#kinda wrote this shit in a moment of weakness and now i’m low key part of the hobbit/lotr fandom again

[cascade05]

Is anyone else obsessed with poetic compliments?

Like… not just calling someone pretty but…

“His hair was like snow and his skin like frost. He looked like a creature made of porcelain moonlight with eyes like glistening stars. Words could not describe how ethereal he looked when basking in the moon’s gentle glow,” she spoke softly.

“And I remember him that way. A man made of stardust, a man who looked to be the very moon itself...”

“I find him in the moon because that was always what he was to me. The moon, soft and gentle. He was brighter than anyone else, as if he belonged in the heavens not on earth as a man, but in the sky as a celestial body.”

“He is the moon in the sense that his pure and beautiful…”

She swallowed thickly, voice soft and tender as she spoke again. “And he is the moon in the sense that he is far out of my reach,” she whispered, a single tear falling from her eye.

And not just saying you like someone’s strength or that you think they’re handsome but…

“You say that as if you don’t look like a fallen star.”

“What do you mean by that?”

She smiled softly, kissing the tip of his perfect nose as her hands moved down his neck then to his shoulders.

“Dark,” she whispered, kissing his jaw, “perfect,” she kissed his neck, “and pure,” she kissed his throat softly.

“It’s as if the sky fell onto earth,” she whispered, her lips ghosting along his throat as her hands skipped over his wounded chest and gently moved against his stomach.

“A man made of steel and rock, my own meteor,” she breathed against him, kissing his collarbone.

“My own piece of heaven.”

Cause shit like that just makes me 🫧🫧🫧🫧🫧 frreeal

[centhands]

Truth or Dare - Noah Centineo Smut

AN: OK YA’LL, SO I haven’t written a fic or one shot in about, oh god I don’t know, SEVEN FUCKING YEARS?!?!?!?!? I was all about hazza back in the day but tbh there is some SERIOUS DIRE NEED for NOAH FUCKING CENTINEO SMUT on here and I cannot believe I wrote one?? Just spent the last 3 hours on it, instead of sleeping. It might be bad but idk it’s at least ONE MORE NOAH SMUT SHOT?? Idk :///// lemme know what you think!! It’s super long pls bear with me I TEND TO ALWAYS WRITE NOVELS OH GEE LOOK AT THIS LONG AF AN!!

TLDR: you’re about to play truth or dare (kind of?????) with Noah fucking Centineo. PLEASE SIT DOWN BC FILTHY SMUT IS ON THE WAY!!!!
Hope you enjoy, let me know if you do!! (Pls message me I need friends and followers on tik tok, jk, only jking about tik tok, I really need friends

…………………………………………………………………….

You gazed at the clock once again, for the what was actually the thousandth time that night. 11:00PM on the dot. To make matters worse, it was a Friday. Not only could you not fall asleep for shit, but the daunting thought of being home alone on a Friday night, only made your insomnia worse.

You sighed as you rolled out of bed and walked lazily to your living room. As you plopped down on your couch, you decided to open up Instagram. While scrolling through your feed, you happened to notice you had a message notification. You clicked on it and instantly a smile lit up your face. A photo of your best friend, and roommate, Noah, with a sad, puppy dog face and a pair of nerdy 3D glasses. The simple message is what really did you in. “Wish you were here. Xo.”

You and Noah had been best friends for the last five years and have been living together for two. You’ve loved him since you met him. His gorgeous eyes, his toned body, his adorable, dorky smile, his hearty laugh. It all made you melt.

You were completely in love with him and he had no fucking clue.

It was absolutely frustrating, to be quite honest. At times, you get so fed up that you just want to pack up, leave, and go start over somewhere else, hoping you’ll forget all about Noah Centineo. Forget all the times he hugged you tightly and wiped your tears away as you cried. Forget all the movie and dinner dates you had gone on, one of the best parts being your spitball fights. Forget all those times he’d tell you he could never sleep, and he’d ask you to just lay with him until he dozed off, saying he just needed a quick cuddle before bed. Forget all of the little, most adorable, seemingly insignificant (but actually meant the whole world to you) moments you both had shared together.
But you knew there was no way that could or would ever happen. You were absolutely smitten.

