#kingshorse

[bucknastysbabe]

A day in the life of ✨Ser Criston Crispin Cole✨

The bestest kingsguard to ever and he doesn’t break vows or kill innocent people but has trauma and ptsd and a big throbbing ahem

Rating: Everyone

Tags: this is silly goofy, I even made some visuals, Criston rounds up the Targtowers, I finally gave a name to Aemond’s twin, Aemond’s irrational fears, Incel Knight has Issues, Aegon being a creature per usual.

Tagging some fools: @aemonds-holy-milk @aemonddtargaryen @fairysluna @arcielee @bambitas (ur man is trying)

“You what?,” he echoed to Aegon, laid out in the streets of Flea Bottom. While Aegon did appear as a piece of scud needing to be scraped off the cobblestone— Ser Criston gleamed in his armor and white cloak. White horse too. White horse armor. Totally not to overcompensate for anything like oath breaking and other heathenry.

The scud with blonde hair rasped, “I fucked an Ibbenese whore, she was a sight! You should’ve seen her hair, the bush, I needed a Dragonkeeper.” Criston held up his hand to silence the fool, growing disgusted. The prince laughed before vomiting right on the kingshorse’ lacquered hooves.

Ser Cole stared blankly, dreaming of nasty, awful things. That may include something along the lines of murder. Again. He didn’t mean to, okay? Criston got off the equine and kicked Aegon once for good measure. The idiot squawked, “Ow, fuck, I just emptied my guts! Hold on!”

The Dornishman ignored his prince’s whining and slung the wannabe jester up onto the hind of the horse. He sighed in annoyance, climbing back upon the destrier and riding back towards the keep. Aegon started up with a hoarse laugh. He rasped, “Y’know a little hair doesn’t hurt anyone Cole, I know you prefer yours on the Valyrian- CRISTONNNN!”

Criston smirked a bit having reached back and backhanding the Prince. Lovely Alicent granted him ‘any means possible’. Which mean he got to slap around Aegon for fun. It was quite a stress-reliever, truly. The eldest prince continued, “I’m still the prince you can’t just,” then again he was smacked in quick succession, “FUCKING QUIIIITTTT!!”

Ser Cole held back a chuckle at Aegon’s sniveling. They reached the keep now, Criston hauling the heir inside. Aegon whined, “Jus’ take me to my room you beast!” The brunette sighed, “No can do, you smell like the inside of a whaling barge. Since you enjoy fucking Ibbenese.”

“Don’t knock it til’ you try it,” the prince grumbled.

He was swiftly deposited into the baths. Criston felt he need to change his clothing now, the filth of Aegon smeared all over his clothes, horse, and soul. Yuck. He could die, honestly. Really wanted to awhile back but Alicent took pity and so forth.

The man ran a hand through his hair. He needed to go to the rookery now. Criston maintained a long-standing chat with the youngest prince, Daeron. The boy seemed to be relatively ‘normal’ compared to the rest of the Hightower Dragon breed. Smart, valiant, knowledgeable, lacking that murderous instinct and eternal burning fire of hatred that Criston and Aemond shared. The kid was off to a good start already.

Criston looked through the plethora of ravens once he arrived, shoving off the Maester trying to help. He knew their raven— it had a strange white feather on the left wing. He smiled when he spotted the feather in question, cheering, “Aha, told you.” The Maester grumbled under his breath. Criston ignored it.

But the Maester did say in case the reader was curious: “Oathbreaking dornish viper curly haired pretty face bitch monger of marcher spawn.”

Meanwhile the Kingsguard unrolled the little letter and read with a soft curl of his lips.

“Dear Ser Criston,

I hope to be able to see you at the next tourney, I heard about you rendering Breakbones to Brokenbones! How amazing your skills are. I hope to be as good as a jouster and knight as you one day….blah blah blah

I hate to ask this but the question has been at my mind. Mother may have got very intoxicated her on her visit with Gwayne and I a fortnight ago now? She may have slipped in a rant of anger? Not at you though. But I must inquire, family to family, I consider you Ser as family. Even if we have never met!

