#knowing the breakfast it couldve shouldve been

[altaroftransexuality]

top ten breakfasts that inspire poetry

[jaded-of-mara]

LEGENDS CON RETROSPECTIVE

COSPLAY THOUGHTS

I suffer from specialist little boy syndrome. every local con i've gone to, i've been the only mara jade. HOWEVER. i knew that there would be multiple maras at legends con. and i was right

when i saw barbara hambly was going to speak at legends con, i knew i was going to have to cosplay callista. because i suffer from specialist little boy syndrome.

this is my own interpretation of callista, based on a combination of several official art pieces that i just didn't vibe with tbh. i do what i want

BUT in retrospect. if i ever decide to work with this type of vinyl again. please shoot me

anyway. a few people recognized me. i probably shouldve asked for a photo with barbara hambly but i chickened out.

i'm glad fandom is starting to reevaluate callista. because the misogyny present in some of those older fics? woof

also: new definition of hell unlocked: sitting trapped in a lightsaber sales pitch while your wig cap crawls up your head underneath your wig and you have to sit there nodding politely while trapped in a sensory nightmare

CONVENTION THOUGHTS

pretty tight. lotta good panels

got the unofficial guide book for dark horse star wars writers. some stuff thats applicable to fic some stuff not. vv funny to see how many of its rules the new canon violates tho

also some panels that were actually sales pitches

also some panels that couldve used some audience q&a rather than just prepared questions, but who knows what guests stipulate

i recognize that with every con there will always be some panel overlap, but the 15 minute overlap specifically felt a little harsh. day-of it wasn't as much of an issue bc of last-minute reschedulings

artist alley was a little bare, but it was a first con, things can only go up from here. shocking the places that supernatural merch can creep into tho

SOCIALIZATION THOUGHTS

i shouldve come out of my shell more. or cajoled a friend into making the thousand-mile drive with me.

i might have made more friends if i had gone to cantina night but i don't drink so idk what the vibe wouldve been

i did end up meeting a tumblr mutual for breakfast in burbank proper and that was fun

to make up for not making friends day of i have been following everyone whos posted in the legends con tag. from my main which has a cring url so who knows if they know i was there

HOTEL THOUGHTS

i wish i had checked out the hot tub but i didnt see the sign for where it was until i was checking out. i thought the only pool was outdoors and (see photos above) me and outdoor pools don't mix well

this is a very white trash and/or dean-coded thing to say but every hotel room should come with both continental breakfast AND a microwave

staff were vv nice but also i did feel silly walking around in my costume in the fancy lobby during an actual like. work convention

CONCLUSION

one of the organizers informally speculated that the next legends con might not be until spring/summer 2025. if thats the case, good, bc it means my body will have forgotten what it was like driving from green river utah to burbank in one day (do not recommend)

[sonny-whorezik]

the thought of anyone touching me as lovingly and as gentle as they have makes me nauseous. it takes a lot to accept physical touch from anyone , i barely let my mom hug me and i dont even live with her or see her anymore . to think of anyone taking the role of intimacy in my life makes me so , so upset and uncomfortable . i have no interest in anyone , nor do i wish to pursue people . i tried bumble friends when i moved and i cant tolerate most people , id find myself bored and disinterested . i was so, so so sure i was to spend a lifetime with them , convinced and wrote a story and would bookmark rings in case . all gone , likely for good , and i have no clue how long it will take to want to start again with someone new , i doubt i ever will , at least for many years . and ive felt so alone for so long and my lifestyle wont change because of this , we've barely talked since november and i go out , eat , drive , sleep alone and have for a long time now . primarily influenced by long distance and i just sit and think now "i shouldve just sacrificed and moved back to the desert." even though i cant stand the heat , id at least be able to love and be loved in return . not that i havent been , but how i wish i could . eat breakfast together , go to parks and ride bikes together , drive around together , share a bed together . we've spent about 5 weeks together out of the entire year and i feel like im starving . its selfish to feel all i feel i know this , yet it isnt going away . it just ended . i dont know how long this will last but i know i will forever til the end of my life mourn and grieve and be downright fucking sick to my stomach that there was nothing i couldve done , nothing to salvage , i gave it my all yet here i am wishing i could do more . im supposed to wake up in 35 minutes and ive been up since 2:30 i think . im so . so tired . i want nothing more than to be held , which i have thought about since our visit ended in november , bringing up the fact if i have to one day be held by someone else , i dont think i can do it . no time soon whatsoever but jesus christ i Just want to be held

[pinkadork]

I haven't really talked much but like.

