#kira's brain

[kiradrabbles]

guys help me. Mutual from my main followed this account and now it says we’re moots 😭😭

do I unfollow them or reveal my identity…… I was planning to befriend them too they’re cool asf……

[atompalace-official]

Pokémon x Precure 🎀🍰💕 Cure Whip, Sylveon Shortcake style!

[eyefoes]

She's a killer queen...

[skywerse]

🔥🦄

[sototallynormaliswear]

teen wolf movie au where at the end Stiles Isaac and Kira show up like "AYYY WHERES OUR FAVORITE HALE (eli) WHOS THE FUNERAL FOR actually why is Allison alive what happened we've been gone like a week"

and stiles brings Derek back to life while Isaac and Kira are both being Eli's irresponsible uncle

[corviiids]

ok hear me out about this vaguely Your Name inspired lawlight au told via notes they leave each other while bodyswapped

[tues-dayy]

the brain rot has fully set in; i cannot stop thinking about them

[walkingstackofbooks]

"Are you happier? Now that the war is over?"

It had been meant as a serious question, but from the look on Kira's face, she hadn't caught onto that. "What sort of question is that, 'am I happier'?" she asked, laughing a little as she spoke. "Of course I am! Who isn't?"

Shrugging, Julian forced himself to smile back at her. "No, of course," he agreed. "Silly question."

His smile clearly hadn't been convincing: Kira's own smile had faded as she looked at him more closely, her eyebrows creasing into a frown.

"Have I done something to make you think I'm not?" she asked sharply. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"No-- no, nothing like that," Julian said hurriedly. "I mean, obviously Odo's gone now, and Keiko and the Chief, and Worf, and... and the Captain... But that-- That's different, isn't it, I guess. You can be sad and happy at the same time, right?"

He cringed, knowing that he hadn't quite managed to make sense there: years of practice had made him very good at recognising Kira's 'baffled' expression.

"All these years," said Kira, slowly shaking here head, "and I still don't understand you, sometimes. Of course I miss Odo, and the others -- and while we're at it, of course I'm still angry and-- and upset about the things that happened during the war..." She made a face, banging her fist lightly against the table. "Damn you, you know I'm no good with feelings, that's... there's a lot more there, besides," she added. "And I'm sure as hell not going into that right now...

"But if you're asking whether I'd rather be here, now, living without the threat of the Dominion or the Cardassians, knowing my friends are alive and safe -- and if they're not, at least being able to mourn them in peace, not having to make decisions that could get us all killed if it goes even slightly wrong... or if I'd rather be back there, in the war -- well. It's no contest, is it?"

"In theory, no, of course--"

"In theory?" Kira asked incredulously. "Julian, are you saying you were happier in the war?"

"No!" he exclaimed: that hadn't been what he'd meant at all. "The war was-- it was... Well, you couldn't be happy during the war, could you? Everything was too awful, it was impossible."

"A lot of the time, yeah," Kira said softly. "And that's gonna stick with us for a long time -- but they're only memories, now. We made it."

"We did," Julian said quietly, his eyes fixed on the table. "I just... I thought I'd be happier, I guess. Now that it's all over."

Kira reached forward, brushing her hand over his. "That's what this is all about?" she asked. "You aren't happy?"

"I never said I'm not," Julian objected hotly, looking back up at her -- but a sigh slipped out of him as he realised he didn't actually have an argument, and he shook his head, slumping back into his chair. Kira watched him, not saying anything.

"No, you're right," he admitted, pulling his arms across himself, almost too tight. "I know I'm supposed to be-- I know, after everything, it's so stupid... But, Nerys, I don't-- I don't think I am?"

Stopping to swallow the lump that had risen in his throat, he noticed he eyes had grown wet, which for some reason made him chuckle. "Isn't that silly?" he asked, leaning forward again. "We won the war, but I'm still not happy."

"No, Julian," Kira replied slowly. "I don't think that's silly at all. It's just... It's just very, very sad." She took a breath, reaching out to hold both his hands this time. "I'm sorry," she continued. "I didn't know."

"It's not your fault," he said, squeezing her hands tightly. "For a while, I just thought everyone else was pretending, too, so I just went along with it... And then I started to realise that no, you were all actually at least a little bit okay, and so I had to keep pretending, because happiness is so fragile and I didn't, you know, want to make anyone else feel bad just because I..."

He trailed off, shrugging a little. "I don't know, Nerys. I guess I just wanted to check that it wasn't just me, but it is just me, and now I've told you, and I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel bad--"

"Julian, no," Kira interrupted. "Thank you for sharing this with me -- I'm glad you told me, okay?"

Ears growing hot, Julian ducked his head, not quite sure to do with the wave of emotion spilling over him. Now that he'd told her some of it, he kind of wanted to let everything out. Distractedly, he started tracing patterns on her hands, pushing into them with increasing intensity.

"It's just-- I'm just..." He stumbled over his words, struggling to give voice to the one thought that he'd been trying to ignore for months. "What if this is it for me? What if I'm like this forever? It's been years, Nerys--"

To his horror, his voice cracked, and he covered his mouth, trying to hold back the sobs that were threatening to burst out. Hoping that no-one else had noticed, he looked around the replimat; thankfully the other diners seemed more interested in their own conversations than in him and Kira.

