#kohga has commitment issues

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas]

Wait, marriage angst?? What is your idea?? TELL US!!??

I’ll do you one better. I’ll WRITE it for you!

Kohga was bored. Really, really bored. His men were doing his bidding, as per usual, and for some reason, Kohga wasn’t tired enough for a nap. That left him with only so much to do. He was stuck in his own bed, when he sat up, realizing he knew what he could do. He could sneak into Sooga’s room, and make himself into a sexy little surprise for him. He was coming soon from fishing with Sidon anyway (Sooga and Sidon grew to be quite the good set of friends). He got out of his room, and snuck into Sooga’s, giddy as all hell for what he had planned.

“Alright, where does he keep the lube...god it’s like his room is in alphabetical order.”

Neat as hell, Sooga’s room. He dug into his drawers, and finally found the bottle he was looking for. He was about to get into his bed, when he accidentally dropped one of Sooga’s uniforms. He grumbled a bit before leaning down to pick it up, just in time to see a small, black box pop out. Sooga picked it up, looking it over in his hands. Huh. Well, Sooga’s stuff was HIS stuff, might as well take a peak. He wished he hadn’t.

It was a ring. The most beautiful, most stunning ring he’d ever seen in his entire life. Decorated in every type of gem under the sun, this could NOT have been cheap. He chuckled, finding it cute. Only, it clicked a second later. 

Sooga was going to ask to marry him. Oh no. Oh no. No no no no no, a MILLION times no. He stammered, and with shaky hands, fixed everything up, making it look like he was never even there. He darted out of the room, totally ignoring everyone who tried to acknowledge him. He had to do something. Anything.

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“Move.”

Sooga had come back from his fishing trip with Sidon, and had a gift for Kohga, right from Mipha herself. The blade master that was in charge of Kohga’s door, stayed put, shaking his head.

“Master Kohga said no one is allowed in. He’s talking with his bodyguard.”

Sooga cocked his head to the side, confused. HE was Kohga’s bodyguard, as well as his lover. That couldn’t be right.

“I’M his bodyguard, in case you’ve forgotten. Now, move.”

The blade master didn’t, shaking his head.

“Sorry Sooga. Looks like you’ve been replaced.”

That voice wasn’t taunting as usual. It was...cold, to the point. He meant what he said. He was about to press for more details, when a blade master walked out of the room, with Kohga following just behind him. A Blade Master...had been in his master’s room. This was serious. Kohga did NOT look happy to see him. If anything, he looked uncomfortable. Sooga knelt down a bit to his level, still holding the package in his hands.

“Master Kohga! Are you feeling well?”

Kohga wouldn’t look at him. He spoke, but towards the air, not towards him.

“I’m fine. Look, Sooga, you need a break. Why don’t you just. Go?”

“Go?...like, I’m being kicked out?”

Kohga finally looked up at him, in panic.

“No! No, not at all. I just...don’t want you around for a bit. Go fish or hunt or whatever you do. Just, go. Cil’s gonna take care of me for a while.”

The Blade master in front of him nodded, taking the package off of Sooga’s hands.

“Don’t worry. I will take great care of Master Kohga in your place, Sooga.”

Sooga stammered, before looking back at Kohga.

“M-master Kohga, please, I-”

Kohga pointed to the other direction, a snarl in his voice.

“I. Said. Go. Leave. That is a COMMAND.”

There was an awkward silence, before Kohga grumbled angrily.

“Cil, make sure he leaves. I’m...gonna take a nap.”

Kohga walked into his room, slamming the door. Cil looked down at him, and motioned towards to base’s entrance.

“Come on, you heard him. Out you go.”

Sooga slowly stood up, looking at his shaky palms.

“What...did I do?...”

Cil chuckled, shaking his head.

“Don’t know, don’t care. All I know is, you blew it, and now I’M in his good graces. Who knows if he’ll even remember you after he gets to know me.”

Sooga put his hands on his blade, when the other blade master put his hand on his chest.

“You know how this works. Kohga makes the orders, you obey. Until he says otherwise, you are NOT to be here. Please leave with dignity, Sooga.”

Sooga halted a moment, before turning around, and leaving. He understood not what was happening. What he DID know was that a command from Kohga WAS a command, even if it hurt him, deep inside his heart.

-----------------------------------------

“This was SUCH a nice idea Link!”