Between being sexually harassed trying to get to work since my car erupted into flames and then paying that mf ( and ofc people i trust) to take me to work (when they do since its not like i havent been left either at the house or at work and had to either stay home, walk or beg people to pick me up, between my family hanging money over my head trying to get me motivated and help me get a car when i could really use it more to help with bills, the immense summer guilt thats just become the norm atp. I feel it. I've been tired for so long. I try to fake some kind of mojo on some fake it til ya ma it shit but i stg everyday is some other bs. I've had stuff get cut off temporarily in the past so it shouldnt be a big deal but idk. I just wish things couldve been different i guess.

I shouldve been fired ,which I'm glad im not but the anxiety knowing im well past the point limit and feel like at any moment im gonna either get a call that im fired or get dropped off just for my ID to not work and be stuck walkin back is constantly on my mind.

I always feel like im still messing up relationships with people i love and care about even though im trying and have been using the coping skills ive since ive been seeing a therapist again. Yeah i say im lonely but is more than that honestly, im just devastated everyday goes by like this, i had to address and try to figure out the situation of their stuff a few months ago because i felt immensely guilty over everything. I packed stuff up months ago im still washing and packing. Or i was. I feel like i dont get to so shit now but disappoint and upset people. I couldn't even explain that im upset because i feel like ive had to try and motivate myself so much just to live and that i feel like i dont go to work for anything. Hearing everyone talk about the good money we make at work knowing i havent been able to make it a full work week with out something happening irks my soul, even more so when its like im still trying and then either the response is try harder or give up and throw away the progress. I dont necessarily care about money but its obvious niggas need it. Ive been eating out of the convenience store or at work since August. Ive bought groceries twice in the last 3 months and groceries is being charitable because if im being honest i bought some breakfast food and have been esting on that to the point where i might be tired of it. I've always had to take care of myself against the stupidest of odds so sue me if im bitter that instead of chilling and relishing like everyone else about owning my house after being homeless and getting kicked out, thrown around, feeling like i have to mold into this nigga, that nigga to get through shit. I'm sorry that after every funeral, fight, breakup, sudden job change, shitty living environment, and overall fuckup ive done in my life wont mean a goddamn thing. Its always just gonna be something i couldve done more with, did better, tried harder. I dont want too anymore.

[ooc-but-stylish]

EP Ignis ‘liveblog’

There’s an alternate ending for this, apparently. The video is going to go through both playthroughs, not sure about there being a “bad ending”. I’ll watch that later probably.

according to comments on the video, the king that usurped Ardyn was confirmed to be his brother? I’ll just keep watching and see where this comes up.

Regis: "as his friend, and as his brother" Ig/Noct shippers: *will pointedly ignore the brother comment*

Iggy's fighting style is nice and fluid. I like.

Being able to see and influence which faction controls a part of the town is more like what I was suggesting for the whole game in an alternate scenario I posited. I dunno, maybe I should repost that sometime, since it was a reply to someone else originally.

Did Iggy just pull a Aranea? *Ignea shipping intensifies* ( I don’t know what the official ship name for Ignis and Aranea is, sorry )

Everything does look more epic than the main game.

Archives: Photos and Documents? I feel like they shouldve had this in the main game to get notes and stuff and some backstory. Did they? IDK. 

The way Ignis uses magic on his daggers is exactly how Noctis should have fought, I mean, considering his bloodline has magic by birthright, the fact that he can cast spells should affect how he thinks of things, solves problems, and essentially lives his life-- instead of this unimaginative "ah lemme just make some grenades in a flask".

I love how Ignis is just selling/buying things to NO ONE. He’s such a good guy putting down gil that no one will come back to retrieve. I mean, that’s what I think is happening with this shop mechanic.

the more I watch this, the more I think that if they lasted a year+ longer with this game in development they couldve just given us Versus XIII, with how fluidly Ignis fights and the Altissia scenes.

"We can't go losing our heads," says Gladio, yelling out of nowhere like a jackass to Ignis who is actually doing shit.

did they ever confirm that Caligo killed Jared? I’m surprised they still keep mentioning that guy.

Ravus calling Iggy "Boy" when theyre less than a decade apart. What even is this dialogue, he’s just so patronizing.

The soundstrack is pretty good, real talk.

