#knowing none of them can touch me w/o looking more like a freak themselves

[dlnqnt]

just finished blocking abt 1200 ppl love curating my online space :)

[tg-headcanons]

CONGRATS ON THE MILESTONE BESTIE!! Honestly you are a credit to this fandom. For the alphabet may I please have 💕Urie💕 pretty please and thank you! Could it be female reader please? Or if you prefer GN. TYSM!

In the words of the greatest poet of our time: ✨come on fuck me emo boy✨

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex): he’s not very big into aftercare, and he’d need to be told to do it since he doesn’t get that his partner might be uncomfortable moving on right after it’s over. Even if he bottomed and obviously got a little hurt, he’s going to try to get clean and dressed. Though since the quinx surgery, he gets a little depressed after leaving right after sex. He obviously doesn’t know that ghouls really need cuddles after that to avoid a drop, so he probably won’t figure out that he needs aftercare until his partner makes him

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s): he likes his biceps, he’s worked on them quite a lot and will check them out in the mirror if no one is looking. On his partner, it’s abs. He just likes the way a good set of abs looks, that’s understandable

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically): he’s a bit of a clean freak and doesn’t like dealing with cum. He wears condoms and if his partner is a Penis Owner he won’t do anything until they do as well

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs): When he was a horny 16 year old with even worse judgement then he has now, he looked up porn on the computer provided to him by the academy, panicked when he realized the server would remember this, and scrambled to delete any evidence. Just to be safe, he downloaded some software that said it would clear this search history from any attached engine, and he ended up giving the whole school a virus. To this day he’s never told anyone that he was the reason for that massive crash because he doesn’t want to explain why

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?): You wouldn’t expect it, but he’s a virgin. He never cared to seek a relationship since he had better things to do, and he doesn’t like the idea of a random hook up because the thought of catching an std or just dealing with a body that isn’t perfectly clean grosses him out

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying): if he’s topping, butterfly. If he’s bottoming, cowboy. He always wants to be in control, and it takes a great deal of coaxing for his partner to ever be physically on top of him

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.): he’s very serious. Never joking as he’s too deep in focusing on his sensations and performance

H = Heat (what are heats like for them? How do they handle it?): since he’s a quinx and not a half ghoul, his heats are extremely mild in comparison, so it’s just fever, muscle fatigue, slight brain fog, and of course the horny. He tries to go about his routine like normal but is ordered to rest because Bro You Have A Fever and in addition to the symptoms, he’s pissed at being stuck in the house and is very repressed. He’s angry at his superiors, he’s uneasy from the interrupted routine, he’s worried since he doesn’t know what this is and he’s frustrated because his dick isn’t going down. He ends up taking a lot of cold showers, and takes care of it

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect): he’s not very intimate on the outside. He goes about sex like it’s a competition, trying to show that he’s good at it, that he can make his partner feel good easily, and he can get his pleasure from his work. Though with all the harsh motions, he can find himself with odd emotions cropping up. He always thought of himself as being above getting attached, but when he fucks he does feel affectionate, just struggles to show it

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon): he tends to get hard after workouts. Something about blood flow from what he’s read online, and it doesn’t look like there’s antidote or anything so he just has to deal with it. He does it in the shower after his workouts, leaning against the wall

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks): hair pulling. Not much to elaborate on, whether he’s doing it to his partner or they’re doing it to him, it adds some spice

L = Location (favorite places to do the do): Shower. He doesn’t like feeling dirty, and sex can be sticky and sweaty, so doing it in the water let’s him alleviate the worry of filth and focus on his partner

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going): sparring. Something about fighting someone with his bare hands is exhilarating. It’s primal and raw, and seeing an opponent really using that muscle and speed makes him appreciate their body even more. Makes him want to pin them down and continue fighting for dominance in place of foreplay

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs): Degradation. He can take aggressive teasing, curses and insults, but if they say anything that suggests he’s inadequate, disappointing, or a failure in some way, it gets to be too much for him. Normally he’d hate to hear it but be able to get past it, but he can’t take that while so exposed and vulnerable

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.): he prefers to receive. He gets a little grossed out by having someone’s genitals in his mouth even if they’re using protection unless they’ve just bathed

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.): he’s fast. He seems to think he has something to prove, and prioritizes looking like he knows what he’s doing over… actually knowing what he’s doing. He’ll start off immediately rough, and won’t slow down unless he’s firmly told to. If he’s riding he’ll rush into it and keep going even if he clearly isn’t prepped enough, he’s too eager to feel good that he tries not to show that he’s in pain and his partner would probably have to make him stop before he hurts himself badly. The guy’s a bit overexcited when he gets down to it

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.): they’re not his thing. There isn’t enough time to be sure he and his partner are clean or shower when it’s done, he might not have condoms on him, there’s a lot of planning that goes into sex that he can’t account for in a short time. Unless he and his partner have thoroughly talked out what would need to be in place for him to be comfortable with it, he won’t do them

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.): he’s down to try new kinks so long as he sets firm boundaries for them, but doing anything at work is a firm No

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?): one or two rounds, but he can go hard for a long time. He can keep a brutal pace for way longer than most can

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?): he has none, but wouldn’t shy away from getting some of his partner wanted to incorporate them into their sex lives. He would be nervous if they wanted to use one on him that’s bigger than what he’s used to taking, but wouldn’t let them see his unease and let them go ahead with it. The only thing he won’t let a partner use on him is vibrators, he doesn’t like the way quick vibrations feel on his hands when operating machinery, let alone anywhere near his dick

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease): he doesn’t like teasing. He wants to get right into the act

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.): he’s very quiet, heavy breaths, shuddering exhales, and a low moan when he comes is all you’ll get from him

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character): he had no idea how sensitive the soft underside of a koukaku is until Ginshi grabbed him by it to pull him out of the way of an attack. Before he knew what he was doing he let out a quavering gasp, then pretended that he doesn’t know what Ginshi was talking about when he asked what the hell that was. When he got home that night, he tried touching it again, and since then he often strokes it when jerking off. He got past the weirdness of it after awhile and it became routine

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes): 5.5-6 inches, and very girthy

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?): not that high. He’s content to fuck once or twice a week, but can go for more if his partner wants

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards): he’s not tired when it’s over, it wakes him up more than anything

[my-arlington-academia]

Kissing the cards of the Crystal 6 goodnight 🌌🌙 (headcanons/scenarios)

Since the crystal 6 can feel a "tingle" when Seeker draws their card from the deck during a reading, that got me thinking: What if they also feel a "tingle" through their card when Seeker is touching it outside of a reading? Or in this case, what if Seeker kisses it? 🤔

Chaya

- Blushes right away

- What she felt... it was lips, right?

- "B-but why would Seeker kiss my card? That’s kind of silly, maybe I’m mistaken..."

- Spoilers: she wasn’t mistaken 😂

- This feeling comes only when Seeker is alone in their room

- Chaya quickly comes to the conclusion that this isn’t just a random feeling she gets out of nowhere, it really is Seeker kissing her card before falling asleep...

- She tries to confront them about it, although really shyly

- "Seeker, I don’t mean to pry b-but... You’ve been doing something to my card lately, right?"

- Seeker just goes silent for a moment

- "So... You could feel that?!? Oh God..."

- Chaya is really confused, she’s unsure of what to do next and just sorta stands there silently until Seeker calms down

- Does that mean Seeker will stop doing that?! Chaya regrets confronting them now, it’s not like she disliked it

- On the contrary, if she had to be completely honest, she liked it. A lot.

- "Will... Will you stop doing it? I’m totally fine with it so you can keep going! Uh- only if you want to, of course!"

- Seeker is not dumb, they got the message: Chaya likes the feeling she gets when they kiss her card

- And so, they get a little bit cocky. Seeker takes Chaya’s card out of the deck and kisses it right in front of her

- As always, Chaya blushes but she covers her face this time, knowing that Seeker is watching her reaction

- "Wh-what was that for?! You can just kiss me directly when we’re together..."

Kera

- Understands what it is right away although she doesn’t 100% get why Seeker is doing that

- Sometimes, she doubts her judgement a bit because of the confusion, though she quickly gets back on track

- "Come on, Kera. What they’re doing is obvious, stop doubting yourself..."

- Tries to ignore it, thinks to herself "What they’re doing alone is none of my business."

- But after mulling it over some more: No actually, it is her business.

