#kinda nervous I'm so rusty god | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

fluffytriceratops · 2 months ago

Text

𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭 - 𝐚. 𝐦𝐢𝐲𝐚 [chapter four]

chapter four: "𝚒 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚕𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚞𝚌𝚎."

notes: as a fellow over thinker, i relate to y/n a lot in this one. also- sorry these chapters are taking so long to come out ajdkfgjhdkfgjh- i'll try to do better. also i'm very rusty so this is kinda shit. <3

chapter three: "there he is, mr. america."

no longer posting chapters on tumblr, if you want to read the rest of the story you can find it on wattpad, ao3, and quotev. [click each link to read-]

««•◦ ✪ ◦•»» Y/n tried to pay attention to Bokuto, she really, truly did. However, her mind had other plans. She kept thinking about what was going to happen afterwards. Would he come up to her and talk with her? Ask why she was here? What if he thought she was stalking him? She wasn't sure if she was even ready to strike up a conversation with the guy! Not a proper one anyway.

"Relax," Keiji had managed to soothe her. She honestly didn't know what she would do if he wasn't here. Oh god, imagine if she was here alone. It would've been absolutely horrendous. She was sure of it.

"I'm trying." She muttered, knee bouncing more than before. She was fiddling with the zipper on her (Kuroo's) sweater, zipping it up and down continuously. This was a mistake. Repeated in her head like a broken record.

"He's a decent guy, and like you said, you apologized already. You don't have anything to be nervous about." Akaashi tried to reassure her, but he knew whatever he would say would go in one ear and right out the other.

There's plenty to be nervous of. Y/n thought, but couldn't find the courage to voice it. Instead she nodded and said, "Yeah..."

Practice was over a lot sooner than she would have liked. And she really did try to pay attention to Bo, but she couldn't stop her gaze from moving towards Atsumu. Like a moth drawn to a flame.

And sometimes he'd catch her gaze in return and she'd quickly look else where so she wouldn't get caught.

It was like he knew she was watching him, but honestly, she couldn't help herself.

While the team cleaned up the court and themselves, Y/n and Akaashi waited outside for Bo and whoever else to join them. Normally she would have offered to help clean up, but she was far too anxious and could really use some fresh air. She leaned back against the building, Keiji at her side doing the same. Her gaze was on the sky as she tried to focus on anything, literally anything, other than Atsumu.

"It's not like he's going to bite you," Y/n snorted at Akaashi's words, dropping her gaze to meet his. "No shit."

"I'm just.." He waited patiently for her to speak, allowing the female to take her time. "I don't really know what I was expecting to come out of this? It just feels like.. there's some kind of pressure around us meeting now. Or uh.. meeting formally." She shrugged.

"And I'm worried that I'll say something stupid and embarrass myself. More than I already have. He probably thinks I'm a creep." She deadpanned, lifting her hands to press against her warm face.

Keiji opened his mouth to respond but was cut off before he got the chance. "Y/n! Akaashi! Did you see me play! I DID SO MANY COOL SPIKES!!"

The e/c eyed girl's lip upturned at the sound of Kōtarō's voice. She couldn't help but giggle and turned to face him as he came racing over, a few of his teammates trailing behind. "I did! You were amazing, Bo!"

Kōtarō's cheeks flushed at her praise and he excitedly looped an arm around her shoulders. Y/n laughed some more as she was pulled against him. She too wrapped an arm around him. Forgetting about Atsumu for a few shorts seconds altogether. "I'm so happy you guys were able to make it!" he chirped, sending his famous grin to Akaashi as well.

"Me too! It's been too long. I missed watching you guy's play. Kuroo said he'd stop by next time and bring you a snack since he missed it." Y/n used to watch Bokuto play a lot more often, but now she was so busy she didn't get as many opportunities as before. It was kind of sad but she made up for it by bribing him with snacks.

"Alright! That's awesome!"

"Oh! Lemme introduce you!" He whirled around to face the few of his friend's who had joined him. She wasn't sure if they were planning on doing anything or not, but she didn't really get a chance to ask. The only one she really recognized was Hinata, and honestly the rest of their names kinda passed over her head. She knew she had met a couple of them before, but Y/n had never been very good with remembering names. Y/n embraced Shōyō joyously, laughing as he told her of his own plays, making all kinds of noises in the process. "And this is Miya Atsumu!"

Her gaze flicked up to the blonde, it wasn't that she hadn't noticed he was there, she just simply ignored him. Was that rude? Maybe?? It was probably best she didn't acknowledge the whole ass smacking thing, so she decided not to mention it. "Hello, it's nice to meet you!"

Of course he recognized her instantly. When a cute girl accidentally hits you in the ass, you tend to remember her.

His lips upturned in a cheeky grin, clearly amused as he replied. "You're in one of my classes, right?"

Y/n's cheeks instantly heated and she did her best to keep herself composed despite the fact that she wanted to dissolve into nothing. "Yeah, I think so. You do look familiar but that might be because I've seen you and Bo play together."

Just keep it cool... Maybe he doesn't fully recognize you?

"You're the girl who slapped my ass, right?"

OKAY HE REMEMBERS- HE DEFINITELY FUCKING REMEMBERS-

Bokuto wheezed and a few of his teammates shared a look of both amusement and confusion. Y/n wanted to die. And definitely looked like it too.

"Nngg- No- that- hah you must have got me mistaken with someone else..." She waved him off, trying to seem nonchalant and failing miserably. Y/n just hoped Atsumu would drop the subject and they would move on-

"I don't think so. You slapped it during that one time in our buisiness class with Miss. Sato." His head tilted to the side and that cheeky grin of his melted into a smirk- that she may or may not have found extremely attractive-

Y/n blinked. Mouth partially open as she tried to find the right words to express herself. Something that she wouldn't regret saying later.

"Your booty must not have been very memerable." WHAT ARE YOU DOING ASKJDFKGJdFH- THATS NOT SOMETHING YOU WONT REGRETTTT-

Bo cackled like a damn witch and Akaashi rose a brow in mild confusion.

"I am so confused right now.." Hinata mumbled, earning a clap on the back from Suna. "You and me both."

Atsumu, however, recovered rather quickly from his suprsise and let out a soft chuckle. "Oh really? I'm not sure if I should be offended or not." He hummed and Y/n swore her heart died on the spot.

"Not. Definitely not." She swallowed thickly and turned quickly towards Bokuto. "Don't you eat? Like- food? Dinner- after practice." She was so flustered she could hardly get the words out, and while it was very amusing, Bo decided to humor her and nodded quickly. Besides, he was hungry.

"Yes, we eat." He chortled, shaking his head a little. "You guys in for grabbing a bite?"

"Oh definitely." Suna mused, slinging an arm across Atsumu's shoulders. "I think we're all curious to see where the night takes us."

━

"I'm such an idiot." Y/n whined, hitting her head against the window of Akaashi's car. He couldn't help but allow a small smile to travel onto his face in mild amusement. "It wasn't that bad."

"It wasn't very good either." Bo mused from the backseat next to Hinata and Y/n placed her face in her hands, mumbling out something incoherent.

"What was that?"

"I wanna yeet myself into traffic."

Akaashi rolled his eyes. "You're so dramatic."

━

She sat across from Bo and Hinata, with Akaashi next to her. Y/n busied herself with scrolling through TikTok's while she waited for the rest of the group to come. They were the first to arrive, and made sure to get a table big enough for everyone. She didn't even know who was all coming, she guessed just the people she was with before?

"Oh, they're here." Y/n glanced up from her phone to see the Miya brothers and Suna. She swore there was more of them coming, but she supposed they elected to stay behind or do something else.

"Osamu wanted to come, so we picked him up on the way. That's why we're late." Suna hummed, taking a spot next to Bokuto.

"Don't blame me. You're the one who messaged me to ask if I wanted to join you." Said male huffed, sitting on Akaashi's other side.

"It's all good, we don't mind." Y/n sent a small smile, trying to make up for her mess earlier.

"Good, cuz if ya did we'd have a problem." Atsumu teased, plopping down in a spot next to Y/n. Even though he could have sat literally anywhere else.

Y/n's cheeks warmed and her smile grew nervous. "Are the rest of the guys not coming?" She dodged his comment, truth be told, she didn't know how to reply to it so she just- didn't.

"Nah. They had other plans. Some have to wake up early for class." Suna didn't bother to look up from the menu as he spoke. He had never been here before, so he was curious to see what they had to offer.

"What is this place?"

"Y/n picked it." Akaashi mumbled, stirring his straw in his drink absentmindedly.

"It had good reviews." She shrugged, taking a sip of her own beverage.

"So, you guys live together, right?" Osamu asked, placing his menu down after deciding what he wanted to order.

Bokuto nodded. "Yeah, with Kenma, Kuroo and Tsukishima too."

"How'd you manage that?"

"Well we figured renting a house near the university would be better than the dorms or an apartment. And we all wanted to live together anyway."

"How did you end up there, Y/n?" The h/c haired girl glanced up at the mention of her name, peeking up towards Atsumu.

"Bo, Kaashi, and I all went to the same high school. We've been friends for years. At the time I was couch surfing after having an issue at my apartment with a stinky roommate and they offered up their last room."

"The rest is history." Bo sighed, reaching over to grab her chin teasingly. She yanked it out of his grasp and stuck out her tongue.

"Akaashi and Kenma aren't bad to live with, but the rest I could do without." She jested, and it was his turn to stick his tongue out at her.

"You wound me, Y/n. After everything I've done for you."

"I feel the same about Samu. Tsumu I could live without." Suna claimed, snickering at the mildly offended look on Atsumu's face.

Samu could only grin. "Hah, I'm the favourite."

"Well that's not very nice, Sunarin." The blonde twin mumbled, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back in his chair. Y/n tried not to think about how hot he looked right now.

Suna shrugged, "I'm not a very nice guy."

"I think you're nice." Hinata piped up, and Y/n almost melted. "You're so sweet. Blind, but sweet."

━

Y/n let out a soft sigh as the cool night air hit her flushed cheeks. "It's so nice out here."

"It's so hot in there." Atsumu groaned, folding his hands behind his head.

"I swear their furnace is broken." Suna added and the other two nodded in agreement.

"It was fine at first.." she mumbled, Kuroo's sweater hanging around her waist. She had to take it off at somepoint because she was absolutely dying from the heat. She nearly whacked Atsumu in the process and while the table found it funny she was mortified.

"You're sure you good to sleep over, Hinata?" She turned to look towards the orange haired male, who jumped up at the sound of his name.

"Hmm? Oh yeah, I'll be good on the couch, no worries." He smiled.

"You could always sleep with Bokuto, though you might end up on the floor." Keiji rubbed the back of his neck, as if recalling the memories and Bo's cheeks flushed in mild embarrassment.

"Hey, I warned you beforehand. And I'm not that bad."

Atsumu winced, "I beg to differ."

"We should have a sleepover with all of us one day." Bo was quick to change the subject, and Akaashi and Y/n exchanged smirks.

"Who get's to sleep in Y/n's bed?" Atsumu teased, slinging an arm across her shoulders.

If she thought her face was red from before, she was sorely mistaken. "I-" she cleared her throat, trying to get her brain to function properly, to no avail.

"Lettuce! I want some lettuce!" She ducked out of his hold and moved towards the car, getting in before she could say something even stupdier than she just did.

