#knotweed family

[soilthesimpletruth]

One of the bitters in our summer salads is sorrel. It’s a calm member of the Knotweed family and shares lots of love with my favorite summertime cover crop buckwheat. It’s also the cousin to rhubarb.

The photo shows how I was transplanting sorrel yesterday.

[musingmelsuinesmelancholy]

Some things I’ve been thinking about. At times being an American trad witch is incredibly frustrating and at others it’s absolutely exhilarating, rewarding. Reconnecting with my ancestral ( primarily french and scottish ) lore, magical practices, witchcraft etc has and will continue to inform my practice but I’ll never be a “french” witch. I’ll never be a “scottish” witch. I can find a lone hawthorn or a sacred tree guarding a hidden spring to tie the cloutie to, I can divine via a snail’s mucus trail, Fly to the Sabbath to meet The Abbess, heed the Dame Blanches, pluck the golden bloom with songs to St Columba, safeguard me and mine via silver, spring water and juniper. Yet there’s many things I’ll never know or be able to do. Whether that’s because these things are so tied to the land or a specific place, language barriers, ( working to overcome this one ) or due to the ( well warranted) gate keeping of lore and practices.

This used to be a source of great confusion for me. I think because I was afraid( due to my previous new age fuckwittery ) to experiment, do anything other than what I understood as “traditional”. My understanding being too rigid at the time; the pendulum swung from one end of the spectrum to the other. This delayed my progress and “froze” me. I was left wondering what an “American” trad craft would look like; most our books do come from a European POV. Learning of our own magical traditions as well as those of my Canadian family ( still working on that one haha ) helped. Reading Robin Kimmere helped. Reading Schulke, him being an American and writing on American plants, helped too. I’ve come to know Sugar Maple and Plantain as powerful spirits. Both teaching important lessons on how to rectify my ancestors mistakes, to foster relations with the First Peoples and how to incorporate the magic of this land into my craft. Rather than being frustrated by my being American I see it as a challenge now. I get to explore spirits, plants, places, animals, spiritual/physical ecologies ( is even really a difference between these?) completely unknown to my ancestors. I get to reconcile the old and the new. To learn from Spirit Direct. Tradition isn’t the worship of ashes, it’s the preservation of Fire. New wood must be added to keep The Fire burning. The Devil of this land certainly is a spirit of the unknown.

I am the land, the land is me.

I don’t own it, to it I owe all.

To it my body will return, the tithe paid.

I’m not rolling hills of heather, white chalk cliffs, the monk’s island nor the azure coast. The memories of these places echo distantly in my blood, sung alive by my ancestors shades. Part of me they’ll always be; yet it’s not who I am. Not what I am.

I’m craggy shores, dull-jade waves bearing down upon the tired rocks. I am musky pine forests veiled in mist. Sun-venerating oaks hugging the shoreline. Bleeding alders in damp ground swelling. Proud maples sustaining generation upon generation with their boiled blood. Death-grey clay, exposed by running spring.

I am the kudzu, the itching moth, the knotweed, the Norway maple, the ivy wrecking havoc upon the land. My surname and light skin proof of a genocide ongoing. I am my ancestors sins; the specter of the Old Growth forests, their grief hanging over the land like a fog. Every interaction with The Land tinged with sadness, loss.

I am my maternal side’s copper curls. Melusine’s pride. Ave Landry! Ave Gauthier! Forebears mine.

I am my paternal side’s grief. The end result of decades of cultural warfare. The Jesuits stole our name….my hair will not be cut.

Never will I libate these glacier carved valleys with booze.

I am the plantain, learning a kinder way. The sumac reclaiming the orchard.

My Februarys, my Marches aren’t snow drops and daffodils peaking through the frozen ground. They’re steely skies and walls of sleet. Bloodroot heralds winters wane; not Brigid’s flower.

My June isn’t fields of poppies, it’s seas of crimson staghorn blooms skyward reaching.

My augusts aren’t golden shafts of wheat, swaying in summer’s last breaths; they’re explosions of neon-violet and honey-yellow. Corn ripening on the vine, supporting the climbing bean. The cicadas song reverberating.

Old Michaelmas marks harvest’s end, October potatoes long buried in soils darkness finally exhumed. The Devil his Rosy Briar to ascend and plunge.

