#kinda meloncholy kinda happy

[babybrunette777]

okay so i messaged my ex and it made me somewhat happy and ive resolved things with my current favourite boy

[wiener-soldiers]

so, you’re real - tommy shelby

summary: while high off his ass, tommy shelby is approached by a mysterious woman offering him something more valuable than drugs: information. your services become essential to how tommy conducts business, but your anonymity means he can’t help but fall in love with you from a distance.

words: 5.4k

pairing: tommy shelby x fem!reader (race non-specific)

warnings: tommy shelby. that’s the warning.

a/n: first tommy fic :D he’s one of the most beautifully complex characters ever in television imo but that also means his kinda nightmare to right. so,,, he might come off a little ooc because he’s very soft!tommy in this. i also wanna write a tommy fic based off ‘why’d you only call me when your high’ by arctic monkeys for obvious reasons.

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Tommy Shelby could count the number of people who’s seen him high as a kite on opium with three fingers. Arthur was the first; he drukenly stumbled into Tommy’s room instead of his own one night and the smell of the pipe sobered him enough to start asking questions. Tommy shoved him out and by the morning, Arthur was too hungover to remember a thing. The next was Polly; Tommy stumbled down the stairs as he was high around three in the morning once as he searched the house for more booze. Polly watched from a distance as he sat himself on the kitchen table and wept, squeezing his eyes shut and covering his ears with his hands. She chose not to mention it the following morning, but a perscription for morphine found its way to Tommy’s desk a few days later.

The third person... was you.

You didn’t know the Shelby’s personally. You were the assistant of a local Small Heath accountant that dealt with Birmingham’s most infamous clients: local coppers, factory owners, politicians, even gangsters. Your boss was known as the Devil’s Safe—nothing that came in went ot without the client’s consent.

But you weren’t a saint. Being so close to his office at all times and knowing far too much about where the most influential people in Birmingham got their money and where they spent it, it was nearly impossible to keep your mouth shut.

So, you didn’t. At a price, of course.

You quit your job and created a small network of spies that could feed you information about anyone or anything at anytime, using your knowledge about the Devil’s Safe as leverge. You charged whoever could afford for your services, coppers and criminals alike. Some self-righteous copper tried to shut you down once. Keyword: tried. There were too many spies all over the city to try to arrest (that is, if he could find grounds to arrest them), and you were too important to too many important people that arresting you would likely have him assasinated.

That, and you tipped him off about a corrupt police captain who had been trading orphans for cash. It got him a promotion and you a protective shield over your dealings from the coppers.

Tommy first met you at the races. You were hanging off the arm of Roberts, Billy Kimber’s advisor, and he briefly caught your eye before returning his gaze to Grace who stared at him lovingly. He didn’t know it then, but you were analyzing him. His posture, his facial expressions, how he spoke to Kimber, and most importantly, his books that Roberts happened to have a copy of. Nothing went unnoticed by you. The Shelby’s were starting to cause ruckus all over the city and you were interested. But, to maintain your facade, you snuck a few kisses to Roberts’ neck to distract him from your snooping.

When Tommy returned to the table with the bag of cash his brothers had collected from the Lees, you were gone.

---

The second time he sees you, he isn’t even sure if it’s you.

It’s late at night as he approaches The Garrison when he notices Polly standing with another figure in the alley. He slows his steps and silences his breathing, trying to catch the end of your conversation.

“You’re sure this is where she is?” That’s unmistakingly Polly’s voice.

A soft chuckle rips through the air and Tommy suddenly wonders what your voice sound like. “There’s only so many women carrying a newborn and looking that terrified of what may be behind her,” the other voice says. It’s not soft or angelic, Tommy notices. Nothing likes Grace’s. It’s deeper, smoother, and he can almost hear the smirk in her voice.

“How do I know you’re not lying to me?” Polly asks back skeptically. Tommy has the common sense to realize she’s talking about Ada who had gone into hiding after Freddie was arrested. Polly hadn’t been able to stay in the same room as him for very long since.

You pull out another envelope from your coat and teasingly dangle it in front of her. “Here’s the list of all of Ada and Freddie’s known addresses. The Communists have them move every few weeks; the address I gave you is Ada’s current address. Go there tomorrow from seven to nine in the morning. Ada’ll still be in bed and Karl will still be asleep. Then, you’ll know I’m right, you’ll give me the full payment, and I’ll give you the rest of the addresses.”

Tommy is slightly stunned at what he’s hearing. They had been trying to look for Ada for nearly two weeks to no avail, but this woman was able to find her that easily?

The woman turns to walk away before Polly can respond and in the street light, Tommy can make out the outline of your face. It was so brief that he couldn’t tell if you were actually there or if he imagined your face in the darkness.

Polly doesn’t notice him as she makes her way back inside the pub. The following afternoon, Polly is pounding on his office door saying she’s found where Ada had been hiding.

---

The third time he sees you, he’s sitting in the empty Garrison with a bullet wound in his shoulder, whiskey coursing through his veins, enough meloncholy and anger to swim in, and a broken heart.

Billy Kimber was dead. Campbell was gone. But, so was Grace.

It was a series of emotions he hadn’t felt in a long time: relief, then anger, then happiness, then frustration. Then the shovels started. Then, it all got too loud and he slipped his opium pipe into his coat pocket before going to The Garrison to drink his sorrows away. He had never taken the pipe out of his room before. In that state, he didn’t care.

He doesn’t really know how you got in; he had angrily yelled at everyone to leave the bar when the night was late enough for him to feel emotion and locked the door behind him. Maybe I didn’t lock the door right, he thinks. In reality, you had picked the lock.

“I could’ve told you she’d been working with him,” your voice calls behind him. He’s still hunched over his drink, the pipe lying next to a nearly empty bottle of whiskey. He didn’t need her to clarify who she was talking about.

“You could’ve, eh?” Tommy mumbles dangerously. He felt light, but his eyes and his heart felt heavy. He hated the feeling. Oh god, he hated it.

“Hmm,” you hum back, taking a seat next to him. You reach behind the bar and pull out a bottle of gin and poor yourself a drink. Tommy watches you do so. You don’t look like you pity him, in fact, you don’t even look at him. Instead, you focus your attention on the drink.