"Lettuce?" Suna scrunched his nose in confusion.

"I think you broke her." Osamu hummed, glancing towards his brother.

"I think you're right."

"Is she gonna be okay?" Hinata asked, watching as she sunk down in her seat through the window. Burying her red face in her hands.

"More or less." Akaashi hummed.

━

"How'd it go?" Kenma glanced up from his spot on the couch at the sound of his friends returning home. Tsukishima sat next to him, headphones slung around his neck and Kuroo was sitting on the floor, pausing the game he and Kenma were playing on the telly.

Y/n let out a comically long groan, flopping onto the floor the moment she got the chance.

"That pretty much sums it up."

7 notes · View notes

lemoncrushh · 7 months ago

Text

Wild Horses - Three

Summary: Amber Crosby didn’t end up with the life she’d expected, but that didn’t keep her from following her dream. A young, up and coming country recording artist, she and her band set out to do just that. Trying to leave her past behind, it wasn’t until meeting Harry Styles that she realized just how her life could take a turn and alter her future forever.

A/N: Please note all portions in italics are meant to be flashbacks :).

STORY PAGE

Chapter Three Word Count: 5.1k+

"I just wanna know you better, know you better, know you better now..." - Taylor Swift; Everything Has Changed (ft. Ed Sheeran)

Harry clapped enthusiastically when Amber and her band finished the song they'd been rehearsing. Watching from the audience, he caught the little smirk on Amber's face as she looked at the ground and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. It had been their third run-through and he could tell she was nervous. It could have been because it was supposed to be their new single and she wanted to get it just right, or it could have been because he was watching, he wasn't sure. Either way, he thought they sounded great, and by Friday night when the tour officially kicked off, he had no doubt she'd have it down perfectly.

Opting for a break, Amber slung her guitar strap over her head and laid her instrument on its stand.

"That's good for now, guys," she told her band. "Next time, let's try it a little faster tempo maybe? See how it sounds with less echo, too."

Johnny and Brendan nodded, returning their guitars to their stands before following Carter backstage. Rising from his seat, Harry met Amber beside the soundboard where she discussed briefly with the tech a few things she wanted to tweak next time.

"Sounding good up there," he commented.

"Ugh, I don't know," she replied, biting her lip as she tucked that same stubborn strand of hair behind her ear. "I feel a little rusty. I hope it sounds better Friday night."

"Don't be so hard on yourself," encouraged Harry. "You're really talented. I wouldn't have invited you here if I didn't believe it."

Amber's face softened, a bit of rosiness on her cheeks which did not go unnoticed by Harry.

"Thanks," she whispered.

Harry leaned forward. "Do I make you nervous?" he asked softly.

"Huh?" She hadn't meant to make that sound. She regretted it immediately. Harry smiled anyway.

"By being here," he explained. "Watching your rehearsal."

"Oh, um..." Amber swallowed. "Well, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't at least a little nervous. But...I kinda like you being here. Makes me feel...important. Like I've made it, or something."

Harry's grin widened as he stood up straight. "Good. You should feel that way."

Unsure how to reply, Amber shrugged. "Um...I'm gonna go..." she pointed behind her, "grab a bite to eat."

"Of course."

"I don't suppose..." Amber hesitated. Harry raised his eyebrows in question. "...you ever eat dinner with your opening act?"

Amber caught the slight twitch in Harry's lips before his left dimple appeared.

"I mean...I know you send them trays of snacks and sodas and bottled water...which by the way," she held up her hands, "we really did appreciate! Oh my God, did I say that already?"

Harry chuckled then. "You did."

She was cute, he admitted to himself. Alright, so maybe he'd admitted it to himself already, when they'd first met in fact. But almost as quickly, he'd vowed that this would be strictly a professional relationship, albeit a friendly one. Getting involved in any other way would be a recipe for disaster, and he was willing to stick to his guns. Still, when she'd thanked him profusely for the food he'd set up for the band backstage, the flowers and wine in her hotel room, and again for inviting her band on tour, he couldn't help but feel a wee bit...of a stomach flip - butterflies in his tummy, behind his matching tattoo. And perhaps, that was why he'd found himself strolling into the audience and taking a seat to watch her rehearsal during his free time.

"So...would you like to join us? I doubt we're doing anything fancy. Brendan said he wanted to find some barbecue."

With a slight grin, Harry shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Actually, I have plans," he said. "But maybe next time."

"Oh," Amber mouthed, unable to hide her disappointment. She felt dumb. "'kay."

"Have a nice dinner," said Harry. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Giving him a weak smile, Amber said her goodbyes and walked away to find her band. Harry watched her until she'd disappeared behind the stage. Then with a sigh, he turned around and left the way he'd arrived.

Amber picked at her potato salad, her barbecue sandwich half-eaten. She didn't know why it had disappointed her so much that Harry hadn't joined her for dinner. He had plans, so what? It didn't mean he hadn't wanted to come. And he had said maybe next time. Still, her stomach felt like a pinball machine, the little metal ball rolling around aimlessly and making her nauseous.

"You gonna eat that?" Amber heard next to her. Looking up at Carter, she blinked.

"What?"

"The other half," Carter gestured at her plate with his thumb.

"Oh," Amber sighed. "No. Go ahead."

With a toothy grin, Carter grabbed the sandwich and shoved it into his mouth. Resting her chin in her hand, Amber looked around the restaurant, ready for her escape.

"What's with you?" asked Carter, reaching for his soda to wash down the sandwich he'd just devoured.

"With me?" Amber raised a brow.

"Yeah, you've been quiet all night. And you've barely eaten. You feel okay?"

"I'm fine."

"Something on your mind?"

Amber shook her head. "No, I'm fine."

Carter rolled his eyes, sipping his Coke through the straw. "Whatever."

"What does that mean?"

"It means...whatever."

Amber glared at Carter until he sat back in his chair.

"It's like I can't win with you," he said. "I'm trying to give you your space like you wanted, just be friends. I try to be nice and you snap at me. I try to be concerned and ask if you're okay, and you shut me out."

"I'm not shutting you out-"

"'I'm fine' is what you say when you're not fine, Amber. I know you."

"You know me?" she scoffed.

Carter turned in his seat to face her. "Yeah, I do. You used to talk to me, Ambs. I miss that."

Amber shifted her gaze to Johnny and Brendan across the table who seemed to be deep in their own conversation. She sighed.

"I miss it too," she admitted.

"Yeah?"

Looking down at her plate, she nodded. "Sometimes."

"Pffft," Carter sounded as he rose from his chair. "Tell you what. When that sometimes comes around again, let me know. I'm gonna take a leak. I'll meet you in the van."

Amber glared at Carter incredulously as he walked away. What the hell did he expect her to do, cry and beg to have him hold her while she confessed her deepest, darkest secrets? She'd done that already. And if memory serves, it was always while finishing off a bottle of booze. She was done with that, she'd promised herself.

"What's his deal now?" asked Brendan.

"Who the fuck knows," Johnny mumbled.

"Boy needs to get-"

"Don't!" Amber interrupted, her hand raised.

"Sorry," Brendan said sheepishly.

"Let's go." Grabbing the van keys, Amber stood up. "When we get back, let's do a couple run-throughs and call it a night. I'd like to turn in early."

Standing alone in the kitchen, Amber silently cursed herself for deciding to come to the party. She pulled her phone from her pocket, ready to text Faith, but changed her mind. They hadn't even been there an hour yet, and Faith would have a cow if she had to leave so early.

"Hey."

Amber spun around at the sound, not sure if it was meant for her. Face to face with Dallas Marker, she widened her eyes, her hand gripping her Solo cup. Surely he wasn't speaking to her.

"Are you in my Chem class?" he asked.

"Um, no," she muttered.

"Oh. Thought you were. What's your name?"

"Amber."

"Amber..." he repeated, letting the name simmer on his lips. "Don't think I know an Amber. You a Junior or Senior?"

Amber blushed, looking down at her cup. "Neither."

"Oh shit, you're a Freshman?"

"No, Sophomore."

"Oh, phew," Dallas sounded. "Thank God."

"Why?" Amber asked, furrowing her brow.

Dallas shrugged, a smirk on his face. "Just 'cause you're cute. And I woulda been disappointed if you weren't at least sixteen."

"Oh..." Amber swallowed hard. She swore she was about to tell him she wouldn't be sixteen until next summer, but two more boys walked into the kitchen, interrupting her confession.

"Dallas, bro!" exclaimed the tall guy. Amber was pretty sure he was on the football team, but she forgot his name.

Dallas turned, smacking hands with both boys. "You guys drunk yet?"

"Nah, man," said tall guy. "Just got here. What ya got?"

Dallas shrugged. "Ain't my party, bro."

The other two boys walked around Dallas to the kitchen counter, inspecting the various bottles. One of them picked up the Jack Daniels with a nod.

"Fuck yeah, dude."

"Beer's for pussies," said the other.

Dallas chuckled, suddenly remembering Amber's presence.

"Hey, y'all know Amber?" he asked, throwing his arm around her shoulders. "She's a Sophomore."

The other boys each gave a short nod before filling their own Solo cups with ice and whatever liquor they preferred.

"Whatcha drinkin'?" Dallas asked Amber, looking over her shoulder into her cup.

"Just Coke," she replied meekly.

"Let's put something in that Coke," insisted Dallas.

Amber giggled, unsure if it was because of what he'd said or the fact that his breath tickled her ear. Either way, she wasn't about to refuse a suggestion from Dallas Marker. She watched as he poured a generous amount of Jack into her cup, topping it off with a tiny bit more soda. Then with a sly grin, he handed the cup back to her.

"Drink up," he said.

Amber could smell the strong, pungent odor of alcohol before even taking one sip. But Dallas's eager eyes on her made her lose her senses, and before she knew it, she'd gulped down half the cup. All three boys let out a chorus of whoops and hollers, cheering her on.

"Hell yeah, babe," beamed Dallas, his own cup in his hand as the other slipped around her waist. "My kinda girl."

Amber could taste it on her tongue, a phantom of flavor. She needed a drink. No, she shook her head. She wanted a drink, but she didn't need it.

She sat on her hotel bed, staring at the wall. Wringing her hands in her lap, she took several deep breaths. She knew she could open the mini bar and grab a little bottle of something, but she also knew those things were damn expensive. Besides, one wouldn't end up being enough to get drunk and she'd wind up spending a fortune just to numb herself. Her mouth watered as she debated taking the elevator down to the bar.

The tour kicked off the next day. She was nervous as hell. What if she fucked up on stage, forgot a line to a song or didn't realize her guitar was out of tune? What if the lights got in her eyes and she passed out? What if her voice cracked and everyone laughed?

Taking another deep breath, she rose from the bed, grabbing her room key. Then tip-toeing out into the hall, she turned toward the elevators. She'd just pressed the button when the doors opened and she saw two familiar faces.

"Oh!" she gasped.

"Hi, Amber," grinned Harry as Jeffrey held the door.

"Hi," she greeted, stepping hesitantly inside.

"Where are you off to this evening?"

"Um..." she looked between Harry and Jeff, deciding not to confess the truth. "Nowhere, really. Just thought I might get some fresh air."

"That might not be such a good idea," offered Jeff as he released the doors and they closed. "There's already a line of fans outside, and if they see you, it could grow into a large mob in minutes."

"Are you serious?"

"That shouldn't concern her though, Jeffrey," argued Harry.