- It’s her card and she’s bound to it so she obviously feels everything that’s happening to it

- Why is she trying so hard to ignore this???

- "Feeling shy is not like me." Kera thinks to herself. She finally decides to confront Seeker, and she’s really honest about it

- "I know you’ve been kissing my card from time to time. Could you tell me why you’re doing that? It... It confuses me."

- Seeker tenses up immediately and avoids Kera’s gaze while trying to explain it

- "I see... So you’re attracted to me and kissing my card goodnight pleases you in some weird way? ...Alright."

- Seeker is losing it, well yes, long story short it’s what they said but still...

- "...Don’t look down like that. You can keep doing it. I didn’t want to admit it at first but... Frankly, I enjoy that feeling."

- Seeker is a bit surprised, they’re used to Kera’s bluntness but they didn’t expect her to actually like something of this sort

- Unconvinced, Seeker takes the card out from the deck and places a gentle kiss on it

- Kera tries to stay stoic at the contact, and yet her pale skin betrays her. Even the slightest blush is clearly visible on her cheeks.

Maeve

- Gets it immediately and is eager to tease Seeker about it

- Goes to search for them and finds them quite easily

- "Oh, of course they would be in their room..."

- Doesn’t want to be too aggressive about it so she knocks a few times

- "Heyyy~ Owner? May I get an explanation as to what you’re doing to my card right now? Even better if it’s a cohesive one and not some fresh served BS pretty please~"

- Seeker opens the door in a hurry, cheeks flushed

- "What...! Ugh. Don’t tell me you felt that?"

- "I sure did. ❤"

- Seeker tries hopelessly to dodge the question and change the subject... really clumsily

- "...Wow. You won’t fool anyone with that cute face of yours, you know?~"

- She pinches their cheek and Seeker backs away

- "P-please don’t. You don’t get how mortified I am right now..."

- "Aww come on, there’s no need for that. It felt kind of nice, actually. Why don’t you try to do it again?"

- Swiftly, Maeve steals the deck out of Seeker’s pocket and draws her card, then she holds it in front of their lips

- "No need to be shy~ If you did it once already then surely you can do it again?"

- Reluctantly, Seeker closes their eyes and softly places a kiss on the card

- She would never admit it, but Maeve liked that kiss more than she should have...

- "See? It wasn’t that hard now, was it? ❤ Goodnight~"

Mikael

- Is really perplexed. Why would Seeker do that?

- There’s no way they’re wrong, Mikael is really in tune with their card by now to make this kind of rookie mistake

- Well, it’s not like there’s a need to confront Seeker about it. It was probably just a one time thing although Mikael isn’t sure as to why they did it in the first place

- Spoilers: it wasn’t a "one time" thing 😉

- Almost every evening/night, Mikael feels this pleasant sensation... but why?

- It’s not like them to get so curious but... Well, it wouldn’t hurt to ask, right?

- "Seeker, I’ve noticed that at about the same time every night, I feel some pleasant sensation go through my body. I have the suspicion that you’re the one behind this. Am I wrong?"

- Seeker goes into panic mode

- "O-Oh- Uh. Yes, I’m so sorry, I won’t do it again-"

- Mikael reassures them immediately, they just want to know why Seeker is doing it, that’s all

- "Well I- Ugh, that’s so embarrassing... For a little while now, I got the habit of kissing your card goodnight before I fall asleep... Please don’t think I’m a creep."

- Mikael is taken aback by this, they’re not sure what they expected but it surely wasn’t this

- "No worries. I was merely curious, that’s all. And I like the feeling I get when you do that so please, don’t stop that lovely "habit" of yours. Plus, if you wouldn’t mind..."

- Mikael gently slides their hand into Seeker’s pocket and takes their card out of it

- "...Kiss it in front of me, you’ll see that this doesn’t make me feel unpleasant at all."

- Seeker does as they’re told and seeing Mikael’s reaction to it, well... they don’t want to stop with only one kiss.

Reyes

- Doesn’t fully get it and tries to pass it as "just a random jolt" the first time it happens

- The 2nd time, he wants to believe that it’s just some weird coincidence or something

- But the 3rd time... There’s no way around it, Seeker is doing something to his card and he’s not sure if that "something" pleases him, knowing what it is

- It may be the first time that he’s hoping for his intuition to be wrong

- Tries to ignore it even after having figured out that Seeker is the one doing this (obviously) he doesn’t want to talk to them about this matter... or like, talk to them at all

- It would be kind of annoying... but mostly really awkward to be honest

- However, It starts to happen too regularly so he finally decides to confront Seeker about it

- "Listen here. I know what you’ve been doing to my card these last few weeks and I’d appreciate it if you stopped doing that."

- Seeker is really embarrassed at first but they quickly get a hold of themselves

- "...Aren’t you curious as to why I’m doing it?"

- Reyes actually questioned himself a lot about it, not like he would admit that so easily though

- "...What, you’re really bored or something? You want to annoy me, is that it?"

- "No. I’m just wishing you a good night."

- "I- Y-you know that we can’t actually sleep for real, right? Are you completely stupid?!"

- Oh boy... getting that sweet answer flustered him a lot more than intended, Seeker loves this side of him

- "Details. On that note, it’s getting quite late so..."

- Seeker draws Reyes’s card from the deck and places a soft kiss on it, Reyes flinches at the contact

- "Goodnight, Reyes."

- "You- *sigh* Whatever, do what you want... Goodnight."

Vinn

- Wonders what it is the first time he feels it, this type of thing has never happened to him before

- A little "tingle" from time to time when a Master draws his card from the deck, sure. But this "tingle" has never felt this good...

- It happens more and more frequently and- is that the feeling of lips on his cheek??

- He starts looking forward to that "feeling" every night

- Somehow, it always happens when Seeker is about to fall asleep

- He’s really hoping he’s not wrong and that this "feeling" is caused by Seeker kissing his card

- It’s really romantic in a way, but he’s scared of getting the wrong idea

- And so, he tries asking Seeker about it

- "So... How to say this. Don’t freak out but- you um, you kiss my card every night before going to bed, don’t you?"

- Seeker almost spits out their tea

- "Well uh- H-how...? Don’t tell me you feel a "tingle" of some sort?"

- Vinn places his right hand on the back of his neck, he didn’t expect to feel so shy about this to be perfectly honest

- "More than just a "tingle" actually. It feels really good..."

- "So you don’t want me to stop doing it?"

- "W-What?! Of course not! Why would I not like to be kissed goodnight? I just wanted to make sure that I wasn’t the one making this up because of my wishful thinking.... Actually-

- Vinn points at Seeker’s pocket, understanding more or less what he means by that, they take the deck out of their pocket and draw Vinn’s card

- "...Can you kiss it while looking at me?"

- Seeker is really embarrassed because of this whole situation but seeing how Vinn is also blushing... well, let’s say they’re not the only one to feel this way

- Seeker places a gentle kiss on the card, resulting in Vinn’s blush switching to a darker shade of red. Nonetheless, Vinn smiles cheerfully at them, Seeker’s heart melts at the sight.

[henderylikespink]

Fluff Alphabet

최산

Choi San

                                ♡ San ♡

A- Affectionate

San can be so snuggly sometimes! He would really have to be in the mood though lol. I can picture him wrapping his arms around his s/o and snuggling his head against them. If this boy can lay his head on your chest, he is in heaven. 

B- Baby (Do they want a family?)

San probably wants a small family. A kid or two, nothing too much. A small yet very close and united family. :) 

San would totally be the type of dad that all his kid’s friends call him a DILF lmao.

C- Cuddle

I feel like San’s favorite cuddling position would be spooning. He doesn’t really have a preference little spoon but if you want him to hold you all night, he will! 

I do feel like San could only cuddle right before falling asleep before turning to his side of the bed. If he gets too hot, he can’t sleep. His body has to be on the cooler side so even if he really wants to hold you, he really can’t. Unless you have a nightmare or something of that nature, then expect to wake up to his back in the morning. Not like that is a bad thing ;). 

D- Dates

Netflix/ movies dates!! San would love to watch comedies with you to laugh. Romantic movies could also be on the agenda... Y’all would definitely share your favorite tv shows and cry, laugh, and gasp together lol.

Nap are definitely a passtime for y’all lmaoo cuddle on his bed with all his favorite plushies seems like heaven to me.

E- Everything (You are my…)

You are San’s reason to smile. Seriously, one glance at you and he’s beaming like the sun.

