#kinda they're constantly being annoying in the background lol

[possibilistfanfiction]

Hi! I just wanted to say I love everything you write for warrior nun (& butch bea especially!!) If you're ever in the mood to write more ficlets can I put in my vote for something about mary and ray? the part about them made me so happy !

[a little something!]

'don't laugh at me,' you say, coming downstairs from your guest room at beatrice and ava's to where they're sitting and doing a puzzle at the kitchen island. well, beatrice is doing the puzzle, diligently finishing the edges, while ava just kind of sits and stares. it's... kind of ridiculous, but beatrice had been hurt; there's still a bruise on the back of her head, turning green now — painful, and healing — and the brace over a compression sleeve on her leg. but she's only using one crutch now, and the incision down her stomach has knit together fully now. she's a little stir-crazy, you think, but also pretty tired still — and has been relegated from olympic-level judo to things like puzzles, so, of course, ava had come home with ten of them.

'we'll definitely laugh at you,' ava says, looking up with a grin.

'why wouldn't we?' beatrice asks, attention still on the puzzle pieces.

you sigh. you're happy for them — so, so happy — but the two of them together are also the bane of your fucking existence. ava makes beatrice's shoulders relax, makes a big smile stretch on her face, makes her laugh, every single day; beatrice makes ava brighter, which had seemed impossible, but now you watch them in their own home and you ache, you hug them tightly every night before they go to bed while you stay here while your apartment is finalized. they also, however, love to collectively make fun of you. no shooting allowed, in this new world, even though ava would still be fine. whatever.

'i'm — i'm going on a date.'

'oh, we know,' beatrice says. 'ray hasn't shut up about it for days.'

'so you know what we're doing? thank god, i have no idea what to wear.'

ava grins. dangerous. you could kick her off a cliff again, you really could. 'yeah, we can't tell you where though.'

you roll your eyes. maybe you could swipe a puzzle piece when they're at the beach, that would drive beatrice nuts. 'can you, like, advise an outfit, at least? i've worn all black forever but i don't think that's the vibe.'

'yeah, hot mercenary is not the theme.' ava grins. 'but i love shopping. and bea knows all the good spots.'

'okay, but not boring spots.'

'ava has never complained a day in her life about me being boring.' you just let it pan out from there, ava's adoring smile, the familiar scratch to the back of beatrice's head, so soft and careful, the way beatrice's hands still on their puzzle pieces and her chin lifting, just slightly, so ava bends near her, like a willow to water, and kisses her. eventually, beatrice turns to you. 'see?'

'i don't need you making out to know that you're into each other,' you grumble.

'oh, if you want to see us making out,' ava says, but beatrice puts a gentle hand on ava's wrist. 'okay, never mind. but... shopping! bea, do you feel good enough to go? otherwise i'll just facetime you everywhere.'

beatrice laughs. 'yes, i can go. i'll just sit while mary tries things on.' she turns toward you. 'i know it can be — daunting, to figure out who you want to be. maybe it won't be; ava's always enjoyed it.' ava preens. 'but we'll have fun; i'll take you places where there will be stuff you might be interested in. and, at any time, if you want to leave, just say the word.'

'okay,' you relent — you want to look good for your date, and, as you look at ava in her flowy wide-leg pants and especially beatrice, in a favorite, soft crew neck, you realize that you desperately, and joyfully, want to know who you are.

/

as promised, beatrice does take you to stores that have interesting clothes — expensive, not that that's anything you'd worry about at this point — and sneakers you had always wanted when you were younger. beatrice finds a pair of dunks that you think are both very clean and, as expected, extremely boring; you get a few that are more interesting, jordan 1s and 4s and a pair of union dunks. ava knocks over a whole rack of clothes, who knows how, but charms the attendant so much they end up laughing as she helps pick things up.

there are a few more stores, with t-shirts and flannels and perfectly fitting pants. they're fancy, you know, understated and cool, and everyone knows beatrice and ava; they're happy to see them, although everyone is worried about beatrice, who handles things like a champ: she's just fine, a cycling accident in spain; recovery has been easy and she's glad to be out of the house; yes, she wants that hoodie even though — with a laugh — she definitely doesn't need it, but ava will steal it anyway.

you can tell this one is beatrice’s particular favorite, because when ava holds the door for her and beatrice walks through — slowly, but steadily, fairly coordinated with her forearm crutch opposite the big leg brace, one of the attendants shoots forward. he’s, well, beautiful, with perfect braids and and dark skin, cargo pants and a pair of off whites you don’t even want to think about how much they cost.

‘beatrice,’ he says, seemingly torn between grinning and frowning, and wraps her in a careful, familiar hug.

‘hi jalen,’ she says, and then jalen hugs ava too, who smiles into his shoulder.

‘hey bud.’

‘i’ve missed you both,’ he says. ‘how are you feeling?’

‘much better,’ beatrice says. ‘i had a facial and a massage yesterday, and down to one crutch, so i can’t complain.’

‘first, still obsessed with your hair.’ he ruffles the top, and you’re a little floored, because beatrice just laughs. ‘and, secondly, ava, you’re okay?’

‘spick and span,’ she confirms, offering two dorky thumbs up that just come off, annoyingly, as charming.

‘jalen, this is mary,’ beatrice says. ‘one of my oldest friends. mary, this is jalen. he’s a regular at ava’s bar and my favorite stylist.’

‘quite the resume,’ you say, and shake his hand.

he smiles. ‘if only beatrice would add keiko’s boyfriend to that list.’

ava snorts. ‘we would if it was true.’

‘one day.’ he sighs. ‘anyway, what are we here for today? we just got the new aime leon dore crews, beatrice.’