Mipha lightly clapped her hands together. Link had suggested that Mipha, Impa, Zelda, and himself go camping. Mipha wasn’t a real outdoorsy type like her boyfriend, but so long as she was with him, she was having a grand ol time. Impa nodded, getting a blanket for the princess (as to not scuff her pretty clothes).

“I gotta agree. Though, I could go with some food that isn’t JUST apples.”

Link took the hint, and just so happened to spot a deer in the distance. He forced everyone into silence, and was about to fire with his bow and arrow, when suddenly the deer went down. Link cocked his head to the side, only to see the assailant was none other than Sooga. He hoisted the deer over his shoulder, only to catch Link’s gaze.

“Link?”

Mipha looked past the brush, and waved at Sooga.

“Sooga! It’s a pleasure! Out on a date with Kohga?”

Sooga shook his head, walking towards their little camp.

“Afraid not. I’m by myself today. Would you all like to share this?”

Upon everyone seeming satisfied with that idea, and Sooga had no issues skinning and hacking away at the animal, even going so far as to put the meat right over the fire. Mipha, ever the mindful one, seemed to catch that Sooga was...distracted. 

"Sooga? Where...IS Kogha?"

"At the clan. He...told me to go hunting for some reason. Nothing to worry about."

"What makes you think I'm worried?"

"I can see it all over your face."

Sooga wanted to clearly not touch on it, but as soon as Mipha put her hand onto his, he conceded defeat. Big muscles did nothing against a big heart.

"I've...been replaced, it seems. Master Kohga no longer requires my services."

NO ONE was expecting that clearly. Though no one also didn’t expect IMPA to have the reaction she had.

"Kohga? Replaced YOU? That UNGRATEFUL- how DARE he? You're the only one who puts up with him and he REPLACED you? What's the new guys name?"

"Cil."

"Oh that's even a stupid name- princess cover your royal ears, I'm about to NOT be lady like!"

Impa wasn't exactly protective of Sooga, but she did value loyalty, and she knew what it was like to be a devoted servant. She HATED the idea of someone using their servants as mere tools, rather than close companions. Zelda held her hand up, signaling Impa to calm down.

"Sooga, would you care to explain what you mean? This seems VERY unlike you and Kohga. Are you sure this isn't a misunderstanding?"

Sooga nodded solemnly, having lost that hope for quite some time.

“It is not. Master Kohga told me to leave, and a new blade master has taken my stead. I’ve been here ever since.”

Impa, hands on her hips, was more furious than ever, hands on her hips.

“How long have you BEEN out here?”

“Four days, I believe.”

“Four d-oh that is IT! I’m going there to give him a piece of my mind!”

She tried to stomp away, before Sooga grabbed at her hair, making her fall to the dirt. She looked up at him, wiping her face free from the muk.

“What was that-”

“No one is to harm Master Kohga, so long as I can help it.”

“How are you still defending him?!”

Impa got up in his face, and he refused to look away from the cooking meat. He was not scared of ANY sheikah, let alone one so young and foolish.

“Because he is my Master, till the day I die. I love him. That’s all there is to it.”

Mipha butted in, suspecting a fight.

“Why don’t I go talk to him? We’re friends, I’m sure he just needs someone to hear him out. For all we know, this is truly just a mistake.”

Mipha placed her hand on Sooga’s knee, and he felt himself relaxing under her touch. She was truly a very sweet little zora.

“If...it is not a burden, I would appreciate that. Very, very much.”

-----------------------------------------------------

“Mipha! If it isn’t my favorite little fishy! How have you been?”

Mipha graced him with a surprise visit, and with the whole Sooga situation, he welcomed it. She smiled at him, embracing him in a tight embrace.

“I’m quite well, quite well! Did you receive the last gift I sent you?”

“I did! Let me tell you, I’m saving that outfit next time I visit the rito village!”

She chuckled, walking alongside him as they walked to Kohga’s ‘guest room’ (aka just an extra room with a small dining table). She sat down next to him, and Kohga was clearly eager to hear her speak.

“So! What brings you over? Just wanted to visit the studliest guy you know?”

“That as well. But I do in fact, need a favor.”

“Name it, lil’ red.”

“Well, we’ve been studying the properties of electric resistant materials. We have the electric darners and the like, but we would appreciate some voltfruit. Two crates, if possible.”

“Done! Cil!”

The blade master walked to his side, bowing respectfully.

“Yes, Master Kohga.”