F- Feelings (When did they realize they had feelings for you?)

I feel like typically San would only fall for someone he has known for a while. He would realize that he had feelings for you when you guys started to hang out more than you usually did. Also, instead of hanging out with other friends as a group, y’all would hang out separately. It would really shock him to see how comfortable he has gotten with you without even noticing it.

G- Gentle (How gentle are they with you?)

San is a gentle man. Yes, he may get excitable at times but he always is soo gentle with you. One could say you didn’t know if the look in his eye was softer than his touch.

H- Hand/ Hold (How do they hold you?)

San loves to hold your hand! No matter where you are, expect to find his hand intertwened with yours. I can see him being the type of guy to place his arm around your shoulder. Ahhh it would be so freaking cute!!

San would like to cuddle when going to sleep and when watching tv. Other than that, I get the vibes that he likes his personal space. That’s probably why he likes holding your hand a lot.

I- Impression (First Impression)

San probably met you through friends so his first impression was that you were really chill and funny! He loves how well you got along with everyone. The first thing he noticed about you was your beautiful smile :). 

J- Joker (Do they pull pranks?)

He would probably do things like poke your sides or hide from you when you're not looking but I don't know if that's pranking or if it's just annoying lol.

K- Kisses (How do they kiss?)

Sensual, sensual, sensual kisses dear god. He would just grab your chin and go to smooch town. He's definitely a clean kisser, none of that hot, messy shit for him. But remember because it's clean doesn't mean it can't get hot and heavy. ;))

L- Love (Who said I love you first?)

I can see San saying "I love you" first. I feel like San is the type of person who knows what he feels so he just goes for it. That doesn't mean he wouldn't be nervous about it, but he would probably sit on it for a few days before saying it to you. I can see him saying "I love you" between 6-8 months of dating.

M- Memory (Favorite Memory)

San's favorite memory is when he took you to the Han River. Your beautiful reflection that shone in the lake and the smile that accompanied it is forever ingrained in his memory. Full bellies, full smilies, and full hearts, it was definitely a memory San holds dear to his heart.

N- Nickel (Do they spoil you?)

San spoils you!! When he sees you he loves to bring you snacks, or perhaps that sweater that reminded him of you. He would love to have matching rings or necklaces with you.

O- Orange (What color reminds them of you?)

A light, light blue. It reminds him of the day he took you to the Han River when the clouds intertwined with the sky like the delicate hand he held in his own.

P- Pet names (What pet names do they use?)

Definitely uses babe or baby. He uses your name occasionally but he likes babe or baby more.

Q- Questions (What questions are they always asking?)

Send you a good morning test everyday without fail with the question, “Did you sleep well last night?” If he can’t ask you in person.

R- Rainy Day (What do they like to do on a rainy day?)

San loves to catch up on TV shows he hasn’t been able to watch in a while. He loves to see you curled up besides him intently watch the TV. Takeout is a must. 

S- Sad (How do they cheer themselves/ others up?)

I have a feeling that San doesn’t really show when he is sad. The only way you can really tell is due to his lack of energy. San likes to sleep when he is depressed because he has no energy to do anything else. Please spoon this baby when he is like this.

T- Talking (How much do they talk? What do they love to talk about?)

San has a great balance of talking and listening. He can do either one, if you are in a talkative mood he would love to listen to you! San probably loves to talk about the new cheorography Attez is learning, what happened in the latest episode of a show y’all watch, or show you funny/ cute memes he found.

U - Unencumbered (What helps them relax?)

Again, watching TV with you and the members helps him relax. He loves being surrounded by the people he loves and sharing a lot of laughs. When you both relax in all of his plushies on his bed, he instantly relaxes.

V - Vaunt (What do they like to show off? What are they proud of?)

San likes to show off his fashion style. (Boy is always looking snatched) Expensive clothes, jewerly, shoes you get the jist of it. More importantly though, he is very proud of where he is in his career. Several people doubted him as a trainee (even his parents said they thought he would drop out) but he kept persevering to his debut and after. San is so immensely talented, he deserves to see the whole world watch him perform.

W - Why (Reasons why they love you)

San loves how comfortable he is with you. He feels like he has a best friend for life. He wishes the moments of full smiles and laughter never end with you.

X - Xylophone (What’s your song?)

I feel like San would vibe with the song “Paparazzi” by Slchld & oceanfromtheblue, really anything on that album. He really vibes with all the songs so I can see him playing this album when y’all are together.

Y - You (What you are to them?)

Like I mentioned before, you are his best friend for life and his place of comfort. You place so much calmness and reassurance in him that helps him keep moving forward.

Z - Zebra (What pet they want to have?)

San would totally get a small dog of some kind. It would be so cute!! He would always hold the puppy in his arms whenever he could. 

Masterlist

[jeontaeh]

〚TWENTY FIVE〛

Everyone was dead silent. Jungkook had walked out of the cafeteria. No one knew who should speak up first.

"Yo so- I-I think- I think Jungkook's gay."

"We got that part, Jackson."

"How long has he been gay?" Hoseok asked, sounding weary. "Probably his whole life," Jimin mumbled in an irked tone.

"Um- well- wow. That's... great. Good for him! I'm glad he could come out to us," Jin said, and then sighed to himself. "Oh god, we said homophobic shit constantly without knowing- fuck."

"Damn, we should've known. I mean, this puts things into retrospect." Namjoon said, and Jimin hummed.

"Am I the only one who's weirded out by this?" Yoongi asked, and the boys looked at him. "I mean, he's seen us shirtless or naked a lot of times in the changing rooms. That's kind of creepy-"

"He's not into any of you, Yoongi. Don't flatter yourself." Jimin retorted, and Yoongi rose his eyebrow.

"Aren't you freaked out by this? You sleep in the same room as him- I mean, who knows-"

"Shut up! I've known for some time. And I don't care because I know he's my best friend. Don't be a dick," Jimin snapped, and then sighed. "And you know what? None of you are going to be assholes about this. It takes a lot of courage to do what he did- and none of you know what he's going through. So if you have any dumbass comments to make, keep it to yourself." "Park, we'll still keep our mouths shut. What about Mr. Homophobic who just ran after Jungkook?" Namjoon said, and Jimin frowned.

"What?" He asked, and then looked around and realized Taehyung was gone. Fuck.

///

Taehyung rushed out of the cafeteria, seeing Jungkook go out. He looked left and right, and cursed under his breath when he couldn't see Jungkook; didn't know where he went. Taehyung turned and saw Yugyeom rush out.

"What're you doing?" Yugyeom asked, and Taehyung breathed out.

"Yugyeom, I just- I need to see him. You won't understand-"

"No, I understand very well. You're a homophobic asshole who's one step away from making another mistake and hurting Jungkook. I'd advise you to not do anything, but you only listen to yourself, don't you, V?" Yugyeom said lowly, clearly angered.

Taehyung kept quiet, and Yugyeom tsked, and then ran towards the dormitories, expecting Jungkook to be there.

But he wasn't. Taehyung knew where he was. He knew where Jungkook would be.

Taehyung rushed towards the staircase and went up three flights of stairs, feet carrying themselves with purpose. Taehyung reached the 4th floor and heard his footsteps grow louder on the marble flooring as he ran down it, trying to find the last door on the floor.

And then he found it and took a deep breath. The art room. Taehyung reached for the door, but just keeping his hand on the door handle gave him memories.

"-it's not like I asked Miss Chu to give me extra time- she just did! But all the other art students think she's favoring me over them. And so what if she is? It's obviously because I care about the subject so much. Frankly, if they did as much work as I did, maybe-"

Jungkook's words were cut off when Taehyung suddenly picked him up and placed him onto the table, slotting himself between Jungkook's thighs and placing one finger on his lips.

Jungkook's eyes were widened, and the sunlight pouring through windows cast honey-like swirls in his doey eyes, skin looking softer in contrast with his pink lips. Taehyung couldn't help but smile.

"You're so pretty," Taehyung whispered, and Jungkook's cheeks turned bright pink.

"O-oh-" Jungkook squeaked, and then put his hand around Taehyung's. "V- you-"

Taehyung gave him a look, and Jungkook bit his lip. "Sorry, I meant to say Taehyung."

"Hm. Good." Taehyung said softly, and then reached up and pressed their lips together. His hands moved to Jungkook's waist and stealthily moved up his shirt, feeling his soft skin.