‘while i will be getting one of those for sure,’ she says, ‘more importantly, mary has a date tonight! and, plus, needs some new things anyway. she’s been away on business.’

‘delightful.’ he looks you over. ‘i’m feeling a tasha cloud, arike ogunbowale kinda vibe.’ he smiles, excited. ‘what do you think?’

‘i’m into it,’ you say, your chest warming: beatrice knows you; she loves you; she wants to share her life and all the good things in it. she’s built it herself. she knows who will understand.

‘great! and, please tell me if you don’t like something. my feelings won’t be hurt at all, and we want you to feel awesome.’

‘that — yes,’ you say, a little choked up out of nowhere, and you spare a glance at ava and beatrice. beatrice has settled on a couch, her leg outstretched, while ava looks through some crews and holds them up for beatrice to pick a favorite. ‘that sounds perfect.’

jalen helps you find a few pieces you love, that you can mix and match for a number of outfits. it’s surreal, to get to choose what you want — to wear every day; to wear by the beach; to wear to drinks with your sisters, so in love it’s impossible to really be annoyed; to wear on a date.

eventually, beatrice starts to fade, slumping over on ava’s shoulder on the couch, her eyes fluttering, which makes you laugh — and then jalen too, who understands somehow, that she’s okay. or, at least, that she will be.

ava tells jalen to charge everything to their account; she’d told you when you’d first come that the church pays for whatever they want, and, plus, they have beatrice’s essentially infinite trust fund anyway. you leave with a few bags, but not before you ask jalen where he gets his braids done and he grins and gets your number to send you the information. it’s one of a few in your phone; your world grows every day.

/

'okay,' you say, looking at yourself in your mirror one last time. 'good?'

'you look sexy,' ava says, helpful as always, but bea laughs softly and squeezes your hand.

'you look amazing,' she says, and she really means it. ray hadn't told you much, just that it was casual and no pressure. she's known beatrice for a while now and so, you know, she seems to understand the hesitancy toward big things, a big life. beatrice has one now, and you want one too. it's different, so different than what you thought you would have. but it's not bad; in fact, most of the time it's good.

you tie a flannel around your waist for when it inevitably gets cooler later; you had your braids redone two days ago and your babyhairs are down perfectly. ava is basically vibrating when — endearingly, because she definitely has a key — ray rings the doorbell.

'go, go!' ava says, spinning you by the shoulders in the direction of the stairs. 'beatrice and i are going to ... stay in on your balcony, i guess. right, bea?'

it feels a little like they're your parents or something; whenever lilith visits she trudges along behind them like a teenager being dragged out of her bedroom. but beatrice's smile is gentle and she takes ava's hand. 'yes, i'll make sure that ava gives you your privacy.'

you take a deep breath and nod. 'wish me luck.'

'godspeed,' ava says. 'we definitely won't stay up late waiting on the couch to make sure you get home by your curfew.'

despite yourself, you laugh.

/

ray brings you flowers and you kiss her cheek and she smiles at you, bright in the setting sun, and takes off her sunglasses and opens your car door.

'this is about as lowkey as it gets,' she says, 'but i thought we could get some in n out and watch the sunset on the beach. i know you get to watch the sunset from beatrice and ava's every day, but i have a spot i love that i want to share with you. i brought some craft beer i like, if you want a drink.' she pauses, grips the steering while tight in her hands, and it sets you at remarkable ease when you realize — she's nervous too. she's excited too.

'that sounds amazing.' she smiles and it's worth it; it's so worth it.

she lets out a relieved breath. 'okay, sweet. do you have an in n out order?'

'i've never actually been.'

'god, that's a crime.'

'look, i've only been in california for a month.'

'that's a whole month!'

you laugh at her genuine dismay. honestly, you didn't think you would be staying; you hadn't even brought more than a few days clothes in a duffel when lilith teleported you. you had planned to stay and take care of beatrice and help ava for a week tops. but then, well — 'better late than never, right?'

'so much better,' ray says, and turns on good 90s r&b while you wait in what you think might be the world's longest drive thru, although when you say that ray just laughs. she's beautiful, and your mind drifts slightly when she licks her fingers after finishing her burger, the pink clouds washing over the both of you. there are a few streaks of grey coming into the inky black of her hair, a mess of curls, and you wonder what it might be like to tangle your hands in it. to let her kiss you. to touch her back.

you talk about everything and nothing at once: who you are, but not the worst parts. not yet.

the sun sets and you put your flannel on and ray grins. 'you look really good,' she says.

'thanks. i — beatrice took me shopping.'

'ah,' ray says, 'my favorite activity to share with her. i love when she charges things to her account.'

'it was pretty sweet, honestly. i — well, you knew her, when you first met. getting out of our old line of work, at least for me, it's a lot of just... trying to figure out who i am now. who i want to be.'

'well, if tonight is anything to go by, and how highly beatrice and ava speak of you, who you are is incredible.'

you duck your head, busy yourself with gathering the napkins from dinner and putting them in the bag. you lift your head and the sun sits gold on the horizon behind ray's head. you almost laugh, then, in a little bit of disbelief — the kind of blessing you are just coming to understand. thank you, shannon, you pray. when ray smiles at you, her eyes squinting in the light, you allow yourself to really wonder: there is a halo around her head, some kind of saint, some kind of holy.

you wonder about resurrections and how ava loves so full, how beatrice is quiet and attentive and so deeply herself, now. you wonder about all of it — hell and grace and the rough orange blanket beneath you and the apartment you'd just gotten approved for, the scar along your shoulder from years ago and how often it rains here. you wonder about all of it, as you cup ray's jaw in your hand as gently as you can and ask is this okay? and she smiles — yeah, of course — and kiss her, in the remnants of the sun and the inky dusk setting in over the waves. the tide goes out, and a beautiful woman kisses you. it's a life. it's one hell of a life.

she holds your hand on the drive back to beatrice and ava's house, and when you open the front door ava scrambles up the stairs to, you guess, act like she wasn't watching out the front window, but beatrice still has her crutch and just waves from the couch, nonplussed. ray had walked you to the door and kissed your cheek and heads back to her car with a little wave in beatrice's direction, and you close the door.