After taking a sip, you reach into your coat jacket and pull out an envelope, slidding it over to Tommy. You had clearly seen the opium pipe that still had smoke coming out of it, but you gently pushed it out of the way so the envelope rested in front of Tommy’s drink.

“What is this?” he asks, still too high to think straight.

“Consider it a resume,” you quip back, taking another sip of your drink as you study the collection of liquor and spirits on the back shelf of the bar.

“For what?”

“My services.”

“You a fuckin’ whore? You think that’s what I need right now, eh?”

“What I think you need right now, Mr. Shelby, is a sense of security. To be ahead of the enemy. I can give that to you,” you reply smoothly, barely flinching. Tommy notices your voice doesn’t falter even at his jab. He begins to sober up, finaling looking at you.

You had an air of mystery and intrigue. Your eyes looked all-knowing and the corner of your lip was quirked. A white blouse was tucked into a deep red skirt with your black wool jacket overtop of it all. If he was a different man, he surely would have taken you home.

“Why are you telling me this?” he finally asks.

You look back at him, the smirk on your lips growing. “Because I quite like your family. Polly is quite intelligent and Ada is a delight. I also know far too much about you, so it’d be a shame if someone paid be good money to tell them everything there is to know about you. But if you came to me first, there wouldn’t be much of an issue. The rate for ratting out one of my clients is ridiculously high.”

So, it had been you with Polly that night, he thinks. “You’d work for me?” he asks again, tone getting more serious. The last time a woman worked for him, it didn’t end particularly well.

You laugh and Tommy is momentarily stunned. It’s a beautiful laugh that appeared in an awful moment. “I don’t work for anyone, Mr. Shelby.”

And then you left. Tommy stares a the door for a few minutes after you’ve left, wondering if he had imagined your visit the whole time. When he turns back to his drink, the envelope you left behind is a sign that you had been real. He hesitantly opens it and his jaw unhinges at the contents inside: there were several documents, reports, and even pictures tying Grace Burgess and Inspector Campbell together. It seemed so plain and simple once it was laid out in front of him.

Under the flap of the envelope was an address as well as a rate of service. It was high, Tommy couldn’t deny it, but he also couldn’t deny how the pressure on his chest eased for a moment when he was with you. Even more so when you had left the address.

The next morning, a wad of cash from Shelby Company Limited shows up at one of your drop locations. It’s more than you asked for and quicker than you expected it to come. You smirk softly and get to work.

---

Tommy doesn’t see you again until he pays a visit to Sabini’s club a few years later as he works on his London expansion. He had been a client of yours for nearly two years now and he was continuosly impressed with your work. You literally had eyes everywhere; there wasn’t a place between Manchester and Brighton that you couldn’t get to. You had been the one feeding him inside information about Sabini’s operations in London, as well as how to get Alfie Solomon’s attention.

Despite all this work, he hasn’t seen you since you approached him when he was high in the empty pub. He gets all his information through courriers, telephone calls from messengers, and packages from drop locations all over the city. He asked a courrier once why he hasn’t seen you since.

“No one really sees her, sir. We just get orders in one way or another, we excecute them, and then money shows up. She doesn’t want anyone to tie her to her clients or the boots on the ground.”

“She’s clever.”

“She’s bloody brilliant, is what she is. She’s set up this system so bloody tight that no one really knows how it works except her. One lad up in Coventry tried to turn her in. Went missing a few days later.”

He doesn’t think about you often, but when he does, he’s reminded of that night in The Garrison; how mysterious and beautiful and dangerous you looked, how his chest seemed less tight with you around. Maybe he’s imagined it. Maybe it was the opium clouding his vision. So, he pushes those thoughts away because as far as he’s concerned, you’re an enigma.  Hell, he doesn’t even know your name and he’s been paying you big money and giving away too much of his plans.

But he sees you that night when he and his brothers storm Sabini’s club. You’re sitting on a fancy velvet lounging chair, tucked under the arm of what Tommy assumes is a wealthy banker or socialite. You don’t see him (not yet, at least) but Tommy sees you. All Tommy sees is you. The smoke that flows out of your nostrils as your lips curl at whatever attempt at humour then man with you made draws Tommy in. So does the cut of your deep blue, satin dress. He knows it then, that you’re real. That you’re not a figment of his imagination.

“This place is something else, innit?” Arthur remarks as they make their way deeper and deeper into the club. Tommy is still drawn to you as his brothers gawk at the permiscuous behaviour around them.

The party atmosphere doesn’t last long however, as the boys make a show out of trashing the place. Tommy makes sure to put on a performance, to play up the fear. When he shouts something along the lines of being on a holiday, he happens to catch your eye and the first thing he notices is the smirk playing on your lips. He’s first confused as to why but he understands: you had a large part of the London expansion and you also likely knew that Tommy was going to be there that night. You weren’t there with a man. You were there to see him. You were there to see his reckoning.

The image of you tattooed itself onto Tommy’s brain and the feeling he felt in his chest was something he craved to feel again.

---

The next morning, the brothers stumble into Ada’s home, uninvited. Their younger sister begrudgingly lets them in, still clad in her nightgown, and hastily tells them to keep their noise level down as Karl was still sleeping.

It doesn’t last very long.

“You shoulda seen their bloody faces, Ades!” John hollers, mouth full of biscuits and tea. Ada hisses at him for spewing food across the table.

“Didn’t know what was coming, the lot of them,” Arthur adds, already taking a sip from a flask. He was barely sober from the night before and it wasn’t even eight in the morning. “Fuckin’ Sabini, Ada. He won’t know what’s bloody comin’.”

“Sabini, eh?” Ada plays along, still slightly annoyed but now intriguied. “You didn’t happen to hit up his club last night, did you?”

“’Course we did!” John snickers. “What’d you think we’d do, start small?”

Ada’s facial expression suddenly changes into one of slightly more concern. Arthur and John don’t notice, but Tommy does. “I was hopin’ you would,” Ada plays it off but Tommy notices.

“Ada?” he asks, voice stern but eyes curious. His sister was intelligent, so much so that her mouth was as good at getting her out of trouble as it was getting her in it. Tommy was sure that there was more than what she let on.

“Tom?” Ada says back, not meeting his gaze and instead taking a bite out her toast and jam.