Yeah... it honestly looks like Luna never ever told Ravus about the fact that she chose to let Regis's hand go. She just weakly protested in KG that "Regis did not kill our mother" or something.

This is ugly. I don’t ship NoctLuna because of the violation of trust and general shittiness needed to know that someone is going to die as part of a role that was thrust on them. Regis and Luna are both fucked up and Square is like “Ah yes I know the solution, let’s add Ignis to the list” fuck off. This means Ignis knew damn well what was in store for Noctis and he a) didn’t tell him, b) let Gladio shittalk Noctis on the train and even further c) still let Noctis go and die for a world that didn’t give an iota of a fuck about him. 

Okay. Ravus got me feeling feels. He had more of a vision for Luna’s future than Luna did. I’m dying over here. Luna continues to be an object and not a person, with 0 speaking lines as a ghostly apparition that people pine for.

WHAT? ARDYN? WHAT A JACKASS! Although I wouldn’t have put it past canon Gladio to attack Ravus out of nowhere, that’s how badly they butchered him throughout this series. 

So Ravus can tell Gladio is Ardyn off of basically nothing, but then couldn’t tell it was him later in Chapter 13 Verse 2? Sounds legit!

Ignis’s “Noooooct!” doesn’t sound as heartwrenching as when he shouts it during Noctis suffering a mere KO out in the field. 

They made Ignis's eyes look larger just to show how pretty they are I swear.

"but if a Glaive can harness its power, then so can I!" HOW THE FUCK WOULD HE KNOW THAT? NO ONE TOLD HIM

Ultra Instinct Ignis *muffled Ultimate Battle theme in the distance*

Prompto helping Ignis and keeping a hand at his back <3

so, Noctis knows he has to keep moving forward, and he does keep moving forward even against Ignis’s wishes, proving he knows what’s at stake, and Gladio apparently still yells at him for what IS effectively "no reason". Good going, writers.

Awww, the smile!

--

[ ‘Alternate’ Scenario ]

Play along? What could go wrong?

Zegnautus Keep? Ignis got kidnapped to chapter 13? We’d have to get every other character’s reaction off of this. I mean is this Chapter 13, or would Ignis have been kidnapped to Gralea before Prompto got pushed off the train?

This Mysterious Voice doesnt sound like Bahamut. It’s like Luna run through random voice modifier three times straight. Or it could be “Eos” or whatever people want to headcanon. So if this is Luna... even post-mortem and crystallized does she never stop talking about Noctis and his role. Hers is not an existence I envy.

Ardyn: *Nightmare Face* Ardyn Fans: *probably wanna bang him even more than they previously did*

Okay so it was Ardyn’s brother that snatched the throne from him, just like people theorized.... a whole goddamn year ago. Watch the other language versions of this playthrough come up with different subtitles/dialogue or some shit. It’s like a puzzle but half the pieces are missing and the other half is scattered every which way and the corner parts ended up in someone’s breakfast cereal.

Dancing Mad will start playing aaaaany second now.

Okay so we get the same situation, different context.

Ardyn’s fight with Ignis is 1000x more impressive than the random scrolling green screen looking effect they had in the original game.

JESUS FUCK IGGY also can we get that as a new outfit?

This soundtrack is godly!

*ULTIMATE BATTLE THEME INTENSIFIES*

Ignis could beat Ardyn enough that he wouldnt come back for a long time but Nyx had to die from Glauca? Fuck Nyx, apparently.

Damn, ouch. Feels. Also: Yay, Gladio is allowed to have feelings other than “angry”.

Noctis can put on the Ring and not feel excruciating pain, meaning the only reason why it did in the first place was because Tabata loves tragedy and causing pain to the main character for some shitass reason. I mean they could easily have written it being a painful experience uniformly across all scenarios but they didn’t.

Is the Crystal’s light healing Ignis? ... he still looks hurt eyewise...

Oh, finally, Noct being proactive on some measure.

It looks like Iggy can still see.

ARANEA CAMEO WHAT WHAT

OLD RAVUS who looks vaguely like Iedolas. Glad to see they didn’t shaft him this time. I like.

Noctis lives~! and it sounds like Ignis said “Your Majesty”. 

So if this happened as the legitimate ending, I wouldn’t even have blinked or called foul, which says a lot about the original ending. I mean they even keep in with the theme of Brotherhood and have them all face Ardyn together instead of Noctis shouldering everything by himself because some scaly asshole said so.