'did you have a good time?' she asks, sleepy and looking like she'd showered earlier, comfortable with her leg propped on a few pillows and a heating pad on her stiff hip.

you sit next to her and then ava flings herself in the middle of you. beatrice lets out a little oof but she laughs, and ava climbs practically on top of her without any resistance. you'll never have a love like that, you're pretty sure, in this life or any of the next, because ava is ava — exuberant and unrelenting and desperately kind — but the quietness is good too. the small intimacies. 'i had a wonderful time.'

'good,' ava says, a kind of totality you're just beginning to understand: things are good. things should be good. 'bea has been falling asleep for an hour —' beatrice pouts — 'but, brunch tomorrow, maybe? i want to hear all about it.'

'yeah,' you say, a little overcome, thinking about the sunset and in n out and what it felt like to kiss someone kind after all this time; thinking about what it was like to come back to people who love you, who want you to be happy — your sisters. 'that sounds perfect.'

and it isn't perfect: beatrice is still hurt and grumpy, which makes ava grumpy, but it's beautiful and smells like the ocean and you eat whatever you want, with no plans for the day. it's not perfect, but it is good. it's a home, and a life, and you let yourself wonder about it all as you steal potatoes from ava's plate and she swats at your hand with a laugh, the sun high in the sky.

[corvigae]

Heloooooo your Tav is a cutie (mine’s also a wizard, gotta love the Annoying class)! What’s your party? What’s her favourite person? What’s her background and backstory??? tell me everything

YEEAAAHHH WE LOVE THE NERD ASS CLASS!!

Thank you!! Lately my party's been Shadowheart, Astarion, and Karlach. At all times it's always Shadowheart and Astarion and then the third spot is more fluid for whoever provides the most utility/story at any given moment, but the way I have Karlach specced she's a fucking beast of a tank so I'm thinking I'm gonna be keeping her around for a solid while, lol.

Her favorite person is almost definitely Shadowheart, they clicked pretty quickly and somehow despite Lunarae being the most nosy bitch in the world and constantly asking her about herself and her past, Shadowheart didn't get annoyed with her prying and just. started opening up to her instead?? So they're absolute besties, and like I've said before, even thought the game only allows you to romance one origin character at a time, as far a I'm concerned they are also girlfriends, despite the fact that she's also romancing Astarion.

Speaking of which I have so many thoughts on Lunarae and Astarion but they're all kinda just swirling around in my head constantly and hard to exactly pin down. But basically when they first met Astarion thought Lunarae was a ridiculously naive, self-righteous idiot who wanted to be a hero and was going to get herself and everyone around her killed while doing so, and really did not like her much at all. Then as they started travelling together he was like "Okay so I guess she can actually handle herself in a fight alright. She's still self-righteous and naive and annoying as fuck, tho." But then as time goes on he sees a bit more past just the "wanting to help people and do The Right Thing all the time" aspect of her, and sees her be a little shit and tease people sometimes, be really level-headed and able to lie or talk her way out of situations, and her being a little goofy with her looting and hoarding compulsions and how incredibly vindicatedly happy she gets when she finds a good item in some random pot or some shit, and he starts to think of her as a whole person that he actually kind of likes and respects, especially after he finds himself on the receiving end of that unrelenting kindess of hers like when she lets him feed on her or when she gave him the Necromancy of Thay book. Not to mention they're both just unabashedly Down Bad for each other, honestly. He's still frequently frustrated with her unwillingness to indulge in the tadpole's power and her insistence on being the hero, though, and for Lunarae's part even though she really likes him and thinks he's interesting and silly and he makes her happy, his constant thirst for power and frustration with her annoys her in turn, and they're still often butting heads on issues of morality. This kind of plays into another aspect of them that I think is interesting though is how they kind of balance each other out? Because let's be real, at least some of Lunarae's approach to Astarion is "I can fix him," and maybe she can slowly coax him into giving at least a little bit of a shit about other people, but the thing about Lunarae is that she's so constantly giving? She never says no to someone who needs her help, she never stops trying to do her best for others, and she never stops giving, to the point where it can be a real detriment, actually. So she could really benefit from somebody who can teach her to be at least a little bit selfish and care about herself and her own needs sometimes, actually.