“Why’re you so hung up on Sabini’s club?” Tommy asks  directly, slowly getting tired of his sister’s semantics. He mommentarily understands how Polly feels when he keeps things from her.

Ada sighs, having also attracted attention from her two other brothers. She sets down her toast and looks directly at Tommy. “You saw her, didn’t you?”

“Saw who?” Arthur asks, booming voice too loud for the sudden change of tone in the room. Ada grimaces but still stares at Tommy.

Tommy knows exactly who she’s talking about. But he wonders how Ada does.

“I did,” he says simply.

“Who’re you talkin’ about?” John asks next, looking between his siblings. Arthur shrugs at him.

“Did you say anything to her?”

“No.”

“Good,” Ada says too quickly. Tommy narrows his eyes at her.

“For God’s sake!” Arthur says again, slamming his tea cup back down onto the table. “Who in the bloody hell are you talkin’ about?”

Ada rolls her eyes and continues eating and Tommy is left to stare at his brothers. He wants to answer. He wants to answer so badly. But he doens’t even know her name.

“I—” Tommy trails off. He’s rarely rendered speechless, but he is when it comes to you. Who were you? Why did Ada know you? Why can’t he get you out of his head? Why does he hope you’re standing there in the shadows every time he steps out on the street?

“You? You what, Tom?” John asks this time, equally as exasperated.

“He doesn’t know and it should stay that way,” Ada says simply. “She offers you a service, you pay her, end of transaction. Stay away from her Tommy, I mean it.”

“What service?” John asks again, still getting more questions than answers.

Tommy sighs, rubbing a hand over his face. “After Grace, she offered me a service. Cash in exchange for information. Said she knew that I needed a sense of security.” She was right, Tommy thinks but doesn’t dare say.

“Information about what, exactly?” Arthur asks, voice dropping an octave as he leans forward.

“Everything. Anything and everything. She knows everything. I don’t have the slightest clue how,” Tommy answers honestly, his own disbelief being obvious for the first time.

“She can betray us...” John warns, skeptical especially after Grace.

“She won’t,” Ada says simply.

“How do you know?” John challenges.

“She won’t,” Ada reaffirms with a glint in her eye. John immediatley backs down. Ada doens’t trust easily, especially after Freddie.

Tommy believes her. You know too much, far too much. More than he or you had bargained for. You also gave too much. Tommy asked for one thing, you gave him what he wanted and more. Tommy wanted a brief description of the shipping business in Bristol, you gave him an itemized list. Tommy asked you to keep an eye out for any potential threats, you gave him incredibly precise weekly reports. He asked people what your service was like as if he didn’t already know himself: you were never this thorough. He knew you wouldn’t betray him because you would have done it already. The question is, why did Ada trust her?

“You know who she is, don’t you?” Tommy asks his sister once again, doing his best to intimidate her. It’s no use.

“I do,” Ada says simply.

“Even her name?”

John scoffs. “You don’t even know her bloody name and you’ve got that look like you’re in love? Jesus, Tom! You need a good fuckin’, I’m telling you.”

Ada ignores her brother’s comment. “Even her name.”

Tommy gestures for her to elaborate and Ada hesitantly continues, “Polly paid her to find me after Karl was born. She found me personally, not through a messenger. We got along quite well, she was very honest about what she’d been hired to do. She gave Polly that information she was looking for, but we kept in touch. Personally, I mean. I like her.”

“Tell me her name, Ada.”

Ada makes a face of fake appeasement. “Can’t do that, sorry Tom.”

Tommy’s jaw clenches. “Ada...” he warns.

Ada’s glare mathces his own. “Her identity is all she’s got Tommy. The minute a client knows who she is, it all falls apart. For the love of God, for your safety and hers, don’t find her.”

And hell, does Tommy want not to listen. He wants to find you again. To see you. To speak to you. To learn your name. To feel the weight in his chest lighten once more.

But you remained impossible to find. Even with his London expansion, he wasn’t any closer to finding out who you really were than the day you first spoke to him at The Garrison.

So, he tried to push his thoughts away. He didn’t get so lucky.

---

He was used to receiving messages from you on Sunday evenings before the week began and Thursday mornings before the week ended. Sometimes, they’d be in the form of a phone call from a messnger reading a message written by you. Other times, he would visit a drop site where he picked up parcels of information and evidence you had collected. Fridays were paydays, so he’d get a Blinder to drop a parcel of cash (though they never knew it was cash) at a drop site and wait for a courrier with a blue ribbon pinned under the lapel of their overcoat to retrieve it.

All your foot solidiers and clients wore the ribbons. You avoided paper trails so everything was with symbols. Ribbon colours were a discrete way for both the client and the courrier to tell who was who. Clients wore white ribbons, courriers wore blue ones, messengers wore green ones, and red ones were used for emergencies.

That’s why Tommy panicked when a man burst into his office late at night the day before he was set to take down Sabini, urgently lifting his lapel to show his red ribbon.

“What’s happened? Are we in danger?” Tommy asks immediatley, standing up from his chair.

“No, sir,” the foot soldier said. They were never allowed to say the names of clients, only sir and ma’am. “I have a message from her. It was urgent and couldn’t have waited until Thursday.”

The man gives him a sealed envelope before bowing and leaving as quickly as he came. Tommy checks to make sure that he is alone before ripping it open. It wasn’t a message, but a phone number and the word clairvoyant scribbled quickly with fancy ink.

Tommy furrows his eyebrows but picks up his phone and dials the operator. The other end picks up immediately. He hastily says the number he wants to be patched through to as well as the word scribbled below it. The operator says nothing else and he hears the phone ring again before a female voice finally picks up.

“Mr. Shelby, I was waiting for your call.”

It was you. Tommy’s heartbeat quickens. You continue to speak, oblivious to his shock, “I don’t make calls myself unless absolutely neccassary. You don’t need to worry about privacy; I have connections with the operating center that patched you through. They won’t say a word to anyone, telling them that you called and they won’t be listening.”

Truthfully, Tommy hadn’t even been thinking of that. He was still slightly shocked that he was hearing your voice, the same voice as nealry three years ago. The opium fucked with a lot of things, but not his sense perception. Your voice was as beautiful as he remembered it to be.

He forces the thoughts out of his head and finally speaks. “What’s happened? Is there an emergency?”