Did you actually bed Rh—nyr-?

No need to answer if I have offended, have a splendid day good Ser! xoxo Prince Daeron Targaryen.”

Criston’s smile slipped into a frown. He gazed blankly into the mid-distance. Then stepped towards the nearest opening.

He stepped back and sighed. That felt better. He turned to the Maester scattered on the floor, apologizing. Criston tried to hold a hand out for help but the little man hissed, “You have problems Ser! I do not need those demons that haunt you!”

Well. The prick wasn’t wrong. Criston had other things to tend to. He probably should go see Helaena and the children now. The white knight was a busy sort and not even Lord Commander! He could draw pride from that, standing a little taller after the blow in the letter.

Jaehaerys and Jaehaera played on the floor with a handmaiden. Criston took a moment to pause. Aegon must’ve named the children. Why didn’t he get somewhat creative? He paused again. Helaena would’ve likely named the twins Spider and Spiderette so he’d just move on now, yep, nothing new with the Hightower Targaryens.

He looked at the handmaiden and inquired, “Where is the princess?”

She pointed to the opened door to the balcony. Criston sighed and walked out there to see her leaning precariously over the sides. His eyes widened and he ran over to yank her back. Helaena shrieked and yelped, “Do not move your feet! Don’t!” She still was in his arms, legs jerked up as she frantically looked around.

Criston stayed still, out of fear of whatever bug or creature’s life. If he were to accidentally squish it— oh gods the girl would be bedridden for a week. Helaena whispered, “You messed me up! I almost had her!” The knight replied drily, “Had who, my princess?” The princess went on to ramble about some sort of Summer Isles beetle.

Criston just stood like an idiot until there was a creeping on his neck. He hissed urgently, “I believe you should check my nape for your creature!”

Wide eyes stared. “Your what?”

“The fucking beetle is crawling on me! I do not wish to die a violent death princess!”

“Oh!”

The legs on his neck were removed and Helaena cradled a fierce looking orange beetle. Criston lowered her gently down, backing away. She chirped, “That would’ve hurt worse than three arrows sticking out of your head.” Criston shivered as blank eyes flicked up at him before back down to her pet. Now he was fit to ruin his breeches. Helaena sometimes scared him witless.

“Thanks Ser Cole, you did end up helping. The children are alright if that’s what you inquire,” she murmured while walking inside, him following her indoors. Criston nodded, still feeling strange. The princess smiled, “I need to return this beauty to her enclosure, thank you!”

He might have walked a little faster than what was reasonable out there. The arrows comment worried him more than the time she told Criston he should beware a ball of Butchers. He had no clue what the hell she meant but whatever! The dornishman would like to die without arrows or anything like a ball of butchers but that was up to the gods.

He sighed and decided to head to his quarters to rest a moment— he rarely received any these days. Criston wearily plodded to his cot and flopped down, just closing his eyes a bit.

SER CRISTON WAKE THE HELLS UP!

Criston sat upright, swinging at whatever was yelling at him, eloquently replying, “Baahmnnfhgh!” He stopped swinging when Aemond’s twin Valaerys cursed, “I’m not the damn villian, come with me!” She held out a gloved hand and he let the younger princess lead him out of the White Sword tower at a breakneck pace.

“Val, what is exactly the matter here, why are we running!”

She hollered over her shoulder, “Aemond is about to take off on his beast because he got a letter!”

“A letter? That’s silly!”

They took the hidden stairs down to the beaches. Val, Criston’s reluctant favorite, elaborated, “A letter from the bastards, asking about his fear of birds, and they may have put a dead bird in a package? I don’t know he was yelling and squawking all over the place!”

The knight exhaled sharply. He gets good sleep for once and it’s expended on the second son getting his feelings hurt. Well. Cole did kill a man for reminding him of his own hurt feelings. But that’s beside the point, he was sad okay? He felt like a dirty whore that night. No one needs to be the dirty whore!

“Okay, so Aemond’s supersized ego has been punctured because the bastards are aware of his fear of birds? Are you being serious Val?”