"In general, no, but because she's billed as your opening act, she may still get recognized. And that could only fuel the fire."

"What fire?" Harry and Amber asked in unison. Catching her eye, Harry winked.

"The belief that you're at this hotel too."

"But I don't always stay at the same hotel," remarked Harry.

"You didn't used to," Jeff agreed. "But now that Amber is under my management, fans of yours have become aware of that. So if they know for certain she's staying at this hotel, then they can only assume I'm here as well. Therefore...you're here."

"Oh for fuck's sake!" Harry groaned, running a hand down his face. Amber bit her lip to keep from giggling.

"It's okay, Jeff," she said. "I understand. Maybe I'll just...wander into the gift shop."

The elevator opened then and Jeff held the door as Harry and Amber stepped off.

"Or you could join us," Harry offered.

"Huh?" Amber sounded, kicking herself once again.

"We were just going to dinner. It's a meeting but..." Harry glanced at Jeff.

"Oh, I can't intrude," Amber held up a hand.

"Nonsense," said Jeff. "You're my client now. I mean, we were going to discuss some personal business, but mostly we just need to eat. Have you eaten?"

"I had a little something earlier," she replied, recalling the microwavable soup. "But my stomach's kind of in knots. Nervous about tomorrow."

"Ah, well you can still join us for a drink, then," offered Jeff. "Or dessert."

"Well..." Amber crinkled her nose. The prospect of a drink did sound good, but she wasn't about to tell them that.

"C'mon," Harry insisted, his hand held out. "I promised to join you for dinner the next time, only you can join me instead."

With a wide smile, Amber tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "How can I say no to that?"

Amber felt a little underdressed in the restaurant in her jeans and cardigan, and she wished she'd had time to run back to her room to change. But Harry and Jeffrey had been so nice to allow her to tag along, there was no way she would have made them wait.

"Another glass of wine, Miss?"

"Oh yes, thank you," Amber smiled at the waiter. She wasn't quite finished with the glass she had, but seeing as both men were already on their second glasses, she figured it was okay to order another.

She'd opted for a greek salad, thinking it wouldn't hurt her stomach too much, but she hadn't anticipated its massive size. She'd barely made a dent in it. She wasn't quite used to such sophistication when it came to food and dining, and she worried she looked like a fish out of water, especially next to Harry Styles.

So far, however, her dinner companions had done nothing but make her feel welcome in their presence. Amber found both Harry and Jeff to be delightfully funny, and the way they cracked jokes with each other only proved to her the deep solidarity of their friendship. As far as she was concerned, Harry was ever the gentleman and she understood why he had such a large following. And although she had only come to know Jeffrey a little better in recent weeks since he'd officially become her manager, it was nice to see this lighthearted side of him.

"So how are you feeling now, Amber?" asked Harry as she swallowed the last of her wine. "Still nervous?"

"Are you kidding?" she laughed, lowering her glass, the color rising in her cheeks. "Of course I am. I've never been on a legit tour like this before. I don't really know what to expect. And I have to go on before you. In front of your fans!"

"But they'll be your fans too, soon enough," remarked Jeff.

"You really think so?"

"Of course. Perhaps not all. There will be those who don't care one iota about the opening act. They show up late, or they chat with their friends or buy merch during your set. But there will still be plenty of fans who get excited about the entire experience, and anything remotely connected to Harry. Including you."

Amber's face softened as she took in Jeff's words. Then stealing a glance at Harry, she saw he had the same grin on his face that he'd had when she'd seen him watching her from the audience. It made her feel...special, excited and a little vulnerable at the same time.

Just then, the waiter returned with her second glass of wine and asked if the table needed anything else.

"Yes, actually," said Jeff, "go ahead and bring us a bottle of champagne. We're celebrating."

"Oh gosh!" Amber gasped. "No way I could drink this wine and champagne!"

She knew that was a lie, she could. But she most certainly did not want to look like a lush in front of her new manager and friend, or worse, let them see her puke.

"No worries, you can send it back," assured Jeff.

"Really?"

"Of course."

Amber gave the waiter an apologetic look as he lifted the glass of wine he'd just set on the table, but he only returned her gaze with a polite smile.

"Sorry, I always feel bad sending things back," Amber mumbled, pushing her hair behind her ear.

"Believe me, that waiter's seen a lot worse," Harry chuckled.

"Not from you, I hope," Amber jabbed.

"God, no. I'm not mean."

"Harry is the poster boy for kindness," added Jeff. "And I can promise you, it's not a put-on."

Relaxing a bit, Amber smiled at Harry.

"I've always been curious about that," she said. "I can barely get my bandmates to get along. How do you stay so sweet and kind, and also grounded?"

"Lots of practice," he grinned.

"And therapy."

"Jeffrey!" exclaimed Harry, his eyebrows raised.

"What? Like it's a surprise? We all need it, especially in this business."

Harry looked back at Amber and shrugged. "It's true. I also meditate a lot. Keeps me calm."

"Hmm," Amber sounded. "I might have to try that."

"I have some apps I can show you, and some good playlists-"

"Ah, here we are," Jeff interrupted when the waiter returned with the champagne.

Unsure how loud the cork would pop, Amber braced herself as she watched the waiter, but was relieved when it wasn't loud like in the movies. Filling the first glass, the waiter placed it in front of her, but she waited until Jeff and Harry had theirs.

"Are we toasting?" asked Amber, lifting her class.

"May I?" Harry eyed Jeffrey who nodded. "To...you, Amber," he said, turning to face her.

"Me?"

"Thank you...for joining me on this tour. I see a great future ahead of you, love. And...I hope...a life-long friendship for us both. I'm excited to get to know you better, and even more thrilled that we'll get to experience this journey together."

Amber stared at Harry for a moment, unable to speak, breathe or even blink.

"Hear, hear!" called Jeff, his glass raised.

"Wow," Amber finally muttered. She wasn't sure whether to wipe her eyes or give Harry a hug. Instead, she clinked her glass against his and then with Jeff's. "Thank you, Harry. That was really nice."

"You're welcome," he said. "I'm only sorry we don't have the entire band here for the toast."

"Oh please, they'd probably ruin the moment anyway," Amber chuckled behind her tears. "Their idea of a toast is a couple pitchers of beer over a Falcons game."

Jeff let out a boisterous laugh as Harry had a look of cringe all over his face.

"Yeah," Amber snorted. "Whatever you do, don't tell them you're Packers fans."

It was Harry's turn to laugh then. Amber noticed she really liked his laugh.

"How did you know we were?"

Amber shrugged with a smirk. "I thought it was common knowledge."

Harry's eyes narrowed, though they continued to sparkle and dance with glee. "Hmm."

A giggle slipped from Amber's throat after she took another sip of champagne. Soon enough, she had to excuse herself to the ladies' room. She was finally feeling loose and happy, not tight and nervous like before. She knew the bubbly had something to do with it, but she couldn't deny it also had to do with a certain British guy sitting at her table. He somehow made her feel at ease while also causing butterflies to dance in her tummy. She didn't know how he did it, but she was willing to spend as much time as possible trying to find out.

Harry could feel Jeffrey's eyes on him as he watched Amber cross the room to the loo. Clearing his throat, he lifted his glass to his lips, taking a long sip.

"Fuck, H," he heard Jeffrey curse low.

"What?" he finally looked at him, setting down his glass.

"Don't do it, man. Please don't go there."

"Don't go where?"

"I see the way you look at her," said Jeff. "I'm not blind."

"I'm not blind either," argued Harry. "She's a pretty girl. But I'm not interested in her that way."

"You swear?"

"Yeah. I like her. I wanna be her friend. That's all."

Jeffrey pursed his lips, not sure if he fully believed Harry, but he also knew Harry never lied to him.

"Besides, I think she could use one," Harry added.

"What makes you say that?"

Harry shrugged. "She just...seems rather lonely."

Jeffrey snorted. "She's in a band with four boys. Four southern, American boys. You don't think that has something to do with it?"

"Perhaps."

"Maybe she needs another girl to be friends with, not you."

Harry glared at Jeffrey. "You don't think I'm a good friend?"

"H, you're the best friend there is, that's not my point. It's not your job to take care of her. Platonically or otherwise."

Harry sat back in his chair and sighed. "I just wanna get to know her, Jeffrey. Is there anything wrong with that?"

"No," Jeff admitted. "Not at all. Just don't forget what could happen...if you step over the line."

"And what exactly could happen, Jeffrey?" Harry leaned forward, his eyes blazing.

Before Jeff could reply, Amber was making her way back to the table. Both men looked up and smiled.

"Well," said Jeff. "I suppose it's my turn."

Laying his cloth napkin on the table, Jeffrey excused himself and crossed the room.

"More champagne?" Harry asked, grabbing the bottle from the ice bucket.

"Mmm...maybe just a little," Amber smiled. "I think it might be going to my head. And my toes."

She let out another little giggle that she hadn't meant to. Harry chuckled though, as he poured the bubbly into her glass.

"Mind if I make a toast?" she asked. "Without Jeff."

"Of course."

"That came out wrong," Amber shook her head. "I like Jeff a lot, and I'm so grateful to him. I just meant...a toast to you...from me."

Harry's lips curled into a smile as he raised his glass. His gaze focused on the pink of her cheeks and the berry shade of her lips that she must have touched up in the restroom.

"Thank you..." she began hesitantly, "for your overwhelming kindness. You really do live up to your motto, and I couldn't be more grateful that you chose me and my band to join you on tour. I um...haven't had the best of luck in the past...even the more recent past...and I'm not exactly sure yet what you see in me. But whatever it is, I'm so happy the stars aligned this time. I only hope I can make you proud."

Harry's green eyes met her blue ones then, and for a moment he was speechless. Then taking a breath, he grinned and tapped his glass to hers.

"That was...more than a toast, love," he choked. "But thank you."

Amber groaned. "Too mushy? I'm so not good at this."

"No, no. It was lovely." Harry blinked slowly. "You're lovely."

He caught the blush in her cheeks deepening as she looked down and took a sip of champagne.

"By the way," he added, setting down his own glass, "I've been meaning to ask you. How did you come to know the lads in your band?"

Amber giggled again, quickly covering her mouth.

"Did I say something wrong?"

She shook her head. "No. Just...lads. That's so cute."

Harry rolled his eyes, feeling himself blush a tiny bit.

"Sorry," Amber covered her mouth again. "I'm not making fun. I'm just so used to hanging around frat boys all day, the British vernacular catches me off guard."

"Frat boys?" Harry laughed.

"Yeah, I mean, they might as well be. They act like it sometimes."

"So tell me about them," Harry folded his arms on the table. "I chatted a bit with each of them, just some pleasantries to get to know them. But I'd like to get your take."

"Well..." she paused and then giggled slightly. Harry liked her laugh. It was cute without being too dainty. "I'm not sure the word 'pleasantries' is even in their vocabulary. But they're good guys. I've known them all a while."

"Since school?"

"No. None of us went to the same school. Johnny's brother used to date my cousin years ago. That's how we met. He was actually in a different band then, a rock cover band. We used to go see them play, mostly at places I could go to since I wasn't twenty-one yet. But sometimes somebody knew the bar owner and got me in anyway. They would let me come up on stage and sing a song or two. When they disbanded, Johnny was looking for another group, and he already knew Carter who was a drummer, so they formed their own band."