With Novembers first snows the Dead come in.

I’ll never process around a standing stone nor know what it is to live and eat off the land my dead lay in. Finally, I’m learning to be at peace with this. To love and know the land I live on. I’ll always be a stranger here, a guest. I hope to be a good one.

[larz-barz]

I have an mha oc:3

Amaya Kazumi

The catnip hero, Bonsai

Quirk(s):

Neko: Can do anything a cat can do plus she can turn into a cat, only downside is frequent sleepiness and frequent hunger

Plant manipulation: self explanatory, basically can control any surrounding plants if she can touch them (she specializes in vines) downside is when overused she’ll start getting small cuts on her arms and/or legs

Personality:

Sleepy due to her quirk

She’s protective of her friends

She’s very calm and collected

Tries to avoid conflict as much as possible

Confident

Calm under pressure

Favorite hero(s):

Kamui woods

Crimson riot

Knotweed (Amaya’s brother, Teru)

Bakusquad or Dekusquad?

Bakusquad

Favorite people:

Kansatoki Hikari ( @theyslaydemons’s oc)

Yume Hoshino ( @unofficialmuilover’s oc)

Yuki(hara) Fujiko ( @cloudymistedskies’s oc)

Pixychu Midoriya ( @tokito-dulya20’s oc)

Sumi Hikau ( @muichinno’s oc)

Mina Ashido

Eijiro Kirishima

Denki Kaminari

Famale bestie:

Mina Ashido

Male bestie:

Denki Kaminari

Teru Kazumi (big brother, 20)

Hiro Kazumi (little brother, 12)

Family

Mom- Ami Kazumi

Dad- Hirohi Kazumi

Big brother- Teru Kazumi

Little brother- Hiro Kazumi

Thoughts on the rest of the Bakusquad:

Bakugo: “He has a unique way of showing it, but he cares.”

Kirishima: “He’s really sweet..” *blushes*

Mina: “Throws the best parties imaginable!”

Kaminari: “He’s awesome, I wish people wouldn’t make fun of him so much. He can’t help it that he short circuits so much.”

Hanta Sero: “Spider man.”

Sumi Hikau: “Judy Hopps.”

The Bakusquad’s thoughts on her:

Bakugo: “She spends a lot of time training, come to think of it I don’t think I’ve ever seen her eat. That makes no sense cause I’ve heard her say that frequent hunger is a side effect of her neko quirk.” *worried Baku noises* (i’m not good at aggressive characters, i’m sry:( this bakugo will still be aggressive but he’ll be like, nicer for lack of a better word)

Kirishima: *blushes* “She’s so cute! I love her cat ears and her tail! They’re so soft!”

Mina: “She’s very pretty, very fun to have at parties too!”

Kaminari: “She always defends me when people make fun of me for short circuiting. I hope she starts taking better care of herself cause I literally never see her eat.”

Sumi: “I love her ears!”

What Amaya is like in school:

She’s very studious and hard working

She spends a lot of time training, often overworking herself

She does eat, just not around people very often which has resulted in even Bakugo worrying about her health

She occasionally falls asleep in class but is excused for it since it’s a side effect of her quirk

Fun facts about Amaya

She’s Japanese American, her mom is American and her dad is Japanese.

Despite her slight laziness, she’s always had good grades in school.

Bakugo’s nickname for her is catnip (that’s how she came up with being the catnip hero).

Her hero name is Bonsai cause of the plant aspect of her quirk.

Oki doki this is all I can think of, if you have questions feel free to ask them! (she doesn’t have a backstory yet, i’m thinking about not fully traumatizing an oc for once lol)

pls check the tags to see the kirishima x amaya ship name choices i have come up with

[broomsticks]

posted a two-part pride rec list over at dreamwidth (follow the links for full reccer’s notes). various queer themes including identity exploration, coming out, and related social/societal issues. there’s light to heavy angst in most of these, but all have a happy/hopeful ending. 🌈

Modern Muggle AUs

Time and Love by justtoarguewithyou // Hermione/Oliver // 6.8k, G. College/University AU, Self-Discovery, Getting Together

Love & Blowjobs & Other Sacred Things by BrujaBanter // Wolfstar & Jily // 77k, E. Preacher Remus, Priest Sirius, Former LDS/Mormon James, Hijabi Lily, Explicit Sexual Content, Priest Kink, Catholicism Is Inherently Kinky Fight Me

Discards by @picascribit // Wolfstar & Jily // 76k, M. Librarian AU, Trans Sirius Black, Latino!Remus, Japanese-American!Sirius, Black!James, Jewish!Lily, Homelessness, HIV/AIDS, Drug Use, Sex Work

Dragons Don't Know Paradise by @teacup-tai // Drarry & Wolfstar // 51k, E. Falling In Love, they meet online, Wolfstar raising Harry, HIV+ Remus, Angst and Hurt/Comfort.