Jungkook shivered at the touch of his cold hands and wrapped his legs around Taehyung's waist, his hands grabbing Taehyung's collar. Jungkook pulled away, breathless. "When do you think this will end? This thing between us?"

"Hopefully never," Taehyung said breathily, and kissed Jungkook's chin, looking up at the boy who put his fingers through Taehyung's silver hair.

Taehyung pulled away and Jungkook reached down, pressing his forehead against Taehyung's. "I hope this thing between us never ends either,"

Taehyung smiled, and Jungkook blinked his big eyes, giving him a shy butterfly kiss. Taehyung returned it willfully, and both felt at peace. They were the only ones that mattered at that moment in time.

Taehyung opened the door, and his breath hitched when he saw Jungkook standing with his back facing the door, looking outside the windows.

Before Taehyung could speak, Jungkook did. "W-why did you come here?"

Taehyung gulped. Of course, Jungkook knew it was him, of course. "I-I think we should talk-"

Jungkook turned around, and Taehyung's face crumpled at the tears stuck to the lashes in his eyes, the path they wove down his cheeks. Jungkook saw Taehyung's shoulders fall.

"Don't cry. Please-" Taehyung said, walking forward. "What you did in the cafeteria? That was- that was really brave, Jungkook. Don't cry-" Taehyung tried, reaching for Jungkook's arm.

Jungkook pulled his arm back. He looked enraged. "Don't touch me!" Jungkook snapped and then moved back until his back hit the counters.

Taehyung looked down. "Y-you're such an asshole, Kim T-Taehyung. I'm sure you're t-told that often," Jungkook let out, voice breaking in the end. Taehyung gulped. "Y-you just- h-hurt people and use them for your- your own gain. T-that's all you ever do!" Jungkook said, voice hoarse.

"Kookie," Taehyung said weakly, and Jungkook shook his head, tears forming in his eyes. "I'm sorry, I-I'm so sorry. I didn't know I was hurting you-" Taehyung said softly, moving closer to Jungkook. "Yes you did-" Jungkook let out, voice small. "Y-you're hurt me countless times,"

Taehyung looked down at him, and then reached his hands up, wiping Jungkook's tears. Jungkook tried moving away, but Taehyung grabbed him and wrapped his arms around him. "I-I'm sorry-"

"Let me go," Jungkook squeaked out, and Taehyung's grip only grew stronger.

"We could still be. We could still be w-what we were- if-if all these people didn't come between us-"

"No one came in between us, Tae." Jungkook sniffled, and then pushed Taehyung back. "Only you did."

Taehyung's face showed his confusion, his guilt, it was eating him up from the inside. He shook his head. "N-no- I-"

"Why did you kiss me?" Jungkook asked, and Taehyung gulped dryly. "Tell me. W-why?"

Taehyung looked at him for a few seconds, and his eyes were nothing but a battlefield of emotions, a conflict he was having within himself causing utter liability to spark in his actions. "I-I don't know-"

"Of course you don't," Jungkook chuckled, looking away, gripping the table. "I-it's my fault. I was stupid. Stupid for doing anything with you in the first place. I should've known," Jungkook said, and then looked at Taehyung. There was a small pause;

"You're V." Jungkook said, voice drained, weak from gasping onto any kind of disillusion he'd been dreaming of for the past weeks- when the simple truth is, none of it was ever real. "You're the captain of the football team, the hottest guy in our grade, the biggest player in our school," Jungkook said, a small smile on his face that wasn't mirthful in any way.

"You treat people like shit and break everyone down," Jungkook let out. "It's who you are. It can't be helped,"

Taehyung's stomach turned at his words, and he could do nothing but stand there, frozen in shock by the words that came out of his mouth, the truth they held.

"I didn't know-" Taehyung said, knowing exactly how stupid he sounded. How weak, how feeble. "I d-didn't know I was hurting y-you-"

"How?!" Jungkook snapped, voice rising. "W-we spent two months together, V! You called me baby, told me I was beautiful, rose me up till the sky and then suddenly-" Jungkook started, voice strained. "Dropped me out of nowhere and expected me to start walking again like everything was fine!"

"It wasn't! Y-you told me we should end things, I-I understood. But then I began hanging around a guy and you can't even control yourself? Especially when you've been with 10 girls every day- I mean, what the fuck do you want, V? Why do you want everything to yourself and expect to give nothing in return?" Jungkook shouted, tears in his eyes. "How- w-why did you think you weren't hurting me?!"

Taehyung was still, and Jungkook saw tears prickling his eyes. Taehyung looked down, wiping them as quickly as he could. "B-because I-" Taehyung started, voice raspy. "I-I don't know, J-Jungkook. I j-just- I don't k-know what's going on," Taehyung said weakly, looking up at him. "There's so much in my head- I-I can't piece it together-"

"Why did you a-ask Eka out?" Jungkook asked, a silence taking over the room.

Taehyung looked at the floor. He gulped. "I like her," Taehyung said, and Jungkook felt his heart miserably clutch itself. Jungkook looked away this time, trying his hardest not to tremble. "A-all I can think about is- is her. She's the only thing on my mind- the only thing that's getting me through these sleepless nights- and- and I-I had to do something about it. It was taking over me. I-I couldn't let it get out of hand,"

Jungkook didn't hear the words, just let them filter through his ears. "Great," Jungkook said, fingers pressing into his palm. "T-that's great. I'm happy for you."

"Jungkook I'm sorry. I'm sorry it had to end this way. Maybe in another world- in- in another world we could've-"

"No, we couldn't have," Jungkook said, and then looked up at him, and it was more than evident that he was trying not to cry. "You and me- we just weren't meant to be, Tae," Jungkook said, giving a weak shrug, trying to pretend this wasn't killing him from the inside. "But it's fine," Jungkook said, and then smiled a little. "It's not like there were any feelings involved in the first place."

"Yeah," Taehyung said, and Jungkook moved forward, smiling.

"I hope we can be friends."

Taehyung nodded. Jungkook nodded curtly and reached past him to grab the door and as quickly as he could, he walked out, closing the door behind him and letting out a deep breath, tears blurring his eyes until he couldn't see.

He never meant a thing to Taehyung, but Taehyung meant the whole world to him. That was the sad reality of it all, something Jungkook would have to live with. Some things just aren't meant to be, even if it could be perfect.

///

Winter holidays began the very next day.

A month passed away with a click of fingers. Jungkook didn't go home, his parents were far too busy with functions to attend to. Jungkook went to Jimin's house.

On Christmas, the two attempted on making a gingerbread house which failed in an instant ended with both of them eating icing while playing video games. On 30th December, Jungkook was helping Jimin set up decorations at his house for a party he was having.

"It's V's birthday," Jimin said, and Jungkook felt his heart twitch at the mention of his name.

"I don't care."

"Just message him, Kook. You're 'friends', right?" Jimin snickered, and Jungkook rolled his eyes. "Whatever, I guess so," Jungkook mumbled, taking his phone out.

Jungkook Happy birthday

V thanks

V how's your holidays going?

Jungkook good lol me and jimin are setting up decorations

V ugh lucky im stuck with my broing dad who keeps going to play boring golf with his boring friends

Jungkook giggled to himself, and Jimin watched as Jungkook leaned against the wall, texting properly.

Jungkook lol jimins dad lets us drive his car its lots of fun

V i drive my dads car too

V except he doesnt let me, yknow, bc he hates me, but its still fun

Jungkook laughed at that, biting his lip.

Jungkook awww HAHAHA

Jungkook how are things with eka

V good i think

Jungkook well jimins been flirting with his neighbour every day since holidays started im getting sick

V awww let the poor boy find some love

Jungkook it sucks but the neighbour has a cute older gay brother so yay for me i guess

V oh

V cool

Jungkook yeah

"Okay jeez, I meant just text him one thing, not having a whole ass conversation-" Jimin snapped, but Jungkook sat down on the sofa and flopped onto his stomach, texting him more.

Jimin rolled his eyes, but for the rest of the day, Jungkook kept texting him. Rest of the day turned into the rest of the week, which turned into every day until school reopened.

They texted about nonsensical stuff, just complete bullshit- like the kind they used to discuss when they were... together. Every day. Taehyung would message him in the morning and they'd keep at it till nighttime, where he'd message him goodnight. Jungkook wouldn't lie and say it didn't send his heart into a routine of fast-paced palpitations.