"And they asked you to join?"

"Not at first," said Amber. "But I'd written a handful of songs, and I really wanted to find a band to play them. So I asked Johnny if he wouldn't mind trying them out with me. He thought they were great and convinced the rest of the band to give me a shot."

"And you said the stars didn't align," Harry commented.

"I'm giving you the short version," Amber smirked. "The interview version."

"Ah," Harry nodded. "Maybe one day you'll give me the long, 'confiding in a friend' version."

Amber's lips spread into a pretty smile. "Maybe. Are you saying you're my friend?"

"I hope so. I'd like to be."

Biting her lip, she tilted her head and pushed that stubborn strand of hair behind her ear. Harry's fingers itched to reach out and touch it.

"I'd like that, too," she said softly.

Jeffrey returned then, the waiter soon following, asking if they needed anything else. Politely declining, Jeff paid the bill and the three of them rose from the table.

In the lift, Harry leaned forward and whispered in Amber's ear. "Still nervous?"

"Yeah," she grinned. "But in a different way."

"How so?"

"I still have first night stage jitters," she said. "But I'm excited to have a friend."

Harry wasn't quite sure why, but he felt his hand reach the back of Amber's arm and slide down to her hand, giving it a squeeze. He smiled when she squeezed back. When the elevator doors opened to her floor, however, he was disappointed when he felt her let go.

"Have a good night, Amber," announced Jeffrey.

"Thanks, you too," she said, stepping out into the hallway.

"Goodnight, Amber," called Harry. She turned and caught his dimpled smile as he held the door. "We should do this again."

She tilted her head and beamed at him. He suddenly felt warmth ooze throughout his entire body.

"I'd like that, too," she repeated. "Goodnight, Harry."

She watched the elevator doors close before she turned and made her way to her room, the apparent giddiness still on her face.

"Hey, where've you been?" she suddenly heard behind her as she slipped in her key. With a jolt, she turned and saw Carter standing with his arms crossed.

"Oh, hey. I went to dinner," she replied.

"With who?"

"Harry and Jeff."

"Yeah? Just you?"

Amber caught the disappointment in his tone, but it was masked by the perturbed expression on his face.

"It was kind of last minute," she explained. "I met them in the elevator and they invited me."

"You could have called me," remarked Carter.

"Sorry. I didn't think-"

"Nah, of course you didn't," Carter scoffed. As he took a step closer, Amber could smell the alcohol on his breath. But the irony in his next words surprised her. "You've been drinking."

"So have you," she declared.

"Yeah 'cause you didn't show."

Amber frowned. "Did we have plans?"

"No. Just...night before a gig...you're usually nervous. I thought you'd be knocking on my door."

Exhaling loudly, Amber turned back to her door, inserting the key once more.

"Goodnight, Carter," she called as she opened the door and stepped inside her room.

Two hands grabbed her waist within seconds and pushed her against the wall, knocking the breath out of her. She whimpered as Carter's body pressed against her back, pinning her so she couldn't escape.

"You were drinking with him, weren't you?" he growled in her ear.

"We...we had champagne," Amber explained shakily. "Jeff bought it to celebrate."

"You like him?"

"Jeff? He's our manager!"

"No, fucking Styles!" Carter yelled.

"Get off me, Carter!" Amber shouted, finding some of her strength. Sliding her hand down the wall, she managed to elbow him in the ribs. He stumbled back, his eyes glassy.

"You fucking like him," he muttered, his words slurred.

"He's my friend," she declared, getting her bearings.

"I thought I was your friend."

Amber glared at Carter. His words had a pout to them, but his body and gaze still showed nothing but pure rage.

"Get out," she said.

"Huh?"

Amber dared to take a step closer, pointing to the door. "Get the fuck out of my room, Carter! Now!"

"Goddamn slut," he mumbled as he exited the room, the door slamming behind him.

Falling face down on the bed, Amber began to cry, her entire body trembling. Carter had been persistent in wanting to get back to...whatever it was they'd had. But this was the first time she'd ever been physically afraid of him.

It had to be the alcohol, she told herself. It wasn't him. He wasn't himself when he drank. He was just jealous and the booze fueled his anger. Tomorrow he might not even remember what he'd done.

Tomorrow was the first show of the tour. It was a big day. She couldn't lose her drummer now.

tagging: @freedomfireflies, @daphnesutton

If you'd like to be added to the taglist, please let me know.

MASTERLIST

13 notes · View notes

autobot-ratchet · 5 months ago

Text

MTMTE 4-6 (plus Spotlight Trailcutter and Hoist)

MTMTE 4

oh hell yeah time for one of my favorite arcs in the whole story, it's Delphi time baybeeeeeeee

oh my god I forgot Red Alert and Swerve were roommates in early MTMTE lmfAO god poor Red Alert

aww man Pipes is sweet. Can't wait to get my heart broken all over again when he gets stomped lmAO

love Drift pretending to be brave like “would I even be here if the DJD scared me in the slightest” hard cut to Drift begging Ratchet to kill him before the DJD can get him

also love Drift slicing some poor dude into ribbons for the crime of shuffling unnervingly toward Pipes. But he's not nervous or anything, not on edge, perfectly calm

and Tailgate learns the truth of the war

damn, Cyclonus didn't have to do all that to Tailgate, I know he barely even felt that punch

Love Drift surrounding Ratchet with his swords, also love Ratchet holding Drift's arm down to keep him from attacking Pipes, god they're both so good, I fucking love Drift and I fucking love Ratchet

straight up if Drift wasn't such a show off with all his fancy moves and shit he wouldn't have gotten hit with the rust disease lmAO but he HAD to go vehicle mode to dodge Pipes's shuffling

eeeeeyyyyyy Fort Max is back

MTMTE 5

fuckin rip to those two rando decepticons

ooh get his ass First Aid

LOVE Ratchet changing into alt mode before Ambulon is even done begging him not to, guy's gotta do what he can to save his patients that's all there is to it

gdhfsghjl god it is so funny how often they trust what the autopedia says, Tailgate really just edited his own wiki page like “and he was super strong and smart and cool and the records show that his meat was huge and he was best friends with the president”

“predominantly organic universe,” interesting. I know we later see different kinds of mechanical beings but I didn't realize that there were significantly less kinds of mechanical races than organic, I figured they were closer to 50/50

slurps up all this foreshadowing

fuckin Pharma doing the “camera angle when an anime character is about to go insane” thing. God it is still so funny how fast he jumped headfirst into his joker arc. Also kinda sad if you think too hard about it, like he is so clearly not the villain type, he is so bad at it. But he must have felt so guilty that he truly believed there was no redemption that could save him, which is incredibly tragic, but also he is very difficult to take seriously when he says all this cartoon villain shit

“I'm miles from anyone I truly care about” fuckin liar lmAO

god. Still love that Drift is the one to stop Pharma from shooting Ratchet. How'd he even get up here. Who let him leave the medbay and shuffle his rusty ass all the way to the roof of this fucking building

Spotlight: Trailcutter

Teebs is also very sweet. Can't wait to get my heart broken all over again by him as well

“Brainstorm, Chromedome, and Highbrow- you're all heads, I just thought it was funny” a HEE HEE HOO

“I wish I was normal and I wish everyone would just shut up” fucking MOOD Teebs you are so valid

lol get owned, Lockdown

Rodimus really gave Hoist a gold-plated pin-up of himself. Not even his current self, that's his Hot Rod design

Spotlight: Hoist

I will never be able to see this panel with Hoist telling Swerve about the scanner scope without thinking of that edit someone did to make it say “See that, Swerve? That thing there?" “The internet?” “Do not trust the internet. The internet lies.”

gfdsjks Swerve just “um actually'd” Perceptor shut the hell up

I do like these little glimpses of characters that ultimately didn't get much screentime outside these spotlights, like it's so easy to forget that Sunstreaker was ever on the Lost Light bc he didn't get to do much before he was transferred back over to Barber's comic (it's been years since I've read those as well and I do not remember what the comic's name was at that point and I refuse to look it up)

damn I forgot how rude Swerve is in early MTMTE, he's just out here roasting people unprompted

oh it's bc he's deflecting the fact that he's dying lmfAO fuck forgot about that part

“I know it's neither the time nor the place but damn we look good” it is always the time and place Sunstreaker, you are so FUCKING valid

honestly? Love the idea of the phobia shield. Love that kind of mind-fuckery, would've loved to see it used on more characters lmAO

MTMTE 6

absolutely love the combo of Rung and Whirl being Fort Max's hostages, love how harsh Whirl is, gimme that CONFLICT

aw come on Max don't deadname Roddy like that

oooouuhhguhgh Whirl tells his backstory only when Rung's life is threatened *points at Whirl* haha you caaaaaaaare

god I love how fucked up the way they pacify Fort Max is. Honestly this whole issue is fucked up and I love it

Knowing that Drift is on Overlord duty, his talk about how Red Alert is snooping around too much hits different lmAO

#mtmte retrospective

2 notes · View notes

rimouskis · 2 years ago

Note

Genuinely in shock that somehow we kept Rusty Tanger and Geno. Like before the off-season I was already accepting the fact that we’d lose one of them (at least).

Also somehow Raks too????

I feel like if this experience taught me anything, it's that I don't trust the media worth a damn. I am so frustrated with how this went down from every single angle, and (not to sound like a right wing nut) the media made it ten thousand times worse.

I was genuinely and seriously in "of course geno will come back :)" land when left to my own devices. it was only when I started reading the Panic Pieces from our Dear Favorite Writers that I actually got nervous. then they started publishing, like, multiple articles within 48 hours of each other, escalating in severity and fear. it was ridiculous, and so much of it was.... bunk? absolutely bungled? ill-sourced?

to me it seemed evident that some writers had lost most, if not all, inside connections that they previously had, and that tanked their "inside knowledge" considerably. now: that's not the writers' fault, but that doesn't obligate them to publish rumors, spit on 'em to shine 'em up, and call 'em likely, you know?

like, no one fucking knew about the rusty deal. which: fine, GMRH is quiet, alright, but that it took EVERYONE by surprise isn't how we're used to things going around here, and it threw off basically every reporter's estimation of how this summer would go. and THEN the tanger deal, which was like... basically unbelievable if your impression was garnered from the media (who all agreed that the pens would lose tanger this summer barring a miracle and personality replacement for kris). I was shocked, and that's when I knew something was seriously up, because I had taken some reporters' opinions earnestly and they were being proven wrong on multiple points in VERY short order, and it made their articles look kinda goofy in hindsight.

that's not to say I'm unsympathetic; I know people who have worked in News for years, some who have recently lost their jobs and livelihoods and crafts-of-30-years because of the shuttering of newspapers and traditional reporting. I know that, unfortunately, news is a business and these people need clicks. I don't doubt for a SECOND that this entire ordeal was a fantastic opportunity for them financially. I think it sucks, but it's a reality of the job, and I'm willing to understand it.

however: the geno situation got so, so, so out of control.

good god some of those articles were becoming clickbaity as shit, lol. it got pretty ridiculous at the end, and even though we ALL were sitting here like "alright cool, so geno and the pens are playing hardball with each other and using their favorite weapons on each other: The Media", that doesn't mean that those very-much-intentionally-leaked things didn't cause a ton of stress, ahaha.