Have Time To Grow by Queer_and_trashy // Wolfstar // 31k, E. Professor Remus, Poet Sirius, Trans Sirius, Dom Remus/Sub Sirius, deeply deeply queer, because fuck jkr

Midday Train to London by xinasvoice // Wolfstar, Prongsfoot, Jily // 24k, E. Muggle AU, introduction to the BDSM/kink community, introduction to polyamory

Magical Queerness

Play Me Like A Love Song by @writcraft // Wilhelmina Grubbly-Plank/Minerva McGonagall // 68k, E. Queer Awakening, Stone Butch, Coming Out, Families of Choice, Drag King, Self-Discovery

Rosmerta's Special Brew by @lumosatnight // Rosmerta/Andromeda // 6k, T. Queer Themes, Queer Characters (so many), 5+1 Things, Coming Out, Fluff

burning brightly by malapropism // Rolfluna // 15k, NR. Parent-Child Relationship, Family Dynamics, Character Study, Aromantic Luna Lovegood

Knotweed by @turanga4 // Poppy/Pomona // 2.3k, T. Canon compliant, missing moment, older lesbians, past relationship

Dating the System Isn't Very Punk Rock by flibbertygigget // Kingsley/Snape // 7k, M. post-DH canon divergence, Community Organizing, Anarchism, Punk, Transfem Snape, Genderfluid Kingsley

Smoke and Mirrors by RuinsPlume // Remadora, endgame Tonks/Ginny // 38k, E. Butch Tonks, nonbinary Tonks, bisexual Remus, polyamory negotiations, Remadora raising Teddy, queer het

The Bent by @ebparentheses // Wolfstar & F/F Jily // 40k, E. No-Voldemort canon divergence, Friends to Lovers, Queer History, Queer Art, obscenity laws, queer solidarity

The Mirror Lied by tryslora // F/F Draco/Hermione // 1.8k, M. Post-Hogwarts, EWE, Transfem Draco Malfoy, Gender Exploration

[eggtrolls]

Invasive species of the day is: Japanese knotweed!

Japanese knotweed (Reynoutria japonica; Japanese name is 虎杖) is a perennial, clonal plant in the knotweed/buckwheat family native to Japan, Korea, and China. Reaching a maximum height of 3-4 m (10-13 ft), it forms dense thickets of canes which are hollow like bamboo (but not related), although plants that have been cut/mowed have shorter and thinner stems that are no longer hollow - neat, eh? It was introduced from East Asia as an ornamental plant and to help stabilize streambanks. The young stems are edible as an early spring vegetable and taste a lot like rhubarb with a lemon twist so it is actually cultivated for food in some places where it is both native and invasive. Its flowers also apparently make great honey, similar to buckwheat honey.

As an invasive species, holy shit. Japanese knotweed is basically Godzilla – one forest restoration old-hat told me that it is the toughest invasive species to deal with which is why it is also called Godzilla weed. "Fast-growing" is an understatement – this plant can grow up to 30 cm (6 inches) PER DAY and it will grow in the most mediocre soils on the planet. It's also nearly impossible to remove by the roots, which can extend about 7 m (23 ft) horizontally and 3 m (10 ft) deep. That root system can survive salt, temperatures as low as -40, and will damage retaining walls; if you leave a few centimeters of root it will start to reshoot. You literally cannot kill it in any way that matters. Controlling it, for those of us without a backhoe or heavy chemical weaponry, is a matter of controlling the above-ground shoots for years to weaken and kill the entire patch, while trying futilely to do something about the roots. Be careful how you dispose of it though – in the UK, knotweed is classified as controlled waste and its disposal is regulated by law. There's a whole discussion to be had on the effects of Japanese knotweed on home mortgages in the U.K. (?) but I'll skip that.