This is already a long-ass post so I'm gonna put the rest under a readmore, esp since her backstory isn't all that fully fleshed out, so it may be kind of cingey rip

As for her background she's a Sage bc of course her nerd ass is, and I debated on whether I wanted to actually give her a serious DnD Backstory™️ or if I wanted to just have her be the only normal, well-adjusted person in the party and just play that for laughs, but the more I think abt it the more I think the backstory I thought of for her helps make her determination to Do The Right Thing and constantly help people and also be hyper-aware and vigilant of Wizard Hubris make a lot more narrative sense. So her big backstory is basically that she was raised by a single mother who was a very powerful and respected wizard with a very high up and prestigious position in their city. Her mom was always thrilled to nurture Lunarae's innate curiousity and love of learning, and taught her how to study magic fairly young (She never really taught her spells directly though, she still had to learn them herself). Sometimes she had a tendency to treat her more like her apprentice than her daughter, but Lunarae was always eager to learn and didn't mind all too much. The thing about Lunarae's mom though was that she was an incredibly ambitious wizard, and treated power as a sort of commodity that one can hoard and should constantly be striving to obtain, and eventually she came up with a magic ritual that would significantly increase her pwoer and make her one of the most powerful mages in history. She of course excitedly told Lunarae about this ritual, and about all the good she could do in the world once she had all this power at her disposal, and Lunarae agreed to help her pull it off. She was getting ready to go on a trip to visit a friend at the time, though, and her mom agreed to wait until after she got back to attempt it. What Lunarae found when she returned, however, was just carnage and destrution. Her mom had apparently gotten impatient waiting for her to return and had decided to attempt the ritual herself, and whether she had done something wrong or the ritual itself was just too unstable, it had not only failed, but failed in such a catastrophic way that it had leveled her home and about 10 city blocks, with the only thing remaining just rubble and viscera streaked across the smoldering, broken buildings. In picking up her life after that, Lunarae briefly considered turning away from magic entirely, but she knew she couldn't do that - she loved it too much, and it was the only connection she had left to her mother. So she instead resolved to use her magic to help people as often as possible, to be a force for good in the world, and to also be cognizent of that fact that wanton lust for power, even with good intentions, can be deadly.

[thesoftboiledegg]

my favorite thing about the way beth is written is how she doesn’t fall into the madonna-whore thing that mothers in so many other shows do. She’s not a horrible monster, but she’s imperfect in the way that actual kinda-bad mothers are, like how she doesn’t know the perfect thing to say (the morphizer thing) and how she has a tendency to reject taking responsibility when she’s obviously in the wrong (froopyland).

Also you can REALLY hear Dan Harmon whenever she’s being a shitty mom in the first few seasons lol

Oh yeah, she's a great character. The show also captures her similarities to Rick brilliantly, especially in the earlier seasons. Some of her dialogue sounds like it came straight out of Rick's mouth. A lot of shows wouldn't think about that.

Also, I love how she's closer to Summer (admittedly in a...really shitty way, lol) because a lot of shows fall into the annoying trope where Mom dislikes her daughter and sees her as competition while her son is her "baby."

She and Jerry are also great portrayals of abusive parents who aren't cartoon villains. Even though I know they're bad parents, I don't even pick up on it sometimes. They're not beating the shit out of Morty every day, and his life looks OK from the outside. His parents feed him, put a shirt on his back, send him to school, bought a nice house and even gave him stuff for his room, but they're emotionally neglectful.

Like damn, out of five seasons, there's a total of...one episode with Jerry and Morty, and one episode with Beth and Morty. That's nuts. The show also hinges on the fact that they don't care about Rick dragging Morty out of the house constantly. Beth gave Rick shit about it in season 4, but it was obviously just to piss him off and not because she suddenly cared about Morty.

I also love how she's a strong female character--which doesn't make her a good person, but she's not a passive mom who stays in the background. She has her own adventures and storylines. Same with Summer. Imagine how much shit they'd get into if they teamed up, lmao.

But yeah...overall, Beth is a great female character who doesn't take any crap from anyone.

[alirhi]

This is oddly fun lol

Let's see how many of these I can churn out before I get distracted or need a break! (pff. like I need an excuse to watch the show again. Despite its flaws, I really, really love TFATWS, guys)

Without further ado, let's get down to it!

Episode 2: The Star-Spangled Man

I'm pretty sure I'm on record when it comes to my undying hate for John Walker, yes? So obviously, Bucky's grumpiness 100% stays 😂

I'm not really a fan of how much emphasis they put on the shield. I can see it as a catalyst for Bucky to go confront Sam, yes, but he wouldn't keep going "shield shield shield" like a broken record. Bucky has consistently been shown to be an empathetic man. I can't believe for a second that he'd be barking at Sam about having no right to give up the shield; he'd ask why. Sam's got shit to do, so he'd get impatient and not answer.

"Why'd you give up so easily? If you were overwhelmed, I could've helped you-" "You've been ignoring me. Like now, how you're ignoring me walking away from you." "Well, you weren't texting me about this." "You think I needed your permission?!" "No, but I was right there with Steve while he was learning what it meant to be Cap. I wouldn't mind helping you get used to-" "Then go teach him." A vague gesture toward the "Cap is back" posters. Bucky makes a face. "Steve passed the mantle to you. You fought with him. You earned it. That little shit didn't." "What do you want me to do about it?" "Just tell me why, Sam. I mean it. I just wanna understand." "Not now, Buck. I've got shit to do. You see me heading for a plane right now, right?" "This is important!" "So is this." Sam tells him about the Flag Smashers, we get our silly Big Three/Gandalf conversation.

I'm sorry, but that whole jumping from the plane scene is funny as hell, and I love all the nods they added in to jokes from the press tours that brought us this show in the first place (like ripping the sleeve off his jacket lol). I don't think I'd change a single thing from the Big Three convo to Bucky joining Sam in the warehouse.

"You're doing the staring thing again." "You're staring at your watch," Bucky points out. He knows it's linked to Redwing, he's just pointing out how dumb that line is in that situation. They're there for recon lol. They're meant to be looking around.

I don't...particularly care about the other common gripe here? Meaning, "Bucky's a civilian, so why is he allowed to randomly jump in on a military mission?" Bucky's also known in this universe as an Avenger, just like Sam, so I don't think anyone would really bat an eye at him joining. Also, I have my own agenda related to Bucky's apparent freedom to walk in and out of military/government things.

