#kit Connor forced to come out

[yourbestbuddie]

“The truth is every queer person has right to come out on their own terms and on their own timeline. They also have the right to choose not to come out at all.

The forced conformity of the closet cannot be answered with the forced conformity in coming out.”

- Alex Claremont-Diaz, Red White and Royal Blue

Those who participated in bullying this then eighteen year old child actor into coming out on social media, calling him a queer baiter because he played a bisexual character on a lgbtqia centered Netflix series really didn���t understand what that show was about.

This is a show about acceptance and love and just being yourself and showing that there are no social ideals that you have to conform to. You can be masculine and like guys. You can be feminine and like girls. This is a show about being confident and who you are but it’s also a show where they’ve made it clear that you only come out when you’re ready, and on your own terms.

It’s representation for so many people gay, lesbian, bi, trans, arocace… it’s showing that representation which is so important for so many people.

To those people who forced him out of the closet through constant bullying you’re not supporting the ideals of this show at all. You’re not being progressive by publicly harassing an actor who played a queer character because he’s seen with people of the opposite gender, so “he couldn’t possibly be queer himself”. You’re being a fucking asshole who couldn’t get it through their thick heads what this show was trying to get across to their audiences.

The term queerbaiting is being thrown around so loosely these days that even playing a queer character on show and not labeling yourself as such yourself is queerbaiting. Queer actors play cishet characters all the time. Are you going to bully them into announcing that they’re straight? I mean by your logic they have to be for playing that character or else it’s morally wrong.

Kit Connor played a bisexual sixteen year old who just realized he was such and had a whole identity crisis. He was scared and was worried that people close to him wouldn’t support him. His ‘friends’ are homophobic assholes and his brother is a bully. He’s scared that people he loves won’t accept him. He’s scared they won’t think of him the same way. When he tells his mother that he’s bi he gets that moment of relief when she hugs him tells him she’s sorry if she ever made him feel like he couldn’t tell her that. He’s relieved that she accepts him for who he is and that she doesn’t think of him differently than before she knew.

Kit Connor never got to have that moment with his mother because people who call themselves fans harassed him to the extent that he was forced to come out to social media before he was ready.

People need to just be more fucking aware.

[justarandomgirly]

Reminder

[nickmybeloved]

"...and I don't want to have to sneak around, pretending we're platonic BFFs"

[woebegotten]

Can we all please leave this poor, anxious child alone? Baby boy is doing his best for us.

[lovecom]

ppl on twt debating yves' sexuality and calling her a "queerbaiter"... 1. real ppl can't queerbait thats not a thing, and also 2. she doesn't owe anyone access to her sexual identity unless she Wants to.....

like im priv but even still if you said "irl ppl can't queerbait" ppl would lose their minds at that

[poems-of-a-lover]

i will never understand the "stop casting straight actors as gay characters" argument. people just wanna out gay actors so they can have a better grasp on who to hate.

[kruemel8]

[alexiaugustin]

im going to be so honest for a second here but i genuinely think that this whole kit connor was forced to come out narrative is blown out of proportion like yeah people need to stay out of celebrity’s private lives but at the end of the day it was just jobless people on twitter accusing him of queerbaiting and it’s just.. not that deep? like these people had nothing on him and would have moved on to get mad about some other random shit in no time because that’s how fandom cancel culture on twitter works like. kit connor still decided to type out that tweet and come out instead of just logging out idk

[heartstopper-lover123]

Was listening to this song from Young Royals:

Then, I started going on tangents with my brain and started remembering when Kit Connor was forced to come out as bi in Octeber 2022. Then I started to cry because the song just seemed to fit ao perfectly, and it's just really sad. So here I am on my bed, crying, no sobbing because my brain can't stick to one thought. Thanks, brain.

[uglygreenjacket]

Watching season 2 of Heartstopper knowing Kit Connor was forced to come out in such a heinous way, all while showing up to play a character who was allowed the space and love to come out in a way he wanted to is just… heavy.