You noticed he had sent that message over two hours ago. His guy friends had declared it their “Boys Night Out” and decided to go see a thriller 3D film. He looked so cute in those glasses..

You felt your phone buzz and noticed Noah had just texted you.

“Hey, you up? Be home in five. Let’s hangoutttttttttttt! :) Movie sucked. Should have just stayed home with you and watched Clueless for the 18th time. That bad.” He wrote.

You scoffed and instantly replied, “How dare you insult Clueless. Not sure if I can hangout with assholes who insult classic chick flicks.”

“I’ll have you know I’m well versed in chick flick classics. If you can honestly call that a classic….. yikes.”

You laughed, as you typed your response. “You’re evicted. Goodnight.”

“The lease is in my name, love. Let me in little bo peep, I’m outside.”

“We don’t take our keys anymore, now?” You inquired, as he strutted through the door, popping his collar to perfect his extra sassy entrance.

“Nope,” he said, popping the P, “I have them. Just wanted to annoy you and get greeted by your lovely face.” He said, wearing his proud smirk.

“Well, that trip from the couch to the front door made me tired. I’m going to bed,” You jokingly said, turning around to play into it.

“Noooooooo,” he whined, running over to you, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind you, “Be nice to me!”

You felt yourself getting weak in the knees, your head spinning and your stomach churning. You didn’t know how much longer you could possibly put off kissing this boy. Especially when he put on his cute act like this. He could be so sarcastic one minute and so fucking cute the next. How were you supposed to control yourself?

“Okay, okay,” you said laughing, collecting yourself after what felt like an hour but had only been a few seconds. “What should we do?”

“I think it’s been quite a while since a proper game of “Truth or Dare”, wouldn’t you say, (Y/L/N)?” He asked, winking at you. Oh, this fucking boy.

“Of all things to do on a Friday night at 11:15, you want to play Truth or Dare?” You asked, giving him only slight fake tude, crossing your arms over your chest while smiling at him.

He grinned. “As a matter of fact, I do. Sit down. I’ll start.” He finished, patting the spot next to him on the couch.

You rolled your eyes but listened anyway, getting comfy next to him while you waited for him to start.

“Y/N, truth or dare?” Noah asked, staring at you intently.

“Truth.”

“Do you still sleep with your nightlight?”

“Um, DUH! You know it gets way too dark in our apartment with these dark ass curtains you picked! I refuse to be tortured because you like to sleep in and not know the sun has risen!”

“That was obviously a touchy subject. My girl thinks the curtains are too dark. Noted.” He laughed as he spoke, obviously getting a kick out of you. He always did.

He would randomly throw in the, “My girl,” comment whenever you would get a bit snarky with him. He always pointed out how you two were already like a married couple. The playful banter would sometimes solicit him making those couply jokes, and as much as they made you melt, you would also realize it didn’t mean what it did to you, to him.

“Hello! Earth to, Y/N! It’s my turn!”

“Sorry. Uh, tr-Truth or dare, Noah?”

“Dare.”

“I dare you to go ding dong ditch someone on the 5th floor.” You said, looking down at the ground.

“Y/N, you’re so boring. And I’m way too cozy to be getting up for something so childish right now,” he smirked. “I might as well give myself a dare.”

“Well, why don’t you go on then, Mr. Too Cool For Lame Dares?” You chuckled, looking at him now.

He suddenly got a little more serious, which you knew meant business. He was always lighthearted and happy go lucky. Of course when situations called for it, he was an absolute rock. He gave the best advice, best pep talks and words of encouragement, and you always felt like you had someone on your side. Something must have been weighing on him.

He licked his lips before he spoke. He started slow, “Alright then,” he said, letting out a small nervous, and slightly unsure laugh. “I…. I Dare myself to kiss you, Y/N.”

