to uphold the ruse. However insane the theories were, he let himself believe them to be true; after all, he’d met plenty of royalty who’d be willing to do all of that and more. And he knew enough to hate Y/n for as long as he had by then, so clearly she was capable of such things as well.

Nikolai shook his head as the flashback ended. He blinked rapidly as he tried to refocus on his current surroundings. In doing so, he noticed that y/n had seemingly found a tiny bunny in his mother’s garden. Nikolai wordlessly tilted his head slightly as he watched y/n interact cautiously with the small creature.

Y/n stared down at the fuzzy brown bunny rabbit she’d found as it sat in the valley formed by her joined palms. She’d been examining the flower bed when a beam of moonlight reflected off something shiny at the base of the flowers’ stems. When y/n had crouched down to get a better look, the sight before her broke her heart.

The moonlight had pointed y/n to a wild baby bunny that had evidently been ensnared by one of the Queen’s rodent traps. Its tail was the only thing keeping it stuck in the trap, but it was saddening nonetheless.

Y/n had quickly freed the wild bunny, cautiously lifting the bar from its tail. She watched as the now-free bunny slowly moved away from the trap before bolting in a half-sprint half-hopping fashion. Just as a smile was about to form on y/n’s face, she noticed there was a second bunny a few feet away from the trap.

The second bunny was a light brown color with a small patch of white fur on its left hip. It seemed to be unable, or at least unwilling, to move from the area, even as its fearful eyes watched the Princess closely.

Y/n didn’t hesitate to try and help the poor bunny. She was however, slow in her movements towards it as she could tell how understandably frightened it was. Y/n frowned as the bunny attempted to flee, only to limp when doing so. She took her time moving her hands closer until she could delicately scoop up the second injured bunny.

Y/n was now standing in the Queen of Ravka’s flower gardens with an injured wild animal in her cupped hands. She knew what an odd sight it must be and desperately hoped no one was watching her from afar. The Queen’s gardeners had set these traps for a reason, and y/n knew it was because rodents of any kind, including adorable little bunnies like the two she found tonight, could and likely would cause damage to the foliage. So, she suspected the Queen and her staff would be far less than pleased with y/n for having freed one and intending on tending to another. Yet, y/n knew there was no way she’d be able to force herself to ignore the innocent creatures. They didn’t know better than to munch on the leaves and petals or dig holes in the soil of the Queen’s flower gardens.

So, there y/n was. Standing next to the royal bed of lilies as she stared sorrowfully down at the hurt bunny. Y/n sighed and shook her head judgingly at herself. She knew it was unnecessary and could cause her trouble with her future mother-in-law, but here she was. “I’m sure the Queen won’t be pleased,” y/n murmured to the bunny.

Nikolai unconsciously grinned to himself as he watched the tender scene before him. Was Princess y/n truly talking to a wild rabbit?

“But, maybe Genya or Nina can heal you?” Y/n wondered aloud, giving the bunny a sympathetic curl of her lips. She stroked its fluffy head before she began walking as she carried it to a secluded area of the garden. She wanted to have the bunny rest somewhere where it couldn’t be seen. Y/n wasn’t even sure Genya or Nina could, much less would be willing to, help the creature. But, at least she could try.

Nikolai continued to watch y/n from behind her as she tended to the wild animal. His lips curled up lightly as he saw the Princess ensure the trap in the area was out of the way before setting the bunny down. The gesture was once again so soft and unbelievably caring.

“I’ll have someone come out after the party to examine you,” y/n promised the bunny. Her voice was barely above that of a hushed whisper, not wanting to alert any guards that might be nearby of her presence nor the bunny’s. “Okay little one?” She hummed, smiling tenderly at the animal.

Y/n began wandering back towards the palace in silence. The bunny’s safety still heavy on her mind. Y/n stopped abruptly to gaze at the hidden temporary makeshift sanctuary the bunny would be resting in for the night. She sucked in a deep breath as she took in the reassurance that it was not easily visible unless you already knew it was there.

Nikolai hadn’t been expecting Princess y/n to stop so suddenly. As such, he faltered slightly and his polished dress shoe managed to kick up some loose gravel from the garden’s walkway. He’d been walking diagonally to y/n, so the skidding rocks didn’t hit her. But, the disturbance from his stumbling alerted y/n to his presence nonetheless.

Upon hearing the crunching sound of gravel despite herself having been stationary, y/n turned towards the noise. As her eyes landed on Nikolai, she stared at him as she huffed loudly in exasperation.

Nikolai noticed the way frustration had quickly taken over y/n’s previously relaxed face when she saw him. He nearly winced as she sharply asked “what?”. The Prince shook his head and tried to steel his heart again. “Nothing,” he replied.