She stopped him dead in his tracks and hissed, “When am I not serious Cole? Really? Come on.”

Criston tried to hold back an erection. She was a force when angry. Alas, Valaerys was too young, too outside of his OATH, too hot in a pair of leather leggings- oh Godsdammit. He blinked the thoughts away and followed her to the beach head.

They stopped in their tracks to watch the second son holler at the sea, long blonde hair flipping to and fro. Criston and Val shared a look, watching the scene unfold of Aemond practically hopping in anger, hands fisted.

Criston recognized too much of himself in the angry lad. He hollered, “Quit yelling and come over here!” Aemond stopped throwing his fists and turned sharply. He hissed, “This has nothing to do with you two!”

Criston crossed his arms and replied, “Yes it does, your angry actions could affect the King’s health. I am the Kingsguard and therefore need you to come over here.” Val added on, “And you look like a crazed lunatic yelling at the ocean. Reminds me of the time Uncle Daemon got banished. Again. Rolling in the ocean weeping and such.” Criston grimaced at the thought of the melodramatic Prince, perverted freak.

Okay maybe he was one too but he slipped up once! Stop judging him!

Aemond huffed and stomped over, thin lips turned down as he glared. His lanky arms were firmly crossed over his chest. The prince managed, “I’m not afraid of birds. They’re fucking with me. I need to shame them and their puny dragons.”

Criston clasped a hand on Aemond’s shoulder, sighing, “You are afraid of birds, it’s alright son. But don’t go on the beast to burn Dragonstone, you’d be a bit outnumbered. Besides you’re much better a sword fighter and leader than those mongrels.” Valaerys nodded in agreement, braids bouncing.

Aemond took a look at the ocean and back to Criston, scoffing, “You’re right, I shouldn’t lower myself to childish antics. Oh and Cole, don’t move please. I think she smelt Dornish.”

Criston stiffened up suddenly. When did he not notice the looming figure and hot breath flapping his hair and cloak around. Val stifled a giggle, merlot eyes flashing. Vhagar’s big old ass was right behind him, ready for some scorched dornishman. Criston whispered angrily, “Get your damn dragon Aemond! That thing still thinks we’re in a war and you’re Visenya minus an eye!”

Aemond scoffed indignantly, “Vhagar is much smarter than that! She chose me!,” the blonde grumbled, “She does probably smell Dornish. Apologies Cole.”

Val snickered again before jolting upright when Vhagar made a particularly hungry noise. Aemond hollered at the thing in High Valyrian, waving his arms and pointing back to her spot carved on the beach. Criston shivered, eyes darting to the dragon and back to the princess.

The dragon snarled and huffed, Criston wincing before he heard heavy footfalls and the dragging of her tail. Vhagar was leaving the trio alone. The white knight swore on the Seven he would NEVER be that close to that BEAST ever AGAIN.

Aemond smiled, “There we are, didn’t need the help but here we are. Good night Ser Criston, night my sweet hell bitch sister.” Val rolled her eyes and made a bird noise, flapping her arms at the man. Aemond sniffed and hustled away, a certain stiffness to his posture. He’d go do…whatever Aemond did in his spare time.

Criston let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding and sagged. He looked at Val’s amused expression and mumbled, “You got any problems?” She procured a wine-skin from under her dark cloak and hummed, “Some wine that needs to be emptied. Let’s get out of here before Vhagar decides to have a Dornish snack. I don’t think I have the skill to play Rhaenys.”

He shot back as they entered to tunnels, “You’re much too mean to play her. Anyways what’s the vintage?”

“Dornish Sangria, what else would you think,” she said, raising a sharp brow. Criston eyed Valaerys and praised the princess, “See, this is why you’re my favorite. Don’t have to deal with nonsense. I almost threw up on Aegon. Horrid.”

“Do tell me all about your wonderful day, probably more interesting than mine good Ser.”

They sat on a ledge, far away from Vhagar, and shared the wineskin. Criston felt okay with his day, nothing much but honest work. Somewhat. One can never be fully honest in the Red Keep. He took a sip and the corners of his lips turned up.