Bonus – remember how I said it was imported to help with streambank stabilization? It's actually really bad at doing that compared to native vegetation AND it worsens water quality. Suffice to say, this guy sucks and all my friends hate him.

[onenicebugperday]

@shanzhuyuu submitted: Hi! These are some bugs I found while travelling across [removed] (please remove the location). I have a lot more, but these are the ones I haven't seen before, so I need help with ID-ing them. There are a lot, so you don't have to be precise with all of them if you don't wanna, just Genus is fine

The guy below lookes like a Chafer, but it was a lot smaller, maybe a different type? (Two different bugs, but I'm pretty sure they are the same species)

Very long slugs as a bonus! (😳😳)

Probably some of them the best I can do is an order or family, not genus. Often I need clearer/closer/better lit photos to see enough details to ID specifically.

But in order from the top:

Some kind of hemipteran, probably a plant bug in Miridae

Broad-nosed weevil in Entiminae

Knotweed leaf beetle

Male non-biting midge in Chironomidae

Some kind of wood wasp, probably an alder wood wasp

Mayfly

Scarab beetle, too vaguely brown to ID

And another scarab, but it doesn't look like the same species to me

2 very long leopard slugs playing tag!

[ashesandhackles]

@hprecfest Day 9 - rare pair

1. Flying Lessons by phantomato

Andromeda Tonks/Rolanda Hooch

First person point of view. Love me some older women finding love again, and what I really, really enjoyed is Andromeda's feelings about her body - as a woman who has internalised some things growing up in a family that valorised respectable pureblood marriages - settling to a healthier place within the fic.

Summary:

Andromeda takes Teddy to flying lessons so Harry doesn’t get that, too.

2. Till We Have Faces by TeddieJean

Andromeda Tonks/ Rodolphus Lestrange

A very, very layered Andromeda, with her love for Tonks, Ted sitting at the edge of her compartmentalisation and her love for Bella, along fatalism stay as centerpiece for this narrative.

Summary:

When everything comes to a head, sometimes it's hard to tell what's inconsequential. Otherwise known as the implausible yet oddly intriguing Andromeda/Rodolphus story that I don't understand the conception of.

3. End of the Road by StarlingFlight

Godric Gryffindor/ Salazar Slytherin

Starling's writing is rich with details, and you can feel the texture of each scene: the angst, the political tensions and of course, the desire.

Summary:

The beginning of a new year at Hogwarts brings tensions between its founders to boiling point.

4. Lucretia in Paris by @artemisia-black

Lucretia Black/OFC

We all deserve a sensual smut that luxuriates in each moment.

Summary:

At 20 years old, Lucretia Black is sent to Paris to learn etiquette and instead she learns about pleasure.

4. Knotweed by @turanga4

Poppy Pomphrey/ Pomona Sprout

Quiet, restrained, tender! There is a steady heart beating through the fic, even in the aftermath of war that hopes for the future.

Summary:

A romance and a reckoning, in the last year of the War.

[pazodetrasalba]

House of Unmirth

Dear Caroline:

These days we live in a house of sadness, and feed upon ashes and wormwood, which taste bitter in the mouth.

The House is as a grim fortress of despair, where light dares not linger, and the sun shows not his face. Its walls, high and unyielding, are built not of stone but of the weight of forgotten hopes. Within, time loses its meaning, each hour stretching into an eternity of regret. No laughter ever echoes in these halls, only the soft rustle of resigned footsteps and the hollow silence of souls abandoned by joy. The air is thick with the oppressive weight of isolation, and even the sky above seems to turn its face away, leaving the inhabitants trapped beneath a perpetual twilight of sorrow. Here, dreams are withered things, curled and brittle like autumn leaves caught in a cold wind, and the only escape lies not in the world outside, but in the hollowing of one’s own heart.

And yet...

There is a garden in the house. It is small, untidy, unkempt. It is overgrown with rank weeds, with gorse, and thistle, and bracken, and knotweed, choking the better plants. And yet amidst the verdure grows one lonely, one lovely, one solitary rose.

A rose regained. A rose redeemed.