“Have the boys get two crates of voltfruit ready for her, and have a few blade masters on standby to carry it for her, I don’t want her to lift a finger.”

“Right away, Master Kohga. Shall I fetch you some snacks as well?”

“Yeah, whatever you guys got. And tea, they know which one Mipha likes.”

“Anything else, Master Kohga?”

“No, that’s it.”

Kohga smacked his cheek a bit, and Cil backed away, practically giddy. Mipha decided now was as good of a time as ever.

“So...he’s new.”

“Oh yeah. Nice guy. Super attentive. Almost annoying, honestly. But he does his job.”

“What of Sooga?”

Kohga halted. He refused to fully acknowledge it, until he sighed.

“I...don’t wanna talk about it. But I do, I guess. I...I dunno.”

Mipha reached over to hold his hand, offering him a soft, sweet smile.

“If you don’t want to talk about it, I will not force your hand. However, I do think you’ll feel much better if you talk about it. You helped me and Link. Let me help you and Sooga.”

Kohga stopped, before softly sighing. He exchanged the grip on her hand, clearly needing the physical support.

“I...went into Sooga’s room. And...I found a ring. Sooga wanted to propose to me.”

Mipha’s face lit up, just how he knew she would.

“Oh! How lovely! Was...the ring not enough?”

“No, not at all. It was stunning, really. Prettiest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“So...the issue lies where?”

He looked over at her puzzled face. His next words clearly surprised her.

“I don’t want to marry him.”

Mipha covered her mouth with her other hand.

“But, don’t you love him?”

“I do!”

Kohga took his hand away, using it as a means to help him talk.

“I love him! A LOT! He’s the most serious relationship that I’ve ever been in! He’s sweet, he’s handsome, he’s caring, he KNOWS me! I love him half to death! I just-”

He stopped, scratching like hell at his head. How to explain this? How to translate this to someone as sweet and pure as her.

He groaned, letting his face thunk onto the counter.

“I don’t want to commit. I don’t want to be stuck into something I can’t get out of. I don’t want this to be a thing that keeps me from doing things I like. What if he ends up not being the one? What if once we get married, he changes? Turns stifling, or wants KIDS? God what if he wants KIDS, Mipha?! I’m the cool gay uncle, not a dad!”

Mipha didn’t seem to get it fully. Of course she didn’t. But like everything she did, she tried very hard to help the wounded. She leaned over and placed her hand at his cheek. He met her eyes, her soft, kind gaze.

“Kohga. I do not fully understand not wanting to be wed. I’ve wanted to be wed since I was a guppy. But I do understand that this is a lot for you to take in. However, I want you to understand that you are not the only one hurt. Sooga has been out in the woods, awaiting you and hunting.”

“Oh my god he ACTUALLY went hunting- I was fucking with him.”

Mipha softly chuckled, shaking her head.

“I know. However, this relationship isn’t just you. It’s Sooga. You aren’t going to like this, but you need to apologize to him. You pushed him away with no explanation, no reasoning. Pain is worse when it is unwarranted. Please, say you’ll talk to him and ask for his forgiveness. He is devoted to you. He deserves to at least have that respect.”

“....Yeah. Yeah, you might have a point, Mipha.”

“I’d like to think so. Would you like to finish tea time before we get Sooga?”

“...Yeah, honestly. Better swallow this before I swallow my pride.”

------------------------------

“Anything from Mipha yet?”

Link shook his head, not seeing a message from her on the sheikah slate yet. Impa had just finished hearing the whole situation from Sooga’s end, and she seemed to get more and more steamed as the story went on. By the time he finished, she stood up, hands on her hips.

“I know your problem!”

“Pardon?”

“I know your problem! He’s lost respect for you!”

Sooga wasn’t getting this, and neither did anyone else it seemed. Impa leaned down to look him in his face, jabbing her finger in his chest.

“You need to show him you’re strong, confident! You need to go over there and DEMAND a reason!”

“But...I’ve been kicked out of the clan. It is against the rules to-”

“Is your love for Kohga NOT above the rules?!”

Sooga blinked. She...had a real good point, actually. He thought about it for a second, before firmly nodding.

“You’re right. The law is NOTHING in the shadow of my affections for my Master.”

“Right?! So you need to get up off this log! You need to go right up there! And you need to show him you’re SERIOUS about him!”

Sooga found himself suddenly standing up, hands in fists.