“You aren’t safe at the races tomorrow. There will be an attempt on your life.”

Tommy is not entirely surprised. “I’m sure you can put two and two together; what I plan to do at the races is practically a suicide mission, dear. Of course there’ll be an attempt on my life.”

You scoff at the other end of the line. “Mr. Shelby, I’ll rephrase: you may succeed in your plan tomorrow, but something will catch you off-guard. Something big.”

“What is it, then? If you’re so sure,” Tommy challenges, but is taken aback by the silence.

You sigh, defeated at the other end of the line. “Mr. Shelby, I’ll be honest. An Inspector Campbell approached me this morning, asking for my services to give him everything I knew about you plans tomorrow. I took his money.”

Tommy’s jaw clenches. “You called me to tell me you’re a fuckin’ conspirator against me now, eh?”

“I resent that. There’s a reason I ask you not to tell me anything about your business aside from what I need to know to do my job,” you snap back. “Campbell gave me money to tell him information I didn’t have. So, I took the money and told him lies. He didn’t pay enough money to turn me against one of clients anyway and I don’t negotiate.”

Tommy laughs in slight disbelief, “You clever bloody woman.”

You can’t help but grin at the other end of the line. “He let it slip that he had something planned, though. That you weren’t getting out of this alive. Thomas, I don’t know what and I don’t have enough time to find out, but you needed to know,” you say before soflty adding, “I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I didn’t tell you.”

Tommy nods solemnly before saying, “That’s the first time you’ve called me Thomas.”

You laugh and Tommy’s heart clenches at the sound. “Is that what you choose to focus on?” you ask, amused despite your worry.

“I’m not afraid of death. Not anymore,” Tommy answers.

“It’s a shame. There seems to be a lot in your life that’s worth living for,” you reply, your voice softer that Tommy’s ever heard it.

“Will you do me one final favour? Take it as my dying wish.”

“Thomas—” you start before he cuts you off.

“Can you tell me your name?” he finally asks, but he’s met with silence. He clears his throat and adds, “Please?”

You sigh at the other end. This is not how you were supposed to conduct business. Anonymity was the only thing keeping you from being excecuted at the hands of the Crown or a crime-boss. But here the feared Thomas Shelby was, asking as his dying wish to know your name. You don’t know him aside from your brief interactions and stories from Ada. But strangely, you trust him with the key keeping your identity safe.

“Y/N. My name’s Y/N.”

---

The following evening, Tommy trudges home covered in mud and blood. His encounter with the face of death was anticipated, but still left him scarred. Despite his success against the races and against Sabini, he felt trapped. With a success in the business, he still finds himself indebted to Winston Churchill. He’s exhaused of this cycle and in the moment, he embraced his fate just a little.

As he pushed the door to his home open, his eyes are immediately drawn to crackling fire. He hadn’t expected anyone to be home, as the family was staying in London with Ada to celebrate their successes.

So the sight of you, sitting on his couch and staring into the fire shocked the life back through him.

He takes of his hat and stares at you in slight disbelief. “So, you’re real.”

You turn to face him and the tension previously present in your features fell and the corner of your lip quirked upwards. “You’re alive,” you state the obvious.

“The Devil’s tried too many time to kill me, I’m starting to wonder if God does exist,” he says plainly, taking off his coat and taking a seat on the other end of the couch from you.

A small laugh escapes you. “He has jokes, does he?”

Tommy smiles softly but shakes his head and stares at you. “You’re really real. I was starting to think I was imagin’ ya.”

“Ada says you’ve been asking about me.”

“I have. She wouldn’t tell me your name, though.”

“You got it anyway.”

“Who’s to deny a man his dying wish?” Tommy darkly jokes again.

“I can’t go back to operating how things were. Even you knowing my name is too much,” you say softly, turning back to the fire. You were slightly frustrated with yourself. Years and years of building a network built around your anonymity destroyed by one man. Deep down, you felt that it was time.

“I wouldn’t tell anyone,” Tommy says simply.

“But you’d want to be in my life,” you say back, still not looking away from the fire. “I’m a woman, but I’m not stupid. I know why you tried to look for me.”

Tommy sits back and watches her. A woman’s never been more direct with him before. Even Grace, who had just asked him to lay with her one final time before moving back to America at the races, had never laid out what she saw so simply and bluntly before. She was right. Tommy wouldn’t tell anyone your name if you asked him to, but he would still want to see you. The only thing more painful than not knowing who you were was knowing and still not being able to see you.

“You could start again,” Tommy says. He barely recongizes the softness in his own tone, but he decides the change is good. “You could work for me, have your men join the Blinders if they wanted.”

“I don’t work for anyone, Mr. Shelby,” you say again cheekily, reminding him of the first time the two of you spoke. You turn to face him and stop to admire his beauty—how the fire cast beautiful shadows across his face, how the moonlight sparkled in his eyes.

“That you don’t,” Tommy hums in agreement, still looking at you. His gaze hadn’t left you since he came home.

It’s silent for a few moments before Tommy says, “Stay.”

“With you?” you ask in slight surprise.

“With me, in Small Heath, with the company—whatever you want. Just stay.”

“You barely know me.”

“Then let me get to know you, Y/N,” Tommy answers, finally saying your name for the first time. He loves the way it spills off his tongue and you equally adore the sound of his voice when he says it.

You nod softly, agreeing with his hearfealt proposition. The two of you spent the rest of the night staring into the fire, allowing your heartbeats and breaths come into sync as you slowly fell asleep.

---

It’s been five years since you had started working for Shelby Company Limited as Tommy’s senior advisor and security specialist, four years since your network of spies had merged with the Peaky Blinders, three years since you and Tommy got married, two years since you gave birth to a set of twins named Benjamin and Mae Shelby, and one year since you had also become a political advisor to your husband and his allies in Parliament.

With your years together, the Shelby family found you to be an intriguing, fascinating, and intimidatingly wonderful woman. They couldn’t comprehend how right you seemed with Tommy. They also couldn’t comprehend how involved you were in their success without them even knowing who you were. However, they love to poke fun at Tommy for basically falling in love with from two interactions.