It seems that ins your words before the judge, one of the things you said that during your time at Alameda, you lost your moral compass. You are way more knowledgeable about yourself that I can ever hope to be, but I feel the wording is a bit misplaced. A virtuous person like yourself can never lose their moral compass, but they can become entangled in wrong and misbegotten paths, like the one that starts Dante's Divine Commedy:

Nel mezzo del cammin di nostra vita / mi ritrovai per una selva oscura / ché la diritta via era smarrita

And that you did. And it feels all the more tragic, and unfair, because of your fundamentally good nature. I suspect a non-trivial element of your fall stems from it, from what I would call the Hermione, or 'Good Girl' paradox. I feel you have always strived, since childhood, to optimize towards being the perfect person, the most dutiful, the most self-sacrificing, the most obedient and pleasing to the Authorities you recognize, the most agreeable. This, along with a certain naiveté and the weaknesses that love imposes upon us, was weaponized against you, and employed to turn you into a tool of unwholesome ends. It is the stuff of Greek tragedy that people, including good people, can be turned by the whims of fate into suffering unexpected and underserved evil. Such is the fate of mortals, it seems, whether it be in a god-full or in a godless world.

I've been racking my brains trying to find words, any words, that could give you support, consolation and solace, but I fear will never be up to the task, so I've also been thinking on what I could recommend you read in this regard. Stoic philosophy is something I find congenial: the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius is a slim little book I have never tired of going to when I need some rational comfort. Another that is exceedingly good is Boethius's De Consolatione Philosophiae. I don't know if you are acquainted with the latter (this migh sound preposterous, given your wisdom, wide readings and talents, but then again, this is a very humanistic book to read). In a way, Boethius was the last Roman, and he wrote the little booklet while in prison, falsely accused, and soon to be executed. The book is the foundation-stone of much Medieval philosophy, and Ignatius Reilly's nerdy fascination with it gets much jeering in J. Kennedy O'Toole's A Conspiracy of Dunces, but believe me, it is a great book, and one that I am sure will do you good and to read and ponder about.

In a few, short, months, you will have to begin a new, unhappy stage in your path of penance which I really hoped you would never have to walk. But you will not walk it alone, dear Caroline. Your friends and family will be there for you at every step of this via dolorosa, of this earthly Purgatory. Purgatory brings to mind Dante again. Many years ago, I made a little trip to the north of the country, taking advantage of the fact that some close university friends were using an Erasmus grant for a yearly stay in Bologna. One of the things I did was buy myself a profusely annotated Italian version of the Commedia, of which I have so far only finished the Inferno.

In the time to come, I really wish I could be of help to you, and write you letters of support to the House of Unmirth. Then again, I do not know if they would be wanted. Whatever the case may be, I have landed on an at least symbolic way in which I will be able to express my support for you and the desire to carry your burdens. Back again to Dante, I will devote the time of your incarceration as a constraining bound for a reading of the Purgatorio. And following an old Christian custom for Lent, I'll voluntarily deprive myself for as long as your captivity shall last of some important source of happiness and pleasure - which one, I have yet to think about and determine. These may feel like childish gestures, but one takes whatever one can get.

[dougdimmadodo]

Fast Fauna Facts #10 - Rhubarb (Rheum rhabarbarum)

Family: Knotweed Family (Polygonaceae)

IUCN Conservation Status: Unassessed

The stems and roots of Rhubarb plants are edible and commonly farmed worldwide for use as ingredients, although their leaves are highly poisonous to humans and are generally discarded or used as compost. Originally from cold, high-altitude regions of China, Siberia and Mongolia, Rhubarb needs periods of both warm and cool weather in order to grow and reproduce normally and can potentially grow to be over 1.5m (4.9ft) tall under ideal conditions. As an adaptation to outcompete shorter plants young Rhubarb plants grow extremely rapidly when access to sunlight is limited, and in parts of their cultivated range (especially northeastern England) farmed Rhubarb plants may be grown in near total darkness to encourage them to get as tall as possible as quickly as possible - this method, known as "forcing", causes the young plants to grow at an extremely rapid rate (potentially getting as much as 2cm/0.8inches taller every 24 hours,) increasing in size so rapidly that they reportedly audibly creak as they grow.