What does bug me (as funny as it is) is Bucky's animosity toward Redwing. Again... Bucky is a certified nerd. Always has been. If anything, he'd be fascinated by Redwing and Sam would constantly have to slap him away because he's leaning in too close trying to see the tiny watch monitor. "I don't trust Redwing" is just old man griping "I don't trust your newfangled technology" and that... that's not Bucky.

And that "we're not assassins" dig, and then laughing when Bucky gets upset? That's not Sam. Both of these men have shown a remarkable amount of empathy, and Sam has a background in helping traumatized vets. If he cared enough about Bucky to be texting him after Steve left, he'd care enough not to make callous jokes about his time as The Winter Soldier, whether he knows the full story or not.

The fight on top of moving trucks looks cool, but makes no logical sense. I keep trying to think of a way to explain this from a story perspective, rather than a lazy "it looks cool!" filmmaking one, and I'm coming up blank. Anyone with half a brain would have pulled over, had the fight, and then taken off. It was a fun sequence, though... Eh. I'll leave it.

When Karli breaks Redwing, Bucky doesn't say "I always wanted to do that." Again, it's funny - I love the jabs about that stupid robo bird XD - but not Bucky. In my version, he smirks and says "You're so gonna regret that."

"You were kinda getting your asses kicked before we got there." Is immediately followed by Bucky staring him down and asking, "And... how did that fight end for you?" Sam adds, "I don't see them in custody. Are-are they following in a van?" He looks around, sarcastically searching for another vehicle. Walker and Hoskins grimace at each other, grudgingly conceding that point.

credit to @dailycelebs

Seeing Walker, and having to listen to his stupid pro-government rhetoric, makes Bucky think about Steve. When we cut from the Flag Smashers back to Bucky and Sam and the closeup of Bucky's pensive face, we hear 1940s Steve angrily telling 1940s Bucky about how the higher ups in the army had already written off the POWs and were going to leave them to die. "I love our country, Buck," he laments, "but what do I do when I'm not too sure anymore about the people who run it?"

"What you always do," is young Bucky's answer, "stand for what's right, not who's in power."

Perfect lead-in to the conversation about handling things themselves.

When Sam meets Isaiah, and hears his story, not only is he horrified and heartsick for him, but he also begins to see Bucky in a new light. He's seeing Bucky's face, the way he tries to hide his emotions and not make this conversation about him, and he's putting things together. He's still upset at being out of the loop, but he's seeing more of the situation than just "omg black super soldier". When Bucky says "he'd already been through enough," Sam asks quietly, "like you?"

The racist cop comes back before Bucky can answer, to arrest him for missing his appointment with Raynor.

ngl guys, I was so moved by the difference in how that cop treated Sam (before knowing he's Important) vs how he treated Bucky (knowing that the government views him as a violent, if pardoned, criminal). He approaches Sam with his hand on his gun, eager to defend Bucky; "is this guy bothering you?" Just because they're having a heated conversation. Then, when he sees that there's a warrant for Bucky, he approaches timidly, apologizes, treats him gently and politely. By "moved," btw, I don't mean "it was so sweet." I mean "this is fucking sick, and very, very realistic." White cops see a white guy and treat him with respect regardless of his actual criminal record, while being openly hostile towards an innocent black man without even knowing who he is, just because he's black. Moments like this made me applaud Spellman.

"You, too, Sam - That wasn't a request" is Sam's first sign that there's something off about Raynor.

Look, again... The couples therapy banter is funny because Sebastian and Anthony are funny, but that scene, from a storytelling and a mental health standpoint, is atrocious. Without some underlying reason behind her actions, Raynor is just a pointlessly terrible therapist.

Rather than insulting Bucky from the outset, Sam is angry with Raynor for violating Bucky's privacy by not only introducing herself as his therapist, but forcing a "couples" session without her patient's consent. With his background pre-Avenging, he knows this shit shouldn't fly. He immediately points out how unprofessional she's being.

Raynor doesn't bother listening - the fuck does she care, really? She shrugs and casually admits it's "slightly unprofessional" but proceeds anyway.

"Whatever's eating at him?" Sam scoffs. "Did you really just say that to a WWII veteran and the world's longest-serving POW with complex PTSD? Did I hear that right? I've had, maybe, like five conversations with this man since we met, and even I know he's been through some shit and-" "Sam," Bucky tries to interrupt, looking uncomfortable. With his crushing guilt, he has an easier time dealing with insults than someone coming to his defense. "No," Sam snaps. "If the HIPAA Slayer over here wants to drag me into this, she's damn well gonna hear what I have to say!" He turns back to Raynor and demands, "Is this how you've been treating him this whole time? Downplaying what he's been through and making a grown-ass man sound like a sulking teenager?" Raynor keeps her cool, but barely. Visibly frustrated and annoyed, she ignores Sam's tirade and tries to force the conversation back onto the track she wants it on. Bucky's embarrassed and doesn't know how to react to any of this, so he still makes that little "he would talk less" jab. Sam, seeing that he's not going to get anywhere with him until they're away from this bitch, glowers and plays along. We get our silly/angry banter.

After their argument with Walker, Sam finally confronts Bucky about what really happened to him.