[unboundtravels]

‘ you’re just another set of bones to lay to rest . ’ ( for One )

𝐥𝐲𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐬  𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 :  𝐩𝐢𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐞  𝐭𝐡𝐞  𝐯𝐞𝐢𝐥  — [Accepting]

@brutalage

The comment irked her to some degree, though her poker face remained impenetrable. She looked toward Savage with a disinterested look, through narrow eyes. She saw how little she thought of him. Just some crazy crackpot, he was probably thinking. She could see it in his eyes, the way he measured her up to standards he had set via his own expectations for this planet. For this world. It was here that she began to realize that Vandal Savage had not been measured against her standards... for all of the worlds she had been too. She took a sharp inhale, sitting in the chair near his fireplace... in his home... in his study. In his trophy room. She had made the great Vandal Savage and all his mansion's staff, all the kingsmen and kingshorses... look like great big fools. She should be giddy at this sort of thing. She should be excited and giggly like she usually is.

Not bored...

and yet she was. She was bored of him. He imagined he was big. This man across from her imagined that he must be the center of the universe. This man must've imagined that in the great, long, unending list of conquerers— that his name would leave an impression. It was boring. Simply boring. All due to the fact that she had seen this act done before across several civilizations and times. She knew it by heart. This disgusting ideology that only one singular being can be ruler of all. That one man can be the god-king emperor. Her eyes narrowed, as she sat lounged, leaning back in the chair within his study. Her legs were crossed over one another, her elbow resting on the armrest and her fingers covering her mouth as she stared quietly, through narrow eyes.

She must remind him of his place. 

She moved to rest both of her arms against the armrest, fingers dancing on the edge before firmly tightening. Her legs uncrossed as she braced herself to stare firmly. She took in one exhale, turning her nose up just a bit at him. Finally, she stood, and slowly. Then it happened, inch by inch... moment by moment passed... the room growing heavier, until this sudden chill ran down... the fire in the study beginning to go out.

The two were in darkness. Pale moonlight streamed through the curtains, but it was total darkness. The Doctor rested her fingers softly against her lapel, before silently and slowly... one hand sunk down to her side. She had no weapons, and yet she was prepared to shoot down Vandal Savage. Her imposing nature, her chill. Vandal Savage was not in the room with The Doctor. No. He was in the room with someone who was eldritch in their nature. Someone very old and endless. A woman who had lived much longer than him, and had seen much more. Someone who had seen the turn of the universe, and had known from the very start her place in it all. Despite knowing her fate, this figure still warped destiny to her own desires, fighting it day and night... and winning. 

The slowly growing shadow behind her choked out the pale light from the edge of the curtain. A trick the figure had picked up over her long travels: the ability to use her mind like a scalpel... and right now, her cuts were precise and methodical. Her eyes and their piercing white glow seemed to be the only other light in the room when the chill darkness snuffed everything else out... aside from, again, a few streams of moonlight from behind the curtain. She took something from her coat pocket, resting it between her fingers and caressing her thumb over it, but never taking her eyes off of Savage... keeping his locked on her...

Until she spoke...

And her voice carried her words with a weight that perhaps even not the immortal self-proclaimed king could lift. 

"You are small." 

[danzigsbabe]

Glenn Danzig & Mike Bucayu from Kingshorse

Photo from: (?) David Blanchard

[haneyhayespromotions-blog]

● #NewRelease ● #KingsHorses by #LanaSky #SavageFallsDuet 

Genre: #DarkRomance 

The harder the fall… 

https://www.haneyhayespromotions.com/2019/04/kings-horses-new-release.html 

Hosted By: #RRRRromotion #ReadReviewRepeat

[joyffree]