I was convinced—CONVINCED—that Geno's "I'm going to free agency, you bastards" move was him DEMANDING that hextall blink first, but that doesn't change the facts that: he said he was open to testing the market, he could have gotten a great offer, and he could have taken it. I don't think he threw that threat down lightly, but I really truly honestly (my friends will tell you) believed that that move was him using the last thing in his arsenal. I could be wrong! he really could have (and by a lot of current indications, did) mean that as an earnest "fuck you, I'll go", but my poor little optimist heart was clinging onto that idea, and I will fully accept and admit that geno was absolutely waging psychological war on the pens front office, very intentionally, in an attempt to

get what he wanted(/deserved) and

make them look bad.

anyways, back to my point: I was genuinely doing really well (yay, disassociation and blind necessary optimism) if I didn't read any media pieces on the situation, and because of my belief that those pieces were written with both a lack of real knowledge of the situation (NO ONE FUCKING KNEW GENO WAS GOING TO SIGN. NO ONE LEAKED IT. NO INSIDERS. THE PENS POSTED IT.) and the intent to drive traffic during an intense and, yes, dramatic moment...

well, we'll just say that in addition to side-eyeing the fuck out of the pens front office/org, I will also be gazing upon several beat reporters skeptically for a hot minute.

#this is long sorry #ANYWAYS this is to say:#same I had resigned myself that we were losing rusty AND kris #and then we lost neither #and then almost lost geno #and it was: A Lot #ask #anonymous

23 notes · View notes

eddieheart · 2 years ago

Text

FIGHTER

Words : 2752

Fandom : Shameless (US)

Pairings : NONE

Description : Lip is down a fighter and tasks Mandy with finding a new one. (Re-posted from Wattpad)

This is the first thing I've written in a long time, so I'm a little rusty. April 21, 2022

Slightly inspired by SVU and the start of season two. Enjoy. Let me know if you want more.

WARNING: cursing, fighting, drugs, gore, smoking, kidnapping, crime, ect...

MANDY

The day started off normally enough, save for the fact that Lip's fighter ditched today.

He got the living shit beat out of him. It was really fuckin' fun.

But of course all good things must come to and end, and immediately after the fight he said something about recruiting a few more karate kids.

It's not my problem, technically it's Ian's, but it just so happens my brothers are idiots. And they know people, who know people, who know this guy, that knows this other guy who's friends with this guy that fights. So it just my luck eh?

I may or may not have let it slip to Ian and know they want him, great.

So here I am in a dingy alleyway, again, looking for this 'friend of a friend, who knows a guy'.

They said look for the old wrinkle fuck with a beer belly. Amazing description really, so unique.

Anyway that's where I am now with a hundred bucks in my pocket waiting for an old fuck.

I look over and see a guy make eye contact with me, he lifts his brows and walk over.

"You the Milkavich girl? Hear ya' got somin' fo' me." Disgusting price of shit.

His breath smells like a dead rat in a beer keg and he doesn't look any better either.

I nod and pull out the cash.

"Date, Time, location." He grumbled

"I got it written down," I reach into my bra and pull out a folded piece of paper, Lip's idea, and hand it to him. "What's this dude's name anyway?"

He looked up smirked and pocket the paper, keeping a firm hand on his money.

"Nick, and don't put 'em up with any pussy's or somin' I'll never hear the fuckin' end of it. Bitches all day long 'I wan' a reall challenge' yea suck my balls kid."

I stare at him, eventually he realized I don't give a shit and shakes his head.

"Whateve'."

"Just make sure he's there on time, late no pay, lose no pay, got it?" I asked, he nodded and walked off, chuckling.

"Yea you brats are in for a treat all right, ha."

I roll my eyes, stupid prick.

-the next day-

I had almost forgot about the fight, almost. That was until both Ian and Lip decided to call me, early, to talk about it.

Could they be anymore annoying? Knowing them it's a stupid question to ask.

It's almost 1, time for the fight with the new guy.

He'll be up against this fucker named named Kyle. He's around 200 a lot of muscle, if only he had a brain.

"So um this mystery dude say when he was gonna show up?"

"I told you Lip I gave the guy the paper and the cash, he told me the kid would show up okay." Lip was bouncing from side to side on his feat, hands in his pockets. Impatient as alway.

"He still has five minutes maybe he got hot turned around or something?" Thank god Ian said something, I'm not in the mood to comfort mr. Nervous fuckin' nelly over there.

I see something from the corner of my eye.

"Hey! You nick?!" I yell at the stranger.

He's covered with clothing, his head in a hood. Well at least he doesn't smell like that other fucker.

"You're lucky you ain't late, take that shit of and get in the ring." I yell.

He walks over, into the circle of people. The boys and I move to the other side of the alley, closer to the center of the crowd and the fight.

I peer over at nick, 'wonder what he looks like?'

He's not very big kinda slim, if you ask me. Doesn't look like much, maybe getting Kyle was a mistake.

He throws his jacket off and chucks it at the bell guy, ref or whatever. He tries his hood down peels his hoodie off and, wait a minute-

"Shit man that's a chick, I thought you said you were getting a guy you're brothers knew." Lip scolded me.

"Yea I can see that dipshit, it's a little late now."

Shit.

His- her hair is in two braids by her head, face framed with bangs haphazardly flipped to the side of her face. Her face, painted with a stoic scowl, eyes never leaving Kyle.

He shook his head and laughed at her.

"What really man, I thought you said this be a tough fight." He yelled to the crowd laughing.

"One side we got Kyle other Nick, no crotch shots no hair pulling, got it." The 'ref' said to them, he waited for a nod then continued. "Great, fight!" He yelled finally.

Kyle surged forward running at her. She side stepped and dodged him, quickly pulling her hands up, ready to fight.

Kyle ran into the crowd, growling as they pushed him out, his back facing Nick.

She threw a swift kick to the back of his knees. Bouncing side to side as he fell and stood again.

This time when he charged at her she turned again letting him fall forward, kneeing him in the gut then grabbing his shoulder.

How the fuck she did what she did next I have no idea, Kyle has an easy seventh maybe ninety pounds on this girl.

She pulled his shoulder up then rammed his face down into her knee.

You could her the unmistakeable crunch that rang out as the crowd cheered. She broke his fucking nose on her knee.

He reached up grabbed her braids and threw her down onto the pavement. He then kicked her in the gut as she groaned.

"Welp I guess that's the end of it eh, nice run for a chick though." Lip said as we watched her struggle.

Suddenly like a an electric shock she reached up grabbed his leg and pulled, she jumped up immediately and stomped down on his hand, the horrid crunch only intensified the ever growing tension as she then, stood on his forearm and stomped on his bicep.

He screamed in pain eyes widened with shock and pain. Ouch.

He seemed to try to get up again but she was faster pushing his chest back to the ground with her foot.

Her final brutal action was to kick down on his knee as hard as she could.

She stepped off of him. He wasn't getting up now, definitely not.

His screamed were almost drowned by the noise of the crowd. Almost.

Well fuck.

Ian and Lip looked at me in shock. A look I'm sure I returned. Who was this girl?

The 'ref' rang the bell signalling the end of the savage beating. She looked up, making eye contact with a stranger in the crowd a big black guy, she nodded and he returned it.

She eyes Lip expectantly.

He jumped clearly scared of the girl, hands rammed into his pockets pulling out a chunk of cash holding it as far forward as he could.

She smirked grabbed the money, picked up her coats and walked away. Dam.

The crowd raged on laughing and cheering.

The boys looked at me wide eyed.

"Is it weird that I found that kinda hot." Lip asked.

Ian and I chuckled and walked away. Leaving lip to collect bets and what not.

We walked bumping each other as we went along.

Nick was sitting at the opening of another alleyway. Ian looked to me nervously.

"No Ian, no," I chased after him, "do not talk to the crazy girl." I whisper yelled

"Hey nick right?" He asked staring at her. She didn't seem to notice or care but Ian repeated himself anyway. I grabbed his arm ready to pull away when she finally looked up.

"Did you say something, sorry my left ear is fucked, come over to the other side?" That was not what I expected at all.

Her voice was calm and soft, almost timid as she spoke.

Ian grabbed my arm and pulled us down beside her, to the right this time.

"Sorry, you're Nick right?"

"Don't worry about it, and um yea I'm Nick why."

"Oh we know Lip, Phillip, the uh the guy who paid you." She looked slightly confused as we talked.

"Oh yea, sorry didn't know his name, did you need something?" She asked sweetly.

"No just wanted to ask if you where okay? Do you need anything?" Oh Ian, always the worrier.

"I'm fine thank you though. This'll be enough for rent and lunch today." She smiled

"Well okay then." He smiled back at her.

It was right then that Lip came running down the street calling to us.

"Finally, Mands, Ian what are you doing? Y'a gonna come home with me or not." He looked down and realized nick was there. "Shit sorry man- girl- um you sorry." He was panting now.

"We're coming Lip hold your fucking horses." I sighed and stood Ian following me up.

"Bye nick!" Ian cheerfully called.

She waved back a slight smile on her lips as we walked away.

What a fucking day.

NIC

I smiled as they walked away, they seemed sincere enough.

Was a good fight not that much of a challenge but enough for today.

I got a sweet, sweet two hundred bucks out of it. As well as whatever tazer guy owes me.

I really should learn his name. I pushed myself up wandering around the street for a bit.

A loud ping startled me, I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone.

Change of plans meet @ wearhus

Wish that guy would learn to fucking spell.

When I finally got too tired I made my way to the warehouse quietly stepping inside.

"No, no please not Liam, I can't leave Liam." I heard someone cry out.

I stepped closer and watched as tazer guy screamed at the hobo guy?

He was about to take a toe off before the guy gave in waved goodbye and left.

I looked over, there was a baby, a baby in a cage.

I stormed in keeping my face as calm as possible.

"Nic Nicky my man, here for your cut?" He smile nervously.

"You got my cut taze face?" I deadpanned.

"Straightforward I like that, really. Uh the thing about your cut we're a little short and um -."

I cut him off.

"How much?"

"About ten." He said nervously.

"How much does John Doe over there owe?"

"About eighty nine." He said clearly confused.

"Hundred or thousand."

"Eight thousand nine hundred. Look we have half we're just waiting on-."

"Him really," I rolled my eyes "wipe it clean."

"What?" He said shocked.

"Take what you owe me and clear his debt. Pay me the rest now." I said sternly.

He jumped up and grabbed a black duffel bag. Real inconspicuous, I rolled my eyes for what seamed like the hundredth time. He through the bag at me. I didn't bother looking, he's too scared to stiff me.

"The baby too."

"No really, please don't hurt the baby." I chuckled at him glaring.

"You think I'm that fucked up to hurt a kid, you guys are the ones who kidnapped him. You are holding him for ransom." He signed and picked up the baby.

"Name."

"I think it's Liam or something, dad's name is frank Gallagher." I smirked at him.

I held the little boy in my arms gently holding him to my chest, duffel bag slung over my shoulder.

"Thanks baby, you know I'll be back next time." He nodded as I walked away.

Great a baby. At least he's cute.

I scavenged through the phone book and after finding the address I walked to the store and grabbed some food.

What can I say, I skipped lunch. Plus if a family is freaking out looking for a baby they probably haven't eaten either.

It was still bright by the time I found their house, thank gods for phone books huh.

I approches the house calmly, pushing the gate open and walking forward.