On the train ride back to school, Jungkook looked solemn. "I-I guess I'm just happy we're friends again, you know?"

"Be careful, Kookie," Jimin said while eating a cookie.

"Be careful? About what? We're just texting, Jimin." Jungkook said.

"Yeah, but you text him till 3 am at night, and I see you blush every time your phone dings. You're clearly not over him, dude. No offense." Jimin said, and Jungkook rolled his eyes.

"That's- that's bullshit. I am totally over him. I've never been more over someone. I'm sooo over him." Jungkook said, and then his phone dinged, and his heart jumped up to his throat and he picked it up quickly.

Jungkook sighed. It was a stupid text by his mom or whatever. Who cares. Jungkook groaned a little, but then widened his eyes.

The heart-jumping. The sighing. The groaning. "Oh god-" Jungkook said, and then looked up at Jimin. "I-I don't think I'm over him!"

"I know!" Jimin snapped, and Jungkook covered his hands with his face, hearing Jimin call him a dumbass.

They reached school, and Jungkook dragged his suitcase through the campus, walking towards the dormitories. He saw friends hugging, couples kissing again, and people laughing in groups, having met after so long. Jungkook looked around and felt his heartbeat increase when he saw Taehyung.

He was standing by the entrance of the dormitories, and Jungkook almost rushed up to him, his stomach afloat. Jungkook saw his grey hair, probably re-dyed, and thick bandana, and smiled. "V!" Jungkook called, and the boy looked at him. "Hi!"

Taehyung blinked a few times. "Hey." He said flatly and then looked at his phone again.

Jungkook smiled. "How was the ride here? You texted me saying it was-"

"Nice seeing you," Taehyung said emotionlessly, and then walked past him, shoulders brushing as he did. Jungkook stilled, and then turned and saw Taehyung rush up to Eka. Jungkook saw him grab her by the waist and kiss her quite hard.

Jungkook felt his shoulders drop, insides contorting inside out. He looked to the side and saw Jimin, who gave him a tight-lipped smile. Jungkook gulped.

"I would say something to make you feel better, but honestly, you're just being a dumbass," Jimin said, and then hit Jungkook on the head.

"Get over him!" Jimin snapped, and Jungkook pouted.

"It's hard!" Jungkook mumbled, and then kicked Jimin lightly. "W-why'd he text me the whole time if he was planning on ignoring me in school?"

"Has V ever been understandable?" Jimin asked, and Jungkook looked away. "Exactly. So let's get to our room. Think about him once more, and I'll beat your ass."

Jungkook nodded and followed Jimin inside the dormitories. He couldn't help but turn around, seeing Taehyung smiling at something Eka said, laughing fondly and kissing her forehead. She wrapped her arms around his neck, whispering something into his ear.

Jungkook felt his heart weaken. Why, why did he do this to himself? Jungkook turned back around, following Jimin in.

Stupid Taehyung.

https://jeontaeh.tumblr.com/post/647264275094798336/twenty-six

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

Okay...weird shit happejed to you throuout yojr life, but has anything happened on Halloween specifically (other than you selling your soul to a demon)

Alright, it’s time for the requested and promised Ouija Board Story™

Listen, before I start this I wanna put a REALLY STRONG trigger warning on it- I really, truly recommend you not read this if you’ve been affected by suicide or get very easily freaked out by thoughts of death and the afterlife. I am not fucking kidding around here, okay? Someone in my family killed themselves over the summer and I’ve been trying so hard to not think about this whole event, because it’s terrifying to imagine anyone I know in this situation. Really think about it before you keep reading, okay? While this is an interesting and cool story I’m posting for Halloween, I don’t wanna get anyone too freaked out. If you think this is gonna mess with you or sit with you, just keep scrolling. 

This happened in 2015. My friend Zoe (@commando-rogers) decided to have some friends over for Halloween, because like, who doesn’t want plans on Halloween, right? Also there was Alexa (@starshiprangpr), Patricia (@trishaslats), Liz, and Ian (I don’t know if they have accounts if they do I’ll add them later). I’ve known these guys for years, so it was sure to be a fun night. 

Now, like. I’m bored with life. I’m freshly 20 years old. It’s Halloween. I’m dressed like Mabel Pines. I’m ready to fucking party. And we did have, you know, regular, normal fun at first- ate junk food, joked around, stuff like that. Average hangout. But then, a few hours into the night…Zoe pulls out a fucking Ouija Board. 

I’m immediately on the other side of the room, tbh. I’m very interested in paranormal stuff, and I was raised Catholic, and I’m also not a dumbass, so I know not to fuck around with Ouija Boards. You just don’t use them, ever! It’s never a good idea! Even if nothing talks to you through it, you’re still opening yourself up for something to happen. But I also knew this was five against one, so I didn’t stand much of a chance complaining. I conceded to watching whatever happens from a safe distance on the couch and not actually touching the board. Lord knows, I insisted, with my luck? Touching the board will get my ass possessed. 

The girls seemed to somewhat agree with me on that- Ian was the only person who agreed to use the board with Zoe. Ian’s a very smart, logical guy, you know, like the token genius asshole friend that you love to death even if he gets a little condescending occasionally? Love the guy. But he was pretty sure it was all bs and nothing would happen, versus Zoe’s deep belief in the paranormal, so they made a bit of a weird pair working the board. I remember texting my friend Raychel about what was about to happen, and getting the response “YOU MOTHER FUCKING WHITE PEOPLE FIT ALL THE HORROR MOVIE ARCHTYPES GET YOUR BULLSHIT TOGETHER AND DONT DO THIS”. And I agreed with her, honestly, but I did actually have a strong curiosity to see if anything would happen. Zoe had told me all about her trying to use the board by herself before (bad!!! idea!!!)- she said she never got any words out of the board, but her camera or phone or whatever she was trying to film the session with would always malfunction or die unexpectedly. No one expected what happened though. 

Now, before I really start, I wanna say- could this have all been an elaborate hoax by Ian or Zoe? Sure. Absolutely. Believe that if you want- but Zoe was so freaked out and even got all shook when we were going over details the other day, and Ian seemed really rocked, and honestly I can’t think of anything they’d get out of keeping up a ruse on it for two years now, especially when people they’re good friends with were literally crying during this mess, so…I really don’t think this was fake. Like, I want to believe it was fake. As I mentioned in the trigger warning, this has really stuck with me and been bugging me as of late, so if one of them suddenly fessed up that it was a prank? I would fucking jump for joy! But it doesn’t look like that’s the case (otherwise, they’re just, you know, dicks by this point). So, anyway, whether you believe it or not, just know that I am absolutely not lying about anything that happened in this story. I’m recounting everything truthfully. 

Okay, so…Ouija Boards have rules, you know? You have to be polite, say hello and goodbye even if nothing speaks to you, you have to keep at least two fingers on the planchette and ‘charge’ the piece, I’m not going over all the guidelines right now. And also, when a living person is manipulating the planchette…Like, you can tell. You can feel it. Zoe and Ian charged the piece, we all said hello, and we waited in silence. 

Zoe asked ‘Is there anybody here?’

Nothing happened for a long moment, but then…the planchette slowly started sliding towards ‘YES’. 

Ian was trying to look like his eyes weren’t wide, and going ‘Zoe! Zoe are you moving it!’ but Zoe was already having a mild freak out, her voice higher then normal and repeating ‘Holy shit holy shit holy shit!’ (like I said…she’s a deep believer in the paranormal). 

When it finally landed on yes, she took a deep breath and tried to seem a bit, I guess, politer. “Um, okay, hi, I’m Zoe? This is Ian and our other friends. What’s your name?”

…K…E…V…I…N.

Patricia made some joke about the name but got shushed. 

“Are you…usually in my house?”

‘NO’.

“Are you…here for someone?”

‘YES’.

We’ve only been at this for a few minutes and there was already that feeling in the air- you know, the one that gets over described every time anyone recounts a paranormal experience? Just a heavy feeling in the air, a twisted feeling in your gut, the feeling that someone is right behind you. Tension was building even though nothing had really happened to warrant it yet. 

“Who are you here for, Kevin?”

The planchette starts to slide towards the ‘I’. Cue to five girls yelling “IAN” in high pitched, worried (and some teasing) voices as the boy in question’s eyes are flying out of his head. 

It spells out the rest of his name. Zoe asks, “Is there anything you want to say to Ian?”

…H…E…L…L…O.