You were currently at the Arrow House doing the final touch-ups to your makeup for the gala you were hosting in your home. It was a typical charity ball that made sleezy politicians look good in the eyes of their constituants, but you had pressured Tommy to allow you to host it on behalf of the Shelby Family Institute. He had been skeptical, but relented when you reminded him that it wasn’t about giving them a platform to look good, but using their ego to benefit the institute.

“I’ve put the children to bed,” Polly announces as she walks into the master bedroom. The room is obscenely large with a king sized bed in the middle, but Polly can’t help but feel pride every time she visits. It was the both of your hardwork that you got you here and she was proud. “Ben passed out almost immediatley, but you’re right about Mae. She’s a trouble maker.” 

You give Polly a smile through the mirror of the vanity you sat in front of, “Thank you, Pol. Really.”

“Where’s that bastard husband of yours?” Polly jokes as she stands behind you, inspecting her pearls in the mirror.

“His study, no doubt,” you joke with a slight smirk.

“The faith the two of you have in my is astounding,” Tommy says sarcastically, immerging through the en-suite dressed in his tuxedo.

Polly rolls her eyes and leaves the room, leaving the couple to stare at each other.

“You clean up well, Mr. Shelby,” you state, smiling as he approaches you. “Though I’m not sure if that’s because of you or your OBE.”

“Sometimes, I wonder if I should have continued loving you at a distance,” he comments humourously.

You laugh—a real laugh—and wrap your hands around his neck while his arms immediately find themselves around your waist.

“How’re you feeling, darling?” Tommy asks, referring to the mental and emotional preparation for the event that was about to start downstairs.

“I’m not the biggest fan of a lot of your colleagues, Tom,” you say honestly. “Their wives however...they give me thousands of pounds worth of information every sentence.”

“You never cease to amaze me with that mind of yours,” he tells you honestly.

“And you never cease to amaze me with how verbally affectionate you can be,” you quip back lightheartedly before Tommy softly kisses your lips.

“How ‘bout this?” he says once you pull away. “I take care of getting donations, you take care of getting more leverage on the labour bill I’m looking to pass.”

“Done,” you say with a smile before Tommy kisses you again. You begin to hear cars pull into the driveway when you try to pull away, but he keeps you close.

“Tom,” you giggle, breathless. “Tom, the guests are arriving.”

“I’ve waited for you for years, they can wait for you a little while longer,” he replies with a smirk before kissing you deeply once again.

[thatsaweirdwaytospellundead]

New Years 2021: Pomefiore

Rook

Heyyy, Yuu. Happy New Year!

It’s been a while seen we last saw each other, but you look just as energetic as you did before the break.

Vil

Well, obviously. No one could have changed in such a short time, we weren’t even gone that long.

..... Well, I guess I can’t speak for everyone. Isn’t that right, Epel?

Epel

WHAT!! V-VIL! CAN YOU NOT GRAB MY CHIN LIKE THAT SO SUDDENLY!?

Vil

From a distance I noticed a bit of abnormality in your skin... Just as I suspected, your skin looks incredibly rough and dry.

Don’t tell me.... Don’t tell me you have been neglecting your health this whole break?

Epel

U-UHH UHHHHH.....

Vil

Hmmm?

Epel

S-Sorry... W-Well for new years I guess I ate too many fried foods and I stayed up late a lot, m-maybe that was kinda bad for my health....

Rook

Seems like someone had a fun holiday.

Vil

Epel. I am going to plan a special detox menu for you.

Epel

W-WHAT!? DON’T TELL ME YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE ME EAT THOSE GROSS SMOOTHIES AND CRAZY WORK OUTS.....!?

Vil

No if ands or butts! We will fix that dry skin of yours at once!

Epel

Ughh..... Understood.

Rook

Ahh, Vil’s sharp gaze, Epel’s meloncholy expression.... How beauté!

To be graced with both of your beauty so early in the near year! Oh, what a wonderful start to the new year!

May you have a wonderful new year this year and we look forward to spending it together with you again.

[paddy-jam]

So since paddy and lime are your angsty and innocent part of your personality would that mean plumb is your horny side? Ceylon being your meloncholy side? And pet is ...uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ...random? I have no idea what pets personality is

Come-on anon, how would Ceylon be the melancholy side— she’s happy and being dumb all the time lol

She’s the masochism, coward and stockholm side

other’s are kinda correct but not 100 marks, and pet just has to be cute there ndskjdaskjsa

[shuijing-in-wonderland]

╔══════*.·:·.✧    ✦    ✧.·:·.*══════╗

@twst-diana :

♥💫 with Em please for the Ball

Ask Game!

╚══════*.·:·.✧    ✦    ✧.·:·.*══════╝

"Em gives side glances to a certain someone she had her eyes upon, her heart swelling with glee at the thought of dancing with him, but as life goes it was only a moment before her heart was crushed. He was dancing with another, enjoying his time and laughing with the other girl. She feels her heart clench but she gives off a fake smile and runs off to the gardens, little did she know there was another who chased her"

═══════✮❁•°🥀°•❁✮ ═══════

Out in the garden the night breeze carries the scent of blooming flowers with it. The night sky tinted with the glow of the blood red moon. Everything was quiet, everything was calm

No one was there to bother her, no one was there to comfort her.

She releases a shuddering breath as she clutches her mouth to muffle her whimpers. Her heart ached with the knowledge her love wouldn't be reciprocated back. The fantasies inside her head, the signs she's been giving off, the moments she tried to get closer to him. It was all for nought

A rustle from the bushes behind made her jump.

"Hey, Em?"

That voice...

Wiping her eyes furiously she tried to remove any traces of tears from her eyes.

"H-hey Ace... how are you doing?"

Putting on a happy tone she tried to mask her unstable voice, yet she refused to look him in the eye. The male on the other hand wasn't taking any of it. Crossing his arms his voice booming in the otherwise silent garden

"Don't do that, I know you were crying, why are you hiding it?"