"Hello! Anyone home?!" I yelled as my hand hit the door. I didn't hear anything. Perfect. I readjusted Liam on my hip.

He smiled and giggle happily.

I kneeled down and lifted the doormat. A key. My lucky day. I smiled and opened the door.

When I got inside the strange house I through the key onto the coffee table. I snooped through the house, and after finding the baby's room and changing him I went downstairs to the kitchen.

Liam didn't seem tired so I put him in a high chair while I got to work. Pasta yum.

Ian

I can't believe frank traded our brother for some cash. Fiona led the way as we stormed the building.

We are on a mission get our brother back, at any cost.

Fiona hammered on the door frantically. She almost punched the man who opened the door. He threatened us with a gun.

A pang of nervous energy shot though me. Not Fi though, she pushed him aside and walked in.

We poured our pockets onto the table, ever last bit of money we had. Liam is worth more than anything we could buy.

"Here, we'll get the rest Gallagher's are good for it, we always always pay our dues. Now give us our brother."

"I wish I could girly, someone already picked her up." He said calmly, as he grabbed our money and through it in a bag.

"Take this." He held it out to Fiona.

"What?! No! Where is our brother?!"

"Your debt has been paid, surprise benefactor, you got friends in high places. I don't know where the kid is though. Try your house." He looked at us walking away.

"Go, leave."

He pointed at the door as we looked at home defeated.

We charged down the stairs and outside.

"The fuck, what are we gonna do? What if he's not there?" Fiona cried.

"Game plan okay, home first look for Liam, if he's not there we call Tony okay." Lip assured her, putting a hand on her shoulder to calm her.

To be truthful, I'm fucking terrified.

We got home in record time rushing all the way there.

"The gate's open." Fiona walked to the door. "Door too."

"Do you hear that?" Debbie asked quietly.

We gave each other a look. We pushed the youngest to the back and walked inside.

NICK

I hear footsteps, hopefully Liam's parents are back.

"Hello!" I called out. The steps got louder and soon enough a whole gaggle of people poured into the kitchen.

"The Gallagher's right? Sorry about the mess, when I picked up this little guy I figured you'd be hungry so I made pasta. It's frozen with canned sauce but its surprisingly good." I smiled

"Why do you have our brother? What do you want?!" The tallest girl yelled.

"I went to collect a debt and found this little guy in a cage, I found you're name in the phone book, you really should put your spare key somewhere safer. Want dinner?"

"So you just found him and brought him back, what's the catch? Huh!?" She yelled.

"There isn't any catch, and I'll leave if you want me to, after I get food, I didn't get to eat lunch. And no, there isn't a catch, I just didn't want to leave him there." I stated.

I put the pot of food into the table after filling a plate for myself.

"Wait Nic?" I look up when I hear my name and I'm face to face with the ginger boy from earlier.

"Oh my gosh you guys, hi. I didn't know you lived here." They looked at me strangely.

A small girl with bright red hair ran towards me, breaking through the barrier of the others standing in her way. She grabbed my hip hugging me tightly.

"Thank you for finding my brother!" I looked surprised.

"No problem lil' bit," I pat her back and walk forward, "let's have some food eh."

She smiled at me.

So let me know what you think, want another chapter, and alternative ending. Comments, criticisms or requests? Please let me know, I appreciate every comment.

#shameless #lip gallagher #ian gallagher #mickey milkovich #mandy milkovich #fiona gallagher #liam gallagher #carl gallagher #fight club #fighter girl #original character #original female character #fanfic

16 notes · View notes

barnesandrogersfanfics · 5 years ago

Text

Rose Coloured Glasses - Part 9

A/N: Bit of a shorter chapter to move us along!

Thank you to everyone who is liking/sharing this fic it means so much! ILY 💕

"Frank.... what are you doing here?"

"I really needed to see you, to explain about earlier"

"Nows not a great time"

"Please? I feel awful"

"Cant this wait until tomorrow? Im about to have dinner...." a phone ringing from the living room made me look over my shoulder and Frank was trying to look around me.

"You already have company?" He asked looking surprised that i wasn't alone.

"I..."

Just as i was about to answer Andy came walking out now wearing his suit jacket and coat and Frank scoffed shaking his head as if everything in the world made sense now.

"Hey, i gotta go pick up Jacob" he said to me before looking at Frank and the two exchanging their usual greeting "thanks for locking up tonight i owe you" he patted some keys in his pocket "see you in the morning?"

"Of course"

"Okay, goodnight"

"Goodnight" he smiled at me as moved around Frank and headed to his car, i couldn't help but notice how much he turned back to look at me.

"Guess i know why you wouldn't invite me in..."

"What?"

"You sleeping with him?"

"No! God Frank we're not all like you jumping bed to bed! He came to pick up the office keys" i lied about why Andy was really there.

"Sorry, guess i got a little jealous"

I couldn't help but laugh at Franks words, he was the one sleeping with other people and his saying he got jealous??

"Its not funny....."

"It kinda is considering your the one who decided to slut it around town"

"I..... please can we talk inside?"

A pizza delivery vehicle parked up and young boy came rushing over to hand over my pizza.

"Thank you" i smiled passing him the money and taking the pizza, the boy smiled and was soon back in his car driving away.

"You hungry?" I offered still unsure if this was a good idea but i was starving and Frank didn't show any sign of leaving.

"Sure, i could eat" he nodded following me inside.

Frank made himself at home quickly and i had to admit it was nice to have him around again....I had missed him. But i had to remember he would never be the guy to commit to just one person and i didn't want to think about him with other women when he wasn't with me.

"So i guess we should talk about the other morning?"

"Not really, it was pretty obvious what was going on Frank. Im not stupid" i scoffed.

"I didnt mean for it to happen.... i was more than happy with what we had going on" he motioned between the two of us "we were great together, we had fun right?"

"Im not saying we didn't have fun, i was enjoying what we had" i told him honestly "really enjoying it! But seeing you with that woman....."

"Look i only hooked up with her because i was pissed you couldn't make it.... i had far too much to drink and one thing lead to another...."

"Wow..... you were pissed at me?? I told you why i couldn't make it. Its not like i just couldn't be bothered! You try dealing with hundreds of questions about a dead kid all day and then feel up to partying! i was exhausted! I told you id reschedule its not like id never go meet your friends"

"Im sorry okay, can't we just put this behind us and carry on...?"

"I cant Frank i'm sorry. Seeing you with that woman made me realise i'm not okay with the casual dating thing. The thought that when your not with me your probably fucking some other woman..... i can't do it"

"But you knew what this was..."

"And i thought i could deal with that" i shrugged "i need someone i trust not to hurt me. I need that commitment..."

"And you think your gonna get that from Andy Barber?"

"What?? This isn't about him! Why do you keep bringing Andy up?"

"Incase your forgetting sweetheart, Andy is married. He cant give you what you need either"

"I think you should go, this conversation isn't going anywhere. You cant give me what i need.... your scared to commit to one person and thats what i need. Im sorry Frank, i loved our time together i really did".

"I can try....."

"Its not what you want" i shook my head "you'd get bored with me in no time and then you'd go find someone else"

"You don't know that" he looked at me with sad eyes but shook his head because he knew i was right.

"We can still be friends but thats all i can give you right now. Maybe in the future if you ever decide to settle down things might be different"

"Well i know where to come if that ever happens" he chuckled "but yeah id like us to be friends still..." he reached out and pulled me into his arms holding me tight, he buried his face in my neck and pressed a kiss under my ear.

"I should go" he finally said standing up grabbing his jacket from the chair "thanks for the pizza".

"We should do it again, we can watch a movie and hang out"

"Sounds great sweetheart" he pressed a quick kiss to my forehead and then he left without a word.

After throwing out the empty pizza box i settled on the sofa with a fresh beer. A new episode of The Walking Dead was about to start when my phone lit up with a message. I looked and saw Andy's name, my heart started racing and i suddenly felt very nervous!

Andy: Hey, everything okay there with Frank?

I couldn't help but laugh a little and shake my head.

Y/N: You checking up on me? Lol

Andy: No? Lol

Andy: Kinda..... i know you two were close

Y/N: Nothings going on i promise, he stayed for some pizza while we talked things through and then he left.

Andy: Good. I hated leaving you like that.

Andy: are you okay about what happened with us?

Y/N: didn't i seem okay about it then? Lol i thought it was pretty obvious that i was into it.

Andy: just checking lol i'm a bit rusty at all this.....

Y/N: its all good i promise :)

Y/N: What are you up to anyway?

Andy: looking over Patz's file trying to find something.... anything that might help. Im not getting anything but a headache.

Y/N: You should go get some sleep, have a look at it again tomorrow with fresh eyes. I could meet you at the office and go over it with you?

Andy: yeah? You wouldn't mind?

Y/N: Not at all

Andy: Okay, i think i'll take your advise and pack up for the night. I'll see you in the morning?

Y/N: Yeah, i'll bring the good coffee ;) Goodnight Andy xx

Andy: Your the best! Goodnight Y/N xx

Little did i know the shit storm that was about to hit tomorrow, this was definitely the calm before the storm!

Everything taglist: @jesseswartzwelder @dumblani @barnesandrogersworld @patzammit

Rose Coloured Glasses taglist: @readermia @princess-evans-addict @jennmurawski13 @matsumama @ex-bloodjunkie @kaithezaftig @rynabarnesrogers @rainbowkisses31

#sebastian stan #chris evans #bucky x reader #reader insert #steve rogers #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #steve x reader #eb!frank #eb!frank x reader #andy barber x reader #andy barber #endings beginnings #defending jacob #rose coloured glasses

78 notes · View notes

darkheroclone · 4 years ago

Note

You were one of the only good things about Tumblr. Your creativity and sense of humor always cheered me up when I'm down. I may never get to see it again, but I hope you'lk continue to cheer up others. Good bye and God bless.

[asdjkasdkl anon please I’m not that great! But still thank you for your words. I never really thought of myself as all that creative or funny ngl so it’s pretty surprising to me to hear that. Well I kinda hear it all the time from friends but still pretty surprising for me.

But then ‘I may never get to see it again’? Now that’s a bit ridiculous. Yes I haven’t been around doing much lately but that’s only because I’ve been busied with other stuff. I still like to RP but I also got other interests here, y’know? Besides I rather not force myself when it comes to RP in general; I used to do that whenever I didn’t had the motivation and oh boy did that backfired in the long run. I won’t go into full details but I will say that me being so hard on myself and constantly forcing myself to do replies even if I didn’t feel up to it is partially contributed to the massive burnout that resulted in me taking a break from here.

And lemme tell you, it took awhile for me to actually enjoy my break without feeling so damn guilty about it. Why would I feel guilty? Because I felt like I let my friends down as well as those who enjoy my blog. It took friends and family reassuring me constantly for me to eventually stop worrying about it and just take my time. And if I don’t really feel like returning? Than that’s alright too and I shouldn’t feel guilty over that.

Anyway, another thing I would like to mention is that I need time to basically familiarize myself a bit with tumblr again-- and by that, I mean how the fuck do I do this and that now that the site has updated and messed some things up. I rather not dive in only to find that oops I can’t edit this like or do that because the old extension doesn’t work anymore. While mistakes and accidents can happen, I’m unfortunately one of those people who tend get stupidly upset at themselves for it at times, and I don’t want any of y’all to deal with me getting all “dammit I fucked up” at myself askjdaskldjlak

One last thing, I’m pretty rusty in general with RPing. It’s been a long time since I’ve actually done any so I’m honestly rather nervous because not only am I trying to ease myself into it and get, uh, for the lack of a better wording, familiar with my muse again but also pretty worried about how it looks to others. I’m just worried that it might not come across as great to y’all, ya understand?