[nic-coughlan]

watching heartstopper season two and nick's journey of slowly and surely coming out bisexual to everyone makes me ache for kit connor bc he didn't get that, he got forced to come out and stop the accusations and it still makes me sick to my stomach he never got what his character had

[whoreticulturally]

people forget that staying in the closet for ones safety can still apply to people in the spotlight and people who openly support the queer community.

and theres lots of reasons someone (not just creators) might not want to come out: safety, not wanting the public to make assumptions about their sex life, not knowing the exact lable yet, not being ready, wanting to tell family before telling the public, etc. plus, its none of your buisness if someone doesnt want it to be.

if you insist that anyone making queer art must be openly, loudly queer, or else it is some form of faking/baiting/etc for clout, you are a bizarre individual and i do not like you

[chaussetteblanche]

I had this idea in my head for a while; With Kit Connor x gf reader, where she comforts him when he was pressured to come out

thank you <3

pairing : kit connor x reader summary : you are by kit's side as he deals with being forced to come out word count : 900 words warnings : swearing

note : the fact that some so-called "fans" watched the show and had the nerve of accusing him of queer-baiting and pressured into coming out when he was only eighteen is just disgusting to me, check yourselves y'all

You'd been dating Connor for a while. Being an actor, you'd met at some party he had attended with the Heartstopper cast. You'd met Yasmin first, and had immediately hit it off. She was unbelievably funny and down-to-earth. She had introduced you to the rest of the cast, and, naturally, you'd been drawn to Kit. You had exchanged numbers through shy smiles and shaky hands, the rest was history.

Dating someone in the acting world was both a blessing and a curse. As an actor, Kit understood and could relate to your struggles with roles, management, fame, social media... just the industry in general. You bonded over similar experiences as bisexuals who could pass as straight and who didn't always bother with labels or clarifying their sexualities. But as an actor, he was also often on the move, filming thousands of kilometres away from you or in a different time zone altogether.

But even with all this, being with Kit was easy. You both clicked, you just worked. You communicated your feelings and needs and even though you'd had your fair share of arguments, you loved him more than anything. He made you and your life so much better.

So you can imagine that when people he started being accused of queer-baiting and being pressured by people who missed the meaning of the show entirely to come out, you didn't take it well. You loved Kit with all your heart and would tear the world to pieces just for him.

"I just can't believe these people! How dare they? How can they just- sit there and demand this of you!" you'd ranted one night. "You're eighteen for Pete's sake! You don't owe them or anyone anything! Fucking cunts, it's just ridiculous that they think so!" Kit watched you from where he was sitting on the couch, running a hand over his face. You sigh, licking your lips as you trudged over to him. "I'm sorry," you speak softly, standing in between his legs. He looks up at you, shaking his head. "You've got nothin' for apologize for, luv," "But I shouldn't go off like this, it's not fair to you, this negative energy..."

He pulls you into his lap, wrapping his arms around you and burying his face in your neck. Your hand immediately goes to his hair, gently scratching his scalp as the other wounds itself around his shoulders. "I would make them vanish off the face of the Earth if I could, I swear, I-" "You did all you could, my love, it's already more than enough." He meant the countless posts you'd made concerning his situation as well as other actors', speaking up on the issue in many interviews... He was right, you'd done everything in your power. But it still wasn't enough. And it was killing you.

"But it's not, though. They just won't stop! Where is their bloody decency? And you don't deserve this, any of this. It's so unfair." "I know," He lifted his head up to look at you. Your hand cupped his jaw before you kissed him deeply. "I can take it," he assured against your lips. You pulled away, frowning. "But you shouldn't have to. It's so unfair. I wish we could just shut them all up, tell them to fuck off." "But you've done that already, haven't you?" he chuckled. "Yes, but clearly the message didn't get through." He pressed a sweet kiss to your lips. "Stop worrying about me. I'll take care of it." "What will you do?" "I don't know yet, but I'll figure it out."You'd seen the tweet before you'd seen him. He was supposed to come over to your place for Halloween, you were planning on attending a party together, dressed as Shaggy and Velma. You were halfway through getting ready. You had your outfit on and were just getting started on your makeup when your phone started blowing up. Confused, you picked it up, seeing Kit's tweet everywhere. You slapped a hand over your mouth, scrolling down Twitter. Even though you were furious at the people who had brought him to this, you couldn't help but feel proud of him for taking control of the situation and coming out on "his own terms", if they could be qualified as such.