#NewRelease #OnSale #Giveaway → http://bit.ly/2UMKwnx Title: King's Horses Series: Savage Fall Duet #2 Author: Lana Sky Genre: Dark Romantic Suspense The harder the fall… Ten years ago, Snowy Hollings betrayed the love of her life… Or did she? Blake Lorenz has finally broken the Hollings heiress but revenge doesn't taste quite as sweet as he'd hoped. And as the murky depths of his past begin to come to light, the more he's forced to realize that he may have made a grave mistake. …the more brutal the redemption. Destitute and disillusioned, Snowy is trying her best to piece her broken heart back together. But Blake isn't the only man on her trail, desperate to claim her. No good deed goes unpunished, after all. And the truth has a way of destroying even the most resilient of hearts… #KingsHorses #SavageFallDuet #DarkRomance #Suspense #LanaSky #OnSale #99c @GiveMeBooksPR and @lanasky101

[helenabrennan]

It has been 104 years to the day since Emily Davison died, go vote! #ge17 #pollingday #pollingstation #generalelection #govote #vote #suffragette #kingshorse (at Neville's Cross)

[1swiftie13]

THIS SONG HAS MADE ME A PUDLLE ITS SO GOOD ALL THE KINGSHORSES AND ALL THE KINGSMEN COULDNT OUT ME TOGETEHR AGAIN STOPPPPPPPPP

[anafrinaa]

Ditched by someone who i thought was my best friend,cried about it everyday. He once replied to my story

" all the kingshorses, all the kingsmen, couldn't put me together again"

By saying that, 'i could be one of the kingsmen'

Little do you know, the lyrics come after that is

" cuz all of my enemies started out friends"

[katsufinojutsu]

humpty Dumpty

You know..maybe there was another version of humpty Dumpty and why a fragile egg like that would be sitting on a wall where all he knows he might fall and crack himself up. So I actually came up with a poem. Its not good, I know cause Im not a writer but just wanna put it in the archive.

Wall so high, no edges to climb.Even humpty dumpty couldn't occupy. All the kings' men and the all kings' horses came by. Even they themselves wouldn't give it a try. How could a queen not be dignify, by her past. Shes like an emperor butterfly. Rare, but her heart blue as the sky. Humpty was so, mistified. But a dumpty he climbed. A dumb-ty he tried. For the heart of the queen is what he ace for. Believe me, He had never done this before. Only been A loner since forever more. He tries to break a wall so tough. Build by the queen , he had enough. Humpty climb that almighty wall.For thousands of men had tried but fall. And all gave up for they were appalled. Needless does he know , this walls were made, from broken trust and feelings untamed. He climb and push, he hanged like a unwire bush. Determination set him up, but fate brought him down. Humpty reached the top, To see the other side of the ground . A  beautiful sunflower sat all along. She sang a song. A sad sad song. A strong wind and rain came along. so Humpty tried to reach for her. He tried his best to save her .He try to reach, further and further. Till he slipped off. that's where he brought his own murder . All his efforts had gone to waste . As he took a last view of her beautiful but sad face. As he took a last look and, he said. If only she would ,let me in. If only I could answer her  call. I would have given my upmost all, but now Im just, A Humpty dumpty who set on a wall,

Humpty dumpty had a great fall, All the kingshorses and all the kingsmen ,Couldn't ever put humpty dumpty back ever again. 

[aimeelou-tog]

😍 #icecream #parlour #hungryhorse #kingshorse #stafford #pub (at King's Horse, Stafford)

[joyffree]

#CoverReveal → Title: King's Men & King's Horses Series: Savage Fall Duet Author: Lana Sky Genre: Dark Romantic Suspense The more treacherous the lie… Ten years ago, Snowy Hollings did the unthinkable: she betrayed the love of her life. Now, when her family's fortune is decimated overnight, the popular socialite is in for a rude awakening: you reap what you sow. …the harder the fall. This story contains dark, disturbing subject matter not suitable for those under 18 years of age #SavageFallDuet #KingsMen #KingsHorses #LanaSky #DarkRomance @GiveMeBooksPR and @lanasky101

[aimeelou-tog]

Amazing #cakeaway at the #kingshorse #hungryhorse in Stafford. I had a slice of the Jaffa cake and it was beautiful! (at King's Horse, Stafford)