#know. at least irl I can't talk about my deeper feelings/knowledge without feeling guilty about it. I don't even know why I am now
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The amount of ideas I have that I'm too embarrassed by so I never post them. Sliving 🩷
#a lot of it I'm shoving into the book anyway bc I can't let this feeling of weirdly-placed guilt totally dictate what I think I'm “allowed”-#-to express but. I also keep all my thoughts and work into this book to myself for the majority of it bc I don't really have anyone to#talk to about it so this is. essentially still not helping me anyway#in due time and everything but man for a bitch who feels too much I never quite talk about anything I feel#I've had this sam and max idea for a while that I've never acted on bc I'm both embarrassed and then in turn sad about it sknfkwnf#sorry I'm getting all vulnerable and gooey I actually feel this way majority of the time but I stone wall it WAY more than I think people-#know. at least irl I can't talk about my deeper feelings/knowledge without feeling guilty about it. I don't even know why I am now#just putting it somewhere so I can depressurize I guess? yo no se#anyway posting something more meaningful tomorrow. it'll include some excerpts from the book so I hope it's enjoyed#on the 23rd will be another excerpt that I'm quite fond of - a little poetry and a little traditional writing#and then unless I can't wait to share something I probably won't post any art until next year. probably#I'm talking too much sorry I had more to say than I thought I did plus needed to alleviate some emotions. who will read this anyway#text#not art#I have a journal but thoughts like these feel easier to type/they don't feel like they belong in the journal? maybe I should anyway?#god knows I have more journals than I probably need but what can I say. I'm a collector (sucker) of pretty notebooks.
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