Y/n rolled her eyes as she rested her hands on her hips. She raised a questioning eyebrow at Nikolai as she looked him up and down. “You left your party for nothing?” Y/n questioned rhetorically.

“Our party,” Nikolai corrected. His voice was uncharacteristically soft despite still speaking to y/n. He tried to ignore the way speaking to her in such a manner felt better than the sensation he got whenever he’d speak to her the way he usually did, in a harsher tone.

“Right,” y/n hummed. Her tone was dripping with annoyance. He couldn’t just leave her alone and let her enjoy even a few moments could he?

Nikolai furrowed his brows as the corners of his lips hooked downwards. “Can you cut the act for a moment?” He complained.

“What act?” Y/n inquired.

Nikolai’s eyes took in y/n’s appearance for a moment. He was unable to see her as anything other than the well-rounded and caring person he’d both recalled her having been, and learned tonight that she still was. Nikolai didn’t know what to make of his revelations tonight, but he knew he’d been wrong about her. He didn’t recall why he had grown to hate her, or why she seemed to hate him, but he hoped to clear that up tonight. Not only would it make things easier in terms of their arranged marriage, but ever since seeing y/n in the studio the other night, Nikolai had sensed something was different… Almost as if… maybe their hatred didn’t need to be there. That maybe they could at least get along. “That you hate me,” Nikolai explained.

Y/n squinted at Nikolai as she moved her head backwards slightly. “It’s not an act,” she huffed.

“Right,” Nikolai said sarcastically. Despite his sarcastic tone, he was aware he could be wrong. Nikolai at least hoped it was an act. He’d recalled previous examples of y/n’s grace and love, and tonight he’d seen new examples of how gentle she could be. And, to Nikolai, it made it seem like y/n didn’t, couldn’t, hate that easily. So, he felt she must be acting as if she hated him. After all, Nikolai couldn’t recall having done anything to her back when she first began acting hateful towards him.

Y/n rolled her eyes. “Get over yourself, Your Highness,” she scoffed. Y/n shook her head as she faced the castle, away from Nikolai.

“You’re snarkier than normal,” Nikolai commented, mostly to himself. While y/n would undoubtedly take it as one of his typical comebacks, the Prince was merely voicing an observation he’d made this week. The comment was not just about this interaction between the two of them. Instead, Nikolai was referring to how y/n had been acting as of late.

Nikolai wasn’t some idiot with a crush. First of all, he didn’t have feelings for y/n like that. He still felt a deep passion in him when it came to her, the same pain that had been fueling his hatred for the last ten years. Second, he wasn’t confused as to why she was more irritating and snappy than normal. This was the first time Y/n and Nikolai had to spend a full week together. Usually they’d be able to venture off on their own activities and keep their distance during the summer months. Given their responsibilities and the need to uphold a façade of a young couple in love, that wasn’t a choice this time. As such, they’d been forced to remain in each others company for the majority of their time each day this week.

Yet, Nikolai couldn’t help but notice the increased hostility y/n was exuding. Even before when they’d have to spend more time together than normal during the summer, she’d never grown in her intensity of hateful remarks toward Nikolai. While those displays of her hatred had never faltered, it had never increased the way he’d seen it this week.

Nikolai acknowledged that the fact they were to marry might’ve decreased her tolerance towards him. He certainly understood how the increased proximity between them and impending marriage could cause that deep passion -the hatred burning inside both of them- to intensify. He’d felt it himself. But, Nikolai suspected there was more to y/n’s heightened irritability. After all, he recalled how sincere y/n was the first night she was here, when she’d explained she would place the love of her country before her own preferences. So, her refusal to even attempt to push their mutual hatred aside tonight was unusual.

This week, Nikolai had seen y/n hold her ground and play the role of his lovestruck betrothed when necessary. So, he knew it wasn’t only her hatred of him increasing that was causing the elevated petulance he’d seen in her the last few days.

Y/n took a deep breath. “My apologies,” she murmured, trying to remain civil in case anyone was watching. She also didn’t want Nikolai to press. Y/n knew if Nikolai detected her distraught over her lack of time for her to dance, he’d probably make her schedule even busier. She figured he hadn’t known what she was wanting to do in her free time this weekend, but if he caught wind of how much she needed that time, he’d see to that she had something else to do.

Y/n nodded downwards politically at Nikolai before she turned away from him again. She’d intended on making her way back to the palace and rejoining the obscene party they were hosting before calling it a night as soon as it would be reasonably permitted. But, she felt the Prince take hold of her wrist to keep her from moving away from him.

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