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[dsharma-world]

Buckwheat benefits: 5 healthy tips of Kuttu Ka Atta

Buckwheat healthy benefits

Buckwheat flour, also known as kuttu ka atta in India, has a long cultural history of being connected to a variety of celebrations, including Shivratri, Navaratri, and Janmashtami.  A flowering plant in the knotweed family Polygonaceae known as buckwheat or common buckwheat is grown for its grain-like seeds and for use as a cover crop. Many additional species, including the domesticated food…

[musingmelsuinesmelancholy]

1, and 4, for your ask game

1) As a witch, somebody caught between two worlds- not fully belonging to either one, what anchors you to the physical world?

sorry ancat dubh beat you to this one!

4) Do you attempt to localize your practice? If so, especially if you’re living on colonized land, has that proven difficult?

I’m going to write a longer more thoughtful response to this tomorrow (I have to get up at the ASS CRACK OF DAWN for work tomorrow). In short yes I do and I have grappled with attempting this on colonized land. Every interaction I have with the land feels tinged with some sense of loss or sadness. Even praying to my white ancestors feels a little invasive at times. While I do believe spirits follow people and that spirit are well everywhere it does feel weird to be calling on European spirits here. Learning native history does help as well as reading native authors. I check to ensure a space hasn’t ever been sacred to a tribe before I call a spirit there. I try to forge relationships with plants that colonizers brought here, whether they naturalized like plantain or became invasive like Japanese knotweed. I also try and foster relationships with plants that may have been used by native people but weren’t necessarily sacred, like maple. Reconnecting a bit with my malecite family was SO helpful, even though I couldn’t connect as much as I would’ve liked. One of my spirits I refer to as “lady of the waters of the world” and she is present in multiple cultures, one of which is/was present here. So that has helped a bit. Sorry for the vague and ramble-y answer! I’ll have a better one for you tomorrow 😅😂

[life-around-me-yura15cbx]

Persicaria capitata, the pink-headed persicaria, pinkhead smartweed, pink knotweed, Japanese knotweed, or pink bubble persicaria, is an Asian species of plants in the genus Persicaria within the buckwheat family. It is native to Asia (China, Indian Subcontinent, Indochina).

Order:Caryophyllales

Family:Polygonaceae

Genus:Persicaria

Persicaria capitata has been widely used in China in the treatment of various urologic disorders including urinary calculi and urinary tract infections. The juice of the plant is taken as a treatment for stomach disorders. A paste made from the plant is applied as a poultice on boils, wounds. seed of most, if not all, members of the genus is edible both raw and cooked.

persicaria: Medieval name referring to the likeness of the leaves to a peach tree. capitata: From the Latin capitus ‘head’, with a knob-like head or tip.

47/22 Northcross dr, Auckland NZ

7PJC+M45 Auckland

-36.7183720, 174.7203656

наземные растения цветковые травы

[cazort]

Garlic mustard was also brought over as a food plant, as was black mustard, yellow rocket, and a number of other invasive cabbage-family plants. As was Perilla frutescens (makes one of the highest-quality, omega-3 rich oils that has a higher smoke point than any other oils with as high an omega 3 content, also the leaves are edible.) Japanese knotweed is also edible. Bamboo has all sorts of uses as a fiber and construction material. Many invasive trees have valuable timber. Almost all invasive plants have medicinal uses.

Y'all ever get so excited about a scientific paper you're reading that you get chills???

So I thought to myself

Huh, a lot of our invasive species come from China and Japan

And then I thought, huh, I should look up what Kudzu is like in its natural habitat

And I found this article by a team of scientists investigating the history of Kudzu in China

And ohhhhh my goddddd. I'm vibrating with excitement over how cool this is.

The first bombshell that turned my brain inside out:

KUDZU IS NOT WILD. IT IS SEMI-DOMESTICATED.

In China, Kudzu has been a fundamentally important plant for food and textiles throughout history. We have Kudzu cloth that is 6,000 years old!

THIS PLANT CLOTHED AND FED ONE OF THE MOST POPULOUS AND MOST ENDURING HUMAN CULTURES ON EARTH

and in turn

HUMANS SHAPED AND SELECTED FOR ITS TRAITS

*AND*

in its natural range, humans are the main "predator" of kudzu

"Harvest by humans appears to be the major control mechanism in its native areas."

Kudzu is like that because it co-evolved with humans.