“You.. what?” Had you heard him right?

“I dare.. I fucking dare myself to fucking kiss you. It’s all I’ve been wanting and needing. This has literally been on my mind for way too long now and it’s driving me crazy. You’re driving me crazy,” he rambled on, his eyes fixated on you for your reaction. “I can’t keep pretending like every time I see you, or every time we hug that I don’t just wanna hold your face and kiss the fuck outta you,” he finished.

You were stunned, mouth open. Speechless, really.

He cleared his throat, his voice sounding much raspier, and sexier, as he reinstated, “So, as long as you’re okay with it and maybe want that too, I dare myself to kiss you.”

“Noah.. I-Uh.. okay,” you silently answered, looking at him with big eyes. You didn’t know how to react, you were worried it was some kind of joke. It didn’t seem real. This handsome, amazing guy, wanting you just as much as you wanted him?

“Okay,” he breathed out a laugh; his breath had hitched as he answered.

He kept his eyes on you as you both slowly leaned in. You closed your eyes and the instant you did that you felt his lips on yours and honestly, you could have cried. Everything felt so right and everything was hazy. You felt yourself get more comfortable and more into the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck. His hands found your face, as he pulled away from you for a second, eliciting a quiet whimper from you.

“I cannot begin to express how long I’ve wanted this for. And I really cannot explain how beautiful I think you are. Everything about you, Y/N. You’re all I think about. All I thought about while watching that dumb movie was how small and delicate your hands are, how good your hair smells, how your smile literally lights up my day.” He then dropped the contact from your eyes to your neck as he dipped low and kissed your sweet spot. “How badly I want to be with you,” he continued on, sucking your neck a little bit this time. “How badly I need you.”

“Oh Noah,” you moaned, “I want you too. I want you to be mine. I want to be yours. I need you. I really fucking need you.” You were panting at this point, as he was still sucking your neck. You weren’t sure how but you realized at this point your fingers were wrapped between his curls and his breath was shaky against your skin.

“Fuck love. Are you sure you want this? I promise I do, I just want to be sure this is what you want too. I just want you happy, Y/N. I’ve been in love with you from the moment I met you, and I’ve been so nervous to fuck this up. I can’t lose you,” he said, looking back into your eyes, searching to make sure you were okay with what was about to happen.

His words had reassured you, and you finally felt a weight lifted off your shoulders. You gently kissed him, and felt him get into it, lips lightly caressing yours, tongue skimming your bottom lip. You pulled away to say, “I’ve never been so sure, Noah. I’m in love with you too. Always have been. Pretty sure I always will be. Kinda hoping that’s not too honest, but I’m just trying to keep it real,” you laughed a bit.

Noah laughed too, and replied, “You silly, silly girl. You think that honesty of yours isn’t one of the main reasons why I’m so head over heels for you? You’d have thought that in the five years you would have picked up a clue on one of my many obvious signs. Dork,” he teased.

Before you had a moment to retaliate, his hands wandered to your hips and he pulled you in for the most passionate kiss you’ve ever received. He kissed you so gently, yet so fervently, you felt your body turning to mush. He slightly tugged the tips of your hair and you moaned into mouth, allowing him access to slip his tongue in. His warm tongue glided over yours and softly caressed yours. He made you feel so fucking sexy by just kissing, you couldn’t imagine how he could make you feel kissing other parts of you or doing other things with other parts.

You’d only hoped you’d ever be able to find this out. It was your lucky fucking day.

You shifted your body to lay more into him and rested your hand in his lap, only to hear him let out a guttural moan. You’d been so into the heated kiss you hadn’t realized you were a bit further into his lap than you thought and you’d been grazing his dick.

This time, you smirked at him, and went right back in for the kiss, slightly palming him through his jeans, feeling him getting harder with each second that passed by.

“Fuck, Y/N, you make me fucking crazy. You make me feel so good,” he half whimpered, his voice, and his cock, straining.