"Crying what do you mean I-"

"That's bullsh*t Em and you know it"

Flinching she shut her mouth and looked away. Sighing the ginger walked to her spot and plopped down beside her. Silence stood between the two of them

Shuffling nervously the girl tries to discretely wipe her eyes, seeing this he pulled out his handkercheif and moved her face to look at him "I'm sorry for cursing at you ok? I'm not mad or anything, now tell me why are you crying?" Dabbing the tears away he moved his hands back to him and looked at her

Sniffling the she put on a smile and responded "It's fine it was nothing.. I guess I just got overwhelmed is all" giggling to herself quietly she releases a sigh "kinda silly right? Walking away from a once in a lifetime eve-"

Cutting her off Ace stood up and offered his hand to her "we can still dance here, you don't necessarily need to miss it"

Taking his hand catiously she stood up

"But we don't have music..."

"I can play music on my phone, wait a moment" taking his phone out of his picket he fiddled with it for a moment trying to find the right song.

Giggling to herself Em waited patiently, meloncholy still in her heart

After finally finding the right song Ace placed down his phone at the bench they were sitting at and pulled Em closer to him

The quiet stillness broken by the song playing on his phone as the two of them danced to the tune of it's rythm

A part of Em wanted to stop time and just savour this moment forever. Let her melt in his arms as they swayed beneath the moonlight. Let her live in this fantasy world where there's still hope for her. Hope that her love can be requitted too

"Hey Em"

Looking up at him she titled her head in curiousity

"I think I should be straight with you, before any of this could escalate further"

"..."

Please don't say it

"Em..."

Please just let me live this fantasy for a little longer...

"I know you like me but..."

I already know that you don't need to rub it in my face...

"I like someone else"

....

═══════✮❁•°🥀°•❁✮ ═══════

Oh gosh I'm so sorry this got long;; I guess I got carried away since I like angst but I dunno if I translated it well here but oh well this was fun to write ^^

Also sorry if this seems really badly written I tried I swear am just pretty new to writing -mod Empanada

[delicatefury]

Part 2 of @booksaresacredspew’s 3-part Ask

Here it is, part 2 of 3. I paraphrased. Anyway...

SPOILERS AHEAD for Book I of Grey Dawn Breaking!

SECOND! How does the Gaang (especially Aang) react to Zuko’s sudden heel-face turn:

First off. They know someone’s out there who’s on their side with foreknowledge. Sokka even jokes that it might be Zuko after the solstice. He is shot down, of course, but still. That being said...

Aang is bewildered at first. Here he is, feeling meloncholy that who he thought was a new friend is actually Zuko, and he’s missing his best friend and he goes into his little soliloquy and- Zuko cuts him right off, “haven’t we had this conversation before?’. (He’s a little concussed, he’s remembers this conversation, and he really needs to talk to Aang.) So right off the bat Aang’s off balance. Then Zuko keeps talking. And oh, Sokka might be right. Or that arrow hit really hard. Either/or.

So it’s a bit too good to be true, but Zuko helps him find frogs, drops off tea (because Sokka and Katara are way dehydrated) and tells Aang to talk to Roku ASAP because they need to know what Azula did. Zuko can’t stick around because he can’t have Zhao put 2 and 2 together, but don’t worry, he’ll catch up. And Talk to Roku!

Aang does not talk to Roku. He talks to Sokka and Katara in a roundabout way. Talks to a Fortune Teller. Talks to Jeong Jeong (but again, kinda vague) and manages to convince himself every which way: Zuko’s the help/Zuko’s the deal-maker/it’s some weird elaborate trick. The events at the abbey do not clarify anything (except Zuko’s started... counting? That’s not ominous. (He’s adding hotsquats to Aang’s training. Aang is right to be worried)). It’s not until after Jeong Jeong that Aang’s finally 100% on board. And I mean 100%. This is perfect and everything he’d kinda been hoping for: Zuko’s not actually bad and there’s still good people from the fire nation!

Then he tells Sokka and Katara everything.

Reactions are... mixed. Well, first, they’re both a bit hurt that Aang kept something from them, again, (Sokka may yell) but Aang wanted to be sure before he said anything.This is kinda unbelievable. But then in a letter buried in Appa’s saddlebags, Zuko warns them about the invasion, and gives them a way to convince Pakku to believe them. Sokka is skeptical, but why turn down intelligence? Especially since lying about this earns Zuko nothing. Katara’s hopeful but cautious. She wants Aang to be right since it makes him so happy, but it’s Zuko. Unfortunately, they don’t meet up face to face with Zuko, with this knowledge, until the Siege of the North is underway.

They’re a bit wary around him, since not angry/not Avatar obsessed Zuko throws them off their game. I mean, he’s literally just sitting there, waiting for Zhao to show up. No fireballs or rants or anything. Just... sitting. They don’t really know how to react to him. There is awkward small talk until Aang gets back from the spirit world. Then they’re willing to believe him.

[spaceorphan18]

SO’S GLEE EPISODE RANKING: NO. 3

I started a Full Glee Episode Ranking between seasons 5 and 6 over two years ago now (!!!). My opinions have changed somewhat since then (retrospect is an interesting thing), and I need to include the thirteen season six episodes I neglected in my original list.  With the two year anniversary of the show being over a few months away, I thought I’d count down to by posting an episode every day.  I’ll tag using: glee episode rankings

Here we go…

3. Love, Love, Love (5x01)

Written by: Brad Falchuk Directed by: Bradley Buecker

This episode was a little lower on my list, and then I kept coming back to it.  And back to it.  And back to it.  And I realized -- this is my comfort food episode.  Look -- I love the Beatles, I grew up with it, I feel attached to it, so yeah - it’s not just the Klaine, it’s the music as well.  And I kind of love everything about this episode and push play whenever I need a pick me up episode. I also kicks off my comfort food season - which while, yes yes, season 2 is better -- I have an endless love for season 5. 

And this episode is pretty straightforward with its stories.  Rachel and Santana become singing waitresses -- um, yes please.  Artie and Kitty have a secret romance -- you know what, I think it’s endearing.  

And Kurt and Blaine get back together.  And I kinda love it. ;) 

High Points: 

I’m not a big Rachel, Finn, or Finchel fan - but even I get a little nostalgic as Rachel makes her way through New York - as a nod to real life events that happened over the summer....

Yes! The Beatles are epic enough to spend two weeks on it.  Bam! Plus -- I kinda love everything about this choir room scene, from the fourth wall breaking commentary on the never ending school year, to Unique being a little on the black side. 

I can get behind this softer version of Kitty. 

SINGING WAITRESSES!! -- Also, I really love season 5 Rachel. 