"Would you like to go somewhere less public?" Kira asked. Not quite trusting himself to speak, he nodded, and together they left the replimat.

As they walked down the promenade and up to the habitat ring, Kira steered clear of their previous conversation, chatting about the station, her week, her latest grievance with Quark, and Julian was grateful for the respite. But as soon as they were sat down in her quarters, she turned to him with a most serious expression.

"It isn't right, you feeling like that, you know," she said. "I don't have the answers, I don't know how it gets better -- but we both know someone who would. You haven't tried telling Ezri any of this, have you?"

Julian's stomach tightened: Ezri was the last person he wanted to have this particular conversation with. "Oh, yes, because that would go so well," he retorted sarcastically. "Hi Ezri, I love you, but you don't make me happy. Don't worry, it's not you, I'm just unhappy most of the time. Most of the time? Yeah, it gets better when I'm around you, because then I just kind of feel... nothing. What an improvement!"

"Julian..." whispered Kira, but it was all coming out now and Julian couldn't make it stop. He rose from the sofa, starting to pace as he spoke.

"Did you ever make me happy? Maybe, sweetheart, but I'm not even certain of that. I might have been so desperate for anything even resembling happiness that I just deluded myself into thinking I was in love... Do I even love you? Who the fuck knows, Ezri. Is love even real, or did it die in the war along with every-fucking-thing else?"

His voice had risen louder than he'd intended, condemning him with every word it pushed forcefully into the air. He'd made Kira cry, he thought, but he couldn't quite be sure, his vision being clouded by his own mess of tears.

"How could I possibly tell her that?" he asked, sitting back down heavily, his voice dropping to a hollow whisper. "Kira, how the hell do I tell her that?"

"Come here," she said in way of a response, pulling him against her and holding him tightly, so that he could feel her lips move against his hair as she answered him. "I don't know," she was saying, "but you have to, Julian. I can be there with you if you want but, Prophets, Julian, you have to. How could you not?"

How could he not?

Julian closed his eyes and let himself fall apart against his friend, not even bothering to try to answer her. It was terrifying, after all this time, to finally allow someone to see how broken he really was, but he was far, far too tired to keep it in any longer.

[soutzouart]

Kirashino this… Kirashino that… WHAT ABOUT KIRASHINO ENDGAME KISS?!

Kira wins. He smooches Shinobu like a madman and she gives in.

[vaguely-concerned]

You're a coward. You're afraid to stand alone.

holy fuck. Julian 'I recognize my patient has made a decision. given that it's a fucked up decision I don't want staining my hands I have resolved to go machiavellian on it it to try to change it' Bashir (SO so deeply affectionate). he went up to the space pope and looked her in the eye and called her a fucking coward to her face after mercilessly picking apart the realpolitik of the situation step by step. baby you and your dubious medical ethics are all to me.

[artandbrimstone]

the desire for change

[kiradrabbles]

hey guys should i start actually fucking posting again

[twolovelyberries]

I’M STILL IN LOVE WITH JUDAS BABY!

[fruchtfleisch-art]

If I do not draw an anime character in a skimpy, cheesecake-y outfit at least three times a year I will die, this is a real and true fact.

It's not like they're going to do much after this, though.

[basement3441]

...🍌

[shydroid3000]

I've been turning over a Lawlight fic idea in my mind where L drugs Light with psychedelics to see if it shakes anything loose. He couldn't officially use anything Light said during the experience as evidence, but he figures it could produce some solid leads to follow. (Idea was inspired by this fanart of L).

It is very interesting to me to think about how Light would react to psychedelics. Because, oh, the ways that boy's mind would torture him. All of the shit he represses and suppresses so hard. The guilt he runs away from... building a new world because nowhere in this world is far enough away.

Would that guilt spill out, even during Yotsuba when his memories around the DN are gone? Would he become just a sad, pitiable, scared little boy, asking desperately if he's good? Asking for his dad, his sister, his mom?

But not just the guilt... How would L react if Light started rambling about how much he wanted L to respect him? How much he *wanted* L? How when L said Light was his first real friend, Light felt the same. He doesn't know now why it was so impossible to say it then. Anyway, now that he thinks about it, he's probably in love with L.

Also, him seeing Ryuk around while high as fuck could have some funny possibilities haha. And would the handcuff chain freak him out at some point? Would he start to feel claustrophobic and trapped and beg pathetically for L to take it off?

I'm not sure if the drugging would be something that L would have the task force in on. Needing to convince Soichiro and the others, like with the solitary confinement or handcuffs or fake-execution. Or if L would just do it on his own (with only Watari's knowledge), slipping something into Light's drink one night after they go back to L's room.

Anyway, it's all loose and impressionistic in my mind right now. But I think I might write a one-shot about the scenario, because something about Light fucked up on psychedelics (with L as his fascinated and untrustworthy guide) is irresistible to me haha.