Your doorbell rings and you all but run to open the door. Outside stands Kit, looking absolutely beaten. You bite your lip, eyebrows furrowing. "I just saw," you breathe. He walks in and pulls you into a big hug, sighing shakily into your hair. You rub his back. "Oh, baby," you coo, "I'm so sorry, you don't deserve any of this,"

You usher him to your couch, closing the door and start making some tea. You set both your cups down on the coffee table, sitting down next to him. You take his hands in yours, caressing his knuckles. "How do you feel?" "I- I'm just disappointed, I guess. I thought people, especially after watching the show, would be more understanding, empathetic... just- more human, I guess." "Yeah, people are disappointing." "But I wanted to be the one to say you, you know? I didn't want that taken away from me, I didn't want to be outed." "And you were totally right, you took control of the situation and I'm so proud of you. You changed the narrative." He gave you a small smile.

Kit laid his face in your lap, hugging your thighs. "It still sucks, though," he spoke, voice muffled. You nodded, running a comforting hand up and down his back. "Yeah, it sucks. Do you wanna stay here tonight and watch some scary movies?" "Yes, please."

[beck404]

“I think ‘forced’ isn’t the right word I would use, but I would say that I would have preferred to do it another way” - Kit Connor for British Vogue

Credits to: Alasdair McLellan for British Vogue!

Kit opened up about coming out and his experience with bisexuality in his recent interview with British Vogue.

He shared how natural it was for him to come to terms with his sexuality, and even tho his family were supportive and accepting, it was completely different in his all-boys school, where he wasn’t really accepted in a lot of ways. “I was in a very heteronormative atmosphere”

This really shows the reality of being a part of the LGBTQ+ community, not being accepted by society since they are predominantly heterosexual and how genuinely hard it is to find a safe space to truly be yourself.

He also said he doesn’t regret coming out, “In many ways it was really empowering” he told Vogue.

He talked about Heartstopper and how much it meant to him to be part of it!

You can read the rest of the article here!

I’m so proud of Kit. This interview was so intimate without going too far, and the way Kit talks about how he currently feels with his sexuality and being out makes me really happy. I hope he knows how important he is to the bisexual community.

If you guys have a chance i really encourage you to read the whole article, he talks about a lot of stuff but it’s really eye-opening to hear his experience with queernes and being open about it. I promise you is worth it.

also WE’RE 30 DAYS AWAY. WTF.

[yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere]

National Coming Out Day-October 11th! *this* part of Alex's speech is so important-the whole speech is-both versions-in the movie, and in the book.

"The truth is every queer person has the right to come out on their own terms, and on their own timeline. They also have the right to choose not to come out at all. The forced conformity of the closet can not be answered with the forced conformity in coming out of it.

This isn’t about shame. This is about privacy and the fundamental right of self-determination which are exactly the principles on which the struggle for queer liberation has always been fought."

this is history being made-this speech-in a movie that is so famous worldwide? and i believe there are quite many people who left the room when this speech was on, or some people who were too distracted by his eyelashes to actually hear what he was saying and it shows. damn, it shows.

so many public figures have been put through it-what Alex and Henry have been put through both in the movie+ the book-UNACCEPTABLE. and so often it's done by queer people, our lgbtq+ community doing this shit to others? THIS CAN'T KEEP HAPPENING.

Becky Albertalli, Kit Connor (just to name a few), and so, so many others. What makes you even think you have a right to know this about ANYONE?

This National Coming Out Day, if you're queer and scared and not "out" yet, I want you to listen to this. Alex's speech. (later on I will post pictures of both FULL SPEECHES(movie +book), it's okay if you don't want to come out, whatever you feel is alright. You don't owe anything to anyone, not your friends, family or co-workers, or schoolmates, no matter what the world around you makes you feel.

you matter, you're important, you're loved, and whatever you decide it's okay.

MOVIE VERSION SPEECH:

BOOK VERSION SPEECH:

♥

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A post shared by GAY TIMES (@gaytimes)

+

+we need MORE bisexuality in media!!