KLAINE REUNION TIME!!! Woot!!!

“America, your prayers have been answered” - Sue’s line after the klaine kiss, lol. 

BLAM! Blam rounding up showchoirs, lol

All the bad things Coach Roz has done. 

‘Kurt and I will have a happy ending’ - lol of course you will, bb, you didn’t start in that choir room ;) 

Everything about Blaine talking to the boys about Tina. 

Blaine’s Paul McCartney impression.

Everything about the last seven minutes of the episode, from Kurt talking to his dad, to the proposal.  And yeah, I get there are issues with Blaine asking Kurt to marry him, I’ll leave that for the meta.  For now -- comfort episode.  

The proposal beats out the auditorium scene.  Yup. 

Low Points: 

Alright, so I’m not a fan of Bree. 

Okay, Sue becoming principal is kind of annoying. 

Music: 

Yesterday: This song is bittersweet and meloncholy as Rachel sings her way through New York.  It’s really about old times, and really about Finn, and it’s incredibly moving. 

Drive My Car: This is kind of fun -- as everyone goes to a theme park and Kitty and Artie heat up.  Not the most necessary song of the bunch, but it’s fun. 

Got To Get You Into My Life: Klaine, and their adorable gorgeousness.  I love everything about this perfromance.  

You've Got To Hide Your Love Away: Another Artie/Kitty duet.  I don’t know if they needed two, but it works for the story they were trying to tell her.

Help: Blam being ridiculous -- it’s fantastic -- especially as we take a tour of past glee club rivals. 

A Hard Day’s Night: Santana and Rachel sing on furniture.  What’s not to love about that? 

I Saw Here Standing There: The boys mimic the actual Beatles in this number -- and it’s so much fun. Yes!

All You Need is Love: Ah, this performance is everything.  I have no words other than I love it. 

Final Verdict: I love this episode.  Pretty sure why speaks for itself ;) 

[gandlafsbignaturals]

Being lonely kinda sucks.

Not the meloncholy loneliness, dark and deep. But that kind of loneliness where you are happy for those around you, but you feel a bit sad that theres no ine there with you. The kind where you are having a good time, then suddenly you withdraw to be alone. . . And then you write moppy posts on tumblr, lol.

[mentalrubikzcube-blog]

~Guide Me~ Ch. 2 & 3

Chapter 2

Stephan

I remember when I lost Lucille, my love. Why did they have to raid her Reading Cirlce? Why did they care so much? We still followed their order. Why did they have to kill her? She was my everything. First they took the mother of my children and then they took my children. Here I stood outside my home where my beautiful daughter grew into the woman she is now and make preperations to go to her trial and be foreced to side against her. What had our world come to. As I sat here deep in thought, a shadow was cast over me. It was Six, the young lad my dear Rissa had fallen head over heels for, even had a child by, and now sat in jail because of. I wanted to smack him with every muscle in my body. But I stood up and just looked at him. He approached me and said immedietly and to my suprise,"I have a way to get Rissa out of prison!""And just how are you, being the skinny twiggy mess you are, get past their top notch security and resue my daughter from this fate you inflicted upon her?" I asked rather inferriated"I have someone on the inside." he retorted"Who?" i matched his retort"My sister." he said actually kinda sad about it, then preceded to look at the ground"Well, then get on it, and get my daughter out of prison." I stated"Well, actually, you have to do it. I havent actually talked to her in 12 years. Plus you see her everyday when you're their for Counsel. Its Netty, I mean Annette. The chambermaid. She'll help you if you explain the situation and offer her reasonable compensation." he said flatly but importantly"Okay, I'll talk to her. Thank you son." I said gruffly"Youre welcome sir. I'm sorry." he said as he was leavingI was glad to know there was a way I could help my Clarissa. God knows I wish I had been able to do it for her mother and her brother. But sometimes life is just this way. We must endure some pain to be truly grateful for the blessings we have. I put on my coat and readied the cart to go to the Head Office for the counsel about my daughters transgressions. I pray that this Annette girl can save her. I wish I could do more. Its so unfair to young kids in love and so many others. How could a World get to this point i pondered as a road along. We finally came to the office. After hitching the cart I headed inside to find this Annette girl. I did remembered her. Pretty thing. Smart and Studious. I liked her very much as the new chambermaid. Very quick one she was. I came into the main conference room and I saw her. I walked up to her and my mouth went dry. How would i convince her to put her life on the line for my daughter. I would forget it out as I was talking I guess. I walked up to her and said,"Good evening, how are you?"Abit taken abackshe quietly said, "I'm fine, how are you?""Fine, fine. Are you Annette, related to a Nathan Felix, a kid who goes by the name Six?""Six? Is he okay? How are the others? Hows mother?" she vommited questions upon me, wow, they really hadnt talked in a long time. She was starved for information."They are all okay. He said you might be able to help me? I need a favor.""Whats your payout, what do I get?""Six..."She intergected "My brother!""Yes, your brother, said that you would sneak my daughter out for a library full of vintage books. I happen to have many books of several different topics that will be all yours if you do this." I state to herShe thought for a moment and then said "Okay. I'll do it.""Thank you. I do truly appreciate you doing this. Bring her to the southeast side where the over hang is. Someone will be there." I told her, then rushed off to our seat, the trial was beginning. I took my seat and they brought her out. Shackled and so white. It had been two weeks. That she had been in that dark and damp cell. I hated to see her like this. They sat her down infront of the Elder Counsel. The Head of the Elders, Hall Everclear stood up and said,"What are the chargers against this wretch?"A lady stood up from the opposing side and stated,"Clarissa Taylor is accused of having sexual realtions with a memeber not of her house. Also accused of having an Impure Out of Wedlock Infant. Also accused of lying to her husband and disobeying his rule. Also accused of usurping authority of The Head and the General Laws. She is scheduled to undergo leathal injection for her crimes as payment. Thats all Your Power."The Head Elder responded with, "Of the Elders, who diagress with this motion."As they carried the motion to execute my daughter I was over come with emotion. Which doesnt often happen. It was carried and in so doing this they carried my baby off to her cell, to prepare for tomorrows main event. They tried to make her comfortable and even sent in priests to pray on her. Cast all the evil away and redeem her, but it wont do anything. Rissa is just like her mother. God rest her soul. When we were young, Lucille and I, we had so much fun together and she was so unbelievalbly beautiful in the sunlight. Flawless skin and huge bright smile. Eyes as big as baseballs and eyelashes a mile long. Flowing hair and memorable laugh. She was my everything and I know if she were here she would be so damn proud of her daughter. We are going to see so much from her, you wait and see. You to Lucille, I know you see us from up above. Ill be with you soon my love, I know this to be true. After the trial I left and went home. Waiting to see my daughter walk through that door and will stay there until she does. I will not witness her death, no parent should ever have to see that. It wont happen again. I finally get undressed and readied for bed. I laid down and thought back to when Lucille and I were first married and thats where I drifted into dream land. Chapter 3