Anyway, sorry for that. Didn’t mean for this to get so long here. Thank you again for your words and I hope you’ll continue to enjoy this silly dork hero.]

#Asks #Answered Asks #Anonymous #Mun Answer #Long Post #Sorry for going off there but I felt like I should explain myself here #I'm sorry again for being so slow here too #I swear I'm not ignoring any asks #I just been focused on other stuff okay #I promise I'll get to them eventually #it'll probably be awhile because y'know #as well as fickle motivation tends to be fickle #but I swear I'll get to y'all asks eventually

2 notes · View notes

justmickeyfornow · 6 years ago

Note

Ok so... I'm not rich but I'm not poor either. I have a comfortable life. Always had food on my plate, etc. I'm gay and it's a "secret" (my family doesn't know) And today, I woke up depressed. Almost 2 years ago someone broke my heart when they dumped me and it made me go into a depression spiral that just got me crazy and made me want to kill myself. Every now and then I think of them, check their social media etc and this morning I woke up feeling alone and lonely. And I just don't know :(

Not sure if I’m the best person to give advice out there, but I guess I could give it a try :)

Here’s what mostly works for me. The magic fix to all of this is just to fill your time. It worked for me and maybe it’ll work for you too. Don’t let yourself have the privilege of too much free time. Because that's your biggest enemy. The more free time you have, the more you’ll be thinking and overthinking shit. You’re either studying or you have a job right? Well the rest of those hours in the day try to fill them. Work on a project. Go to the gym. Hang out with some people. Read a book. Read Fanfiction!! Learn chess. Learn how to code (this is what I’m trying to do lately. So far, it’s fun! You should try it).

Actually the gym thing might be one of the most things that was able to keep my mind off of all the scary stuff. It’s the reason I started going to begin with. I had a lot on my mind, I was going a bit crazy and I hated sitting there and thinking about it at home. So I went for a jog and it took my mind off of it a bit. Next thing I knew, I was signing for a gym membership and going everyday ever since. It’s a huge stress reliever. Even if you’re not the type to go, do it anyway. I even pushed myself so far that I got one of those expensive memberships (That I really really couldn’t afford) just so that I would guilt myself into going everyday. And so far, I haven’t thought about that incident that shall not be talked about (scary harry potter style voice) in a long while (crap, I just thought about it now.....).

Do something that you’re good at and that you love. You’re good at drawing? Go fucking draw your heart out! Writing? Write stories until the end of time. Dancing? Singing? Playing a musical instrument? Whatever it is, do it. And there’s no such thing as “I’m not really good at anything”. So I better not hear you saying that. There’s always something that you’re really good at. Not perfect. Just good. Because if you’re just good at something, then eventually you’ll want to make it better and better until you get as close to perfect as possible. I had a friend once that lived her whole life with the notion that she wasn’t good at anything. She’s 23 and last year me and her found out - accidentally - that she can do math in her head in lightning speed. I randomly asked her what’s 12x32 and she did it in her head in less than two minutes, no pen no paper. And she was just as surprised as I was. She apparently thought everybody could do that (God knows I can’t!). So find something you’re good at and fill your time with it. I always complain about writing for Paranoia Incarnated, but the truth is it takes my mind off of the billion things that I’d rather not think about.

Social media. There's absolutely nothing wrong with cutting off from social media. Sit down and really think about it: When you browse through a certain social media account/page/thingy (I don’t even know what’s it called? I’m not really good at that stuff), what do you normally feel? Is it depression? Numbness? Endless scrolling of nothing? Jealousy? Then just delete it. It's so easy to delete an account its crazy that not more people do it. If you feel happy. You read things that make you smile. You rant about characters you like. Squeal at drawings someone drew. Smile at a cat picture. Then keep it.

As for being tempted to check up on that person that hurt you. Now, I personally believe in the opposite of Exposure therapy (concealment therapy?). If something bothers me or tends to stir up negative feelings in me, then I just make it disappear as best as I can. If it's a real person, I avoid them. If it's someone online then I block them. If it's someone I'm following, then I just unfollow them. If it's a situation, then I make sure I’m never put in a similar situation again. Yes, I know, not really a healthy thing to do. But, again, I’m a crazy person and healthy is not really something I’m very good at. So, if you really wanna go down my slippery slope, then just either unfollow or block the URL that takes you to her page. It’ll give you some peace of mind. Whenever you’re tempted to check up on her, then just get up and do something else. Open up Paranoia Incarnated and read the fluffy happy moments! There’s an idea! (Suggestions from PI? The pancakes for dinner conversation. Two penguins getting married at the zoo. Kara taking a nap for the first time in Lena’s office which is also the first time she tells Lena she’s beautiful. Leia’s chapter! The famous scotch cookies (I love this chapter!) and last but definitely not least because I was laughing my ass off while writing it: Lena trying to tap her head and rub her stomach and failing miserably!)

Now, let’s talk music. Choose one song that calms you down. Think of one song or one singer that every time you hear, you feel your mind drift from what you were doing just to properly listen to that song. Choose one singer whose voice can literally stop you from having a panic attack. Now, convince yourself that once you hear that song/singer that you'll be alright. I swear to God it works. If it didn't work for me I wouldn't recommend it. But it works for me.

Eden is that singer for me. I have a few songs for him that if I feel like I'm having an anxiety attack or any sort of scary nervous breakdown, I can put on my headphones and just play one of his songs and it’s like I could breathe again. If you’re interested in Eden, let me know and I’ll recommend which songs you should listen to first.

(Also, here’s a link to the Paranoia Incarnated Spotify playlist. There’re some songs on there that might help too.)

Speaking of music, your ask actually reminded me of this song that I adore. Put some headphones, close your eyes and listen to it. I have a feeling it might help ya out!

youtube

As for suicide. The only reason you're thinking about it is because you're keeping it as an option. I'm a practical person. I like to keep things practical. And simply not having suicide as an option can change your whole mindset.

Think of it like a bridge with water underneath it that you have to cross. This bridge is long and old and rusty and just slowly falling apart. But you have to get across no matter what. The water underneath is calm so it’s possible to swim there but it would still be hard. Both options are difficult but still both are possible. The third option is simple. Easy. You could just fly to the other side. Except you can’t. Because it’s impossible. It’s not an option. So you don’t think about it when you’re faced with the situation of crossing the bridge. Therefore you’re left with the other two options: cross the bridge on foot, even though you might fall down and get hurt. Or swim there, even though it would be extremely tiring and exhausting and time consuming and just plain difficult. But in the end you don’t have the option of flying.

Same goes with suicide. Don’t keep it as an option in your life, and you won’t think of it. Pretend that it’s impossible to suicide. Pretend that it just doesn’t exist. You do that, and I guarantee you won’t think about it as much.

There's no such thing as a permanent problem. Keep that in mind. Whatever you're feelings are towards this girl now, chances are they're gonna change in a couple of years.

I know you don't wanna hear this, but the truth is you're probably gonna go through so much worse to a point that this problem would seem like a walk in the park. And if you've really grown, you wouldn't think of suicide then either. Because you'd realize that you got over that first problem that once upon a time seemed like the worst thing you could go through. You actually got over it. You survived it. And you'll smile and think that you'll get over this too.

There’s also nothing wrong with feeling lonely. I wish I had a fix for you, but I still haven’t figured that one out yet. I tend to just ignore it (I’m starting to realize I live life by simply ignoring many many things. Maybe not the healthiest thing in the world....) As soon as I feel myself drowning in that feeling I simply get up. Do something. Anything. Go do the dishes. Hell, I sometimes get down and do 20 pushups to get my mind off of it (That usually works, seeing that once I reach 12 pushups I’m practically dead). Actually the pushups thing also acts as a sort of response treatment. Your mind will slowly realize that everytime it feels negative feelings you start torturing it with pushups and it stops pushing negative feelings towards you. Does that make any sense? I feel like that might not be the healthiest option. Maybe consult an expert? I dunno. I sometimes do it and it helps me, but I’m just a crazy person so I what do I know.

Other random things that I’ve done that were extremely helpful in changing my mindset:

1. Drink fruit water! Yup! I know it sounds ridiculous, but it kinda works. Grab one of those big water bottles that you take with you to the gym. Cut up a lemon (I prefer half a lemon), an orange, a cucumber, and some mint. Stuff them in there and fill it with water. It actually tastes pretty good. And it washes away the toxins in your body.

2. Dark chocolate! Not only is it healthy, but it releases dopamine (the little beautiful trigger in your brain that makes you happy) and increases your serotonin levels (the little beautiful trigger in your brain that makes you calm).

3. DRINK TEA!! I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO EXPLAIN HOW MUCH HAPPIER IT MAKES YOU. IT’S PERFECT. IT’S GORGEOUS. IT’S TASTY. IT’S JUST..... *SIGH*

4. Buy a bulletin board. Put it up in your room and go crazy with it. Pin up your goals. Projects. Your resolutions. Whatever it is. Make sure it’s on that board so you could see it every single day.

5. Smile a lot.

I dunno if any of this is helpful. But most of this stuff worked for me so I’m hoping it’ll work for you. Just read a lot of fanfiction, spice up your life with some smutty ones too and you’ll soon forget about that girl.

3 notes · View notes

babypeanu-t · 7 years ago

Text

//um wrote this long ass note earlier today and idk if tumblr posted this alreads but i cant see it on my app so im reposting. also although this ones all over the place and not proofread (!!) i hafta have this record up too hehe//

Putting off writing down a few notes on astrology (my natal wheel and readings, in particular) to write about the last weekend.

(Side note, writing this using a wireless keyboard connected to my phone. I'm psyched!)

Anyway, the long weekend felt insanely looong for me. I currently spend my days at home only, so I have to do quite a lot to stay active (and mainly, to keep myself from being bored lmao). The last four days seemed wild af for the homebody in me; my social battery was drained as hell that I spent most of yesterday sleeping in just to compensate for everything I did.

Ayt, so Friday was supposedly chill. Only I kept thinking about what I could have done earlier in the day. I was up really early as I had a supposed appointment - na hindi naman natuloy cos ~reasons. I had so much time to kill before heading off to my original destination, Batangas. I hate being late to stuff, so I was kinda pissed when I didn't get to the city around 7 pm, as I originally estimated. Hirap 'pag traffic sa lahat ng lugar that I have to consider leaving really earlieeer from now on. Ugh, Pilipinas. Anyway, real adventure began the next day. We went to Enchanted Kingdom in Sta. Rosa. Now, that travel was insanely sakit sa pwet + init but really fun because of the people I was with. It's hard to keep fitting in, you know, but this chameleon is thankful that the people around me make it easier. I was actually really nervous to go to the amusement park as it has been yeeears since I last went to one (if I remember correctly, I'd only been to two amusement parks in the country since I flew back here six years ago. Went to EK - for the first time - in 2013 and to Star City in 2014; just a good six months apart, so that's just it for that kind of adventure. Had to get used to park rides when we had some in a mall in Saudi, but since I resided here, there's really nothing close to visit), so basically, I felt like I'd have a headache (what with the heat and I'm sure almost all rides were gonna make me dizzy af) and puke whatever I ate (resulting to eating so so little that day ugh I'm still sad).