"He meant HYDRA; HYDRA used to be my people." "Were they?" Sam asks, stopping him and looking him in the eye, not letting him look away or deflect. "Steve was under the impression that they were your captors. I was under the impression that the Wakandans spent two years deprogramming you so no one could use you the way HYDRA did ever again." "I-" Startled, not expecting that, Bucky stutters a little and admits, "Yeah, I... That's true, I guess." "You guess?" "Does it matter? Sam rolls his eyes. "I dunno, does it matter that you were a slave for most of the 20th century?" "I doubt it matters much to my victims." "HYDRA's victims," Sam corrects firmly. "Just like you." Bucky fidgets; he doesn't know what to do or say. No one since Steve has even so much as insinuated that Bucky wasn't 100% culpable for what he did while under HYDRA control. "Look," Sam sighs, "I don't particularly like you. I don't hate you, but I'm not your biggest fan." "...Thanks?" "I just need you to know where I stand-" "Yeah, got it-" "-So you know I'm not biased like Steve when I say you had no choice. I don't know your story, but I know no one flips on a dime from docile and plagued with guilt to an unstoppable killing machine and back without some serious psychological damage behind that. I'm not saying you're an innocent little bunny, but I don't think you're a monster." "Thanks," Bucky croaks, more sincerely this time, and a bit choked up. He clears his throat and looks distinctly uncomfortable as he grumbles, "but to catch these guys, we may need to talk to a monster." Sam cringes. "I was afraid you'd say that."

[myth-carver]

Brief thoughts on c3e1 and the new folks........

Overall: Eh, it was okay. CR has a winning formula with their style of actual play, they're almost always a joy to watch onscreen and that was no different last night, but I came away feeling more like I was watching a oneshot or another ep of ExU rather than the new Critical Role campaign proper. Not super into the new cast and very disappointed that literally half the table is reused people we've seen before -- I enjoyed ExU's cast but that was sold as a separate thing and seeing them here is jarring, especially absent the rest of the Crown Keepers. Between reused characters, all the new permanent changes to the format, not even being 100% certain who in this cast is going to stay or later go at this point... It just kinda feels weird :/ But I'm excited for the Marquet setting and it took me a really long time to warm up to the c2 cast too, and it's early days yet. So I'm willing to have my mind changed, and fortunately for me, I'm more a fan of the cast themselves than any particular characters they've played anyhow. Taking a wait and see approach overall.

Imogen: She seems sweet, I love her character design, I'm very partial to purple hair lmao. Other than that I don't find her that interesting so far but Laura is a good RPer so she'll probably be fun to watch. Maybe she'll be able to join Orym in stewarding the group's brain cell lol.

Laudna: Marisha's doing an accent??????? She sounds amazing and I love the performance. Laudna certainly has a lot of intriguing stuff going on, I enjoy a character with mysteries to dig into. She doesn't inspire me fannishly but I'll look forward to finding out what her deal is. I'm ngl I'm super disappointed that all three of our girls this time are really femme though.

Ashton: Kintsugi earth genasi is an absolutely inspired concept that I hope Taliesin patted himself on the back for a lot because he Earned It. That said, aggressive punk with anger/authority issues is a trope I find super super annoying and he's already rubbing me the wrong way constantly :/ I hate that I'm just not into the only human-adjacent nonbinary character on the main cast, it really sucks. It's also driving me crazy how much the colors of his costume intensely do not match his green and purple and gold body even slightly lmao, it's really unpleasant to look at.

FCG: This is now an FCG hate blog, lol not really but holy shit I hate this character so much, Mr. Riegel I'm literally already tired of your joke character after less than 1 episode idk how I'm going to endure a whole campaign of them. Liam why would you do this to us 😩 a lot of people seem to love them a lot so lmao I'm anticipating for me this is going to be a Caduceus situation where my resentment of the character increases due to never being able to get away from posts about him. I don't want any more robots on my fantasy show, if I wanted robots I'd go watch an actual play of a sci-fi tabletop game instead...

Orym: Best boy from ExU returns, which is cool since I super wanted to know more about him in ExU, but wow does it suck they decided to actively make ExU a worse show by not going into half the cast's backgrounds and leaving it literally an incomplete story to accommodate bringing these cast members into c3. If that was the whole purpose of ExU why not just announce that instead of being coy like this??? The way ExU ended left a really bad taste in my mouth and honestly dampened my interest in seeing more of these characters. That said though, my love for Orym at least somewhat remains and Liam is usually the cast member whose character taste matches my own the most, I look forward to seeing where he takes Orym in the future. Also, if our speculation about his OOC origins during ExU turn out correct, cool to have the first gay male character on the main cast.

Dorian: Other best boy from ExU and a surprise appearance by Robbie! All three of the ExU folks I thought meshed with the CR style amazingly and it's fun to get to see him again. Very curious what dirt FCG apparently seems to have on him. And I wonder when we finally get to learn his real name... 👀

Fearne: I overall don't like Ashley's RP, which I know is ironic because I love Yasha so much lmao. But I feel like Fearne is, of everyone Ashley's played on stream, the character that seems to most match with her personal style and comes most naturally to her, it's fun to see her RP with such confidence. She's really good at invoking the fey vibe, both the sweetness and comedy and the undertone of menace. That said, Fearne's general behavior hammers my secondhand embarrassment squick absolutely like crazy lmao and it's going to be rough to have to watch that for an extended period, I find her frequently almost painful to watch tbh. I'm excited that a fey in the main cast means we'll be seeing Feywild stuff though!!! Maybe even my eladrin warlock's old patron Lady Elmenore 👀

Bertrand: Sorry man I didn't care about you in the oneshots and I still don't lmao, too obnoxious for me. It heavily seems like he's here as a guest though -- I just hope this doesn't herald something weird like Travis finishing his appearance and then bowing out of the cast, please bring a second character when you're done being an NPC Travis don't go away :(

[protagonistheavy]

It's cool that Three Houses went out of its way to voice basically every single line of dialogue in the game, but beyond the novelty of it... what a waste of resources lol. It does not benefit the game in the long term, and in fact kinda detracts from the experience imo. Maybe this will vary with other people, I know some folks sort of "need" there to be voice acting for a game with this much text, but by and large I find myself CONSTANTLY thinking I'm watching a well-performed middle school play.