+ also queer history/facts from RWRB(Alex engaging with queer history)(thank you SO. MUCH. CASEY MCQUISTON!!)-GREAT POST here on tumblr!!-many links here, lots of information! (Waterloo Vase, Stonewall, SCOTUS decision 2015, Walt Whitman, Laws of Illinois 1961, The White Nights Riots, Paris Is Burning, THAT David Wojnarowicz photo 'If I Die Of AIDS-Forget Burial-Just Drop My Body On The Steps Of The F.D.A' https://www.tumblr.com/yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere/757305651356729344?source=share (I encourage you to research more about David!!) , Thisbe & Pyramus, The V & A, James I & George Villiers and MORE!!) https://www.tumblr.com/yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere/757308307835895808?source=share (Learning about things referenced in Red, White & Royal Blue, thank you @ elipheleh)

+important reading about AIDS/HIV: https://www.goodreads.com/review/list/139102124?shelf=about-aids-hiv

+ a special episode where we hear(literally) from listeners of the show who were lovers, nurses, relatives, students, and friends of people who died from AIDS. (have tissues nearby):https://open.spotify.com/episode/4rTjExVqMVoEtCVPISSW5t?si=Dx09EVStQAiNHoTYvwZvFw & https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-a-bit-fruity-with-matt-ber-117844074/episode/stories-from-the-aids-crisis-191687576/ +ofc THIS ep w Peter Staley :https://open.spotify.com/episode/1bpmgbS56oqjpLdhFqPhFQ?si=PKVw0V_MRx-ajGmVF-GM4Q (this ep of the podcast vid on ytube link in the post linked below/also ep on iheart link below as well!)

(+IMPORTANT) (Nov,2023)-A Bit Fruity Podcast (created by Matt Bernstein (gay American Jewish man) Ep with Moe Dabbagh, a gay Palestinian American with family currently in Gaza. ‘Queers for Palestine & The Power of Pinkwashing’. Palestine has been occupied for more than 76 years now, since 1948 year. This ep gives you a LOT of information, especially if you are one of the people who can’t see right through the propaganda; or the ones who go ‘well if you’re gay then go to Gaza and see how that goes for you’. Queer Liberation is a liberation of Palestinian people. We can’t have one without the other. Free Palestine. Free all the people that are not yet free. This is where we start!! Ep on youtube :https://youtu.be/Xsgdk-DDSXc on spotify :https://open.spotify.com/episode/62WOjKJYih6lhuisP8tmZH?si=soRArGs1QeWqEzEaiSVlUg on iheartcom:https://www.iheart.com/podcast/269-a-bit-fruity-with-matt-ber-117844074/episode/queer-palestinians-the-power-of-129612460/(keep learning & keep showing up!)

!!.http://alqaws.org/siteEn/index & https://queersinpalestine.noblogs.org/ + https://www.instagram.com/queersinpalestine/

+THIS(more important things):

+ https://www.queeringthemap.com/

bi ig highlight : https://www.instagram.com/stories/highlights/18280848235083086/

also i recommend this podcast ‘A Little Queer Podcast’ by two incredible bisexual people Capri Campeau and Ashley Whitfield. episode linked here, ‘Debunking Bisexual Myths and Stereotypes’ :https://open.spotify.com/episode/3wcP8HBIY0IyVxROjpZPNg?si=TIHDv-eFQi-mdsCS6zKzNA (all covered here for real!) +also check ‘A Bit Fruity Podcast’ by Matt Bernstein (very educating one!!) + Bisexual Brunch Podcast (UK) by 3 bisexual people, 2 men and 1 woman! here:https://open.spotify.com/show/3tH2DAjYrk2cXdYRSqt5nS?si=2ae6bb60b1534366

.

.https://ew.com/taylor-zakhar-perez-honors-nicholas-galitzine-entertainers-of-the-year-2024-8759399 +CAST OF RED WHITE & ROYAL BLUE |FYC Panel - Consider Amazon:https://www.tumblr.com/yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere/769737016086839297?source=share