“C’mere,” he muttered, easily picking you up and shifting you onto his lap. “That’s better,” he grinned cheekily, his hands now resting on your ass.

He put his hand behind your head and pulled you in for another hot kiss. He had one hand resting on your ass, and his other was used to tangle your hair around his fingers. He deepened the kiss by adding his tongue, and you felt your panties absolutely pooling. You needed friction and you were quite sure he definitely wouldn’t mind some.

You stood up, having to break the kiss and having Noah pout at you, to take off your pants. You went to get back on Noah, but he grabbed you gently to stop you. “Tsk, tsk,” he tutted at you. “I believe you’re still wearing too much clothing down there,” he said, pointing to your panties.

“Well, don’t you think the person who has a problem with them, should be the one removing them?” You quizzed, your voice sounding extra sultry and turning Noah on even more so if possible.

“That’s definitely,” he started, getting on his knees in front of you, his head right below your waist, “Not a problem.”

As he finished his sentence, you were a bit confused, but that only lasted a second. He made his way to the elastic band of your panties and locked his teeth into it, pulling them completely off, and pulling you back onto his lap, in one slow, seductive yet swift move.

“That’s better,” he sexily smirked, once again resting his hands on your, now bare, ass.

You decided to be the bold one, and begin to move on him, wrapping your arms around his neck. Slowly grinding down on his hardened cock over his jeans, the pressure feeling absolutely out of this world on your clit. You could tell Noah was into it too. Besides his hooded eyes resting directly on your face and his soft moans, his hands were pushing your ass back and forth on him and slightly down a bit, so it felt better for both of you.

You started slow, yes, but fuck, Noah was fucking packing and you couldn’t help but pick up the pace. You started grinding your hips faster, and that still wasn’t enough. Noah felt that you needed more so he pressed down a bit harder and pushed you a bit quicker back and forth over his cock. You couldn’t help but stare down at where your clit was rubbing his jeans and notice the big wet spot pooled on his pants. It felt so dirty, so raw, so fucking hot. Noah’s hands travelled to your tits, as he started to squeeze while you kept your fast rhythm, humping your bare pussy over his jeans.

“Fuck, Y/N.. I feel- I feel you through my jeans. You’re soaking. I need your shirt off. Now. Fuck,” he strained, his voice so raspy and needy.

He removed your shirt quickly, and proceeded to finally remove all of his clothes in one take. You took to your new found favorite place, yet again, on his lap and slowly lowered yourself onto him. You started grinding on his cock again, teasingly slow. The instant your dripping pussy touched his tip, he let out a moan from his belly, a long, dragged out, “Fuuuuuuuuuck.”

He flipped you over so you were beneath him on the couch. Both of you were silently thanking yourselves for deciding to purchase the couch from Ikea that turns into a flat sofa, big enough to be a bed.

He brought a finger to your mouth, in which you happily obliged and allowed him to put his finger tip in and you began to suck on it. He watched you from above, his mouth in a slight “o” shape, precum leaking from his dick from being so fucking goddamn turned on by you.

He removed his finger from your mouth and brought it between your legs and toyed with your slit, expertly gathering up your juices, and slowly bringing his fingers to your clit to rub circles.

“Noah, just like that. Right there. Feels so— yeah, feels so fucking good, Daddy,” you said, trying to wind him up. You had called him it as a joke previously one day during another playful fight, and he tensed up for a bit and shortly went to his room after. You now had a slight hunch as to why.

“Oh my god, Y/N. What are you doing to me?” He moaned, slipping a finger between your folds and then slowly entering your warm, wet, pussy. “You’re so fucking tight. God, I can’t wait to feel my girl wrapped around me. You’re gonna feel so good, love. I’m gonna make you feel so. Fucking. Good.” As he finished his sentence he gave you a couple of nice pumps with his fingers, as he added another one in somewhere along the way and it only heightened your pleasure.

You were a moaning mess and needed him. You weren’t beneath begging. In fact, it turned you on. You wanted Noah to have his absolute fucking way with you.