WHAT

[splendourofrecognition]

I listen to the wind, to the wind of my soul

Yet another song, flitting across my busy mind, without any clear trace as to where it arose from. Well, that's not true actually- it's a very windy day and the wind is currently blowing loudly as I type this, so I've found the link.

I keep thinking "I must keep track of that" or "that observation feels important, I must put it somewhere to reflect on another day." Yet, where to put it, how to track it and when to reflect? It's absurdly confusing and I don't have a systematic way of doing it. Amazing, too, how many moments occur on any given day that feel important. The truth is that I can't possibly track everything I want or mull over something at a later date...so some of this is a discernment predicament. First discern, then decide, THEN keep track/reflect later etc. I think I'm reflecting on this particular point in order to avoid all the others, which are the actual things I need to be reflecting on. Right now.

My NHS job is weighing on my body and soul. It has been, for such a long time. Only as I take small steps to extricate myself am I becoming more aware of the cost of this burden, the way it robs me of my energy, leaving me little left over to show love to myself, my family, my friends- all the things I actually care about. I feel sad and heavy when I reflect on the zero-sum gameness of life; that if your attention is in one place, it is absent in another. How much has already been lost, swept up the torrent of my fears around self-worth and all during the first years of Ruby's life that I (and she) will never be able to return to.

I watched my mom do this and vowed to not do the same. Yet, here I sit. Ravaged by a feeling that I might die soon, both literally and figuratively. It sounds so dramatic, really. But that doesn't shift the truth of it and truth is where I'm trying to make my peace. When I first saw Ros, I knew work (specifically, the NHS job) was a pernicious forcefield pulling me under and likened it to Japanese knotweed; a weed so forceful and rapacious that seeks to find cracks in structural foundations and push its way through. Full of destruction and growth. I knew in that moment, too, that my mom was somehow woven into this weed. During our subsequent sessions, she appeared like an apparition that slowly gained opacity as I ventured back into those painful memories. At one point, going so far as to banish her with the words of Gollum, "Leave now and never come back." What, or who, was I trying to banish? The belief that you must sacrifice all that you love at the altar of "responsibility" (code for patriarchy and capitalism). Uphold the status quo, at all costs, even your own life. Do what others tell you to, even if you don't value their opinion. The measurement of society is real and you will be judged at every move; your worth determined by your ability to uphold your white, middle-class, monotonous life, devoid of creativity, spontaneity and joy.

This has a quality of a self-fulfilling prophecy. By worrying from such a young age that I would become my mom, I thereby put into motion the machinations to do just that. But...why? How did this come to pass, when it was diametrically opposed to what I was seeking in the first place?

And if I'm repeating the cycle, where does that leave Ruby? I'm modelling something to her, just as my mom did to me. The messages are unpredictable and I can only speculate, but what I do know is that she's viewing her mom going to work at a job that genuinely feels as if it is killing her at times and for what? Because she's "supposed to" do it...according to who? It would be all too easy to cite money at this juncture- the undebatable reality that our world requires money, for everything. It also has to be said that I don't have to go to a job that destroys my life force in order to make money and have in fact being going to various other jobs that provide what I need, without killing me in the process. So why have I hung on? Should I just hand in my notice?

[possumandpine]

Jumpseed

Known to many as an annoying weed, the jumpseed is common to most of the Eastern part of the United States. Jumpseed goes by many names, but it is in the knotweed family. It blooms small, white flowers in late summer, and easily propagates itself. Jumpseed is edible, but the young leaves are what should be eaten. Due to the larger leaves becoming fibrous and bitter, the plant can be seen as…

[molassified-minipak]

6. You Lied To Me

Anaranë would stomp into the courthall were it not for her ‘escorts’. The city guard had assigned her two minders, as though she would break and run! She’s a pillar of Houdham society! The scandal! In any case, her appeal means she’s on her best behaviour.

Two heads of dark hair push through the crowd calling her name. “Anaranë! Nanë!”

“Yamacho! Almando!” Ana gawps. She hadn’t expected to see her twin brothers here. “What-”

Almando sweeps her into a hug - a tame one, they’re still in public and the guards are watching closely. “Sashiburi! It’s been so long! How’d you enjoy country living for a few months?”

“Ugh. Morning glories, is Misthaven a dump. Proper compost heap,” She rolls her eyes and hugs Yamacho too. “I’ll be ecstatic to come back home. Are Tou-san and Kaa-san here?”