Anette

She got sick. Really sick. More sick then we had seen her before. We wouldnt know until later on that this "sickness" couldn't be cured. The Head wouldn't let that happen. They wanted to get rid of the weak. They didnt have to make up a reason to get rid of them this way. Nature would take its course. I couldnt believe that our mother had succumb to this. There was no use, but my brother and I pushed forward and did all we could. Six worked as hard as he could. Because our no good father would go down to The Hole, a secret pub that drunks went to. He only worked if The Guards came to The Hole and forced everyone out and into the factories. But The Head didnt get rid of The Hole because it also got rid of the weak. And again they didnt have to lift a finger. But they also busted it up because thy still had work that needed to be done and after all they fed them, so they should get something for their cost. I would never really understand this until Six, my mother, and I were all seperated. Mother passed away on a cold October morning. She went peacefully though, asleep in her bed, she just couldnt fight anymore. Her and Six talked the night before and the conversation made him very upset. I over heard alittle, but now I fully understand what as a child I could not, but as an adult was crystal clear. The Head didnt car about us, they used us and threw us away like used tissues. Apparently when mother was "going to get treated" they were doing experiments on her trying to understand the illness because apparently The First Woman had fallen with it. And they had to find a cure, so they cut my mother open to find out what was wrong not caring whether she was treated or not. No, all she was, was a guinea pig. And it made me sick. I over heard her tell Six that I was gonna end up in the House with all the other Head's children. Tthat even though this was happning that he was still responsible for me and had to keep an eye on me so that the same thing that happened to her wouldnt happen to me. Apparently this sickness was hereditary and I might get it also. I was even more scared. Not only was I gonna live with these evil people but they might also hurt me and use me the way they did my mother. It was too much to expect of Six. It really was. How was he suppose to see inside where they kept the kids locked away? That was the whole point. But some how he did because even though he could see me I never saw him. I was however glad to know that he had found love. He truly deserves it. I was so proud of him and maybe I would even see him in getting Rissa out safe and sound. We got out and headed to what was called The Underground. Rissa knocked on the door and a man opened it. He had no hair and was covered in tattoos and piercings. He wore a black tank top and rough beat up blue jeans. He didnt look anything I had ever seen before. And his eyes were so captivating. A fresh mellow meadow green. So pure and yet so meloncholy. He was smoking a whitey. I only eve saw men at The Hole smoking those. They were so rare and no one my age smoked. We might get a sip of hard cider but that was about it and maybe an occasional spliff or two a year. I actually had one saved for a very special person. He embraced Rissa with worry and anxiety."Are you okay? I was so worried. Six stopped by and told me you were arrested. Wheres X-man?" he said while smoke flowed through his teeth. Like a dragon."He was taken. Those sons of whores! Is Six okay?" Rissa said frantic, running her hand through her hair and taking the whitey and puffing a couple times. "I have to be going, but Im glad youre safe. Please send my love to Nathan." I pipe up amongst the chaos"Where the hell you think youre going?" The man said blowing smoke in my direction, he had the white stick back now. "I have to get back to The House. They will be looking for Rissa and I can distract so she can reconnect with Nathan. Im so happy for you two. Tell my brother I love him very much." I say looking at Rissa, then I begin to walk away."No, youre not going back!" he said grabbing my arm. I turned to find him looking down into my eyes so focused and determined. My breathe caught in my throat. No one had ever looked at me like that."I have to do something." I say confidently, though I was still a little shocked. I had to see her one more time. I wriggled out of his grasp."Let her go Tats, she knows what shes doing, thank you for everything." Rissa said coming up and giving me a hug. "Be careful." she said in my ear.I waved goodbye and walked away, I headed staight to her room. I did this quite often but tonight was special. It would most likely be the last time I saw her. My one love. Trisha Lynn. I got to her room and lightly tapped on the door. It opened and out slipped this gorgeous young woman with raven black hair and eyes as dark as the coal. I pulled her close and whispered in her ear, "Come with me." We walked out side and across the green grass until we got to our special tree. I had a box inside that held things we had made for each other,notes we had written, and our secret stash of greenies. I only had one left and I wanted to use it tonight. We laid under the tree passing it back and forth. Looking at the stars and talking."One day were gonna have our own house, we little ones running around, well just run off into the sunset and well do it." she said while exhaling. I took it and smiled at her. I loved that idea even though I knew it wouldnt happen. I loved her so much. I wanted to have a house with her. Have kids with her. Treat her better then anyone else ever had or ever would. She was My Sweetling, My Dove, My One True Love. I would miss her, but atleast we had tonight. We finshed the greenie and all I wanted to do was kiss her. We laid beneath teh stars that night for the last time. We both dosed off but I woke up before morning and guided her back to her room. She rubbed her eyes and hugged me, as she went to pull away I pulled her close and said in her ear so tenderly, "I love you." She had wanted me to say it before, but I wasnt ready until now. I now knew that I truly did love her. Because she was the only reason I was sad to leave this cruel world. I knew they would take me in Rissas place. And that was okay, my brother had sacrificed for me, now it was my turn. She pulled me in closer and rather choked up said in my ear,"I love you too." Tears came to my eyes, I had never been more happy. I let her go and she slipped back inside and I headed back to my room. As I did I saw Nathan or Six as hes better known. Right across the way too. He stopped and looked at me. He smiled and stared. I did the same. We knew what the other was thinking. Then we turned and kept walking. It was almost like a dream, but I know it happened. I got back to my room, slipped into bed, and fell asleep thinking about Trisha and how the world once was.