“Please, I need you Noah. I need you,” you whimpered, feeling his dick now pressed between your folds, slowly grinding up and down on your swollen clit.

“Mmmm, my girl is so polite right now, isn’t she?” He toyed, moving his head down to suck your nipple whilst staring at your eyes.

“Please, Noah. I need to feel your big dick inside me. I need you to fuck me so good that I can’t fucking walk after. I need you to be so deep inside me that all I know is you and your name. I need you to cum for me. Please,” you begged, whimpering as he was still sucking, and now moaning, on your tender nipples.

“You don’t have to fucking ask twice. Especially when you sound so sexy begging for me, love.” He stated, bringing his lips closer to your ear, “I’m going to be the best fuck you’ve ever had. You won’t remember anyone before me, and there certainly will be no one after me, I’ll make fucking sure, love. Grab my shoulders, babe. Or pull my hair. Your call,” he whispered, sucking your ear lobe at the end of his cocky speech. It only made you that much more soaked. You were dripping on his thigh that had been pressed between your legs during the duration. He also noticed this, as he said, “Mmmm, I love feeling you on my thigh. You’re fucking drenched.”

“All for you,” you whispered, totally out of breath at this point. How the fuck did you end up here, naked, under your best friend who you’ve been in love with for all these years, whose also naked and has just professed his love for you, as well? Um, WHO FUCKING CARES, WE GOT HERE!

He slipped a condom on and positioned himself at your entrance. “Like I said, let your hands roam wherever they choose. I’m gonna take you on the ride of your fucking life, princess.”

He slowly entered you, neither of you being able to contain the moans that erupted in your bellies. “Shit,” Noah whimpers, as one of his hands grabs onto the end of the couch, the other around your waist, “You feel so amazing. So warm, so wet. So. Fucking. Tight.”

He was all the way inside you, balls fucking deep. He slowly slipped back out and all the way back in, his cock caressing your insides and making you feel as though you could already cum all over him. You had your head in his neck as he continued pumping himself in and out of you, and you started sucking on his neck.

“Yeah, fuck, that feels so good. You feel so good. Fuck. I can’t believe we waited this long. I love you so much, Y/N. My god, fuck. You’re so fucking tight for me.” Noah said, panting after every other word.

“Oh, I love you too. So much. Shit, yeah Noah! Oh my god, right fucking there, Daddy! You feel so fucking good. Your big cock all the way inside my pussy, you get so fucking deep. My god, go faster. Yeah. Please, please keep fucking going,” you moaned, your voice definitely raising an octave.

“Fuck,” Noah whimpered, pumping faster to keep up with your demands, as he locks eyes with you, his mouth completely open as he slams in and out of you while keeping his fast pace. The couch is shaking and it’s only elevating the sex appeal of the entire situation.

Noah can tell you’re getting close, and he’s feeling like he could bust at any second, so he brings his fingers down to rub fast, hard circles on your clit, while he pumps quickly in and out of you.

“Fuck, Noah, yes. Oh my god, yessssssss! Keep fucking going, just like that,” you yell, turning Noah on more and more with each second that passes. He feels as though he can combust just fucking watching you. You’re absolutely perfect.

“Yeah, you like when I’m fucking you so hard and playing with that pretty pussy of yours? You like when I take care of you huh, my girl? I want you to let me know how fucking good you feel. Let everyone in the building know who’s making you feel this good, love. Cum on my cock, Y/N,” he panted and moaned, sounding just as close to his release as you were.

“Yeah Noah, you make my pussy feel so fucking good. Right there, you’re hitting my spot fuck. I’m gonna cum all over you, fuck. Oh fuck, yeah please, oh my god I’m cumming, Noah!” You yelled, definitely loud enough for all of the neighbors on the 7th floor to know exactly what you’re doing and whose doing it to you. You released all over him, your ears ringing and legs shaking. Your body felt ignited in a way you’ve never experienced before. You wanted him to cum so bad. You needed to see him cum. Ultimately, you needed to be the reason he had to cum. “Fuck, Noah, please cum for me. I need to watch you fall apart on top of me. I need you to show me how good I make you feel. Let me know how much you love my pussy,” you panted, pushing him to his release and his thrusts getting sloppier.