BOOKS TO LEARN MORE ABOUT BISEXUAL HISTORY & ACTIVISM:https://www.tumblr.com/ruimtetijd/686000390089621504/list-of-books-about-bi-history-and-activism-from &https://www.goodreads.com/review/list/139102124?shelf=bi-bisexual-characters-done-well

let’s talk about biphobia/Kit Connor (Max Hovey TikTok) important video:https://www.tumblr.com/yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere/770851818143186944?source=share +Bisexuality has never excluded trans and non-binary people. Please stop spreading this lie. It actively harms trans/n-b bi people and bi people with trans/n-b partners. STOP BI ERASURE :https://www.tumblr.com/yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere/770848612526735360?source=share + WHAT IS BISEXUAL ERASURE:https://www.tumblr.com/yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere/770848534830399488?source=share + ‘ANYTHING THAT MOVES’ ATM 90s Bisexual Magazine is Shockingly Relevant Today--- Despite the joy of reading this bi-centric work, however, it's telling how little has changed since 1991--The first several stanzas of "This Poem Can Be Put Off No Longer" by Susan Carlton, featured in the first issue of 'Anything That Moves.' Credit: Anything That Moves / The poem continues, but the point is clear from the start: Bisexual people aren't believed for who they are. They're belittled and told to "choose a side," that they're bisexual for attention. It's difficult to think that this poem is over 30 years old. The poem "truly could've been written yesterday... or 50 years ago," said Marshall. "How long do we have to keep screaming the same things to the world over and over until people stop pretending we're speaking another galaxy's language?" --- The solace of Anything That Moves, however, is that even though progress has been slow, fellow bisexual people can relate to the shared experience detailed in its pages.:https://www.tumblr.com/yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere/770848263124500480?source=share

.https://anythingthatmovesarchive.carrd.co/ &https://anythingthatmovesarchive.carrd.co/#scans &https://anythingthatmovesarchive.carrd.co/#about

THIS song (bi bi bi THIS IS OUR SONG!!) by Sub-Radio (the lead vocalist Adam Bradley is bisexual♥) :https://www.tumblr.com/yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere/765512527066087424?source=share &https://www.tumblr.com/yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere/765512891127480320?source=share + THIS BAND SINGING THE BLACK PARADE but make it ever more queer pride parade♥ :https://www.tumblr.com/yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere/765565710891155456?source=share &https://www.tumblr.com/yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere/765565917201612800?source=share (you’re scaring Ron you’re scaring Rooonn) + an awakening with HSM(?) :https://www.tumblr.com/yourartmatters-itswhatgotmehere/765565797378719744/mndvx-subradioband-happy-pride-yal-anyone?source=share

[twopoppies]

x

[…] We’ve read so much about it, heard so much about it, yet somehow people like Billy Porter pop out of the woodwork every 6 months to accuse Harry Styles of exploiting queer people. Aside from being so utterly boring, these bad faith criticisms have lately taken on a malicious edge.

[…] Clearly, attempting to fit his sexuality into a precise box and be defined by it did not serve Bowie well. He later called his coming out “the biggest mistake I ever made” and that by being reduced to his sexuality, “it stood in the way of so much I wanted to do.” To me, it’s clear that Harry Styles, who is often discussed in the same breath as Bowie, is simply treading more carefully. He says he doesn’t label himself, he loves who he loves at his own discretion, and his fashion is extraneous to this. For some people Styles’ firm refuting of labels isn’t enough, which takes this discourse onto the slipperiest of slopes.

Putting pressure on a celebrity to address their sexuality in terms more suited to their fan base and the industry is depressingly familiar. Kit Connor of Heartstopper fame came out last Halloween, tweeting, “back for a minute. i’m bi. congrats for forcing an 18-year-old to out himself. i think some of you missed the point of the show. bye.” It was a full-throated indictment of the toxic side of the Heartstopper fandom, who interpreted the show’s warm message of inclusivity as the green light to go on a merry witch hunt for any potentially straight cast members. The entire affair hurt Connor, as would any induced coming out, and it’s an example of what happens when the Internet insists upon knowing who’s shagging who.

Porter’s recent comments are not the first time he’s criticised Styles and they espouse exclusivity in the name of inclusivity. He refers to Styles “using my community”, as if queerness or gender nonconformity is a members’ club Styles is gatecrashing. His point about Styles’ whiteness and beauty playing a prime part in his position as the first man to cover American Vogue is obviously correct, but it is not for Porter to proclaim who is in the ‘community’. There is no hierarchy within queerness or gender nonconformity and Porter is wrong to claim there are “leaders of this de-gendering of fashion movement” because the de-gendering of fashion is something that has existed since fashion began. It has no leaders because it’s literally just clothes.

This article is about far more than just Billy Porter (as the video above addresses very well). But this part stood out to me and I thought was worth highlighting.

Full article here