Me, an asshole who needed to cut some tension before she got sick: “Hello from the other side~~~~~~”.

Pillows were thrown at me.

The board respelled ‘Hello’. 

I will literally never forget the awkward forced smile on Ian’s face, or the raised eyebrows, or the way his confused voice cracked when he said, “…Hi, Kevin?” 

…H…I.

“How do you know Ian?”

…F…R…I…E…N…D…S.

Ian looked at is, giving an insistent whisper of “I don’t know any dead Kevins!”

That had us all stumped for a few moments, before “Do you think maybe like, past lives?”

Zoe asked Kevin if that was right. The planchette flew to the ‘YES’. 

“So Ian was your friend in his past life then? Who was he?”

…E…V…A…N.

“Evan! So how did Evan die?”

…C…A…R.

“Oh. Were you, like…with him?”

‘NO’.

“How did you die then?”

Nothing happened for a few minutes, the piece didn’t move an inch. They recharged it and Zoe tried again. “Was that a rude question? Do you not want to talk about that?”

‘YES’.

“I’m so sorry, we’re not trying to be rude.”

…F…I…N…E.

We started brainstorming for better questions (Zoe or Ian had to be the ones to formally ask, though). 

“Where were you from?”

…O…H…I…O.

“And what year did Ian die?”

(I’m going to admit here that I can’t remember the exact year, it was definitely around the 1920′s or 30′s, though. We all thought it was a bit odd that the death year wasn’t exactly close to Ian’s birth year)

“What year did you die?”

He spelled out the same year. 

“Oh? Um…how long after Evan did you die?”

A long pause, and then: …W…E…E…K. 

“But you didn’t reincarnate like Ian?”

‘NO’. 

“Why not?”

The board fell silent again. They recharged. “Sorry. Um…Why did you decide to find Ian in his current life?”

…B…E…S…T…F…R…I…E…N…D. 

Before we could all start flat out cooing at that, it kept going, spelling out ‘…S…A…F…E.’

“Oh, so you’re his guardian angel?”

…C…L…O…S…E. 

“Close?”

No response. “Okay…How did you know Ian was Evan?”

…H…I…S…E…Y…E…S. 

(cue everyone going ‘awwwww’) “You have the same eyes when you reincarnate?”

‘YES’. 

“So…what were you doing before Ian was born?”

It fell silent again. 

“Kevin? We’re sorry?”

…F…I…N…E. 

“What did you mean by ‘close’ to a guardian angel? Are you not an angel?”

‘NO’.

“So…what are you, then?”

…S…T…O…P.

“Okay, sorry. Um…Is anyone else here with you?”

…Y…E…S.

“Who’s here with you?”

…D…E…A…T…H.

DEATH.

WHEN I TELL YOU WE SCREAMED. No one was Goddamn prepared for an answer like that! We’re just a bunch of asshole teens! None of us actually wanna die! What the fuck!!!! 

While we were all busy freaking out and trying to rationalize, Zoe managed to choke out a “Is…Death here for someone in this room?!”

‘NO’. 

“Is Death going to effect someone in this room?”

‘NO’. 

That got us to all calm down slightly, but….We were literally just told DEATH IS AMONG US. We were still freaking out, and were trying to figure out what Kevin meant by that. After a while though, something clicked. 

“Kevin? Does Death just have to be with you in order for you to talk to us?”

‘YES’.

THIS.

THIS LITERAL GODDAMN GHOST GOT PISSED OFF AT US.

AND SAW THE OPPORTUNITY TO FUCKING TROLL A BUNCH OF SHITTY TEENS. 

AND HE GODDAMN TOOK IT.

I HAVE NEVER RESPECTED A MAN MORE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE. I STILL CANNOT GET OVER THIS. Eternal hats off to you, Kevin, oh my God.

We all slowly recovered from that scare, a little more wary about pissing Kevin off but also…more curious, because there was a lot to ask and a lot he seemed to want to hide. 

“Um…so is Heaven and all that real?”

A very, very long pause. Zoe and Ian almost went to recharge and try a new question, but then it slowly slide over to ‘YES’. 

The pause seemed to make it clear it wasn’t something he really wanted to go into. But, “So…what’s Heaven like?”

A long pause. …D…R…E…A…M.

“…And…is hell real?”

The planchette immediately flew around the board, spelling: …N…I…G…H…T…M…A…R…E.

None of us really knew what to say about that. 

We asked a few more questions, but Kevin still didn’t want to talk about himself that much. He liked talking about Evan, though (After this night, we had a running joke for a little bit about ‘cant believe we’re shipping Ian with a ghost’. There were some ‘implications’ I remember we all picked up on) But he still avoided questions pertaining to him. Zoe had a very worried look on her face around this point. She had been very curious about Kevin’s unwillingness to talk about certain topics, and things were slowly piecing together in her mind. She tried once more to get answers. “Kevin, I’m really sorry for asking, but I just- Um, I’m sorry, but did you kill yourself?”

There was a bright flash in the room. 

That made everyone jump and look around- we had caught it in the window, but we couldn’t see anyone outside or around the house. Zoe’s parents and brother were upstairs. We couldn’t find anything that would have caused it. It was just a flash, but we were completely alone and with the timing of the question…Well, everyone was unsettled about it. 

We eventually settled back down and recharged the board. “Kevin?…Did you?”

Slowly, it slid towards the ‘YES’. 

“…Because Evan died?”

‘YES’.

“And…that meant you couldn’t be reborn?”

‘YES’. 

“So…what happened?”

It stayed still. 

I had a very sick, sinking feeling in my stomach at this- I’d gone to Catholic school for 9 years, and I knew suicide is classified as a sin. In the more modern times the Church stopped being awful about it, always prayed for suicide victims and didn’t deny them burials anymore and always told the families the same spiel about being in God’s hands, but…It was still considered a mortal sin none the less. I told the group as much. 

Zoe said in a small voice “Were you…in hell?”

A long pause. ‘YES’. 

Fuck.

“Um…for how long?”

…F…O…R…E…V…E…R.

“That’s why you’re not a guardian angel then? Because you were in hell?”

…D…E…M…O…N.

“How did you…get out to find Ian?”

…L…I…L…I…T…H.

We’d all been on edge with the turn of the conversation, but that. Fuck. I nearly lost it at that. Zoe and the other’s asked who Lilith was, because she’s not common curriculum, but, well, short story answer- She was created before Eve, but she didn’t want to submit to Adam, so she was tortured to give birth to a dead child every day, but other accounts and stories of her do go on to say she became a lead torturer/essentially queen of hell. Fucking. 

“Lilith let you out of hell?”

…Y…E…S.

“Why? Like what for?”

…I…D…O…N…O…T…K…N…O…W.

“You don’t….You have no idea why they let you out?”

‘NO’. 

“So you found Ian and became his…Guardian demon? Is that a thing?”

…Y…E…S.

“Does everyone have one?”

…Y…E…S. 

“Do I have an angel or a demon?”

…D…E…M…O…N.

Zoe, even though she’d been talking to a seemingly reasonable demon all night, looked a little worried about that. Back then we had a running joke in our friend group that Zoe was Satan, and well “Um, do I have a demon because of all the jokes I make?”

…Y…E…S.

“Um??? I’m sorry? Fuck.” 

We were all a little #shook but trying not to laugh at the look on her face at that. She went on to check with Kevin that having a demon instead of an angel didn’t actually mean anything bad, she wasn’t in like, undead trouble or anything, the only difference is the demons are usually working off a debt or something versus the angels not…But when Zoe and I were going over this the other day, she did suddenly realize that she hasn’t made a single Satan joke since this night and she’d ‘feel weird if one was made now’. Make of that what you will. 

He said me and the other girls all had Angels (Shoutout to you, Sarah! I’m still kicking at 22!).

Patricia, however, wanted some proof that ‘Helena’ existed and was there for her. Which is reasonable. She asked if her angel wanted to tell her anything. There was a brief pause before the planchette spelled out: …E…R…I…K…I…S…G…O…O…D. 

We were y e l l i n g. Listen, I know that’s clearly not going to be convincing evidence to a bunch of random people reading this, but basically Erik had been dating her best friend at the time and she was just…Very worried about the relationship. Very worried. For many reasons.‘Erik is good’ is exactly the thing she needed to hear from a guardian angel. (And, spoiler alert from two years in the future: he IS good!) But like. She teared up hearing that. It was nice. 