“Fuck, you’re so filthy. My feisty, dirty girl. Who knew you had such a filthy mouth? You’re gonna make me cum, Y/N. Oh fuck, yeah love, fuck I love you. Oh, yeah, shit,” Noah moaned, voice literally raspier than ever as he slammed his hand down on the end of the couch, gripping it for dear life. You felt his cock twitch inside you and his face scrunched up while he moaned inaudible words and chanted your name and he released into the condom, still inside of you, locking eyes with you just as he had cum but he had to close his eyes from the pleasure being so intense.

His body collapsed onto yours, and you wrapped your arms around him, as you both came down from your highs. He was silently tracing shapes on your arm while his head was resting in the crook of you neck, planting small kisses to the spots he had sucked on earlier.

As you both finally caught your breaths, he lifted his head and caught your eyes. He raised his hand to brush away a piece of hair that clung to your sweaty face, as he sweetly and softly laughed.

“I can’t believe I went to that dumb fucking movie and came home to tell you how in love with you I am,” he said, smiling down at you.

“All thanks to a solid game of truth and dare that hardly took off,” you chuckled, staring right back into his gorgeous, sweet eyes.

“Shit,” he said, realizing you hardly got through the game. He smirked, “Y/N, truth or dare?” He asked, as he grabbed your hand.

“I’m too tired for another one of your kind of dares.. Truth,” you said, snorting as you laughed.

He kissed you gently before placing his lips at your ear and whispered, “Will you be my girlfriend?”

[thefoxholecourttfc]

Okay guys HOLY FUCKING SHIT GO READ THIS RIGHT NOW! This is lucid prayers by @anddreil and it is insanely amazing. Two words: Nathan lives. Like that right there should tell you everything you need to know. It is hands down the best Baltimore au I have EVER read and has now become my number 1 favorite. I mean come on, who hasn’t secretly wanted Nathan to live simply to have a Nathan/Andrew standoff??? Me. I have. Best part? It’s like 5k, so you have no excuse. Drop your normal human tasks and requirements and go read this fic. Is it angsty? I’m not even going to answer that. Was Baltimore angsty? There is your answer. Are there tender and protective Andreil moments? Yes. 100%. There is protective Andrew, guys. Can it get any better???

Okay, while my emotional rant is all well and good, if you really wanna read an in-depth review of it, please see below the cut for my SPOILERS INCLUDED review. Basically go read this fic is all I have to say, because I still can’t get over it. I wanna go read it again...

(Also please be aware that I wrote this on AO3 on mobile right after reading the fic, so take that into consideration when reading. Also, “you” almost always refers to @anddreil, the author.)

When I read the summary for this fic I basically dropped all my commitments to read this because I instantly knew I would love it. You exceeded every expectation I had for this fic. Your wrote Baltimore at the beginning - literally the most overdone bit in thr fandom - but breathed new life into it, weaving in Andrew’s own terror and the rage he feels upon learning Nathan is alive as well as the fear he feels for Neil and because of Neil. This was Andrew’s POV, yes, but I never felt cheated out of Neil��s. I felt his fear, his pain, his numbness, his false facade of happiness, just as much as I felt Andrew’s resolve and commitment alongside his realization of his feelings for Neil. I felt Neil’s urge to run, to escape, because that is what he was taught, its how he was raised, not just to protect himself but also to protect the Foxes from his own true demon. I felt him struggle not to slip into Nathaneil and his reliance upon Andrew as a reminder of who he is and why he made the choice to stay. Andrew was his anchor. And oh boy, my favorite part: the bit where I realized that Andrew was going to possibly kill Nathan. And, as much as I wanted that - like, I wanted that A LOT - I ultimately realized he didn’t have that right. Neil is not and will not ever be a weak character. Andrew protects him, yes, but ultimately Neil is capable of protecting himself from his demons. He deserved to kill Nathan and I was glad you honored that (though can I have an HD full color wrfect audio movie of Andrew punching Nathan in his smug psychopathic face please???). And That Scene. Was. Amazing. Nathan was so in character, feeling in charge and in control to the last, even tied up and about to die, still spitting words of cruelty and degrading Neil (honestly Neil has an attitude problem but um...I think it is kinda genetic). And Neil. I absolutely loved how you gave him a gun, because guns were SUCH a major thing to him in the series. He slept with one under his pillow to make him feel safe and protected and it was guns that in canon killed his abusers and saved him. It was a gun that shot Riko. In essence, guns have always meant protection and freedom to Neil and you putting that gun into his hands let him take control of his own freedom, his own protection, for once pulling the trigger instead of other people pulling it for him. And okay yeah lemme just pop my favorite quote in here: 

