#know stuff along the way bcs yeah !!! yeah. <3 they have the biggest age gap between me w all my closest friends i consider closest or most
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uh. more rambles in tags because i reached 30 (oops!)
did you know i love my friends so much.
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#know stuff along the way bcs yeah !!! yeah. <3 they have the biggest age gap between me w all my closest friends i consider closest or most#special :O which is just 3 LMAO BUT YEAH#i'm really glad to have helped them get over smth that was holding them back a bit? it's interestinf. being younger and helping this guy!#not in a weird way at all too. it's nice having a nice friendship w someone a bit older!! just really glad to help esp bcs the lgbtq stuff#is smth that i really get compared to them and awh man that was just reallt nice fr#and... it's a lil weird bcs out of all friends theyre the one who gave us like. hm#TBF i dont like asking for stuff specifically bcs i want to yes and hells gift giving id my love language but#im. scared to! and really shy about that so i genuinely appreciate that guy sm for really being yk about that hey you can pick wha you want#mhm <3 !! and okay so yeah i really just. am glad w my social life this year tbh even if it is kinda really messy too#i also met someone who is just a lil older and is a ffxiv writer woa !!! out of all xiv friends theyre the ones i think i can talk to most#abt that kinda thing w liking charas too? so far at least!!! i am shy w them but >< <3#and then someone who i actually held dms with for a while wow !! it really helped me be more comfy w talking to others tbh ... <33#and i wna say more too but also unfortunately i'm shy w them rn WHWHJDHDK SO YEAH. oops#and then i said on twt but a loot of accts i kinda have some sort of attachment or connection to one way or another#they r transmasc oops ... and look im likely genderfluid fr and just need to get more in terms w it (bad phrasinf but yeah) but !!#it's just rlly nice tbh and. oh my god all of them are artists if i'm not mistaken. oops#YOU SEE a LOT of my closest friends are all artists one way or another. artsy! art or writing or etc etc etc#only uhmm the 1 irl and the friend i met IN xiv r not. but i have other things that esp connect me to them#idk . it's nice bcs i really want to hold onto my friendships!#i really want to properly put in effort bcs i'm scared of being alone and abandonment fears and yeah uhm. yeah#so i'm fighting off the urge to disappear even if i still may be slow inr eplying or whatever ... i'm trying my best !!!!!#kid me wanted to be friends w everyone but also i realize i just am not that person#i think. it feels weird bcs theres a lot of people around me often but it feels so surface level often and i think ive learned to just#keep those who matter most close. but also i like being nice to everyone! wsp the ones that i feel r less 'seen'#bcs i know how it feels and i know id hate how itd feel and i'm a tad bit too nice#yeah. yeah !! so i wna talk more to those who actually matter most uhh overall (i think abt the future and all too and etc and yeah)#but i do care abt everyone so <333#hm. i think id def still consider myself empathetic maybe...? i hate the philippines bcs im in the car sometimes#and i like to stare outside a lot and seeing poverty just makes me. incredibly sad. the world is beautiful and it is also so ugly
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