We tried to stray into lighter topics than the whole hell thing, because, again, fuck- I remember thinking to myself at some point ‘this poor guy is after-living the plot to a really great book’- but none of us wanted to upset him again and none of us wanted to get anymore upset ourselves. Liz had already had a panic attack by this point (the hell talk obviously got to her), and she was actively trying not to sob as she asked if she could speak to any passed on family members. We were told pretty much everyone gets reborn and there was no one else around except for Kevin and the other guardians (and good ole’ Death, of course). 

Ian’s got a big birthmark on his face, right? It’s adorable and we often made a lot of jokes about it (fondly), so at some point, while trying to stay on lighter topics, someone asked ‘Did Ian have that birthmark in his past life?‘

…S…C…A…R.

Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever heard about that theory that birthmarks have to do with how you died in a past life, but….shook. We all started trying to figure out if we had any meaningful birthmarks. Zoe got further freaked out because she has one on her wrist and one on her temple. What the fuck did she theoretically get up to in a past life?

That was the last really substantial thing he gave us, all the other questions tapered off so we could try to pretend we hadn’t learned we were talking to a demon who went to hell for no seemingly good reason and also no one would be able to talk to dead loved ones. After we finally came to a loss for questions, and people started having to leave- we just did the proper ‘goodbye’ and everything, followed all the rules, put the board away and split up. Liz was still drying her eyes when she left. Ian was mumbling to himself and swearing up and down he didn’t fake all that.  Zoe was frantically researching the information we received and kept repeating that that was the craziest fucking thing that ever happened to her (and she actually did find some thread about guardian demons). We talked about it for a bit before I went home. 

And, it’s like…Again, this could be nothing. But it doesn’t feel like nothing. It feels like a shifted view because…Even if it’s not real, it’s still an outlook on the afterlife that I had never considered before, and it’s…horrifying? This whole night I’ve just never been able to shake, I can’t get it out of my head, because if it is true? Fuck. If it’s true, fuck. The whole drive home I couldn’t help but think ‘ignorance is bliss’. 

It just left me with so many questions, questions I literally don’t think you can get the answers to until it’s too late, and…I don’t know what to do about that. 

[scribblesandimaginings]

Yondu Udonta x Reader

Yondu fic where reader is part of his crew and he gets jealous because some guy at a bar gets a little handsy. Complete with threatening and heartfelt confessions? Please - crazybunny02-blog

Warnings for language, alcohol consumption, douche bag at bar, some name calling, and a slight suggestion of smut

-----

You grinned to yourself as the Eclector touched down on Contraxia. It had been far too long since you’d gotten off the ship for a while, and even though this particular place was a dump, it would be better than staying another moment on the over crowded ship.

You tugged on the front of you long coat, pulling it a little tighter around your shoulders as you walked down the ramp to the planet, just behind Yondu and Kraglin. Yondu had a soft spot for you, everyone knew that - it was probably the reason you had such a high rank amongst the Ravagers, but no-one dared to question that. You had never noticed though - you were good at your job, logical, attentive, you were skilled and had been well respected even before joining the Ravagers. Yondu may have been soft for you, but you deserved your position.

You didn’t mind Yondu, not in the slightest. You would be tempted to say you were friends. His honest bluntness made you trust him and big-headedness made you laugh, his skill with his yaka arrow seriously impressed you, and you’d always appreciated his odd charm.

As soon as you entered the building in front of you, you started to head for the bar, “Where you off to so quick w’out me?” Yondu teased.

“To get a drink” you called over the cacophony of voices, “and a break from you and the boys”

He clapped his hand over his heart, “Darlin’ you wound me”

You laughed, shaking your head, “Don’t wait up” you called, waving to him as you walked away, slipping into a space at the bar, signaling the bar tender.

Yondu got a seat in a booth facing onto the bar, directly in line with where you’d decided to sit. He sent Kraglin off to get drinks and just watched on. The rest of the crew had dispersed into the crowd, already drinking, gambling, flirting and enjoying themselves, while you were looking for a little peace and quiet in the noisy establishment. Truth be told there were very few of the Ravagers you really got on with, aside from the captain. They were generally witless, childish or rude, if not a combination of the three, and though there were a few that were exempt, they would rather go off and find some company for the night. You liked a little solitude from time to time. Yondu knew that too, and it was the primary reason he’d left you to yourself.

The night wore on, you talked crap with a few girls at the bar, shot down some idiots who didn’t know what they were getting themselves into, and abruptly intercepted what was going to be a pretty brutal bar fight. None of that was anything new, of course - it was the usual lot that was handed to you every time the ship touched down.

The guy who was talking to you now was dull, used the same old recycled lines, made the same cringey jokes and pulled old, worn out moves like every other guy would. He wasn’t being overly creepy, or threatening, and you couldn’t say you didn’t enjoy the compliments, but you knew you’d turn him down soon, if he still hadn’t realised he didn’t stand a chance.

He ordered you both another drink and as he swallowed his down enthusiastically, it was as if he’d taken brave pills. Another shitty line was said, too loudly in your ear, and his hand travelled up your thigh with very clear intentions. You slapped his hand with a scowl, getting ready to walk away, but his other hand gripped at your waist, pulling you to him as he said, “Now don’t be like that”

You caught the briefest flash of blue out the corner of your eye before the asshole was punched in the face, knocking him off his chair. You stared wide eyed for a moment in surprise as he stumbled a few steps, his hand covering his very broken nose. “Damn” you muttered to yourself.

You looked round to see Yondu standing over you, his face like thunder, he shouted at the guy as he stood straight again, “You touch ‘er again an’ see wha’ ‘appens!”

You stood, your hand on his arm, “I’m fine, it’s fine - I was dealing with it, don’t start anything”

But he wasn’t listening to you, the other guy had spat some threat and was making stupid, vile remarks, the most you caught was him saying something to Yondu about ‘his bitch’ before calling you a slut.

“Don’t” you warmed Yondu, but it didn’t matter.

The yaka arrow was instantly at the other man’s throat as Yondu threatened, “You talk about ‘er like tha’ again an’ you’ll regret it boy!” His eyes were glowing red. If you hadn’t been standing between them you weren’t sure what they’d have done, “I’ll kill you!”

You clenched your jaw, irritated. You plucked the arrow out of the air, Yondu relinquishing his control of it as you did, staring at you as you said “Let’s go”

He shook his head, “I’m gonna kill that boy for touching you”

You frowned, but you didn’t have time to ask him what he was talking about - you either seperated them and defused the situation, or Yondu was going to start the biggest freaking bar fight anyone here had ever seen. You steeled yourself, “We’re going outside, now”

“He deserves-”

“Yeah, I know. Outside. Now” 

Yondu glared at the other man before storming outside, you right behind him. He kept walking until you were both too far any way for anyone to hear. You were nearly back at the ship when he stopped.

“The Hell was that?” you asked, annoyed. He didn’t answer, didn’t even turn to look at you, “Captain? …Yondu?”

You heard footsteps behind you and you worried that the guy had come after you looking for a real fight. You turned, but were relieved to find it was only Kraglin, “What happened?”

You sighed, “Go back inside”

He frowned, looking from you to Yondu, “Captain, what-”

“Didn’t you hear ‘er? She said go back inside, now get” he snapped.

Kraglin hesitated but turned and headed back inside. You looked back to Yondu, and the pair of you locked eyes for a moment, until he looked away. You waited until Kraglin was out of sight before asking again, softer, “What the Hell was that about?”

“He was a asshole”

“I know that - I was about to deal with him myself before you jumped in. I can look after myself, you know that, right?”

“o‘ course you can look after yourself, wouldn’ be on the ship if you couldn’” he grumbled, looking away.

“Then what was that all about? I don’t ever see you jumping up to help any of the rest of the crew, whether they need it or not” you stood your ground, folding your arms, your grip still tight on the arrow.

He let out a low growl locking eyes with you again and stepping forward until he was practically looming over you, “Ain’t nobody gets to touch you like tha’”

You uncrossed your arms, “And who do you think you are to decide that for me?”

“I’m your captain”

“Oh yeah? You don’t see Quill doing that”

He gritted his teeth, fuming for a second before walking away a few steps, “You rather go off w’ him? That whatcha want? Leave me for the Terran boy?”

“No” you said emphatically, watching him. You shook your head, groaned, “God, why are you acting like a jealous idiot?”