“You’re right! Absolutely right! I CANNOT stand by and let him think his love ISN'T worth fighting for!”

“HELL YES!”

Impa punched him in his chest, and that somehow lit Sooga up like a fire. WIth that classic Yiga skill, he poofed into nothing but talismans. Zelda looked over at Impa, sighing.

“You know, Impa, I value your tenacity.”

“Thank you, Princess!”

“But...you understand that this could not end well, right?”

“....yeah. Oops.”

------------------------------------

“Thanks again, Mipha. I needed that.”

“Of course. I’m very glad you listened to my words. I wish you both the best. I hope S-”

“Princess, excuse us.”

Suddenly Sooga was just right there, butting right in between him and the princess. Cil was right at Kohga’s side, readying his blade, before Sooga swatted his hand away, disarming him in a heartbeat. His eyes met Kohga, and he tried terribly hard not to embrace him. He missed him terribly, he just wanted to hug him.

“You two, leave. I need a word with him.”

Cil was about to attack, when Kohga held his hand, stopping him.

“N-no. It’s fine. He’s right. We do need to talk.”

“Good. Your room. WITHOUT your new pet.”

Sooga practically herded Kohga into his room, as if he was cattle. Then the door slammed behind him. This was weird. He was standing so aggressively over him, and Kohga looked so...meek. Apologetic.

What was wrong with them?

Sooga was about to raise his voice, demanding reasoning for his heartache, only for him to suddenly go onto one knee.

“I...I missed you, so much. Please, please don’t kick me out again. My heart longed for you every minute I was away from you. Please, please tell me what I did wrong. I’ll never do it again, I swear it.”

Kohga lost his meek demeanor, groaning and scratching his head.

“You...didn’t do anything.”

Sooga looked up, head cocked.

“I...don’t understand?”

“You didn’t do anything! That’s the problem! You’re perfect! You LOVE me! You wanted to MARRY me, Sooga!”

Sooga’s eyes lit in recognition.

“You..found the ring, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, I did. And I...didn’t want you to ask. So I kicked you out until I knew you’d not wanna ask me.”

“I...I’d never want to stop asking you.”

Kohga threw his hands up in frustration.

“That’s the problem!! You wanna get married, you wanna settle down, I bet you wanna have kids too don’t you?!”

“I’d….like twelve, honestly.”

“Fucks SAKE!”

Kohga turned a full three sixty, gesturing to him wildly.

“That’s CRAZY! You love me! And I can’t bring myself to make such a huge commitment! What if we change when we get married? What if I decide I DON’T want this?! What if we get TIRED of each ot-”

Sooga reached over to hold onto his hand. For a moment, everything was silent, easy as a still lake. Sooga lightly shook his head.

“Then you do not have to say yes.”

“But! Aren’t you gonna be stupid humilated if-”

“I won’t. I want to marry you, very much. I want to be with you, and I want to be deemed worthy of being your husband. But not at the expense of your happiness. Your joy is my own. I can be reincarnated a thousand times over, and STILL want your hand. But it doesn’t matter. Your joy is my joy, your sorrow is my sorrow. I will wait until you’re ready.”

“What if I’m not ready? Ever?”

“That is fine. If I can love you in ANY degree, I will accept it. Even if you wed another, I will not stop having love for you. Just...please. Don’t ask me to leave you, ever again. I trust no one but me to take care of you. Not that ‘Cil’ fellow. I hate his name.”

Kohga’s hand lightly shook, before he suddenly lunged at Sooga, wrapping his arms around him. Sooga stayed there for a moment, before he sighed, wrapping his arms around him. He missed this body, missed this voice and this warmth. Kohga sniffed, wiping his face in his shoulder.

“I hate him too, he’s such a kiss ass. And his ass is SO flat.”

That earned an actual, good laugh from Sooga. Yeah.

He was worth loving, ring or not.

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas]

If requests are still open, I have a somewhat angsty one.

You’ve established that Kohga has a fear of commitment. There’s been speculation in the fandom that Kohga is immortal, or at least much longer lived than most humans. Could his fear of commitment derive, at least partly, from the fact that any partners he has will almost certainly die long before him? It’s likely Kohga has already suffered the loss of at least one beloved partner. How would Kohga and Sooga go about discussing this issue?

I. Feel SO DUMB. That I haven't made this connection before??? You right, let's fucking, do something with this???

"Ooh, what about these?"

"Oh those ARE lovely!"