“But - there are tears falling down his cheeks, dripping one by one. 

'Years of torture,' Nathan goes on, “And you still shed tears in the eye of your father’s death. Has nothing changed, after all these years? Are you that pathetic, Nathaniel?’

The name is like a bell chiming once, twice, three times.

Neil says, ‘These are tears of relief,’ and pulls the trigger. and pulls the trigger.”

 This. THIS! Tears of relief! Because Nathan truly, with all his nonexistent heart and soul believes that Neil will submit, that he is worthless and cowardly and won’t be able to do it. He doesn’t care that he is going to die because he knows it will only prove that his failure of a son is a useless coward. But Neil. Is. Not. A. Coward. He fought tooth and nail for his life, his name, his keys, his heart, his freedom, and his family, and he will be damned if he will let this man try to degrade all he has done. These are the words of a worthless man and Neil. Knows. This. And so he shoots Nathan, and cries tears of relief because finally, he is free. Finally, he ended his pain, his suffering, his demons, and he is free to choose his future and his path. His suffering was not in vain. And at the end, when he tells Andrew this, it was the words of a man who had arisen to Heaven after a lifetime in Hell. Neil wasn’t just free. He was free because of his own actions. And that made all the difference in the world, because in the past every action he made was to keep running and survive. He could never truly escape because he never believed that he could ever do anything to truly be free. But by killing Nathan, the monster dogging his steps his whole life, his actions, his finger, Him, he was able to attain that freedom. He could finally, truly, start to live. And in so, so many ways, this is truly more impactful than canon. Neil deserves that closure in his life. And this bit, those lines about freedom:

“Neil looks up, and despite his hands tugging at the ground or the clear onslaught of panic, his gaze is clear.

“I’ve never felt so free.”

The words seem to break something in Neil. Realization rushes into him. He grips the side of Andrew’s neck.

“Andrew,” he says, disbelief scratching at his voice. “I’m free.”

Andrew pulls Neil into his shoulder, and Neil collapses into him, wrapping his arms firmly around Andrew. It is quiet acceptance and trembling excitement; a break in something huge, a change that has come later than expected, but still in time. It is everything.

“Thank you,” Neil whispers, voice low but strong, and Andrew knows Neil will never run again. The thought is a release. “Thank you, Andrew.”

And that’s how it always is - Neil thanking Andrew. But Andrew shakes his head as they embrace, unable to explain how it’s him who should be thanking Neil instead.”

They don’t just show the overwhelming relief that Neil feels. They also show how much Andrew relies on Neil as well, how relieved he is to be able to keep that one good thing in his life. And the other thing they show? I think on some level, this also proves to Andrew that Neil is just as messed up and cold as Andrew is. It makes Andrew feel more equal to Neil, and not like he is the only one capable of killing someone. He knows Neil has killed people, but seeing him kill his own father, just like Andrew killed his own mother, is a parallel to his own life. And, of course, this would be the second major time Neil thanks Andrew, and this time, instead of it ending in pain, now it ends in freedom. 

Thank you, @anddreil. You were amazing.