#klfdlkdskl sorry this took like seventeen years

[robertdowneyjjr]

So now you’ve got me thinking of a fic for 5 times Tony stole Steve’s clothes and the one time steve wore Tony’s (that one time being the armor cause tony ordered the manures to protect him a la IM3)

(i changed the last one bc as awesome as steve would look in the armor, i think tony would just Die if steve wore something actually from tony’s closet 👀)

1.

To say that Tony “steals” Steve’s clothes would be to imply that he consciously makes the decision to take something of Steve’s without him finding out about it. So technically speaking, Tony doesn’t steal anything the first time he takes one of Steve’s hoodies and decides never to give it back. In fact, Steve gives Tony his hoodie. Well, Steve lends it to Tony. He just never specifies when he expects to get it back.

Tony hadn’t expected the day to end with him wearing Steve’s hoodie back to the tower. It had been an ordinary enough day to begin with. A local theatre was playing Hitchcock films throughout the month and Steve had wanted to catch the afternoon screening of Notorious . He’d asked Tony to go with him, and Tony had agreed because he has a stupid crush on stupid Steve and will always stupidly say yes whenever Steve invites him somewhere.

They buy a bunch of snacks to munch on during the movie, but Steve’s metabolism really is something else, and by the time the film is over and they are walking back to the tower, Steve’s stomach starts rumbling again. So Tony drags Steve over to the side of the street where a hot dog vendor has set up and orders them a couple. He’s just finished adding all his toppings and is about to take his first bite when a jogger slams right into him and crushes the hot dog to his chest, leaving smears of ketchup, mustard, and relish on the front of Tony’s t-shirt.

It all happens too quickly for Tony to really react beyond staring pathetically at his food that’s now splattered across the pavement. The jogger is incredibly apologetic, and Tony just waves him off because at that point his biggest disappointment is that he just lost a perfectly good hot dog. That isn’t necessarily a huge deal – he can always just turn around to the vendor and ask for another one – but he’d been excited to bite into thatone, damn it. And not to mention, he has a giant stain on his shirt now and god knows how annoying the paparazzi would be if they caught him looking anything less than perfect.

Steve, always reliable Steve, acts for Tony and grabs a bunch of napkins to get most of the sauce off Tony’s shirt, but it’s a lost cause and likely won’t be saved until he gets back to the tower and adds it to his pile of laundry for the bots to take care of.

“Damn it, I’m gonna have to walk for another twenty minutes with this massive stain on my shirt,” Tony complains while wiping at his shirt. “People will either call me a huge useless mess and ridicule me – which I guess won’t exactly be new – or they’ll mistake the ketchup for blood and start some stupid rumor about me getting stabbed on the street.” He looks up at Steve and asks, “Which one do you think it will be?”

Instead of responding, Steve just laughs and strips off his hoodie. He hands it to Tony and suggests, “Or you can put this on to cover up the stain and no one would have to know.”

“They don’t call you a master strategist for nothing, Cap.”

So Tony puts the hoodie on and buys another hot dog and a pretzel for good measure. There are no more incidents this time around, and they happily eat their food while they walk back to the tower.

When they get home, Tony immediately throws his stained top into the hamper and puts on a fresh shirt. He eyes the hoodie for a bit before tugging it on as well. It’s comfortable, it’s warm, and it smells good. Until Steve comes knocking on his door to demand it back, Tony is going to keep it.

read the rest on ao3

(also tagging @asaelia for visibility as requested!)