Mipha and Kohga were planning Mipha's big day. As such, jewelry was needed. Mipha had the head pieces ready, but she wanted something more intricate to add onto it. It was a charming Gerudo jewelry store, and they were just having a grand ol' time.

"Sooga, should we do gold or silver? Sooga?"

Kohga turned to look for Sooga, who was right there, looking at wedding rings. Of course. Kohga was going to scold him, but there was...a longing in his eyes. Something that hurt him, and tearing him away from the rings would only deepen the cut. Sooga caught his gaze however, and moved away, joining them once more.

"Apologies. I'd do silver, but I am quite the traditionalist, so."

"Hmmm...silver it is!"

Mipha was too distracted by the idea of her own wedding to see Sooga's strife. But Kohga could see it a mile away. He didn't want to. But he knew.

He had to tell him the truth.

-------------------------------

"Here you are, Master."

Mipha had long since gone home with Sidon, excited for more planning. Meanwhile, Kohga decided to spend just a bit more time out here, right on the tree above Rhoam hill. Sooga had picked up lunch for them both (fish on rice for Sooga, pork dumplings for Kohga), before sitting down next to his Master. Kohga opened the box, starting to pick at his food. It looked good, but knowing he was going to tell him now was...a lot for him to digest. Sooga ate slowly, as if it'd be rude to eat much faster. He knew something was wrong.

"Master? Is something troubling you?"

"....Sooga. I saw you looking at the rings."

"I apologize. I was in my own world, I didn't mean to-"

Kohga held his finger up to silence him. Kohga took a deep breath.

"I'm not scolding you. I...I just. It reminded me that I've kinda been lying to you. For a while now."

Sooga looked confused, and rightfully so. Kohgs took a deep breath, before exhaling.

"I...I've never been totally against getting married. Because...well. I've been married once before."

Sooga gawked in pure disbelief, and Kohga couldn't blame him.

"You...you were MARRIED?! You said you've only ever had boyfriends or flings-"

"I lied. I'm sorry. I'm a lying liar pants. I was married before. Cil knows about it, but I made him keep it a secret, till the day he died."

There was a silence between them. Nothing but the leaves rustling under the wind's strength. Sooga broke it, speaking, but not looking at Kohga.

"What...was he like?"

"He...was kinda like you. Not as big nor as pretty, but he cared for me. He loved me, he'd do anything for me. He was a long term friend outside of the clan. Dad didn't like it, but we got married in secret. We fell in love right on this hill, actually. I remember it was where we first met, we first kissed...it's a spot that means a lot to me, as stupid as it is."

Another silence. Kohga knew he wasn't taking this well, nor poorly. He was still absolutely fucked by this information, he needed to let him take it at his own pace. He pushed some rice into his mouth. Not out of hunger, but the need to just. Do SOMETHING as he thought.

"What...happened to him?"

"....he died. Sooga, I outlived him. I outlived...a lot of people in my life. My first husband, my mom, my dad, even my great uncle. I outlive a lot of my partners and I'm worried that if I marry you...it's gonna hurt when I outlive you. It hurt the first time, I don't think I can do it again."

Sooga thought about it still. Kohga was getting worried now, Sooga wasn't one to absent-mindedly eat like this. Kohga watched as he fiddled with the rice, processing it all.

"He was. A very lucky man, to have been wed to you."

"...you don't sound upset."

"I'm...sad. Sad that you had to go through that, and I had no idea. Master Kohga, I love you more than words can express. For you to feel pain or sorrow, for a moment, is agony to my soul. I'm sorry you went through something like this. I want to marry you, of course. But not if it ultimately hurts you."

Kohga sighed, slipping his hand onto Sooga's. So big, and firm, just like his was.

"You sound like him. And just like him, you're gonna keep trying to lock me down, aren't you?"

"Well, it's certainly worth a try."

Sooga chuckled, leaning in to bump his mask against his.

"But...I would like the lies to end. You need not lie to me. I accept all that you are."

"Alright, deal. No more lies from here on."

"....your father didn't like him. Would he have liked me?"

"Pfft- in a HEARTBEAT. You're as dumb and as loyal as they come. Hell, HE'D be pressuring me to ask you if his ass was still alive."

Sooga chuckled. There was still something in between them because of this, they could feel it. But through Sooga's swords of devotion, it was nothing he couldn't cut through. It was nothing that he wouldn't go through, for his Master.

For his love.