Anyway, I still had so much fun with all the rides! The kid in me was excited for Anchors Away, Jungle Log Jam, EKstreme, Wheel of Fate, and Rio Grande. We went on almost every ride and by the time we went to Disco Magic (sp?), I was insanely dizzy I felt like I had to get off the ride halfway through - it was enjoyable, yes, but I wasn't really prepared for all the spinning, hayop 'yun. Luckily, they decided to chill, going to the new Agila theater - now, that was amazing. The clips shown in the theater could be used for greater opportunities for the country, really (lol sa'n na ba cred ng government sectors kakahiya mas matino pa marketing/pr sa iba sayang pondo hay). After that, we stayed at the food court - kamahal ng food mamami! Sinong kuripot lmao but anyway, that experience was another good thing for me again. Huy, sobrang kilig watching Kingsmen and Victoria's Way, pwede ba. Okay, sobrang kinilig talaga 'ko du'n legit HUHU I proved that my go-to kilig song still is This I Promise You and that I can get over songs I attached to certain people in the last few years lmaooo. Those performers should have more exposure, really. Daya ng mundo. Anywaaay, after which, we went to ride on AirRace, Space Shuttle, and EKstreme where I got another massive blast of headache good god I cried, but luckily, they decided Wheel of Fate would be our last ride. All in all, the experience is really fun, even when it was a health hazard at some points lol. It was insanely tiring plakda pag-uwi, but that level of tired felt really worth it after all the laughs and smiles the whole day.

((Side note, nakakatamad na mag-English. I'm too rusty huhu))

The next day, there were unexpected guests. I conditioned myself before I slept that I had to go home already, but I really felt like sleeping in, so I was down til around 9? I had to wake up because some of our friends were heading to Lipa in around an hour and I could actually hitch a ride back to civilization (who was I to say no, really lol). I haven't seen these girls in more than a month, so it was a pleasant surprise that we were all there that day. We went to Nuvali after a quick lunch in Bojoks (good food!) where we went "biking" for the most part (biking in quotes as I didn't know how to bike they all had to teach and support me lmaooo I still didn't learn what a fail). Was a truly fun time with all of them. Minsan na lang talaga and feels so good to have done all that. Ride back home seemed so fast, but it was around 6pm when I got to SM too. Was just lucky that travel was insanely fast - thank you, long weekend.

When I got home though, there was a celebration for my sister so there were quite a lot of people at home. Soliiid ng pa-chicken and pa-pizza tyl pero more solid inom that I got hammered I was hungover til the next day and we had to still meet some people AT 11 IN THE MORNING IN QC. I'm hammered please don't talk to me ganon but nah can't escape them so. But all in all, craaaazy long weekend, but more more fun really! (I know I didn't really tell the story all well cos I don't have a lot of energy to write a better piece and proofread I'm so so sorry if you had to endure reading this lmao) I've had a few good days in the last year and this weekend is up there as well. I'm taking time again to recharge my physical and social battery as I deem they're both dead by now, but I'm taking all the good in the last few days with me to get me through too. I hope y'all had a great weekend as well and don't forget to take breaks as taking care of yourself is as insanely important as making time for the people in your life. :)

0 notes

kpop-bg-roleplay · 3 years ago

Note

you answered so fast! I look forward to this story haha and thanks for letting me write all my ideas haha I'm happy you like the plot I thought of!

---

Lina was standing in front of a mysterious house in the middle of the wood with a rusty golden key in hand. Their backpack was full of materials they didn't know existed or were of any use other than in fairy tales.

The portal behind them vanishing the wind messing with their curly light brown hair. They couldn't go back to France now, they had to begin this adventure.

When they found out about their powers two three days, they wouldn't have thought that everything would go so rapid.

You must wonder how they found out about their powers? Let's just say the cat learnt how to fly in the middle of the night after they caressed him.

Lina was confused, shocked, worried, and amused, nevertheless, they didn't know how to discuss it with their parents. They believed they would tell them they were utterly out of their mind, however, the reaction they got from both of them astonished them. Instead of a frustrated and annoyed expression, their parents held a worried and caring one.

That is when they found out about their ancestors and the few people who were witches in our modern world. You could say they needed some time to process everything.

"You will have to leave for awhile." Their father stated attempting to keep his voice stable. Their eyes widening at the sudden information.

"We know someone who will be able to protect you and help you learn how to control your powers." Their mother continued pressing her lips together nodding.

They didn't question anything out loud. Who did they had the necessity to be protected from? Where did they were sent to? They were only seventeen after all.

They looked around their surroundings. Trees going from miles away and no trace of humanity around them. They queried if they landed at the right place.

Lina glanced once again at the massive wooden door in front of them tightening their grip on their luggage nervously sighing.

They squinted their hazel eyes and saw a note on the door. "Open the door to your destiny." was written on the parchment. They guessed they had to enter. Therefore, they used the key their parents gave them.

They ground began to softly shake before it opened underneath them. Letting a startled and shrieking scream, they began to fall. They tried hard to grap on some ropes around them but they only fell deeper. Suddenly they hit the ground or more like the mattress.

Lina had landed on a bed. Their belongings neatly placed around the bedroom, even their plushy. They glanced down at their attire. The witch wasn't wearing the same clothes. They were in a school uniform with a skirt and a dark blue blazer.

"What the hell..." They murmured raising their eyebrows before getting up and composition themselves. Their glasses that they forgot back at home were on the table beside their bed.

"Where am I...?" They thought putting their glasses on allowing them to see clearer.

All of sudden the door of the room opened revealing a joyful old lady wearing at apron. Lina didn't notice anything except that she was in the presence of a stranger, although she didn't appear to be a threat Lina was still wary of her.

"Sunshine, you finally arrived! Last time I saw you, you couldn't even walk yet!" The woman stated waving her wand around which the teenager hadn't remarked at first.

They were frozen in place as the lady walked towards them her arms stretched giving the witch a warm embrace which Lina returned automatically. They felt strange, they felt as if they were meant to be here, they felt at home.

"Now, young apprentice, you need to go to school. Even if you are a witch you still need a proper education and I see my spell worked. Sorry for not answering the door but the spell only work through portals. At least you are already in your uniform." The shorter woman rambled straightening her apprentice clothes.

Eventually, she placed a hand on the teenager's back pushing them forward. Waving her wand, Lina's backpack flew into their arms as the necessities for a school day were flying around and landing into the backpack.

"Wait!" Lina stopped taking a long breath. "Are you Minkyung by any chance? Everything is just going way to fast right now, to say I found out three days ago I was Harry Potter... without the dead parents though which is cool! It's... stressing me out a bit. It is kinda funny don't get be wrong but... I need explanations." They finished, rambling nervously as Minkyung stared at them in a motherly manner as she rubbed the teenager's arm softly.

"I don't have the time to explain anything at the moment. Just understand you are safe here, I'll be your teacher. Right now you need to go to school, you need to head to school or you'll be late. The address is on your phone but you'll be there through this door." The black short haired lady informed.

Grabbing her wand she tapped three times on the majestic wooden door with silver engravings. A bright light emanated from it which vanished as fast as it came.

"All you need to know right now is that you are a new student at Seoul Art and Technology High School. You take dancing as a subject too. Obviously one of the reason why you are doing to this school. Everything about your life is not a secret except you being our little Harry Potter as you said. Everything is already fixed with the principle and you only need to head to class 153." She smiled and opened the door where a blue clouded portal was hiding.

"Have a wonderful day, sunshine! Try to make some friends!" Minkyung exclaimed as she pushed Lina through the portal as they fell once again. However, they didn't have the time to scream as when they opened their hazel greenish eyes again, they were standing in front of Seoul Art and Technology High School's door entrance.

However, they felt something in their hand. Why were they holding a bottle of water? She believed Minkyung might have placed it into their hand therefore guessed it was safe for them to drink the content. She needed something to freshen their mind.

As they took a long gulp of water, they began to notice what the students were saying. However, they were speaking in Korean... Lina had never learnt the language prior. It was a potion! They could speak and understand Korean fluently.

"How did I not think about the language barrier... thankfully Minkyung was there or I would have been clueless the whole day." They chuckled putting the bottle of water back into their backpack.

They sighed once again and entered the school gulping nervously.

Their feet was walking for them as their mind was somewhere else. Lina still couldn't process what was happening. Their life was completely normal and bland tree days ago but they had to pet their cat and now they are a witch.

"Do I need a magic wand or can I just do tricks with my hands? It was really how the cat flew away hahaha. I should be more serious anyway, how could I laugh instead of thinking "oh the cat is flying, Lina it's not normal!"..." Their trails of thought continued until they were the last student to arrive to classroom 153. "Oh my god, here I am..."

"Hello, Lina! I am your teacher for the year, it is really nice to have you in our class." The teacher said, giving the teenager her best smile.

"It is really nice to meet you too, miss." They simply said not confident with their new born Korean.

Both of them entered the class. Lina's heartbeat quickened all of sudden. Everyone was looking at them as they tried to keep a friendly aura.

"Hi, everyone! We have a new student for the year. Please would you introduce yourself?" Asked the teacher as she sat behind her desk staring the teenager.

"Hi... My name is Lina, I'm from France, so yeah, I can speak French. And... I major in dancing here... It's nice to meet all of you!" They greeted rather loudly at the end as they were nervous.

The teacher extended her hand to a seat at the back of the class which was behind a silver haired boy who was very attentive when Lina was presenting themselves.

Lina walked to the seat and plopped themselves on it, dropping their bag on the floor quietly. They placed their school materials on the table but noticed they forget to take their pencil cases.

"Magic is forgetful I see..." They thought as they sighed and hesitated for fifteen minutes. Fortunately, the teacher was solely presenting the subjects they would be studying with her this semester.

Eventually, Lina let out a breath and softly tapped on the silver haired boy's shoulder. He turned around as his friend did too. They didn't expect that much attention on them just for a pencil.

"Hi, excuse me... well I don't know your name. Anyway, do you have a pencil to give me please. I was running late his morning and forget my pencil case... please?" They wondered not able to read the student's facial expression until it suddenly broke into a joyful and friendly grin.

- 🧚🏻‍♀️

A French exchange student? It wasn’t often that they’d see an exchange student, especially from the West - France, no less - so both vampires were attentive, listening to everything that was being said. As the pair shared a look, there was one defining thought that they clearly shared with much of the class; they’re this fluent?

Sunoo had brought out his own pencil case, organising his desk before opening his notebook; getting down the subjects they would be studying that year would definitely help with buying the appropriate textbooks. He learnt that lesson the first time he had to retake education. The pureblood aging process was like that of a snail, and while the concept of looking young for centuries was appealing, Sunoo - and much of the others - didn’t appreciate the need to remain in high school while they still looked like teenagers.

“Hmm?” As both Jungwon and Sunoo turned in canon of each other, Jungwon nodded in realisation as it finally registered what they were asking. Likewise, Sunoo’s blank expression broke into a smile as he nodded and reached for a spare pencil. Handing the stationary over, he smiled.

“Here you go! Oh; I’m Sunoo, and that’s Jungwon~. Lina, right?”

#chishiyas-backstory #enhypen #ot7 #x y/n #vampire au #witch au

1 note · View note