“We’re waiting out here for them, havenae seen them yet. They’ll be here,” Yamacho assures her. A bell rings from inside and the guards start nudging Ana along. “Go get ready, Nanë, we’ll be in shortly!”

One of the einher guards seems to find that funny. All three hoblings glare at her.

The hall was daunting the first time Ana was here for her sentencing, and walking in now, it hasn’t gotten any less so. Ceilings as high as any temple’s, long thin leaded glass windows, glossy marble floor, all suited for a wealthy shipping port. Misthaven could never.

Across the corridor, Her Withery Blightedness herself plunks into the prosecutor's bench. Ana scowls at Sculwater. The hag has a few friends with her, members of the Houdham Gardeners’ Association: Mister Falrax, Miz Elulien, and - Miz Thrushwaite, the turnleaf! Ana thought she was on her side! Ana’s own side of the court is much emptier, but not for long. Her family will be here soon.

The President of the Gardeners’ Association comes in and talks to Sculwater. To scold her, probably; all this nonsense must be a terrific drain on the President’s time, especially with the Winner’s Ceremonies to begin this weekend.

The President smiles at Sculwater. Shakes her hand.

Sits behind her.

Ana has a bad feeling.

The magistrate enters. All rise. Ana’s side is still empty. Her lawyer shuffles a few papers and doesn’t look at Ana.

Where are Yamacho and Almando? Tou-san and Kaa-san?

The gavel hits the podium and Ana jumps. “Wait- not everyone’s here yet, cannae we wait just a minute more?” She hisses to the lawyer. They give her a pitying look. She hates it.

The magistrate reads through the case recap. No family.

Sculwater’s scumbag slugsniffer lawyer stands to recount the ‘horrors’ done to his client. Ana scoffs. The magistrate shushes her!

Her own lawyer stands, details the ‘sentence’ Ana had suffered through thus far, and…commends its efficacy? What the foxglove. “What the foxglove, it isnae effective, I want to come home! That skunk-cabbage knotweed fungus is a liar, I’m innocent-!”

“Miss Papaverde!” The magistrate slams his gavel twice. “Order!”

“She deserved it! She’s targeting me, she’s jealous-”

“Miss Papaverde, I’m trying to keep you out of a gaol sentence!” The lawyer hisses.

“And a bang-up job you’re-”

“Order! For contempt of the court, I sentence the defendant-” The President jogs up to whisper to the judge. A small bag exchanges hands. “Hrmph. Out of deference to the defendant’s position in a respected Houdham guild, I sentence the defendant to indefinite banishment, instead of the prison sentence I would assign anyone else,” the magistrate growls.

What. “What.” Something’s ringing, like a wet finger around a wine glass rim.

Ana’s lawyer sighs and puts away their notes.

The President comes over to say something that Ana can’t hear.

The benches behind her remain empty.

Her escorts walk her to the door - they must do, Ana doesn’t remember how else she’d have gotten there. They push her along, eager to… banish her. From her home. Forever. “Wait…” Please…

Someone shoves through, calling her name again.

“Sorry, Nanë, we tried-”

“Where were you.” It’s not a question.

“Nanë, Tou-san and Kaa-san were here, they just-” “You promised.” Don’t cry don’t cry don’t- you’re in public, don’t-

“I know, but our parents insisted, Nanë! It’d reflect poorly on the comp-”

“You lied to me!” Ana screams.

“You blew up a house, Anaranë!” Yamacho yells back. “What were you thinking? Not of us, clearly!”

“I needed you! How dare-”

“No, how dare you!” Now Almando joins in. “You know we’re trying to set up our own business, Nanë. You remember how tough it is to build a client base! You were our inspiration, and now we’ve got your criminal record to turn investors away!”

Don’t cry don’t cry-

“You’ve shamed the Papaverde name.” Yamacho folds his arms. “Tou-san and Kaa-san have rescinded your right to it.”

...What? The ringing is back.

Almando says something else and storms off. Yamacho tries to put a hand on Ana’s shoulder. She dodges it. He walks away too. Don’t cry don’t cry the tears are hot on her skin don’t cry-

The guards bundle her to a carriage that takes her out through the city gates. Behind her, the fireworks start for the Winner’s Ceremony.