I compare this to Awakening and Fates, where instead of having voiced lines of dialogue for everything, they usually just rely on a handful of voice clips for every character to signify the tone of the their dialogue. And I think this is the BEST system, because it allows you, the reader, to organically construct the voice in your own head -- to your liking. You get just enough from the voice clip to infer how the character is speaking, which lets you assume their pitch, pace, etc.

Whereas in Three Houses, everything is voiced, so you HAVE to deal with however the actor decided to read a line of dialogue. And let's be real. The dialogue in this game is fucking clumsy. You have anime-style situations that might work well in a Japanese dialect but simply doesn't translate well to western audiences; characters go through over-the-top self-reflections, speaking in a way that no human naturally does; mentions of warfare attempt to be serious and deep, but stumble because the characters are made to be quirky and cute; on top of everything, some characters are just plain-out annoying to listen, especially those with repetitive traits or vocal gimmicks.

And those wouldn't be so bad on paper if you weren't having to hear a real human make their best attempt at vocalizing an awkward script out loud. The writing is just so... weird at times. If I could at least take control of the speech in my head, it wouldn't be SO bad... though, even then, there are just some parts of the writing that are genuinely so awkward -- I can't even tell what's going on sometimes. Because so many cutscenes are as low budget as just characters walking around a 2D background... there's so much that the voicework HAS to do in order to make a scene make sense lmao.

And there's no middle ground option for me, not really. I could just mute the dialogue I suppose, and purely read the text myself -- let me grab my microscope first so I can read this fucking ant text -- but then I miss out on hearing the tone of the character, which helps smooth out how I should be reading a line of text. That was the big advantage Awakening and Fates had, those voice clips. Guhh.

What I find myself doing a lot is just reading the text myself faster than the character speaks, and then cutting to the next text box whenever they hit an appropriate break in their speech................... maybe, maybe I'm just particular about voiced text lol.

And don't even get me started on Byleth.................. What were they thinking. They're a silent protagonist, but not specifically mute-- but kind of mute, it's canon that they don't ever say much... except they DO talk, and even have a bit of a personality that the player cant avoid expressing... but while even these dialogue choices are unvoiced, Byleth isn't COMPLETELY voiceless, because they turn into a lil chatterbox once they start being violent. It is SOOO fucking jarring to suddenly hear Byleth speak so chipper and calm... after fucking ANNIHILATING a human being with a lightning sword. Just a dumb direction imo to have designed Byleth, they shouldve gone hard one way or the other, either make Byleth a true silent protagonist with only Link-styled grunts at most, or make them a normal character that isn't pointlessly mute lol.

[pixxiesdust]

Ok, and the second one is with CEO Kenma! It wasn't until a short while ago that I looked up time skip Kenma. What's the name of his company? Bouncing Ball or something? I'm sorry, but that name is just....awful. What does it even do??? I dunno 😧 But it made me think about how Kenma would be as a CEO and then combined it with the trope when someone's being rude to their s/o and doesn't know who they are.

So, I can imagine Kenma not really wanting much attention as a CEO. He'll wear sweatpants and hoodies at the office. He asks those who work closely with him to be chill, no need to formalities and stuff, because that's just annoying. And he doesn't go around saying he's the CEO either, because there's no point really? Doesn't see a need to advertise it. As long as his employees do good work and has a basic respect level, he doesn't want them buttering him up and stuff, you know? But because he's so chill, only those who work closely with him really know he's the ceo. It's not that he's trying to hide it, again, he just doesn't see a need to mention it or let everybody know. But he does make sure they know who his s/o is, because she'll sometimes come to the office and he wants to make sure everyone treats her with respect. Him? He doesn't really care, but her? Pull out all the stops. I can also see him going around, awkwardly bringing people a cup of coffee or donut or something, like he's trying to be an encouraging boss without being too mushy but still being awkward about it.

So there's some girl working as a secretary or something and she's a bitch and just doesn't like you. Like the other employees, she knows you're the ceo's girlfriend, but she's never actually seen the ceo. And because she's a bitch, she thinks you're a bitch, that you're fake nice and two-faced. That you're only with the ceo for the money and status and stuff. She's the typical mean girl because that's what makes the trope good. So she starts harassing you when you start showing up, and you don't wanna cause trouble because she's just being petty, so you don't really do anything about it. But one day she's taking it kinda too far, and it so happens that Kenma is a little ways away witnessing it all. So Kenma comes to the rescue and is MAD and goes into the girl, but she's like "What, does the lazy intern have a thing for the boss's girl? Too bad you're not rich enough for this slut." (Honestly I love the idea of a bitchy receptionist thinking Kenma's an intern because of how he dresses and slouches, and when he's walking about the office it probably doesn't look like he's doing anything [if he actually IS doing anything] and with bringing people coffee and stuff) And then Kenma brings out the "I AM the boss" line and she doesn't believe him at first until he calls over a HR person and let's them know she's fired and she's like "He can't do that!" And the HR person is like "Uh, he's the CEO, he can do what he wants?" And low-key the employees who were watching it all go down in the background gained some respect for Kenma because they now know he's the ceo and yeah it seems weird that he didn't mention it before but now that they know it's him they can see that's totally a thing he'd do and are actually glad he's not constantly showing off his position and using it to his advantage. They probably think he SHOULD use it a little more. But it makes them feel closer to their boss, and they know his s/o is a genuinely good person so they're happy to see him shut that bitch down.