He turned back sharply, “I ain’t jealous” he snapped, too quick. He was avoiding looking you in the eye.

You stared, surprised, “… you’re jealous…?”

“Just told you i ain’t. Weren’t you listenin’“ he huffed.

“I know when you’re lying, Yondu.” you frowned, “What the Hell have you got to be jealous of?” you asked incredulously, not understanding. From the way he looked at you, you felt like you’d missed something pretty obvious. “What? You worried I’m going just take off with another crew? And you’re going to have to find someone to take my place? Is that it? I’m loyal” you insisted.

He ran his hand over his face in despair, “I know tha’” he sighed deeply, having realised you weren’t going to give this up.

You groaned. You marched up to him, standing right in front of him you demanded, “Then will you tell me what your damn problem is then-”

His lips crashed into yours with bruising force. A hand tangled in your hair, guiding you roughly as an arm wrapped round your back, crushing you against his chest. You dropped the arrow in shock.

There was nothing gentle about the kiss you shared. You grabbed hold of the back of his neck, pulling him down to you. The nails of your other hand dug into his arm as you clung on. The hand on your back moved to your side, holding you with such force you knew there would be bruises tomorrow.

Eventually your lips parted. Your chest heaved as you gasped in air, “Damn” you breathed.

“Ain’t nobody gets to touch you like tha’, ‘cept me” Yondu growled.

“Could of fucking said” you gazed up at him, still half in shock.

“I’ll say it now then” he taunted, all the anger and frustration of before gone, replaced with a protective, possessiveness, “Ain’t nobody touch you but me. Ain’t nobody ever gonna speak about you like tha’ again. Wherever you go I’m comin’ w’ you, to look out for you - as long as you want me to. But you ain’t ever gonna have some asshole bastard comin’ on to you again. You’re mine, an’ mine alone. An’ everybody’s gonna know it”

You laughed to yourself, happily, “Talk about a damn power couple”

Yondu kissed you again, considerably more gently this time. His large hand cupped your cheek, his fingers reaching round your neck to carefully tug you towards him. His other hand gently massaged your side where he’d grabbed you tightly before. Being held in his arms, you had never thought that anything could feel so right.

He rested his forehead against yours, “You wantin’ another drink? Or can I escort you to my quarters?”

You laughed, “Well I’m not going back to that bar”

“My place it is” he grinned his toothy grin. Without warning, he’d scooped you up in his arms, and started carrying you back to the ship. 

You’d laughed a little before looping your arms round his neck, “Remember the arrow” the ridge on top of his head glowed red, and with a short whistle, the arrow returned itself to it’s holder on Yondu’s belt. You smirked, “You know, that’s actually really impressive - you better keep me impressed”

“You gonna be good for me?” he teased.

“We’ll have see about that”

“Damn girl, better behave yourself”

“Or what? You’ll eat me?”

“Don’t gimme ideas”

[fahrminbrahmin]

ED Questions: nobody asked for this but im bored lmao

1. which eating disorder(s) do you have? 

tbh nobody has said a specific name to me drs just say either ‘eating issues’ or ‘eating disorder’ so ednos?


2. when did you develop your eating disorder?

this is hard to answer bc looking back ive shown signs since ~early teenage years but ive been fully aware of it for about 2-2.5 years


3. are you currently in recovery?

im in therapy, its bought up every other session but i tend to avoid mentioning it so yes and no


4. honestly, do you want to recover?

again, yes and no. I often h a t e feeling like this but?? the pros out way the cons at this point


5. how are you doing today?

unhealthily? great! lol i hit my next gw this week and p much all my cals have been from alcohol lmao healthily? p bad ive only eaten a cruskit and some lettuce & im kinda depressed these past days but hey! idc


6. 5 safe foods?

lettuce! so much lettuce i can easily go through a head a day. honestly, its the only thing i can eat without feeling any semblance of guilt.


7. 5 fear foods?

tbqh, its such a long list everything p much. at the height of my fear of food i saw the word protein and freaked the F out so protein


8. do you count calories?

yeah but im really good at lying to myself about how many calories ive actually eaten lmao


9. what is your max calorie limit?

i say 550, but anything over 250 makes me feel like utter shit but then again, anything makes me feel shit lol


10. what is your height?

5′3″ / 161cm 


11. what is your ultimate goal weight?

it was 49.5kg! but i hit that so its 48.7kg atm itll go down again tho


12. are you trying to lose weight?

absolutely yes


13. have you ever been called “fat”?

honestly i cant even remember if i have or not


14. have you ever been called “too thin”?

ive been called ‘small��� but not too thin. the dream tbh


15. what is your current goal weight?

48.7kgs


16. what was your highest weight?

when i first started weighing myself regularly, 61kgs


17. what was your lowest weight?

49.1kgs


18. do you wish you were back at your lowest weight?

im there rn 


19. does your family know about your eating disorder?

yes, i dont talk to a lot of ppl and p much everyone knows


20. do your friends know about your eating disorder?

yeah, one of my best friends was actually the first person i told


21. do you wish you didn’t have an eating disorder?

yes and no, i hate feeling like this toward myself and food. but ive always hated myself so this is an improvement so its a really happy side effect


22. have any “free foods”?

lettuce!! lettuce lettuce lettuce. and tea


23. how often do you weigh yourself?

every day when i wake up. id say morning but i have a shit sleep schedule lol


24. thinspo or bonespo?

neither tbh im more of a i-have-an-ed-more-to-harm-myself-less-to-be-thin kinda gal


25. biggest problem area on your body?

my chubby chubby cheeks. the great irony is that my ed gave me chipmunk cheeks which hasnt helped any but  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 


26. favourite part of your body?

tbqh i like my waist. its not tiny but its p good imo


27. what kind of results do you want to see?

booooooones!!


28. do you purge?

:/ yeah


29. do you take laxatives?

yes but i have bowel problems anyway so its the constant struggle of do i take the reccomended amount or do i overdose lmao its always overdose


30. how often do you purge?

it goes in cycles, some weeks i purge every day, other weeks its could be 1-2 times a week.


31. do you binge?

by definition, no, but often times ill eat and say to myself its a binge


32. how long have you fasted for?

im SHIT at fasting, probably like 18-19 hours


33. who’s your biggest thinspiration?

hands around thighs really get me. also protruding rib cages thats the dream.


34. favourite eating disorder movie/show/documentary?

none! ive only seen maybe half an ed doc i cant get through one. But! I have a book of stories of girls w/ eds and there was one story about a white/polynesian girl with an ed with identity issues and she was l i t e r a l l y me i still have that book


35. favourite thinspo picture?

again, any pic of fingers touching around thighs. LUV it


36. can you post a photo of yourself/your body?

ive only posted 2 body checks lol, u can see them here


37. how does your eating disorder affect your life?

Im literally obsessed with food nd my body ive isolated myself from everyone/thing in my life and everything i do is a number i h8 it


38. what is your BMI?

currently, 19.1 
39. do you follow a diet?

yeah, as little calories as possible lmao


40. least favourite part about your eating disorder?

most if not all of it? its all i think about


41. has your eating disorder ruined any relationships?

yes? if we group my ed with all my other mental health problems, i isolate myself from everyone i havent seen one of my best friends in over a year so YA


42. do you have a ��guilty pleasure” food? what is it?

c h o c o l a t e. it is very much a guilty pleasure lool


43. meanspo or sweetspo?

not about the whole concept tbqh


44. does anyone else in your life have an eating disorder?

the saddest part, most women i know have expressed r admitted to doing some really shitty stuff to themselves in order to be thin


45. ever been inpatient? 
/ 46. ever been outpatient? / 47. ever been in residential care? / 48. ever been in a psych ward?

nah but ive been threatened with it


49. are you currently in therapy?

yeah, individual therapy and DBT


50. what did you eat today?

a cruskit, 1 gummy lolly, ~4 leaves of lettuce and 3 glasses of wine lmao


51. are you scared about the holidays?

yes bc ill make a pavlova and ofc im gonna eat it rip :/


52. are your family/friends supportive?

kind of, if im in a healthy mind set i know they care but dont really know how to go about it. but they let me do a lot of shitty things to myself


53. have any other mental illnesses?

’severe social anxiety’, emotional disregulation, depression, maybe avpd and/or bpd?


54. looking for ana buddies?

nopenopenope ill never encourage this


55. what is your current weight?

as of this morning: 49.1kgs