And I also feel like at that point he'd already have a ring to propose to s/o with but hasn't told anybody since it's nobody's business. But he probably wanted to tell the receptionist lady something like "she's going to be my wife so I definitely won't tolerate this!"

IDK, I like lazy Kenma who gets mad when it matters and I like the drama of someone being rude to a good person/someone the don't know the importance of.

That's the end of that mess of an ask lol.

OH I REALLY LOVE THIS IDEA!!! The thought of most of the workers in the company not knowing that Kenma is the CEO is really fun haha. This whole idea is so, so good! If this becomes a fic one day, I’d definitely read it!

[mc-dude]

ok I agree that pedophilic/incest/noncon ships are abusive but I still don't understand why batlantern is considered abusive. I always considered it more of an enemies to lovers thing? they're teammates, it's not like they've actually tried to kill each other or anything like sinestro has. and I swear im not trying to start shit I'm just curious and I really would like to know the reasoning behind it.

okay i scrolled back forever on my blog to find the post i already made about batlant*rn (which i will refer to as BL in this post bc i dont want to accidentally put anti-BL stuff in the tag if i mistype) but i couldn’t find it sooooo alright here it goes (takes a deep breath)

i guess i’ll preface this by saying that BL is way less gross than hals*n (which is pretty much the worst, most unhealthy relationship hal could ever be apart of) and I know bruce is a good person and fights for justice etc etc. I also want to say that I’m pretty much ok with BL if it’s based purely on pre-parallax hal & bruce just because their relationship was a lot better back then. I guess i’ll try to break this down into categories & i’ll try to keep this brief just bc i dont actually wanna talk about BL that much lol

things that are actually abusive about the ship:

verbal abuse

bruce is constantly calling hal an idiot & berating him for every tiny mistake that he makes. if the person you’re in a relationship with thinks you’re a moron & calls you stupid at every opportunity that’s abusive and you need to gtfo immediately. hal already feels like a piece of shit constantly, he doesn’t need a partner who makes him feel even worse.

manipulative

hal is incredibly gullible & easy to manipulate (see: every comic with sinestro ever) and bruce’s entire life is manipulating people. a relationship between a manipulator & someone who is easily manipulated is never going to be healthy.

bruce blaming hal for getting possessed by parallax (victim blaming)

this is the one that pisses me off the most. hal literally just claws his way out of his own fucking body to escape the monster that’s been mentally torturing him and using his body to kill his friends for years and bruce still blames him for everything that he’s done. hal’s being crushed by the guilt of thinking that he was so weak to get possessed by this entity of fear and bruce just rubs his entire traumatic experience in his face over and over. it takes bruce several years to even get to the point where he “trusts” hal again, or even call him hal, and that’s seriously fucked up when you know someone just went through years of torment & pain and the first thing you do is blame them for being a victim. i really can’t forgive bruce for this honestly it still pisses me off to this day

things that make them incompatible that aren’t abusive:

vastly different relationship needs

bruce is the kind of person who needs a partner who can keep up with him, and hal is really slow on the uptake (he dumb). bruce is a super genius and hal is just an average dude. hal needs someone who is patient & kind, who won’t berate him for making mistakes and who will take the time to let him come to his own decisions instead of forcing them on him. hal needs to learn what it’s like to be loved wholely and unconditionally for who he is, not someone who would only love an idealized version of him.

fear vs will (morality)

hal and bruce are pretty much fundamentally incompatible by DCU standards. bruce literally uses fear as a weapon to do what he needs to do and hal fights against that every day. they respect each other but they do not agree with each other on their methods and i don’t think hal could ever be in a relationship where the other person is so fundamentally opposed to his own morality. bruce is also the kind of guy who has everything planned out in 10 different ways and hal is the most impulsive guy in the DCU. while this could be complementary in other ships, bruce just gets annoyed whenever hal does something “rash” and berates him for it

lifestyle differences

bruce is super wealthy and hal is dirt poor. this could be abusive but bruce has never really done anything to hal in relation to this so i didn’t list it above (the possibility is just there). hal will never be able to relate to someone who didn’t have to struggle to pay rent or get basic shit like food & water. he was poor growing up and he’s poor as an adult and i don’t think he could be with someone who never had to worry about these things. bruce is about refinement & classiness in his personal life and hal is literally the kinda guy to smash 8 cans of beer on his head bc someone said he couldn’t. they’re from way too different backgrounds and while in a lot of cases that’s good for relationships bc it helps broaden your world view & perceptions in the case of BL bruce is just frequently embarrassed by hal and not in a ‘aw he’s embarrassing but he’s cute & i love him’ kind of way, in a ‘he’s a human disaster and i wish he didn’t exist’ kind of way. the only thing they can relate to about each other is that they both saw their father murdered in front of them as a kid and that’s not much to build a relationship on.

things that make me dislike the ship that aren’t related to the characters:

the fandom is super into a lot of abusive & unhealthy tropes

the most popular fics on ao3 for BL are where the author has a weird AU hal that got sexually abused as a kid and bruce basically has to magic healing cock him better and it’s really disgusting tbh. hal is always “broken” and bruce has to “fix” him somehow and that’s not a healthy relationship guys.

the fandom doesn’t care about hal being happy, and that really bugs me. hal does not deserve someone who constantly berates him and calls him an idiot and tries to manipulate him and guilt-trip him for an incident where he was a victim of possession & mental torture.

anyways... there’s my two cents and i’m not gonna say more about it tbh i don’t like talking about BL and i’d much rather write meta about healthy relationships for harold!! i’m just gonna link to this whenever someone asks me in the future